Ratings: PG13
Warnings: Violence, Swearing
Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.

Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

Chapter 4 - The Beast and the Harlot:

(Wednesday – October 12th - Evening - Continued)

Atsushi's eldest brother strode forwards, stepping into the kitchen wearing a dark leather jacket and heavy boots, his violet hair rolled at the base of his neck in a bun and his long bangs hanging over his dark eyes. In spite of all the sudden commotion, his heavy footsteps loud in the silence of the shocked family atmosphere, and he seemed unafraid as he came to rest his hands on Atsushi's shoulders.

Atsushi flinched and blinked, opening his eyes wide. He had gone into the black and jumped when he felt calm hands grab a hold of him and aggressively steer him from the room. His head was forced into the armpit of a taller, stronger man, most likely so he wouldn't see the damage he caused, and was led from the room. The man smelt of sweat, salt, and cedar wood spice, and had taken him down the walkway to their front door and just outside their fence to stand in the cool night air.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" He asked, his voice a deep, smooth tenor and a large hand was shoved in his face.

Atsushi glared, annoyed. He wasn't in the mood for these games with his father, then his eyes widened with surprise as he recognized the hand by the black painted fingernails. It was his eldest brother, Fuji, that had dragged him out of the house.

"Why do I even-"

His older brother slapped the hand he held up away.

"How many fingers?" he pressed.

"Two."

"Now?"

"Three!"

"Now?"

"One! What is the point of this?!"

"Because I want to make sure you are in control of your emotions!"

Atsushi rolled his eyes, but he knew his brother was right. Once he was out of control, it wouldn't matter how many fingers his brother held up, all that would matter is that he would be too close to another human in the moment for them to be safe.

He turned away, pinching his nose between his thumb and forefinger and focused all his thoughts onto keeping his breathing stable. Slowly, after several minutes, he felt his muscles unwind and his shoulders slumped. When the air began to taste clean again and the fatigue began to set in from his body beginning to run off adrenaline, he opened his eyes and dropped his hand. His brother hadn't moved.

"Better?"

"Yes."

Since the hostility had left his body, shame came creeping in to take its place. A faint blush streaked across his cheeks and he turned his face down to stare at the lines in the pavement.

"How-" his voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "How bad is it?"

"Bad enough."

"Are you...trying to calm me down?"

"More or less."

"Why aren't you yelling at me?"

"Because it wouldn't help."

Atsushi stared at his brother in admiration. He didn't think twice about his words. It dawned on him that his oldest brother would have had the opportunity to watch him and all his other siblings grow to the point he was at now, and he himself knew very little of his elder the other way around.

"Fuji-"

"Atsushi. Don't."

He stayed his tongue. It was very rare for him to speak with his eldest sibling, more now than ever since he had been under the impression that Fuji was living in Tokyo while studying to be an engineer at the Tokyo Institute of Technology.

"Atsushi. You must not know much about me. You weren't born until much later in my life, and your childhood would easily be my teenage years. And I wasn't home much for you to see all that. But you remind me of myself at that age: rebellious, carefree, arrogant. Don't be angry with me, it's the truth. Hear out what I have to say. I know what it's like going through what you're going through. And I know there must be more than just what's being seen at the surface. Why do you think our parents aren't at their wits ends with you? They've gone through worse with me. And that's why I'm pulling you aside now; because I don't want someone else being in my place. I didn't have an older brother giving me this advice. I had an officer of the law pulling me aside and telling me this.

"What I'm asking you, Atsushi, is to learn to control that temper of yours. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here for you. Even if I'm in Tokyo, I'm just a call away. So if you want to, tell me what's bothering you. You are not alone."

Confusion clouded over Atsushi's thoughts. It had been a long time since he had paid attention to that many words from anyone in his family. The information given to him seemed to override many of his previous thoughts. He wasn't sure if he should answer or ask one of the questions that formed in his mind.

"Fuji-chin? How bad were you?"

"Bad enough. I got angry fast. It started out innocent enough: swearing people and flipping them off. But I didn't learn to control it, and with my temper and huge size, well, it was a recipe for disaster. I didn't mean to hurt people as badly as I did, but they are just fragile to me. When I started breaking bones, well, that's when the police got involved. And that's when I realized how bad it was. Arms and legs, yeah, they heal. But break someone's neck or spine, and they can be damaged for life, Atsushi. Or die. I forced myself to listen more, to discover my triggers and walk away from them. And I was very hurt over the death of my twin, so naturally it was my biggest source of discomfort. Which leads us back to you, Atsushi. What is bothering you? Because in my past experience, it was someone – or rather the lack of someone – who was causing me pain."

Atsushi spat and turned to rest his arms on the gate. He knew it was serious if Fuji would bring up their deceased sister.

"It's Aka-chin." he sighed, giving in. "He's...been on my mind of late."

"I don't mean to pry, but is he only on your mind, little brother?" Fuji waited a small moment, turning to lean gently on the fence as well. "What made you hit our brother then? I doubt he came to say something about Akashi out of the blue."

Atsushi turned pink in the cheeks. "Well, you caught me. I skipped class today to see Aka-chin because he's in town and Akira was going to rat me out."

"And that's bad not because you ditched school but because that means you would get Akashi in trouble, right?"

"More or less."

Fuji sighed.

"Give me your phone."

"What?"

"I'm going to call Akashi and talk to him. You can't be ditching school for him, but I can see too clearly how messed up you are over him. This-" He pointed out Murasakibara's outfit, his black-rimmed eyes, and his glare. "It's because he broke it off with you, didn't he?"

"It was never like that." Atsushi whisper, feigning innocence and looking away.

"I was a teenager too, Atsushi. And I ran with a crowd worse than a basketball club."

Atsushi blushed and tried to lie over his lie. "It was a mutual break up."

"Really? Because if you really consented to it, I'd think you would handle yourself better. Don't think we're all blind, Atsushi. I wasn't even here and I knew how you abruptly your behaviour changed and you stopped talking to all of your old friends, even Kise!"

Atsushi barely noticed the blush on Fuji-chin's cheeks as said Kise's name.

"It's not because of Aka-chin."

"Damn right it is! You've been ignoring everything and any one that will remind you of him. You even threw away Aiko's shirt because it was from Teiko! She told me about that."

Atsushi blushed. He hadn't been aware that he had been so obvious in his attempt to forget anything to do with Akashi. He himself had barely been aware that had been what he was attempting to do in the first place. But since Fuji was forcing him to recall his actions and find the motivation behind them, it began to make sense: he had been trying to hide from anything that would trigger him to remember Akashi. He was surprised that he hadn't quit basketball, but then he realized that had been one of the reasons he had been attending Yosen high.

"Was it really easy to pick up?" he asked, surprised by the harsh reality check that Fuji had given him. He himself hadn't noticed it, so he had assumed that everyone was blind to it as well.

Fuji just nodded, folding his arms across his chest. "I wasn't here, Atsushi. And it was obvious even to me. Dad just had to tell me what you did and I could finish his sentence about the reason why. Now let me call Akashi so that we can go inside and you can get up and meet him tomorrow."

"Really?! You aren't going to rat me out?!" Atsushi looked up at his eldest brother, amazed by what he was hearing. He was going to let him see Akashi again? He would give him the chance to straighten this entire mess Himuro had created out?

"I was in your boat at one point, Atsushi. I know what needs to get done to begin fixing what needs fixing. I wasn't so fortunate to simply have to speak to someone about a mistake; that mistake cost me our sister. I had to face many legal hurdles before that one was resolved. Consider yourself lucky."

Atsushi blushed, but he couldn't keep the grin off his face. He hadn't expected Fuji would be willing to help him and let him skip school to meet with Akashi. Again the guilt set in and he found himself hanging his head in shame. "Thank you, Fuji. I- I really don't know what to say. I- I should apologize to Akira."

"You will."

With some reluctance, Atsushi reached into the pocket of his overalls and handed his phone over with any protest. He couldn't find it in himself to lift himself up, so he motioned that he would prefer if Fuji spoke to Akashi further down the street. He didn't want to hear the conversation; it would replay in his mind over and over until the first rays of the sun came up.

His brother nodded and walked away with the phone already at his ear. He spoke on the phone for several minutes, nodding at several points and looking away down the street so he wouldn't meet eyes with his younger brother. Afterwards, he caught up to Atsushi, glad to see his younger brother had finally found the strength to stand up straight again and no longer lean on their already-unstable fence. He handed back the small phone and smiled in the darkness. His hand went to his hair, sweeping his bangs back over his face, and he revealed the short action of placing a cigarette to his lips. He caught himself and put his hand in the pocket, his long bangs falling back into place where they were.

"Old habits die hard, eh?" He broke the silence with a grin, trying not to downplay his action and not at all ashamed that Atsushi caught him doing it.

"Fuji-chin?"

"Hmm?"

Atsushi hesitated for a moment and switched his question at the last minute. "You used to smoke?"

Fuji nodded and kicked a stone lightly, watching as it skidded down the road for a moment. "I used to use it as a way to curb my anger. It forced me to breathe, and that calmed me down."

Atsushi chewed on his answer for a while, trying to recall what he had been thinking of when Fuji had arrived.

"Kise-chin?"

"I'm hoping you won't go there, Mukkun." There was an edge to the reply.

"You singled him out by name-"

"Yes?"

"I was just wondering, why is that?"

"He talked to you the most. Came over a lot more often."

"You blushed."

Fuji blushed again and he ran his hand through his hair once more. "You are more observant than I give credit for."

"Well?"

"I liked it when you had Kise-chin over. Or when I'd seen him in your games. He's...a good reminder that there is some good in this world."

"You like Kise-chin?"

Fuji blushed and looked away. He shrugged then, and it seemed like for a moment he wanted to say something, then thought better of it. "I won't deny it."

"You like Kise-chin." Murasakibara muttered in disbelief. "Wow!"

"Don't you want to know what Akashi said?" Fuji replied, leaving the words hanging there for Atsushi to take as bait and distract him from the fact that he had just revealed he had a crush on his youngest brother's male model best friend.

"Yes!"

Fuji smiled at the eagerness his brother held for the small boy. He pressed his lips together and went on to explain. "He was quite reluctant to meet you again. I don't know what you did, but he was trying his best to be polite about it."

"But did he agree?!"

"Yes. After some persuasion. He kept saying that it was a good idea if you kept your distance from him. You better not have shown your temper to him."

"I didn't, I swear it!" Atsushi realized he was shouting. He blushed and lowered his voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

Fuji raised a hand. "Peace. You're learning control."

Atsushi smiled. It was easy to be around Fuji-chin; he was not at all as cold as he appeared. He was really down to earth, and Atsushi was very grateful that he was with him. He was surprised by how much he missed his oldest brother since he moved to Tokyo, and it dawned on him that he wasn't entirely sure why he was back.

"Thank you, Fuji-chin. But...what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Tokyo?"

"It is no problem, little brother." Fuji smiled, "And I guess so. I took the term off, actually. I missed home, I missed you. I thought it would be a good experience for you, being the baby and all, to get to hang out with me for a lil' bit – especially after I heard so much about how you were. I did a few extra courses each term, so I think I deserve a break. I actually told mum and dad I would be coming this week, but I guess they forgot to tell you."

Atsushi blushed, "I might have been avoiding them." He confessed.

"Ah, I see." Fuji replied in a teasing voice. He put a hand on Atsushi's shoulder and held his youngest sibling close; it was a special kind of bond that they alone shared in their family. No one else had been so wild or so big. But the thought of having another to be in company with was a pleasing thought to him. And he was glad that despite the storm, the calm would soon be coming.

"Maybe I'll invite Kise-chin over sometime?" Atsushi mumbled into Fuji-chin's shoulder. "Before you return to Tokyo?"

"That would be nice." Fuji commented. He knew Atsushi was only trying to tease him, but he would let it go just this once. He would let his younger brother grow a few more inches to even their sizes out before he would rough-play with him again; it was still too tempting to break a finger or two.

Thursday, October 13th

It was an exhausting night and Atsushi was glad it was over when he awoke in the morning. Most of his dreams had been plagued by the events after he had entered the house with Fuji. He had headed back into the kitchen where his parents and Nori sat, the latter with an ice pack over much of his face.

He had blushed and swept the hair from his face so they were sure he was being sincere. His eldest brother had stood by his side, putting a hand on his shoulder as he spoke in a rush about how he felt ashamed and sorry for his unforgivable act of violence. His mother had sobbed, his father had glared, but the worst was when Akira had spoke in a strained voice that he forgave him for his actions.

In the end they hugged it out, in the way only two brothers could, and Atsushi went to bed without any more food. His parents were still displeased with him, he could feel their disapproval and concern, but they hadn't yelled at him, and he wasn't entirely sure if he would have felt better if they had. Fuji had stayed up with their parents, the three of them speaking late into the night in quiet voices. Nori stayed in another room that night to give Atsushi some space and allow him to calm down, and he was grateful for the solitude. He was sure that if Nori stayed, his mind would play tricks on him and distort his reality so that he would listen to hear him struggling to breathe with a swollen face, and he would have puked out of the disgust he held for himself as he mentally tormented himself about Akira's injury all through the night. He wondered what Fuji had told Akashi when he had called to make him agree to seeing him, but he was sure that it was going to be confusing enough to have to explain everything about Himuro with him too.

Since his mind wouldn't shut down, he kept his hands busy by creating the vision he had seen in his mind earlier that day when he was with Akashi, another gift he wanted to present to him before he left Akita. While his hands worked, he forced himself to reflect on Kise-chin's life at present and decided he would have to see him eventually anyways. Kise-chin hadn't forgotten him, and he was glad to be back in touch with him. It was early in the morning when he had finally pulled himself away from his small desk and to his pillow, content with his work.

He got out of bed not many hours later, feeling and looking like he had stayed up all night, and rushed to get ready for school. Fuji was still at the kitchen table when he had come down, which surprised Murasakibara; he wasn't sure if his brother had gone to bed at all last night.

Fuji held a coffee mug up in a greeting and winked, already in on the plan to double back. Atsushi wasn't sure if his brother would be waiting for him when he returned in twenty minutes, but since he had just returned from Tokyo he figured Fuji wouldn't have anywhere he immediately had to go to.

Atsushi shouldered his bag and walked down the block. Nori had taken the twin with him, wanting to make sure Akira was well enough to go out today. Atsushi desperately hoped so, at least for the morning. He feared that he wouldn't be able to control another close call with his brother, who was ironically too nosey for his own good.

Atsushi circled the block this time, not wanting to have to sit still for too long. He impatiently checked his wristwatch for the time over and over, and circled the block once more, walking with his board in his hand to keep from going too far too fast. He headed back home when he was sure the anxiety was eating a hole in his stomach lining. He didn't want to run into his parents leaving, but he was sick of being stared at by strangers in his school uniform and risk having the school be called again.

His parents had left and, surprisingly, so had his brother. The house was empty. A folded piece of paper left on his bed wished him good luck and reminded him to keep his temper in check. It was signed Fuji with a badly drawn smiley face, which made Murasakibara smile, and he put the note under his pillow so he could have a laugh at the face whenever he felt down again. He understood Fuji's actions: he had planned not to go with Atsushi the entire time, understanding that his relationship with Akashi was personal and too intimate to be supervised. By leaving the house before Atsushi returned, he granted him the small gift of solitude he would need to feel under control of himself and check his emotions again, without feeling as though he was a prisoner.

He switched his bags and his clothes, knowing that he was less suspicious this way, and was on his board again. The fact that he was allowed to go see Akashi alone rose his spirits, and he was weaving recklessly through the narrow sidewalks, under the store front zonings, and alongside the traffic in no time, hurrying to meet with the redhead. The wind blew his hair back, the music was cranked up, and he felt the freedom of just letting everything go. Memories bit at the back of his mind, but as he whizzed past faces and buildings he shook them off easily. He visualized each memory like a candy wrapper and imagined he was dropping them behind him as he raced onwards. It made him smile.

He wrapped his mind around the music, listening to the screams and feeling the blood pumping in his veins as he forced his body to balance out the board. The screaming set his mind free, and he suddenly felt like it was freedom he wanted to share with another, to share with Akashi.

He jumped the board onto the sidewalk and flipped the back of it into his hand as he raced into the entrance of the hotel. His black t-shirt had clung to his body with the wind pressing against it, but now it loosened and hugged him snuggly, being one of his smaller designs. The bright white spider's web extending over his left shoulder was cracked and fading, but he loved the shirt dearly. In his cockiest manner his adoration of the shirt was primarily because of its sizing and how it showed off his muscles best, with the white lines dipping in all the right places.

The hotel staff paid no attention to him as he crossed the lobby and took the stairs two at a time to get to Akashi. In his upbeat mood, he visualized himself in shiny, silver armor dashing up the stairs to save a distressed Akashi held hostage by some rouge beast. He snickered at the thought, finding it amusing because Akashi would never be so useless, and slowed down since he didn't want to get all sweaty before he saw him.

Akashi was in the bedroom, brushing his hair with his fingers and trying to spike the red strands in a messy style. He didn't use any product, just water, and the effect was rather striking. Against his pale skin, he had painted a sharp contrast with dark eyeliner and his vivid hair gave him the look of a rag doll. He sighed and smiled at the mirror, not sure if he would ever be satisfied with the image, but was glad that he appeared more to Atsushi's current style with his hair and makeup done this way. When there was a knock at the door, he turned away to answer it and was determined not to worry about the mirror again.

The door swung open and Murasakibara held his breath. He didn't wait to cross over the threshold and wrap his arms around Akashi. The smaller boy was shocked at his bold move, but he wrapped his arms around his former center in surrender, knowing that rejecting him wouldn't matter at this point; the man was so huge any attempt to reject him would be pointless. He had planned to maintain a distance between the pair of them, to make it clear that they wouldn't be touching, but with Murasakibara's arrogant attitude there was little he could do to oppose him.

The two fit together like puzzle pieces and it was a moment before Murasakibara released Akashi from his grip. The first words out of Murasakibara mouth soured Akashi's indifference to the hug.

"I'm so sorry, Aka-chin!"

Without waiting for an explanation, Akashi took advantage of Murasakibara's face being so close to his and smacked him hard, his palm stinging from the impact.

Murasakibara's face stayed turned. He breathed in through his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. The note on his bed flashed before his eyes and he fought to stay calm. He had been happy and now he was ready to tear Akashi's throat out. The testosterone in his body raged suddenly, spiking high and soaring above logic. He forced himself to swallow and shook his head.

Akashi stepped back. He hadn't realized his actions would prompt a physical response. He watched as Murasakibara's hands clenched into fists and his shoulders shook.

It was some time before Murasakibara looked at him, his temper once more under control.

"Sorry about that too." He gruffly spoke, still clearly calming down.

"Yeah." Akashi agreed, this time accepting the apology. "So am I."

"What was that for?"

Akashi smiled. "You ruined the moment."

Murasakibara smiled and then started laughing. "I suppose I did. Guess I deserved that then."

They both smiled and then Akashi turned and led them to the table. Murasakibara closed the door and took the same seat he sat in yesterday. His eyes ran up and down Akashi's body and he bit his bottom lip. Perhaps it was the lyrics in his music, or perhaps it was because he was no longer the shy boy Akashi had once known, but he found Akashi's small body rather sexy now. His eyes drank in his slender waist and long limbs in quiet appreciation before he hurried to hide the growing lust from his eyes.

Instead, he fished in his bag to give himself some time to cover his mood. He pulled out a small velvet bag and handed it to Akashi.

"Here."

Akashi took the bag curiously and shook the contents out carefully. Inside were four Japanese towers, two inches tall. Alongside them were four identical towers an inch tall. And six small squares with kanji scribed on them. Akashi starred at the intricately designed pieces of wood; half painted blood red and the other half ivory white. They were the items Murasakibara had spent most of last night working on.

"Oshi pieces?!" he gasped, surprised.

Murasakibara nodded and smiled. "Do you like them?"

"Yes!" Akashi touched each piece, picking them up as if they were delicate flower heads. "They're beautiful, Murasakibara! Thank you!"

Murasakibara blushed and nodded. "My pleasure."

Akashi set them up on the board in their home places. The pair stared at the board for a moment before Murasakibara cleared his throat.

"Akashi. I wanted to talk to you-"

Akashi held up a hand.

"Hang on."

He reached out and moved a medium tower two squares left. "Your turn."

Murasakibara smiled. He had caught Akashi's attention in his gift and this was something he could live with. For now. He stared at the board for a long moment, pretending to think of a strategic move, before he looked up at Akashi and grinned.

"So, what are the rules?"

Akashi rolled his eyes and stood up, heading over to the bedroom and returning in a moment with his cell phone. Acting out with the small instructions they found on the internet, the pair tried out their new game for the next several hours. Akashi had won every game, though they weren't sure which ones counted as official wins yet since different web sites had variations of the official rules. Akashi decided he would search for a book or manual that would have official rules in them that they could judge by later and order it, which made Murasakibara happy: it meant that Akashi had planned to play Oshi with him again, and that meant seeing each other again. For the most part they only moved the towers in one direction the number of spaces they were each permitted, until they had to forfeit the piece off the board. Murasakibara chuckled as they reached their third stalemate.

"Looks like I'm better at this than Shogi." he grinned.

"It must be the physics of the game rather than the logic." Akashi murmured, trying to find a way out of the gridlock. He scowled when he found no way out and waved his hand. "Reset this."

Murasakibara pouted. "I'm hungry, Aka-chin."

Akashi smiled and looked at the clock.

"It is about lunchtime." He stared at the iris-haired man across the table from him. "How about we go out for lunch?"

Murasakibara nodded eagerly, his hair whipping about his face.

Akashi smiled. It felt strangely good to be around his ex, though he was sure that it was because Atsushi had changed his attitude. He wondered if he would get him in trouble if he was to be sighted outside of school but the larger man didn't seem to care so he didn't bother to burden himself about it.

Akashi wrapped a red blazer around his shoulders, not bothering to put his arms through, and they left the hotel room. Murasakibara bit his tongue, reaching out to hold Akashi's hand in his. Akashi shook Murasakibara off and put his hands in his pants pockets. He could tell it angered Atsushi, but he knew it wouldn't trigger him in the same way the slap had.

"What do you want to eat, Aka-chin?"

"Oh, I'm not sure. You don't remember my tastes, Atsushi?"

" 'A place where the dessert is the best part of the menu.' " Atsushi snickered, quoting Akashi from their first dinner out. It pleased him that Akashi had the same sweet tooth he had.

Akashi smirked, impressed that Atsushi had remembered his answer word-for-word, and they took the stairs, walking down at a pace that would let their footsteps ring out. They walked out of the hotel and down the road, to where Atsushi knew there was a great dessert parlor.

Akashi felt paranoid as they walked down the road, fearing that someone would pull on Atsushi's sleeve and accuse him of skipping out. Atsushi was on his skateboard, but for once he was only coasting slowly. Akashi had never seen him boarding, and it amused him to see a man so tall be so fearless on such a deathtrap. Akashi watched as he glided, like a courageous warrior alongside him. He wondered how Atsushi would appear, flying down the streets with his lavender hair playing in the wind from his speed. It was a surprisingly short walk, and because he was distracted by his ex skateboarding, he didn't notice they had arrived so soon until Murasakibara kicked the back of the board up and into his waiting palm. To Akashi's relief they entered the restaurant without disturbance.

Murasakibara smiled and reached for Akashi's hand on the tabletop. Akashi pulled away but just enough so that only their fingertips were touching. His perfectly filed nails grazed gently over Murasakibara's knuckles for a moment before he rested his fingers on the table and sighed.

"Aka-chin."

"Atsushi. Don't do this."

Murasakibara frowned. Their waiter came over then and Akashi flashed him a dazzling smile. Murasakibara felt nausea build in his stomach and acid swell between his lips. He wanted to get up and smack the waiter and send him flying as far as physically possible from Akashi. It wasn't fair that he got that smile from Akashi, it was the same smile that Akashi used to give him. He wanted that smile from Akashi. He wanted it badly. He wanted it only for himself.

"I would love to have the chocolate fudge pie, topped with raspberries please." Akashi informed the waiter flirtatiously.

Murasakibara hid his shaking hands under the table. He forced himself to spit out an order, determined not to let the waiter get to him. He could read flirtation in the stranger's eyes as he turned and left the table, addressing Akashi only when he replied with a saucy "I'll be right back."

Murasakibara pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed in and out. His brother said this would get easier, but it only felt to be getting worse. Perhaps it would take him a long time?

Akashi waited for him to clear his head, but by that time the waiter was back and he was angry again. Murasakibara glared at his retreating back, trying his hardest to keep his temper in check enough to keep his dessert on the table and not splattered at the back of the waiter's head.

Akashi ate a small forkful and smiled sweetly as Atsushi. It pissed him off that he only was getting the decent side of Akashi, the sweet little side he reserved for teachers and parents. He rolled his eyes and took a huge bite out of the cake on his own plate, having ordered a double-chocolate devil cake with cherry filling and chocolate icing.

Akashi giggled and reached forward to finger the icing he smeared on his lips. He held his finger out to Atsushi for him to lick, and when he failed to respond, stuck the finger in his own mouth and licked the icing off himself. Atsushi felt his stomach tighten for another reason and his crotch filled with heat. He wanted nothing more than to throw the table between them out of the way. Or better, pin Akashi against it.

Akashi smiled sweetly again and Atsushi's heart melted into a puddle of heat. He wasn't over Akashi, he never was and he probably never will be. It was foolish for him to think that he could build a brick wall around his heart and bury these emotions. It was folly to even try.

"I'm sorry I brought you out for dessert." Akashi began, not meeting Murasakibara's eyes as he cut into his pie. "I know you were hungry and here I am, feeding you sugar."

"It's chocolate and cherries," Murasakibara shrugged, "It's technically food. Besides, I eat well enough every day to have a cake for lunch today."

Akashi smiled, then kept him speechless until they were done their dessert. Because it was a good day out, Atsushi proposed that they walk around a park and then head back. Akashi agreed, and Murasakibara was overwhelmed by his answer but was glad he accepted, wanting nothing more than to spend more time with Akashi. A small voice at the back of his mind screamed at him to talk to Akashi before they ran out of time together. He wasn't sure how keen Akashi was on the idea of long-distance, but he would rather have his name down and his spot taken, rather than risk someone else seeing an opportunity and taking it away from him...again.

Without giving Akashi a chance to avoid him, he took his hand in his own as they stepped out of the restaurant. His long fingers wrapped around Akashi's slender ones and warmed the smaller man's pale hand. Akashi blushed and mumbled his name, hoping in vain it would be a worthy protest, but Atsushi didn't bother to let go. He wanted to clear things up with Akashi, before they could get any more out of his control. While Akashi was still overwhelmed and getting used to this new Murasakibara, he wanted to seize the opportunity to correct his mistakes of the past and prove to Akashi that he wanted a future with him.

He guided Akashi down the street, holding the redhead's hand in one of his and his skateboard in the other. The world around them seemed brighter, or perhaps Murasakibara's appreciation for it had changed since Akashi was with him. He hadn't been able to bring up the subject in the restaurant, so he heaved a sighed and looked down at the smaller man beside him.

"Aka-chin?"

"Yes, Atsushi?"

"I-I want to talk to you about Teiko."

Akashi's smile faltered but he put on a brave face. His voice was rough. He knew it was inevitable to talk to Atsushi about the subject, since it painfully continued to come up, but he hoped that by playing naive enough the titan-sized man would eventually lose his persistency. "What about Teiko?"

"Us at Teiko."

Akashi sucked in a breath and heaved a sigh. "You know, Atsushi, I don't think that is such a good idea."

Murasakibara felt like they were back in the locker room, after everyone had left. Akashi would have been putting his clean long-sleeve shirt on after the shower – the light grey one he wore to go home. It fit him snuggly and made it harder for Murasakibara to get his words out then as well. He felt the man in him slipping down into the child he once was.

Atsushi shook his head and steeled his heart with the armor he had acquired since starting Yosen. He was sick of girls throwing themselves at him, hoping that their large chests or long curls would be enough to satisfy him into a relationship. He was sick of his team screaming at him to get his attitude in check and his head in the game. And he was sick to the point of disgust with Himuro telling stories and starting rumours behind his back, just because he found out that Atsushi wasn't interested in women. He rolled his violet eyes and gave Akashi's hand a little tug, knowing from experience just how much force to use to not hurt the smaller boy. Akashi stopped and turned, staring into Atsushi's eyes as they stood frozen on the street.

"I need to talk to you about it. Because whatever you're hearing about me now, whatever you've been told, it's wrong!" Murasakibara spoke through gritted teeth. He wanted nothing more than to wrap Akashi up in his arms and kiss him right then and there.

Akashi seemed prepared for this type of response. His eyes didn't move from Atsushi's. "Atsushi, it's alright. We both moved on, right? You don't need to pretend or try to spare my feelings."

Atsushi's eyes welled with tears and shook his head in disbelief. He wanted to slap Akashi hard and watch his face turn sharply. He wanted to see his cheek bright red to mirror the intensity of the hurt Akashi had just caused him. He wanted to make him feel the pain that his words had cut into Atsushi's heart. But he forced his shaking hands to reside safely in his pockets. If he were to harm Akashi, in any way, it was all over. His love, his life, it would all be forfeit.

He breathed in his nose and out his mouth very meaningfully and when it didn't help shake off the shivers, he held his hair back from his face and walked in a small circle. He tried to force back the tears and bit his lip, but all he managed to hold back was his sobs. Several crows bounced away from around them, leaving their food behind as they sensed the tension building. Their cawing only made him feel worse, the noise strange and disturbing to him.

Akashi watched Atsushi's reaction with curiosity. He wondered why the bigger man was reacting so strangely, but he didn't prompt for reasoning. He knew the larger man had a crush on him, feelings that he probably didn't have any closure for from back when they were Teiko students, but he was certain the man had moved on and found affection elsewhere. It really seemed out of the ordinary for Atsushi to react so confoundedly.

Atsushi choked a breath and let his hair fall into his face, his long arms wrapping around himself as if to hold himself together.

"You...you have a...a boyfriend, Aka-chin?"

Akashi smiled sweetly and opened his mouth. He hesitated, realizing he had two options: he could open his mouth and lie to Atsushi or he could tell him the truth. He wasn't sure which option Atsushi wanted to hear more: the one that would do him good in the long run or the one that would put his mind to ease right now.

He was about to answer when a pale hand grabbed Atsushi's shoulder from behind.

"Murasakibara, you shouldn't be here with that boy."

The voice was unfamiliar to Akashi but caused Atsushi's vision to flash red. He closed his eyes and began counting to ten. He knew he was dangerously close to going into the black and hurting someone again, the same way he had hurt Akira, maybe worse. Mainly because the one person he would gladly blame for this entire situation was now standing right behind him.

"What-" he hissed. "Are you doing here, Muro-chin?"

Akashi took a step back from the newcomer and his ex. He didn't like the way their conversation had turned: Atsushi was reacting rather hostilely to the new man.

A breathtakingly beautiful boy with black hair combed over one of his startlingly blue eyes clung to Murasakibara's back. He was taller than Akashi by a few inches, and was cute beyond all reasons. Akashi felt the competition between them immediately. He rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest, determined to play it cool and intimidate the boy. He might be pretty but he was no emperor.

Murasakibara shook the boy off and turned to face him. "Beat it, Muro-chin. You're not wanted here." He hated being rude to his teammate and friend, but Himuro had started it, staking a false claim.

"You shouldn't have ditched class, Murasakibara. The captain's mad at you." the blue-eyed boy taunted. "Besides, you missed practice."

Murasakibara got close to Himuro, so that his lips where just inches from his face. "I don't need you as a babysitter, Muro-chin. So scram!"

Akashi felt a thrill of adrenaline course through his body as he watch Murasakibara lash out at Himuro. He was glad he was angry with him, but he wasn't sure if it was because his appearance put Atsushi in an awkward situation or not. A shiver of excitement ran through Akashi, racing down his spine, and he suppressed the moan of desire that tried to escape his throat. Seeing Atsushi act so dominantly was thrilling.

"Why are you hanging out with this boy anyways? He's not anything to you anymore."

"Watch your fucking words, Himuro." Murasakibara warned him, dropping his friendly nickname for the man entirely, before he turned around and began walking towards Akashi. He was determined to simply walk away and continue his conversation with Akashi elsewhere, but Himuro reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Don't! Let's just go back now. He's only going to cause you trouble."

"You're the one causing me trouble, Himuro!"

"Murasakibara, please. Don't do this to me." The boy's blue eyes turned pleading. "You know how much I like you."

Murasakibara raised his fist and stuck out his middle finger at Himuro. "I don't care about you...like that."

Himuro's face contorted with anger and he turned his gaze to glare at Akashi over Atsushi's shoulder before he met the amethyst gaze of his crush. "Don't be unfair, Murasakibara. What does he have that I don't? I bet he won't even suck you off."

"Just shut your fucking mouth, Himuro! Leave Akashi alone!" Murasakibara shouted at him. He turned to face Himuro, who reached out at that moment and slapped him hard across the face, trying to dominate the man in front of the redhead in an attempt to show off his control over the former captain's player.

Murasakibara snapped. He turned and grabbed Himuro by the throat and slammed him up against the wall of a store.

Akashi took a step back. There was a murderous glint in Atsushi's eyes he hadn't noticed before. His strong arms easily held the man off the ground, and despite seeing the danger before his very eyes, Akashi found himself distracted by the large man's sheer strength. And then he began to see the larger picture of the situation, he began to see the danger that would accompany that strength, that uncontrollable strength.

"So...we're gonna fight...over this boy? Is that...how it is?" Himuro glared at Akashi over Murasakibara's shoulder. He struggled to get the giant's hand away from his throat and gasped for breath. Murasakibara glared at him, watching as the life slowly drained from his eyes, before releasing him and letting him fall to the ground.

"Stay the fuck away from me." He muttered.

Murasakibara turned and began to walk towards Akashi and stopped when he noticed the fear in Akashi's eyes. The redhead's heterochromic eyes screamed what he was thinking: he had slapped Murasakibara this morning. As he stared at the gasping Himuro picking himself up off the street with wide eyes, Akashi wondered how narrowly had he missed being crushed the same way.

Murasakibara looked over his shoulder at Himuro and back to Akashi. He put both hands up, palms out, and began taking small steps closer.

"I won't hurt you Aka-chin. You don't need to be scared."

"Stay away from me." Akashi's voice was barely a whisper. He found himself taking a step back, one after the other.

Himuro reached out and tugged on Murasakibara's hand. "Come home with me- Atsushi!"

Murasakibara's face distorted in pain. He reached out to Akashi, jerking his hand out of Himuro's reach without even sparing him a glance. "Please, don't go Aka-chin! I-I only just got you back!"

Himuro tugged on Murasakibara's arm and Akashi's eyes filled with pain. "Stay away from me!" He called as he turned and began running, tears streaming down his face. He didn't know where he was headed, but his head ached with pressure of their conversation and the sudden argument and his heart ached with the realization that Murasakibara had indeed turned into an uncontrollable monster.

Murasakibara watched him run and made to take after him. He flipped his board to the ground and had one foot on it, when Himuro's hands gripped the tail end of the board, keeping him from leaving.

"Please!" Himuro begged. "Stay with me! Choose me!"

Murasakibara screamed and jumped off the board, taking a step towards Himuro and pulling his arm back, his hand already curling into a tight fist to attack the pretty boy's face with. He didn't care if he hurt him, he wanted to hurt him for driving Akashi away, and so he didn't flinch when his arm made contact with something weighty. There was a loud, choked gurgle and Murasakibara's eyes went wide as he turned to face what he had struck, since he hadn't followed through with his punch just yet. He glanced first to Himuro, who was staring at him in shock. The pair of them glared at each other and then looked behind Murasakibara to find the body of a bloody crow lying against the pavement; it's wings were crooked and crumpled at an unnatural angle, it's legs were pointing upwards, and its face was lying in a puddle of crimson blood pooling on the sidewalk.