Well, here's the next episode, at last! Apologies for the long wait... but I've been procrastinating :P
d~b
Episode 7
Two-and-a-half Men and a Baby
It was an early Friday morning as our protagonists awoke to another usual day in Paradise Towers. Pugsy was the first to wake up in the mornings, often getting up as early as 6 in order to enjoy as much solitude in the morning as he could; Flip would be the next to get up about an hour later, drowsily getting dressed and eating breakfast before heading off to school; and Shaggy would be the last one up, sleeping in as late as 7:30, until Pugsy would barge into his room and claim if he didn't get up that minute, he would be walking to work.
Though, what they didn't realize was that their weekly routine would have a slight change that weekend.
It was after Pugsy got up, getting some coffee to help wake himself up, and sitting out on the balcony, breathing in the fresh air. On the balcony next door there was a masked figure, standing on the edge epically as he glanced over the city. ...Pugsy only arched an eyebrow, nodding to the stranger who nodded back. He had seen the masked figure around before, but never really introduced himself- namely because the figure would vanish in the blink of an eye, as he did the moment Pugsy looked out at the sunrise then back over.
He walked back inside, sitting down on the couch and turning on the television. By this time, Flip was getting out of bed, groggily walking over, yawning as he sat down at the island-counter, resting his head on his arms. "Morning," Pugsy said to him.
"Mmfin'..." Flip mumbled, still trying to wake up.
"Ah, wake up, Flip- it's Friday. Just one more day until you get to sleep in,"
"Yeah..." Flip only yawned again.
Pugsy walked over, starting some toaster-waffles, looking at the 12-year-old suspiciously. "Did you stay up all night playing The Last of Us again? You're usually half-awake in the mornings,"
"No, no... just been up... studying..." Flip's head hit the counter with a soft *thunk*, and he began to snore.
Pugsy rolled his eyes, then reached under the counter, pulling out an air-horn.
*Bleeeep!*
Flip jolted awake. "Gah! Alright, I'm up! I'm up!" he snapped, breathing hard. "Sheesh, Pugs, do you have to do that every time?!"
"Only with Shaggy," Pugsy replied with a shrug.
Speaking of Shaggy, the lanky coward came walking in. "Man, Pugs, what's with the wake-up call? I still had another half-hour to sleep in!" he groaned.
"Ah, let it go. You need to start getting up early, anyways, rather than waiting on me to get your rear out of bed for work,"
"Don't you have an alarm-clock, Shaggy?" Flip asked.
"Yeah- it's in Pugsy's hand," Shaggy replied, swiping the air-horn from Pugsy.
"Pardon me for being the responsible one," Pugsy scoffed, walking into the bathroom to get ready for work, handing Flip a plate of waffles.
"Like, I hope we get on a later morning schedule..." Shaggy poured himself a bowl of cereal, sitting across from Flip.
"I hope Fall Break gets here soon," Flip replied, yawning again.
*Knock knock knock*
"Who could that be?" Shaggy asked.
"I don't know... maybe Uncle Ted got locked out while getting the paper again," Flip replied, walking over to the door and answering it. "Yes? ...Um, hello?" he looked up and down the hall, not seeing anyone around. "Huh, must've been a ding-dong-ditch..."
There was a cooing sound just then, and he looked down, his eyes widening.
"Um... Shaggy? Come over here, quick!"
Shaggy walked over. "What is... it...? Zoinks!" he gasped.
"Who's at the door-" Pugsy began to ask, walking over as well, stopping in his tracks. "...Leaping ignorpotomases!"
Sitting on their doorstep in a little basket was a tiny baby, who looked up at them, cooing once more.
"Like, how'd a baby get on our doorstep?!" Shaggy gasped.
"A better question would be, who the heck would leave a baby on a stranger's doorstep?" Pugsy replied.
Flip walked out, checking around the halls for any trace of whoever left the baby behind. "No one's around... Do you think it was abandoned?" he asked.
"We'd better call the police," They picked up the basket, bringing it inside.
d~b
"Yes, I'd like to report a child-abandonment," Pugsy said over the phone, while Shaggy sat on the floor with the infant, and Flip was getting ready for school. "...We don't know, there was a knock at our door, and when we opened it, we just found it there. ...Yes, I'll hold,"
By this time, Shawn K. came over, Zippy at his side. "Morning, guys. We were wondering if you wanted to come with us to a comic-con this we-" Shawn began to ask, until they noticed the baby. "Huh?"
"Oh. My. Gosh..." Zippy gasped.
"Don't ask questions- we just found the kid on the doorstep this morning," Shaggy said quickly.
"It's so CUTE!" Zippy walked over, sitting in front of the baby, tickling its cheek and making him giggle. "Who's a wittle cutie-pie? You are! Yes you are!"
"Alright... Yes, I understand. Thank you." Pugsy said, hanging up the phone and sighing. "Well, they said they would call around and keep us posted, but suggested we watch the kid in case someone turns up looking for it. If no one comes around in 24 hours, they'll call Child Services,"
"Wow... so someone just abandoned this little guy?" Shawn K. asked, stunned.
"Who would leave behind such an adorable little muffin?" Zippy asked, cradling the baby in her arms.
"Zippy, could you not talk like that? You're scaring me," Shaggy said, not used to seeing Zippy so... sentimental.
"So, what should we do?" Flip asked.
Pugsy looked at the clock, seeing it was already after 7:30. "Well, first of all, you should head to school." he replied, then rubbed the back of his neck as he looked down at the baby. "Though, how Shag and I are supposed to head to work is a problem..."
"I could watch the baby for you," Zippy volunteered.
"YOU?" All the guys questioned.
"Why not? I used to babysit all the time before I moved here. It's my day off anyhow," Zippy then looked back at the baby, nuzzling it's cheek. "Plus, I don't think I could resist spending a day with this cute little squink! No- no, I couldn't! No I couldn't!"
"I can help out, too, just to make sure Zippy doesn't do anything crazy- I mean, doesn't do too much work," Shawn added, as he and Zippy walked over to his own apartment.
"Alright, well... we'll be home at noon. Call if anything happens," Shaggy replied.
"We're going to have so much fun!" Zippy cooed to the baby. "We'll go shopping for some tiny little outfits for you, and buy you some squeaky toys, and we'll introduce you to classic cartoons from the 90's..."
Shawn K. shut the door, and the guys all sighed, looking at each other as they got their things together. "You think they'll be okay?" Flip asked.
"Like, it's just one little baby, Flip." Shaggy told him as they all walked out and down the hall. "How much work could it be?"
d~b
12:00, Noon.
Shaggy and Pugsy walked down the hall to Shawn's apartment after work, knocking on the door before entering. "Hey, Shawn, we're here to pick up the ba-yay-yay... by." Pugsy gasped, looking around the apartment.
Tiny infant toys were scattered around, there were a few food stains on the carpet, a few clothes strung here and there, and Bubble Guppies was loudly playing on television. "Zoinks! What the heck happened here?!"
Ted walked in, carrying the baby. "Oh, hey guys! Shawn was wondering when you'd get back," he said.
"Ted, what happened? Your place looks like it got hit by a tornado!"
"Oh, just a little mess. Kiddo here kind of started crawling all over the place- Zippy had a heck of a time keeping up with him! Tried to tire him out with a little piggy-back..." he looked over at a chair, where Zippy was passed out, sleeping. "Though, I think it backfired,"
"Where's Shawn?" Pugsy asked.
"He's still in the bathroom. When it came time to change the squirt's diaper, he got a little green in the face. I managed to take care of it, though- not the first time I had to take care of one of these little squeakers, and I doubt it'll be the last!"
Shaggy took the baby, while Pugsy gathered up a few things their friends had bought for the infant. "Well, thanks... and um, tell Shawn and Zippy we'll make it up to them," he said, looking around the ransacked apartment once more.
"Will do!" Ted rubbed the baby's head. "See you around, little guy!"
Pugsy and Shaggy walked back to their apartment, moving the coffee-table and couch back a ways so they could spread out a blanket for the baby to crawl on, setting him down with his toys. "Just one little baby- how much work could it be?" Pugsy quipped, reciting Shaggy's line from earlier.
"Alright, so these things tend to get into a little mischief." Shaggy scoffed. "But we shouldn't have any troubles for the rest of the-"
"Waaaaaaaah!" The baby began to cry, making the two men jolt.
"Zoinks! What did I say?!"
The baby continued to cry, and the duo tried to get him to calm down. "See the toy? Want the toy?" Pugsy said playfully, wiggling a toy in front of the baby, but it didn't seem to work.
"Does he need changed again?"
"I don't know, check!"
"What?! No way, man! You check!"
"Waaaaaaah!" The baby continued to cry.
"Hold it! I think I know the problem!" Pugsy said, then picked up the baby, who seemed to quiet down long enough for the stocky young man to listen to his stomach, hearing it gurgle. "He must be hungrified. Here, you hold him, I'll make a bottle," he handed the baby over to Shaggy.
The lanky young man rocked the infant in his arms to try and keep him calm, as well as himself. "Like, that makes sense... I'd cry too, if I missed a meal," he chuckled, sitting back down on the floor with the infant.
Pugsy came over with the bottle, testing it on his arm to make sure it wasn't too hot, then handing it to the baby, who began to guzzle it down. "There, that should calm him down for a while,"
Shaggy looked up at him. "Since when were you good with kids?"
"Since I had to help Fangs babysit his cousin... only, I'm hoping I don't end up as some baby-wolf's chew-toy,"
Once the bottle was empty, the baby let out a yawn, lying down on the floor, falling to sleep. Shaggy covered it with a blanket. "I just wonder who could have abandoned him. Poor thing,"
"I'll say. I'm going to head back over to Shawn's, see how he's pulling through,"
Shaggy gave him a look. "What?! You're leaving me with the baby?!"
"Relax, he's asleep! And I'll be back in a few minutes anyhow. Just keep an eye on him," Pugsy then walked out.
Shaggy scoffed, then began to pace. "Figures- every time we have a kid around, I'm stuck watching them! ...Ah, well, it's only until the police get a lead. Things aren't so bad- it's quiet, Zippy's asleep, Pugsy will be back soon, and the baby's missing."
He sat down on the couch, relaxing a bit...
Shooting back on his feet when he realized that last part. "THE BABY'S MISSING?!" he looked on the floor, seeing that the infant had vanished! "Zoinks! Where'd he go?!" he looked around the room, searching behind the couch, under pillows and blankets, searching under the beds, the refridgerator... even checking the bathroom, looking in the toilet! "Here, baby baby! Come out come out wherever you are! You don't want Pugs to hurt Uncle Shaggy, do you?!"
He heard giggling outside just then, and his hair stuck up.
"THE BALCONY!" He ran out, looking over the edge, leaning far over as he searched. "Oh man... where is he?!"
The baby, who was sitting under a chair on the balcony, crawled over behind the lanky young man. "Ga?" it cooed.
"ZOINKS!" Shaggy gave a jolt, falling over the balcony, though hung on with two hands. He gasped, looking over at the infant. "Don't DO that! Sheesh!"
The baby only giggled.
"Oh, you think that's funny?! Well, just wait until I put you in time-out, then we'll see who's laughing!"
The baby turned, crawling back inside, playing with its toys.
"Oh, c'mon... don't leave me hanging!" Shaggy then looked down by mistake, a rush of vertigo coming upon him, and he gulped, trying to swing his legs over.
The baby then crawled out of sight, making him panic.
"Hey! Kid! Come back here! Oh man..." Shaggy groaned, then sighed. "I deserve this... this is all because I accidentally flushed my goldfish, Kevin, down the toilet! He went to Heaven, and now my life is bad!" he looked up at the sky. "Are you happy now, Kevin?! We're even now!" he bowed his head, whimpering a bit.
"Shaggy?" came a voice.
Shaggy looked back up at the sky. "KEVIN?"
Pugsy stepped out, being the one who spoke (not the late-goldfish). "What the jumping ignorpotomases are you doing?!"
Shaggy whimpered again. "Like, it's crazy man! One minute, I'm just sitting down, then the baby's missing! I looked all over, came out here, fell over the edge, and he crawled back inside... and now he's gone again!"
Pugsy arched an eyebrow, helping him back up. "What are you talkifying about? He's right there!" he pointed over at the chair in the living room, where the infant sat, playing with a rattle. "Geez, Shaggy, I think you panic too much."
"But he... then I... and... and..." Shaggy sighed heavily, rubbing his face. "I'm going to go buy some aspirin..." he then walked out.
Pugsy shrugged, picking up the baby and walking out. By this time, Zippy was awake from her own nap. "Oh, hey Pugs... when did you guys get home?" she yawned, stretching.
"About half an hour ago. I heard the kid here wore you out," Pugsy said to her, then held up the baby. "If I knew that's all it took to quiet you down, I'd have adopted a baby years ago!"
"Very funny, Pugs." They walked towards the elevator.
Unbeknownst to them, Robotnik, Horace, and Scratch had been around the corner, overhearing them! "So, Pugsy's got a baby now, huh?" the villain said with a smirk.
Horace let out a gasp. "I didn't even know he was married! ...You think it's too late to buy them a gift?" he asked.
"The baby's not his, stupid! Didn't you hear him? It's adopted!" Scratch snapped.
"Oh... but, why would he want to adopt a baby? He's already got Flip living with him!"
"Who cares where the baby came from!" Robotnik snapped. "All it means is that I've got reason to kick that oaf and his comrades out! Having a baby around means an increase in their rent... and if they're harboring it, I can use it as grounds to terminate their stay here!"
"Gosh, Robotnik, isn't that a little harsh? Kicking them out when they have a baby to take care of..."
"Yeah, and I never seen or heard them with the baby before- maybe he just got it today, and is planning on telling everyone," Scratch added.
"But we don't know that! He could have had that baby since the day he moved in for all we know- we just need to catch him and his friends in the act of hiding an infant, and soon those menaces shall be out of my hair!" With that, Robotnik stormed off to scheme.
Horace blinked. "But... you don't have hair..." he questioned.
d~b
"How about Peter?"
"No."
"Ezra?"
"No."
"Joshua?"
"No..."
"Russel Brand?"
"No!"
Zippy shook her head. She and Pugsy were sitting outside, watching the baby crawl around on a blanket in the grass. "C'mon, Pugs, we can't just keep calling him 'the baby' or 'kid' or any cute, bubbly nicknames. We should give him a name, that way we have something to call him,"
"We can't name him, ZIP. He already has a name- if we gave him a new one, it'll just discombooferate him," Pugsy noticed the baby trying to crawl off-screen, and picked him up and set him back on the blanket.
"But we don't know what it is! ...For all we know, whoever abandoned him never gave him one,"
"Yeah, but we're not going to keep him- we're just watching him until the police either find out who he belongs to, or send a service-agent to take him to a new home."
Zippy sighed, rubbing the infant's head. "I hate it when that happens..."
A woman walked by just then. "Aw, what a cute baby!" she said, sweetly. "What's his name?"
Zippy shrugged. "We're still debating on it,"
"There's nothing to debate..." Pugsy hissed.
"Oh, I understand. My husband I had trouble coming up with baby names ourselves." the woman replied, and the baby cooed, smiling at her. "Such a sweetheart! You two must be so proud,"
Zippy paled and Pugsy's eye twitched. "Whoa! Um, actually, he's not OUR baby- we're just watching him for the day!"
"Oh, sorry about that! I assumed a baby this nice belonged to a nice couple like you,"
Zippy paled further. "We're not a couple, either..." she told the woman.
"Oh, my mistake! Well, I'd better hurry along, before I make a bigger fool of myself!" With that, the woman walked away, giving them a wave.
Zippy began to walk off. "Where are you going?" Pugsy asked her.
"To repress some serious nightmares I had just now..."
d~b
Flip came home from school later that day. As he walked through the lobby, Robotnik strolled up to him. "Ah, hello there, Flip," he said, casually. "Might I ask you a question?"
"Sure, what is it?" Flip replied.
"Is there, ah, something in your apartment you'd like to discuss?"
Flip paused, thinking. "Actually, there is..."
Robotnik clicked on a tape-recorder. "Yes?"
"The bathroom sink keeps backing up. You think you could have one of your handymen come up and check it out? ...We'd do it ourselves, but last time we tried to fix something, Shaggy lost his eyebrows."
Robotnik blinked. "Um, is there anything ELSE?"
"Well, we need to replace the carpeting. Shaggy says that cherry-syrup stain in the middle of the floor won't come out, and it's giving him nightmares."
Robotnik began to grow impatient. "What ELSE is in your apartment?!"
Flip thought. "Hmm... that's all I can think of. Thanks for your concern, but I've got a lot of homework to do. See ya!" he then headed over to the elevator.
Robotnik turned off the tape-recorder. "Drat..."
Flip held open the elevator doors. "Oh, and we're taking care of a baby, too!" he then let them close.
Robotnik flinched and turned, but Flip was already halfway up to the next floor. "Double-drat!" he shouted, smashing the tape-recorder on the floor. "Grrrr... that's it! Time for a more sneakier approach!"
d~b
Flip walked into the apartment, seeing Shaggy lying on the couch, the baby sitting on his stomach, both of them watching television. "Hey, Shag. Where's Pugs?" the twelve-year-old asked.
"He had to take a shower, so I'm left in charge of pipsqueak here," Shaggy replied, then gave the baby a suspicious look. "And this time, I'm not taking my eyes off you for a minute, you little Houdini!"
Flip arched an eyebrow. "Having a bit of trouble with the baby?"
"Like, don't ask."
Flip shrugged, putting his book-bag down and picking up the baby, sitting him on the blanket on the floor. "I can watch him for a minute, if you want,"
"I don't know, Flip... he's quite a handful- he even wore out Zippy and Shawn!"
"I think I could keep up with him," Flip turned to the baby, who was playing with his toys. "What do you think, squirt?"
*Thonk!*
The baby threw a toy block at his head, giggling. "Ow! ...Okay, someone's got a pitching-arm. How about playing with your rattle?" Flip shook the rattle, handing it to the baby. "Here you go-"
*Whack!*
The baby hit him with the rattle, still giggling. Flip rubbed his head, then grabbed a squeaky-hammer. "Here, that's not for hitting, this is." he hit a small plastic block with it. "See? Hit the block, not my head,"
*Squeak!*
The baby hit him with the hammer, now laughing. Shaggy was trying to stifle a laugh himself.
"I'm beginning to see the pattern here..." Flip deadpanned, then gave the baby a soft, plush lamb. "Here, play with this." he then stood up, walking across the room...
*Whump!*
The stuffed lamb hit him in the back of the head, and the baby laughed. "I think he likes playing with you, Flip!" Shaggy chuckled.
Flip picked up his bookbag. "Ha ha. Why don't YOU play with him a while? I have to write a three-page report on Sherlock Holmes for school, and I have a lot of research to do," with that, he went into his room.
Shaggy shrugged. "Alright, I'll let you know when it's time for dinner," he looked over. "Looks like it's just you and me again, squir- what the...?!"
When Shaggy looked over, the baby was once again missing!
"Zoinks! Not again!" He then proceeded to look around the room... noticing the front door was open! He quickly ran out to the hall, where he saw the baby crawling into an open elevator, the doors closing. "Yikes! Hold that elevator!"
Too late. With a *ding* the elevator started going down. Shaggy raced like a maniac down the stairs.
On the ground floor, the baby crawled out to the lobby... where Robotnik was at his desk, a donut sitting on a plate next to him, as he scribbled down ideas for his scheme. "Security cameras? ...No, already have them installed in the hallways, and it's bad enough Ted keeps making goofy faces in them! ...Tape recorder is still busted... I don't have them on Fakebook, so I can't virtually stalk them..."
While he was pondering loudly to himself, the baby reached and grabbed his donut, munching on it. It looked out the glass doors, where a large bus was, and a man and his dalmatian dog were boarding. The baby excitedly crawled over, managing to slip through the door when Jasper opened it, reading a magazine as he walked.
Shaggy managed to get down the stairs, just in time to see the baby crawling onto the bus! "Gah! Stop!" he cried, racing out the door.
Jasper arched an eyebrow, but shrugged and turned to Robotnik. "How go the plans, boss?" he asked.
Robotnik sighed. "Slow. ...and for some reason, I feel as if an opportunity escaped me!" he replied, then reached for his plate, his hand grasping nothing. "And if I don't come up with one soon, I'll surely... wait, what happened to my donut?"
d~b
Shaggy raced after the bus as it rolled down the street, pushing by people, leaping over benches, and swerving around poles in order to keep up. "Wait! Stop the bus! Unattented child on board!" he called, but the bus was starting to get farther and farther away.
A kid was riding by on his bike, and Shaggy stopped him. "Hey! What're you-" the kid was saying.
"Sorry man, I gotta borrow this real quick!" Shaggy hopped onto the bicycle and sped away like crazy, ignoring the angry shouts from the kid. Pedaling as fast as he could go, he raced after the bus, as it went down another street.
Shaggy paused, seeing the traffic was in a rush, and the bus pulled into a turning lane. Feeling he would have to cut it off, he quickly took a short-cut...
...through a skate-park.
Shaggy yelped as he flew over ramps, dodging skaters who shook their fists and yelled curses at him; he cried out when he ended up in a large tunnel that caused him to shoot out into the air; and he screamed as he landed on a half-pipe, balancing the bike on it and riding down the slant of it at top speed-
*Crash!*
Going through a fence!
Meanwhile, the bus pulled up at one of its routine stops, the doors opening as passengers filed out... unaware of the baby crawling amongst them, going down the sidewalk!
Before the bus-driver could pull away, Shaggy swerved the bike, crashing into the doors! Startled, the bus-driver opened them. "What the heck are you doing?!" he demanded.
"No time to explain, sir... did a baby get on this bus?!" Shaggy asked, looking around the bus, but saw no sign of the baby.
"I didn't pick up any passenger with a baby."
"He was by himself!"
The bus driver only gave Shaggy a look, and closed his doors, driving away and leaving the lanky coward in a panic. "Oh man, where could he have gone?!" Shaggy looked around, looking up the sidewalk, then in the other direction seeing an infant crawling along, then looked across the street...
Doing a double-take when he looked back over, seeing the baby was heading for the most cliche place a baby could crawl into: a construction site.
"Zoinks! Not the Construction Site Cliche!" Shaggy ran forth after the baby. He looked around... and gasped.
To his horror, the baby had crawled onto a beam that was being lifted to the top of a building under construction!
Now, if you guys know your cartoon history, you pretty much know what will happen next. Shaggy knew it too... but couldn't risk letting an infant wander around heavy machinery in a hazardous location and get hurt.
Taking a deep breath, Shaggy ran in. "This kid owes me BIG time!"
He ran up to an elevator, taking it to the floor where he saw the beam was heading. He then raced along the other beams towards it, seeing the baby waving to him. He reached the edge, sticking his hand out, trying to grab the baby...
(I wonder if cartoons ever pondered to just go up to one of the workers and tell them, "Hey, there's a kid up there! Stop everything and get him down!" rather than risk breaking their necks trying to retrieve it themselves... but then again, if they did, we wouldn't have a good dose of humor, would we?)
"C'mon, little buddy, lets get you home before Uncle Shaggy ends up in a cement-mixer!" Shaggy begged.
The baby stood, wobbling a bit, about to fall off the beam!
"Whoa!" Shaggy lunged, grabbing the baby before he could fall, then set him down on the constructed floor. "There, safe and sound."
...As he looked down, however, he noticed that- while grabbing the baby- he had stepped off the beam, and was just standing in mid-air!
"Oh no."
*zip!* he shot down.
"AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!"
*Crunch!* He landed rear-first in a barrel... full of nails.
Pain contorted on his face, and he shot up into the air! "YEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWW!"
*Bonk!* His head hit a beam. He fell and landed on a levitated beam, dazed and walking along it...
Dropping off onto another beam connected to the building, stepping over the edge, and landing on top of the elevator, face-down.
As the elevator went down, the baby crawled over on top of it as it passed, sitting by Shaggy. When it stopped, the baby scooted off once again. Shaggy groaned, lifiting his head, seeing the baby was heading across another constructed floor, bumping into a stack of paint-cans that were beginning to wobble.
Shaggy yelped and dove into action, shoving the baby out of the way-
*SPLOT!*
The baby giggled. A construction worker came by just then. "Hey! What do you think this is, a daycare center? This ain't a place for kids, bub!" he told Shaggy, handing the baby to him. "You'd better be more careful!"
"Thank. You." Shaggy muttered.
d~b
Pugsy stepped out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of jeans, and rubbing his hair with a towel. "Hey, Flip, where's Shag?" he asked, seeing the twelve-year-old at the computer, doing research for his report, but didn't see any sign of Shaggy or the baby.
"I don't know, maybe he took the baby for a walk," Flip replied.
The door opened and Shaggy entered- covered in paint, bruises, and bumps, yet the baby in his arms didn't have a scratch on him.
Pugsy's eyes widened. "Shag! What the leaping ignorpotomases happened to ya?!"
Shaggy only scowled, handing the baby to Pugsy. "Do me a favor- stop taking long showers!" he sneered, then walked into the bathroom to take a shower himself.
Flip and Pugsy only exchanged looks, shrugging in confusion.
d~b
Robotnik paced furiously. "There has GOT to be a way to catch those hooligans in the act!" he muttered to himself. "If I'm going to be rid of those numbskulls, I must come up with a plan to expose their secret!"
Uncle Ted happened to be coming along just then. "Hey, Robotnik, what's with the pacing?" he asked.
"I'm trying to figure something out, beat it!"
"Oh, geez, I was just asking! No need to get hot-headed- you're not the only one with troubles, y'know. Shag, Pugs, and Flip have a baby to take care of,"
"I don't care about-" Robotnik froze, then turned to Ted. "Wait, you know about that baby?!"
"Oh yeah. Cute little feller, reminds me of my nephews when they were that small. The guys are doing great handling him, too- only heard the kid cry once today! They must be keeping him happy,"
"Really?" Robotnik couldn't help but smirk. "So, they're keeping a baby with them, huh?"
"Yeah, just for a short time though. Shawn said something about them calling the police about finding the kid a new home or something like that."
"I see... Well, Ted, nice talking to you!" Robotnik then shoved Uncle Ted towards the elevator. "I have some things to do now, goodbye!"
"Okay, see-" Before Uncle Ted could finish, the doors shut on his face.
"So, they plan on giving that baby away, hmm? That troublesome trio must've figured I'd be on to them sooner or later, and decided to get rid of the child for their own sake!" he paused, smiling. "If I didn't hate them so much, I'd be tempted to let them stay!"
*0*0*0*0*0*
Taking care of the baby during the day was one thing.
Night time was a whole different story.
The guys managed to get the baby to sleep around 8:30 that night, allowing the infant to sleep in a playpen (which Shaggy insisted they buy, 'for some reason') in the living room, so that if the baby started crying, they could take turns checking on it.
"You think he'll be alright?" Flip asked in a whisper.
"Sure, he's had a busy day. He might sleep the whole night," Pugsy guessed.
"Lets hope," Shaggy said with a yawn, as they each headed for their own rooms.
12:05 AM
The baby started crying. Pugsy was the first to hear it, groggily sitting up and looking across the hall, seeing Shaggy was asleep still. Sighing, he stood up and walked over to the baby, finding it was hungry. Warming up a bottle, he fed it, rocking it to sleep. By the time he was done, it was almost 1:30, and- too tired to head back to his room- fell asleep in the chair.
3:03 AM
The baby awoke, having a giggling fit. Flip awoke, tiredly walking out (seeing Pugsy still asleep in the chair) and picked it up, trying to rock it back to sleep since it was his turn... though the baby kept hitting him with his teddy-bear, which aggravated the pre-teen as he was trying to sing it a lullaby. "Rock a bye (ow) baby in the (ouch) tree top, when the bough (oof) breaks the cradle will (oh)..." he mumbled. After twenty minutes of hitting Flip with a stuffed animal, the baby was worn out, falling back to sleep. Flip put him in the playpen, though couldn't make it back to his room and instead fell asleep on the couch.
4:35 AM (this kid doesn't sleep much, does he?)
The baby awoke, crying once more. Pugsy and Flip both woke up, seeing the infant needed changed. After a quick game of 'rock-paper-scissors', Pugsy was left to the task, though he had Flip stand by to hand him the items needed and discard the dirty diaper.
Once they put the baby back to sleep for the third time that night, they went into Shaggy's room, wondering how the lanky young man never heard the baby cry...
Finding he was sleeping with his headphones on!
*WHUMP!*
Pugsy had flipped the mattress over, making it- and Shaggy- fall on the floor. "Hey! What the...?! What gives, guys?! Are you trying to wake the baby?!" he demanded.
*Whack!*
Flip chucked a pillow at his face, and he and Pugs left the room, heading back to their beds.
*0*0*0*0*0*
It was 6:00 AM when Pugsy had to get up for work. He went over to the coffee pot, ready to fill it with water... but, as tired as he was feeling, he dumped out the water and poured in a can of Red Bull to mix with it instead.
There was a cooing sound, and he looked over, seeing the baby was awake again. "Well, look who's up," he said to the infant. "Guess the sandman skipped out on you last night, kid. Surprising you have enough energy to wake up this early!"
The baby only giggled, holding up his arms, wanting to be held.
Pugsy rolled his eyes, but picked up the child, holding it in one arm while pouring himself a cup of Red Bull/Coffee in the other. "You sure are a lot to handle, do you know that? Tiring everyone out, making a mess, driving Shaggy insane... you just like picking on everyone, don't you?"
The baby giggled, then snuggled against him.
Pugsy gave a soft smile. "Okay... maybe not everyone," he cleared his throat, setting the coffee down and holding the baby up with both hands. "But don't think that sucking up to me will get me to spoil you. If you think you can get away with everything, think again! You ain't the first kid I had to take care of, and I happen to be a disciplinarian!"
The baby only cooed, then hugged him, nuzzling his shoulder.
Pugsy sighed, patting it on the back while smiling. "Ah, you got me... But I'll only take it easy on you because you're a guest,"
"How come you never talked like that to me?"
Pugsy looked over, seeing Flip was awake and watching him! "Well, for one thing, you live here- second, you're 11 years past-due. ...What are you doing up this early, anyhow?"
"I heard the baby giggling... I guess I just got used to waking up every time he made a noise," Flip yawned. "Besides, it's Saturday- I can sleep later, after I catch the morning cartoons,"
Pugsy rolled his eyes. "Right. Since you're up, why don't you take squirt here into the living room with ya, while I get breakfast ready?"
"Okay... but if he hits me with one more toy, I'm outta here," Flip took the baby to the living room, turning on some cartoons for both of them to watch.
Pugsy then took a drink of his energy-coffee... and his hair stuck out and his pupils shrunk, and he coughed a bit. "Too... strong..." he rasped, getting a drink of water.
Shaggy walked in just then, drowsily. "Man... how can anyone sleep with a baby around?" he groaned.
Pugsy gave him the glare of death. "Well it's not easy living with you, but I manage,"
Shaggy only sneered, pouring some coffee while Pugsy made the baby a bottle. Shaggy took a long gulp...
Pugsy handed the bottle to the pre-teen. "Here, Flip, give this to the baby,"
"Here you go," Flip said to the baby... who squirted him with the milk first, laughing. "Okay, this is getting old."
"Don't worry, hopefully we'll get word soon. I'll go fix some... breakfast?" he had turned, arching an eyebrow. Flip followed his gaze, a bit shocked as well.
Shaggy, full of energy, was moving about the kitchen at top-speed, making pancakes, waffles, bacon, toast, eggs, and pouring glasses of milk and orange juice, and even rapidly cleaning up the dishes... all in ten seconds flat! And he was still filled with energy! "Breakfast!" he exclaimed, then ran across the room. "You guys enjoy, I'm going to take a run real quick!"
Zippy stepped in through the balcony just then, carrying a parachute. "Hey guys, how's-" she began.
"Hi-ZIP-bye-ZIP!" Shaggy said quickly, then grabbed her parachute and shot over the balcony!
"HEY!" Zippy ran/dived after him.
Pugsy and Flip blinked. "Um... no coffee for me, thanks." Flip said.
There was a knock at the door just then. Before they could go over and open it, Shaggy burst through! "Police are here!" he said, hyperactively, bolting around the room.
Pugsy walked over to the door. "Um, can I help you, officers?" he asked, seeing it was Sam and Max (Freelance Police).
"Yeah, we've been on the trail of a real nasty kidnapper, The Rake." Sam said, holding up a picture of the Creepypasta. "Apparently he tried stealing the commisioner's cousin's daughter's son, and was last seen with it in this apartment building."
"Here's a photo of the little cretin," Max said, holding up a picture, which happened to be of the baby!
"He's right in here! Someone left him on our doorstep yesterday morning!" Pugsy said.
"Ha! Well, what do you know, Max? We were 10 floors off!" Sam exclaimed. "We've been trying to find this little guy, ever since we got finished beating the ever-living tar out of that creep!"
"What took you guys so long to search?" Flip asked.
~Quick Flashback!~
We see The Rake slithering down the hall, gasping. "Those psychos just don't give up- I was sure those saw-blades would have ended them!" he said to himself, then dropped the baby in front of a door and knocked. "I'll just drop the kid off here and come back later!" he then shot down the hall, taking the elevator.
When he got out, he was slithering past the stairs-
"FREELANCE POLICE!" Came Max's shout, and he and Sam dived from the top of the stairs and tackled The Rake, leading to a very graphic brawl.
By the time the dust cleared, The Rake was in need of a blood transfusion. "Oops, I guess we went too far with 'police brutality' again," Sam said.
"How far? Did we break our record from last time?" Max asked.
"Must... get... away...!" The Rake groaned, shooting out the door.
"There he goes!"
They ran out, hopping in their Desoto. "Looks like he's heading for that club run by that one famous, iconic mouse!" Sam guessed.
Max gasped. "They made more Chuck E. Cheese's?! When will the madness end?!"
"Just put on your seat-belt, you yut." With that, the Desoto shot down the road.
~End Flashback~
"...By the time we caught up to him, it turns out a fan-club beat the rest of the snot out of him." Sam finished. "When he reformed, well... we just beat him up all over again. The guy was practically crying by the time we sent him into another dimension."
"He made for an excellent chew-toy, too." Max added.
The others just blinked. "O-kay..." Pugsy said. "Well, we contacted the police yesterday about the kid, and they've been trying to find a lead on his parents."
"We'll contact them for you, no need to go through any trouble," Sam said.
"Yeah, that's OUR job!" Max exclaimed.
*Thud!*
Everyone looked over, seeing that Shaggy's caffiene-high wore off, and he crashed on the floor.
d~b
By a quarter to 7 AM, a couple policemen and the child's parents showed up. "Oh, thank you so much for taking care of him!" the mother said, tears in her eyes as she hugged her baby. "I thought we'd never see him again!"
"Ah, it was no trouble," Flip replied.
"Yeah, no trouble at all," Shaggy repeated, while holding an ice-pack on his head.
"Doesn't it all give you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside?" Sam asked Max.
"I thought it was that old sandwich I found crawling in the back of the fridge!" Max replied.
The parents thanked them again, and took their child home. "Good thing you share the same floor as the Freelance Police, otherwise we'd never get a lead," one of the cops said.
"Hey, we were just happy to help," Sam said.
"...especially when it involved the bashing of a Creepypasta!" Max exclaimed, and the two Freelance officers left.
Robotnik came up just then. "A-ha! I'm so glad you're here, officers! I need some witnesses- these men are harboring an infant, and as their rent agreement states, they $200 dollars for each resident-" he began to state.
"Yeah, we know. They've been taking care of a missing child for the last 24 hours, before we finally managed to find its parents." The second officer said, then tipped his hat to the trio. "Thanks again, boys."
"...missing child?" Robotnik repeated.
"What were you going on about?" Pugsy demanded.
"N-Nothing, um... if you'll excuse me, I have a tape-recorder to replace," and the villain walked off, mentally kicking himself for the set-back.
"So, what now?" Shaggy asked.
"Now, I'm heading to work. ...Oh, and Shag, try not to hurt yourself keeping an eye on Flip," Pugsy quipped, walking out.
"Ha ha, very funny!" Shaggy turned to Flip. "But, um, seriously... stay in sight, and avoid construction areas."
Flip rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Shag." he replied, sarcastically.
d~b
Later, that evening...
An interdimensional portal opened above the balcony, and The Rake dropped in, smirking as he looked through the window, seeing Flip sitting at the computer. "This should be easy..." he said to himself... until a shadow fell over him. He looked, seeing the masked figure standing there, glaring at him. "Ooh, so scary... Who are you?"
The figure reached into his pocket, and held up a badge. "Freelance Police," he said.
The Rake's eyes widened, he let out a girly shriek, and he shot down the balcony, running down the street, still screaming.
The masked figure hopped over to the next balcony, going inside, just as Shaggy stepped out. "Like, weird, I thought I heard something..." he said, then walked back into the apartment. "Man, it sure is quiet without the baby around, isn't it?"
"Yeah, I'm kind of going to miss having him around," Flip said, then rubbed his head. "Except for play-time, heh heh,"
"I'm just glad we can get back to our own lives- keeping an eye on YOU two is enough work," Pugsy stated.
Shaggy rolled his eyes. "You're just full of jokes tonight, aren't you man?" he scoffed, then headed out the door. "Well, I'm off to my shift at the radio-station. See ya!"
"Bye, Shag!" Flip replied, then resumed typing at the computer.
"How's the report going?" Pugsy asked, sitting down on the couch, next to him.
"I'm almost done, just another page-and-a-half to go."
"Why are you doing homework during the weekend, anyway? Why didn't you get it done yesterday, or wait until tomorrow?"
"Well, because I was busy helping you guys out with the baby yesterday, and the last time I procrastinated, I ended up with twice as much work as before. ...plus, it's a long report."
Pugsy started flicking through the TV channels. "Well, don't stay up too late. You've been acting drowsy enough as it is,"
Flip laughed. "Ha! It's Saturday night, Pugs! Kids like me never fall asleep easily! I can stay up all night, and then just crash Sunday afternoon!"
"Yeah right, you'll dose off here soon enough,"
"We'll see!" Flip went back to his report.
2 Hours Later...
"Done..." Flip yawned, saving his report and turning off the computer, then dosed off, snoring softly.
Pugsy walked in from the kitchen area, shaking his head with a smirk. He then picked up Flip and carried him to bed, tucking him in. "Told ya so," he whispered, before walking out.
d~b
A/N: I figured I'd add in a 'cute' scene at the end there. I also borrowed content from "Baby's Day Out" and the Drake and Josh episode, "Two Idiots and a Baby".
Also, I included a reference from Wherever Girl and Fanatic97's story, "Security Authors: Return of the Mayhem", on the chapter 'Creepypasta Panic'.
Hope you all enjoyed!