Thankyou for all the reviews while I haven't been posting. I'm sorry this one took so long, it's been hectic with my assignments and tests and I've had barely any time to sleep let alone write. Super thankful for all the positive reviews from you guys, it really helps me continue writing.
I've started switching POV's with LINEBREAKS because I've only just realised that my other way wasn't working, oops! Hope you enjoy the chapter, sorry if it's a bit all over the place.~~~
Disclaimer: I do not own naruto or anything related to it.
Hinata watched as her new husband walked out of the door. He seemed upset and she understood why. He was now shackled to her, he had married her to save her but he hadn't wanted to. He probably thought it was his duty as the Kazekage and she felt so much guilt for putting him in this position. She wished she could change it, release him from it somehow without breaking the contract with the Hyuuga and putting herself in danger again, but she couldn't. She was being selfish, she wanted to survive and therefore she would try her hardest not to be a burden to the Kazekage… Gaara. She thought about the bodiless voice from the clearing and wondered how he would react to her suddenly being Gaara's wife, but she banished that thought from her head. How could she, in good conscious, ever meet up with another man behind her husband's back? She wouldn't endanger Gaara's reputation like that. She looked up to find everyone watching her still, especially Naruto who looked like he was waiting for some sort of answer. "I-I'm s-sorry. D-Did you ask me something?"
Naruto looked so solemn, it seemed out of place amongst his bright coloured outfit and blonde hair. "It's okay. I just asked if you were ready to go to the hospital yet, Sakura said she'll need to perform more tests on you to make sure you're okay." After a quick nod she took his suddenly outstretched arm and pulled herself up, biting the inside of her cheek so she didn't show how painful it was to move out of the comfortable chair.
She left everyone to their pitying glances and walked alongside Naruto, still holding his arm for balance. After walking in silence Naruto quietly started speaking. "I'm really sorry about your family, Hinata. They're monsters for what they've done to you. I wish I could have helped sooner…." She laid her other hand on his arm and looked up at him.
"I-It is enough that you helped save me," she started softly, wincing through the pain it caused her, "I'm sorry I put you… and the Kazekage in this position."
Naruto looked around him, seemingly looking out for someone and then spoke lower. "Look, about Gaara. He'll calm down, don't let him scare you. He won't hurt you, I promise. He can be a little unpredictable but that's because he's not used to experiencing emotions, he's not sure how to react. If you ever need a friend, someone to talk to, I'm always gonna be there, 'Kay?" After her small smile he nodded and continued walking along.
Making it to the Hospital, Naruto made sure she was in Sakura's care before heading back to his own house. "Remember, always here if you need me!" he shouted, walking away with a quick wave.
Hinata was thankful to have a friend like him, she didn't know many other people who would try so hard to help others and she was glad he chose to be friends with her. She wondered briefly if that was why Gaara saved her, but didn't want to dwell on it, causing her head to ache again.
Sakura took her to a sterile white room and started her on IV drips to help with her malnutrition and dehydration while she took blood samples. A couple of hours after Sakura ran the tests she returned. "You should be okay in a little while, there's a bit of colour back in your face now. You should be able to leave in the morning after spending the night, I'll let Gaara know when to come for you." She looked a bit strange before she asked her next question. "Hinata, I know this is personal but I need to know. Did they… assault you sexually?"
Hinata's face paled even more but she looked Sakura in the eyes and answered. "No, they didn't get the chance to." Sakura let of a small sigh of relief and then gave Hinata a small smile. "I know we don't really know each other, but I'd like to be your friend. I'm glad that you'll be okay now. Naruto tells me that the Kazekage is a really great guy now."
Hinata painfully smiled back at Sakura, reassuring her that they were friends. She wasn't so reassured by the last part, though. She knew that the Kazek—Gaara was a good person, otherwise he wouldn't have married her to save her from her family. But she put Gaara into this position and she was unsure of how his reaction to it will be. He already seemed upset to be married to her and it hasn't even been a few hours, she didn't know what living with him would be like. Deciding to stop herself from thinking about it, she laid back her head and tried to sleep. Drifting between the sound of the machines, the click of the trays as the nurses wheeled them around, and the nightmares that plagued her.
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Gaara woke in a sweat, his physical appearance and the slight panting of his breath the only indication of his distress. He sat up in his bed and ran his hands through his hair. He'd been dreaming again. He didn't sleep often but when he did it was always full of nightmares. He couldn't help but think back to what this nightmare was.
He looked around, he was in the hallway outside of his office at the tower. There was red on the walls, the tables, the paintings. He could see his father's disapproving face from the office wall that too had specks of blood on it. He walked down the hallway, calling for Temari or Kankoro, someone who could explain. He saw shadows moving but didn't see anyone. They seemed to call out to him from the darkness. "Gaara please, no Gaara please don't!" he could hear their frantic screams at the end of the hallway. Gaara started running towards them, stumbling through the darkness, "Temari! Kankoro!" He ran for as long as he could, finally making it through the other side of the door at the end he saw it went into a different, familiar space. The house in the clearing. He walked through to the library, a place he went more often than his own home now. He could see Temari on the floor and ran to her as fast as he could, "Temari, Temari what's wrong?" he asked. Her leg was twisted in an unnatural angle, obviously broken, but she ignored him and started dragging herself to the other side of the room, smearing blood across the floor. Gaara looked up and immediately felt sick. On the other side of the room was him, half covered in sand with bright yellow eyes, he was holding something by the neck. He tried to look closer but he couldn't see what it was. He heard another shout, "Gaara stop, you don't want to do this! Please it's not you!" He looked over to see Kankoro, holding his side that had a huge gash, his face was swollen and he had blood dripping down from his mouth. He repeated it again, coming closer and closer to the other Gaara. He could still see Temari dragging herself across the floor, when she got closer to the other him it lifted its leg and crushed her arm, snapping it with a loud crunching noise, he lifted his leg again, aiming for her head. At the same time both he and Kankoro screamed for Temari, who had looked up at the monster form of her younger brother, tears in her eyes. "Gaara, no." She whispered, but it was too late. Gaara watched as he smashed his sister's head into the wooden floor, covering it with blood and matted hair. He then looked at himself again, finally seeing the small thing he still held. He saw the blue hair before he saw the rest of her, but at once he knew what, or rather, who it was. "Hinata, no!" He growled, reaching out to stop the other him, but the other Gaara just smiled at him and squeezed tighter, crushing the bones in Hinata's frail neck. Gaara screamed. He woke.
It had all felt so real, the sounds, the sight of it, he swore he could also smell the metallic blood in the air. He stepped off of the bed and got dressed, heading out of the building they had been assigned towards the hospital. He told himself he was just going to check on her, make sure she was okay so he could say it was all a nightmare. When he got to the hospital however, seeing her sleeping amongst the white sheets, blankets and pillows, she looked so frail, so small. He sat on the chair next to her bed and stared at her. He watched over her, listening to her breath, seeing her chest rise and fall, hearing the noise of the machines that assured him she was still alive, still with him.
His wife. She was his wife now. Right at this moment, looking so small but also angelic, her dark blue hair a stark contrast to her pale skin and the white of the pillows, she looked like his chance at redemption. Maybe if he could save her, he could be a good Kazekage for his people. A shining hope in a village that has too long been in the darkness. He didn't know how long he had been watching her but softly she stirred, eyes opening. "Go back to sleep, you need your rest." He told her softly. He caught his breath when a faint smile appeared on her face. She lifted up her hand and stroked his cheek softly. "Thankyou" she said on a whisper, and then went back to sleep. Gaara stood and touched his cheek where her soft hand had touched. She wasn't afraid of him. She wasn't angry at him. Part of him wished that she was, so he could ignore her and make sure she wasn't around him so he couldn't hurt her, but the other part of him revelled in the touch. He sat back down again and watched her. He felt calm again, his mind may be battling but right now in this moment, his body felt languid and he relaxed against the chair. He stayed there until dawn broke and then made his way to his own quarters.
When he got back to his room, Temari was standing out the front of his door, discussing with herself whether to knock. He stood behind her and she turned around immediately. "Gaara, I didn't know you were already up. I was coming to check on you." She looked somewhat sheepish. "Why?" He answered gruffly, walking past her into his room that also held a desk for his Kazekage duties. He heard her footsteps follow him into his room.
"Well, everything was very sudden yesterday and I just wanted to make sure you were… okay.." She faltered, obviously not knowing how to word her concern. She had never tried to console Gaara before, she had always been too wary. It was a big change for her to start expressing her concern and Gaara knew that she was struggling. "I am… Fine, Temari. Thank you for asking." He turned towards her and slowly put a hand on her shoulder, like he had seen others do. He started patting it, unsure of what he was actually doing, and continued until he heard soft laughter from his sister. He watched her, not entirely understanding why she was laughing. She laughed harder and harder until a snort escaped, she quickly covered her mouth, still giggling. "G-Gaara," She said, trying to breathe slower, "You don't have to keep patting my shoulder. One or two pats should be okay." She started giggling again. Gaara swiftly took his hand back and looked at it. "One to two pats." He repeated to himself softly. Temari smiled up at him, "I'm glad you're okay, brother." Her stomach rumbled not long afterwards, and she asked if he wanted any breakfast. He declined and instead stayed at his desk answering messages from Kankoro, who was apparently freaking out, until it was time to pick up Hinata from the hospital.
Luckily Temari, who had "somehow" come across Shikamaru, came along with him to get his new wife. He was glad for the Nara to come along with them, for some reason he felt uncomfortable going to see Hinata by himself. He could still feel the feathery touch on his cheek and he had to stop himself from reaching his hand up towards there yet again.
When they made it to the hospital, Temari went ahead of him into Hinata's room, immediately chatting with the girl and asking how she was feeling. Gaara looked at Hinata again, feeling a slight relief that her swelling had gone down from her face and there was more colour in her cheeks. Colour that seemed to brighten to a light pink when they both locked eyes again. That was until he looked at the bandage around her forehead and remembered why it was there, feeling the stirrings of anger again he looked away.
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Hinata looked down at her sheets. Gaara not being able to look her in the eye just confirmed her fear that she only dreamed he had come into her room last night. He obviously still couldn't stand the fact that he was married to her. She wondered if she'd ever be able to talk to him like she did before all of this happened. She talked with Temari for a while, finding a solace in the blonde's fiery personality, before Sakura came in to release her. "Well Hinata, looks like you've recovered well from the drips and medication that we gave you. I'll leave you with some medication that you can take back to Suna and also some extra bandages that you will still have to change every couple of hours for the next two days. If there is any sign of reoccurring infection please seek a medic immediately as it can spread to your other wounds." She then smiled at Hinata. "Please come back sometime and let me know whenever you're in town again, we can catch up."
After changing out of her hospital clothes to some other ones Temari had brought for her, and saying goodbye to Sakura, they left the hospital. Hinata was quiet but when they continued walking she stopped and fidgeted. "U-Um.. Kaz- Gaara. May I speak with you?" Temari nudged Shikamaru and motioned for him to follow her away from the two. Gaara nodded and stared at Hinata, waiting for her to speak. Hinata took a deep breath. "I know we don't have much time before you must return," she breathed in again, trying not to stutter, "B-But I would really like to see a couple of people and thank them." She straightened her back despite the pain it caused and looked Gaara directly in the eyes. "I want to see Neji, my sister Hanabi and the Hokage before we leave for Suna. I know they all helped save me." She breathed out after saying what she needed and started fidgeting again.
"Ok." He said gruffly, she looked up again, surprised at how easily he agreed. Perhaps he didn't completely hate her. She smiled at him, "Thankyou!"
They walked back to Temari and Hinata explained to her what she wanted to do. Temari agreed as well, saying that they needed to see the Hokage before they left anyway for official business. Arriving at the Hokage tower they were greeted immediately by the Hokage herself. "Hinata! I was just about to come see you. I see you're in better health, I trust my prodigy Sakura helped heal you as well as she could."
"Lady Hokage, y-yes Sakura was wonderful. I was coming here to thank you for helping save me, I understand what a p-precarious position I must have put you in." Hinata tried to bow but her back was so sore she nearly pitched forward. Gaara luckily moved quickly enough to catch her before she hit the ground, holding her to his chest. Tsunade smiled at them, "No thanks necessary, Hinata. I am just glad that you are now safe."
Temari spoke up when Hinata was too muffled by Gaara's chest, since he hadn't yet released her. "Lady Hokage, we're also here to discuss official business. Hinata also wishes to see her cousin and sister Neji and Hanabi Hyuuga. Is there any way that we can arrange to have them come here instead of Hinata having to go to the compound again?"
The Hokage nodded and Hinata mentally thanked Temari for her thoughtfulness. She hadn't even thought about the fact that she would have to go back there, only just wanting to see her sister and her cousin. The thought of going back there made her shudder, and she felt a slight movement and then suddenly, two consecutive pats on her shoulder. She looked into Gaara's face as he looked away, feeling comforted by his presence. She then realized what kind of position they were in, in front of the Hokage tower AND the Hokage herself no less! She quickly moved from Gaara's arms and tried to appear like nothing was wrong.
"I'll contact ANBU immediately to summon Neji and ask him to bring your sister but.. Are you sure you want to see them?" Tsunade asked, looking directly into Hinata's eyes.
"Y-Yes! They were trying to save me and I would like to let them know how grateful I am." Tsunade nodded her head and motioned them inside where she waited while they discussed Village business. It wasn't long before her cousin and sister arrived, her sister running straight into Hinata's arms, a comfort Hinata didn't deny regardless of how much it hurt.
"Hanabi, careful." Her stoic cousin warned walking slower behind her. "Hinata could still be sore."
At once Hanabi detached herself with a look of worry but quickly Hinata brought her back into her arms. "It is okay, I am well."
Neji wouldn't look her in the eye but she continued to hold Hanabi, feeling the warmth and comfort her little sister brought. "It has been too long since I've held you like this, Little Hanabi." Hinata whispered in her sister's hair. Hanabi snuggled closer into Hinata's chest and nodded her head. They must have stayed like that for ten minutes before Hinata's bones started cramping and she slowly detached her sister with a pat to her head.
"N-Neji can I speak with you in another room." Hinata asked nervously, looking at her cousin who nodded without looking at her. She looked and Tsunade then who had been listening, "There's a connecting room over there, feel free to use it. Hinata smiled and softly thanked her while walking to the other room, hearing her cousin slowly trail behind her.
Hinata shut the door behind them and then looked at her cousin. He looked so unsure, even nervous. She couldn't imagine Neji ever looking like this before. "N-Neji, please have a seat." She motioned to the two leather couches in the middle of the room. They both took a seat, still feeling the tension in the room.
Hinata didn't know how to start and fidgeted in her seat, but she quickly realized that Neji wasn't going to speak first so she took a deep breath.
"Thank you, cousin Neji, for saving me." She stated quietly, holding her breath for his answer.
It was quiet but then he looked at her, she had never seen such anguish in his eyes. "Don't thank me. It's my fault now that you have the Caged bird seal! You should hate me! Despise me! Don't thank someone who caused you to bear the humiliating mark of the Hyuuga!" His words grew louder and louder as he spoke, his face becoming more pained with every word. Hinata didn't react, she just sat there waiting until he finished speaking and then gave him a small smile.
"I wouldn't hate you. I-I know how my family is. If they hadn't given me the Caged Bird Seal I would be dead or worse." She started, eyes softening at the pain being shown through every inch of him. "I-I may be wrong, but I think you suggested it so they would choose the Kazekage over the other choices." She looked at him expectantly and then smiled when he gave a small nod.
"They were unsure of how to proceed. I thought… I thought maybe If you were the Kazekage's wife they wouldn't be able to hurt you." Hinata fully understood. They had wanted to wait so they could somehow find a way to control both her and the village she married into.
"They won't be able to. This mark is a small sacrifice for freedom. I know you suggested it to save me, Neji, I don't blame you." She stood then and stumbled over to her cousin, who she made stand and then wrapped her arms around him.
"Is it really freedom if you're trapped in a marriage with the Kazekage? I've heard rumours about him, Hinata…" He sounded worried again so she held him tighter.
"I honestly don't know, but I think that if I really try I can make this work. Gaara is a good man, he won't hurt me." She nodded to emphasize her point. She truly did believe that Gaara was a good man, now all she had to do was convince him she won't be a burden. She didn't have a lot to offer but she felt like if she really tried, maybe he'd see something positive from being married to her.
She let Neji go then and smiled at him. "Thank you, Neji, for everything. Especially for looking after Hanabi while I haven't been around." He seemed to look sheepish at her praise and then nervous again.
"Hinata… I know I haven't been good to you," When she tried to intervene he held up a hand, "Don't argue, I know what I say is the truth. But Hanabi and I have become close since I've changed, almost like siblings. I'm hoping that you and I will be able to have the same bond one day." Hinata was quiet in return but she felt hope in her chest. "I would like that very much, cousin." She hugged him again, just when the door opened from the other room and Gaara stood proudly in it. "Is it time to leave?" Hinata asked, feeling the separation from her newly found family and friends already, at Gaara's nod she let Neji go. "I hope we meet again soon, Neji."
"I too hope that, cousin Hinata."
She walked through the door that Gaara had left and went to her younger sister who looked forlorn. "Do not worry, little one, we will meet again." And gave her a strong hug.
After saying her thanks and goodbye to the Hokage, Gaara, Hinata and Temari all started their journey back to Suna, a place that was now officially her home.
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Gaara watched as the door to the other room closed and felt a sort of trepidation. He knew that the young Hyuuga had tried to talk to the elders for Hinata's sake, but he also came back with Hinata bearing the Cursed Mark. Gaara didn't trust him, especially not with his frail new wife. He only half listened to the official meeting between Villages, instead keeping a close eye on the door and trying to listen in the case of Hinata being in danger. When Tsunade coughed knowingly and then told him that he could go now that they've finished all their business, Gaara immediately stood and walked to the other door. He stood there and stared at it. Should he knock? Should he even disturb them? Should he wait? He didn't know what to do so at least he just pushed the door open and stood in the doorway.
When he first saw Hinata in her cousin's arms his first thought was that she was being attacked. He was just about to go separate the two when she looked up and smiled at the young Hyuuga. His heart felt a stab of pain at the sight. Did she love him? Were they secret lovers and that's why the man helped Hinata? The more Gaara thought about it, the more it made sense. Perhaps this was why she hadn't married her other suitors. He didn't know why but he became angry at the thought. She saw him in the doorway and asked if it was time to leave, then turned to her "cousin" and told him that they would meet again soon.
Gaara felt cheated. He couldn't expect Hinata to be only his in this marriage of convenience but to arrange a lovers tryst so quickly, he couldn't help but feel upset over the outcome. He stopped his hand from reaching towards his cheek again. Perhaps she had mistaken him last night for her lover, perhaps which was why she touched him. It was most likely. The only people that willingly touched him were his siblings, even today when he held Hinata to make sure she didn't fall, she had practically ran out of his arms.
Neji walked up to him while he stood thinking. "Take care of my cousin. Don't hurt her." He sounded threatening but Gaara just stood his ground and didn't move. They stared at each other until Temari put a hand on his shoulder and the three of them left.
The journey to Suna was longer than usual because of Hinata's injuries. She couldn't go very fast and there were continuous stops along the way so Temari could change Hinata's bandages. It was a quiet trip, only Hinata and Temari spoke and that wasn't very often. Gaara couldn't look at Hinata without thinking of her in another man's arms. He didn't know why it caused him such feelings but he assumed it was pride. When they arrived in Suna, Kankoro was at the front gate waiting for them. He practically sagged with relief when he saw Gaara. "Never. Again. Your Kazekage business stuff is way too much paperwork for me." He exclaimed dramatically. Gaara simply nodded and made his way to the Tower immediately to work in his office. He didn't care if anyone saw him, he couldn't hide now that he had married Hinata, he was expected to have a public appearance as the Kazekage when they held their wedding.
An actual wedding.
In two days.
Temari had come in and started complaining about not having much time to prepare, but Gaara was staying out of it. He didn't know the first thing about being married, let alone planning a wedding.
It was dark by the time he looked up from his work, there had been much left by Kankoro who didn't know how to proceed. He considered going to the clearing to help him relax but a part of him knew it wouldn't be the same without Hinata there. She had somehow ruined it for him. He went up to the roof instead, hoping that the view of the starry Suna sky would bring him some clarity. He laid and stared at the night sky, feeling the warm breeze turn colder and colder with each gust of wind.
Now that he could relax, he started thinking a bit clearer. Perhaps he was being too hasty in assuming Hinata's deceit. It all seemed like it worked everything out but he also thought about their blood relation. Temari and Kankoro didn't hug that much, but he knew they showed their affection in other ways. He would generally hear them fight once a week, calling each other names and punching each other, and then they would stop and he would hear them laugh. A sign that they both agreed to fight. He found it strange but it was their way.
He was so confused now. Was Hinata in love with her cousin? Was she just being familiar? Did she love anyone else? Why did the thought cause these feelings inside of him to feel ill?
He hoped the night air would bring clarity but now he was more confused than before. These thoughts kept swirling around his head until he heard quiet footsteps behind him. He immediately shot to his feet in case it was an assassination attempt. "Oh! Gaara, I-I'm s-sorry I didn't realize you were out here." Said a quiet, feminine voice. Hinata.
He looked further and saw the young woman holding a warm blanket around her shoulders. He relaxed his stance and sat back on the roof.
Hinata just stood there and waited for something. "M-may I join you?" she asked softly. Walking closer to the side of him.
After he nodded he felt her sit down beside him, quickly feeling the warmth from her side transferring to him. They sat in silence, both having so much on their minds that talking would just complicate things. Gaara didn't know what to do, he couldn't really ask Hinata if she and Neji were lovers, he didn't believe she would tell him the truth anyway. He couldn't think of anything else to say, not that they needed to talk. It just made him think, when he was "Sabaku" in the little house in the clearing, he and Hinata would talk easily. Now it seemed that they were not even friends.
Gaara's thoughts whirled around his mind for a long time before he felt a thump on his shoulder, he could hear the soft breathing before he could see her sleeping face. He hadn't realized how long they had been out here, lost in their own worlds. He softly stood up and picked Hinata up in his arms and started carrying her. Unfortunately Gaara didn't know where Hinata's room was in the tower, not bothering to check when they arrived, so he carried her to his own bed and laid her down gently. Again, the bed practically swallowed her. This one was even bigger than the one at the little house, their little house, and its sheets were black, making her look almost sinful. "Almost like us," Gaara mused to himself, "Light and Dark." Something about it looked right, however. Her pale skin against his dark red blankets among black sheets. He left her then, feeling the same strange feelings in his stomach yet again. He went to his desk instead, trying to work through his official paperwork when everything in him screamed to crawl back into that big bed with the small woman who has been in his thoughts since they met.
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Hinata woke in unfamiliar surroundings. Part of her knew that she was in Suna, but this was not the bedroom she had been taken to. She laid for a few seconds, trying to place herself when she heard a knock at the door. Pushing back the heavy blanket she rose and opened the dark wooden door, rubbing her eyes with one hand while trying to wake up. She heard a gasp before she saw the blonde haired woman staring back at her.
"I know you're married, but I didn't expect things to progress this quickly…" Temari said, shocked.
It seemed like Hinata was struggling to open her eyes, but after she heard that, she felt wide awake. She looked around and at once she knew where she was, she had been here before. Gaara's bedroom.
"N-No! It's n-not w-what it looks like!" She said as she felt her face heating to an unnatural pink.
Temari smirked and then looked past her to the rumpled bed, "Don't worry, I don't judge. Plus, it's good for Gaara." Hinata's face became brighter and she didn't know how to respond. Honestly she couldn't remember coming to this bedroom, the last thing she could remember was seeing Gaara on the roof. She had gone there to calm herself after a nightmare and then saw her new husband looking at the stars, the rest was blank.
She didn't have to reply, however, as Gaara stepped through the connecting door and stared at Temari, as nonchalant as ever.
Temari just raised her eyebrows but didn't comment to Gaara about his new sleeping arrangements. "I was wondering where Hinata was, I was going to ask her to come eat breakfast and then go shopping. When I couldn't find her I assumed she might be with you." Gaara nodded. He didn't deny the fact that Hinata had slept in his bed. Hinata could feel how red her face was and wished that he would at least say something. When silence continued, however, she looked at Temari. "T-That sounds lovely…. Thankyou."
"Okay, go get cleaned up and I'll meet you by the main entrance in about 20 minutes?" the blonde woman said, looking between her and Gaara, a slight smile on her face. After Hinata's small nod Temari left, leaving only her and her new husband.
It was awkward to say the least, he was standing there like the strong leader he was and she was standing there shell-shocked at what had just happened.
He raised a hand to his mouth and looked away from her, "did you sleep?" He asked, muffled by his hand.
"Y-yes, thankyou. I'm sorry I must have fallen asleep on you last night." Hinata couldn't look up, so mortified by the entire situation.
"It is fine." He said, again muffled, and then walked away towards his office. When Hinata didn't hear anything more from him, she went back to her own room and changed into her casual clothes, a purple jacket and dark blue pants. It was incredibly uncomfortable in this heat, but she didn't want to take her jacket off, her top underneath showed too much, felt too vulnerable.
She met Temari by the entrance door and they immediately set off into the village. While walking along, Hinata felt strange. Usually by now she would have been taunted or teased by the villagers, but some of them had been kind, even happy to see her now. Temari must have sensed something amiss in Hinata's demeanor and so she led her into a small coffee shop for breakfast, where no one could hear them talk. After ordering, Temari put her elbows on the table and looked at Hinata. "Are you okay?" she asked, genuine worry in her tone.
Hinata gave her a small smile and told her that it was nothing. Apparently Temari didn't take it as that however, and started speaking again. "Look, if Gaara does anything to scare you or worry you, you can come to me about it. Gaara's my brother but I know he can be worrying at times. Plus, we're practically sisters now, you can tell me anything." Hinata beamed at the words and then frowned a bit. "T-Thankyou Temari, I appreciate it. But n-nothing's wrong with Gaara! He's been a perfect gentleman!" She explained to her sister-in-law. "If I seem a bit strange it's because I'm confused. The… the villagers used to hate me, they would cross the street when I'm there so they wouldn't get bad luck." Temari was nodding, "And now, all of a sudden they're friendly to me?"
She just felt so out of place, nothing seemed the way it was even just two weeks ago. It was hard to get used to the fact that nothing will ever be the same again. It hadn't been long since her mother had passed but everything had changed from that point. She met Gaara, started work, got kidnapped, and had gotten married. She met Sabaku…. She felt a pang in her chest when she thought about him. She would never be able to meet with him again, it just wouldn't be fair to Gaara. She felt the keen loss of her first friend in Suna greatly, she wished it could be different.
Temari coughed and Hinata looked into her teal eyes, blushing when she realized she must have drifted in her mind. "Oh, Temari I'm sorry! I was miles away."
Temari smiled, "That's alright, I was simply explaining why the villagers would treat you different." At Hinata's nod she continued, "First of all, Gaara told me that he had found out about the stores not willingly selling to you. He wrote to all of them explaining that any person to deny you food or anything you needed would have to deal with him personally. He tries to take care of his villagers, he didn't know what the council had been doing without his permission. Secondly, you're walking with me, the past Kazekage's daughter and the new Kazekage's sister, people will treat you different from association. It's cruel and ridiculous, but that is how people's mind's work. If anyone treats you wrong now, they know who you have to back you up."
Hinata just sat there, mouth opened as she listened. She couldn't believe that Gaara would do that…. For her. She knew he had helped her in more ways than one but this, this was something else. This was before they were married, this was before he knew her. It completely explained the woman at the bathhouse being extra nice towards her, and even though it was probably fake it was nice.
Temari's other point made sense, how people would treat her differently now, especially after the wedding when they will all realize that she is the Kazekage's wife. She was still grateful of Temari's support. It was nice to have someone to rely on.
At that moment she realized who she should be seeing right now, Matsuri! She had been so busy it didn't even crossed her mind. At once she asked Temari if they could visit Matsuri and she thought it was a great idea. "We'll ask her to come shopping, the more girls the better!"
After they finished their breakfast they left to go find Matsuri, who they eventually located at the hospital. Hinata heard her before she saw her, Matsuri ran up behind her and wrapped her in a strong hug. "Hinata! Oh I'm so glad you're okay and safe!" She let go immediately and looked at Hinata's face, the faint bruises standing out against her pale skin and the bandage still wrapped around her head and neck, although partly covered by her jacket and hair. Matsuri's face went dark, "I swear if I ever see them, I will make them regret ever even touching you." She said quietly, looking into Hinata's light eyes.
Hinata smiled at her frowning face and hugged her back, "I've missed you so much!" She exclaimed, truly she had missed the protective woman. After they had let go, Matsuri noticed Temari. "Hey! Sorry I didn't see you there!" She said to the blonde. "What are you doing here?"
Temari waved her hand-fan around nonchalantly, "We are going shopping, wanna come?" She pointed the fan at the brunette, "We're shopping for Hinata's wedding dress."
This was news to the two and Hinata stepped back a little bit. "W-We A-Are?" she stuttered, reeling in a small amount of shock. She knew it would happen eventually but she also wished it was just a dream, one she would wake up from. Matsuri was also shocked, but she knew what the outcome of Gaara heading to Konoha to save Hinata would be. She linked arms with Hinata in a show of support and put on a smile, "I get off in about ten minutes, just let me finish up here and then we can head off. We're going to make you the prettiest bride in all of Suna!"
And she was going to be. She swore they had been looking at every single store in Suna that sold dresses. All of them were nice but the two other girls explained that it had to be perfect. Hinata generally thought they all looked fine but she wasn't going to get in the way of the two. They had ended up buying everything except the dress, shoes, hair pieces, Lingerie. At the last bit, Hinata swore her face would never revert to its natural paleness, and would forever be pink. She couldn't imagine doing anything like that, but she knew it was her duty. Temari and Matsuri also wouldn't let her leave without buying normal clothes, so she ended up with bags full of new, breathable, flowy clothes that would suit her perfectly. When they had all but given up on the dress, Hinata saw a small shop with simple dresses in and felt compelled to go in. At first glance there was nothing, but looking harder, at the back of the shop, was it. The perfect wedding dress.
It was a simple, white silk kimono with pale purple flowers and butterflies on it, with delicate stitches. When Hinata tried it on, she felt like it had been made just for her. It reminded her of the kimono her mother used to have, and she would tell Hinata "One day, little one, you will wear your own wedding clothes, and you will be the most beautiful bride." Hinata felt this speaking to her and she had to have it. Luckily there were no disagreements from Matsuri or Temari, both seemingly awed by the choice.
Hinata felt like something in her was lighter and the wedding didn't seem as terrible as it had. Perhaps her mother was looking down on her, giving her blessing. Hinata hoped so.
Returning back to the tower, Gaara was nowhere to be found. Temari had assured her that it was okay, he'd come back eventually, he probably needed time to think. But Gaara didn't come back. Hinata spent her days preparing for the wedding with Temari, who was also becoming worried.
The day of the wedding arrived and Hinata was a bundle of nerves. What if he didn't come back? What if he had left her? What if she had to stand up, all by herself, be humiliated by every villager, every family member. Would her family take her again? She couldn't bare it.
Hinata went through the motions, she did her hair, soft makeup and wore her wedding dress, willing herself not to break down. It was coming closer and closer and closer until finally Temari came in and announced that Gaara had returned. Hinata slid to the floor in relief, breaths coming easier now. He hadn't abandoned her after all.
Hinata didn't remember much from the wedding, she remembered seeing Gaara standing at the front, his white Kazekage robes a stark contrast to his dark red hair. She remember feeling calmer by his side, despite the thousands of people that had come to watch. She remembered Naruto congratulating them after the promises were said, and then sitting at the table while everyone else ate. But after that, she had left with Gaara, who left her in the big room, all by herself.
He left her.
He left her on her wedding night, he left her in the three weeks following. She hadn't seen him at all. She asked everyone in the Tower but nobody had seen him either.
Temari was a good distraction, she made sure that she and Hinata were always doing something, whether it was training or shopping or organising paperwork, anything to get her mind off of the fact that her husband had left. Gaara had left.
Matsuri came around a lot as well, chatting with Hinata for hours so Hinata didn't have to think. Hinata was thankful to have wonderful friends.
At night, however, when it was all quiet and Hinata started to think, she went to the roof and watched the stars. Half waiting for Gaara to return so she could ask him what she did wrong, or what she could do to help. Perhaps he was with another woman, which thought sent a pang straight to her chest. Perhaps he had a lover who he was with right now. Hinata knew she didn't have a right to feel so upset, she had forced him into this loveless marriage In the first place, but the thought of him with someone else caused her pain. She wished she could ask him, she wished she could see him, she wished she could just tell herself to stop waiting every night for him to come back.
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"You're being stupid" the voice inside his head told him, for the fourtieth time that day. He screamed back at it that he knew, but he was protecting her, this is how he could protect her. He couldn't look at her without seeing that dream, without him being terrified of hurting her. It had been weeks since he came to the clearing, weeks since he saw Hinata. The last time he had seen her, she had been beautiful. So pure, so clean. Her kimono brought out a lilac colour in her eyes that he hadn't seen before and somehow it made her look more ethereal. Like a faerie come to save him. But he knew she couldn't, instead he would taint her with his black soul. "Just take the woman, she is yours!" Screamed the voice again. Again he screamed back. It was a constant battle since he had left, it was always so calm when he was around her but now his head constantly felt like it was going to explode.
He hadn't returned home, instead all of his official paperwork had been carried in and out of the clearing through his hawk. He wished he could see her once more but he didn't trust himself. All he could see was him, draining the life out of the sweet and pure soul of Hinata. Her blood bright red against the pale of her skin, her lips blue instead of their naturally sweet pink. He would destroy her if he had stayed. He did what he could, he had saved her from her family, which was all he needed.
It was so silent, he was so alone. He could hear himself think, lying awake at night with the voice screaming in his head to go back to her, for him to make her his. He refused to lay in the bed, instead choosing to pass out in his chair when he needed rest, he swore he could smell her on his sheets. It fuelled something inside of him, a rushing thirst for what he assumed was blood, just making him more determined to stay away. He had sent a missive to Temari, explaining that he was away for Kazekage business. She would see through it as a lie, but this way she wouldn't assume he was on the hunt. Despite how many times in these past few weeks that he had wanted to quench his thirst by preying on others, despite the throbbing in his head and the constant clenching of his fists. He could already see the sweet, red blood. He could already hear the seconds of screaming before he tore out their larynx with his bare hands. He could smell the fear, feel the exhilaration, the pulsing through his veins. But he wouldn't. He would never be able to return to Suna if he went back to his old ways. The blood was already in his pores, he can't wash it out, but he would not dirty himself more when he needed to help the village return to the glory it was before his father ruled.
He thought back to the painting in his study at the tower, the cold, calculating eyes staring back at him. He cursed and screamed in the empty house, "It was all your fault! You made me into a monster!"
Everything came rushing back to him, five year old Gaara standing in the middle of his father's study, holding a shaking blade. He felt his father push him towards the man strapped to a chair, a villager who had denied his father the unreasonable payment his father demanded. He remembered holding the shaky knife to the old man's throat, his father screaming at him to obey his commands. He could see the fear in the man's green eyes, the pleading look, tears that streamed down his face.
Gaara had only wanted his father to love him, but in the end he couldn't do it, he faltered. So his father grabbed his arm and forced him to hurt the kind-looking old man. That was Gaara's first kill, but not his last. Something inside of Gaara had snapped that day, his siblings became at first wary, then terrified of him. He would come home covered in blood, sometimes bringing trophies for his father, he would never forget the look in their eyes. He became good at killing, incredibly good and at some point in time it stopped being a way to please his father, he started enjoying it. He lived for the thrill of the hunt, the kill. Then his father became afraid of him, seeing how strong he was. Despite how he used Gaara, he couldn't control him any longer. It was after the first assassination attack that Gaara started going on rampages without being able to control himself. He was ten when his father sent his uncle, the only man who had shown him the slightest resemblance to love, to cut out Gaara's heart. He hadn't seen his uncle since his first kill, but he remembered his kind eyes and words, the only ones that Gaara had ever heard. Out of self-defence, Gaara killed him, he lay dying in Gaara's arms, telling Gaara that this was his plan all along, he wanted to kill the disgusting monster that had taken his sister away from him. Gaara knew then, that he would never be loved. He was a monster that could only love himself, so he took his knife and carved the Kanji for love onto the side of his forehead, so he would never forget.
Although Hinata had made him feel like he was capable of being loved for a short time, it was a lie. He knew no one would ever love him, not even his siblings. Now his wife was probably with another man, giving him love while he was hiding from her. He deserved this.
He deserved this.
It was another week before he received a message back from Temari, which wasn't a small missive, instead it was practically a letter.
Gaara,
Don't lie to me! I know you're not on Kazekage business, I'm your sister AND your advisor, I would know if you needed to leave for anything.
I thought you were getting better but what you are doing now is nothing short of stupid! Your new wife has been by herself for weeks without any word that you're even alive, and you're enjoying a nice holiday? Hinata hasn't been well lately, she's barely eating and I know she hasn't been sleeping well. She feels like it's her fault you left, despite the fact that I know it wasn't. What happened? You don't rescue a girl and MARRY her to leave her straight after your goddamned wedding!
I received word from Konoha and they need me to look over some more negotiations, when I'm gone I won't be able to look after your wife for you. Who knows if she'll eat if I don't force her? I've asked Kankoro to look after her but he's been busy apologizing to Matsuri for kissing another girl the past couple of weeks. I don't know what's going on Gaara, but you better get your ass back here and tell your wife that it's not her fault you won't come home. She even mentioned leaving, you better make sure she doesn't otherwise you'll be hearing from me again. Don't make me have to beat some sense into that thick skull of yours and come home already.
Temari.
He read and re-read the message a couple of times, feeling the anger of his sister through her writing. He could also feel her worry, not only for Hinata but for… him.
Perhaps he wasn't doing the right thing, but right now he wasn't in any position to go back to Suna, he needed to confirm within himself that he wasn't going to hurt the people around him.
It was another week of talking to himself and worrying before the decision was made for him. It was Tuesday evening when he heard the soft patter of footsteps and the creaking of the door. He immediately went into his secret area and waited. Again he could smell her soft fragrance before he heard her quiet voice, one that he had longed to hear for the weeks past. "Sabaku… Are you home?"
He wasn't going to answer. He needed to stay silent, to protect her, despite every nerve in his body screaming for him to tell her that he was indeed here, hidden behind the bookcase as always. "Sabaku, please I need to speak with you. I need you. Please." He was gone. He couldn't handle her pleading. As much as he willed himself not to speak, without even trying he had already opened his mouth and replied, "I'm here, Hinata." He looked at her then, seeing but a shadow of the woman he married. Temari must have been right when she said Hinata hadn't been eating or sleeping, she looked worn, unnaturally thin. Her once form fitting clothes hung around her frame like a protective shield, covering every inch of the already frail person standing in front of him. Her eyes held dark bags underneath them, a clear sign of nights craving sleep – just like his own. Her hair no longer held the natural shine it once had and instead hung limply over her tight cheekbones. Her face was thin, haggard even as she turned towards his voice. She was still beautiful, there was no doubt about that, she still had her delicate features although more defined and her eyes were still pure, still hopeful. She always held herself gracefully, no matter if she had been beaten to the point where standing was harder than anything she had ever done in her life. No matter if she had not eaten, or slept. When she wasn't nervous Hinata was graceful and poised, half heiress half lioness. She was always on guard but the only way to see it was if you knew the way she walked, the way she moved. Gaara knew. Gaara had watched her as she moved, as she slept, as she stumbled. She was always beautiful.
Even when, like now, her eyes spilled tears over her delicate porcelain face.
He heard her take a shaky breath as they continued to fall despite her wiping them with the back of her hand, "I've missed you so much." She said quietly, shakily.
Gaara had missed her too. He had identified his feeling of missing her when she was kidnapped, and it had intensified since he had left after the wedding. Which is why right now he wasn't ready to let her go, so instead he carried on as the mysterious man, Sabaku. "You have been away for quite some time." He said, knowing why but refusing to mention it.
"I… A lot has happened. I was taken by my family and to be saved, the kazekage – Gaara – Had to marry me." She gave a small depreciating laugh. "I am the kazekage's wife now."
"You are not happy?" Gaara asked, watching her facial expression for something, anything, although he didn't know what.
"Happy? I am… Safe. I have good people around me, I am respected within the village now. But I am trapped in yet another compound." She said as she lowered herself to the ground, hugging her knees.
"What do you mean?"
She took another large breath, "I thought I could make him happy. If I tried really hard I thought I could make him see that I wouldn't be a burden. But I've somehow chased Gaara away. Now I am constantly watched by his sister and Matsuri, or the gaurds. I know they only do it out of worry, but I am never truly free. I will never truly be free. I will never be able to live without being caged like a bird with clipped wings."
Gaara couldn't speak, could barely breathe, the air was so quiet he didn't want to disturb something in the atmosphere that might scare the vulnerable woman in his library. "I won't fly away," She said quietly, "I just want to have the option, or at least some company that will not see me as a soul to be saved, not see me as a pitiable thing who's family ripped the wings off of." She looked up at him then, "I wasn't going to come here. I know it's wrong to Gaara to talk to other men, I don't want him to feel like I have betrayed him. But I needed something, someone. I needed you."