A/N: First of all, I wish you all a happy new year and may all your resolutions and promises come true. I hope that this year I will meet your expectations and earn your trust once more. One of my wishes is to be a bit more active and see this story reach its conclusion. I have am bringing you one that doesn't place progress in our beloved couple but it is not just another filler. This chapter I planned to have much much sooner but I ended up placing it on hold until I found it right to be published. However, this is one of the keystones of the story as it helps develop one of my character and puts another one as main character for this chapter. I hope you like it and let me know what you think.

The very same evening promised naught but turmoil that inevitably led to yet another one in line of many sleepless nights for Natsu. For the most part during his way home after escorting Lucy to hers, he was calm, filled with the silence that hid the great storm brewing in his head. Only when he reached park did it hit him and in the momentary raise of adrenaline, he found himself in desperate need to sit down, lest he falls down. It was just a kiss, but not his, no… it was hers. It was everything he tried so desperately to achieve only to be given in a moment when he was least expecting it. His ears were burning, his cheeks taking the gentle tone of scarlet and his very skin itched. If he could, he would rip it apart and escape, shouting from the very bottom of his lungs. Just five seconds… it was all there was. A single kiss that lasted five seconds, three of which he barely remembers. The way back home will prove to be a task worthy of Hercules himself.

For once, he was truly glad no one was awake by the time he arrived home. It was nothing unusual and Igneel has stopped asking questions long time ago. Knowing his own son, knowing the 'activities' he indulged himself in, every question would inevitably lead to a lie… but that wasn't the reason why Natsu was happy to arrive to silent house. No. It was due to the fact that if anyone would ask where he was, the chances of him saying the truth would be high. With a sigh of relief, he dragged himself into bed, staring up at ceiling wide eyed and waiting for the first yawn that would lead him to sleep. Alas, none came and he was left alone with his thoughts. For thousand times he rolled same scenario over and over, reliving that one memory that gave him no peace. How many girls did he have? How many succumbed to his charm that screamed 'bad boy'? One? Two? Ten? More? How many moaned into pillows with his lips pressed upon soft skin of neck? Many. It was not a secret and Natsu never truly wished it to be one. Like majestic peacock, he flaunted with his accomplishments like they were beautiful feathers, ascertaining his dominance among men and sparking interest in women. Innocence was not his trait.

And yet, he felt like a boy from elementary school who kissed girl for the first time. It wasn't even first kiss with Lucy… It is not even first kiss on her lips. Was it really because she kissed him? He played that memory once more… trying to remember every single detail of it. Her lips were soft… the gloss on them had the thin taste of strawberries and the perfume of her skin was anything but gentle. Robust… yes… that is best way he could describe it. Strong, feminine, mixed with the natural scent of her skin and the soap she used for bathing… a mixture that invaded his nose. And then… then there were her eyes… big and brown like two chestnuts that despite everything that happened that evening, despite everything that happened in her life, still looked at him with untainted purity.

His hand lightly reached up and touched lower lip, gently tugging it down. Despite all that he witnessed, he still had trouble believing that it happened. At any point he expected to wake up, to push this into back of his head as a wishful moment. Slowly he sat up, leaning against bedpost and looking out through his window. A smirk appeared on his face, realizing that he has been defeated… completely and utterly defeated by a single girl who in just five seconds managed to do what none other did so far… And he has laterally been inside of all of them. Well… all but one. How can I screw this up? He asked himself with a grin. If history is of any indication, it was only matter of time before he manages to do something incredibly stupid. Oh wait, I already did that. He let out a silent chuckle, eyes still fixated outside, watching clear sky filled with stars. Of all the girls in college, in Magnolia, in Fiore… of all the girls that actually gave themselves willingly to him, knowing fully well who he is and what he does, he chose one girl he knew well would bring troubles in his life. He clearly promised friendship and support but deep down he knew well where it is going. It was not secret; he announced his intentions quite well and without any room for interpretation.

Were there really no other options? Was this inevitable conclusion to a countless decisions made prior to this point? Cause and effect? Was this something he could have avoided? Of course he could; of course he could've dropped everything and be with girl that said yes, rather than playing ice princess. Fairy Tail is not exactly a place populated with empty-headed girls whose sole reason for being here was to enter some sorority or club and sleep their way toward diploma. While there were always those, Fairy Tail, in fact, attracted those young people who had vision for their future… chances of meeting someone smart were high… So how come it was Lucy that bumped into him? If he wasn't late that day… would any of this happen?

As time passed he realized that he is glad it happened the way it did, even if it wasn't the best course of action. If he pursues Lucy, if he aims relationship with her, there will be issues. Issues with time, issues with constant interference from unpredictable occurrences that will damper their progress and the very fact that what little free time she has, she will dedicate it to her studies and daughter. At the end of day… if he receives 2% of her time, it will be a miracle. It will be one very complicated relationship. Hard fact was, he will get a lot more attention from any other girl; some will dedicate 100% of their time to be with him. After graduating, they will be around, following Natsu's climb to the very top. But… they are not Lucy. All she needed from him… was a person she can lean against, someone who will be there to give her a moment of rest before the entire ordeal starts again. He promised that, he promised that he will lift her from the ground when she falls, he promised to be patient and wait until the time she is ready but it was now clear as day that waiting will be filled with anguish. That one kiss changed everything. He laughed, lifting his hands up and holdings his face… he laughed in his palms at the realization that millions of other girls cannot fill the space that Lucy did create with just five seconds. It was now beyond doubt, beyond any possibility to deny… He was sure of it, as sure as he was that his name is Natsu Dragneel. He was sure…

He is in love…

That night, he didn't sleep. Instead, he patiently waited for everyone to wake up before he will leave his room. As of late, Igneel caught up on this trend, and even though he suspected there was something wrong, he didn't want to pry into it. Knowing his son, there wasn't much he will be able to find out unless Natsu decides to tell on his own. Truth be told, Natsu was itching to actually talk with his father about some things but he had slight issues initiating conversation on that topic. One particular message managed to give him a bit of courage. Due to unpredictable circumstances, Lucy had to cancel their 'movie night' that she agreed upon. The only thing Natsu could say to this was "Oh thank God…" It was first time he was truly happy to not go out. He wouldn't know what to do.

"Dad, you got a minute?" He asked as he entered his father's work-room, closing doors behind him. Igneel seemed to be consumed in daily work but that could wait. He glanced over to Natsu, slightly surprised at choice of words. It wasn't new for Natsu but that particular order of those words meant that something was happening to Natsu. "Of course. What seems to be the issue?"

"It's not an issue, no need to assume that." Natsu quickly defended himself but only managed to fuel already growing spark of interest in Igneel.

"Well…" Man said, placing down his pen and removing glasses from his face "You don't exactly come, bearing those words unless there is something you need." Igneel smiled as he watched Natsu approach and sit down on a chair.

"I am working on it." Natsu replied, returning a grin that soon vanished as he remembered reason why he came "How hard was it to raise me?"

"Oh? We are back on that topic?" Igneel asked, lightly raising his brows. No answer came but it was enough for man to gather all he needs from the silence. Natsu rarely spoke about it… it was as if he purposely wanted to forget that part of life and any mention of period with his mother was met with a deep frown. Igneel knew why. That period has left its mark and Natsu did all he could to not be reminded of it but his father knew that one day he will need closure. His eyes briefly fell down on the desk papers lied unfinished. He loathed leaving job unfinished but this time he gladly put it aside, just for chance to speak about things that he knew were coming.

"You were not difficult child. Complicated? Yes… mischievous, sometimes absent-minded, often hot-headed, incredibly stubborn but not difficult. Your mother, may she rest in peace… she was the one with the plan." Igneel took a short pause, enough to lean back on his chair and cross arms. His gaze was focused up in some unidentifiable point between wall and ceiling as memories rushed before eyes "She never panicked. From the first day we suspected she was pregnant to the point of your birth… she had everything under control. Me? I was just there for a ride."

"You weren't there with her?" Natsu asked.

"No, I was, but your mother was the one who held reins. She had everything planned out. What house should we buy, how often to visit doctor, what hospital to go in for labour, school that you'd get in. There was always incredible enthusiasm coming from her whenever she talked about it. I was just nodding my head. Don't get me wrong, I was overjoyed but… everything took me as a surprise. Life just slapped me across the face and brought the reality with it. I always had a plan for future but in that one moment, everything felt too real and I had to think about tomorrow. I just graduated I had to find job as quickly as possible. Fortunately, your grandfather pulled some strings and his friend accepted me as his assistant."

"When did you and mom got married?"

"Soon after. It was unconventional for someone to get pregnant before marriage so there were some hardships with your grandfather… but he couldn't deny me." He took a small paused to inhale deeply. The smirk on his eyes vanished completely "I worked hard to be man of the house, provide everything that woman needs during pregnancy. What little time I had free, I spent it with your mother. She never stopped planning, never stopped dreaming… right up until the last day."

Natsu's expression quickly turned somber. Talking about his mother was not something he liked and hearing Igneel talk with such passion quickly filled his heart with sadness and regret. Other than pictures on the wall and his dad's desk, there were few memories that Natsu had of his own mother.

"How did mom die?" Natsu asked. The growing suspicion that boiled for years needed to be released "You said she died peacefully in her sleep. What caused it?"

Igneel sighed heavily. His voice trembled lightly as he exhaled "Cancer." His lips were pressed hard and teeth bit inside. Natsu was better. Breath got stuck in throat and his fingers dug into palms as he listened. "It started sometime around your third birthday, but we didn't catch symptoms until you were four. By that time, it reached metastasis. Doctors gave her six month…"

"What about chemo?" Natsu looked up, shooting a sharp gaze straight at Igneel's eyes "Some people get better."

"Yes, they do." Igneel nodded slightly but his voice was calm and low "But it wouldn't have cured her, only extend her life for a little bit. Your mother… she refused."

"Why?" Natsu inquisited, grabbing arm-rests of chair with body leaned forward.

"Natsu, chemotherapy is poison injected in your veins. The process is painful, life-draining. She didn't want to leave this world bedridden and weak." Igneel continued, with posture leaned forward, elbows planted firmly onto the wooden board of his desk and fingers interlinked. Even Natsu could see pained face that his father had. "I wanted her to live a bit longer too but… she was adamant about it. Every night I prayed for just one more day and every morning she was there to give me strength. She had strength for both of us."

Natsu released arm-rests. His fingers were white and cold from the sheer force he put into the grip. Slowly, he leaned himself back again, running hand through his hair. He wanted to cry, he wanted to let tear out and just scream it out… but nothing came. That feeling, that he isn't sad enough to cry for his own mother, has been etched deep inside his mind and he dreaded it, loathed it with every drop of his blood… but he needed more.

"What happened after?"

Igneel sighed once again. Natsu saw well that Igneel struggled and was tempted to ask again, but instead, he chose to leave his father to filter through memories and collect himself. It wasn't easy, that much he was absolutely certain about.

"I cried. Day after day, I would go to cemetery and look at your mother's tombstone, trying to figure out what to do now. The hole she left was difficult to fill and soon, I began panicking."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't know what to do. Your mother was one who was raising you, one who looked after you from dawn until dusk but now… it was time for me to raise you all by myself and honestly… I did not know what to do at first. All I knew was to raise you the way my father raised me, and he was very strict man when it came to my behaviour. You kept crying for your mother and I did not know how to soothe your pain."

"Was it that bad?"

"For me? Horrible. I completely lost myself in everything, having job and then having to raise you. I was no longer assistant but I had small office of my own and in hopes of balancing everything, I took you to kindergarten while I was at work. Couple of months later you entered your rebellious stage."

"What did I do?" Natsu asked, intrigued by the term rebellious that Igneel mentioned.

"Nothing uncommon for children of that age. Drawing on wall, refusing food, refusing to go to kindergarten, doing exact opposite of what I told you to do. You laugh all you want now, for me it was a terrifying experience."

"So how did you handle me?" Natsu inquired, subduing his chuckle, briefly remembering drawing on the wall of living room.

"Barely is the only word that comes to mind. Fortunately, around that time a very peculiar person walked into my office."

"Let me guess…" Natsu interrupted Igneel, lifting his right index finger and then pointing at his father "Gran?"

"Yes." Man answered with a soft chuckle "Grandine was in the middle of very difficult divorce and her previous lawyer has dropped the case due to his own personal reasons. I still remember her that day… she was desperate, completely emotionally drained and just wanted it to end. Unfortunately she had little money and she hoped that our old sweetheart days would still account for something."

"So you did it for free?"

"I would've done it even if we weren't dating. Regardless of the circumstances that caused us to walk different paths, she was still my dear friend. I accepted the case."

"And you started dating again?"

"No no. I mourned your mother's death for a year as tradition dictated. That and… well… I wasn't exactly ready to be in any form of 'relationship'. But… Grandine helped me immensely by giving me advices about you."

"Do you remember any?"

"Yes, actually." Igneel paused momentarily, crossing his arms "I remember when you stopped eating just to protest against me. I called Grandine and asked her what to do. By that time she already had Wendy and I hoped that she will have some advice on how to 'handle' you. Advice she gave me was to leave food by on the table. Just when you thought I was asleep, you'd sneak out and lick entire plate clean. In the morning you said you threw it out."

Natsu let out a small chuckle, feeling tension in his stomach slowly easing.

"Day after day, we started talking more… exchanged stories from time of our separation… She was there to guide me through your stages and I was there to help she asked. I felt guilty…"

"Why?"

Igneel's cheerful expression turned sad again as he looked at Natsu "Because old flame returned. She was still that beautiful woman I remember. Shy but strong, cautious but determined. Countless times I asked myself if I am doing right choice by allowing myself to be close to her again. What would your mother say? Would she approve? It was a very conflicting moment for me, having to choose between staying loyal to your mother and moving on with life and doing my best to raise you… and I just couldn't do it alone. Funny thing is… she felt same, unsure whether to continue where we left off or focus entirely on raising Wendy."

"I don't remember about her before she got here." Natsu added, trying to put all the pieces of puzzle into their place. He started feeling the weight of story as he continued listening, understanding why Igneel didn't want to talk about it. In retrospective, Natsu hadn't had trouble moving from one girl to another and as sole opposite, his father still had loyalty toward his deceased wife.

"She came few times, though you didn't want to stay long near her. You preferred being in your room." Igneel explained adjusting his glasses to be a bit closer to his eyes "We didn't start living together as we are now for years. Original idea was for you and Wendy to adjust. Unlike you, Wendy had no problem adjusting to me but you and Grandine had… issues."

"Yeah I remember…" Natsu added in low tone, remembering the night Gran slapped him across face.

"Our biggest concern was not if you will accept Grandine… we feared that you might reject Wendy."

"Why would you think that?"

"I was afraid that you might reject her. That you might mistreat her or believe that she is there to replace you. Beyond my expectation, you accepted her rather quickly. She looked at you like your brother, you saw someone you needed to protect… But you still couldn't accept Grandine. And it culminated in one moment."

"I remember." Natsu interjected, scratching base of his head as uneasiness washed over him "I remember saying screw you, you are not my mother."

Igneel's eyebrows rose as he watched Natsu speak about event "Is that what you remember?"

"Yeah." Natsu replied but the way Igneel spoke made him curios "Why? Did I say something else?"

"You filtrated things you said before…"

"What did I say?" Natsu asked again, leaning once more in anticipation.

"What you said, word for word, was You only pretend that you care about me. Then you proceeded to say your famous line."

"I don't remember that…" Natsu said in low, almost defeated tone. His heart dropped down, felt like it melted its way through his stomach and fell right between his feet.

"I don't blame you." Igneel added "What you didn't know is that from the very start, she did care about you. And she still does, not one bit less. She only slapped you once because you managed to hurt her deeply. Natsu, you are my son and I love you but I am glad she did, because if she didn't I would've bent you over my knee and show you how my father used to lecture me."

"In retrospective, maybe you should've…"

"I wanted to. Despite her slap, I still wanted to punish you for your words… the only reason why I didn't was because she asked me not to." He stopped there, taking a deep breath and holding it in for few seconds before exhaling through the nose. "You also don't know that after that, she came here. Right in this room… and sat over there." His hand rose and he pointed at the corner where bookshelf was located. "She sat there and cried for hours."

Natsu's eyes darted back toward his father. His throat felt as if it was clogged by a boulder that wouldn't go down no matter how many times he swallowed. He knew his step-mother to be a lot of things but most of all, she was woman who always smiled, who was always polite despite Natsu being 'tolerant' of her at best. He saw that she tried hard to be close to him with no success, all due to his effort. This… this brought new light into the matter and he felt another stone in his body… it was located in stomach and he knew what it was carved on it. Guilt.

"Once you stormed into your room, crying your eyes out, she left too. I knew she was here because I could hear her cry from outside. She was sitting down on the ground, hugging her knees and crying. She apologized for about thirty times, telling me that she didn't knew what happened. It was just a heat of the moment and she snapped… no matter how much I tried to console her, she wouldn't stop crying… all because she hit you, even though she tried her best not to be your mother, but to be someone you can come when you need help. In response… you ignored her for months. Didn't even want to look at her. I think that hurt her most."

"I am trying to fix that… I just hope I am not too late."

"It is never late for apology." Igneel quickly added "For better or worse, she is responsible for becoming who you are now, not me." Natsu's eyes danced on his father, trying to understand the meaning of the words but he didn't need to wait long to know what they meant "I knew how to be strict father, to prohibit you from doing something foolish but it was her who defended you. She was one who sent you to school and welcomed you back. She was one who prepared your food, washed your clothes and checked if you were covered at night. Do not mistake me, you cannot begin to imagine how much I regret that your mother is not here to see you grow up into a man… but I won't pretend and say I could have handled it on my own… I panicked. Literally panicked at the realization of having to raise you on my own. Grandine was one who gave me strength to keep moving."

"Do you remember your first game?" Igneel asked and Natsu nodded "I couldn't make it. You know who did?"

"I know." Natsu said in defeated voice "I saw Gran sitting on bench."

"Did you know that day Wendy had recital at school?" Natsu just waved his head to the question, not knowing what to say "She didn't go to her own daughter's recital just so she could come to your game. For years she tried to find a way and earn your forgiveness. Now if I was in her place… I love both you and Wendy but I believe I will choose you first… After all you are my son. She chose other way around."

After that, long silence ensued… one that neither wanted to break. Natsu had his eyes focused down between his feet, looking into one spot, remembering all the moments he purposely avoided his step-mother. He couldn't shake that one feeling that kept looming over him and fact was… he behaved like an ass. For a moment, he tried to put himself in her place and realized that he wouldn't try so hard over someone like him… but she did.

"There are a lot of things I chose not to tell you, Natsu. Not because I wanted to hide them from you but because I knew that you had to grow up in order to understand them. One of them is that raising a child on your own is painfully difficult. Some manage to accomplish that, make it look easy. Others don't. Those who fail often end up break family even more than it already is. I needed someone to lean against, someone who will give me strength to… well… swallow your mischievous phases and I am willing to be that half of them I still don't know about."

"Because Gran hid it from you?" Natsu asked, lifting his gaze to look at his father who just nodded.

"You are grown man now and I always trusted your judgment. I can't say I agreed with it, but I trusted it because I know you are, after all, my son. In the end you always find your path." Words easily reached pinkette and he smiled, feeling the rush of encouragement. "I won't ever ask you to see Grandine as replacement for your mother… no one will ever accomplish that. What I am asking… no… what I am begging you... is to at least appreciate the effort she put in helping you find your path."

"I will dad, I promise." Natsu said with nod as he stood up, followed closely by his father's gaze "I'll try to fix mistakes."

"I know you will." Igneel concluded, offering a brief smile as he watched Natsu leave room. Heavy sigh followed as he leaned his head back against the chair, trying to figure out this entire situation. Despite Natsu's attempts to make this look spontaneous, Igneel knew that this had something to do with his friend Lucy. He has been mentioning her often lately and with what he knew, there was some connection.

Silence fell heavily inside room, only the sound of clock was heard. There was still work to be done but he allowed himself a moment of rest. Heavy burden that pulled his shoulders down has suddenly fell, and next deep breath felt like he was free man, breaking out of shackles that held him down for years. His hand reached up and he pulled a small framed picture that was on his table. There were two figures… one was him and the other was his deceased wife.

His thumb lightly caressed the glass over the photograph and he whispered "I hope I am meeting your expectations…"