Well guys, here's the first episode for 2015 at long last!
Sorry for the long wait (for anyone who actually reads/reviews this), but life is taking its toll on me and I've barely been finding time to write at all. It's gotten to a point where I'm lucky to get a one-shot done, much less update a series, and it's just going to get worse since my schedule is going to intensify in a week. …ugh, if only I could just write stories for a living…
Okay, enough of the mini-vent. Here's another episode, the idea coming from my co-author, Mr. Cartoon! (give him a hand, folks!) Enjoy it while it lasts!
d~b
*Episode 16*
Shawn K. Sleeps Over
Nope. Not going to say it.
After 16 episodes, we all know there's no point in describing any day at Paradise Towers as 'normal', 'regular', 'average', 'smooth', 'quiet', 'peaceful', or even 'nice'. 'Usual' would work, but considering the past circumstances, there's no such thing- unless 'usual' would happen to be 'crazy', 'psychotic', 'explosive', 'radical', or 'downright off-the-chain insane in any way'. If I were to describe the day as 'nice' in any sense that I've listed in this paragraph… it would be the second sign of the end of the world (the first sign being Zippy wearing a dress).
What kind of day was it, then?
Typical.
"Typical" meaning that anything that could possibly go wrong… goes wrong.
This time, however, an unfortunate event fell upon Shawn K.- once again proving the point that being a celebrity isn't easy.
It all started when Ted decided to start a new collection.
"An ant farm?" Shawn questioned, as he and Ted stood in the middle of the room, looking at supposed farm. "Why?"
"Oh, I was walking by the pet-store and they were having a sale! Couldn't resist, I guess… these little guys are kinda cute!" Uncle Ted stated.
"No, Ted… Zippy's new kitten, Captain Sprinkles, is cute. The pictures of Scooby-Doo and Scooby-Dee's puppies are cute. An ant farm is not cute- especially if it's 10-feet wide!"
We pan out, showing the enormous glass case Ted bought for all his ants. "Well… I wanted to make sure they all had enough room! It's a big colony, you know."
Shawn sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Well… just be careful with it, then. Why don't you move it into your room or something? If it's in the living room, chances are it could break- especially with Derek around."
Ted started pushing the case across the floor. "Sure thing, Shawn! You won't have to worry, though. This case is one-hundred-percent stabl-"
*CRASH!*
You can pretty much guess what happened. Heck, you probably saw it coming the moment the words 'ant farm' were mentioned!
The case tipped over and shattered, thousands of little ants crawling all over the room. "TED!" Shawn shrieked, climbing on top of an end-table as the insects scattered here and there.
"Whoa! Guys! Easy! Everyone get in a straight line and file into the tin-can, like we practiced!" Ted called to the ants, though they didn't heed his words. He turned to Shawn, who now had a broom and was trying to sweep ants away. "Hang in there, Shawn! I'll just get some food to lure them into another-"
He paused, seeing that an ensemble of ants was crawling across the floor, carrying food from the fridge, which they somehow managed to open!
"Um, never mind…"
"We're going to have to call an exterminator. The place is swarming with ants!" Shawn snapped… falling to the floor when a few ants ate away at the night-stand's base, making him fall to the floor.
Ted looked devastated. "But… Shawn! They're my pets! And, besides, they're just itty-bitty ants. They can't cause that much trou-"
~27 seconds later~
Ted and Shawn were ducked behind the now-overturned kitchen table, as an army of ants marched along, looking over as ants in the kitchen were fighting with ants in the living room over territory- one side wanted food, the other side wanted the cable access… and you don't want to know how the fight was going over who got to claim the bathroom region. Tiny cannons fired here and there, as tiny airplanes flew overhead, releasing tiny bombs and causing tiny explosions.
"I'm sorry, Ted, but these ants have got to go!" Shawn snapped at Ted, as they ducked when tiny fighter-planes soared by, only to get shot down by cannons set up on the kitchen counter.
"I know it seems bad, Shawn, but just give them a few minutes to wind down. They don't mean any-" Ted once again tried to plead.
*THUNK!*
A tiny flaming arrow shot past them, sticking into the wall behind them. Shawn gave Ted a glare, and his room-mate sighed. "…I'll call an exterminator."
d~b
One quick phone-call later, a couple exterminators entered the apartment, gassing it down. They stepped out into the hall a few minutes later, taking off their gas-masks and shutting the door while hanging a 'Do Not Enter- Fumigation In Progress' sign on it, turning to Shawn and Ted.
"Well, the problem's solved. The moment we started spraying, the ants dived out of the windows with tiny parachutes and evacuated their tiny cities set up in the bedrooms, bathroom, and kitchen- we accidentally stepped on the one in the living room, but it was still a work-in-progress anyway," the first one said.
"Though, you may want to wait until tomorrow before entering the apartment." The second exterminator said. "It'll take a few hours for the gas to dissolve, after it lingers over the course of the afternoon,"
"Great… so we can't sleep in our own apartment for a whole night," Shawn sighed.
"Hey, it's not so bad, Shawn. I told my sister, Ruth, about our situation, and she said we're more than welcome to stay at her place until tomorrow!" Uncle Ted told him, trying to get his room-mate to cheer up.
Shawn gave Ted a look. "Does she still have a mad crush on me?"
Uncle Ted thought for a moment. "…Judging from her excited squeal, I think so. You're not still upset that she wouldn't stop hugging you last time, are you?"
"Would Shaggy ever get over Zippy ambushing him in a hug at Mach 5? …You go ahead and stay with your sister, Ted- tell her that I already made arrangements,"
"Okay- with who?"
Shawn looked around the complex. "Whoever's got a room to spare,"
d~b
Rather than just going and knocking on everyone's door, Shawn instead went down to the lobby, looking at the room listings on Robotnik's desk (as the villain was down in the basement bellowing at his lackeys), seeing that only a few people had some spare rooms.
The first one he decided to check with first was Stanley Ipkiss- the new recurring character (by popular request), considering he was living on his own, save for his dog Milo. "Hey, Stanley, are you home?" Shawn asked, knocking on the door.
It swung open… only rather than Stanley being the one to answer the door, it was The Mask… equipped with a pie. "Stan's not home right now, please leave a message after the splut!" he exclaimed.
"Wh-"
*SPLUT!*
"I'd love to stay and chat, Shawn, but I still need to talk to our landlord about our 'rent' issue from that last episode. See ya!" The Mask, with springs on his shoes, bounced off towards the basement.
Shawn wiped the coconut-cream-substance off his face. "O-kay… who's next on the list?"
d~b
Shawn went to his own floor, figuring it would be a lot more simple (and possibly safer) to room with someone who lived nearby. He went to a room down the hall, occupied by Sam and Max, knocking on the door. "Hopefully they're home, unless the commissioner called them to investigate the Ghost Zone again," he said to himself.
"It's open!" Sam called after the celebrity knocked.
Shawn opened the door, walking in. "Hey, guys, I hate to intrude, but I was wondering if-"
*BLAM! BLAM! BANG! BANG! POW! POW! POW!*
"TAKE THAT! AND SOME OF THIS! AND A LITTLE OF THAT! AND MORE OF THIS!" Max was shouting, as he and Sam were shooting at the wall like crazy!
Once the smoke cleared, Shawn (who was pressed against the door in utter shock) looked to see they were firing at a rat… who was frozen on a shelf, clutching a piece of cheese, every bullet having missed him. The critter scurried into its hole in a heartbeat, while the Freelance Police were reloading.
"Darn it, we missed! Oh well, relock-and-load, buddy, we'll get him when he comes back for the crackers!" Sam said, then turned to Shawn. "Oh, hey Shawn. Did you need something?"
"Um…. Never mind!" Shawn said, quickly leaving.
"Huh, what's his problem?" Max wondered aloud, while aiming a bazooka at the rat-hole.
d~b
Shawn walked on to Zippy's apartment. "Maybe Zippy has a room I could use," he said, preparing to knock on the door.
*BAM!*
It suddenly fell off its hinges, as a ferret ran out, wearing a pair of headphones.
Zippy charged out, wearing armor and a Viking helmet and holding a spear. "Darn it, Rodolfo, you get back here!" she shouted as she chased after the rodent.
Shawn blinked. "…Or, maybe not."
By this time, Shaggy was coming up the hall. "Like, zoinks, woman! Watch where you're swinging that thing!" He was shouting at Zippy, before noticing Shawn. "Oh, hey, Shawn. How are you doing?"
"Eh, could be better. I had to get my apartment bombed after Ted's ant-farm shattered. I'm looking for a place to stay overnight, but so far no luck."
"Ouch. Well, why don't you stay at our place? We've got plenty of room!"
"Are you sure?"
"Like yeah! It's the least we can do for all you've done for us in the past. C'mon in!"
"Thanks, Shag!" Shawn followed him in, turning to the audience. "Wonder why I didn't just come here, first?"
They entered the apartment, where Flip was at the computer, and Pugsy was watching television. "Hey, guys, mind if Shawn stays over? His place has an insect problem," Shaggy stated.
"Heck yes!" Flip exclaimed, spinning to face them in the computer chair… too fast, as he ended up falling out. "…ow."
"It's fine by me," Pugsy said with a shrug. "Just so long as you don't mind paying for room-service, heh heh."
Shawn rolled his eyes but grinned. "Thanks, guys. I'll try not to impose too much," he said.
"Like, don't worry Shawn, it's cool!" Shaggy assured him, as he lead him to a spare bedroom.
Yet no one knew what would be in store for them that night…
…and I mean literately no one. Not even the writer's knew- that's why it took so long to get this episode finished. I'm pretty much just winging this narration as we speak! (Seriously guys, you have GOT to start planning out these plots better!)
(A/N: Just get on with it!)
Alright, alright! …geez… the stuff I do to pay rent…
d~b
After ordering a pizza and eating, Shawn began to grow comfortable around his hosts.
A little TOO comfortable.
He sat at the computer after dinner, typing away, pausing for a bit to think, then continuing his typing. Pugsy was sitting on the couch reading the paper, when the rapid 'tap-tap-tapping' sound intruded his ears at last. "What are you working on over there, Shawn?" he asked.
"Oh, it's a new story idea I got. I like to write in my free time," Shawn replied, before continuing typing.
Pugsy picked up a soda."Story, huh? Is it a new screen-play for a movie or something?" he asked before sipping his beverage.
"Not really. It's actually a fan-fiction."
"SPPTTHHH!"
Shawn looked over, upon hearing his friend's spit-take. "Is something wrong?"
"Er, no, just… uh… I used to write fan-fictions, too." Pugsy replied, wiping soda off his mouth. "I stopped though, it got pretty addicting. Plus half my stories got deleted for being in script-format, anyway."
"I see. What was your account name?"
Pugsy scratched his head. "I can't disremember. …How long have you've been writing?"
"About a year now… Funny thing is, I always start a new fic without finishing another one!"
Shawn pulled up his own Fanfiction profile- which we were told not to mention so hordes of fan-girls wouldn't try to use this to stalk him- and pulled up a list of about 10 stories he had started, some which remain incomplete and on hiatus for months on-end (like a few stories on the author's page…)
(A/N: Anyone remember that 'Security Authors' episode where the narrator got shot?!)
Er, ANYWAY… Pugsy looked at a story Shawn pulled up. "I'm a big fan of mysteries, so I decided to write one where a group of cartoons are invited to a dinner-party, and suddenly the host goes missing, and one of the guests is the culprit! …Bad news is, I ran out of inspiration halfway through."
Pugsy read the story over. "Well, why not use the obvious choice? Since everyone pulls something unexpected, showing the obvious reason is growing rare. To throw people off, you could use the joke from 'Clue' and set up three different saturations where the other guests are to blame." He suggested.
"What a great idea! …Hey, maybe you could help me out, lend some ideas."
Pugsy shrugged. "Meh, I guess I could lend an idea or two. Can't let my ingenious creativity go to waste,"
~2 minutes later~
Pugsy was now in the computer chair, typing away rapidly, while Shawn read over his shoulder. "That's good, that's really good!" the celebrity commented, impressed. "Nice twist there! Want me to take over writing?"
"Just a minute, I'll let you look it over when I'm done," Pugsy replied. Shawn shrugged and walked off.
Flip entered the living room… and seeing Pugsy writing a fan-fiction, he slapped his forehead. "Not again…" he sighed, then walked over and leaned against his friend's shoulder. "So… old habits die hard, huh?"
"I guess." Pugsy replied absentmindedly. After a pause, he suddenly registered the joke, then quickly stood up and backed as far away from the computer as possible, then glared off in the direction Shawn had walked. "Shawn! Take over! I'm done… for good!" he then quickly exited the apartment.
"Where are you going?" Flip asked.
"To do something productive before I forget what having a life is like- again!" he then left.
The pre-teen shrugged, then sat down on the couch, taking out the videogame, Persona4. By this time, Shawn was walking out. "Where'd Puggsy go?" he asked.
"To recover his sanity. Again." Flip answered, beginning the game.
Shawn sat down next to Flip, watching him play the game. "Oh, wow, I haven't played this game in a while!"
"Really? I didn't know you were into videogames!"
"Well, I like to play them to relax. Vincent actually got me started on them when I first met him- say, maybe I could show you some secret bonuses!"
"Sure! Go ahead!" Flip handed the controllers to Shawn. "This is going to be cool!"
~2 Hours Later~
Shawn was pushing buttons like mad, while muttering curses as he played the game. "Dang it, Junpei! Get your head in the game, we all just leveled! …Gah! Defense! …No! What's going- agh, c'mon!" he was shouting.
Flip sat next to him, resting his face on his fist, bored out of his mind. "Can I play now?" he asked, yawning. He hadn't gotten a turn since he handed Shawn the remote!
"Hold on, let me finish grinding in Tartarus- CONFOUND IT! I didn't see that coming!"
Flip sighed, standing up and heading to his room. "Suddenly doing my homework sounds like the better option,"
d~b
By the time Shawn decided to take a break from the game (around the time the console started to overheat and caught fire), Shaggy returned home from his radio-shift at the station. "Like, man, what a night." Shaggy sighed, sitting on the couch and turning on the television. "Time to kick back…"
*thonk thonk thonk*
"…relax, watch some tele-"
*thonk thonk thonk thonky*
"-vision, and gorge myself into a food-coma through Sun-"
*thonk thonk thonkity thonkity thonk thonk*
"-day, why are you playing paddleball?"
Shawn, who was sitting in the chair and playing paddleball, shrugged. "I always play paddleball when I'm bored." He replied. "Didn't I tell you that when we first met?"
"Oh, yeah. Forgot about that… longest bus-ride ever…"
*thonk thonk thonk*
Shaggy flicked through a couple channels, finding a movie on and sitting-
*thonk thonk thonk*
-back, while Shawn conti
*thonk thonk thonk*
…continued to play paddleball, despite *thonk* his friend's *thonk thonk* annoyance *thonk thonk* to the repeti*thonk*tive *thonk*thonk*thonk*ing s*thonk*o*thonk*u*thonk*n*thonk*d I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! AAAAUUUUGGGGH!
*CRASH!*
*a replacement narrator shall now take over*
Shaggy y Shawn miraron a la puerta de pantalla rota que atravesó el narrador-
*…a replacement narrator that can SPEAK ENGLISH shall now take over!*
Shaggy and Shawn looked over at the broken screen door that the original narrator ran through, before jumping off the balcony screaming and laughing like a maniac. (Even Zippy was a bit surprised).
"You know… there's nothing good on TV anyway," Shaggy said awkwardly, before heading to his room.
Pugsy walked in a minute later. "…And reason why our narrator is lying in a crater in the backyard?" he asked- as the last time a narrator got injured was back in Season 1 when he threw a brick at their face. "…And why did the sarcastic one take over?"
"No idea, and the other replacement didn't speak English," Shawn answered in order, putting his paddleball away (before it could drive anyone else to the point of insanity).
"Whatever. I'm heading to bed. What about you?"
"In a while. I'm going to watch a little TV- they're showing a marathon of The Loved, The Crushed, and The Hopeless."
Pugsy arched an eyebrow. "That Soap-Operatic show? Sheesh, didn't think you were into that stuff,"
"Hey, the stories are good! …I may start a fan-fiction about it-"
"Goodnight!" Pugsy zipped to his room.
Shawn blinked. "Now what's his problem?" he then turned to the television as his show began.
d~b
Good news- the original narrator took some medication and returned!
Bad news- Shawn got into his Soap… so much, that no one missed out on a single thing that happened, because the celebrity, apparently, had the habit of voicing his opinion about everything that happened in the episode.
…Namely to the characters on the screen.
"…No, Marie! Don't let your mother control your life! You're a full-grown woman now! Return to John and elope and live your dreams! …Crying on the bed isn't going to help!" Shawn was commenting as he sat on the couch, munching on snacks as he watched the show. "Oh, great, another view of Carter- give up your feeble attempts at stealing Loretta away from Princeton, you clueless jerk! I think that slap of her glove was enough to prove she's not interested!"
Flip, who had been asleep, looked at the clock by his bed, seeing it was after 11. He groaned, burying his face in his pillow.
~1 Hour Later~
"YEAH! YOU GO, CHARLESTON! Show Lord Grady who's the real man! Sweep Tanya off her feet, that's it! Yes! …Wait, what's this? *Gasp!* Lady Clarington?! What's she doing back?! She was supposed to have died in that stampede of pygmy buffalo- wait a minute, it's her TWIN SISTER?!"
Pugsy pulled his pillow over his head, trying to drown out Shawn's voice. When that didn't work, he crawled under the mattress!
"No, Thomas, not the blue pill! Choose the red one! The red one! Noooo!"
~3 Hours Later~
"At last, Tara and Randy are finally getting married- what the…?! Lord Barkermunger?! What's he doing here?! …No! You get out of there! They deserve each other! You lost your chance at the dinner-party, you fool!"
Shaggy was cramming ear-plugs into his ears… as well as cotton-balls… and duct-taping over his ears… and putting on a set of headphones. It didn't work.
*CRASH!*
All three jolted, rushing to the living room…
…seeing the remote crammed through the TV screen!
"Um… sorry… I always get carried away when there's a bad cliffhanger," Shawn said, clearing his throat. "I'll… uh… order you guys a new one." He then quickly shuffled off to the spare bedroom.
Pugsy only turned and glared at Shaggy. "You just HAD to invite him to spend the night, didn't you?" he groused.
"Lets just get some sleep," Flip moaned.
Deciding to gripe about Shawn's habits in the morning, the trio went to their rooms, drifting to sleep…
"SNNNOOOAARRRRTKLE…!" came a loud snoring sound from Shawn's room!
"Oh for crying out loud!" Shaggy shouted.
d~b
After lying in bed for a couple hours with wide, blood-shot eyes, tossing and turning in their beds, and going far as to slam their heads through the wall in order to get some peace (in Shaggy's case), the three friends finally managed to drift to sleep around 5:29 AM…
*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!*
…Up until Shawn's alarm went off at 5:30 AM!
The celebrity got up, stretching and doing jumping-jacks, push-ups, sit-ups, and taking a shower… while singing "Eye of the Tiger".
Flip was the first to give up on sleep, walking into the kitchen and pouring himself some coffee in a cup. Pugsy walked out next, pouring his coffee… in a cereal bowl. Shaggy… well he just drank the whole pot of coffee.
"Morning everyone!" Shawn exclaimed cheerfully, walking out. He then looked at the worn-out looks on his friends faces. "Whoa… what's wrong, guys? Didn't sleep well last night?"
Pugsy shot Shawn the mother of all death-glares, then when the celebrity turned to go watch TV, he lunged to strangle him, Shaggy and Flip having to hold him back. "Just let me… one punch, that's all!" he hissed.
There came a knock at the door, as Uncle Ted walked in. "Hey-o, Shawn!" he exclaimed, walking over and giving the celebrity a noogie. "How was your night?"
"Pretty good! What are you doing over here so early, though?" Shawn replied.
"Oh, well, I came over to see if the apartment was aired-out yet, when I got a call from the exterminators. They said that that the gas they used was extra strong, and would probably need another night to clear up. Figured I'd tell you the news."
"I see. Well, guys, would you mind if I stayed over one more- guys?"
Shaggy, Pugsy, and Flip had collapsed on the floor, little x's in their eyes as swirls appeared over their heads.
Shawn turned to Ted. "You know… on second thought, lets find a hotel-room for the night. I think the guys had a long night,"
"Really? Doing what?" Uncle Ted asked as they walked out.
"I have no clue- you never know what kind of weird habits people have in their own homes." With that, Shawn shut the door to the apartment.
Shaggy never invited him to spend the night again.
d~b
A/ N: It just goes to show, not every celebrity is perfect XD
Also, I couldn't resist giving another shout-out to Security Authors, as well as a reference to And Then There Were Less (both stories on Wherever Girl's page- the latter being another idea from Mr. Cartoon).
Next episode… more insanity awaits!
Reviews are welcome. Flames are not.