Monday morning was Professor Dumbledore's favorite time of the week. It was just so amusing to show up to the Great Hall all cheery and smiling while the majority of the professors and students were sleepy-eyed and grouchy. Severus often complained about his peppiness and even refused to talk to him some mornings. It was all the better to Dumbledore, as it gave him more incentive to annoy everyone else.
Making his weekly jaunt into the hall, Dumbledore stopped in his tracks. Sitting at the head table was none other than Augusta, Nymphadora, Mundungus, and Ludo. Some students stared at him questioningly, assuming that he knew why these four strangers had taken the places of their original professors. Before anyone could deduce that he had no idea what was going on, he placed a phony smile upon his face and continued walking to the table.
As he took his seat in the center, he smiled to the newcomers as though he knew why they were there and turned to Professor Sinistra.
"Aurora, do you know what's going on?" he asked, a touch hysterically.
"Headmaster, this may come as a terrible surprise to you, but Minister Fudge showed up yesterday and fired the four heads of house, apparently on orders of the Board of Governors," the woman said sadly, "Fudge claims they don't trust the teachers you hired because of your poor judgement in choosing to hire Quirrell."
The man paused for a moment. Sinistra wasn't sure if it was to collect his thoughts or to pull himself together from the shock. Whatever flicker of weakness she saw in him only lasted a fraction of a second.
"I didn't think Fudge would have the balls to do something like this," Dumbledore said, steely-eyed. After a moment of contemplation his face, he seemed to realize what he had just said. "Oh, excuse me Aurora, I didn't mean-"
"-Albus really, it's okay, you can-"
"No worries," Dumbledore cut her off and resumed being his chipper self, "The school year is almost over. I can sort this out once the students are let out for summer."
Dumbledore filled his plate and began eating. Sinistra went back to her own food and the students eventually stopped glancing at the staff table curiously.
Fred, George, Seamus, and Harry all exchanged quick smirks.
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"Can you believe that Fudge would just fire them like that?" Ron wondered in disbelief. "It's mad! Now I won't get good marks on my exams!" he complained.
"I'm not all that sure you would've gotten good marks if our real professors were still here," Hermione said bossily.
Harry smiled at his friends' bickering. He tuned them out as they made their way down the front lawn. It was a sunny day. A good day to have herbology. Harry couldn't be any happier. He got to spend a sunny day outside, with a teacher who was obviously not qualified to be teaching. This was going to be entertaining.
Just as they were settling around the planters with the Hufflepuffs, whispers broke out. Their new professor, Mundungus Fletcher, walked in with Dumbledore. Harry noted that the old man seemed strained. For a moment Harry felt guilt ridden at having assisted in his mentor's suffering. However, his guilt was overcome by his curiosity to see how things played out.
"Good morning students," Dumbledore addressed everyone, "Don't mind me, I will just be observing your new teacher, Professor Fletcher, here today."
At Dumbledore's nod, Mundungus began. "Hello children! My name's Mundungus, no need for this 'Professor' stuff. Anyways, I know it's a bit above your year level, but I was thinking of teaching you all about Venomous Tentacula today!"
Everyone glanced around in confusion. Hermione was the only student to recognize the name. She looked on in horror and turned around to find Dumbledore's eyes. Harry saw that the old man just waved down her arising complaints and gestured for her to turn around and pay attention. Hermione turned back around, but Harry's stare lingered on Dumbledore for a second longer. The headmaster was shaking his head in disbelief. Harry almost laughed out loud. Whatever a venomous tentacle-thing was, it was probably not good.
Ten minutes later and Harry could have sworn at himself. Not good, NOT GOOD?! That was such an understatement. The second that Mundungus led them into the room with the Venomous Tentacula, the plants started flailing around, attempting to grab students. They were green and spiky, they almost seemed to have teeth. Luckily Harry was fast enough to dodge their shots of venom that squirted out from their shoots constantly. However, most students weren't lucky. Neville, of course, was among the first to be injured.
"I won't be mad if you swear at 'em!" Mundungus yelled over the chaos. "They're 10 galleons a leaf. So there's a plus side!"
Dumbledore moved towards Hermione. "Would you assist me in using the severing charm?"
Harry was impressed that Hermione seemed to know just what he was talking about. The two moved around quickly and precisely. They wounded the plants just enough to prohibit them from hurting anyone else, but not enough to destroy them altogether. By this time all the students had cleared out. The only ones left in the room were him, Dumbledore, Hermione, and Mundungus.
Once the job was done and Dumbledore had instructed the students to go to the hospital wing, Harry saw how worn out he was. Dumbledore just looked tired. He walked over to Mundungus and started reprimanding him. He was whispering of course. Dumbledore hardly raised his voice. Mundungus just looked sheepish. Harry was a bit amused at the scene.
It's only first period, Harry said to himself in shock. He grabbed Hermione's hand and walked her out of the greenhouse.
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By lunchtime, every student in the school was whispering about the supposed firing of their professors. As Fred and George passed by the other tables in the Great Hall, they could hear the results of their doing.
"Did you hear what happened to Suzie Maybean?" one Ravenclaw 3rd year said to another. "That horrible Longbottom lady transfigured her into a camel!"
Fred and George nearly fell over. They sat down at the Gryffindor table where they could hear the rest of their conversation.
"That's not all," the Ravenclaw girl continued, "Dumbledore was in the class at the time. When he tried to change Suzie back, Professor Longbottom turned his hair color into a light brown and then completely hacked off his beard! She didn't do it with magic either, she just had a knife or something up her sleeve. It's going to be more difficult to grow that back. Dumbledore will probably need a potion."
The twins laughed out loud at this. The Ravenclaws looked over at them and leaned over, gesturing for the boys to listen.
"The worst part is," the girl revealed, "Professor Longbottom began flirting with Dumbledore! She kept calling him 'cauldron cake' or 'lemon drop'. It was completely disgusting!"
George's pumpkin juice nearly sprayed out of his nose. He was not expecting that. Fred thumped his fist down on the table a few times in an effort to swallow his food without choking. The Ravenclaws grinned at them and went back to their own food. The twins looked at one another with tears of joy in their eyes.
As if on cue, Dumbledore walked into the hall. A collective gasp could be heard throughout. Dumbledore blushed as everyone began pointing at his newly shaven face.
The headmaster sheepishly walked to his place at the head table. The room erupted in laughter when Augusta Longbottom blew him a kiss. Neville was mortified at his grandmother's actions.
At this point Fred and George were rolling on the ground.
This prank was SO worth it, George said to himself.
~.~
Fred and George walked into the potions classroom. For the first time since coming to Hogwarts, most of the students didn't fear entering the dungeons. They took their seats at the front of the classroom and waited. George heard many of his housemates, and even some Slytherins, sighing in relief as Tonks walked through the door.
"Good morning everyone!" Tonks cheerfully announced, "My name is Tonks, and you're probably wondering why a person as young as me is teaching you. I'm wondering that myself. However, when Fudge sent me a letter asking me to teach you guys until the end of the school year, of course I couldn't pass up that opportunity!"
Fred and George snickered behind their cauldrons.
Tonks continued, "I even recognize a few of you, I graduated last year for those of you that don't know. So this should be a fun experience for me and you. I get to see what it's like on the other side and you guys get to see what it's like with a new professor."
At this she winked. All of the Gryffindors smiled in glee, the Slytherins looked torn between being offended and grateful.
"Well let's continue shall we?" Tonks carried on while walking through the aisles, "Today I wanted to get you all started on- OOF!"
George leaned over in his seat to see Tonks sprawled out on the ground. She had clearly just tripped over his bag.
"Umm Tonks, are you okay?" he asked.
Noticeably embarrassed, Tonks stood up "Uh, yeah yeah I'm fine," she said while brushing off her robes. She blushed as some students began to snicker.
"Umm anyways, today I'd like you all to brew the Confusing Concoction. Instructions are on the board," Tonks waved her wand and writing began to appear, "You may begin."
The rest of the period went as planned. Tonks didn't trip again and the students seemed to like her alright. Fred and George agreed later on that choosing Tonks as a replacement professor was a good idea. It didn't create the mayhem that they had planned, but at least they could do something nice for their friend who was good to them during their first two years at Hogwarts.
All of the students left the class in a good mood.
~.~
That Friday at lunch, Dumbledore and Ludo Bagman walked into the Great Hall. The students moved their heads as the two passed them on the way to the head table. They were clearly bickering about something. The only words that George could capture from their conversation when they walked by was something about tap dancing.
"I wonder what that's all about," George queried aloud.
"Bagman doesn't know how to teach charms. All he does is make things tap dance," Harry said as he sat down next to the twins.
"Harry! How could you say such a thing! He's our professor. Surely Minister Fudge would have chosen a qualified wizard for the position," Hermione rebuked haughtily.
Fred and George snickered in retaliation. Harry joined in. Ron looked confused and Hermione looked offended.
"Hmph!" the bushy-haired girl retorted. She stood up and walked over to the quiet end of the table where she sat down and pulled out a book to read. The boys rolled their eyes.
A few minutes later when everyone was settled down the doors to the hall opened. Eyebrows raised as people caught sight of who the newcomers were. Fred, George, Harry, and Seamus shifted in their seats to get a good view of the show that was about to begin.
Dumbledore's mouth hung open, his voice rang across the hall and spoke for everyone by saying "Minerva, what are you all doing back here?"
The four professors looked up at him, confused. "You told me to come back in a week," Sprout answered.
Dumbledore paused and his eyes narrowed, "I don't believe I ever spoke to you Pomona, I only recall missing your company Monday morning and being very surprised to see these four people taking your places," he gestured to the replacements.
"Headmaster, you told us that the Board of Governors wanted us to take a leave of absence for a week," Flitwick chimed in.
"No, Fudge fired you!" Sinistra exclaimed.
"WHAT?!" the four original professors yelled in unison.
"Wait just a moment," Dumbledore said raising his hand for silence. "I don't remember telling you to leave for a week. The board has not contacted me in months. Yes, Fudge talked about the possibility of replacements, but he hasn't said a word to me recently."
The staff members now stood in front of the head table, disheveled and carrying luggage. The new professors sat with their mouths hanging open. The students hung onto their every word.
Silence filled the hall and Fred and George glanced at one another. Fred gave George a nod that said "It's time."
As though finishing the end of a play, the boys stood up on the bench and yelled simultaneously, "WE GOT YOU GOOD ALBUS!" before taking a great, big bow.
Author Note: Sorry to leave you guys on a cliff hanger! The next chapter is going to be the last one. I've had a lot of fun writing this story and I hope that you had fun reading it!
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