Wee-ooh. This chapter took forever and I'm sorry. Thankyou so much to everyone who kept on supporting me and giving me reviews, even when I'm terrible at updating! . You guys keep me inspired, keep me going. I hope you enjoy this chapter and if not, let me know. I will try and update again before I go back to uni.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.
Hinata had felt elated all night and she told her friends as much as they sat around the dinner table. "I cannot believe I did that… I was so nervous at the start!" She said softly, yet excitedly.
She sat at the head of the table, with Naruto on her left, Matsuri on her right and Kankuro sitting next to her. Everyone around her had a smile on their face, congratulating her yet again.
"I was so proud of you, Hinata." Said Matsuri. "That orphanage was my home for as long as I can remember, to hear that it could have been destroyed…" She smiled at Kankuro as he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I don't know how I can ever thank you."
"Of course you don't have to thank me, Matsuri." Said Hinata, looking a bit taken aback. "It was wrong of them to even suggest such an awful thing. I couldn't stand myself if I had just sat back." The last bit was said a bit softer. Hinata remembered all of the times where she had just sat back and let everything unfold, her heart withering in her chest. She wished she had had the courage she found today, perhaps then everything would have been different. Shaking her head to get rid of the morose thoughts, she paid attention back to Naruto, who had been talking.
"… It was amazing to see you like that, you've really blossomed!" He said with a grin, ruffling her hair. Hinata giggled. "I couldn't have done it without you guys, truly."
As dinner ended and the pairs started to break off, Hinata and Naruto ended up in the lounge-room together drinking tea. "I was being serious earlier, Naruto," she started softly, "I truly couldn't have done this without you and Matsuri by my side." She laid a hand on his arm and looked at him. "I wish I could give you the same courage you've given me."
Naruto looked sheepish. "You know courage isn't what I need, Hin," he said affectionately, "it's encouragement, from her."
Since Gaara had been gone, Hinata and Naruto had become close friends. They had spoken about so much, she telling him about her fears, him telling her about hers. Although it could have been easy to fall into something with each other, Hinata knew both feelings were platonic. Naruto had become a brother to her, somewhat like Neji. He was protective but always cared about her. He let her know when she was foolish but he also helped her when she was feeling upset.
Gaara had always been in her mind and Naruto made sure of that. Every time Gaara's name was mentioned, Naruto tried to simultaneously protect Hinata, while telling her of Gaara's attributes or values or past stories. He truly was a wonderful friend, to not only her but Gaara as well. Although it was hard to get used to at first, it was easy to understand why this bubbly man and her stoic husband got along so well. Regardless of whether they had demons in them or not, they were ying and yang and it just seemed to work.
"Are you sure it's encouragement you need, or is it encouragement you think you need so you can gather courage and just talk to her about this." She said softly, trying not to offend but also getting her point across. "Sakura seems like a really straightforward kind of person, but perhaps she's also unsure. If you're not willing to sit down with her and really explain how you feel, then how is she to know and respond?"
She watched as he rubbed the back of his head.
"That makes sense," he answered "but I also did that. Months ago and it's still fresh in my memory. She turned me down, Hinata, I don't know how I'm supposed to respond after that."
Of course it was never easy, he had a comeback for everything, but the least Hinata could hope for was that she was giving him courage with every conversation.
"You said it yourself, she seems interested lately. Regardless of what your friend says, if you're caught up over it, just talk to her about it. If she really doesn't want you for who you are, then tell her not to give you mixed signals. Talk to her." She emphasized the last bit as it was the most important part of her speech.
"As much as your advice is sound, don't you reckon you should try using it for yourself?" he responded, causing Hinata to pull away. "Gaara will be back soon, a message came from the Hokage that I'm needed back. You need to figure out what you're going to do."
"Naruto," she started.
"No, Hinata. You stop every time I try to have this conversation with you. There's no more time left. Gaara is my best friend, both of you are incredibly important to me. You need to talk with Gaara about what he did and work it out amongst yourselves. I'm sure Gaara didn't mean to hurt you the way he did, you've just got to talk to him."
Hinata stayed silent, she didn't want the conversation turning back to her. She knew it already. Perhaps she had acted rashly, but she really didn't know what to think. Gaara had tricked her and it hurt, it was humiliating. But she knew Naruto was right. Hinata and Gaara were married, and if they were ever going to deal with things, even to make it a civil area, they needed to talk.
"I know, Naruto. I will talk to him, I promise. Thank-you for everything you've done. When will you be leaving?" she asked.
"Tomorrow at first light, apparently something is happening to a neighbouring village and although they have people to go there, the Hokage wants me back in Konoha as part of security."
This had Hinata's attention. Usually they had senior authority for that, it must be something big.
"Do you know why, can you tell me?" she asked, curious.
Naruto looked haunted while he replied.
"There have been a couple of incidents, apparently women all over Konoha have been targeted, they've been…. Hurt badly. Some of them killed." He ran his fingers through his hair. "We've doubled security but it's still been happening, and with this other village and some of the staff gone, they need everyone they can get. Apparently it's happened in a couple of other villages as well, Hinata, so be safe."
After talking for another fifteen minutes, Hinata and Naruto parted ways..
She said goodbye to him the next morning, hoping it won't be too long since she saw him again, and dreading the moment her husband came through the very same gate.
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Gaara fought himself the entire time since he'd gotten back and seen Hinata look so happy in the arms of his best friend.
"Perhaps this is what she needs, perhaps this will make her happy."
Happy? Naruto has confessed to being in love with that pink-haired doctor since you've known him. Once Sakura shows him the slightest bit of affection he'll go running to her and leave Hinata broken hearted!
"Perhaps she's stolen his heart, it wouldn't be unheard of."
Perhaps, or perhaps you're being a stubborn coward and running off again with no reason. Remember Neji? They were cousins!
"That was different, I didn't know her as well back then. That was brotherly love, now I'm not so sure. She looked almost… Elated to be with Naruto."
What if she was? What if he doesn't feel the same way? Now is your time to swoop in and st-
Swoop in and what? He had no idea. He was a monster who doesn't deserve and cannot give love, what right has he to swoop in and do anything. Perhaps he should just leave her, run the village from afar, let her live her life without him.
And then what, mope around for the rest of your life? Why not just talk to her about it like a normal person?
Because he wasn't normal, he would never be normal. The chuckling in his head reminded him of that fact.
"Come on, Boy. We should just take her, who cares what she wants!" said Shukaku, his deep gravelly voice echoing in Gaara's head.
"I care what she wants, I don't want to cause her any more distress." He answered. And it was true. Although he had just worked to get the Hyuuga off of the back of his marriage, it meant nothing if Hinata wasn't happy in it. He couldn't absolve the marriage, since the Hyuuga would swoop right back in, but he could stay away and let Hinata live how she wanted.
She'd moved back into the tower he had noticed. She seemed happier without him.
The thought made his chest ache, with an insistent churning in his gut whenever he thought about it, but he tried to ignore it.
He was different now, he didn't want to be a monster. He didn't want to hurt the people he was close to. He would carry this burden if it meant that they were safe.
He must have been absorbed in his thoughts because he hadn't heard the door open. "So this is where you've been hiding yourself." Came a lazy drawl, and he looked back to see his painted brother leaning nonchalantly in the doorway. "And when, exactly, did you plan on relieving me from your Kazekage duties?" He crossed his arms and lifted one eyebrow.
Gaara looked around him, making sure there was no one else behind Kankuro. "I was planning on taking over the duties soon, but I was going to go by mail. I need a….. Holiday." He finished lamely. Of course he hadn't really expected his brother to believe it, but Kankuro didn't argue. "How did you know I was back?"
"I'd be an awful choice for head of security if I didn't know the most important person in the village was back." Gaara stared at him, waiting for more. Kankuro grinned and rubbed the back of his head. "And Temari may have messaged me, telling me that you were bound to be back in Suna again."
This made more sense, Temari was always looking after him, whether he wanted it or not. "She seems to be taking her own duties pretty seriously." Kankuro gave a little chuckle. Every time they had something to do in Konoha, Temari always managed to find a reason for her to stay for another week or so. Spending time with that lazy man, Shikamaru.
"So you knew to find me here?" he said, a little confused.
"Technically," said Kankuro, "I followed you. From the council meeting." He walked into the little cottage and sat down on the nearest chair. "Don't worry, no one else seemed to notice you were there. However Naruto did depart the next day, whether that was from your presence or from being summoned from the Hokage, I can't be sure."
He looked at Gaara expectantly, almost daring him to ask what was going on, but before Gaara could open his mouth, Kankuro looked away again. "I need to talk to you, it's important and why I'm here."
Gaara found another chair and pulled it up to face Kankuro. Sitting down he waved his hand, "Proceed."
Kankuro took a deep breath as he ran his fingers through his hair. This was obviously something major, Gaara hadn't seen his brother this worried for a while. "There's been something going on in Suna, I tried to deal with it before it got to you but it's getting worse. It's not safe anymore. Women all over Suna have been targeted and hurt, badly. Nearly every week there is a new body or victim, sometimes indistinguishable after the wounding. I thought at first it was simply a lone perpetrator, but there are reports coming from other villages. As a safety precaution, I've been creating more watches and letting people know not to go outside at night by themselves. But I feel we need more. I didn't want to cause any panic among the citizens but I feel we need to create some sort of curfew, warnings. This needs to go public to prevent any other victims." Kankuro looked shaken when he stared at Gaara. "Gaara, the things that happened to these women…. It could have been Matsuri, or even Hinata. I couldn't stand it."
Neither could Gaara. The thought of anything else happening to Hinata made his blood turn cold. If Kankuro was correct, then this was a serious problem. He could not just sit by as he put not only his citizens in danger, but his wife. Hinata may have found courage, but she was still a frail woman. If someone decided to…. He couldn't even stomach the thought.
"Send me all the details of the cases and put out an immediate curfew. You will speak publicly about this as the head of security and warn Suna of the dangers of walking alone." As Gaara spoke, Kankuro nodded his head, agreeing with the actions.
"When will you become involved in this?" he asked. "Suna needs to see their Kazekage standing up for them."
"I will speak publicly soon, but not yet. I will review the cases first. I'll also send a message to Temari's beau, perhaps he can help us figure this out before more victims are found." Gaara didn't want to go in front of everyone just yet, especially not Hinata. He still hadn't figured out what he was going to do about his marriage, he didn't want to put too much pressure on anything while there was such an important issue ongoing. "And Kankuro, don't.."
"Don't tell anyone you're here? I won't. I don't know what's going on and I doubt you're going to tell me anyway. Just don't hide for too long, I need to get back to my job sooner than later."
Gaara relaxed, thankful that his brother was so intuitive. He really didn't want to explain what was going on inside his head, especially since he couldn't really understand it himself. "One last thing though, Bro. While you were gone, Naruto became pretty close to Hinata. I don't want to jump to conclusions but they seemed pretty friendly. I think it's about time you talked to your wife and figured your marriage out."
At Gaara's look, a mixture of rage and stricken sorrow, Kankuro held up his hands. "Don't kill the messenger, man." He then walked out, leaving Gaara.
So Naruto was gone, but apparently Gaara wasn't the only one seeing things between the two. His best friend and his wife… His Hinata. She was his wife, Naruto had no right sidling up to her.
Gaara shook his head and stared at his hands, which were shaking slightly.
He couldn't blame Naruto, he was the one who had told him to get close to Hinata. Of course, it was so that she could get closer to Gaara, understand him more, but Hinata was irresistible, Gaara knew that. It was no fault of Naruto's if he fell in love with the blue haired goddess. Every time Gaara saw her she became more beautiful, so ethereal.
Plus, if Naruto could love her, then obviously he's a better choice than a monster who could never give her what she needs. Not to mention she probably didn't even want him, he never had a chance.
But Kankuro was right, he did have to talk to his wife. Eventually. Not yet though, he needed more time.
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It was quiet when she came, the air was still and the bustling village seemed to almost stop just for her. It was serene, like almost a breath could disrupt the innocent silence. The only way you could tell that things were still going on as usual was the fact that sand swirled around the feet of the villagers.
But when she came… When she came it was like a gust of wind, a force unstoppable by any small person. Temari came into the village stretching her arms and twisting her neck, just enough to release the pressure that had built up after a few days of non-stop motion. "Man am I exhausted!" she exclaimed, turning to the man behind her. The man gave her a look of pure boredom and folded his arms. "Yeah, that was a drag." He said unenthusiastically.
Temari gave him a small push, just enough to move him. "Ahh, it is good to be home. I can't wait to see what everyone has been up to!"
"I really just want to relax." Shikamaru said, not that anyone was listening, Temari had already started moving towards the tower. He sighed, and putting his hands behind his head he followed behind the excited blonde.
Temari got to the tower and stood powerfully in the entrance. "I'm home everyone, no need to worry anymore!" She shouted, causing a few maids to scurry towards her.
"Lady Temari, it is good to have you home."
"Let us bring your packs upstairs to your rooms."
It was strange that no one else had come, but she hadn't really told them when she was going to arrive, perhaps they were out.
"Excuse me," Temari asked the nearest passing maid, "Do you know where Hinata is?"
"Lady Hinata is out walking currently, she should be back later."
Temari would just have to wait to see what everyone had been doing since she was gone. She wondered if her wayward brother had made up with his wife yet, she sure hoped so. He had been grumpy the entire trip, she had been glad when he decided to leave a week earlier than herself. "Come on, Shika," she said affectionately, raising her eyebrows at the man behind her, "I suppose we can nap while we wait."
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It had been a week since Naruto had left and everything felt that much lonelier. She missed having her friend for support, and Matsuri had been busy with work. Even Kankuro was busy with Kazekage duties while Gaara was away. Hinata felt like she had no one.
She had tried to befriend the staff, but they all seemed wary of her, if not completely ignored her. She supposed it was usually unheard of, a maid becoming the Kazekage's wife. They probably wondered if she had trapped him.
A small, bitter laugh escaped at the thought. She had trapped him after all. Put him in the position where he had to marry her.
He didn't have to marry you, though. He could have left you in the hands of the Hyuuga. Her head told her, but she shook the thoughts away.
The silly thing was that she still thought about him constantly, he still made her stomach feel like a cage of butterflies, like a gentle pressure on her chest that took her breath away. Perhaps it was simply because he was handsome. His wild red hair and turquoise eyes were a powerful magnet for her. That and his strong lean body, which she knew could carry her like she was nothing. Or maybe it was his voice, deep and gravelly, his mannerisms, stoic but thoughtful.
"Stop!" she whispered to herself furiously. This was not why she came on this walk. This was supposed to get her mind off of him, not focus on him in his entirety. Of course he was attractive, that was genetics. Both Temari and Kankuro are very attractive as well. As for everything else, that can be disregarded, who knew what else had been a lie.
The more she thought about it, however, the less she was angry with him. It could be the fact that Naruto had drilled Gaara's good points into her, every moment that he could. But it felt like more than that. How could she forgive him for the murder of innocents but not for a simple ruse? Is her ego so large, so ridiculously fragile that she could throw everything away on something so petty? She told herself that she was going to make this marriage work, to make it a… a true marriage. What did she do instead? She ran, like a coward.
I suppose it shows how comfortable she was starting to feel around that group though, that she felt like she had the right to be petty, to be angry. At the compound she would have been beaten into submission. She realised then that she had no fear of Gaara doing anything to her and he'd proven that. He didn't come after her to frighten her or order her back, he left and told his best friend to look after her.
Without even realising, she had walked in the direction of the little house she and Sabaku… Gaara, had shared memories in.
A monster was what he called himself, a monster whose only crime against her was petty deceit. Giggling, she imagined Gaara in an animal jumpsuit, his stoic face against the sweet outfit. He'd be a fox of course, although she imagined him in a rabbit costume and giggled harder, turning into unabashed laughter. Sitting on the steps leading up to the house, Hinata wiped her eyes which had become moist from her enjoyment and smiled to herself.
She looked up at the sky, enjoyed the swirling clouds and the chirping of birds in the distance. It was such a huge difference between here and the harsh desert of Suna. Although both were beautiful in their own way, this place was like an oasis. Luscious grass and bushes blooming with pale purple flowers. Trees that reached up into the sky, but left enough space to allow the sky's light into the clearing. Light that shined upon this little house like a beacon, a light to follow and to guide her. She was meant to come here, she could just feel it. When she had first found out about being forced into marriage, she'd come here. And for everything afterwards.
Pushing open the door she inhaled, smelled the familiar musky scent that made her shiver. The house smelled like him. Maybe it wasn't the house she'd been lead to, but Gaara.
"I wish you were here..." she whispered, holding her arms around her waist.
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He knew she was here, of course he did. He'd heard her giggling on the steps, he watched her as she laughed and stared at the sky. It was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard, paired with the most beautiful person. He wondered if she had gone insane, it was unlike her to be so… joyously happy. He could read it in her body, she seemed less burdened, happier than before. He wondered if it was Naruto….
She'd come inside, pausing at the entrance and smiling. Perhaps it was the memories, perhaps she liked this little house that had once felt like a home, their home. For such a short, bittersweet time.
It was then he heard her. If his ears hadn't been so sharp and honed to the sound of her soft voice, then he would have missed it. "I wish you were here…" she had said, whispered into the house where his most treasured memories lay.
He didn't even have time to stop himself, there was something about her that made logical, thought out decisions a thing of the past.
"Who do you wish for?" he asked, his voice somewhat raspy, but mellow and deep. Like when you hadn't spoken for a while, and your throat isn't used to carrying the weight of your voice.
He saw her jump, and then look straight towards his little nook. "G-Gaara? Is that you?"
God her small head tilt was delightful. If only he could see it without noticing the narrowing of her eyes, or the suddenly defensive stance. How someone so small could look so delicate and deadly at the same time was beyond him.
"I-I wasn't aware that you'd returned." She said, her voice becoming stronger as she kept speaking. He watched as she moved towards him, instead of away. He found it lovely the way she grew more courage every time he saw her. "I decided to finish my business here before returning. I was… seeking quiet." Which wasn't exactly a lie, he had come here for the peace, although he left out the part where he had already returned.
She seemed uncomfortable, her fingers coming together as she walked closer. She stood her ground though, he saw the determination in her eyes. "Why do you still hide?" she asked boldly. "I know who you are. You have no need to hide from me."
She looked so adorably fierce, practically asking him to show himself. He could crush her bones, he could tear her limb from limb, but yet, she stood her ground. And even more, he obeyed. He opened the door at the end of the bookcase and stood before her. The little catch in her breath, the widening of her eyes. She could make men fall to their knees with those eyes.
"Hinata," he said, looking down and making their eyes catch, "it is good to see you again."
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It wasn't fair. It was definitely not fair that he can make her feel weak with simply a look. Seeing him after what felt like forever, it was a kick to the gut. A good kick, mind you. More like fairies twisting her insides, making her shiver. Surely he hadn't looked that attractive when he left. His hair seems longer, his eyes less guarded. Perhaps she was simply looking at him differently. She didn't feel any fear going toe-to-toe with him. Instead of fear it was… Longing. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and breathe in his scent. It was definitely unfair.
His turquoise eyes shined down at her, but they seemed soft, almost amused even.
"And you, Lord Gaara. It is good to see that you've returned safely." She winced at the falseness of her voice. She was the one hiding now, escaping conflict with polite formality.
It seemed to take him by surprise for a second, but then he was back. Watching her face too closely for her liking. "Has your sister also returned?" she looked away, unable to carry on with him looking at her so intensely. He was making her feel so many things. She tried to hold on to the anger that she felt weeks ago but that had all melted away when she first saw him.
"She should be returning soon, I left before her." He replied. She could see his red hair fall when he tilted his head slightly, trying to look at her.
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He couldn't help himself, she was beautiful. A light blush stained her normally pale cheeks and he couldn't resist. A part of him knew that he shouldn't dare touch her with his bloodstained hands but there was some sort of otherworldly pull. Before he could stop himself, he reached out his arm and stroked that rosy flesh. She stepped back, her face looking… Horrified. Panicked.
He looked at his hand, which was curling into a fist. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He said, pulling away.
This, he should have seen coming. Why would anyone, especially Hinata, want to be touched by a monster? He'd done such awful things, killed and tortured innocents at his fathers' whim. Even without his fathers' instruction. How could he put his filthy hands on her, when she was everything innocent and good? He could have marred her skin with the residue of his sins.
He had started to turn around when he felt a tentative hand on his arm, her warm touch sending shivers up his spine. "Wait," she said softly "don't leave." He searched her face and noticed the small blush that dusted her cheeks.
"I...I wasn't frightened, just surprised." Her small head tilted slightly to the side, making her hair fall slightly across her face. "I-It was unexpected, but it wasn't b-b-bad."
Gaara couldn't believe it, it must be another vision. Like the ones he had when he rested, where Hinata put her head against his heart and told him that she loved him. Of course this wasn't the same, but it was more detailed. The colours seemed brighter, more vibrant, her voice was exactly how it should be. She seemed so real. But he should be waking up soon, opening his eyes to emptiness and something nagging inside of him, like a loneliness eating at him.
And yet she was still looking at him, waiting. Her lilac eyes were so enticingly innocent, but he didn't want to destroy it. Inside him arose a deep will to protect that innocence, to preserve this moment forever. He reached out again towards her face, slower this time, wariness showing in his every movement. He watched her for any signs of distress, any signs of fear, but instead of flinching or running away, she leaned right into his hand.
Feeling the softness of her skin, the warmth from her body, he stroked his hand down her face slowly.
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It was if he was testing not only her, but himself. Like he was feeling every inch of her with a single stroke of his fingers. Her body reacted strongly, leaning further into him without any hesitation. It was surreal, almost like a dream she had had before. But yet this, the sensations, it was all real. He was there, touching her, caressing her. He looked like he had stumbled across a priceless gift, almost like he was afraid that if he applied too much pressure that she would break, disappear. If she still had any doubts about her feelings towards him, they were dashed in a moment. He opened something inside of her, a need. A feeling of warmth, of safety, of home. That's why she had felt so comfortable with him, that's why she had been so devastated when she thought it was all a trick. She loved him.
Hinata saw his eyes widen a fraction when he cupped her face full in his palm.
"You're real." He whispered. It almost seemed like he had found this as unreal as she had, as surprising.
"Yes," she whispered back, "As are you."
The both of them stood there quietly, watching each other, as if memorising every inch of their faces for a cold and lonely evening.
His thumb moved slightly, stroking her cheek, then his fingers started moving again. Across her chin, her cheeks, her eyes closed as he lightly ran his fingers over them. She felt his fingers creep towards her forehead, and winced when he touched her raised scar.
"I'm sorry." She heard him whisper. Opening her eyes, seeing his face, she knew he wasn't sorry about touching the scar, but instead about it happening in the first place. "I should have protected you." His voice was low, husky and pained.
"This wasn't your fault," She said quietly, like speaking too loud would break the spell woven around them. "You saved me, Gaara. You brought me home."
The next place he touched was the one that affected her the most. The feel of his soft thumb running around her lips was enough to make her close her eyes. But when he replaced his thumb with the warmness of his own lips, it was like nothing she had ever experienced.
This was it, this was what she had dreamed about. She lifted her hands without really feeling them and ran them through his fiery red hair, deepening the connection.
When they finally parted, he leaned his forehead against her own. His breathing was laboured, not like he was in short supply of it, but it was as if he was controlling himself.
"Gaara, I…" before she could begin, he touched a finger to her lips again.
"Please," he asked quietly, "please don't speak yet. I can't think straight right now. You're doing things to me and I don't know how to handle it."
They stayed like this for a few moments more, then he lifted his head and looked at her. "I do not know what this means, or what to do next."
Nodding her head, "I'm not sure either."
Gaara looked outside at the setting sun and motioned towards it. "You should get back to the tower, I will accompany you."
"Will you be staying there as well?" She asked tentatively. "You don't sound like you're going there to stay." And he didn't, his voice was simply polite, without any mention of him gathering his things.
He looked back at her again, searching her face. "I am unsure if you would be comfortable with that."
"I am, please, it's your home too."
He nodded, and then turned to gather his things. They made the way back in silence, not uncomfortably per se, but each in their own thoughts. When they made it to the tower, they were greeted by an enthusiastic Temari and an unconcerned Shikamaru. "Where have you been, Gaara? You left an entire week before me and apparently no one has seen you! And you, Hinata! Oh how I've missed you!" Temari gave her a long hug. "I hope you've been well, you look thinner, have you been eating? Come with me, I want to hear all about what you've been doing."
Being pulled along, Hinata quietly tugged at Temari's sleeve and told her to go on, that she'd catch up. Looking between Hinata and Gaara, Temari nodded and walked off, grabbing Shikamaru by the arm and dragging him with her.
Turning back towards Gaara, Hinata found him studying her. "I… I don't know what to do now." She said, feeling very shy suddenly.
His deep voice sent another thrill through her, "Go with my sister, she'll not leave you alone until she's spoken with you."
She nodded her head, starting to turn yet again. "Hinata," his voice was soft this time, "We will speak. I need to think but we will speak." His turquoise eyes searched her lilac ones, heating her face. He seemed content with that and left, leaving her with her own thoughts. Shaking her head, she followed In Temari's direction, hoping to speak with the person she had unfairly doubted.
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Gaara found Kankuro in his office when he opened the door, and his brother appeared shocked. "Gaara, I didn't expect to see you. I assumed you'd stay in your cottage like you mentioned earlier."
This was not what he wanted to do right now, all he wanted was to sit down and be with his thoughts, replay his beautiful moment with Hinata. Oh god what had just happened. He and Hinata…. He touched his lips, almost as if he could feel her soft ones against them.
"Yo, are you okay? What are you doing? You look red." his brother said, snapping him out of his dreamland, catching him in his state of bliss. "Gaara….. Are you blushing?" Kankuro immediately stood up and went to Gaara. "You are!" he exclaimed when Gaara shifted his eyes. "What happened?! You've got to tell me everything!"
"No!" Said Gaara quickly. He wanted to keep his memory to himself, cherish it. To speak of it so soon would be to diminish it. "I… I can't tell you."
Kankuro nodded his head and laid a hand on Gaara's shoulder. "Okay little bro, but if you need or want to talk about anything, I'm here. Now! You're back which means that I can get back to my job and my lady love, see ya." He called out the last bit as he left the room and as soon as the door closed behind him, Gaara slid down to the floor. Sitting on his heels, he touched his lips again.
He had kissed Hinata… He had kissed her and she hadn't minded. She'd even moved her lips against his, he still felt his scalp tingling from when she had run her hands through it. It hadn't been planned, any of it. Touching her was an impulse, and when she allowed him, leaned into him, he couldn't resist. When she responded to him so plainly, trustingly closing her eyes, he couldn't help but kiss her. And oh god, when she responded to his kiss.
It had taken everything he had not to crush her in his arms, to take everything she was willing to give. But he stayed in control, barely, he couldn't risk scaring her when he had just found something truly magical. He knew he wouldn't be able to rest tonight, he wouldn't be able to keep her off of his mind. Not that he'd been able to before, but now he now it was completely impossible. Not when she had made him so… Happy.
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Temari was contemplating when Kankuro found her downstairs. After exchanging greetings they both sat down together. "Something seems strange with Gaara today." Kankuro started. "He came into his office and he was smiling, actually smiling. I swear he even looked flushed. A while ago he said that he was going to stay out and correspond all of his Kazekage paperwork, but now he's back, smiling, in his office."
Temari nodded her head as she listened, but in her thoughts she was piecing things together. "Actually," she said "Hinata seemed strange earlier as well, she kept staring into space. She was blushing as well, but that's not unusual for her. She answered all my questions and talked with me, but her mind seemed in a different space altogether." Temari propped her elbows on the table and cradled her face in her hands, thinking. "They came in together as well, do you think something happened between them?"
Kankuro seemed a bit taken aback, but slowly nodded his head. "It must have, only Hinata so far has the power to render Gaara this way. Only question is, what happened? And I thought for sure that…" He trailed off, but Temari's sharp stare made him continue. "I thought that Hinata and Naruto were getting unusually close." It sounded strange to his ears now, earlier it had seemed set in stone. He hoped he hadn't caused any trouble by opening his mouth to Gaara.
"Naruto and Hinata?" Temari repeated incredulously , "No way, I just can't see it. That airhead has been in love with Sakura for years anyway."
"True, but it doesn't always end up like our stories, Temari, sometimes people just don't get the people that they love."
Temari blushed, and then pushed Kankuro softly. "I suppose you know then." She said quietly, feeling suddenly shy.
Chuckling, Kankuro shook his head. "You thought you and Shikamaru were fooling anyone? Everyone's known for ages, we've just waited until you two are admitting it."
"I really do love him, you know. Ever since the start."
"I know, and now can I officially tell him that if he hurts you, he has to answer not only to a fearsome brother who might rip him limb from limb, but also to Gaara."
Temari let out a loud laugh and threw her arms around her brother. "You're the best, and no, don't frighten him away." She sat back down and smiled at Kankuro. "It's true, sometimes people don't get who they love. But if they really love them, they don't give up that easily either."
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The next morning, Hinata was in a constant state of anxiety. She hadn't seen Gaara since yesterday but any moment she expected him to walk around the corner and bump into her. Every corner. Everywhere. Temari obviously noticed at breakfast, but she only raised an eyebrow and then went back to eating her toast. The day went by in the same sort of fashion, Hinata worried that everywhere she went she'd see Gaara and that then she'd have to face him. It's not that she was scared of him, but she was scared of how she'd react. The entire night she replayed the scene in her head and was taken over by the intensity of her feelings for him. Then she'd think of the future. Then everything would go wrong and end horribly, and the cycle starts again. She'd barely slept all night, too busy imagining all the things that could happen.
But the day went by, no sign of Gaara anywhere. Now she wondered if he'd skipped town again, left her, but she couldn't bring herself to check.
It was only when she was in her room, readying herself for bed, already in her pajamas, when she heard the soft knock on the door. She opened it and came face to face with the man who had occupied all of her thoughts. He was wearing a white shirt with grey slacks, obviously his pajamas as well, and his red hair was darker from being slightly wet. He smelled clean, yet still musky, and he looked at her as intensely as she studied him. "Gaara," she swallowed her suddenly dry throat, "I wasn't expecting you."
"I am sorry. If it is too late I can come back another time."
Shaking her head quickly Hinata opened the door wider, "N-no, please, come in."
After they had settled in the small dark green couch at the far end of her spacious room, they faced each other. Both seemingly uncomfortable, it was Gaara who spoke first. "I… I have been meaning to see you since this morning. Unfortunately, my brother has left me an unorganized pile of documents to go through, and I couldn't leave until I had finished them."
Imagining the choas that Gaara's study would most definitely be in by now, Hinata giggled quietly. Gaara seemed taken aback but continued anyway. "I need to… speak with you. About Sabuku."
Hinata felt her heart slow, she didn't want to talk about this, and she wanted to forget it ever happened. But she knew that something had to be said. She nodded her head for him to continue.
"From the start, I've hidden my resting area from the village. It is difficult to find any peace in this tower and it helps me think out in the emptiness. When you came along, I didn't expect you to stay."
Hinata put her head forward, ensuring that her hair covered her face, she didn't want him to see the turmoil that this conversation was causing her.
"But you did stay, and I am glad you did." His voice sounded gravelly, like he had been speaking for hours. "I didn't expect you to talk to me, as Gaara, but you did. I didn't expect the Hyuuga to take you, I didn't expect to marry you. But when I did, I didn't want to lose what I had found as Sabaku. You weren't, and still aren't, as comfortable with me as Gaara as you were when I was Sabaku. I also knew that when you found out…" He shook his head, but she laid a gentle hand on his arm and he continued. "I knew that when you found out I was a demon, a monster, you might leave me. But when that happened, I wanted to still have you as a friend, even as Sabaku. It wasn't my intention to deceive you at first, but I know now that what I did ruined what we had. I am sorry."
Raising her head, Hinata searched Gaara's face, but she knew beforehand that he wasn't lying. He may be a little rusty at interaction with people, but he was honest. This was the most that he had ever spoken to her in one sitting as Gaara, and everything he was saying made her heart beat a little faster.
"Before you say anything, I need to know." He looked away and curled his hands. "Naruto."
Hinata tilted her head, unsure of where this was going. "Naruto is great, he left not long ago? He helped me a great deal."
She wasn't sure, but she swore she saw Gaara wince, it was so hard to tell with his normally stoic countenance. But instead of just a usual disinterest, it seemed forced. "I have heard rumours, about him and you. I need to know if they're true."
He didn't have to say anything else, Hinata guessed where he was going with the rumours of his best friend. "Naruto is a great new friend of mine, and he has been my strength, but that is all. I couldn't… Wouldn't… That is, I would never treat our marriage that way." She felt the red tinge her cheeks. "I-I wouldn't treat you that way either." It was quietly said.
"So you do not have feelings for him?" Gaara was straightforward, and somehow it made him more comfortable to speak with. "You do not wish to be with him? If you did, I know that he would protect you from the Hyuuga, you would not have to worry."
Hinata had started shaking her head when he started the sentence. "I do not have feelings for him like that, and he doesn't hold them for me either."
She wondered if it would be easier for him if she did like Naruto. Perhaps he was waiting for her to leave, to join her new "lover". Hinata knew that she was too emotional, she had been told it since childhood, they had tried to beat the sentimentality out of her but they failed. Perhaps yesterday… their kiss… perhaps she was being overly emotional, looking for things that weren't there. It wouldn't be the first time.
Gaara nodded thoughtfully, looking out of the window that was on the wall next to him, watching the night sky.
"I-I'm sorry about how I reacted when I found out about you being Sabaku." She said quietly, wanting to air her thoughts while she had the chance. She knew she should bring up their kiss, ask what he thought about it, but every time she thought she could her face would heat up and her tongue tied itself in knots. This seemed like the safest choice at the moment.
Gaara shook his head slightly, causing one small droplet to roll down his neck. Hinata was transfixed by it. "Do not apologize." He said to her, making her watch his mouth yet again. "I have been told why it was the wrong thing to do. I did not… understand before."
"That's what Naruto told me," she started, causing him to look at her with his head slightly tilted, "he said that you didn't mean anything bad by it, and that you didn't really think it would cause any harm." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she spoke. "I forgave you a while ago, I realized I was being unfair to you and everything you've done for me."
"I must thank Naruto then. Also for looking after you."
Hinata smiled at him, he was definitely a better man than she had took him for. "P-please do, he has been a great friend. It's easy to see why you two get along so well, you seem to hold each other in high regard."
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He was being unfair, she had just told him that she and Naruto were simply friends, but even then when she talked about his fair hair friend, he felt that clawing feeling in his chest again. "I do." He answered her question. It was the truth, but also not how he was feeling currently. He was definitely being unfair.
But she looked so soft, and so lovely when she talked about him. She looked so beautiful. He wanted his name to be the one on her lips, not Naruto's. It was hard to deal with all of these new reactions, he hadn't felt anything like this before his blue-haired wife entered his home, his life. But now, always having to decipher the aching in his chest, the tingling feeling down his spine, it grew exhausting. It must much easier when he didn't care about anything, but then, he wouldn't have Hinata. "S-so, how did you come by these rumours? I haven't done anything out of the ordinary with Naruto and I'm unsure why anyone would start them." Hinata said, pushing her fingers together in the quaint way she usually would.
"I cannot tell you my source." He said, knowing that his own eyes and that of his brothers, didn't really count all that much. "Only that they mentioned you and Naruto were… 'Cosy'."
Hinata nodded her head thoughtfully. "I hope that you believe me when I tell you there's nothing going on between him and I. I-I haven't been unfaithful."
Gaara knew that. Even if she did hold feelings for Naruto, she wouldn't act upon them for his sake. She was an heiress at heart, always trying her hardest never to dishonour the people around her. "I know." He said. It sounded so ridiculously simple, and yet her face visibly relaxed when he said it, so he assumed he'd done okay.
"Now," he started, watching her head come up to hold his eyes again, "Yesterday."
The way her face turned beet red instantly gave him a jolt of pleasure. That he could affect her this way made him feel powerful, but not enough to overpower her. He knew she would always have the upper hand around him, she could make him feel powerful one second and helpless the next. She was truly the powerful one.
"Y-y-yes. Y-Yesterday, we should talk." And yet, they both sat in silence.
Who knew it would be so hard to talk about, it was a kiss, it wasn't as if they'd pledged their lives to each other. Although they had also done that previously.
But a kiss, a kiss was nothing. Nothing. Gaara looked at her lips, slightly glistening from where she had licked them. He remembered the feel of them against his own, her hands in his hair, the small sounds that came from her throat. His heart was beating faster, he felt like he couldn't breathe. A week ago he thought that he'd never be able to touch his wife, that she would forever be unattainable for him. But now, now it was like an addiction. He hadn't even realized that his hand had come up on its own violation, reaching up to grasp some of her hair lightly between his forefinger and his thumb before he heard her soft gasp. He swore that the smell of lilacs became more intoxicating, made his head spin. Watching her face now, he saw that it was having the same sort of effect on her that it was on him. Her breathing had become faster but shallower, her face was bright red and her eyes looked dazed.
When she opened her mouth slightly and licked her lips, it shattered him. His hand slid up and cupped the back of her head, bringing her closer to him as he leaned in. They were almost, almost touching…. When there was a knock on the door.
Hinata must have jumped about three feet apart from him, so suddenly empty were his hands. Cursing whoever disturbed the moment, he came to his feet and went to open the door. It revealed a guard with a haunted look on his face that cooled Gaara's blood. "Lord Gaara, Kankuro has requested your presence immediately, there has been another one." He also sounded short of breath, like he had run all the way here as fast as he could.
Gaara agreed to meet his brother, turning back slightly to look at Hinata, who seemed as shocked as he was. She gave him a slight nod, and he was gone.
After dressing quickly in more appropriate clothing, Gaara met his brother in a dark space in town. It was almost like a park, except the grass was artificial and the trees were desert trees, blooming with pale pink flowers. Underneath an especially flowered tree, lay a lone figure surrounded by military men. He met Kankuro's eyes and knew that whatever he was about to see was something that would haunt his brother's sleep.
It wasn't the first time that Gaara had seen a womans mangled body before, of course it wasn't. But since he changed his ways, it's been the first one that he'd seen this bad that he hadn't done himself. Her face was practically unrecognisable, from the bruising and the tearing. It was almost as if someone had clawed at her face afterwards, simply for the pleasure of it. In her hair there was one dark streak of blood, her blood, causing her pale blonde hair to sharply stand in contrast to it. One of her eyes was dark green, the other was missing. He hoped that one of his men found it before a villager did. Unless this monster had taken it as a momento.
Her long, willowy arms had been practically pulled out of their sockets and her legs lay at awkward, unnatural angles. It was obvious by her state that she had been ravished, taken against her will. The blood on her thighs confirmed it. But whether it was before or after her stomach had been gorged out, they couldn't yet tell. He hoped it was the later, so she wouldn't have had to go through that as well as the undeniable torture.
He felt sick, sick that this could happen to one of his villagers and especially sick that a few years ago, he could have done the exact same. It was made worse when instead of the ashy blonde hair, he imagined it was a dark indigo blue, her pale skin a contrast against the dark red. He couldn't breathe at the thought. He hadn't realized when Kankuro had come and stood next to him, but he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"I should have warned them earlier." His brother said regretfully. The conference and public speech was set for tomorrow, to warn the villagers of the danger. "If I had just told everyone, taken more action…"
"Stop." Gaara said, turning to face his brother. He was currently wearing his uniform, Gaara could smell the stench of blood on it, he must have been one of the first people to find her. "You couldn't have prevented this, even if you had warned them. Whoever is doing this… They're monsters."
Kankuro watched him with sharp eyes, too sharp. Gaara knew what he was thinking, Gaara didn't deserve what Kankuro was about to say. "You're allowed to be shocked, bro. This… This is different from you. All the things that I've seen, it was never like this."
"But it was close. I shouldn't be allowed to be shocked, this guilt is as much mine as it should be the perpetrators. No amount of penance is going to wash away my sins. As Kazekage, I need to be aware that this is going to affect how the citizens see me as well as how they see the situation."
Kankuro nodded, looking again at the body of the woman, which was currently being prepared to be taken away. "Will we carry on with the warnings tomorrow as planned?" He asked, keen for this to be over and to be in the arms of Matsuri, who can wash away his own guilt.
"Yes but instead of just warnings, implement a curfew and a watch. No women are allowed to walk alone and lend guards to the medical staff and the others who have to work late hours. I want no more deaths if I can help it."
"Yes, sir. I'm going to personally warn Matsuri, I hope you'll do the same for Hinata."
And he would have, but by the time that he had finished all the paperwork identified the woman in question, it was well into the morning, and Hinata's room was quiet. To disturb her when she was resting would only heighten the shock of the warning.
The woman, Suzu Hakimari, had two children that also needed to be told. He could send a member of his guard but he felt compelled to tell them himself. The childrens father had been declared missing three years ago, so preparations will need to be made so they go into custody of any living relatives, or the orphanage. Lee-sing and Shiza Hakimari were the ages of 4 and 6, respectively. With big green eyes and ashy blonde hair like her mother, Lee-sing was a spitting image. Shiza however had bright blue eyes and red hair, assumingly from his father, but with the soft face of the woman in the picture that Gaara had stared at for 30 minutes straight. Gaara realised how difficult it would be to tell them of their mother dying, but it was nothing like he had imagined. Still now he heard their soft, small cries. The helplessness of their situation sinking in.
When finally everything had been done, Gaara made his way to his bedroom and laid on his large double poster bed, staring at the ceiling.
"Doesn't it make you miss the old days?" came a voice in his head. He knew that he could try to ignore him, but it would just make the demon howl louder.
"No, it doesn't." he replied monotonously, meaning it completely.
He heard a chuckle, closed his eyes to try and dim down Shukaku's voice. The noise level was annoying.
"The smell, couldn't you taste it on your tongue, all that blood?" Gaara ignored this. He could taste it, smell it, but instead of the reaction that Shukaku was hoping for, Gaara knew he only felt disgust. He no longer had the bloodlust as he had before.
"Wouldn't you love to rip apart your own beauty? You know you want to. Feel her bones crush beneath your sand, beneath your own bones."
"No, I no longer want to do that. I cannot go back to those ways and I do not want to. I have other things to think about now."
"Ahh," said shukaku, "Your lady love. Your precious wife. Do you think she will love you? Do you think you deserve someone like her? Have you forgotten everything?"
Gaara knew that Shukaku was goading him, trying to make him reveal more of his weakness. It was obvious that Hinata caused him to become weak, but he didn't mind as much now as he did in the start. She also made him feel strong.
"I know I don't deserve Hinata. My past sins condemn me so I cannot love or be loved, that is my curse and my destiny."
"You're right. You'll never deserve her, she deserves someone better, pure. You will never be pure, never be released from your past. So don't fight it, feed it. Feed me! It's been too long since we've tasted the blood of an innocent. If you can't make her love you, then have her body. Taste her, feed on her flesh and her screams. At the very end you will have her. That's the only way!"
"Don't you remember the last woman we tasted? She seemed pure as well. Tasted so sweet, so delicious. You laughed when she cried. Don't you remember? You laughed!"
He remembered. It was at the festival, shukaku had come alive with the light of a full moon. The woman had short, brown hair. Distinctive eyes, a pale yellow, widened in fear. She wore a purple Kimono covered in yellow butterflies. He could hear the banging of the drums, the dancers, the crowd cheering. The screaming. No one else heard the screaming, but he had. First he'd clawed open her arm, drinking the blood to appease Shukaku first. Then he'd pushed her to the ground, stepping on her back as he ripped both arms from their sockets. He'd had no interest in ravishing her, he was always only out for blood. Blood and the screaming. He'd woken up the next morning, covered in her blood, Kankuro and Temari carrying him through the trees away from the festival, away from the evidence. He remembered everything, but he was past the sickness he would have gotten at the start. At this point, he was okay with what Shukaku did, what he did. Because they weren't very different after all.
They were both monsters.
"Ah, so you do remember." Came Shukaku's voice again, breaking through his thoughts. "Do not try to hide from who you are. You're probably already contaminating Hinata with your sickness, so why not just take her and be done with it. She's the reason you're so weak, destroy her and return to the way you were, the way we were."
Shaking his head, Gaara refused to listen to the monster trapped inside of him. "Perhaps I am a monster, I always will be, but Hinata knew that and she came back for me. I will not hurt her. I will not."
"Perhaps," the monster spoke, "you may not try to, but let's see if you can keep her safe from everything, including your own desires."
Gaara knew that he wouldn't sleep again this night, that Shukaku would laugh and force him to relive his past conquests. But when it became overwhelming, he just had to remember Hinata's trusting eyes, the smile on her soft lips, and he was able to calm again.