Katara's mind is reeling, trying to process what she's just heard and failing miserably, trying to dismiss it as some ridiculous rumor, or to explain it away as anything else, hoping desperately that Chit Sang is wrong.
She's dimly aware that the others are also still, eyes wide, mouths slightly agape. Some remote corner of her brain notes that she's not the only person having trouble digesting Chit Sang's story.
She wants very badly for it to be some sort of joke, no matter how horrible a joke it would have to be. Even some sort of cover-up, some sort of rumor made up to keep people from knowing what really happened, some sort of accident maybe, would be better than this.
Suddenly he's there, standing at the edge of their makeshift table, and by the way he catches sight of their expressions and blanches, she knows that there's been no mistake. Everything Chit Sang told them was true.
Katara cannot stop herself from staring at the scar marring his face. Neither can anyone else.
Zuko's father burned him.
She doesn't want to think about how badly he must have been burned to leave a scar like that. His eye on that side is left in a perpetual glare. His ear is nearly gone.
It's not something he ever draws attention to, and he's had the scar since they first met him back home in their village. By this point, most of them don't really notice it. Very rarely has Katara given thought to what it might actually mean, for a firebender, a prince of the Fire Nation, to be so badly scarred.
The truth is, she hasn't wanted to.
Zuko takes a slow, deep breath. The small, distant part of Katara's brain that is still paying attention to the world around her beyond grappling with these revelations notices that the fire entirely fails to react.
He closes his eyes, briefly, and takes another breath. Again the fire remains still.
Katara's not sure why that last part matters.
Zuko turns to look at the older firebender, and something in his gaze causes the older man to flinch. "How much did you tell them?" he asks.
His voice is low, even, and steady. Almost conversational. For some reason the hair on the back of Katara's neck prickles anyway.
Chit Sang swallows nervously. Lowering his eyes, he takes an unsteady breath before speaking.
"Forgive me, Prince Zuko. I was surprised they didn't know. I didn't realize you didn't want them to."
Zuko doesn't respond to that. Instead he continues to stare the man down, and it occurs to Katara that Chit-Sang isn't just nervous.
He's afraid.
Of Zuko.
Aang clears his throat, and Zuko's glare shifts immediately. "He was just trying to help," the younger boy says, his voice small. "He thought maybe-"
Zuko turns back to Chit-Sang. "How much?" The words are ground out, as if he's trying to hold on to his temper, and suddenly Katara doesn't want to know what will happen if he can't.
"Everything," she blurts out, because he looks about ready to skewer the man, and based on the way Chit-Sang is staring, wide-eyed at Zuko, the older firebender is currently mentally incapable of defending himself.
Zuko turns to her. There's something dark in his gaze, but his tone is once again even as he addresses her.
"Everything?"
"The war council. The Agni-Kai. That your father didn't just banish you." Katara's voice is somehow also steady.
Zuko's eyes narrow, and he studies her for a moment, his golden eyes boring into hers.
"Did he tell you that I refused to fight?"
Katara nods. Zuko echoes the action, but there's something absent about the way he moves his head, like he's not fully aware that he's doing it.
"Did he tell you that I begged my father for mercy, and in reply he took my face in his hand and set it on fire?"
Somewhere beyond the golden eyes that are taking up most of Katara's attention, the older firebender pales. Outside of her field of vision she can hear Sokka's sharp intake of breath, and Aang's gasp.
Zuko holds her attention, golden eyes burning with rage and pain and desperation and yes, even shame. None of it is readily audible in his voice, just as none of that emotion leaks into his expression.
Katara forces herself to shake her head.
"No."
Zuko's lips twist into a sneer.
"Well now you know."
He's waiting; for what Katara doesn't know, but she knows he's waiting for something, or else he wouldn't still be here.
She still can't get past Zuko's father burned him while he begged for mercy, and the part of her that keeps noticing things that she can't quite understand the significance of is aware that whatever's happening now is important, and that right now she's dangerously close to messing things up, possibly for good.
She needs to say something.
She has no idea what to say.
Something shifts in those golden eyes, and then Zuko sighs and looks away.
"Nevermind," he grumbles. He turns away from the group, most of the tension bleeding out of his frame, and starts walking toward the courtyard.
"Give him some space."
Katara startles. She has no idea when Toph got here, but the girl is reaching out and laying a hand on her arm as if to discourage her from following the firebender.
"Are you sure it's a good idea for him to go off on his own?" Sokka manages. His voice sounds a bit strangled, but Katara can't really blame him. "I get the feeling he was waiting for someone to say something."
Toph huffs in annoyance, letting go of Katara in the process. "He was waiting for you guys to not act like a bunch of nit-wits, but clearly he was expecting too much." She shakes her head at them.
Katara eyes the girl warily. "Did you know? About his-?"
Toph stares sightlessly up at her in a way she usually reserves for when she thinks someone is being particularly dense.
"I knew he had a scar," she grumbles. "Which means that someone had to burn him badly enough to leave a scar. Which means they had to be a powerful enough firebender to leave a scar. And I know that whoever burned him was able to get close enough to a Fire Nation prince to do it. That doesn't leave a lot of options." Toph scowls at no one in particular. "I didn't know the specifics, no. I didn't need to."
Maybe she has a point, but really, Katara's spent so much time trying not to think of him as anything other than Fire Nation, and then trying not to think about him at all, that she hasn't actually spent any time thinking about how he got the scar in the first place.
Toph lets out a sigh.
Aang frowns at the girl. "Are you sure he needs space right now?" he asks. "I don't think I'd want to be alone, if it were me."
Toph shakes her head. "Trust me, the last thing Sparky needs right now is a hug."
Aang looks a bit sheepish, but Toph's right. Zuko doesn't really do physical contact when he isn't upset.
"So we just leave him alone?" Suki asks. The compassion in her voice makes Katara feel guilty. So does the concern in the Kyoshi Warrior's eyes, for that matter. "There must be something we can do."
Toph turns and smiles. It's not a nice smile. Sokka suddenly looks every bit as wary as Katara feels as she joins them at the table.
"You can quit acting like you expect him to betray us next chance he gets," the earthbender says pointedly, tilting her head toward Katara's father. "He's just as much a part of the group as anyone else. Actually, he's been with us longer than some of you-and you wouldn't be here if it weren't for him anyway, so cut him some slack."
She whips her head around to fix her sightless gaze on Chit Sang, who to his credit doesn't look away. "If he wanted everyone involved in his personal affairs, he'd tell us. Maybe mind your own business, and trust that if Sparky feels like we need to know something, he'll let us know."
Katara stirs. "He didn't tell us he was freezing," she points out. "Or that he wasn't getting enough to eat."
Toph huffs at her impatiently. "He told me why he was cold when I asked." She scowls. "He also admitted that he had gotten used to eating less when he was on the run with his uncle. But tell me how announcing to the entire camp that his father set his face on fire and then kicked him out of the Fire Nation actually helps anything."
Katara doesn't have an answer for that.
Katara has been lying awake in the darkness for several hours when Zuko finally returns. She can barely hear him as he pads softly through the room, trying not to wake anyone. She hears him pause, can see his silhouette in the dim light as he looks toward the corner of the room where he normally sleeps, then over to where she and Toph are huddled under a blanket.
Sokka sits up, careful not to disturb the airbender fast asleep beside him, and waves, catching the firebender's attention. Zuko hesitates a moment longer, then carefully crosses the room to join them.
She can barely make out Sokka moving, waving again, and Zuko ducking his head before settling down between her brother and the Avatar. If she had to guess, Sokka's still worried about the firebender being warm enough. She's surprised Zuko's going along with it, though. It makes her wonder if maybe he isn't fully recovered from his time in the coolers after all.
She can just make out the sound of Sokka whispering, though the actual words escape her, and Zuko whispering back. She can't tell what he's saying any more than she can understand her brother, but neither of them sound particularly angry, or upset, so she stays still, listening to the sound of the two of them whispering in the darkness until exhaustion finally gets the better of her and she drifts off to sleep.
"Hey, Zuko?" Sokka feels the other teen tense in the darkness beside him and wonders if he's doing the right thing. "I'm just gonna say it. Your dad's a jerk. Like, the jerkiest jerk. The king of all Jerks."
Zuko lets out a surprised huff of air. Then, "Yeah, he is."
"Firelord? More like Jerklord. Emperor Jerklord, even." Beside him, Zuko relaxes just the tiniest bit. Encouraged, Sokka continues. "I mean, I guess we all knew he was a jerk, but man, I did not think he could be more of a jerk than he already was."
Zuko tenses again. Sokka tries a different tactic.
"We don't have to talk about it. Unless you want to. It's up to you."
Zuko doesn't immediately answer, but he doesn't leave, either, which is a win as far as Sokka's concerned.
"It doesn't matter," he says at last. Sokka narrows his eyes, but it does absolutely nothing in the current darkness. He can barely make out the other boy's head-his scar isn't even visible right now. Neither is the rest of his face. Zuko sighs. "I mean, it happened years ago, you know?"
Sokka nods, then realizes Zuko probably can't see him.
"I guess that explains why you weren't that upset that your dad tried to shoot lightning at you," he says, and immediately regrets it, but instead of getting angry or upset Zuko has to stifle a laugh so as not to disturb the younger boy on his other side.
"Don't forget Azula," the firebender says when he regains control of his voice. He doesn't sound particularly upset, even though if Sokka's right he's suggesting that his sister would be just as willing to kill him as his father.
"Nice family," Sokka offers, clamping down on the horror that threatens to rise up at the realization. "So you're the black sheep?"
Zuko snorts. On his other side, Aang moves, but does not wake up.
"You should give Suki a demonstration with your swords tomorrow," Sokka suggests, yawning. "Kyoshi Warriors take their training seriously. She might even give you a run for your money, if you can get her to spar with you."
Zuko is quiet again, then, "I think I'd like that."
Sokka chuckles. "Just don't hold back. Just because she's a girl doesn't mean she won't wipe the floor with you if you give her a chance."
"What does her being a girl have to do with anything?" Zuko asks, and still somehow manages to sound utterly bewildered in spite of the fact that he's whispering.
Sokka almost laughs before it occurs to him that growing up with Azula would probably have very quickly dispelled any sort of notion that girls were weaker or more fragile than girls. He shrugs instead, and figures that the firebender can probably feel the motion, even if he can't see it.
"Did you know that Katara had to convince her waterbending teacher to let her study with him?" he says. "He wouldn't at first. The Northern Water Tribe only allowed men to learn waterbending. The women were expected to study healing instead."
Zuko needs a moment to process that before he can manage a response. "Why?" he asks after a moment, and the confusion is still very much there.
"Something about women being weaker," Sokka says as if he didn't used to believe the same thing himself what feels like a lifetime ago. He doesn't feel like the same person he was back then. Sometimes it's almost scary, how different things are. How different he is.
He can feel Zuko staring at him.
"Azula was always better than me at firebending." There's a hint of embarrassment in the words, still leftover after however many years. "Her fire was stronger. Women are taught just the same as the men. They fight the same, too."
"That's right," Sokka remembers, "I've seen female soldiers serving in the Fire Nation army before. I never gave it much thought, to be honest."
He can feel Zuko shrug. "I can't imagine telling someone they can't do something just because they're a girl," the firebender admits, and Sokka does not expect the wave of irritation that he has to fight back at the admission.
"Back home, tasks were divided up based on gender," Sokka says, not entirely sure why he's suddenly annoyed, but trying not to let it slip into his voice. "The men hunted, protected the village, went to war, and the women took care of the home and the children. That's the way it's always been. Of course, we didn't have any rules about learning waterbending. Katara was the only one left in the south."
Zuko flinches.
"I didn't mean anything by it," Sokka says quickly. "That is-"
"I know my people wiped out the waterbenders in the southern tribes," the other teen says. "And the air nomads," he adds softly, as if admitting to wiping out one group of benders wasn't enough.
"Which is why we're trying to stop the Firelord and the war," Sokka reminds him. "And anyway, there are still waterbenders in the northern tribes."
Beside him Zuko shivers. "I remember," he says.
"I can't believe you challenged Katara to a fight at the north pole." Sokka wonders, sometimes, if the firebender beside him is just a little unhinged, or if he was just desperate.
Based on what he now knows, a lot of his past endeavors could easily be written off as desperation rather than sheer insanity.
The silence this time is a little uncomfortable, like it always is when someone brings up the fact that Zuko used to be their enemy, but Sokka figures that it's one of those things that just going to take time. Since Katara's not here to yell at him for it, he doesn't bother backtracking or changing the subject.
It's not much worse than Zuko's usual awkwardness anyway.
Sokka wakes up several hours later to someone ripping his part of the blanket off him with a growl. By the time he realizes Zuko is the blanket-thief he's also figured out that he's sweating, and that the cool night air is a relief. The firebender lies back down, and Sokka can feel the warmth radiating off his back.
It's enough to keep Sokka from getting chilled as the sweat cools on his body, and he moves closer without consciously thinking about. He hears the other teen's breath catch at the contact, then even out.
Somehow it's comfy without the blanket, and Sokka has just enough time to think that this is most likely why Toph refers to him as her personal furnace before he dozes off once more.
Disclaimer: Avatar: the Last Airbender does not belong to me.