A/N: I will admit, this one was not easy to write because it mirrored events that I had to go through. Not my best of moments but... that is life. As always, let me know what you guys think.

"One more lap!" Elfman bellowed from top of his lungs. Incorrigible grumpiness incarnate stood at the center of field, carefully guiding his students as they practiced. His eyes caught every move, every twitch and every mistake they made when they attempted to execute his strategies that made him into legend he is today. Sun was shining, day was warm, perfect. Despite Elfman's own dedication to go through every exercise himself, not a single droplet of sweat appeared on his forehead. Gray, on the other hand, was another story. He had good stamina, long-lasting and always ready to burst out. It was something he could boast about but today was another story. His mind was absent, constantly losing focus on almost every task he was given and because of it, he had to push himself twice as hard and twice as fast just to break even. Every time he looked at Elfman's face he kept noticing unusual, and one might say unnatural, expression. His lips were constantly curved upward and despite rigorous demands he placed upon players, he was radiating happiness around him. Seeing his sister marry made a very strong and lasting impact on him.

"Alright that's enough! Wrap it up and hit the showers!" He bellowed once more. Man never needed megaphone for anything; even last row of bleachers could hear him as if he was standing just a meter in front of them "Fullbuster, come here for a moment!"

"Right, coach." Gray nodded as he jogged toward professor. His guts started twisting, predicting what Elfman might ask him.

"Have you seen Dragneel?"

"Sorry coach, I haven't seen him since wedding day." Gray lied, swallowing hard lump of rock. After they parted that morning, he has not spoken to him once "He's probably sick. Man is notorious for not being easy drunk."

Elfman snorted, further rising curves on edges of his lips. It is too late to pretend that he himself is any different. During the 'private celebration' that was held after the wedding, he didn't behave as dignified man would… unless one counts ripping shirt open and crying in front of everyone. Then again, seeing Mirajane in snow-white wedding dress is not something one can endure with heart of stone. He allowed himself that moment and he felt not one bit less of a man than he was before.

"Alright. Next practice is this Friday, I expect you two to attend. Student Olympics are approaching and I don't want anyone slacking off for preparations. Don't forget, important people will be watching."

"Yes, coach." Gray nodded, wiping seemingly endless stream of sweat from his forehead "Professor… about that offer…"

"Hm?" Elfman rose eyebrow, folding arms "Ah yes. And?"

"I would like to take it as an option." Gray responded somewhat nervously.

"You're a good athlete." Man nodded, tapping Gray's shoulder. It was meant to be a light tap but the massive weight of the arm made Gray feel as if he'd topple over. Elfman was clearly not aware of his strength "Your grades are good too. Just make sure you graduate and I'll write you a recommendation."

"Thank you, professor."

"No need to. Now, showers. Off you go!" Elfman ordered. For him worst parts are over, but for Gray they were emerging from horizon. During this practice he received no less than three bruises, all due to his lack of attention… Wise man would've blamed himself. Wise man did not have friend like Natsu.

"You were brilliant as always." Wavy blue hair suddenly appeared on Gray's shoulder as he left the locker-room. Anyone else would've been startled but not Gray, never Gray. This was not a surprise, this was tradition.

"Were you watching my practice again, Juv?" He turned head to look at her. Her lips lightly pressed against his cheek, luring a faint smile from him "You do realize you don't have to, right? Don't you have to practice with swimming team?"

"All of my practices are after classes. Afternoon, remember?" Juvia responded, still hanging herself on the shoulder of her beloved "They are scheduled by team captain."

"Juvia…" He turned head a bit more to catch her eyes "You are team captain and you rearranged every practice so you can watch me during trainings."

"Priorities." She said with all bluntness she could muster, pride brimming from her every blue lock. Gray realized long ago that any argue with her is pointless. Whatever she decides is the absolute truth. He found some solace in this but it also came with a price. They know each other well enough to recognize even the slightest shifts in mood… and Juvia was everything but blind to plague that roamed freely inside Gray's mind. "Will you tell me what's wrong?"

"Wrong?" He asked, trying to feign ignorance "Nothing's wrong. Don't give me that look, it was just one of those 'bad sleep' nights. Come tomorrow I'll be good as new. Now don't you have a class to attend?"

Juvia was reluctant to leave Gray out of her grasp, but he had a point. Bell rung for the second time and students were making their ways toward classroom. The knot in his stomach kept clenching at the very notion of having to lie, especially to Juvia. He wiped his forehead again and looked down at palm. Moist. This entire situation was unsettling, urging Gray to feel more and more anxious and it was not even he who needs to worry about his ass being in the crack.

"Gray?" Voice came from behind him once more, prompting man in question to instantly twitch and snap out of his thoughts.

"Lucy…" He said as he turned around, letting long sigh of relief "You scared the crap out of me."

"Sorry." She apologized to which he waved hand dismissively "Do you have a minute?"

"Sure… um…" His head looked around, realizing that hallway is emptying quickly "Don't you have to go? Class is starting."

"I just got out of last one for the day. Am I keeping you from something?"

"No, just didn't want to keep you from... uh…" Anxiety was now in full swing. Lucy was last person he wanted to see today and for good reason. She has questions, it's written all over her face… questions he has answers to… questions that must not be answered "Don't mind me, I'm rambling. Anyway, what's up?"

"Have you seen Natsu?" Lucy asked. Much to Gray's expectation she had worried expression, clenching straps of her backpack tight "I haven't seen him since wedding day and he does not respond to my calls."

"Natsu?" His fears came to realization "Oh, don't worry about him."

"Is he alright?"

"He's sick." Gray lied once again, feeling that rock trying to find its way back up via throat "Plenty of alcohol, minus the shirt and you get sick Natsu. Cold."

"So much that he can't even pick up his phone?" The worried expression just got worse and her innocence made Gray's situation worse by the second. He had to continue this intricate web of lies.

"Look, guy is many things. Quick, cocky, prideful and big baby when it comes to being sick. Last year when we were visiting Crocus, he moaned for three hours while we rode the bus and spent next two on the toilet, begging for mercy or death. He likely didn't even notice missed calls."

"Right…" Lucy let out long sigh of relief, her white fingers finally received bit of color once blood flow was reestablished. It was not much but at very least she could trust close friend of Natsu. She chuckled "It's funny. A month ago I would've given half of world just to see him to stop bugging me and now that he's not around… I feel like I'm missing something."

"Yeah, Cupid is weird that way." Now it was Gray's turn to chuckle. Guilt was beginning to eat him from the inside. Thrice he had to lie, thrice he had to deceive and with every word uttered he felt more and more dirty. Worst experience was with Lucy, whose concern was impossible to hide as she stood before him, genuinely worried for a guy whom she let into her life and who so easily managed to deceive her fragile trust without her even realizing it. There was only one logical course of action right now - perpetuate the lie.

"Should I go see him?" She asked, voice uncertain and waiting for permission.

"No I'll do that." Gray quickly interjected, swallowing hard "No offense meant, of course, but I know him. He wants to be superman, look invincible. Seeing him in bed, pleading for early death will shatter that illusion and make him feel worse. He'll recover in day, two days at most. It won't be long before he starts chasing your leg again like a horny dachshund."

Lucy once again chuckled, mostly due to the mental image that Gray managed to implement. It looked like she took the bait. Not only that, she even thanked him for what he is about to do, oblivious to the events that transpired. He was starting to hate Natsu for having to do all this. Then again, Natsu had his back God knows how many times in the past… to betray him now would be to betray years of friendship. Dammit… he cursed silently as he moved out of the main building. He hated this, truly did, but it was not only Lucy who lost contact with him. Truth be told, Gray himself started to worry if something happened to Natsu, though given past experience it was likely that guy shut himself in his room and refused to come out.

No doubt he'll ask about Lucy… Gray thought, pressing doorbell button. Solid wooden doors swung open a few moments later and short girl stood to greet him "Wendy, hey." He smiled down at her "Is Natsu home?"

"He is but… ummm… he is not feeling well." She responded with thin, worried tone "He barely eats…"

"Yeah I know what he's suffering from and unfortunately there is no cure for it." Gray added as he walked inside. Wendy's eyes widened at words, face drained of color. Wide smirk appeared on young man's face "I am afraid your brother is suffering from idiotitis. Be careful, it is contagious and there is no cure for it."

"You scared me… jerk!" Wendy protested, punching Gray's shoulder lightly. He didn't need much more than that to proceed upstairs, considering how often he visited Natsu, it was almost as if he was part of the family. Igneel, in particular, viewed this with mild approval… though old man was not keen on their numerous misbehaving. Still, he knew that friendships formed early are often kept for life and in cruel world of modern society… allies are best capital one can possess. After a brief moment of hesitation, Gray knocked on wooden doors of Natsu's room.

"I'm not hungry!" voice came from the inside.

"Really?" Gray smirked "The restaurant is going to be disappointed if I cancel it now. And here I thought to take you out for dinner, make it all romantic."

Lock clicked twice, unlocking the gates of the fortress but it was Gray who opened and closed them behind him. Room was dark, blinds covered windows. He expected a mess, remnants of tornado that passed through and left rubbles in its wake… but there wasn't one. Room was still neat with exception of bed on which Natsu was lying down, holding arm draped over his eyes. Entire room reeked of depression.

"Huu…" Gray frowned as he took few sniffs "When was last time you let fresh air in here?" There was no answer, not a sound, not a somatic response. If he didn't know better he'd think Natsu fell asleep. "Coach was asking about you."

"Yeah?" Thin voice responded "What did he ask?"

"He asked if I've seen you. He didn't say much other that we shouldn't miss Friday's practice. We have big matches coming up and I'm guessing few opportunities to get scouted."

Once again silence fell between them. Usually news like this would send Natsu into state of thrill but now… now he seemed as if world can end tomorrow for all he cared. The very sight of it made Gray nauseated "I also spoke with Lucy."

There was finally a response. Palm shifted enough to reveal only Natsu's right eye, staring nervously at Gray who sat down on chair. Without saying much else, Gray picked Natsu's phone and looked at screen "Three missed calls and one message… Huh… You know if things were other way around we'd be looking in low hundreds. This girl really knows how to respect boundaries, unlike some. You're not really sick, are you?"

Pink hair waved.

"Figured. What will you do? Stay here until the rapture?"

"I don't know…" Natsu said, voice barely audible. He sat up, leaning arms against his elbows, staring at some unidentified point at the floor. It was a visage of a desperate man, cracked and worn out from sleepless nights spent thinking about every scenario possible… and without seeing single one where he is in any way victorious. Eyes snapped and he looked up at Gray "I just… don't know how I can face Lucy and pretend that nothing happened."

"Well good news is she doesn't know yet."

"Yeah, I know." He groaned and growled, frantically scratching his head and messing up already ragged pink locks "I worked… so hard to let go of my old habits and be this guy who cares more about what other person thinks about me. Half of the contacts in my phone are gone just because I did not want to be reminded of all the girls I slept with."

Gray lightly raised his brow in expectation. He had the 'privilege' to witness Natsu's metamorphosis in past months but he never expected him to be this conflicted about anything… much less a girl.

"The worst part about all this is that I willingly accepted simple fact that there is no backup this time, no checkpoint to which I can return and continue my life as if nothing happened… because that's what I always did. I had my fill, depleted all the fun I could possibly squeeze out of someone and just revert to point where I can do it all over again with someone else. At some point I willingly threw away that and I willingly accepted the fact that this might be that one, great thing… that she could…" he paused, swallowing saliva hard enough for even Gray to hear "That she could be my Juvia."

Gray was speechless. He knew Natsu to be many things but eloquent only ever came to him in moments of lucid honesty. It was a brutal revelation of Natsu's feelings because he could not even begin to count how many times he was mocked by Natsu for his relationship with Juvia and his own seriousness with her. Natsu knew that Gray was serious about her, he did not hide how he felt or that he sees themselves in the future… but he never expected this naïve idiot to think that far ahead, to see someone as deeply and affectionately as he saw Juvia. Gray cursed, silently, realizing that all anger he felt for him has vanished like a drop of water on hot pan.

"Okay… Tell me how things ended between you and Lisanna."

"Dude, I told you-"

"You told me things didn't work out." Gray interjected "You told me that by the end of it, things crashed and burned but you never told me why."

Deafening silence once again set between them. Like every other time, Natsu was reluctant to cut open that scar and spill everything out. Three times he was asked in the past and all three times he refused to utter anything else but 'I do not want to talk about it'. This time, he was sure to get answers.

"Things between me and Lisanna were never all that brilliant." Natsu started, palms connected, rubbing one against another as he remembered past events "We laughed, we argued, we were happy and then we were angry… Everything that a couple has, we've seen it and tanked through it believing that it is best way for any couple to grow stronger. Thing is, at the time, I was a bit more… pushy."

"I thought you said you two were not shy about it."

"No, that's not it." Natsu waved head, biting inner lip hard almost to the point of it rupturing "You never knew me to be jealous type, Gray. I always thought… what did I have to be jealous of? I'm in top shape, I have good future, grades are not bad… if things go wrong with a girl, I will just try with another one." Gray nodded to this, though Natsu could use less self-boasting attributes in moment like this. Pinkette continued "But… with Lisanna I was always jealous. There was always a moment where I would look over my shoulder, try to spot that same face that would follow her and… uh… she thought it was cute at first. As we progressed in relationship we grew more affectionate, started thinking ahead, plan what college we would attend, what to do after. High school was nearing its end and… I sort of became even more clingy."

"You? Clingy?" Gray asked in pure disbelief. He knew Natsu since childhood but he never seen him behave in such fashion with Lisanna… at least not in front of Gray. It was a genuine surprise for him.

"Yeah. I became suspicious of every friend she had, every guy she talked to… I became paranoid, fearful that some other guy might swoop down and snatch her away. And that's where things started to turn bitter. It was no longer 'cute', now it started to bother her and she told me that. We talked, calmly at time and she always assured me that nothing is going on but… I still had my doubts. I decided to give it a shot, thought that… it's just in my head and that I should trust her more but… she kept being way too 'friendly' with one of her friends."

"Who was he?" Gray asked after Natsu made a long pause in his story.

"You remember Mest?"

"Mest? The guy who transferred into our class?" Natsu nodded "He always seemed alright to me."

"Well… I just could not stand it. I watched her talk with him during the breaks, over the phone, kept sending texts all the time. Hell, when we went on a date once, she spent more time replying to his texts. I was… slowly cooking on the inside, didn't know what to do or what to think… you have to understand back then it all seemed as if it is crumbling right in front of me and there was nothing I could do."

"Was she cheating on you with him?"

"No…" Natsu waved head "Not yet."

"Yet?"

"Thing is, one day I just could not longer stand it and decided to talk to Lisanna. She… took it badly, though in her defense I did accuse her of sleeping with him. I'm not innocent, I know that but I did not know what to do…. I was way past boiling point and then we started arguing, loud, on the street no less."

"How did it end?"

"Bad."

"How bad?"

"Very… I don't know where she went after it but I ended up at Sabertooth. Back then when Sting and Rogue weren't running it yet, it was easy to get drunk regardless how old you were and I used that chance to get pissed drunk. I know what you are gonna say, Gray, it does not solve anything… I know… but things I said to Lisanna… I just wanted to forget, all of it. And I did! With some… help." Natsu sighed deeply and leaked back, dropping onto bed, gaze locked on ceiling. Gray did not need any context.

"Oh god… who was she?"

"Sherry. We met at bar, started talking. She was complaining about something or someone… I don't remember and uh… we had one too many drinks. Next thing I remember I was in her room and… in her."

"Wow…" Gray exclaimed shockingly and with short chuckle "Last time I saw her she was going out with Ren… didn't know you'd hit it off with her."

"Well in my defense at the time she was very cute and I was on my tenth shot of vodka and who knows what else. I do not remember anymore. Next morning we kind of came to conclusion it was best never to tell anyone about it."

"Well good for you." Gray's sarcasm was sharp as ever "Seeing as this is the first time I hear about you and her. Any other girl you failed to mention?"

"No, just her. Anyway… I panicked. I was beyond myself and did not know what to do so… déjà vu, I came home and spent next three days in room much like now, trying to figure out a way out of that mess. I still loved Lisanna and the fact I cheated on her was… devastating. So I called her and we met at café… started talking. I swear, every second I spent there sitting in front of her felt as if I'm drowning. She did not like it either and my resolve finally snapped and I confessed what I did. Everything, every second of it as I remember it."

"And then hell was unleashed…" Gray added but instead of confirmation, Natsu simply waved head.

"No. She just listened to me, looking with those big blue eyes of hers… I felt so guilty I failed to realize that she felt the same and…"

"And?"

"And then she told me." Natsu chuckled "Turns out, while I was there, having drunken sex with Sherry, she found solace in Mest and were not one bit less creative than I was."

"That… I don't know how to respond to it." Gray sighed deeply, rubbing his face as he listened in pure disbelief. Natsu's eyes were still filled with pain and guilt and he once again felt the same sting in his stomach… the pain he thought was forgotten, managed to emerge to the surface and with full intention to strangle Natsu in guilt.

"We sat there… in silence… trying to cope with what other said. She was hurt because I was so quick to jump into another girl's bed and I was devastated because my fears turned out to be true. We saw no way out, no way we can just go over it and continue as we were. We decided that it was best way is to simply cut our losses and end it there."

"It did not go well… did it?" Gray asked quietly. Up until now he simply observed Natsu without any specific focus, however once he looked carefully he noticed a single droplet sliding down from corner of Natsu's eye. This was a bad idea.

"No…" Natsu responded in whispering voice "Eleven years… we've known eachother for eleven years, four of which we spent together and it all went down crumbling in just… two weeks. That's all it took, Gray. Just two weeks to see it all crash, burn and turn to ash. We said nothing, not a word, not 'goodbye', not even a glance over shoulder. We just stood up, turned around and walked away from that table. I haven't seen or heard from her since… until few days ago."

"What happened there?" Gray leaned a bit closer toward Natsu. There was still two meters separating them but he wanted to make sure not a single word gets lost "How did two of you suddenly ended up in bed?"

"I thought that… everything that happened in the past is buried, gone. I thought that it will just be a formless ghost but… when I saw her, Gray… when I saw her stand before me, different but still the same…" Natsu slowly sat up once again "I thought I'd see a girl whose hands are enveloped around some other guy's neck but… all I could see is same Lisanna I knew all those years… my Lisanna. From that point on things went downhill at breakneck speed. Every bad memory, every insult tossed, it just all disappeared. I could not even tell the truth about Lucy. Don't ask me… I don't know what I was expecting or if there was any expectation at all… maybe… maybe some form of affirmation, spark of old hope that things could've been better. And then… then it just started happening, I felt defenseless, weak, succumbing to every bad advice I gave to myself."

"Son of a bitch…" Gray cursed once again "Started with a cheat and it ended with a cheat. You reached full circle... I hate you Natsu. I came here to beat your ass senseless but even now you manage to find a way to deprive me of most basic necessity."

"Nothing I don't already know." Natsu grinned slightly at those words.

"It's becoming a cliché you know… you doing something stupid, me standing beside you with a lecture ready."

"Well I'd do the same but… you don't succumb to stupidity as easy as I do." Natsu commented, prompting Gray to let out a snort and amused chuckle.

"Thing is… You made a parallel." Gray sighed once again "You compared yourself to me and Lucy to Juvia, but that's not the problem. Problem is in way we see them. You see, Natsu, in order for me to be with Juvia, in order for me to trust her implicitly, I needed to come to terms with one simple fact. I cannot feel toward any other girl what I feel toward Juvia. You can laugh, you can mock, you can throw juvenile ridicule but the reason why she trusts me is because she knows just how much I love her and how much I trust her… Sure, we argue but at the end of the day, no matter how mad she is, no matter how upset I make her, I always end up staying beside her. Even if she doesn't want to at times. That way, I know that ghosts from the past cannot haunt me. My question is… which one is your Juvia?"

Long pause ensued once again, far too long for Gray's comfort… but it was necessary one. Gray saw it, in Natsu's eyes and every fidget he made… a struggle, not one to choose between two people, but one between two different mindsets. Natsu's greatest enemy has always been his own determination, a specific quality that allowed him to achieve anything he wanted. That same determination also proved to be detrimental to him. Right now, he needed to use it once again, put it on right tracks and build momentum. The silence was long.

"I made a mistake last time." Natsu spoke, voice more decisive "I won't make it again."

"So what will you do?"

"Nothing." Pinkette suddenly snapped his head and looked straight into Gray's eyes "I allowed myself to fall into despair and because of it I lost something… something I thought I would not ever be able to regain. Now I got another chance and I'll make sure not to squander it… and I'll treat her the best way I can."

"But who?"

"Lucy." Natsu nodded. There was still fear in him worm of doubt that refused to be expelled "Lisanna will go back once again, I'll make sure they don't meet and… after that I'll do all I can to never allow that scenario to repeat itself."

"And are you sure you won't be tempted?" Gray chuckled, amused but also content to see old Natsu taking over control of his brain.

"No, I'm not. I won't lie to you, Gray… I do not think I'll ever stop feeling what I feel for Lisanna… But I also feel that same thing for Lucy too. All I have to do is put all of me into this relationship and I won't ever have to worry about ghosts of the past."

"That's good." Gray nodded "Yeah, that's good but you are not yet ready to meet Lucy."

"Why not?"

"Because you reek… and I mean you literally reek."

"Right, right… shower first."

"And, Natsu…" Gray stood up from the chair, making way toward the door, ready to leave "Next time you ask yourself how I manage to endure Juvia being so clingy to me … Trust me on this, it drives me crazy at times… but the same thing you are going through right now, I went through myself. That realization you just had… that's the same one I had long ago and it drives me to this day. It's not all about feelings… a great deal of it is about choices we make."