'Susan?'

My name, Susan wondered dreamily. Is that Lucy? Lucy! Oh, God! The water and Lucy was drowning-

'Lucy?' Her voice sounded rasped and weak to her own ears. She could see the slight figure approaching her and tried to sit up on the bed. The movement sent a wave of nausea roiling through her.

'Don't move,' Lucy admonished her gently. 'You're not well yet.'

'I was in the water,' Susan whispered slowly. 'I was in the water and I thought I was going to die and I thought you were-' Her throat tightened on her last words and Susan closed her eyes. 'How did I get here?'

Lucy rested her hand on Susan's pale cheek. Her skin was cool to the touch. 'Caspian saved you.'

'Caspian?' Susan attempted to sit up once more, fuelled by the shock that coursed through her body. 'Caspian?' Her brain began to document all the small details around her. The soft, silky material of the bedsheets and the pillowcases and the covers- Susan shook her head. She wasn't home. This was not home. Home was a small, cramped flat in London. Home was rough linen bedsheets that smelled like the rose water scent she used. These sheets smelled like lavender and were too rich and warm to be real. Slowly, she tore her gaze away from the bed and examined the room.

Calling it a 'room' belittled the grandeur of the chamber. It was massive and beautifully decorated in that distinctive Narnian way. Leaves and vines were carved into the wooden posts of the canopy bed. Up ahead, the stone fireplace was flanked by two stone does, rearing up with their little hooves to touch the sides of the fireplace. And flowers. Flowers everywhere she looked. Roses blooming out of the two marble vases beside the bed. Lilies strewn across the plush window seats. Gardenias spilling out of woven baskets on the stone mantel. Freesias fighting for space with peonies and hyacinths on the low marble table. And scores of other flowers whose names escaped Susan as she stared at them in wonder.

How could she have not registered the scent of these beauties? She who spent her weekends visiting various flower markets in London, a luxury she could never afford. Instead, Susan contented herself with studying floriculture and conversing with the florists, hoping one day to have her own garden with flowers blooming everywhere you could barely move. At these markets, some of the florists grew pleased with her, a young and beautiful woman who possessed such impressive knowledge of florals, and would give her their own flowers. Others told her to go bother another seller if she wasn't going to buy anything.

'Do you want to eat something?' Lucy hovered anxiously beside her.

Susan started and stared up at her younger sister, having forgotten her presence. 'Are we really in Narnia, Lu?' Lucy nodded, eyes mirroring the delighted disbelief in Susan's eyes. 'Really? Truly?'

'Really, truly.' Lucy caught her glancing in bewilderment at the flowers once again. 'Caspian brought these for you. The flowers,' Lucy clarified when Susan regarded her blankly. 'He remembers. She used to loved all the flowers in the land, he said. He asked me if you still did. He wondered if he should have flowers delivered to your room, so you'd be greeted by a pleasing sight.'

'And what did you tell him?' Susan caught herself clenching her hands into fists in anticipation.

Lucy shrugged off-handedly. 'I told him I am a pleasing enough sight.'

'Lucy Pevensie-'

'-and I told him I wasn't certain if you still love flowers but I said he could try.'

Susan frowned. 'But you know I've always loved them. Why weren't you certain?' This was strange. Lucy had always brought her beautiful fresh flowers when she visited her older sister in London.

'I was certain, Su,' Lucy explained patiently. 'I simply wanted to see if he would try. And try, he did.' She eyed the spilled lilies and tutted under her breath. 'The castle gardeners tear their hair out every time he visits the gardens. He's had about every petal in the palace gathered for you.'

Susan shook her head, suddenly overcome by an onslaught of emotions. Tears pooled in her eyes and she blinked, wetting her lashes. 'This can't be real, Lu. It simply can't...' When she last left Narnia, she knew she wouldn't be returning forever. Susan, smart, practical Susan, had always been good with goodbyes. She thought she would accept the end of this chapter of her life calmly, with her usual poise. What she didn't expect was the crushing heartbreak and desperate longing that plagued her even years after the magical country closed its doors on her. She didn't expect the taunting dreams that cruelly fed memories of Narnia into her head. She didn't expect the dark nightmares that had her waking up, sobbing at the loss and the pain.

Waking up like this seemed like the start of one of her dreams and she was very well acquainted with how those ended.

Lucy, oblivious to the haunted look in Susan's eyes or the tears that glistened on her cheeks, sauntered to the lower marble table. There, she selected an apple from the overflowing basket of fruits and polished it on her sleeve. 'He sent these, too,' she said as she munched on the crisp fruit. 'He will probably come-' Lucy had turned around, another apple in hand for Susan, when the look on her sister's face had her frozen in place. 'Oh, no! Su, why are you crying?' Lucy hurried to the bed and crawled beside Susan, already wrapping her arms around the older woman's waist. 'Don't, please don't cry.' A keening wail escaped Susan's lips and Lucy leaned back, startled. 'Ignore what I said. Cry all you want, Su.' The apples lay forgotten on the table, nestled amongst the flowers.

'I never thought I'd return,' Susan sobbed. 'I've longed for this place, I've dreamt about coming back and it's always just another dream and I'd wake up in that horrible flat and it seemed like a cruel joke someone was playing on me-' Her blue eyes swam with tears as she stared at Lucy. 'This is real, isn't it? We're all back in Narnia?'

Lucy nodded, close to tears at seeing Susan lose her usual composure. 'We're all back.' She gently wiped her sister's cheeks. 'Su, we're all home.'

Peter sighed and leaned back in the leather armchair. 'Nothing beats a good sword fight.'

Edmund looked up from the window seat. He had carelessly pushed aside the lilies that occupied the seat, sending them tumbling down onto the stone floor, until Susan fixed him with a glare that had him hastily gathering the flowers. 'Nothing beats me in a good sword fight.' He closed his eyes and grinned. 'Not even High King Peter, the Magnificent.'

Peter's eyes flashed with humor. He had long since accepted that Edmund was, at times, a more capable swordsman than he was and they had both kept the rivalry between them alive for their own amusement. 'I seem to remember a particular duel when a certain King of Old tripped over his own sword…' Edmund reared up, preparing to deliver his own salvo.

'Oh, stop it, both of you,' Lucy snapped. She carefully balanced the soup tray on Susan's lap. 'Here. Something to tide you over until dinner.'

Susan stretched languidly and inhaled the fragrant smell of soup and freshly baked bread. 'I'm absolutely famished; I could eat a whole cow.'

Edmund snorted and strolled over, hopping onto the bed and ignoring Susan's frown. 'Someone should tell Caspian Su's up. He's been fretting over you these past couple of days, I thought he might sprout some grey hairs.' He threw the flowers blooming all over the chamber a disgusted look. 'And maybe he'll stop sending you all this…nonsense if he knows you're awake. The smell of these plants will be the death of me.'

Susan swallowed the chunk of bread and fought to keep the blush from her face. 'Couple of days? Have I been unconscious for that long?'

'Give or take.' Peter pushed the armchair closer to the bed and eyed the tray of food hungrily. 'Listen, Su. I know this is too much to ask, what with your condition, but…may I please have a piece of bread?' His eyes widened pleadingly, lips pursed in a begging pout. Lucy dissolved into a fit of giggles and Susan smiled indulgently, tossing him a piece from the mound of warm bread.

'And that's for you, too,' Susan said archly, tossing another to Edmund, who caught if deftly. 'Honestly, I don't know how men can eat so much and not have to fret about their figures.'

'My corset helps,' Edmund quipped, grinning with his mouth full, much to the delighted disgust of the women. 'Does Caspian know?'

'I told him you were awake,' Lucy volunteered when Susan found herself intently studying the soup spoon. 'He said he'll come to visit you in a while. He wanted us to have some time with you.'

'Good man,' Peter nodded approvingly. He stared down at the heel of the bread in his hand. 'You're alright with seeing him, Su?' Susan looked up into her brother's concerned gaze and she felt the love she held for her siblings warm her. 'You'll tell us, won't you, if you don't want him in here?' Peter continued, already assuming a protective stance. 'He has already been in here of course, but I can-'

Susan finally registered this new piece of information. 'Caspian has been in here? He's been…visiting me?' she blurted out.

'Of course.' Lucy watched her, sly as fox. 'Who do you think brings the flowers?'

Of course. Of course! Susan could have smacked her head for being slow in gathering her wits. 'I don't mind him visiting me,' she heard herself saying faintly. 'I haven't seen him in ages. It would be…nice to talk to him.' She cleared her throat awkwardly, aware of the knowing looks her siblings exchanged.

'Alright.' Peter stood up and pushed the armchair back to its original position. 'Ed and I have important business to see to and you need to rest some more, Su.'

Lucy bent down and gathered the tray. 'We'll come visit you later,' she assured Susan, kissing her sister's cheek. Catching the anxious look in her sister's sapphire eyes, she bent down to whisper in her ear. 'He'll come see you, don't worry.'

Susan watched the heavy doors close behind her siblings. Her stomach was comfortably full with the food and she felt drowsy. Her lids warred with her consciousness, battling for sleep as she fought to stay awake. Caspian might come to visit her at any moment and she didn't want to miss him.

No, she's missed too much of him.

She fought the drowsiness and the lingering fear. Did she want to see him?