Hello, peoples! Thought this story had been put to rest, didn't you?
I apologize for the extremely long hiatus, but a lot of stuff happened since the last episode (namely the fact I got hooked on a new videogame). But, after so long, I finally found inspiration to continue!
Now… let's continue!
d~b
~Episode 22~
The Wrestling Battle Royale!
Flip walked out of the school building, on his way back to the apartment complex, when he noticed a few people crowding around a sign. "What'ya know? They're finally letting the amateurs in!" an old man, Grandpa Phil, stated as he looked at the sign.
"Happening this weekend- I'd better go sign up!" Johnny Bravo exclaimed, taking off.
"No robots allowed?! What kind of yut makes these rules?!" A robot, Bender, was shouting… then squinted. "Oh, wait- 'Monday Night is Bot Fights'."
Flip looked at the sign, seeing it was an advertisement for the Toonopolis Amateur Wrestling-Battle Royale, an event where non-professional wrestlers battled one another in an arena for the grand prize of $1000 to $25,000 dollars, going on all month.
"A wrestling tournament?" he questioned, reading the fine print. "'Rookies allowed to enter the competition- must be 18 or older to enter, weigh 100 lbs. or more, and must pay a fee of $10 to enter. Winning participants have the choice of either accepting the cash prize of the week, or continuing in each match to win the grand prize of $25,000.
"(Challengers cannot participate if pregnant, nursing, have allergies to pain, bleed easily, on special medication, just broke out of prison/wanted by police, have families to take care of, been hospitalized within the last 2 weeks, or have fear of violence. No super-powers allowed in the ring."
"Sounds pretty neat- I'm going to sign up!" One of the ninja turtles, Michelangelo, exclaimed.
"Mikey, you're only 15. They won't let you!" Raphael told him.
Mikey scoffed. "They never check those things! Besides, I look 18, don't I?"
"Ah… no. C'mon," Raphael dragged his brother off. "We can at least buy tickets to watch the match,"
"Aww, man…"
Flip rubbed his chin. I wonder if the guys know about this? He wondered, and took off.
Reaching the backyard… it was safe to assume everyone heard of the competition. Jasper and Horace were wrestling against Scratch and Grounder, while Robotnik stood by dressed as a referee. "C'mon, you dolts! Put some muscle- and gears- into it!" the evil genius was snapping. "It's either win the Bot Fight on Monday, or win that grand prize money this weekend!"
"Boss… why do we have to enter again?" Horace grunted as he was pinned on his stomach.
"Because I blew the budget for our 'Death-Star 2.5' on those hospital bills from our LAST explosive-incident. …Which one of you dolts thought it was a good idea to power the 'Sun-Burst 6000' on nitroglycerin, anyway?"
Flip arched an eyebrow. Robotnik then noticed he was standing there. "…What are you talking about?" the tween asked.
"Er… just… some Star Wars products that were on Ebay- scram kid, we're working here!"
Flip walked on… seeing Derek was wrestling against Brattina- and losing. "OW! OW! NOT SO HARD, WOMAN!" Derek was griping as Brattina had him in an arm-lock, pinned to the ground.
"Derek? Brattina?! What're you doing?" Flip asked.
"I'm helping Derek practice for the 'Wrestling Battle Royale'." Brattina stated, then looked at Derek as her other arm grabbed his ankle, bending his leg towards her as she sat on his back. "Am I doing it right, Derek?"
"OUCH! YES! NOW GET OFF!" Derek cried out.
"But… you have to be 18 to participate. They won't let you in!" Flip replied.
"I'm going to talk Flim-Flam into making me a fake ID so I can- Yeow, geez 'n' criminey, Brat, my arm doesn't bend that way! Session's over!"
"I'll get off if you give me a kiss…" Brattina persuaded, leaning in.
Quick as a whip, Derek pried out of her grip, bucked her off, and took off running. "UNCLE TED! I need a restraining order!"
Flip blinked, then decided to head up to the apartment…
*Crash!*
…just in time to see Zippy barreling down the stairs, pinning down the Mask- who was dressed as a lucha libre . "Okay, what's my time now?" she asked.
The Mask took out a massive stop watch, clicking it. "8.5 seconds- starting to slack, girl." He replied. "You're going to have to keep working if you want to beat my time!"
"I would have, if we didn't end up falling down the stairs…"
"You guys are practicing for the wrestling tournament too?!" Flip asked.
Zippy and the Mask looked at him. "What wrestling tournament?" they questioned.
"The one taking place this weekend, for amateurs. Everyone is signing up for it!"
"Dang, and no one told me this? I gotta start getting out more!" Zippy exclaimed, turning to the Mask. "I'll catch up with you later, Mask-Man!"
"Say hello to the BF for me!" Mask called, then pulled the mask off and turned back into Stanley Ipkiss. "Woo! Wow, the things that girl does to beat boredom… Note to self: help out neighbors with less crazy things,"
"So, you're not going to participate as The Mask?" Flip asked.
"I would… but he won the title of professional wrestler back in 1998," Stanley held up a picture of The Mask wearing a 'Champion' wrestling belt while giving a thumbs up- while also sporting a black eye, missing teeth, and having a broken chair hooked around his neck. "Plus, I'm working at the bank all weekend,"
They began walking back up the stairs. "I wonder who all is participating."
"Hard to say. I know Shawn K. is going to be hosting it with Hulk Hogan, so he's out; Uncle Ted is more of a pacifist so he won't be… Zippy obviously is… and Vincent is busy working in college and finding a new job- poor kid's budget is pretty low, and he needs the money to keep up with his tuition."
"How do you know all this?"
Stanley held up a laptop. "I spend most of my free time browsing posts on Fakebook. …Anyway, why don't you see if Shag or Pugs will be signing up? I heard they're big wrestling fans,"
"Yeah! If anyone could win that competition, it's Shaggy or Pugsy!" Flip then ran up to his apartment, opening the door…
…seeing Shaggy standing on the counter looking scared, while Fangface looked in the bottom pantry.
"…okay, maybe not Shaggy…"
"It's alright, Shag, it was just your mouse-trap going off- Jerry ended up getting the cheese scot-free again," Fangface told Shaggy. "But next time, check first before screaming like a girl and hitting the ceiling *grr*, I don't think the plaster can take any more damage,"
"I can't help it, years of solving mysteries made me jumpy!" Shaggy scoffed. "And I do NOT scream like a girl!"
"Hey Shag-" Flip said, walking up to him from behind.
"EEEK!" Shaggy shrieked (like a girl), and leaped into Fangface's arms.
"…You were saying? *snort*" Fangface chuckled, then looked at the kid. "What's up, Flip?"
"I heard there's an amateur wrestling tournament going on this weekend." Flip replied.
"Oh, yeah, the Wrestling Battle Royale," Shaggy stated, climbing out of the werewolf's arms. "Pugs and I just announced something like that over the radio this morning!"
"Are you guys going to sign up for it?"
"*grr* Sounds like fun to me! …though, I may have to go easy. I don't know my strength that well, yet." Fangface replied.
"I would… but I'm lacking a few things- mostly muscle, agility, and medical insurance," Shaggy joked.
"…As well as courage, from the sounds of it." Pugsy joked as he entered the room. "Rat-trap scare you again, Shag?"
Shaggy sneered at his friend in response, while Fangface chuckled. "Are you going to sign up, Pugs?" Flip asked. "I heard there's going to be a big cash-prize every week! Anyone who sticks through it for four weeks will win $25,000!"
"Sounds good… but I'm not really into the challenge," Pugsy walked over to the couch, sitting down and turning on the TV. "Bunch of guys, brawling with each other in the ring and breaking their necks to win cash- not exactly my forte. …Plus, if Fangface is participating, I know I won't stand a chance,"
"Can I help it if I have super-wolf strength?" Fangface commented.
"But the rules stated super-powers aren't allowed. You'd have to lay off the extra strength, Fangface," Flip said.
The werewolf's shoulders slumped. "Aww, but how am I supposed to throw someone into the 12th row? Throwing someone out of the ring is one reason I'd sign up- just because it looks cool on television! *grr*"
"I'm sure you still can… but, um, t-try not to kill anyone when you do it," Shaggy stated, a bit pale. Fangface gave him a look of offense.
"C'mon, Pugs, sign up! You're a real macho guy- even if you don't win, you'll still have fun showing off how tough you are!" Flip stated.
"I dunno- I don't really see any reason I should enter and risk a hospital visit," Pugsy stated.
"It'll help you win back your Man-Card after all those embarrassing 'dress up' moments we had on our show," Fangface said.
Pugsy considered this fast. "Alright, I'll do it. …But just because I'm entering doesn't mean I'm in it for the money or to prove how tough I am- I'm just doing it for entertainment,"
"Then let's get down there and sign you up! C'mon!" Flip exclaimed, pulling his friend out the door.
"…A kid is hauling him down to sign up for wrestling. Pugs REALLY needs his Man Card back!" Shaggy joked.
*Snap!* went the mouse-trap.
"Zoinks!" Shaggy screamed, leaping into Fangface's arms again.
The werewolf gave him a look. "…Yeah. HE needs his Man Card back," he scoffed.
d~b
The guys went down to the arena where sign-ups were taking place, as well as a few ticket sales for the upcoming event. They stood in line behind two more cameos, Chris and Dan. "I-I don't see why I have to sign up…" Chris was stating.
"Because one of us has to sign up to win that cash prize, so we can afford a trip to Australia, and get back at that kangaroo who broke my car windshield before being released back into the wild! Pay attention, Chris!" Dan retorted.
"Why can't you sign up?"
"Because you're bigger than I am- plus, I already bought tickets to watch these guys beat each other with chairs. Stuff like this helps me to relax."
They looked over, seeing Jamie walking over to his friend, Coop. "Sorry, bud, they said no giant robots over 10 Ft. allowed," Jamie was saying.
"Aw, man…" Coop groaned, leaning against the giant robot, Megas XLR. "You got tickets for the match this weekend though, right?"
"…I thought we couldn't afford more cameos?" Shaggy whispered.
"The writer took it out of our budget for a second movie." Flip replied.
"Are you kidding me?!" came a shout, as the line was paused. The guys looked ahead, seeing Zippy at the front. "I can't participate?! Why?!"
"Young man, you are below the age limit. …Go sign up for the wrestling team in Middle School, alright?" the man at the table replied.
"Huh boy, here we go…" Pugsy sighed.
"One, I'm a girl! And two, I'm 21!" Zippy replied, showing the man her ID.
The man arched an eyebrow. "…According to the date on this, you should be 24!"
"…Gimme a break, it's hard to keep track of my age looking like a pre-teen. So can I sign up now, or what?"
"Not so fast. It says here your weight is only 99 lbs. You have to weigh at least 100 to join,"
"What?! It's only one pound! Can't you make an exception?!"
"The last time we made an exception, some green-faced maniac put The Hulk in the hospital! …But if you manage to gain weight by next week, you can sign up for the next match. Bye now!"
Zippy stormed off, grumbling. "…Well, there's a sub-plot if I ever saw one," Shaggy commented as they walked up to the table.
Pugsy signed up, paying the $10 fee, and they walked inside to get a look at the arena. "Well, no turning back now, I guess." The stocky young man replied, seeing a few guys practicing in the ring already.
"Fellas!" called a voice, and they looked over to see Shawn K. walking towards them. "Didn't expect to see you guys here!"
"Really?" Shaggy questioned.
"…Okay, I did. I take it you guys bought tickets to the upcoming event?"
"Even better- Pugs signed up to compete!" Flip exclaimed.
"For real?" Shawn looked at Pugsy. "…You sure this isn't his stunt-double?"
"Very funny, Shawn," Pugsy sneered.
"Yeah- we do our own stunts! *grr* …Don't we?" Fangface replied, looking at Shaggy.
"We have to- we don't have the budget for stunt guys," Shaggy told him.
"Well, good luck then, Pugsy. You'd better get some training in before this weekend- a lot of tough guys have been signing up," Shawn replied.
"OW! MERCY! I SAID MERCY! MAMAAAAA!" came a shout, and everyone looked into the ring… seeing Johnny Bravo was practicing with one of the practice-dummies- and losing.
"Yup. The competition looks fierce," Flip commented, sarcastically.
"…Flip, that was my line!" Pugsy snapped.
"Oops! Um… uh… can we try that shot again?" Flip called.
"This ain't Hollywood kid- Moving on!" the writer called. "Scene change- Go!"
d~b
~One Scene Change Later…~
Back at the complex later that evening, Pugsy was sitting in a chair on the balcony, looking up at the stars and relaxing.
A moment later, the Black Alchemist materialized with a *crack*; he paused and looked over at him. "Oops. Wrong balcony." He said, before hopping over to the neighboring one. "If anyone asks, you never saw me." With that, he ran inside.
Pugsy blinked, then looked into a coffee-cup he was holding. "…I think it's time to switch to decaf," he said to himself.
Standing up and stretching, he walked inside, thinking about that afternoon. A wrestling tournament- I must be crazified. Did I really sign up to participate in some grudge match? He thought to himself.
*FWEEEEEEEET!*
"Gah!" Pugsy gave a jolt at the whistle, noticing Shaggy and Flip were standing on both sides of him… dressed like coaches.
"Alright, Pugs, we've only got 2 days to whip you in shape so let's get to work!" Shaggy exclaimed… trying to make his voice sound gruff. "I want 15 push-ups from you, and after that 20 laps around the building!"
…I guess I did… Pugsy convinced himself, referring to his last thought. "What the jumping ignorpotomases are you two doing?" he demanded.
"We're going to help you train for the big match this weekend," Flip told him.
"And the only 'ignor-whatevers' I want to see jumping is you- 35 jacks of them!" Shaggy added in his gruff voice. "We're going to buff you up, kid, until you're spitting steel and lifting tru- *ack* *cough!* *hack!*" The lanky young man then grabbed a glass of water, guzzling it down, then spoke in his usual voice. "Like, so much for my 'Mighty Mick' Goldmill impression…"
"I appreciate the offer, guys, but I'll be fine." Pugsy said, walking to his bedroom… backing out as Shaggy and Flip were suddenly walking towards him!
"This isn't an offer, Pugs- if you want to get far in the ring, you're going to have to prepare yourself!" Flip replied, sternly. He crossed his arms. "Or need I remind you your werewolf best friend also entered?"
"Yeah- so if you want to keep from being turned into a human pretzel, you're going to use your spare time working out!" Shaggy added.
"Considerating he's a WEREWOLF, working out wouldn't do much," Pugsy scoffed. "Fangface will probably dominate the competition!"
"And it's attitude like THAT that'll get you killed! C'mon, Pugs, we've got work to do!" Shaggy and Flip grabbed him by the arms, hauling him outside.
"I'm starting to regret this already!"
As they ran out, they passed by Zippy, who was lifting weights. Vincent walked by, his nose in a textbook. "Try not to overdo it, hon," he stated.
"I won't if you won't," Zippy replied, hoisting the weights up high… and ending up falling through the floor! "Agh!"
d~b
*Montage Time!*
During the next couple of days, Shaggy and Flip made sure Pugsy stayed in-shape for the upcoming match.
Each morning when he got up, Shaggy would replace whatever he was having for breakfast with a protein shake, whole-grain cereal, and a grapefruit- the latter which Pugsy chucked at him once he saw Shaggy chowing down on his previous breakfast.
After work, Shaggy would have him hit the gym for three hours; afterwards, they would return to the apartment and he'd lie down… only to be pulled back on his feet by Flip, who'd have him do push-ups, sit-ups, and chin-ups until he felt like he was going to throw up.
Robotnik was pushing his lackeys as well- having them lift weights, run on treadmills, and do aerobics until their limbs fell off!
…that last part being literal as Scratch and Grounder's arms actually did fall off while trying to do stretches; Horace got trapped under some barbells and Jasper ended up tangled in a jump-rope. Robotnik could only face-palm.
Zippy was apparently lifting weights… though as the camera zooms out it shows Fangface pulling the weights up, while the tomboy pulled them down.
We cut to Uncle Ted watching a game-show on TV while eating potato chips in a pair of Garfield© jammies… until he notices the camera and quickly hides his face with a pillow.
O-kay…
Back to our three title-characters, Pugsy was pulling a wagon while Shaggy sat in it… wait, didn't they do something like this in Season 1?
"Wait a minute…!" Pugsy realized after catching that last sentence, and looked at Shaggy.
The coward gave a weak grin. "Eh heh… bye!" he exclaimed, running down the block, with Pugsy pursuing him.
They ran past Flip, who clicked a stop-watch. "…Wow, that's their best time yet!" he stated.
*End Montage*
"Thank God…" Pugsy wheezed, passing out in the lobby. Shaggy peeked out from the closet, then hurried upstairs before his friend regained consciousness.
d~b
Safe to say, once the Wrestling Weekend had arrived, Pugsy wasn't exactly in-shape… considering he was too exhausted to stay standing.
In fact, the guys had to roll him in on a trolley to get him to his spot in the arena. "C'mon, Pugs, you gotta stay sharp! Today's the big day! You don't want to die in there, do you?" Flip told him.
"…I already feel dead…" Pugsy groaned, sitting down in a chair.
Shaggy hauled him up. "No slacking, Pugs- keep on your feet!" he exclaimed.
*THUD!*
Pugsy made a face-plant on the concrete.
"…I'm starting to think we pushed him a little too hard," Shaggy stated.
"You think?!" Flip scoffed, kneeling beside Pugsy and tapping him. "Pugs, are you alright?"
"…stone floors are more comfortable than I realized…" Pugsy slurred.
Shawn walked over, looking down at Pugsy. "Is he okay? If he's not feeling good, you'd better take him home," he advised. "There's no point in him winning a free-for-all if he's exhausted,"
"Free-for-all?! I-I-I thought this would be a one-on-one match!" Flip stammered.
"Well, it starts out as a free-for-all… then the last wrestler standing becomes the 'champion' for other wrestlers to face. …Besides, the crowd wants to see as much violence as possible, so we had to cram a few guys in," Shawn looked at Pugsy, then wrote on a clip-board. "…I can have Pugs put in for the final-five, that should give him enough time to rest. But if he's not up to it by then, he'll have to participate next week,"
Shawn walked off. Flip and Shaggy pulled Pugsy into a chair. "C'mon, Pugs, snap out of it! Think about your Man-Card, man!" Shaggy exclaimed.
"Maybe we should wait until next week. We really overdid it with his training," Flip sighed.
Shaggy sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're- That is the BIGGEST concession stand I've ever seen!" The lanky young man's eyes widened as- across the arena, up some stairs, was a large stand selling a variety of snacks. Hot-dogs almost a mile long, popcorn buckets the size of bathtubs, and slushies that stood to be 4 ft. tall!
"Yeah, why don't you grab Pugs a Gatorade©, that should-" Flip began to state… only to see that Shaggy was sprinting towards the snack-stand. "…help out… a little."
"Hey, Chan!" came a familiar shout, as Derek walked over. "I need a sparring partner! I'm going to be in the first-five, and I want to get some extra practice in!"
Flip arched an eyebrow. "How'd you get in?!"
Derek held up a [fake] ID with his picture on it… which also included a marker-drawn mustache on his face. "I settled a deal with Flim-Flam: He gets me an ID, and I'll help him become a recurring cameo!"
Flip turned to the camera. "Any more cameos, and we won't have a budget for even a title."
Derek grabbed him by the shirt-collar. "C'mon- I want to practice my half-nelson!"
"Gah! Wait! Didn't we settle our differences in the last episode…?!"
As Flip was dragged off, Pugsy remained seated in the chair… passed out and snoring.
In the stands above him, Coop and Jamie were seated in the front row. "Psst! Jamie! I bet ya five bucks I can land a skittle in that dude's mouth!" Coop whispered.
"You're on," Jamie replied.
d~b
Within half an hour, the Wrestling Battle Royale finally began. Shawn sat in a booth with the [very expensive] cameo, Hollywood Hulk Hogan. "Welcome, wrestling fans, to the Toonopolis amateur Wrestling-Battle Royale!" the Cartoon All-Star announced into the intercom. "I'm Shawn K., here to give you the feedback on the grudge-match month of the year! With me is the well-known professional wrestler, Hulk Hogan! Hulk, what do you think of the competition so far?"
"Gotta say, Shawn, I'm pretty impressed with the turn-out!" Hulk Hogan replied, looking down at the line of wrestlers ready to get into the ring. "Didn't think I'd see so many determined guys entering this weekend! …Heck, we even had to move some of them on a waiting-list for the next three matches because the slots were full!"
"I'll say! Who would've known there were so many confident rookies out there?"
"Confident rookies… or guys who really want to beat the pulp out of each other," Hulk then looked down, seeing two guys were already beating each other up. "HEY, YOU TWO! SAVE IT FOR THE MATCH!"
Shawn looked down at the ring, seeing five cameos entering the ring. "Looks like the first opponents are entering the ring. Care to start the introductions, Hulk?"
"Sure thing, Shawn! First in the ring is that over-confident wannabe-ladies man who lives with his mama, weighing at 185 and all muscle, Johnny Bravo!"
At the sound of his name, Johnny flexed his pecs, doing karate poses with his 'Hoo Ha Huh!' catchphrase. "Steady your hearts, ladies," he said into the camera.
"Next up, we have that daring pilot from Duckburg- most famous for working alongside Darkwing Duck- weighing at 122… Launchpad McQuack!" Shawn announced.
Launchpad was standing at the edge of the ring, looking down at his friends, Drake Mallard and his daughter Gosalyn. "Gee, guys, you really think this is a good idea?" he asked.
"Of course, you're the only one who can win this match!" Gosalyn told him, then looked at her father- who was in a cast. "…especially since someone had to drop out after trying to text and fly!"
"It's not my fault! The Thunderquack's auto-pilot wasn't working!" Drake hissed.
"That's because it doesn't have auto-pilot!"
"Something you should've told me BEFORE I went on my last patrol…!"
"Third in the ring is a guy named Chris, weighing at 157… and looking like he's about to throw up," Shawn continued, arching an eyebrow.
"Dan, don't make me do this! There's got to be a better way to get to Australia…!" Chris begged.
"Shut up and man up, Chris! You've already lost your Man Card five times already- try to keep it this time!" Dan shouted from the stands.
"Fourth in the ring is a short guy named Derek Generic, weighing at 110!" Hulk continued. "He claims people shouldn't be fooled- he actually is 18, it's just a height condition,"
Derek stood in the ring, taking in the applause. In the stands, Brattina whooped and held up a sign with his name on it- with hearts and kiss-marks all over it. "GO DEREK!" she hollered.
"…it's also his funeral if he's this crazy," Shawn muttered under his breath, then decided to wrap up the introductions. "And finally, weighing at 115, with a skull so thick it could crush a diamond, is that lovable idiot from a familiar Cartoon Network Show- Ed!"
"Hi mom!" Ed exclaimed, waving into the camera while grinning.
"Remember, lumpy- you screw this up, and we lose our ticket to fame and fortune!" his friend, Eddy, called from the stands. "We can't live off nostalgic-merchandise forever!"
"I regret allowing the writers to increase our ages by 3 years…" Double D groaned, covering his face with his sock-hat as he knew this would end badly.
The referee, I. M. Weasel, then entered the ring. "Alright gentlemen, I want a good, clean fight. No purple-nurples, neck-snaps, or suffocating- and if you're going to throw chairs, make sure non-contestants are sitting in them! …Now, go to your corners, and may the best man win!"
All the wrestlers went to their corners… save for Ed, who was messing with the elastic-rope around the ring. "Boing-boing-boing…" he was humming, strumming the rope like a rubber-band.
*Ding Ding!*
"And there's the bell… and it looks like the contestants are ready to get savage!" Shawn announced. "Johnny Bravo is going after Ed, trying to get him in a choke-hold!"
Johnny was doing just that… only Ed didn't seem to be budging. "Geez, kid, what did you eat?! Bricks?!" Johnny grunted, trying to yank Ed off the ground.
"Butter-toast and pancakes is all I had!" Ed replied, turning sharply… and swinging Johnny across the ring, where he crashed into Launchpad.
"Looks like Derek is going after Chris!" Hulk announced, then arched an eyebrow. "…who is curled up in a fetal-position."
Derek stood by Chris, looking peeved. "C'mon, man! Get up and fight!" the teen snarled, pulling on Chris's ankle.
"I've changed my mind! Let me out of here!" Chris was whimpering.
Derek groaned. "This is embarrassing- alright, ya wimp, just lie still and I'll pretend to pin ya!"
Chris did so while Derek sat on his back, bending his leg up while trapping him in a headlock. "Ack! Not so hard!"
"C'MON, YOU WEAKLING- AT LEAST PRETEND TO TRY!" Dan shouted, rubbing his temples. "…should've had Elise sign up instead…"
"DOGGY-PILE!" Ed exclaimed, running over and tackling Derek and Chris.
…well, mostly Chris, since Derek saw him coming and dove out of the way, leaving Ed to body-slam Chris clear through the mat- leaving a body-shaped hole. "…ow…" Chris whimpered.
"And it looks like Chris and Ed are both out of the ring!" Shawn announced, as a couple paramedics ran by to take the two wrestlers out of the match.
"…more like under the ring," Hulk commented. "Meanwhile, it looks like Bravo is trying to take McQuack down! It looks like an even match for the both of them!"
Johnny and Launchpad had each other by the shoulders. "C'mon, ya darn duck, go down- you're making me look bad in front of the ladies!" Johnny was grunting.
"Mmf! You go down- I'm not going to risk looking bad in front of the gals, either!" Launchpad retorted.
Derek looked at them both, then climbed on top of one of the support-poles in the ring. He then pointed over. "Hey look! A couple super-models are cheering for you!" he exclaimed.
"WHERE?" Johnny and Launchpad both exclaimed, looking over-
Derek leaped-
*BAM!*
Landing on both their shoulders, the teen managed to knock them both onto the mat! Using his ankles, he caught Johnny around the neck, while keeping Launchpad in a half-nelson. "Ack! Okay! I give…! I give…!" Launchpad gasped, choking.
"Someone get this crazy kid off me!" Johnny cried.
I. M. Weasel ran over, slamming his palm on the mat. "One! Two! Three! You two are out!" he announced.
*Ding Ding!*
"And there's the first bell signaling the end of the First Five! Looks like Derek got lucky this round- but can he hold on for two more?" Hulk announced, as Derek went back to his corner.
"He'd better try, because the rest of the competition looks a lot fiercer than the others!" Shawn announced. "First up in the next line-up is that vigilante from that classic Ninja Turtles series, Casey Jones!"
Casey Jones (old school) entered the ring, taking in the applause. "YEAH, CASEY! THROW 'EM OUT OF THE RING!" Michelangelo called from the audience.
"…He's going to get killed," April O'Neil sighed, face-palming.
"Following suit are two well-known recurring cameos who are experienced in tracking down and pummeling the paranormal- Sam and Max, Freelance Police!" Shawn continued.
Sam and Max stood by each other. "Kind of feels weird entering a Neanderthal-like competition for the sake of winning thousands of dollars…"Sam stated, as entering sport-competitions wasn't in their field. "Then again, the Commissioner did say he wanted us to take up a new hobby outside of shooting rats in our apartment."
"…And what better hobby than by pounding a bunch of goons into the concrete!" Max exclaimed.
"Just don't bite anyone, Max- we can't risk someone suing us for rabies, again."
"Finally, entering the ring- determined to show the world what he's made of- is yet another classic cartoon star… I. R. Baboon!" Hulk wrapped up.
I R jumped into the ring, leaping around with his hands in the air. "Yes! I R will dominate wrestling!" he exclaimed.
"Good luck, friend! Though, you'd best watch yourself- many of these wrestling matches get quite out of hand," I M Weasel advised him.
Baboon only blew a raspberry at him. "I R don't need stupid Weasel's advice! I R will win!"
Weasel merely shrugged, then waved his hand down and stepped off to the side.
*Ding Ding!*
"And there's the bell- and it looks like Casey Jones is the first to lunge, trying to take down Sam! But he's caught behind by Derek, who has leaped onto his back and caught him in a choke-hold; Sam trips them both as Casey stumbles, making Casey hit the mat! The humanoid-hound then goes in for a body-slam… and Derek once again rolls away!" Shawn was announcing…
…pretty much taking over lines that the Narrator was supposed to say!
Shawn paused. "…oops. Sorry. *ahem*"
With Casey pinned, Weasel made the call and he was out of the ring; however, Baboon jumped on Sam, trying to knock him over, only to get tackled by Max- both of them biting at each other's heels!
Weasel blew the whistle. "TIME OUT! Sorry, boys, no biting is allowed in this wrestling-match! I'm afraid you're both disqualified!" he announced.
The crowd booed, while Max and Baboon left the mat. "Ya should've told us that BEFORE we signed up!" Max snarled.
"Weasel is unfair! He just didn't want to see Baboon win!" Baboon snarled.
"…I guess I'm out of the match too- he's my ride." Sam stated, thumbing at Max and climbing out. "Ah well- watching wrestling is more fun anyway."
"And it looks like Sam took a forfeit. Looks like we're down to the Final Five- and Derek seems to be holding up!" Hulk announced.
Derek sat down in a corner, where Brattina and Cat-Gut stood by with a towel and water-bottle, prepping the teen. "Just one more round, sweetie, and you'll be the champ!" Brattina told him, while rubbing his shoulders. "Stay strong!"
Derek gargled some water, then spit it in a bucket. "Yeah right- as lame as this fight's turning out, they'd have to throw in a real monster to take me out!" he commented.
d~b
Meanwhile, outside the ring, Pugsy was still slouched in his chair… surrounded by hundreds of Skittles© "One more try!" Coop was stating, tossing a skittle- which bounced off Pugsy's forehead and onto the ground.
"You owe me 250 dollars, so far." Jamie said with a grin.
Fangface ran by just then. "Pugs! There you are! *grr* C'mon, buddy, we're up!" the werewolf exclaimed, pulling his [still sleeping] friend to his feet.
"Zzz… five more minutes…" Pugsy snored, still unconscious.
By this point, Shaggy had returned with a mountain of snacks; Flip stumbled over… looking like he got jumped in an alley. "Flip! What the heck happened to you?" Shaggy gasped.
"…Derek needed a sparring-partner… he ended up throwing me in the janitor's closet when he was done; I just regained consciousness." Flip replied. "What round is it?"
"The Final Five. …We'd better get Pugs and go home; you don't look good."
Flip looked around. "…Hey… where IS Pugs?"
"Um, if you're looking for your friend- he's in the ring," Jamie told them, pointing ahead.
Shaggy and Flip turned, seeing Fangface having Pugs propped up in a corner- the stocky young man still asleep!
"Oh-!" Shaggy gasped.
"Crud!" Flip yelped.
They ran to get him out of there before the next round could begin…
*Ding Ding!*
Too late.
d~b
"And here we are for the Final Five!" Shawn announced. "Hulk, what do you make of the final completion?"
"Well, that wolf-dude looks pretty rough… he's already got two guys scared!" Hulk replied, looking down in the ring…
…where Fangface was chasing after Jasper and Horace. "*grr* C'mon, guys, I won't bite- it's not allowed, remember?" the werewolf called.
"JASPER! HORACE! TURN AND FIGHT, YOU IDIOTS!" Robotnik was ordering. "WE NEED THAT MONEY!"
"Well WE need to stay alive!" Jasper retorted. Suddenly, he was caught by Fangface. "Yipe!"
The werewolf then held him overhead, spinning him wildly. "*grr* Lets see- which one is the 12th row?" the werewolf asked, trying to count all the aisles in the bleachers as he spun him. "There's one… two… three… four… five- wait, I think I skipped one…"
Horace looked over, seeing Pugsy asleep. "…Taking him down should be easy," he guessed, then grabbed Pugsy by the shirt-collar, hauling him to his feet. "Alright you bloke, get ready to-"
*Bam!*
Derek shoulder-slammed Horace out of the way- so hard, that the man ended up into the ropes like a sling-shot, getting launched across the ring!
"Seven… eight… nine… no wait, did I count that row already?" Fangface was still counting, while still spinning Jasper!
"JUST- THROW- ME! I'M- GOING- TO- THROW- UP!" Jasper cried out.
"Oh, fine…" Fangface prepared to launch him out of the ring…
*BAM!*
…only to get slammed from behind by Horace, all three of them ending up falling out of the ring-
"OOMPH!"
…and onto Robotnik.
"*grr* Ooh, ooh, this is embarrassing to my werewolf-image…" Fangface grunted, rubbing his head… then looked at the camera-guy. "Um, any chance we can edit this out?"
Derek then looked at Pugsy- who was on his feet and still asleep! "Heh heh, taking Pugs out will be the ultimate victory!" he exclaimed, running forth. "Sweet dreams, sucker-!"
*Thud!*
Once Derek was close enough… Pugsy fell on top of him, pinning the kid to the mat! "Zzzz…. Huh? Wha…? What's going on?" he murmured, now coming to.
"GET OFF ME, YA JERK!" Derek grunted, trying to squirm free.
Weasel ran over, slamming his palm to the ground. "1-2-3, you're out of here!" he exclaimed, then pulled Pugsy to his feet, raising his arm in the air. "The winner and champion of the first week!"
"…Huh?" Pugsy gasped.
"Huh?" Shaggy, Flip, and Fangface all exclaimed.
"Huh?!" Shawn and Hulk added.
"HUH?!" The entire audience exclaimed in utter surprise.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Derek shouted, standing up.
"Well… folks… this is quite the turn-out! It seems like Pugsy- the token-punching bag of the story- is the on-going champion of the Wrestling Battle Royale!" Shawn announced.
"Who would've thought, huh?" Hulk exclaimed. "Now he's got the option of either going home with the grand prize of $1000, or sticking out for the rest of the month! …Which do you think he'll decide?"
"I guess we'll find out next week! …As for the rest of you, be sure to tune in next week for the second match of The Toonopolis Amateur Wrestling Battle Royal!" he then paused, turning to Hulk. "…you know, we should shorten that title- it's a real mouth-full!"
d~b
Later at the complex, Shaggy and Flip decided to celebrate their friend's [unexpected] victory. "Sheesh, Pugs- next time you brag about doing something in your sleep, I'll take your word for it!" Shaggy was exclaiming, while pouring his friend some soda.
"Yeah- that was awesome! Derek was coming at you, and you just pinned him down!" Flip added with a grin. "…Sure taught him a lesson in practicing his body-slams on me."
"*grr* I'll say! Who would've thought my best buddy would be the champ?" Fangface added.
"Ah, I just got lucky. I doubt the competition was that fierce if Derek was the last guy standing," Pugsy replied with a smug grin.
"YOU'RE DARN RIGHT YOU GOT LUCKY! NEXT TIME, I'LL SEND YOU THROUGH THE FLOOR!" Derek shouted… while wearing an arm-cast, leg-cast, and neck-brace.
Pugsy turned to the audience. "…I think someone's abusing the caps-lock liberty a little too much,"
"Alright, Derek, settle down; the doctor said you have to keep off your feet for the rest of the chapter," Uncle Ted advised, leading his nephew out the door.
"I want a rematch! The whole thing was rigged! He probably paid the writer to make it so where he'd win-!" Derek kept complaining, until he was finally out the door.
Zippy came in through the balcony door (as always), rushing over. "I heard the news- and I want to know how it happened!" she exclaimed. "How'd Pugs win- or were the rest of the guys too weak?"
"Hey! I was in the Final Five- at least, until I fell out of the ring." Fangface replied, then looked at Shaggy. "…How's your landlord feeling, by the way?"
"The doctor said his concussion should clear up in a couple chapters," Shawn replied. "…Until then, he thinks he's Miss Daisy and is asking everyone to drive him somewhere,"
Zippy turned to Pugs. "Well, gotta say congrats on getting your Man-Card back, Pugs. Let's hope your luck holds out next week," she said.
"Eh, I don't know. I was thinking this could be a one-time thing; y'know, just accept the cash prize of the week and move on," Pugsy replied.
"What?! Are you kidding, man?!" Shaggy gasped, grabbing his friend by the shoulders. "You can't just walk away while you're ahead! You just won a wrestling tournament IN YOUR SLEEP! With a reputation like that… geez, you could go all the way with anyone!"
"…Goodnight everybody," Zippy quipped, waving to the audience.
"Shag's right, Pugs! *grr* Why, if you could win a competition when I couldn't, you could win 'em all!" Fangface exclaimed.
"Yeah- turn that $1000 and raise it to $25,000! …With cash like that, we could afford a better apartment!" Flip exclaimed.
"…If not pay off our gratuitous cameos, and STILL be able to stay on-air," Shawn added.
"Might as well give it a shot, Pugs- otherwise they'll never leave you alone," Zippy stated.
Pugsy sighed. "Alright, I'll do it- but if I end up sacrificing one-grand and losing, the blame is on you!" he scoffed. "…And if you guys put me through any more of that hardcore training, I'll forfeit!"
"Alright! Big cash prize, here we come!" Shaggy exclaimed.
"I'm going to go tell Holly!" Flip added, running out the door.
Shawn patted his friend on the shoulder. "Good luck, Pugs- you may need it!" he stated, walking out next.
"*grr* Yeah, yeah! Congrats on winning this time, buddy- I'm going to go see if they'll let me enter again, then we can tag-team!" Fangface added, racing out next.
"And I'm going to go try to gain weight so I can enter next week!" Zippy said, then gave Pugsy a mischievous look. "Better watch your back then, Pugs." With that, she walked out onto the balcony and leaped over to the next.
Pugsy sighed, lying back onto the couch. "…Why do I keep letting everyone talk me into these sort of things?" he muttered, rubbing his face.
"Because if you didn't, we wouldn't have a plot." The writer called.
Pugsy groaned. The things I do to afford rent… he thought.
d~b
Thankfully, Shaggy and Flip obeyed Pugsy's demand of keeping him off the heavy-training… though the lanky young man still had him hit the gym after work (after lunch, to be specific, since their shift ended at noon).
"Just a couple hours at the gym every day, that's it." Shaggy said in promise. "You gotta keep in shape,"
"I am in shape! …And don't be shoving any of that health-crap down my throat, neither." Pugsy added. "If I have to chug another Geneva shake, I'm going to vomit for a month,"
"Alright, alright! But if you get the urge to eat fast-food, call me and I'll eat it for ya,"
Pugsy sneered. "In that case, I'll be eating red-meat products until this month is over with,"
On their way down the street, they bumped into Vincent. "Hey guys how's it going okay see ya!" the college-student exclaimed as he raced by.
Zippy ran after him. "Wait, Vince! You forgot your flashdrive!" she exclaimed, catching up.
Vince took it. "Thanks honey see you this afternoon!" he gave her a quick kiss then shot off.
Zippy sighed, crossing her arms and shaking her head. "That boy is going to work himself into a coma,"
"What's the rush with Vincent?" Shaggy asked.
"He overslept- classes start at noon, and he didn't wake up until 11:50. Poor guy stayed up all night studying,"
"Wow, he must be dedicated," Pugsy commented.
"Oh yeah- especially with his tuition at stake. As long as his grades stay up, he's got some leeway… but if he slips under a B- the tuition will be higher."
"Geez! What kind of college is he going to, Sub-Character Prep?!"
"Toonopolis University for Theatrics. He's aiming to be a voice-actor,"
"Hey, so am I!" the co-writer exclaimed off-set. "What kind of scholarships do they have?"
"Ah, I think so… If you do a great cartoon-impression, they take off $100,"
"I can do a great Pugsy impression!"
"…Mr. C, save it for post-episode. We're on a tight schedule!" The director called.
"Aw, but I want to hear his impression…!" The writer exclaimed.
"AFTER PRODUCTION!"
Everyone (but Pugsy) groaned. "Alright, alright… where were we?" Zippy asked, looking at the script.
"Let's start here," Pugsy replied, pointing at a line.
Zippy cleared her throat, doing her line. "…Well, I'd love to shoot the breeze, boys, but I've got some iron to pump!" she then took off for the gym.
Pugsy walked the other way. "Like- whoa! Pugs! Where are you going? I thought you were going to work out!" Shaggy exclaimed, going after him.
"I'll do it at home—if ZIP's at the gym, I won't be losing weight, I'll be losing sanity!" Pugsy scoffed, walking ahead.
Shaggy paused, then nodded. "Good point."
d~b
Later that afternoon, Pugsy lied down in the backyard- hoping to get some solitude before the next catastrophe hit- taking in some sunlight and fresh air…
"AHA! I knew I'd catch you lounging around out here!" came a shout, as Jasper came forth; Horace with him.
"Aren't you two supposed to be hospitalized?" Pugsy sighed.
"Oh, no- see, we landed on our boss, so we only suffered a couple sprains." Horace said; Jasper nudged him to keep quiet.
"Listen, we heard about your so-called 'victory' the other day, and we don't believe for a single minute that some jerk like you could have won!" Jasper sneered. "Just by flattening a kid, who shouldn't have been in the ring in the first place! You shouldn't have won from just dumb luck, yet you went and did it anyway… and when it comes to blokes like Horace and me, well we've only got one thing to say about that!"
Pugsy gave him a look. "Yeah? What?"
Jasper and Horace then grinned. "Thanks a ton!" the scrawny criminal gave Pugsy a hard slap on the shoulder while shaking his hand. "You're a real credit, you are!"
The stocky young man looked at them confused, as did the reader. "…Excusify me?"
"Ya see, Pugs, we know what it's like to always get the bad end of the deal- always pushed around, creamed, our pain being entertainment for others… Seeing as you're always in the same ball-field, yet managed to be victorious in a tough-competition… well, it gave us a sense of hope!" Horace told him.
"Right! Seeing you finally get to shine in the spotlight makes us think that guys like us will get a chance at the top!" Jasper added. "I mean, I was thinking you'd get thrown into the stands by that werewolf… but you held up- and beat the crud out of that rotten Derek kid, too!"
"Um… I didn't really do anything…" Pugsy admitted.
"Exactly! You didn't even have to try!" Horace exclaimed. "You're a champ, Pugs- a real champ!"
"Good luck in the next match, Pugs- win it for us comedy-reliefs!" Jasper said, and he and Horace walked off. "C'mon, Horace- let's go have Scratch 'n' Grounder change. If Pugs can win a match, their chances should be greater!"
Pugsy blinked. "…Huh. Didn't think I'd get credit from those goons," he commented to himself, then grinned, leaning back. "Then again… I should've expected it sooner."
d~b
The rest of the week went like that for Pugsy. Every time he'd go somewhere, he'd be greeted with a 'Congrats on the win', or 'That was so awesome!' or 'I wish you crushed that bully in the third episode!'.
He wasn't the only one getting some great attention. At school one day, a few of Flip's classmates were running up to him to share their own thoughts on the event.
"Dude, did you say you live with a guy named Pugsy?" one student, Craig, asked. "Is he the same guy who won the first tournament last weekend?"
"Yeah," Flip answered. "Shag and I saw him fall on Derek-"
"WHOA! He body-slammed Derek?!" another student, Jessica, gasped.
"Well, more like-"
"I heard Fangface was in the ring… and Pugsy still came out on top!" another student, named Tanner, spoke up.
"He fell out of the ring-" Flip tried to say.
"I bed he's going to dominate the next three matches!" Craig said, then turned to Flip. "Can I come over to your house later and meet him?"
"Yeah, see if he can show us some wrestling moves!" Tanner added.
"That would be cool!" Jessica added.
A few other students began to crowd around Flip, asking if they could meet his 'now famous' wrestler-roommate.
Flip shrugged. "Sure, I can arrange something," he replied.
d~b
~That Afternoon~
"…And if that wasn't enough, the guys at the gym kept saying I should've entered the first round, just so I could've won quicker," Pugsy was telling Shaggy. "…Ya think everyone's just hyped about me winning, or are they just luring me into a false sense of security?"
"Hey, everyone loves it when the underdog wins, Pugs." Shaggy said, while drinking a slushie. "…And considering you've been the butt-of-the-joke for so many years, seeing you come out as the champion fighter brought forth a new hope for humanity!"
"Huh. Been a while since we've had any of that,"
"I'm telling you, Pugs, this could be a new start for us! …I've already invested in the merchandise!" Shaggy then pulled out a large cardboard box, filled with T-shirts, flags, coffee mugs, caps, and posters all with Pugsy's face on them!
Pugsy blinked. "Uh… aren't you going overboard with this, Shag? I mean, there's a chance I might lose the next match-"
"Which is why we gotta exploit this opportunity while we can! …Er, I mean- have more faith in yourself, Pugs! Do it for us little guys! *cough*"
Pugsy rolled his eyes. "Fine… But my image stays off the underwear!"
Shaggy looked in the box. "(…sheesh, that was going to be our best-seller)."
"Seriously, Shag. Don't overdo it with this. I mean, it's not like I'm going to have a fan-club or anyth- someone's going to come in, aren't they?"
*Bam!*
The front door swung open, and Flip's entire class came running in! "Look, there he is!" Craig exclaimed.
"Whoa! Hey! What's going on?!" Pugsy gasped as the kids surrounded him.
Flip staggered in, out of breath. "I tried to hold 'em off at the elevator… but one of them got my house-key and they trampled me!" he wheezed, then stormed over to a classmate. "Give it back, Bernie!"
Bernie handed him the key.
"Flip! What's this about?!" Pugsy demanded.
"They heard about your win, Pugs, and they wanted to meet you… I didn't know my entire class was into wrestling!" Flip replied.
The kids swarmed around Pugsy, asking questions like 'Did you hit anyone with a chair?' or 'Can I have your autograph' and 'Why didn't you slam Derek in the third episode?'.
Flip stepped in, climbing onto the counter. "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! Calm down guys! One at a time, one at a time! No crowding the champ!" he called, getting everyone to calm down. He then pointed at Craig. "Alright, you first."
"Dude, can I get your autograph?" Craig asked. "I know you're not a professional, but still!"
"How much do you train?" Jessica asked.
"Are you related to Leo Gorcey? My grandpa wanted to know," another student, Harold, asked.
"Um… Sure, 2 hours a day, and- I was just based off him," Pugsy answered the questions in order.
"This is so cool! I gotta get a picture!" Bernie exclaimed.
"No pictures! I just said you could meet him!" Flip ordered.
"That's right… But, you can get some autographed posters for only $5 apiece, as well as other items," Shaggy announced.
"Really, Shag?!" Pugsy snapped.
The kids then crowded around Shaggy, buying a couple posters, T-shirts, and caps. "Can you sign here?" Craig asked Pugsy, holding up his cap.
"No, sign mine first!" Jessica exclaimed, and soon all the kids were crowding around him again!
"HEY! …Make a line if you want him to sign!" Flip ordered. "Go on, there you go- Bernie, no cutting!"
The kids lined up, and one-by-one Pugsy signed autographs and sent them out the door. Once the last classmate ran out, he had a massive cramp in his hand.
Shaggy sat down beside him, counting his profit, while Flip sat on the other side. "Boy, if my whole class thought Pugs was cool… imagine how many more people want to see him!" the pre-teen exclaimed.
"I can't believe 12-year-olds carried so much cash!" Shaggy chuckled in glee.
"Yeah, well, don't get used to it, guys. I'm sure after the match this weekend, some new champ will rise up," Pugsy said, then grinned. "That is, if anyone thinks they can handle me,"
"Let's cut to this weekend and see!" Flip said into the camera.
d~b
~The Second Weekend~
"What, no training montage?" Pugsy cracked, standing in one corner, while Flip and Shaggy stood off to the side.
"We would, but the writers felt it would be redundant to have two training montages in one episode," Flip answered.
"Just get yourself pumped and be ready for the fight, Pugs! You'll be handling a real monster of a wrestler!" Shaggy said- trying again to sound like Mighty Mick, only to end up coughing. "…ugh, I need to gargle better if I'm going to keep that impression up…"
"I take it my opponent is a real wrestling-tyrant?" Pugsy guessed.
"More like a real monster," Flip answered, pointing over…
…where Fuzzy Lumpkin was standing in the opposing corner. Someone was handing him a water-bottle. "Get offa my property!" he snapped, snagging it and bonking the guy on the head!
Pugsy blinked, then turned to the camera. "Exactly how many cameos does this episode have?!"he questioned.
"Enough questions! Get in there- and try not to die!" Shaggy exclaimed.
"Thanks for the support," Pugsy sneered, walking to the center and standing face-to-face with Fuzzy.
"Alright, gentlemen, I want a good, clean fight. No low-blows, no temple-hitting, and no using members of the audience to hit each other!" I M Weasel stated. "May the best man- or monster- win!"
*Ding Ding!*
"And there's the bell! Looks like it's going to be another tough one, folks! From what I saw in a certain Powerpuff Girls episode, Fuzzy fights dirty! Thankfully, no tag-teams are allowed in this event, so Pugs might have a fighting chance!" Shawn K was announcing.
"YEEEOOOWWW!"
"…It looks like Fuzzy makes the first move, hoisting Pugsy up high and swinging him around- and throwing him into the rope!" Hulk exclaimed, watching with wide eyes. "Pugs gets sling-shot back at him, only for Fuzzy to just stick his arm out and have the guy's face slam into it!"
"OOMPH!"
"OOH, looks like Fuzzy took this moment to slam himself on Pugsy's stomach, knocking the wind out of him! It doesn't look good for the champ folks!" Shawn was announcing. "Fuzzy has him trapped in a full-nelson now! If he wants to live, he'll have to think of something fast!"
"Darn right, Shawn! …Ooh, looks like Pugs managed to escape- by yanking a piece of hair off Fuzzy's armpit! He's free now, and is catching the furry pink fella in a headlock!" Hulk added.
…do I even need to bother narrating…?
*FWUMP!*
"And it looks like Fuzzy flipped him overhead into the ropes! Pugs is flipping over the ropes and onto the mat! Fuzzy is doing flips of vanity! And Pugsy's flipping-" Shawn began to continue… though quickly silenced himself. "Uhhh… I'm not going to finish that last part."
"PUGS! THIS IS A KID'S SHOW!" Shaggy was yelling, while having Flip's eyes covered.
"What?! What's he doing?" Flip demanded.
Fuzzy then grabbed Pugsy by one arm and one leg, swinging him around and slamming him onto the mat! The stocky man lied there, his body aching. "One-" Weasel was counting. "Two-"
"The new champ's right here, ya'll! Let me hear that applause!" Fuzzy exclaimed.
"BOOOOOOOOO!" everyone in the fans shouted.
Pugsy sat up, before Weasel could count to three. Thinking of an idea, he pointed over. "Hey! Someone's taking your parking spot!"he exclaimed.
"WHAT?! GET OFFA MY-!" Fuzzy shouted, turning around and running-
Pugsy stuck his foot out, tripping the villain and making him hit the mat. He then body slammed him and held him down. "One! Two! Three! You're out!" Weasel quickly announced. "…Oh, and you don't have a parking space." He then held up Pugsy's hand. "Remaining champion, Pugsy!"
"And I don't believe it, again! Pugsy won this round- and wide awake, too!" Shawn exclaimed.
"I think he would've won anyway, Shawn… Fuzzy's wanted by the police for breaking his parole," Hulk stated, holding up a 'Wanted' poster.
Several cops then surrounded Fuzzy. "…whoops- gotta go!" he exclaimed, then took off running, with the cops in pursuit.
d~b
Safe to say, after Pugsy's second win, his fame increased.
However, a few other amateurs thought about taking him on outside the mat, just to see how tough he was right outside the ring- mostly because they thought it was fake like Pro-Wrestling.
At the gym, one guy tried to trap Pugsy in a headlock- but in a tornado-spin, Pugs turned the tables on him, having him in a head-and-arm lock until the guy cried mercy!
Another guy tried to catch Pugsy at the café- just as he was explaining a few wrestling moves to a few of Flip's classmates… which he demonstrated on his ambushing opponent.
Eventually, it got to the point where Flip had to 'organize' a few mini-tournaments. "Right, I can have him take you on at 5:15… Sure, your grandma can watch- wait, SHE wants to wrestle him too? Alright… For the last time, Derek, your uncle said no- so did the doctor-and your mother!" Flip was saying over 3 different phones.
At one point, Pugs had to multi-task, keeping a guy in a half-nelson while signing autographs.
Shaggy, in the meantime, was making a profit off the merchandise, now able to sell plushies, bobble-heads, hoodies, and sneakers with his room-mate's face and/or name on them! "Yeah, sure, I can see if he can be a spokesperson for Pepsi© next week!" he was saying into a cell-phone while selling a few products.
"Shag…" Pugsy came to him just then, looking irritated… and holding up a pair of boxers with- oh geez, Shag, really?!
"Eh heh… t-they were just a demo! Um… go ahead and burn 'em," Shaggy stammered, nervously.
d~b
The next tournament came up, and Pugsy had to take on a real bear of a wrestler!
…and I don't mean that metaphorically. It was a literal bear!
"I have to wrestle a BEAR?!" Pugsy questioned, then gave the writer a look.
"…We ran out of cameos! …That, and with your reputation, no one wanted to take you on anyway," the co-writer replied.
Pugsy groaned, but entered the ring.
*Ding Ding!*
"And there's the bell! It looks like someone forgot to feed the bear, because it looks hungry!" Hulk exclaimed. "HUNGRY FOR ACTION!"
"…It also looks rabid. Did it have its shots?!" Shawn called to the animal-control guys, off-screen.
The bear lunged at Pugsy, keeping him pinned to the ground! The stocky young man had to keep his arm pressed against its throat to keep his face from getting ripped off! He then got another idea… and pulled out a calendar, pointing to a date that read 'Not Spring Yet'.
The bear developed a confused expression and, under the sense that it still had some time before it could come out of hibernation, fell on its side and went to sleep, sucking its thumb. Pugsy merely walked over and leaned against it.
"One, two, three, it's out cold!" Weasel announced.
"Well… that was anti-climatic," Flip stated.
"Still counts as a win! WHO WANTS PUGSY© WATER-BOTTLES?!" Shaggy exclaimed to the audience.
d~b
After a three-streak win, Shaggy decided to endorse his friend's victory over the radios during his night-shift at the station.
"…Three-time winning champion, Pugsy, has been topping the charts these past three weeks!" Shaggy was announcing in his radio-voice. "Opponents from outside-the-ring have been trying to take him down, but so far no one's been a match for him! I'm telling ya, folks, this competition may be for amateurs, but if our champion survives the final match, he may be going on to the Pros!"
Someone handed Shaggy a piece of paper.
"Hold it, I just got word about the oncoming opponents he'll be facing this weekend…" his eyes widened. "Whoa! I don't believe it! Turns out no one will be competing against him next weekend! Looks like taking out a bully, a villain, and a live bear was enough to convince other competitors not to try their luck!"
Another paper was handed to him.
"In attempt to get someone to compete, the management of the event have removed the $5 sign-up fee, and more women are welcome to sign up!"
The hand that was handing him stuff pointed to a fine print at the bottom of the page.
"…Preferably, super-models."
"CUT! That's not in the script!" Director Flanigan stormed onto the set… where off to the side of Shaggy, Pugsy was standing. "Pugsy Whatever-Your-Last-Name-Is! What the heck are you doing?!"
"Hey, I just felt like improvising," Pugsy stated, coolly. "This is my episode, after all."
"It's also YOUR job to follow the script! Or did you forget your paycheck is on the line?!"
"Then I suggest you give me a raise, if you expect me to."
"WHAT?! You've already had two raises this season!" Flanigan turned to the co-director, Shawn K. "You know how to handle celebrities. You talk to him!"
"Pugs, either follow the script, or I'll let the writers torture you in the next episode- and make you addicted to writing fan-fics again!" Shawn ordered.
Pugsy rolled his eyes. "Fine, let's do everything that YOU want to do…"
Fangface then ran onto the set. "Alright, Pugs! I heard no one could take you down, so I'm here to show everyone how easy it is! *grr*" he exclaimed. "Are you ready for a death-match?! *grr*"
Pugsy only held up a picture of the sun, shoving it in the werewolf's face.
In a swirl, Fangface became Fangs. Pugsy gave him a dark look. "Um… I-I'll be in my trailer!" he yelped, taking off.
"That's what I thought," Pugsy scoffed… then put on a pair of shades. "If anyone needs me, I'll be preparing for the next scene. Ciao!"
Flanigan walked off, his face in his palms. "Our token tough-guy has become a diva… God help me!" he sobbed.
Shaggy, who was still on-air, cleared his throat. "Umm… well now that that's over with, let's hear a little bit of Nickleback!" he announced, playing the song Rock Star.
d~b
…okay, just to avoid feeding Pugsy's ego, let's see how the supporting cast is doing.
Uncle Ted was sitting in the basement, playing cards with Scratch, Grounder, Horace, and Jasper. "So, how'd you two do in the Bot Fight?" Ted asked.
"Ah, we weren't allowed to enter- the competition was full." Scratch sneered.
"Aw, that's too bad. I bet you two could've won!"
"Ha! With the monster-machines they had in there?! I heard that Megatron creamed Springtrap!" Jasper stated.
"…Well, duh! The bot is 20-times his size!" Grounder scoffed.
"I just can't believe they called a foul on Aigis, all because she blasted Bender's head clean off! Since when was that illegal?!" Horace demanded.
"…I think it's namely because she was under age. No robots made after the year 1990, they said." Scratch stated.
"Did someone mention Aigis?" came an excited shout, as Vincent came running down the stairs, looking around. "Please tell me we finally got the budget for Persona cameos!"
"Ah, sorry, Vince. Not this episode," Ted replied, apologetically.
Vincent's shoulders slumped. "Aww man… as if this day wasn't already bad enough…"
"What's wrong, Vincent?" Horace asked.
"I got the results from my exams. I managed to pass… but I didn't get high enough grades to help with my tuition." He let out a heavy sigh. "I guess I'll have to look for another job- otherwise I'll be dropping out."
"Aw, cheer up, Vinny!" Ted stated. "I'm sure you'll make ends meet, somehow!"
"Yeah… well, if you need me, I'll be looking at the 'Help Wanted' section," With that, the college-student walked off.
"Poor kid…"
"Ha! I got 4 Aces! Top that!" Grounder exclaimed, lying his cards down.
"That's wonderful, Grounder… except for the fact that we're playing Gin Rummy!" Jasper snapped.
d~b
That's basically how the rest of the week went. Pugsy kept boasting about being a champion, Shaggy was making hundreds of dollars off endorsing his friend, and Flip was working as an agent and living off the popularity his co-star was raking in.
However, by Friday, it seemed there was a bit of trouble for the arena. "You gotta be kidding! NO ONE will sign up?!" Hulk exclaimed. "What do I have to do, take him on myself?"
"Sorry, Hulk, no pros allowed," Shawn sighed, rubbing his temples. "We've got to find someone willing to fight… We can't cancel the tournament and just name Pugs the champion of the year,"
"Yeah- that guy's ego really spiked high since the first week!"
"…actually, it's because people already bought tickets and would burn the place down if we cancelled, but that reason's better! Whoever signs up has to be strong enough to knock Pugs off his high-horse! …Especially before Shaggy starts having him do commercials,"
"*ahem* …Perhaps I could sign up?" came a voice.
Shawn and Hulk looked ahead. "…You think we should?" Shawn asked.
"Depends… how old are you, and how much do you weigh?" Hulk asked the unseen character.
Said character only smirked.
d~b
~The Final Wrestling Weekend~
The stadium lights shined bright that Saturday, as a crowd of 2500 people seated in the arena whooped, hollered, stomped and clapped as the spotlights shined all around. The spotlights stopped at one side of the arena, as flares lit up along the sides, giving a flashy-entrance for Pugsy, who walked down the lane wearing a robe, wrestling shorts, sleeveless shirt, and belt.
In the stands, Shaggy was selling merchandise like crazy, while Flip was handing out autographed pictures to a few classmates who attended. Seeing Pugsy coming, they ran over to his side of the ring.
"Alright, Pugs, this is it! The finale!" Flip told him. "How do you feel?"
"Like a winner, what else?" Pugsy scoffed with a smirk.
"That's what I like to hear! Yer gonna be chewin' steel an' spittin' nails after this, kid!" Shaggy exclaimed, finally getting his 'Mighty Mick' impression down. "Don't blow it! The stakes are high- you win this, an' yer name will be everywhere. Lose, an' people will forget ya even exist!"
"Okay, Shag, that's enough." Flip told him, then turned to Pugs. "You got quite the following now, Pugs. How does it feel to have so many fans, now?"
Pugs shrugged. "Would be better if I had a fan-girl," he joked.
Suddenly a blonde-haired woman with blue eyes, also having a scar on her neck, ran over and kissed Pugs on the lips, giving him a wink as she ran off.
"…Who the heck was that?" Shaggy asked (in his regular voice).
"…A fan-girl…?" Flip guessed with a shrug. He shook his head. "Never mind. Better get in your corner, Pugs! They're about to start!"
"Right. Let's get this over with- it's gonna be a short match, and I need to get home for dinner," Pugsy commented, climbing up into the ring.
"And here it is, folk, the fourth and final Wrestling event of the year!" Shawn announced. "Many have gathered in the arena to see whether or not Pugsy holds onto his champion title, but the way the month has been going for him, the debate seems to be in his favor."
"Tell me about it. With the hot-headed hot-shot's newfound popularity, a lot of people, and wild animals alike, haven't had the nerves to take him on… Until tonight!" Hulk said with a grin.
The audience then started to stomp, stomp-clap while Pugsy looked over to see who his competitor was.
Right now, all he could see coming down the lane was a silhouette in a bright light.
"Tell us about the daredevil who's taking him on tonight, Shawn!" Hulk announced.
"Well, you summed it up halfway, Hulk," Shawn replied. "The daring opponent is a daredevil of a character; weighing at an even 100 lbs (after weeks of training), and having a knack for taking on tough opponents twice her size, with an insanity-streak so long no asylum could measure it… Please welcome, ZEE. ISAIAH. PUGNACIOUS!"
The spotlights shined on Zippy… who just looked ahead at Pugsy, giving a mischievous smirk and a look that said, 'You're Dead'.
"ZIP?! Are you kidding me?" Pugsy stammered.
"Surprised?" Zippy questioned in sarcasm, climbing into the ring and walking up to him. She was wearing shorts, a tank-top, and for the first time since that 'Beauty Pageant' episode wasn't wearing her cap.
Pugsy scoffed. "Shouldn't have entered, ZIP. Vincent will kill me if I throttle his girlfriend,"
"Oh, no worries- I'll be putting you in a body-cast, so he won't have to."
"What makes you think you can beat me? I thought you weren't into sports!"
"No… but I went out for Wrestling in Junior High. It's the one sport I find myself liking," She then gave him a look. "Question is… what makes you think you'll beat me?"
Pugsy gave a glare, his fists clenching. "Because I've beaten every other non-superpowerfied goon in this city! Beating a shrimp like you will be no sweat!"
"Alright! That's enough trash-talk… Let your actions speak for themselves," Weasel announced, stepping between them. "I want a clean fight, as always- no ripping out spines, clawing out eyes, or biting. May the best man- or girl- win!"
*Ding Ding!*
"And there's the bell-" Shawn began to say.
"OOF!" Pugsy grunted, as without hesitation, Zippy tackled him to the ground!
In a cloud of dust, the loudmouth was getting his just deserts. In one moment, Zippy had him in a half nelson! In another dust-cloud scuffle, she had him pinned on his stomach, bending his knee clear up to his head! In another… she was reading a book while having him in a cradle-lock!
"C'mon, Pugs! You can do it! Zippy's not that tough for ya!" Shaggy called.
"You really mean that?" Flip questioned him.
"…no, but he needs some sort of support!"
Pugsy managed to escape Zippy's grasp, getting a hold on her and flipping her upside-down, slamming her to the ground. She sat up, shaking her head. "Oh, so you wanna play rough, do ya?!" she snarled with a smirk, then grabbed him by the arm and flipped him over her shoulders, sending him into the ropes!
He sprung towards her, and she bent backwards. In a second, Pugs was suddenly getting slammed on his back!
"Whoa! Let's watch that in slow-motion!" Shawn exclaimed, as the scene was replayed on a large screen.
"It looks like while Pugs was flying over, Zippy reached up and grabbed him by the ankles, then bent forward and slammed him onto the mat!" Hulk narrated.
Pugsy wasn't down for the count yet, as he stood up and grabbed Zippy by the heels, pulling her down and trapping her in a headlock! However, in a swirl, the tomboy had him in a head-and-arm-lock!
He rolled over, landing on top of her- and she ended up pushing him off into the corner. He then grabbed a chair, and threw it at her!
(About time that wrestling-gag got in here!)
But Zippy caught it, and launched it back, knocking him in the forehead. He saw birds flying around his head, as he grew dazed.
Zippy then knelt beside him. "Tell me. Why did you enter the competition?" she asked.
"…to win?" Pugsy repeated, confused.
Zippy shook her head. "You forgot, didn't you? When you forget your reason to win, you lose." She then climbed up onto a pole. "We'll continue this moral discussion later. Right now- BANZAAIIII!"
"AAAAUUUUGHH!"
*KER-SLAM!*
"OOOOOOH!" The entire audience, Shawn and Hulk all exclaimed.
Once the dust settled, Pugsy was unconscious, and Zippy was on top of him. "One! Two! Three! He's finally out!" Weasel exclaimed.
The audience was silent…
Then burst into a roar of applause. Shawn and Hulk went into the ring to congratulate Zippy, while Pugsy was hauled away on a stretcher. "That was some wrestling you did in there, Zippy!" Shawn exclaimed. "Who would've thought an underweight would be able to take on a heavyweight?!"
"The world wants to know, Zee- since so many daring punks weren't brave enough to take on Pugsy, what gave you the guts to try to go for the win?" Hulk asked.
Zippy shrugged. "Honestly… I just entered for the cash. My boyfriend could use it for his tuition- and I figured wrestling would be a fun way to earn it." She replied.
"And what would you have to say about Pugsy in your match?" Shawn asked.
"Honestly… I figured he'd have done better. But he was so focused on his pride that he lost sight in just giving it his all and trying. He claimed he was just entering it for entertainment… I guess the hype made him forget. I didn't care whether I won or not- I just wanted to try."
"Very noble."
"There you have it, folks- a daring girl who dominated amateur wrestling, and won the prize of $25,000! LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE NEW CHAMP!" Hulk roared.
Zippy was handed a wrestling-belt that said 'Amateur Champ', while receiving a large check. She turned into a news-camera. "Vince, you're staying in college!" she said, while blowing a kiss.
Meanwhile…
Vincent sat at home, watching the event on TV while smiling. "Thanks a lot, hon," he replied.
d~b
After the Wrestling Battle Royale was over with, everyone went back to their routines…
Save for Pugsy, who was sitting in the backyard wearing a leg-cast, his head bandaged, and sporting a black eye. "…okay, I understand… bye…" Shaggy was saying into his cell-phone, before hanging up. "Well, Pepsi© cancelled…"
"What did you do with all the merchandise?" Flip asked.
"I told him to burn it. I don't want to see anything that would remind me of this terrible month!" Pugsy griped. "First, you two work me to exhaustion; then, I become some ego-maniac; and then I get my butt kicked by Zippy! …I'll never hear the end of it!"
"Oh, c'mon, Pugs, it can't be that bad," Shaggy began to reassure.
Fangface came walking on-scene. "Ooh, ooh, heard the news, Pugs! *grr* Man, you must've let your A-Game slip several notches if you got beat up by a girl!" he chuckled.
Pugsy gave Shaggy a look that said 'See?!'. "Let's see YOU try to take her on, nit-wolf," he scoffed.
"CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" Zippy exclaimed, popping up out of nowhere- as always. She then tackled Fangface.
"OW! OOF! ZIPPY! AUGH! THAT DOESN'T BEND THAT WAAAY…!" Fangface cried off-screen.
A few seconds later, Zippy walked back. "If he wants a rematch, have him call me," she stated, then walked into the building.
Fangface came back… bent into a pretzel. "…This stays off Fakebook," he warned.
"Um… well… hey, we still made a boat-load of cash, too!" Flip exclaimed.
"Yeah! We made at least $5,000 off all that merchandise!" Shaggy added, holding up a wad of cash…
"…Which will help the budget for the next episode!" the co-author stated, walking by and taking the cash. "…Good investment, Shag- though try for a more stable one, next time."
Shaggy groaned, Flip sighed, and Pugsy rolled his eyes. "…this so wasn't worth earning my Man-Card back," the latter muttered.
d~b
A/N: And DONE! After weeks and weeks and WEEKS of writing, it's finally done! :D
…I'll be playing videogames until the next episode.
PS, if anyone recognized the OC who gave Pugs a kiss- you will receive many cookies. :)
Please review, don't flame, and let's hope it doesn't take an eternity to write the next one!