Anonymous said : Could you please write a gerita one-shot with werewolf!ludwig c:?
"It's racist."
Feliciano scoffed. "It's not racist, Lovino! How can it possibly be racist? I'm not asking anyone to strip or sit on my face or turn into a giant doggy in front of me and run around, I'm just going to make friends and learn about—"
Lovino jerked the wheel. "You want to fuck a werewolf!"
"I do not!" Feliciano's voice was getting higher. "I'm going to learn about them. Especially after knowing we have that gene or DNA or whatever, I figured it's good if one of our kids turns out to me a—a, you know—"
Lovino made a face. "It's racist."
Feliciano crossed his arms. "Yeah, but—"
"Holy shit, if you ever get one of those 'woof' bumper stickers, you can get your own fucking car and forget me ever giving you a fucking ride again anywhere."
…
WEREWOLVES CAN BE VEGETARIAN TOO – BREAK THE STEREOTYPE !
…
Feliciano sipped on his drink, really wishing that he was drinking something red and alcoholic and not watery apple juice—he wanted a glass of wine.
And the place they were holding the meeting was really, really creepy. It was in a basement of a church. Not that Feliciano had anything against churches, of course—it's just that his church was warm and friendly and didn't have a basement.
"Wow, this place is really creepy," Feliciano said, more so it was out there than anything.
The hot werewolf man was avoiding Feliciano's gaze and, well, ignoring Feliciano in general.
"Don't you think so? It's so funny, actually, that I meet you here! It's ironic, I think, because you know, how I found you and everything. And now here we are! At the same werewolf support meeting." Feliciano sipped his watery apple juice. "I'm Feliciano Vargas, but a lot of people call me Feli."
"It's quite the coincidence," hot werewolf man said, awkwardly.
God, he was so attractive.
"It's not, like, weird or anything between us, is it? Because, I mean, I think every werewolf has at least one awkward moment of passing out in a stranger's yard as a wolf and waking up in the nude and needing to borrow the stranger's really small clothing and then seeing that same person at a werewolf support meeting. What's your name?"
Hot werewolf man glanced down at him. He was tall. And buff. And he could turn into something that could easily rip out Feliciano's throat.
(Feliciano was very happy he wore the tight boxer briefs.)
"Ludwig."
Feliciano smiled, and Ludwig looked away again.
"I think werewolves are hot," Feliciano said.
At the same time, someone announced: "We're beginning the meeting."
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WEREWOLVES ARE NOT MORE AGGRESSIVE – BREAK THE STEREOTYPE !
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"Well," Feliciano said, standing, "I'm not really a werewolf. I have that—that thing, in your body? I can't remember what it's called, because everyone is looking at me, but basically it means that I can turn into a werewolf, maybe, and my kids also maybe might turn into werewolves, too, but there's only a twenty-five-percent chance."
Ludwig was staring at Feliciano's knees. He hadn't looked at Feliciano the entire time they had been having circle time.
Or, well, he didn't look when he thought Feliciano was paying attention. But Feliciano was sure Ludwig had looked at his ass.
"So, I'm here to learn more about werewolves, and maybe make some friends."
This time, Ludwig definitely met his eye.
When Feliciano smiled at him, his eyes flicked away, and he cleared his throat.
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MEDICATIONS CAN CONTROL FULL MOON TRANSFORMATIONS – BREAK THE STEREOTYPE !
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"Why are you here?" Ludwig asked, voice coming from his chest, deep, straight to Feliciano's knees.
"I said last week," Feliciano said simply.
"I do not think that's true." His jaw clenched. "It's not fun being a werewolf. I do not have fun worrying if I will kill someone. For some reason, you think it's attractive." And his fists were clenched.
Feliciano shrugged. "Anyone can kill anyone."
Ludwig looked at him like he had grown a second head.
"I can turn into a giant wolf and rip out your throat."
Feliciano nodded. "Yeah, but anyone can kill anyone. Like, everyone drives around in these huge, giant, metal machines that could swerve off the road and kill everyone walking on the sidewalk, but no one has PSA announcements for breaking the stereotypes about getting crushed to death by an eighteen-wheeler or a motorcycle."
Ludwig froze, and then turned on his heel. Feliciano was worried he had offended him—never good when you wanted to get laid—but all Ludwig did was get his briefcase and walk brusquely back to Feliciano.
"These," Ludwig said, opening the case, "are the number of pills I need to take to try and keep my hormones in check. "And some weeks, I can still turn."
"Is that why I found you passed out on my lawn?"
Ludwig snapped the briefcase shut.
Feliciano panicked. "I—uh—I take iron pills. Like, a lot of iron. I'm really iron deficient. Like, there's nothing wrong with needing medications or pills or whatever and still have something weird with you. Really, really deficient."
Ludwig frowned. "Do you have a cast iron pan?"
"No, not really, I tend to cook in stainless steel, because it's easier to clean and it looks really good hanging up on this rack thing I have in my kitchen. Why?"
"You can get an iron boost from cooking in cast iron pans."
"Oh, wow, really?"
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WEREWOLF BLOOD AND SPIT DOES NOT SPREAD LYCANTHROPY – BREAK THE STEREOTYPE !
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Lovino shook his head. "Nope. I'm not feeding this sick fucking fetish."
Feliciano's voice was already getting higher. "It's not a fetish, Lovino! I have a legitimate friend who I want to visit!"
Lovino only sank further into the couch. "No fucking way."
Feliciano stood in front of the TV. "Lovino, come on! It's not my fault I don't have a license, and a lot of those werewolf guys are okay."
"Are you aware that 'a lot of those werewolf guys' can kill you?"
Feliciano threw his hands into the air. "So can you and your sucky driving!"
"Fuck you!"
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WEREWOLVES CAN BE BALD – BREAK THE STEREOTYPE !
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"Feliciano?"
Feliciano turned. It was cold, especially after the sun set.
"Ludwig! That was a boring meeting, don't you think?"
Ludwig stood uncertainly a few feet in front of the doorway. "Where are you going?"
Feliciano looked at his bike and back to Ludwig. "Home?"
Ludwig frowned. "It's dark. And cold. There's supposed to be frost forming tonight. And you don't have any reflective clothing on."
Feliciano nodded. "My brother sucks. It's fine—I once rode to Blockbuster and back in a snowstorm, at twilight-time, and I almost got hit by a car, but I ended up returning the videos before I got a really bad late-fee, so I can probably make it back." Feliciano looked at his bike again. "I don't have a license," he tacked on lamely.
"You don't have a helmet, either," Ludwig said.
"Helmet hair."
Ludwig sighed. "I can give you a ride home. I assume you live within a few miles of the church, am I correct?"
"Oh yeah, real close."
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WEREWOLVES HAVE NAILCLIPPERS – BREAK THE STEREOTYPE !
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"I'm pretty sure we're going around in circles, Feliciano."
"No, we're not, take a left right—you missed it." Feliciano watched Ludwig's profile. The streetlights illuminated the stubble on Ludwig's chin, and Feliciano found himself absently wondering what Ludwig's stubble felt like when he kissed. "How often do you have to shave?"
Ludwig didn't even glance over. "Once every two days—before." His lip quirked. "Now, it gets worse when the full moon is approaching."
"Oh, well I think the stubble looks good, and I'm sure your other parts look okay, too."
"My…" The question died on Ludwig's lips.
Feliciano laughed. "Sorry! Do you really get more aggressive when it's the full moon?"
"Ni—No. I produce more testosterone than usual, so while this tends to lead to aggression, it can also lead to—"
"Horniness?"
"What?"
Feliciano grinned. "Hm?"
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BARKING AT WEREWOLVES IS DISCRIMINATORY – BREAK THE STEREOTYPE !
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"Feliciano, have you ever seen a dog dick?! It has a sheath!"
"Shut up, Lovino!"