User: mbali , thankyou for the feedback. One thing I will say is that it's not supposed to be exactly like the anime. Hinata stutters when she is not used to someone, nervous, embarrassed or scared/upset. It gets better as she gets more comfortable. I hope this chapter answers some of your reviews.
It may be a little all over the place as I've had a hectic week at uni and the minimal spare time I've had, I've rushed through this.
To make up for it, it is longer than all of the rest and answers some of the questions you guys have been asking.
Feel free to give feedback, good or bad, and tell me if you enjoyed it.
WARNING: This chapter may be upsetting or triggering for some people. It contains assault and if you know that you can't handle that, please do not read.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. If I did, I wouldn't be eating so many two minute noodles.
Gaara had his head down at his desk, looking at all the paperwork he has to do. He talked to the councilmembers about giving him more responsibility and though they were very reluctant, he managed to get what he needed. He knew that there was more he needed to do, but he would ease into it. Making too many changes so shortly would scare the councilmembers, and even though he was Kazekage he needed their approval for most things, scaring them might cause them to overthrow him, and he couldn't have that until he had changes made. He wasn't going to let the villagers live in constant fear of starvation or losing their business because a couple of old men are stuck in their ways. He knew none of them enjoyed having him as Kazekage, but it was his right and they had no reason to overthrow him since he hadn't been on a rampage since he attained the position. He wish his sister was here to help him make these decisions, but he still hadn't proved to her that he had changed and he couldn't do that by taking her away from the man she stayed in Konoha for. Perhaps he could send a missive to Kankoro, he saw more of the new Gaara than Temari had before she left for negotiations. That's why Kankoro had left, because he knew that Gaara now didn't need him to stop the monster from killing the villagers. He could control himself now.
Gaara took out another piece of paper and scribbled a couple of words. After putting his official Kazekage seal on it, Gaara turned towards the window and signalled for the messenger bird to take it to his brother.
When the bird had taken the missive with instructions, Gaara heard that soft knock on his door again. He sighed, now he would have to deal with a cowering, fearful maid as she cleaned up his office while he tried to work. Hopefully he could just stay behind his desk and not frighten her too much that she neglects to put his papers in the correct order.
"Enter." He said gruffly, thinking of ways that he could appear as small as possible so his office could get the cleaning it desperately needed.
The door opened slightly and a tuft of dark blue hair came out of the side. Gaara's stomach gave that same sort of jumping response it had last time and he covered it with his hand, willing it to go away.
Next came her small head and the pearl white eyes that he had been thinking about non-stop since she had walked into his small house.
"U-Um. I-I've come to c-clean your office?" She said hesitantly. She didn't appear frightened, just unsure. Like she was waiting for a cruel joke that had been played on her. After Gaara had just nodded at her, willing himself not to speak, she opened the door wider and walked through, broom in hand and cleaning products in the other.
His eyes grew wide when he noticed her outfit, surely it wasn't that short on the other maids. Hinata seemed to fill it out more than it should have been, it perfectly showing her curves, her slim waist and nearly her entire thighs. It was a black dress with a frilly white apron and it almost looked like lingerie. He could tell she thought the same way as she seemed very uncomfortable in it, it was a large change from her baggy clothes or long dress that he had first seen her wear. This was not the standard uniform and he was sure someone had played a joke on Hinata without her even realizing it. She looked amazing, he wasn't going to lie. He had never felt such a powerful attraction to a woman before in his life, her pinking cheeks just adding to her innocent charm. He wouldn't let this go, however, and he tore his eyes away from her and pulled out another piece of paper, going to complain to his head of staff. He had never liked the woman, too strict for sure, but she was always professional. There's no way she saw Hinata and couldn't tell that she wasn't wearing proper attire, it could have even been her idea.
Gaara motioned for Hinata to start cleaning and starting furiously writing his letter, telling himself to stay concentrated on his work and not stare at her the entire time she was in his office.
It was going to be a long day.
It was going to be a long day.
Hinata sighed. Last time she had come here she had been so nervous she didn't realize how messy it was. There was clothes, food and random pieces of paper all around the room, not to mention a frowning Kazekage behind his intimidating desk. She wasn't scared of him, but she felt like she was intruding on his space. He seemed to ignore her but every now and then he'd look up and their eyes would lock. He seemed familiar, but she knew she had only met him the once, and she would have remembered those eyes. Those beautiful eyes.
Hinata picked up the bin and put all the food scraps in it, finding so much food left on the plates. Did this man ever finish eating his food? He was thin, but he didn't look starving. Next were his clothes, they were strewn all over the floor of the room, his desk, leading up to the door for his room.
Hinata picked up a few clothes, hauling them over her arm. She would have to take them to the laundry, she wrinkled her nose as she aired them out and dust flew everywhere. One pair of pants had been eaten by moths and Hinata didn't know what to do.
"K-Kazekage. S-Should I throw these in the b-bin?" Hinata asked hesitantly. Holding the moth eaten pants out so the Kazekage could clearly see why she was asking. Her face flamed when she realized where exactly the moths had eaten, somewhere that could not be repaired.
She swore she saw a tinge of pink come into his face when he saw them, but it was gone in a second and he just nodded his affirmation.
Picking up the clothes had been hard, especially some of his robes as they were incredibly heavy. She wondered how the Kazekage even wore these without breaking a sweat, but then she realized she had never actually seen him wear them. She had seen him in the casual clothes he wore today. A dark red shirt and dark red pants, with a harness around his shoulders and middle, it suited him perfectly with his red hair and dark rings around his eyes. He had such a powerful presence no matter what he wore. He could probably wear her maids outfit and still look good.
The image that came into her head after that thought made her laugh out loud. She tried to put her hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing further but instead she got a whole face full of the Kazekage's robes that she had picked up. Immediately she threw them back on the floor in shock, her senses still aware of the musky, woodland scent coming off of them, knowing he must have worn them not too long ago. Her face was beet red as she quickly scooped all the clothes in her hands again and walked as fast as possible out of the door to the laundry.
This was not how she expected her day to go.
~~~
Gaara didn't know what had just happened. Hinata had been picking up his clothes and then started laughing, and then sniffing his clothes.
Perhaps she is daft? He thought to himself. He thought about her handling his clothing, he could smell his scent mixing with the soft lillies that seemed to surround her. He was getting no work done, he knew he could easily send for another maid and dismiss Hinata from this job but part of him didn't want to. She had such a relaxing atmosphere and already the office air seemed cleaner, fresher, easier to breathe. He contented himself with the fact that she had opened the window earlier, thus allowing the warm air to float through the room.
He remembered her laugh again, the soft tinkling sound swam around his head. He wondered what she had been so amused by. A voice inside his head told him that she was laughing at him, that she was taunting him, hurting him in her mind. He didn't completely believe the voice anymore, but he still felt his stomach churn at the thought, still unused to these strange effects. Before he had never experienced things like anxiety or the swirling excitement In his stomach since his childhood. He had locked up all of his emotions, forgot how to feel. He remembered fear, of course. Fear of assassins, fear of never being loved, and fear of the dark even. But he hadn't felt it since he had decided not to feel a thing anymore. The only excitement he had gotten was right before a kill, especially when they decided to put up a fight, he liked those moments the most. Just thinking about it made Gaara close his eyes and meditate so he wouldn't get the urge again. He knew he wouldn't go on a rampage, but he didn't want to lose the control he had worked so hard to get back. He relaxed and thought about all the reasons he became Kazekage and what he wants to do to improve the village. He didn't realize that he was exhausted to the point of sleep until he woke up later that night with his head on his desk, inside a clean office, covered with the soft quilt from his bed.
His first thought was how defenceless he had been. He knew that his ability to control the sand would protect him even when he slept, an ultimate defense it was called. But the sand hadn't protected him from someone draping a quilt over him, which had never happened before. He wondered if he was sick, but he didn't feel the drowsily numb feeling which he usually did when he had an illness.
He then thought of who would get close enough, even touch him, to cover him in a blanket? There was only one person who would have dared. Even now he could still make out the sweet scent of lilies surrounding the room. He closed his eyes and thought of the blue haired female and imagined her draping the soft quilt over him, even tucking it in to ensure it didn't fall off of his back. He felt a warmth light inside of his chest. 'Perhaps,' he thought to himself, 'she won't run. Perhaps I can tell her who I am and she'll stay around me.' As soon as the thought entered his head, however, the voice came alive again, calling him all types of a fool. Of course she would get close when she didn't know what kind of sick monster he was. As soon as she found out she'd leave you, she'd look at you with those eyes full of fear and she would leave.
Gaara stood, shaking the quilt off of his shoulders. He just wouldn't tell her. He'd see her while she works in his tower, and when she finds out and runs away, he'll still see her at night, in the comfort of his little house. He wondered if she'd be there now, but he decided to stay in the tower, figuring he'd get more work done if he wasn't distracted by her presence.
~~~
Hinata had gone to the little house in the clearing, thinking to tell Sabaku about her day. When she realized that he wasn't there she tried to relax and have that same comfortable feeling but it just wouldn't come. After waiting an hour, Hinata went home. She thought about the red-head who had fallen asleep by the time she had returned from the laundry. He had looked so peaceful, so… childlike. It was like seeing an entirely different side to the stoic and controlled Kazekage. He didn't look so powerful or intimidating while he was asleep. The heat had died down by the time she had gotten into the office and was replaced by a cold breeze. After shutting the window she had argued with herself whether or not to wake up the peaceful man but she decided against it. Anyone who fell asleep with their head on newly inked letters needed their rest, so she carried the large quilt over to him and laid it over his shoulders, hopefully he wouldn't fire her for the familiarity.
Hinata felt lonely as she came back to her house in the village. It was quiet and cold. She wished she had someone who she could tell about her day, but she'll just have to wait until tomorrow.
As she laid herself out on the little bed she wondered what she'll be asked to do tomorrow, feeling a pang of disappointment at the thought of not seeing the Kazekage again. It was a large tower, and the chances of her getting to work around him were minimal, especially since she had used all of her power to thoroughly clean the office. Her bones ached and she wished for a hot bath.
She walked through town to the local bathhouse and wrung her fingers together. Last time she had come here she had been denied entry, instead she had found a small lake of water to bathe herself in. Sometimes it was freezing when she had to go at night, her teeth would chatter and her bones would ache worse. Her mother had always valued cleanliness, but after she had died, they had banned her from the bathhouse so she had to find alternative options. But right now she couldn't stomach the thought of the freezing cool water, so she would ditch her pride and beg for a hot bath if she had to. Her mother had left emergency money that she could use to pay the meagre fare, since she wouldn't have been paid yet.
When she made it to the front desk, she gave the lady a tentative smile, still feeling the nerves threatening to bubble out of her.
"U-Um.. C-Can I-I p-pay for a b-b-bath?" Hinata inwardly cringed at the stutter becoming so prominent. This was a bad start. Even before her mother's death, the villagers had always been wary of her stutter, along with her white eyes. They had said she was a bad look for the village, dumb and blind.
"Are you Hinata Hyuuga?" The lady asked. Hinata's heart stopped, thinking that someone recognised her from the past and then chided herself again. This lady had met her before, she would have remembered her then.
"Y-Yes."
The ladies eyes seemed to grow and she even stuttered a bit, "W-Well of course you can. And it's on the house. You can come here anytime no problem. Be our guest."
Hinata seemed a bit taken aback by this, not entirely sure if she was playing a joke on her or being serious. The lady even looked frightened.
"Please use our bath and relax. Here, have some free soap."
Hinata took it warily, and then followed the lady to the female bathing area. She was reluctant but the moment she saw the hot, steamy water her muscles started to relax. Finally, a nice warm bath.
As soon as her body touched the water, Hinata sunk down. Revelling in the warmth and the way it seeped into her bones, taking away the ache from the long day. Another woman came into the bath then and also started relaxing.
"Hey! You're Hinata, aren't you? How are you?" Said the bright brunette. Hinata took a while to place her but then remembered the kind nurse at the hospital.
"M-Matsuri, how nice to see you. I-I am doing well, and you?" She was more comfortable around the nurse, she treated Hinata like an old friend instead of just a patient. Hinata was thankful, perhaps now she would feel the same sort of comfort she would get with Sabaku.
"I'm doing great now with this bath! What did you get up to today?" Her smile was infectious and Hinata relaxed a bit more.
"I-I had my first day at the K-kazekage Tower today. It went really well."
A sly grin worked up Matsuri's face and she eyed Hinata with a knowing look. "Did you see the Kazekage?"
She could feel her cheeks heating up and hoped Matsuri thought it was from the heat of the bath. "Y-Yes I worked in his office."
"He looks nice, doesn't he? With his dark hair and gorgeous eyes. You're lucky to be close to him."
Hinata looked at her quizzically, "I-I wouldn't call it b-being close. H-He was just there while I worked."
Matsuri laughed, her eyes landing on the poor blue-haired girl. He still hadn't told her who brought her into the hospital. Glowing eyes and anxious face. The Kazekage looked like death when he brought her in, growling for the best treatment as fast as they could. Matsuri had known Gaara through his brother, Kankoro, and she hadn't seen him ever look that way. Though she could still imagine him being a killer, she knew the way he looked after this girl showed his character now. He hadn't gone on a rampage since becoming Kazekage, and though there hadn't been huge changes, people had started having more food to eat and more jobs became available in the village and it grew. No one was starved – unless it was by the council's suggestion – and they always had work. The Kazekage has definitely changed, it's a shame that the village still holds him in such fear, probably since they haven't seen him since his last rampage.
Matsuri looked at the blushing girl, thinking of how lucky she was. She knew from the way he looked at her that the Kazekage held feelings for Hinata. She wondered when he would tell her, or if he would tell her.
Matsuri almost considered telling her now, but figured she'd let them find each other on their own.
What she really wanted to know was when Kankoro was coming back, the bastard. Gaara, the Kazekage was attractive, but Kankoro was the one she loved. They had been friends nearly all of their life and she had pined for him like a schoolgirl. Just before he left they had been talking outside on the roof of the tower, watching the stars and talking about everything. He was always so happy-go-lucky but he was serious when he wanted to be. He talked about how he was worried that his brother would never find someone because of his past, even though he had definitely changed. She still remembered exactly what he had said.
"I'm scared, Matty. He was never shown love, doesn't even know what love is. I want him to have that feeling, but I don't know if any girl would look at him, really look at him, and see past a monster. He's really changed now. The other day he even made a joke and nearly smiled, and he's really trying to become a better person. That Naruto kid really changed him for the better. I just wish that I could help him."
Matsuri cupped his painted face with her hand and looked into his eyes.
"Just love him like you're doing now, Kankoro, which is helping him. You're an amazing brother, most guys wouldn't have stayed with him after all he's done. But you saw past that. I'm sure someone else will see past that too."
Kankoro had looked at her then, really looked at her. He looked like he was about to say something but instead he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. It was amazing, just what she had been waiting for.
Then he left.
Left to go find other women and kiss them too, Matsuri frowned. Bastard.
~~~
Hinata watched the woman go from incredibly friendly to dreamy to downright menacing in the space of thirty seconds and was really confused.
"U-Um are you o-okay? Matsuri?" She asked tentatively.
Matsuri seemed to break out of whatever she was thinking and gave Hinata another one of her friendly smiles.
"Of course! Sorry I was in my own head for a bit there."
"I-It's okay." Hinata smiled back at her. She was so easy to like, to get along with. Hinata hoped she could become friends with the friendly woman.
"About Ga- the Kazekage, don't be scared of him, okay? He has a past but he's really good now and he's done a lot for the village, even though the villagers don't really appreciate it. Try to look at the real him." She said, looking at Hinata very carefully, watching for any outward signs.
Hinata blushed again, confused to as why Matsuri, as well as Naruto, were asking this of her.
"I-I don't think he's a bad person. W-What is his past?"
Matsuri seemed to think long and hard about this, sinking a bit lower in the public bath and biting her lip. "I think he should be the one to tell you himself. But until then, please just take care of him."
Tilting her head a bit to the side, Hinata watched as Matsuri waited for her answer and then nodded at her.
"Oh, and if a man called Kankoro comes by the Tower, let me know straight away. I need to have a word with him."
Hinata knew of Kankoro, had never talked to him but she saw him around town, a different lady each time on his arm. She nodded again. If she could do this for Matsuri, maybe they'd become friends, and Hinata would love to be friends with this friendly nurse.
For the rest of their time spent in the bath, Matsuri told Hinata about her day at the hospital and they spoke about nothing important. It was just what Hinata needed to end her day. After they parted – and Matsuri gave Hinata a big hug, something she'd missed – Hinata fell into a sound sleep. Dreaming of Red-headed Kazekage's and deep voices that make a cold house feel like home.
Hinata went to work the next day, dressed again in her small, revealing outfit to be greeted by the head of staff herself, holding out the proper uniform with a grumbled apology. Hinata hadn't realized that her uniform wasn't standard and grew beet red, knowing that the Kazekage had seen her in such an embarrassing state. As she'd thought, she didn't get assigned anywhere near the Kazekage and instead spent her day hanging out washing in the warm breeze. In Suna, wet clothes took no time at all to dry and the staff had to be careful they weren't out that long, otherwise they'd become stiff and unusable. Although Hinata had done very little washing, and especially not this much, it took her barely any time to get the hang of it, and soon she was enjoying herself. Humming quietly she didn't notice Gaara watching her from his bedroom window.
~~~
Gaara watched as the girl lifted heavy sheets and piles of clothing onto the long washing lines without breaking a sweat. She was obviously stronger than she looked and he wondered if she had been trained at the compound. The Hyuuga were well known for two things, their artistry and their amazing power of sight, which activated could help them see at a 360 degree angle up to three miles. Gaara didn't think that they would allow anyone, especially not from the main family, out of the compound if they had that power, so he guessed she didn't possess it.
She looked happy, he realized. Compared to the girl he had met in the forestry he found she had grown so much in a short period of time. Now wearing the proper maids outfit, Hinata looked like she belonged here. He was able to spot her though, and he could hear her humming through his open window.
He was glad he got most of his work done last night – not sleeping for very long had its advantages – as he didn't think he'd get much work done today. Last night after he had awakened, he got the head of staff out of her own slumber and berated her for allowing Hinata to wear improper work clothes, the look of fear in her eyes was enough to know that she would comply with his order to give Hinata more appropriate wear.
He had also gotten a message back from Kankoro and another from Temari, they would both be returning soon and he was glad. Things would run smoother when they got here. He also hoped to talk to Kankoro about these things he had been experiencing, hoping that he could give him some answers.
He watched as the blue haired female disappeared from sight and went back to his work.
The day went quickly and he left at sunset to get to the clearing. He didn't realize his own anticipation to talk to Hinata again, only that it felt right being there. It was his spot, after all. It had nothing to do with the person who kept entering his thoughts.
He waited in his secret room after he had lit the fire in the library and caught the smell of her before she entered through the door. Her light footsteps sounded along the wooden boards until she came into the library and peeked into it.
"Sabaku, are you here?" she asked quietly.
"Yes, I am here. Welcome home."
She smiled again and walked towards the fire, warming her hands before sitting in the chair.
"I'm home. Did you have a good day?"
'Is this what people talk about?' He thought to himself. Feeling again that sense of rightness. He hadn't talked to her since the other night and had often caught himself wanting to in the two days she had worked at the tower. He had never had these sort of mundane conversations with anyone, not even his siblings. Kankoro had tried, but he'd always responded with a nod or grunt. Naruto never had mundane conversations, his vibrant personality always making things exciting. This felt nice though, something normal, not forced. He knew that this was something he could become comfortable with and held himself back. He knew not to get accustomed to the comfort, he knew she'd leave eventually. He'd still participate however.
"I did, did you?" He answered back, hoping that it was adequate.
When her eyes lit up he knew it had been, and felt a sense of accomplishment. Conversation didn't come easily to him. "I-I did have a good day. I was on the roof, hanging out washing. Did you know you can see all across Suna at the top of the tower? I-It's beautiful," she became quiet as she said the last bit, "I wish I could show it to you."
Gaara knew exactly what it was like at the top of the tower, as he went there many nights when he didn't come here to help him breathe. She didn't need to know that though.
"Did you see the Kazekage?" He couldn't help himself but asked. Part of him needed to know what she thought of him, even if it was fear, he could handle fear.
"I…" He watched strangely as her face became pink and she started twisting her fingers, "I did. I actually c-cleaned his office yesterday."
He didn't know what to make of her sudden change in behaviour so he asked more.
"What did you think of him?" He asked, hoping he sounded nonchalant. He was relieved to hear his voice come out as stoic as ever as he felt his gut tighten. He didn't know why her opinion mattered so much to him. Probably because he wanted her to see him as a human being, instead of a monster. It was different having someone who isn't afraid of him and he wanted to know why. Even if she didn't know of his past, his looks still terrified people. He was the Red Demon, after all.
"I… I think he's nice. He gave me a job and didn't seem at all discouraged when I hadn't done anything like it before." She paused before her face softened, "I t-think he must have been tired. He fell asleep with his head on his desk while I was doing laundry. He doesn't talk, just n-nods but that's okay. It's a comfortable silence." Then a horrified look came over her face and Gaara felt his spine stiffen again. "I-I didn't mention! T-They played a j-joke on m-me and got me to w-wear a d-different outfit than I was supposed to. I c-can't believe I was a-around the Kazekage all day in such a… Revealing uniform. I-I feel so h-humiliated." It seemed to all hit her at once and she put her head in her hands. "W-What is he going t-to think of me?" she said, muffled.
Gaara relaxed again. He had already warned the head of staff that if anyone dared to even look at Hinata the wrong way that they would be punished. He knew it wouldn't happen again, something good from having everyone be terrified of you.
"I doubt he even noticed. I heard the maids don't even come near him." He said the last part to make her feel better, even though it was true he didn't want to reveal too much of himself. The first bit, however, was a complete lie. Gaara had noticed the way she filled out the short, busty uniform and it did strange things to his blood. He imagined it again, seeing her blue hair against the nearly see through shirt and short skirt with an equally skimpy apron over the top made him feel that strange way again. Apparently she had worn another white top underneath, but it didn't hide much of her curves. He didn't want her to know that, however. He was trying to calm her, not make her feel worse, especially if she knew he was… Attracted to her.
"Y-You think so?" He grunted in reply and she seemed to take that as affirmation.
Hinata visibly relaxed again, apparently easy to sedate. "I think I may have made a f-friend today," she started again, "Matsuri, a nurse who treated me in hospital. She asked me to look after the Kazekage as well, I don't know why people keep asking me. I've barely spoken to him."
Oh, if only she knew.
"As well? Who else asked you?" Gaara asked, wondering why anyone was asking her to look after him, he didn't need anyone to look after him. Especially this nurse, he didn't even know her apart from when they met at the hospital. Even then, he was so worried about saving Hinata he didn't even notice her.
Hinata looked away thoughtfully, "Naruto, the man I was supposed to m-marry. Apparently he's f-friends with the Kazekage but he asked me to look after him as well."
Naruto, he should have guessed. He had briefly told Naruto that she had talked to him without fear and he was already setting her up as his babysitter. He wondered if that was why she didn't complain when she got assigned to clean his office, perhaps she was doing this out of kindness to Naruto. "Will you look after him?" He had to ask.
"I… I will," Gaara knew it, of course it wouldn't be for- "But not b-because of Naruto or Matsuri. The Kazekage has helped me and has been kind to me. E-Even speaking to Matsuri today confirmed that he's been a good Kazekage. I want to l-look after him, maybe even…."
"Yes?" He asked, wanting to know the end of that sentence as much as his next breath depended on it.
"Maybe even become f-friends with him." He watched as her face flamed up again, what a strange reaction. So, she wanted to become friends with him, he didn't understand why. He gave nothing in the way of friendship, he didn't understand why Naruto was friends with him, apart from their history.
"Friends?" If possible, her face became redder. It made her look even softer, more angelic. He wished he knew what caused it to happen, so he could make it happen more. She gave a small nod and a smile and Gaara knew then, that he would give anything to be her friend if she looked at him like that when she knew who he was.
"You know… if you become friends, you might even call him by his name." He didn't know where he was taking this, but he was hoping it would have the outcome he wished for.
"H-his n-na-name?" she stuttered out, her face a constant shade of red now, Gaara revelled in the fact that he had somehow caused it, but hoped it wasn't from something bad. "I-I d-d-don't even know his n-name."
He knew he could stop this here, pretend like he hadn't even said anything. But somewhere deep down inside of him wanted to open up just this bit to the woman in front of him, to see how she would react, if she would piece it together.
"His name is Gaara." It was softly said, but she must have heard it as her mouth opened up into an 'o' shape. He could see her test the name on her lips again, like she had done when he had told her the pseudo name. "Gaara." She said after a while, a wistful look coming onto her face, and it seemed a part of his shell had completely broken off and another, more human part of him, came to the light. He watched as the sand danced slightly at his feet, feeling the things in his chest at the moment.
He wished he could go out and reveal himself but he knew this was enough, would always be enough. He could spend the rest of his life hearing his name on her lips inside of his head.
~~~
They settled into their routine silence and spent the rest of the night each doing their own thinking.
Hinata kept thinking about the Kazekage. 'So his name is Gaara… It's nice.' She felt her face heat again. Damn her easy embarrassment, she wish she could control it but instead it happened at the worst times. Hinata couldn't lie easily because of it, which had been a problem with her mother. When she had asked Hinata if she'd made any friends in the village, Hinata had of course said yes with enthusiasm, her face becoming red and her stutter becoming more pronounced. Her mother knew straight away, Hinata could see the recognition in her eyes, but she didn't say anything. Hinata had gone to bed on her own that night, feeling weary after another long day and looking forward to tomorrow. She was glad she got to speak to Sabaku tonight, he always made her feel better, even with his gruff replies. She could tell he wasn't used to speaking to people, but neither was she. She was constantly surprised that she could speak without stuttering around him, but it was probably because she had never seen him.
Again she felt the urge to see past the bookcase and look at him, but she knew that it would give away her most valued secret, and break his trust. She couldn't do that, not to her only friend.
She woke up again the next morning and he was gone, she went to work and did normal things, such as clean and hang laundry, not seeing the Kazekage again. She knew that it would probably be like this for a while and chided herself for feeling another pang of disappointment. She must really enjoy looking at him, he was incredibly handsome, for she had never really had a conversation with him. And why would she? She was a maid, he was a Kazekage! Still she couldn't keep herself from looking around every now and then, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
She was tired by the time she finished work so she went to the bathhouse again, hoping to scrub the dirt out of her skin. She didn't have to pay, yet again, wondering why the lady had suddenly changed her attitude towards Hinata, but she didn't question her about it in case she changed her mind again.
She met Matsuri in the womens area again, who immediately started a conversation with her, speaking about each of their days and enjoying each other's company. They spent most of the time learning more about each other, Matsuri about her past and Hinata about her mother. Even though Hinata was comfortable with Matsuri, she didn't trust anyone enough to tell them about her past. She wondered if she ever would.
Before they parted, Hinata remembered something she had heard the maids talking about. "I-I heard today that the m-man you wanted to know about, K-Kankoro, w-will be arriving tomorrow." She noted that Matsuri's eyes had lit up, and she looked somewhat furious. It was confusing because she looked equally happy and angry and Hinata didn't know if telling her was the right thing to do.
"I-Is everything a-alright, Matsuri?" she asked quietly, wishing she knew what was going on in the brunettes head.
She just looked at Hinata and smiled, "I think I might come at see you at the Tower tomorrow, what time do you have a break?" Hinata told her when she went for lunch and arranged to meet on the roof of the tower. Hinata asked how she would get there but Matsuri just said that she knew the guards and they would let her in. She didn't ask any more questions, she was sure that if Matsuri wanted to explain she would.
Hinata left after saying goodbye and went to her own little house, feeling incredibly weary she immediately fell into a deep sleep.
She started the day like any other, she went to work, did the job she was assigned to and the whole day she was excited to see Matsuri, thinking how nice it would be to have lunch with another person. She was always wistful of the groups the maids had, and she had even tried to start up conversations with some of them, but they had looked at her like she had sprouted horns and made some inane excuse not to eat lunch with her. She looked at her meagre portioned onigiri and sighed. She was running out of the food Naruto had bought her and hoped that Matsuri wouldn't ask her about it. She had enough for another two lunches and dinners if she reduced the portion size a bit more, but she knew soon enough that she would have to end up begging in front of the grocer to buy more. The thought was discouraging, but necessary. She needed to eat to have the strength to work and she couldn't do that without tossing out the little pride she had left. She continued her day in a more sombre mood, but when her break finally arrived she felt the excitement stirring again. By the time she had made it up to the roof, Matsuri had already arrived and laid out a spread of food. Hinata felt ashamed to bring out her own lunch but as soon as she had decided not to eat, her stomach rumbled. Matsuri just giggled and her face flamed. "Come, sit Hinata. I made enough food for both of us, I need to apologize."
Hinata sat and looked at Matsuri quizzically, no idea what she was apologizing for. "When I asked you to have lunch with me, I'm afraid I had another motive." Hinata nodded, "When you mentioned Kankoro coming home I was hoping to use you to have an excuse to see him again." She explained the last time she saw him, leaving out the bits about Gaara.
"I'm really sorry, Hinata. I just wanted to apologize and tell you that I do really enjoy spending time with you. I hope we're still friends." Matsuri looked so contrite and Hinata couldn't help but put her arms around her.
"O-Of course we're friends! I'm just happy to be eating lunch with someone, regardless of the reasons." They both smiled at each other and started eating, quickly turning to friendly conversation. They sat up there for about fifteen minutes before they heard voices coming and quickly stood up. In through the door to the roof came none other than the Kazekage himself and the man that Matsuri was now furiously glaring at, Kankoro.
Hinata could do nothing but watch as Matsuri launched herself at the painted man, hitting him square in the jaw and pushing him a couple of paces back. They watched as Kankoro and Matsuri stood there looking at each other, one with a bloody lip and the other with tears in her eyes.
"You bastard! How dare you just leave?! At least tell me that you're going. And that kiss! You kissed me and left!" She angrily swiped the tears from her face as he just stood there, shocked.
Kankoro watched her for a few more seconds, apparently deciding whether or not she was going to hit him again. They all watched as he gave a big grin and wrapped his arms around her. "Matty! I missed you too."
Shocked. They were all shocked. Gaara most of all. He just stood there and watched as Matsuri's face turned pink and she buried her head in his brother's shoulder. When he suggested coming to the roof, he thought it would be a private place where he could talk about the things he's been feeling. He never once imagined he would find the object of his thoughts up here, and that he would witness a domestic straight afterwards. Now he stared intently, trying to work out the reason why female's faces became pink. It never usually happened around him, so he was confused as to why Hinata's face became heated when she talked about him, as the Kazekage. He looked over at her now, finding her eyes already on him, the pink already spreading over her delicate cheekbones. "Good a-afternoon." She said quietly. Gaara, not sure how to respond in this situation and still not willing to give himself away just nodded at her. She looked as uncomfortable as himself after witnessing the strange reunion. He looked over at Kankoro and saw him brushing the left over tears from the nurses face. Knowing that his brother would appreciate the privacy, he motioned Hinata to follow him.
As they walked past, he did something unusual for him. He laid a hand on Kankoro's shoulder and nodded at him when they caught each other's eyes. Kankoro smiled at him and Gaara felt like he had achieved a new level of humanity. He didn't know why he did it, but he had seen others receive encouragement- or reassurance- this exact way and his brother seemed to appreciate it.
Hinata followed him through the building, looking unsure of what they were doing. She followed him halfway to his office before she said something. "U-Um, excuse me, w-will you need me for anything else?" She said, again softly. She seemed to have more courage when speaking with him at the house and he felt a small pang of frustration that she didn't feel as comfortable around the real him. Perhaps it was his looks that frightened her, or maybe she could smell the blood that will forever be imbedded into his pores. Either way he wished it wasn't so.
He heard her still following him to the entrance of his office and she asked the question again.
It was crazy but he didn't want her to leave just yet. He hadn't seen her at the little house last night and he felt a strange loneliness when she wasn't there. It wasn't a good sign how much she affected him, and he was scared how low his guard was around her. He wished he knew how to stop the way he reacted around her because it was confusing him.
He opened the door to his office, already covered in clothes and paper scraps after just a day. He motioned her inside and told her to clean with a muffled voice.
"Oh, o-of course." She sounded somewhat disappointed and that confused him more. What had she been expecting? Was she as confused as he was? He wished he knew more.
After sitting at his desk and trying to work as she cleaned and dusted the room, spreading her scent all over his furniture, a knock sounded on the door. Gaara went to stand but Hinata was already there, holding the door open so he could see his sisters shocked face.
He could see his sister sizing Hinata up with her eyes and hoped that she wouldn't make any comments, sometimes people were as scared of Temari as they were of him.
"Who the hell are you?" She shook her pointed finger at Hinata, looking between her and Gaara.
Gaara just crossed his arms and shot Temari a warning glare, one that she either missed – or more likely – completely ignored.
"Why the hell are you in my brother's office? Are you a spy?" she continued. Hinata just looked wildly around her, hoping for some sort of back up from the Kazekage.
"I-I'm j-just a maid. I-I was cleaning." Hinata said quietly, hoping that the blonde, wild-haired woman would take that as enough.
Still she looked furious and unconvinced, today seemed to be a very exhausting day. But it always was when the siblings all came under the same roof. Temari's voice shook as she spoke, seemingly trying to hold back her fierce temper. "Why would a Hyuuga," her voice spat out the word, "Be cleaning the office of the Kazekage, in Suna?"
'I would also like to hear the answer for that.' Thought Gaara, he was definitely curious and had wanted to bring it up many times, but couldn't find a way without making Hinata suspicious. But Hinata just started breathing heavily, eyes going wild she started running out the door when Temari blocked her. Then she fainted.
"Temari, let her go." Gaara said calmly, walking up to Hinata and lifting her out of his sister's arms to place her on the bed in his bedroom. He could feel Temari's disbelieving eyes following him as he carried the small woman as gently as possible, trying not to jolt her awake. "Don't." He said gruffly as Temari started getting out her binding tools. As soon as he closed the connecting door, Temari started.
"I'm afraid I don't understand. Why is there a Hyuuga here? Who is she? How do you know her? How do you know she isn't a spy sent from the Hyuuga's? We have a peace treaty with Konoha, but we both know that can be broken by individual clans. She doesn't have the scarring on her forehead from the Caged Bird Seal, so she must be a spy from the main house."
Gaara waited patiently for his sister to stop ranting. He knew that to interrupt her while she was speaking would just make her point seem more valid. When she did, she quietly went down into the chair next to the desk and looked smaller, as if she had made a grave mistake speaking up to Gaara.
He sat opposite her and linked his fingers together. "I understand your concern, Temari. But Hinata is no spy." Though it would make sense why she felt so comfortable around him, Gaara thought darkly, but he banished the thought as soon as it came. "She and her mother came to the village and have been peaceful until her mother died a few weeks ago. I sent you a missive about her, the woman who the councilmembers wanted to marry off to Naruto Uzumaki. I gave her a position in the tower." He spoke of every detail, leaving out the bit where she had come to his little house, and their true first meeting, saying instead that she came to his office, which wasn't truly a lie.
Temari expressed the same curiosity as Naruto had. "She came to your office?!" Temari looked immediately contrite afterwards, "I mean, Gaara that's great. It means that the villagers are finally getting used to you."
Gaara didn't want to disappoint her, so he just nodded his head.
"So what are we going to do about the Hyuuga? We can't keep her here if we don't know why she left, it could break the treaty." She looked worried and Gaara just nodded again.
"Wouldn't want to ruin your relationship with the Nara." He said softly and her face turned beet red. Temari sputtered, clearly unused to Gaara speaking this way, or perhaps she thought she was being secretive about her long meetings with the spikey haired man. "I-I-I don't know what you mean! There's nothing between me and that boring man, nothing." Gaara would have believed her, if she wasn't denying it so vehemently. "Anyway, stop trying to change the subject. Something has to be done about this girl. Let me talk to her, maybe I can find out why she's here and we can go from there."
Gaara looked at her with a warning glance, meaning clear in his eyes. "I won't hurt her, Gaara, I'll play nice. Promise."
As much as Gaara was wary of his sisters 'niceness', he supposed he did need to find out why she was here, and he didn't suppose she was going to tell him. So he told Temari she could talk to the blue-haired Hyuuga, but only if she was calm and didn't accuse her of anything until she knew the entire story. Temari quickly agreed, probably as curious as he was, and left to go wake her up.
Gaara sat back in his chair, hoping he made the right decision, and that he wouldn't scare her away.
~~~
Hinata had woken in the large bed, disoriented. Temari could see when the memories all came rushing back to her, because she sat up in bed, eyes darting back and forth until they landed on the blonde, spikey-haired woman in front of her. She didn't move a muscle, scared that the woman would strike first and ask questions later.
They sat there and looked at each other for another minute, both waiting to see the other one make the first move. Temari sighed and leaned back, still keeping eyes locked on Hinata.
"Don't worry, I won't bite. I have strict orders from the Kazekage that you are not to be hurt." She relaxed, still wary.
"We need to know why you're here. We have a new peace treaty with Konoha, and if we're harbouring a fugitive we'll need to tell them," Hinata gulped "if you don't have good reason to be here. But we won't tell them until we find out and decided whether you have solid reasoning or not."
Temari crossed her legs and propped her arms up on them, studying the woman. It was surprising to see Gaara defend someone, to say the least. He even picked her up, as delicate as someone would a child. She also couldn't believe the woman had been in his office, seemingly unaffected by the mere presence of him. She knew Gaara had changed – she didn't know it was that much, however – but she knew that the villagers hadn't accepted him because of his past. She could understand, Gaara had been terrifying at the best of times and it will take a long time to repair the damage he has caused to the village, but she could see he was trying his best to change. He even seemed.. Taken with this woman. A Hyuuga. She couldn't even dream of Gaara finding someone to like, even love, but the way he looked at the small woman suggested that he had already started feeling those stirrings in his heart. Shame she might have to leave, she could be good for him.
"Now, would you like to tell me your story?"
She took a deep breath, and shakily, stuttering, told Temari her reason for being in Suna.
It was cold in the Hyuuga compound, even when the sun was shining. The people were the coldest, seemingly never caring about others, just the prestige and legacy of the clan. At the time, Hinata was nothing to them, apart from a face to show other clans in hoping that they would marry her and offer the clan something in return. It had to be at their will, however, as they had the Hyuuga secrets to protect, and she had the clans power, Byakugan, an ability to see with incredible clarity and distance. Being part of the main family stopped Hinata from receiving the Caged Bird Seal, which was the only time Hinata was thankful she was part of the main family. Hinata had attended a few arranged marriage meetings, none of which the Hyuuga advisors found beneficial to them, until one suitor, a man from the Land of the Mist, came to the Hyuuga family directly. He was the son of the lord and could offer them protection, land and even a place within the Land of the Mist, if they ever wanted to expand, even willing to agree to any terms the Hyuuga may have. The Hyuuga, of course, could not turn down the offer and at once arranged for a meeting between the two. He seemed pleasant enough. After a short meeting with the two clans in attendance, he asked if he could spend the rest of their time alone, as they were becoming betrothed. Of course both parties agreed and left the two alone, the first time Hinata had been left alone with one of her suitors before.
It had all happened so suddenly, he grabbed her and then he was ripping down the front of her formal kimono and smashing his face to hers, touching her in places that made her sick to think of anyone touching. She tried to fight him but he had touched her chakra points so she wasn't able to move. Before he had done anything worse, Hinata tried her last card and screamed at the top of her lungs. She knew the clan advisors would punish her for offending the Land of the Mist but she couldn't stomach the thought of this man being her first; she couldn't handle what he was doing now. Before anyone could get to her, she felt something come down into her neck and passed out.
When she awoke, everything was black.
He had stabbed her in the side of the neck, hitting the nerves there.
The doctors assured the Hyuuga that she would live, but they didn't know if she would regain her sight. She could hear them talking about her, "If she had just let him, then she would have been fine. Now she is useless."
Weeks passed and the only comfort Hinata had was when her mother was allowed to see her, and held her as she cried. Even Hanabi, her sister, wasn't allowed to see her. After two months had passed, the doctors came again, with a vial of liquid, a new medication that would revive her eyesight. Of course the Hyuuga Advisors and her father agreed to it immediately, hoping to find a way to restore Hinata's sight so they could resume negotiations. Hinata knew that they would give her back to that man when she regained eyesight, it was the Byakugan they wanted, not her. She didn't want to take any chances, so just before the doctors filled her eyes with the liquid she shut off the chakra points connected to her Byakugan. Her eyes regained their natural sight, but the Byakugan couldn't be activated.
As the Hyuuga had seen her lose her eyesight, they assumed the liquid only brought back her normal eyes, and the Byakugan was lost forever.
They didn't want the shame or danger of the enemy finding ways to shut off the Byakugan, one of the most powerful powers among clans, so they ordered Hinata to die.
When Hinata's mother had heard their order, she threw herself on the mercy of the Hyuuga, begging the advisors and her husband, Hiashi Hyuuga to spare Hinata.
None of them agreed, but before Hinata was sentenced to die, her mother took her and escaped the compound with the help of two branch family members. The people that had helped them told them that they would explain to the Hyuuga that they had been set upon by rogues, and killed in the process, producing fake bodies to pass as them, eyes cut out, as long as they never set foot in Konoha again, or let anyone know where they were. Never let them know their connection to the Hyuuga.
Hinata didn't know why they would do so much for her and her mother, but they left and didn't hear about any Hyuuga looking for them. She and her mother escaped to Suna after a long journey and started their life here. They never publicly told anyone of the apparent deaths, but they wouldn't need to, no one knew Hinata, just of her. Her mother was always kept hidden from the public. No one had cared. Neither did they, now they were free.
At the end of her story, Hinata was sobbing. Reliving all of the moments in her head, things she had supressed since she left the compound. Temari came around the big bed and started rubbing Hinata's back in small, soothing circles. After what must have been fourty minutes of Hinata crying and telling her story, she yawned. Temari left Hinata in the big bed, telling her to get some rest as she talked to the others.
Hinata rested, plagued by nightmares she had hoped to forget.