Chapter 5 - I Care a Great Deal for You

Edd followed Kevin into the basement after saying their goodnights to Kevin's family. He was suddenly incredibly nervous. He had assumed he might sleep in the media room, or in the guest bedroom, but Sylvie told him that Nana Schmidt was enthroned in the guest room, while Aunt Kathy and Marissa were sharing Kevin's room. Kevin had been relegated to the media room couch and that's where Sylvie decided Edd should go.

"Just behave, you two," she warned teasingly. "Leave enough room for Jesus."

That had quite embarrassed Edd and highly amused Kevin. The embarrassment came because this conversation happened in front of Kevin's whole family and the implication mortified Edd. Sylvie apologized and gave him a hug, but his cheeks wouldn't return to their normal color.

The knowledge that they'd be sleeping in the same room on the same couch caused some amount of anxiety for Edd. It was far more intimate than he was ready for, though he knew nothing would happen. Kevin wouldn't do that to him; he knew that. Yet something made him wary about the whole situation. The couch itself was quite large and a sectional. Edd would have one wing of it and Kevin the other and the couch was long enough where their feet wouldn't even touch at the corner where the sides met. Still, Edd worried because he had no idea if he snored or drooled or talked in his sleep. Eddy and Ed had never said he did, but that didn't mean he didn't. What if Kevin saw or heard him, became grossed out, and wanted nothing more to do with him?

He tried to tame down his thoughts. Kevin was fond of him and cared a great deal about him, Edd was sure. He knew Kevin wouldn't drop him over something like that, but the thought stubbornly stayed in his mind as they entered the media room.

Kevin had already slept there the previous night, as his family had arrived the previous afternoon, so there was already a messy pile of blankets and pillows on one side of the couch. "Sorry I didn't straighten up, Dee," Kevin said with a slightly guilty tone. He knew how Edd was about neatness.

"It is ok, Kevin. We shall just have to make up our sleeping spots is all. Which bedding should I use?"

Kevin picked up some folded sheets from the coffee table. "These are for you. Mom freshly washed them. The pillows are clean too," he added, gesturing with his full hands to a couple of them that were on the empty side of the couch where Edd would sleep.

"I appreciate that," Edd said, accepting the sheets from his boyfriend. He was able to keep his mind off his apprehension as he busied himself with making up a place to sleep with the sheets and the blanket Kevin gave him. Kevin also made his side a little neater. Edd watched him as he worked on his own side with a small smile on his face.

Edd then picked up his bag and looked again at Kevin. "I think I shall go into the bathroom to change, Kevin."

"Alright Dee. I'll go in after you."

It only took Edd a few minutes to change into his sleepwear. He had outgrown the onesie pajamas and now opted for just shorts and a t-shirt. He washed his face and hands, brushed his teeth, then took off his hat to brush out his hair, frowning as always at what he kept hidden. Usually he slept without his hat, but he knew he wouldn't be able to tonight. He wasn't ready for Kevin to see him without it. He knew Kevin wasn't shallow and probably wouldn't care, but their relationship was still relatively new. Part of him thought that Kevin should see him – all of him – before they got to a point where they would consider themselves fully committed to each other, but his insecurities still had a pretty tight grip on him, so back on went the hat.

Kevin was on his spot on the couch looking at his phone and looked up when Edd came out of the bathroom. He smiled and stood, pressing a small kiss on Edd's forehead, before disappearing into the bathroom himself.

Edd placed his bag behind the couch and came around to the front of it. He stared at his spot on the couch for a minute before diving in and turning over onto his back. He pulled the covers up over himself and clasped his hands on his chest. He lay there stiffly, staring at the ceiling as he waited for Kevin to return, his thoughts in a turmoil.

When he heard the door open and Kevin come back into the room, he spoke up, "Do you think we could leave a light on, Kevin? Not a bright one. Maybe the one over by your guitar?"

"Sure, Dee."

"It will not keep you awake, will it?" he asked anxiously. "I would just feel more comfortable."

"Nah, nothing much keeps me awake. I'll be fine." He switched off the other lights, but left the small light in the far corner on. "That ok? Do you need more?"

"That shall suffice, Kevin. Thank you."

"Don't have to thank me, sweetheart. I want you to feel ok. I know you're a little nervous to be here, so anything I can do, I will."

Edd felt his heart fill with affection and he tilted his head up to smile at Kevin – Kevin who had paused at the couch next to him and was looking down at him with his own smile.

"I usually sleep with a nightlight," Edd admitted. "It is a comfort as the house is so quiet and dark without my parents there."

Kevin lowered himself to his knees next to the couch and put an arm over Edd's stomach so that he could gaze at the boy. Edd returned his look calmly, though he felt his heart speed up. Kevin was looking at him so lovingly. "You don't have to worry. I'll be here to protect you," he assured Edd in a soft voice.

In spite of his nerves, Edd reached up to touch Kevin's cheek. "I know, Kevin. I am not worried. It just does much to reassure me. Especially in a place in which I am not familiar."

Kevin turned his head enough to kiss Edd's palm, which caused a shiver to run up his arm. "I know we're not, like, really sleeping together, Dee," he said, then hesitated for a moment, "But this is nice. I'm looking forward to sleeping down here with you. It feels like another step closer to you. Means a lot to me that you're willing."

"Of course I am willing, Kevin. I care a great deal for you."

Kevin smiled again, then leaned forward to kiss his boyfriend as Edd's hand slid to the back of his head. "I care a great deal for you," he said huskily before pressing his lips against Edd's.

Edd knew what he meant. It was as close to saying they loved each other as they felt they could do so soon. He closed his mind off from those thoughts, however, as he concentrated on the feel of Kevin's lips and the way Kevin's fingers lingered on his cheek. Kevin shifted himself and crawled on top of Edd. It certainly wasn't the first time Kevin had pinned him down and kissed him like this, but tonight Edd was hyper-aware of Kevin. There were blankets between them, but they were only dressed in sleep clothes and Edd felt the intimacy much more than he ever had before.

It surprised Kevin how Edd responded. He knew his little boyfriend was nervous about this, and Kevin knew exactly why. He knew how Edd was about intimacy and he knew Edd was nervous about sharing the couch. Kevin was too. He didn't want to push things too far with Edd. Edd was sensitive and Kevin respected that. He supposed he could have let Edd have the media room while he slept in the living room, but his mother had surprisingly suggested to him a few days ago that they both sleep downstairs. When Kevin had looked at her with that surprised expression, she laughed.

"I trust you boys to behave, Kevin."

"I know, Mom. I'm just surprised I guess. Most parents usually don't let that stuff happen," he said in an embarrassed tone.

"You're nearly an adult, sweetheart. You can make adult decisions," she said with a shrug. "Besides, you said that you and Edd haven't…" she left it hanging.

"No!" he nearly choked, turning bright red.

She didn't comment on his reaction, she merely nodded. "Not that I exactly think sex is a bad thing, dear, but I know that it's something important to you, and that you were waiting for the right person."

Kevin covered his face with his hands. He knew his parents were open about talking about sex; both of them had the 'talk' with Kevin years ago. While they were practical enough to never say to Kevin that he couldn't sleep with anyone, they made sure he knew how to be safe and smart about his decisions. It was in his nature anyway, so his parents' needn't have worried. Even before Edd and before realizing he was gay, he knew he wanted to wait for someone special, which he had told his parents.

"Edd is the right person," he said, though the conversation embarrassed him. "But I know he's not ready yet. I think I am, but it'll take awhile for him to be."

"That's what I figured honey. So I know I don't have to worry!" She patted him on the head as she left the room.

But now, as Kevin hovered over him, pressing his body down on the smaller boy beneath him, Edd responded so willingly that Kevin's breath was almost taken away and he got excited. It took everything in him to control himself. Kevin's lips sought out every inch of exposed skin on Edd's face and neck, going so far as to push his t-shirt aside enough to reach his collarbone and shoulder. Edd's breath kept catching and he was breathing shallowly enough that Kevin was afraid he might hyperventilate. Edd's wrists were caught by Kevin's hands, pressed into the pillow on each side of his head, but Edd wasn't struggling. He returned the kisses on his lips with fervor, or tilted his head back to allow Kevin access to the more sensitive areas.

Edd shifted enough that Kevin's knee pressed between Edd's legs and Kevin realized he was basically straddling Edd's one thigh. Edd put his foot more firmly on the couch, which made his leg lift so that it contacted Kevin in a way that made his head spin. Kevin couldn't help but rut a little against Edd's thigh, rubbing his hardness against Edd. It felt so good. His lips were on Edd's neck at the moment he did it, and he sucked harder than he normally would have. He knew he'd leave a hickey, and that Edd would probably be upset about it. He always did his best not to leave marks.

He was completely surprised to hear Edd's breathy gasp, "Oh Kevin…" He stopped moving his hips and noticed he must have rubbed against Edd as well, if the excited hardness of his boyfriend was any evidence. Kevin lifted his head and looked down at Edd, whose eyes were closed. He didn't look upset, but Kevin didn't want to push things too far. Edd's eyes fluttered open and he stared up at Kevin and the two looked at each other for a minute.

"Dee, I'm sorry," Kevin finally said, pulling his leg out from between Edd's and moving to sit up. He released Edd's hands as he did and Edd brought them to the couch so as to angle himself up into a sitting position. With the pressure off his legs, Edd pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Kevin pulled Edd's blanket up enough to attempt to hide his excitement, though he knew that was pointless. Edd had already felt it.

"You do not have to apologize, Kevin," Edd said in an even tone. Edd didn't sound mad or anything. He sounded like he normally did. His face was flushed, to be sure, but he gazed at Kevin with a look between fondness and desire. It was not the expression Kevin expected to see.

"No, I do. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. I didn't even realize what I was doing until you said my name."

"I did not object, Kevin. When I said your name, it was with pleasure, not for you to stop."

Kevin blinked a few times, unsure how to respond. Edd wanted that? Wanted to go further?

"However, I am glad you stopped," Edd continued, looking down at his knees. "I am not ready for that level of intimacy, I do not think, even though I physically enjoyed it. My body certainly enjoyed it." He saw Edd smile, though his eyes stayed downcast. "You are very tempting to me, Kevin. I think one of the reasons I am a little uneasy tonight is that I know how difficult it is to resist you."

"Dee, I don't mean to make you feel like that. I don't want you ever to think you have to do something just because I want it."

"I still find it difficult to believe you want this with me."

Kevin stared at Edd after that soft voiced admission. "How can you say that? You don't have any idea what you do to me?" When Edd shook his head, Kevin said, "Look at me, Dee, please?"

Edd's eyes lifted and the smaller boy felt his heart beat faster.

"I know I've probably got a reputation around school. I mean, I've been ragged about it enough. Love 'em and leave 'em kind of thing. That's not really me. I think it came about because I'd take a girl on one date and then never again. People assume things, and I'm sure some of those girls probably made up stories or whatever. I've never done anything, though, Dee. With anyone. I know it's probably stupid," he said with a shrug. "Or old fashioned, but that kind of stuff means something to me. I've only ever wanted to do that with someone I really care about, you know?"

Edd nodded a little as he listened. "That is how I feel, Kevin. I mean, until you I guess I never really thought about sex or anything like that. I do not know if it was because I did not know I liked boys or because I generally had no interest. I actually thought I was asexual, to be honest. Until you. I had never had the desire for anything until you."

Kevin smiled, pleased at that. "Same here, Dee. You're the first and only person I could ever picture myself with like that."

Edd thought for a moment, taking in the underlying things that weren't said. If Kevin were saving himself for someone he truly cared about, that meant that he truly cared about Edd, and that meant something even more. Edd knew he felt the same, but he couldn't bring himself to say it just yet. "And I you, Kevin."

"I don't want you to worry, though, Dee. I don't care if we wait until tomorrow, next month, or next year, I can wait until you're ready. It won't mean anything unless we're on the same page, if that makes sense."

"It does, Kevin, and you don't know how much it means to me."

"I do know, Dee, because it means that much to me too."

The pair looked at each other for a few moments before Edd spoke up. "As much as I would like to continue kissing you, Kevin, I think I am a little too worked up for that. I might make a hormonal choice as opposed to a logical choice."

Kevin laughed at that. Edd was just too cute for words. "Ok Dee. That's ok. Besides, we have to get to sleep or Santa won't come."

Edd chuckled at that too, as Kevin stood up from his spot. Edd tidied the covers back up with Kevin's help and then let Kevin tuck him in with a chaste kiss on the forehead.

"This shall be my first experience with Santa," Edd mentioned. "I am looking forward to it."

"I am too. Night, Dee. Sweet dreams."

"They always are, now, Kevin," Edd answered.

A/N: I realized that while in my first story, they'd sort of skirted the issue, they'd never actually talked that plainly about sex. So here you go. Kevin had told Edd he'd be patient and wait, but I thought this conversation appropriate for them at this stage...and to show that Edd is getting closer to it himself.