Michele's Note/MN: I failed to let the new readers who may stumble upon this story on this site that this is a reader insert story. It is a popular method of writing on Tumblr. I am using this site to park this story for my Tumblr followers. If you happen upon it, welcome and I hope you enjoy.

Torn 22

It had been seven whole days since you went to Abnegation and Eric had yet to hear anything from you. You would not answer his calls. He fought every minute of the day not to head to Abnegation and kick down your door. He knew if he did that you would draw back further from him. Eric as always maintain his serious, hard demeanor as top Dauntless leader in public, but his usual clean-cut appearance started to falter a little as a stubble started to grow on his handsome face. He had given up shaving. He also found himself drinking more at night to try to fill the hole you and Abbey had left. He often worked late as he did not want to go to an empty home. He would often find himself in your apartment in your bed just to be around you and Abbey's scent. When he was home alone his spirit was crushed. It showed in the appearance of his usual pristine apartment. Dishes were piling in the sink, his bedroom had the appearance of an unkempt teenager. Dirty clothes were strung on the floor, junk food wrappers littered the floor.

He missed you and his daughter immensely. Every minute of the day he thought back of why he was such a fool and let things between you and him get so bad. If he just been faithful, he would have his family with him. He looked at his tablet again and sighed. He already called you twice today and you did not answer. He had no idea how you were holding up as his contact he had in Abnegation had yet to see you. He knew his daughter was fine because your family would often take Abbey on walks in her stroller, but no one has seen you leave your building yet. Eric pulled up the pictures of Abbey in her stroller on one of her many outings. She seemed like she had grown so much in just seven days. His contact was taking photos to keep Eric in the loop. He really wanted to see you. Eric decided he would try to hold out for another couple of days and if he has not seen or heard from you he was heading to Abnegation.

"Sweetheart, Four and Tris are here to see you." Your mom told you as she peeped her head into your room. You looked up from your tablet and smiled.

"Send them back."

"You sure you are up for the company?"

"Yes mom."

You wanted to jump from the bed and hug Four when you saw him, and Tris enter your room.

"Four! Tris! It's so good to see you. What brings you by?" You asked sitting your tablet on the nightstand. Eric had called you again putting you in a foul mood. Seeing Four and Tris will surely lift your spirits.

"We are going to spend the night and give your family a break." Four told you as he sat on the edge of your bed.

"That is sweet of you two. Are you sure?" You looked over at Tris who was standing at the end of the bed looking a little uncomfortable as she did not know if she could sit on your bed or let alone be in your bedroom.

"Tris sit down hun." You told her. You saw a brief look of relief as she sat on the edge of your bed next to Four. Four must have told her all the details of your relationship with him for her to appear so uncomfortable.

"Yes, we are sure." Four told you as he grabbed and squeezed your hand.

"Thank you so much." You smiled at them both. Your smile faded when you heard your tablet ring again. Without looking you knew it would be Eric. Four saw your reaction.

"He tries to put on a brave face, but Eric has been a mess without you." Four informed you. "He is even growing a beard. I have never seen him not shave. He is always so clean cut. Also, I have been smelling alcohol on him."

"He is also a lot harder in training." Tris chimed in.

"I can't see him right now."

"I understand." Four squeezed your hand again.

Your mom walked in your room with Abbey.

"Can I hold her?" Tris asked hopefully.

"Of course." You told her as your mom handed Abbey to Tris.

"Four if you need anything you have my number. She will need her shots in a few."

"Ok. We will be fine." Four got up and hugged your mother. Your mom leaned in and kissed your forehead and then her granddaughter's.

"Call me if you need me. I am a few doors down."

As Tris held Abbey, all three of you talked and they informed you of all that was going on at Dauntless. About an hour later you heard your tablet alert sound, you sighed as that was the sound that you needed your shots.

"What's wrong?" Four ask seeing the small frown on your face.

"It's time for my shots."

"Would you like me to call your mom?"

"No. You can give them to me."

"Are you sure?" Four asked.

"Of course, I'm sure. They are in the fridge on the top shelf. Grab two." Four quickly got up and retrieved two syringes. "Tris, would you mind taking Abbey out into the living room. I don't want to see or hear me when I get my shots."

"Sure." Tris kissed Abbey's cheek as she got up from the bed and went into the living room. When Four reentered the room, you asked him to grab a washcloth laying on the sink in your bathroom. As Four retrieved a washcloth you unbutton your top and took it off. Four walked back into the room just before you could cover your bare breast with your pillow. He stopped in his tracks staring at you. As quickly as you could you pulled the pillow to cover your breast.

"Sorry." You said sheepishly. Four snapped out of his trance and told you it was ok. As Four sat down on the bed you explained to him how he needed to give you your shots. You took the washcloth, rolled it up and put it in your mouth to muffle your cries. The shots were very painful and caused you to cry out in pure agony. It scared Abbey so you started to muffle your screams with a washcloth. You gripped the pillow tight and turned your back to Four. Four slowly removed your large bandage that covered your burn. He did little to hide his gasp as he saw the extent of your injury.

"My God." He whispered. If Eric was not already a miserable mess Four would have knock the shit out of him the next time he saw him. Four just could not fathom how you still loved Eric after everything he put you through. Love was truly blind. "You ready?" he asked as he position the syringe at the top right of your back. You nodded yes. As Four gave you your shots tears streamed down your face as the washcloth muffled most of your screams. You felt the serum painfully course through your back as it slowly worked to heal you. You were physically exhausted about the time Four finished and put fresh bandages on your back.

"Are you ok?" Four asked as you slowly positioned yourself back in bed in the upright position. You nodded yes as you took the washcloth out your mouth. Four wiped your tears away with his fingers and kissed both sides of your cheek.

"It's going to be ok." He assured you.

"I hope so."

"Are you hungry? I can cook something for us."

"That would be nice Four. Thank you so much." Four kissed your forehead. "Anything for you."

You smiled at him as he headed to the kitchen. After a few moments Tris walked back in the room with Abbey. She was getting fussy.

"She must be hungry." Tris said as she handed your daughter to you.

"Yes, she is. Thanks for watching her."

"No problem. I'm going to run and see my parents really quick."

"Ok, I will see you when you get back."

As Tris left you nursed Abbey and she soon fell asleep latched onto you. You slowly got up from the bed despite your aching back and put her in her crib across the room.

You had the best time since your assault with Tris and Four. It was so good to have them over and they took your mind off negative thoughts that constantly invade your mind. Four made a delicious vegetarian meal for you three and after hours of talking Tris and Four made themselves home in the guest bedroom and resided for the night. You were almost asleep when you got a text from Eric asking you to call him. You knew he was trying to get you to call him because Tris and Four were there. You knew Eric and knew he would be having someone keep tabs on you. You sat up and looked at the screen. He had called and text you a total of 11 times. It was getting excessive and he was getting on your nerves. You sighed as you finally sent him a text asking what he wanted. Within seconds he replied he wanted to talk to you. You told him you had just laid down and will call him tomorrow.

If I don't hear from you by noon I am coming over!

You rolled your eyes at his response, threw the tablet on the night stand and went back to bed. You woke up to the smell of breakfast and the sound of your daughter laughing in the kitchen. You slowly rose from the bed and found Four, Tris and Abbey in the kitchen. You smiled at the warm scene of all of them in the kitchen. Four was kind enough to cook breakfast.

"Good morning," Tris got up from the table, and handed your daughter to you. "You are just in time. I think she is hungry for breakfast."

"Yes, she is." You said as you sat down. You lifted your shirt and fed Abbey as Four and Tris set the table for breakfast. As you all ate breakfast you could hear your tablet go off in multiple alert sessions.

"I think it would be best to let him come on over and see you and Abbey." Four stated stuffing sautéed vegetables in this mouth. "He will keep calling and pestering you."

"I know." You sighed. It was time for him to come over. You could no longer keep Eric from his child. Later that after noon you were sadden as you gave Tris and Four goodbye hugs.

"We will be back later this week to see you." Four planted a kiss on your forehead.

"I look forward to it."

After dialing your mom to let her know Four and Tris had left you reluctantly texted Eric. He immediately replied. You told him if he was coming over you would need a few supplies from Dauntless.

I will be there in a few hours.

His text read. You silently prayed to the universe for strength.

"What is all that Eric?" Dara asked as Eric put large bags on the kitchen counter.

"Food." Eric tried his best to control his tone and the speed of his answer. He turned around and retrieve the rest of the items you requested from his jeep. Dara walked over to the bags to see what Eric brought. She found a few personal hygiene products. As she continued looking in each bag she frowns when she found a bag full of meat products. Dara turned around when Eric entered back into the house holding a mirror and a few more bags. He shut the door with his boot.

"A mirror? She doesn't need a mirror there is one behind the sliding panel in the hallway." Dara told Eric as he sat the mirror and more bags on the kitchen table this time.

"She wants a mirror in the bathroom." Eric simply stated.

"She doesn't need all this meat." Dara complained looking in the bags he just sat down.

"I think you are forgetting your daughter is Dauntless. Where is she?"

"In her room sleep." Dara decided not to argue with Eric. As she looked at his retreating back heading to your room she silently wished you had ended up with Four. She despised Eric Coulter.

You stirred from your slumber when you heard Eric's voice softly call your name. You slowly opened your eyes to find him standing over you. You held back a gasp as you took in his appearance. His usual clean-cut face now carried a scruffy beard. To an untrained eye in Dauntless he may still appear well put together, but you could see a minute dishevel in his appearance. His eyes said it all to you, as he gazed down at you the sadness and hurt in them were overwhelming.

"I brought you the stuff you requested," He told you as he kneeled by the bed. You slowly sat up and thanked him. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. The serum is working. It just hurts like hell though."

"It will get better with time."

You both stared at each other in silence. You both had so much to say to one another, but you knew it would end up in an argument and you were too exhausted for that. You assume Eric was just happy to see you and did not want to ruin the moment. Eric softly caressed your cheek and you sighed in response to his touch. You did miss him. You just wish being with him was not so problematic. A soft smile spread across Eric's face when he heard his daughter waking up from her slumber. He quickly got up and went over to her crib and picked her up. Abbey immediately clung to her father for a few moment until she motioned for you. Eric handed her to you, sat on the edge of the bed and watched as you nursed. As you did back in Dauntless you handed Abbey to her father for him to burp her.

You watched as Eric held his daughter.

"Despite everything I have missed you Eric."

Eric looked up from Abigail, a small frown displayed on his handsome face.

"Then why did you leave?" He asked sharply.

You rolled your eyes at him. "Don't act stupid Eric. You know exactly why I left."

"We could have worked it out without you leaving Dauntless."

"Could've, would've, should've…what's done is done."

Eric clenched his jaw to keep from arguing with you. He lifted Abbey up to his lips and gave her several kisses on her cheek.

"How much longer do you plan on saying here?"

"I don't know."

"I think it's best you come home."

"Not now Eric."

"I need you back Dauntless!" Eric's voice was rising. You just looked at him without responding. You were not going to argue with him. Eric got up from the bed, put Abbey in the crib and sat back on the bed next to you.

"I have given you space. What more do you want me to do? How do I get you back?"

You knew he was in pain. It showed all over his face, but he would never feel the pain you had been through and was still going through.

"There is nothing you can do Eric."

You might as well have stabbed him in the heart from the expression on his face.

"Don't tell me that. I do not accept that." Eric's voice was stern and purposeful. "You know me better than that. You know I will not tolerate this separation for much longer."

"I don't give a damn what you will or will not tolerate. I will come back when I want to come back!" He was working your nerves already and it he was not even in your presence a good hour. Eric's anger level shot several levels and his response was in anger and defense.

"This is bullshit! You are Dauntless, and I can have Max order you back at any moment at MY say so!"

As soon as the words spilled out his mouth he regretted them because he saw you instantly withdraw back into yourself. You had a staring match for a few seconds before you told him to get out. He didn't budge.

"I didn't mean it." Eric said trying to backtrack.

"Yes, you did. I need for you to go now."

"Can I come by tomorrow?" He asked hopeful looking over at Abbey's crib.

"Not tomorrow. Maybe in a couple of days."

"Don't do this Y/N."

"Eric…leave." You said more forcefully and a little louder where your mom heard you and rushed into the room. She felt the tension.

"Coulter, you need to leave."

Eric finally stood up not wanting to make the situation worse, kissed his daughter and told you to call him if you needed anything. Eric held his composure as he walked to his jeep, drove back to Dauntless, walked the halls to his apartment and made it safely inside before he lost it. He found himself punching holes in the walls in his living room well into his bedroom when he was done his fists were a bloody mess. When he finally calmed down, he tended to his fists and put in a request to maintenance, grabbed a glass and a full bottle of whisky, sat at the kitchen table and started drinking.

It had been three days since Eric had visited. He had called and texted often. You decided not to ignore his text and audio calls, but you did not take his visual calls. The audio calls were short as you assured him you and Abbey were fine and you will have him come over again soon. The text was usually the same way. He often checked to see if you needed anything. You did send pictures of Abbey to him often and he seemed grateful for the pictures. You had heard from Four about the maintenance request to fix his walls in his apartment and you figured he was drinking more than usual as his texts and calls after a certain time were demanding and annoying. You knew he was hurting and you tried to entertain him as much as possible, but it had gotten to the point that you turn your tablet to silent after a certain hour. In the morning you woke up to missed calls and drunk text messages. Sometimes the messages were pleading for you to come back to him and they left you in tears. He was causing you so much pain. You loved him so much, but it hurt to love him so much. You wondered every day as you looked at your daughter if you both could go back to him. You could go back to Dauntless, but could you go back to Eric? You just did not know what to do. You called your best friend Jen and she told you that the best thing for you to do was come back to Dauntless and face your fears head on. You will have to deal with Eric sooner or later because he was the father of your child. You did not have to be with him. You could successfully co-parent together. Jen told you she had a feeling once you were back at the Dauntless compound Eric would get his shit together and do whatever it takes to win you back.

"I do think you need to just co-parent because Eric as a partner is a lot and he takes a lot from you physically and mentally. You need to focus on yourself. Why does this advice sound familiar?"

You rolled your eyes and sucked your teeth at your friend over the call. Yes, she gave you this advice before and you did not listen. You wondered if you would have the strength to not fall into Eric's arms once back at Dauntless. You knew the father of your child and he always got what he wanted and that included you and Abbey. You sighed as you ended your call to Jen. What were you going to do?

"You haven't been outside since you got here. You are feeling a lot better and your back is healing well. Why don't you and Abbey go for a walk?" Your mom asked. "I brought over some of your old clothes."

You grimaced as you looked at your old clothes your mom threw across your bed. You would not be caught dead in those dresses. You probably could not fit them anymore anyway since having Abbey.

"I'm not wearing those."

"Well you can't wear black clothes while you are staying here. It's disrespectful."

"I know mom. I already thought about it and I will need to go back to Dauntless to get some clothes made. You think you can take me tomorrow?"

"Sure." Dara wondered what kind of Abnegation clothes you would have made that the many seamstress in Abnegation could not make for you.

"All done sir." Tony told Eric as he removed the cape from around Eric's neck. He brushed a few hairs that were still on Eric's neck after his haircut and thanked him for coming in.

"Thank you, Tony. You always do an excellent job." Eric told him as he looked at his reflection in the mirror and handed Tony a generous tip. He had to keep his barber happy as he was the only one who Eric would let touch his hair. Eric headed out to the busy street of Dauntless consumers entering and exiting shops. Eric looked up and down the rows of shops and was thinking if you or Abbey needed anything. Eric was deep in thought as he pulled out his tablet to see if you texted him anything you may need when he heard the distinct giggle of his little girl. Eric's head snapped up to the sound and he saw you, holding Abbey laughing at her giggles, and your mom walking beside you carrying a bag. You didn't notice you were walking toward him as your attention was on Abbey, but Dara saw him and grabbed your arm to get your attention. You followed your mom's gaze and looked over at him, Eric caught the micro expression of slight disappointment. You were hoping he would be busy at work and you could make it in and out of Dauntless undetected. Eric walked up to you.

"What are you doing here?"

You frown at his greeting. He was the one hounding you about returning to Dauntless.

"I'm going to Nova's. I need a few pieces made." Abbey looked up at her father with a smile and reached for a silver button on his jacket that was glistening in the sun. You pulled Abbey's arm away from her father. You knew Eric would not show any affection toward Abbey in public. He had to maintain his reputation after all. Eric caught you off guard when he frowned at your gesture.

You started towards the custom apparel shop with Eric walking beside you.

"What are you having made?"

"I don't know yet." You answered honestly. You were hoping the shop owner could give you some ideas.

Nova's custom apparel was exactly as you imagined. Total Dauntless and goth looking. Black painted walls, goth décor littered the shop with beautiful custom-made clothes lined up on racks. The shop was very busy with Dauntless members shopping for clothes and when you entered with Eric, your mom and Abbey it seems the shop went quiet as everyone stared at you and the well-known Dauntless leader. Yes, yes, I'm the baby momma, you wanted to scream.

"Nova!" Eric called. You followed Eric up to the register as a woman appeared from behind black velvet curtains. Your mouth fell open at her beauty. She was a tall, slender, dark-brown skinned woman with a buzz cut. Both her arms were decorated with tattoos as she walked around the register with a beautiful smile on her face, you noticed she had tattoos on her flat abs that were shown off by her midriff shirt. The side of her right face had a cluster of various shape star tattoos. She looked at Abbey's father up and down in admiration and you felt the familiar feeling of jealousy and dread. Not another one. After Nova and Eric exchanged pleasantries she turned her attention to you and the genuine smile that crossed her face to you caught you by surprised. You were prepared for a look of disdain.

"You must be Y/N! You are more beautiful than I ever imagined. Is this little Abbey?" Nova outstretched her arms and you did not hesitate to let her hold Abbey. There was something about her that was so pleasant, pure and honest. All the dread you felt just dissipated as you watch Abbey take to the dark-skinned beauty.

"She is absolutely stunning. She looks like the both of you!" She gave Abbey several kisses on her chubby cheeks. "What can I do for you today?" Nova asked you as she carried little Abbey behind the counter still giving her kisses. She made no effort to hand you or Eric back your daughter.

"I wanted to get some outfits made. I am staying at Abnegation right now and I need to dress appropriately but yet hold onto my Dauntless faction."

"How long do you plan on staying to need clothes made?!" Eric asked sharply. You ignored him and continued telling Nova what you needed. Nova ignored him too as she handed your mom Abbey and immediately started sketching on her sketchpad on her counter. Eric's tablet went off and he mumbled something about stopping by later, but you barely heard him as you marveled at how quickly Nova sketched up a few outfit ideas for you.

"These are stunning Nova!"

"Thank you. I was thinking of mixing Abnegation with Dauntless we can keep the dresses but not as baggy and long. Of course, we will keep the gray, but I want to add black leggings. We can switch the colors gray legging and black mid long tops, etc. I will add just a little Dauntless flair not too disrespectful."

"That would be perfect." You were beaming.

"You have such a beautiful smile." Nova complimented.

"Thank you."

"Come behind the curtain and let me get your measurements."

As Nova wrapped the tape measure around your back and breast you winced a little as she pulled it tight to get an accurate measurement.

"I'm so sorry. Are you healing well?"

Of course, she would know. All of Dauntless knew.

"I am thank you."

Nova changed the subject as she continued to get your measurements. She walked you and your mom out and told you she would be done in a few days and will give you a call. You really liked her. You decided to pick up a few things before heading home. Once home you nursed Abbey, put her down for her nap and your mom gave you your shots. Once the pain subsided. Eric text you that he was on his way over. You vaguely remember him saying he was going to stop by in Nova's shop. As you got up from the bed you rationalized with yourself that you needed to start incorporating seeing him more often to transition in returning to Dauntless where you will see him every day.

"Mom, Eric is coming over."

Dara rolled her eyes. "Do you want me to stay?"

"No, I think we will be ok. I have to start letting him back in. He is Abigail's father."

"Yes, he is love, but do not let him take you for granted. You remember what he has put you through. Don't find yourself back there again. You are worth more than that and you know it." She told you before she left.

Your mom was right. In all honesty you were too good for Eric. You were deep in thought making something to eat in the kitchen and counting the ways you were a great woman and mother when you heard Eric's jeep door slam shut. He must have only been ten minutes away when he texted you. You went to open the door before he knocked. He walked right in without an invitation. You told yourself to let it go as you shut the door and turned around to look at Abigail's father.

"Don't you ever pull my daughter away from me in public again." Eric seethed.

Fuck! Here we go, you thought.