Andrew spent most of Saturday with the Reids, taking Maggie and Grace to the park after tea while Jimmy went down for a nap and then reading to all three children when they got back.
He looked so happy with Jimmy settled in one arm and Grace and Maggie curled into his sides, but every so often his eyes would cloud and he would tighten his hold or press a kiss to their heads. It was as if he were trying to fit years into minutes and it nearly broke his father's heart as he stood silently in the doorway watching.
Hugh's hand on his shoulder made Foyle start and he turned slightly, easily reading the concern in Hugh's eyes as he watched Andrew interact with his children. He knew Hugh and Elaine worried about Andrew but as he looked back at the settee Foyle realized they had an entirely different set of worries as well.
The girls adored Andrew and seemed to be under the impression that he all but walked on water, which Foyle had always been touched by. Now though he saw the scene through Hugh's eyes and knew that as much as Hugh worried about Andrew he must also worry about what it would do to his daughters if anything should happen to him.
The fear crept back up his throat and Hugh's hand tightened on his shoulder, "Come have some tea Christopher"
Foyle nodded and allowed Hugh to steer him down the hall to the kitchen and press a cup of tea into his hands, grateful for the easy conversation that Hugh and Elaine allowed to flow around him without expecting him to join in as he composed himself again.
By the time they went home for supper Andrew was clearly exhausted but there was calmness in his eyes that hadn't been there night before, as if some hurt had been assuaged.
Studying his son as they sat down to supper Foyle was struck by how sincerely Andrew had meant his comment about being glad to meet Jimmy at least once and he looked down at his plate, chewing hard on his cheek until the swell of emotion past.
Hugh and Elaine had decided it would be easiest to have a small christening ceremony at the start of church. It would just be them and the Reids'; Hugh's younger sister who was godmother had a young family of her own and couldn't make it down for the service.
Despite how tired he was Andrew seemed loath to go up to bed so, as they had the previous evening, they settled in the lounge and Andrew once again fell asleep on the settee to the familiar murmur of his father's voice. It had been years since Foyle regularly read Andrew to sleep but he found it still brought the same warmth to his chest.
When they arrived at the church the next morning they found the Reids standing towards the front of the church; Elaine trying to soothe a fussing Jimmy and Hugh trying to reason with Grace, who looked very putout. The girls immediately ran to Andrew while Foyle crossed to Hugh, "Morning Hugh, everything alright?"
Hugh sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Morning Christopher, yes everything's fine; Gracie's just cross about Jimmy's christening gown"
Foyle frowned but before he could ask why they heard Grace saying, "Andrew Mummy put Jimmy in a dress! Jimmy's a boy!"
Foyle chuckled at both the problem and the look on his son's face, while Hugh sighed again, "I've tried to explain it to her but…"
"She's as stubborn as her father?" Foyle finished, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
Hugh snorted, "Certainly what Elaine tells me whenever the girls or Jimmy are being difficult; Jimmy was very decidedly my son when he needed his nappy changed at two this morning."
Foyle nodded, "Yeah I seem to remember that was always when Andrew was mine too."
While they were speaking Andrew had picked Grace up and sat down in one of the pews settling her in his lap, "It's not a dress Gracie, it's a christening gown. They do look the same but lots of little boys wear gowns to be christened; I did."
Gracie looked unconvinced her frown deepening as her little brother refused to settle, "Jimmy doesn't like it Andrew!"
Andrew smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "I think Jimmy probably just needs a clean nappy and you're a very good big sister for worrying Gracie but I promise it's alright. Don't you think it's nice that Jimmy is being christened in the same gown as you and Maggie?"
"But we're girls and girls wear dresses"
Andrew sighed, "That's right but this isn't a dress Gracie. Do you remember when I used to sing in the choir?" Grace nodded, "Do you remember the gown I used to wear? That sort of looked like a dress didn't it?"
"It did but a sort of a funny one"
Andrew nodded, "I agree but it wasn't odd for me to wear a choir robe even though it looked like a dress just like it's alright for Jimmy to wear a christening gown. Sometimes we do things a little differently for church and that's alright."
Grace considered this and then nodded, "Will Reverend Matthews really pour water on Jimmy's head? Maggie said he would."
Andrew nodded, relieved that the gown issue seemed to be resolved. "Yes he will, he poured water on your head when you were christened"
"Oh, I think Jimmy won't mind that though 'cause he likes baths."
Reverend Matthews came in a moment later and the congregation settled, the Foyles and Reids moving to the front of the church so the ceremony could get under way. It was a short service, Andrew reciting his part in a clear carrying voice that gave all of the adults present a glimpse at the leader the war was shaping him into. Thankfully Jimmy didn't mind having his head wetted and they all returned to their seats for the rest of the service.
As soon as the service ended it was time for photographs. The photographer took one of Hugh, Elaine and Jimmy, one with the whole Reid family, one with just the Reid children, one with Andrew, Jimmy and the girls and then finally one of all them; Jimmy in Elaine's arms, Hugh standing beside her with one arm around her and the other around Maggie with Andrew and Foyle on Elaine's other side, Grace perched happily on Andrew's hip.
Once the photographs had been taken Elaine insisted on having the Foyles over for tea so Andrew got another chance to read aloud to all the children, seeming to treasure it just as much as he had the day before.
The next day, with his father and Mr. Reid needed at the station and the girls at school Andrew was at loose ends so he had went over to the Reids to see if he could help Mrs. Reid with anything before he had to catch his train.
He had gone to the shops with her so he could carry the shopping and walk Jimmy when he got fussy in the longer lines and now he was pacing in the lounge trying to convince a recently fed Jimmy that it was time for a nap.
"If you have a nap now you'll be up when Maggie and Gracie come home from school Jimmy" The baby stared up at him, as if he were hanging on his every word and Andrew had a sudden irrational desire to never let him go.
He swallowed hard, "I know you're going to grow up to be kind and strong and brave, just like your sisters will and if this war is for anything at all Jimmy it's for the hope that you won't remember any of it, that it will be over long before you're old enough to understand it."
His shuddered a little at the thought of the war stretching until Jimmy was older and when the tremors didn't stop he hastily sat down on the settee, bringing the baby securely into his chest where there was no chance his trembling hands could drop him and pressing a kiss to the top of his head, murmuring, "I know you may not remember me Jimmy but I promise I'll never forget you."
The words came out choked and suddenly Andrew was sobbing, crying harder than he had in years, completely undone by the knowledge that he might never get the chance to watch the baby in his arms grow up. He wept bitterly but silently, his tears baptizing little James Reid for the second time in as many days.
Elaine stood unseen in the doorway, tears running down her cheeks. She had heard Andrew start to cry but knowing he would try and stop as soon as she set foot in the room she had stayed out of sight, longing to comfort him but knowing this would actually do him more good in the long run.
When Andrew had cried himself out he looked down and saw that Jimmy was fast asleep, one tiny hand grasping his jumper. He smiled softly his heart swelling with a painful combination of love and fear as he pressed another kiss to the baby's head murmuring, "I love you Jim."
He knew he ought to put the baby down in his cot and go and see if Mrs. Reid needed help with lunch but he was suddenly utterly exhausted and he didn't want to risk waking Jimmy by setting him down.
So instead he toed off his shoes and carefully maneuvered himself so he was lying on his back, his arms wrapped securely around Jimmy. The warm weight of the baby on his chest was soothing and without really meaning too Andrew fell asleep.
Afraid that she would wake him if she went to cover them with a blanket Elaine watched them from the doorway for a little longer and then quietly returned to the kitchen to finish lunch.
They were still asleep when Hugh came through the door thirty minutes later and he stopped in the middle of hanging his hat to study them. His son, not yet a month old his future stretching endlessly ahead of him, and Christopher's, a young man who was risking his future to protect them.
It was heartbreaking and Hugh swallowed hard against the lump in his throat resolving to order 2 extra copies of the photograph with Andrew, Jimmy and the girls from the christening, it wasn't nearly enough but like so many things at the moment, it would have to do.
As quietly as he could he finished hanging up his hat and coat and went in search of his wife. He found her by the stove and slipped an arm around her waist, "Hello love"
Elaine smiled and leaned up to kiss him, "Hello Hugh, the boys still asleep?"
Her eyes were stormy in a way that told Hugh there was more to the question and he tightened his arm around her, "Fast asleep love" he murmured and she turned willingly into his embrace.
He ran a hand up and down her back, feeling the shakiness of her breathing and waiting for her to tell him in her own time. "Oh Hugh it's so unfair! He's just a boy, they all are!"
She began to cry and Hugh held her close, letting her muffle her sobs in his shoulder, "I know love, I know"
And he did, he looked at the casualty lists and read the names of young men he remembered as little boys, saw their grieving parents trying to carry on and dreaded Christopher receiving a telegram from the war office with the worst news any parent could hear. Two decades earlier he'd lived it, had watched boys who were younger than him die in pointless charges into machine gun fire and had nearly died the same way.
The stark reality of what was at risk was fast asleep on his settee right now; the future of his children lay in the hands of other people's children, just as the futures of the men now fighting had once rested in his and Christopher's hands as they waded through waist deep mud.
A gentle hand on his cheek brought him back to the present and Hugh found himself once again in his kitchen with his wife in his arms. "It's alright Hugh you're home now."
Elaine's voice was soft and soothing and Hugh held her as tightly as he could without hurting her, burying his face in her hair and letting her help him put the memories back in the past and ground him in the present.
The minutes ticked by as his heart rate slowed, the roar of the guns fading once more to be replaced by the comforting way Elaine's fingers danced over the back of his neck. Finally he took a deep breath and drew back slightly, "Sorry love"
His wife shook her head firmly, "I won't let you apologize for the war Hugh, either of them"
It was what she always said if he tried to apologize for his flashbacks or nightmares and he scrubbed a hand over his face and then forced a smile, "I'm fine darling. Now how can I help?"
Elaine studied him for another minute and then leaned up to kiss him tenderly, "Could you check on the boys? I'd like Andrew to sleep as long as he can, he clearly needs it."
Hugh nodded but instead of stepping away he bent his head and kissed her deeply. "Thank you my darling, for always knowing"
Elaine laid a hand on his cheek, "I love you Hugh in sunshine and in shadow." Hugh smiled weakly and kissed her again before taking a deep breath and heading quietly for the lounge.
As luck would have it Andrew and Jimmy slept straight through lunch, giving them the unexpected gift of a private meal. Jimmy began to wake just as Hugh was preparing to leave and he quickly extracted him from Andrew's arms shushing him gently, "Shh you're alright, Daddy's got you"
Andrew immediately jerked awake, pushing himself up on his elbow and scrubbing a hand over his face, "Scramble?"
Hugh forced a smile, "No, there isn't a scramble. You're home on leave Andrew, go back to sleep"
The younger man frowned, "Mr. Reid? Where's Dad?"
"He's at the station Andrew, you're at our house. Don't worry everything's fine, Jimmy just needs a clean nappy." Andrew still look confused but before he could object further Elaine came over with a blanket and tucked him in, quietly assuring him that everything was perfectly fine and within a few minutes he had fallen back to sleep.
They stood beside the settee, taking in the dark circles under his eyes, and sharpness of his cheekbones with concern before Jimmy began to fuss more volubly and they moved back to the kitchen so he wouldn't wake Andrew again.
Hugh pressed a quick kiss to the baby's head before passing him to Elaine, "Sorry love I should get back to the station"
Elaine nodded and leaned up to kiss him, "Of course. If you see him, please tell Christopher I'll make sure Andrew has eaten before he has to catch his train." Hugh nodded and with another weak smile, headed quietly out the door.
Although Hugh was a very close approximation of himself when he got home that evening, listening attentively to the girls tell him about their day and helping with Jimmy, Elaine knew him well enough to see the shadows lurking in his eyes.
As such she wasn't truly surprised when Hugh started to shout their son's name a few hours after they went to bed; his head tossing desperately from side to side as she pushed herself into a sitting position beside him.
"Hugh, it's alright darling. Jimmy's fine, everyone's fine. You're home now"
She waited and then repeated the words softly, longing to brush away the tears that were streaking down her husband's face but knowing better than to touch him while he was still caught in the nightmare.
It felt like forever but it was probably less than 10 minutes before Hugh's eyes opened and he sat up, "Jimmy?" He asked urgently, voice rough, eyes searching the room desperately.
"He's fine Hugh, the girls too."
Hugh nodded and rubbed a hand over his face, moving to swing his legs out of bed. "I just need..."
But Elaine was one step ahead of him and turned to carefully hand him their sleeping son. Hugh exhaled shakily as he pressed a kiss to the baby's forehead. "I love you Jimmy"
Elaine shifted closer running her hand up and down his back, noticing that his pajama top was damp with sweat. She didn't say anything, not even when Hugh's hands began to shake, just slipped her free arm around the baby so he was cradled more firmly to Hugh's chest.
A stronger tremor woke Jimmy enough to mewl softly and grasp Hugh's pajama top with one hand as he snuggled closer to his father's warmth; clearly very content to be getting a late night cuddle.
Elaine closed her eyes in relief as she felt Hugh's breathing level out as he pressed kisses to the top of their son's head, whispering quiet words she didn't try to decipher knowing they weren't for her.
They stayed like that until Jimmy began to mouth at Hugh's chest, voicing his displeasure when it didn't yield the desired result.
Hugh chuckled softly, "Sorry little one, I'm afraid only Mummy can help you with that" He glanced at Elaine, waiting until she had settled herself comfortably against the headboard and adjusted her nightgown before pressing a final kiss to Jimmy's forehead and handing him to his wife, smiling softly as the baby began to nurse with single-minded determination.
He watched for another few minutes and the pressed a kiss to the side of Elaine's head, "I'm just going to check on the girls."
Elaine nodded, watching him leave the room before turning her attention back to the baby at her breast. "You're going to be big and strong like your Daddy aren't you Jimmy?" Jimmy's only response was to continue to eat and Elaine smiled softly.
She wasn't surprised when Hugh returned with two cups of tea just as Jimmy was finishing and she was pleased to see that his hand's were steady as he placed the cups down on the bedside table; checking on the girls always helped him settle after a nightmare.
"I'll take him love, you drink your tea while it's hot"
He held out his hands and Elaine pressed a kiss to Jimmy's head before handing him over and readjusting her nightgown, "Our son has a very healthy appetite"
Hugh grinned; "I seem to remember the girls did too" His smile was suddenly replaced by a worried frown as he sat down on the edge of the bed beside her, "Are you feeling alright? Should we talk to White about getting him on some formula?"
Elaine smiled, "I'm fine Hugh and the midwife said we were both doing well remember?"
Hugh nodded but shifted Jimmy so he could take her hand, "I know but there wasn't rationing with the girls and if he was on formula as well I could take some of the night feedings and you could get more sleep."
Elaine squeezed his hand reassuringly, "I love you for worrying Hugh but I promise I feel fine, having a newborn is tiring and the war does add to that but the midwife is watching both of our weights carefully and she says they're right on track so please don't fuss. I promise I'll tell you if it starts to feel like too much or if the midwife has any concerns alright?"
Hugh nodded and leaned forward to kiss her tenderly, "Alright, I'll try not to fuss darling but I love you both far too much not to worry."
Elaine smiled against his lips, "I love you too Hugh. Now unless our son needs his nappy changed why don't you settle him and then come and drink your tea while it's still warm?"
A quick nappy change later Jimmy was once again fast asleep in his bassinette and Elaine had her head resting on Hugh's shoulder as they finished their tea. She waited until Hugh had put his empty cup down before lacing their fingers together and asking quietly, "Do you want to talk about it?"
He shivered, tightening his arm around her and staring ahead of him for several long minutes. "I was…" He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and Elaine snuggled closer, knowing the story might come slowly but that he would tell her now that he'd started.
"I was in the trenches…Passchendaele…" He shuddered again and Elaine squeezed his hand comfortingly, she knew of everything he'd been through it was Passchendaele that most often haunted his dreams.
"He…Jimmy was…" Hugh's voice broke and there was a long pause as Elaine rubbed his back, waiting patiently for him to continue. "Jimmy was Andrew's age and he was beside me and then he'd gone over and I couldn't…"
The words were suddenly pouring out, his voice rough and cracking, "I couldn't find him in the mud Elaine…I couldn't find our son…" His voice broke and Elaine, tears shining in her own eyes, drew his head down on to her shoulder and held him tightly as he began to sob.
"He's safe Hugh, Maggie, Gracie and Jimmy are all fine."
"It was hell but it was done…now I'm not sure what it was for…"
The anguish in his voice broke Elaine's heart and she took a deep breath before replying, "No one could foresee the Nazis, certainly not in 1917. You fought for our futures, our children's futures. The costs were far too high but this war doesn't undo what you all accomplished."
"It feels like it does"
Hugh spoke without lifting his head and Elaine ran a soothing hand up and down his back, "I know darling but I promise you it doesn't."
His sobbing gradually eased but Hugh made no move to extract himself from his wife's arms, gratefully soaking up the comfort that she offered and relaxing further into her arms as she began to massage his neck.
Finally he drew back far enough to kiss her tenderly, "I love you so much Elaine"
"I love you too Hugh." She studied his face carefully, laying a gentle hand on his cheek, "My brave policeman, are you alright?"
He turned his head to kiss her palm, "Yes, thanks to you. It's late darling and Jimmy is bound to wake us in a few hours, we should get some sleep."
Elaine nodded and kissed him softly, "Do you promise to try and sleep, not try and stay awake all night?"
Hugh chuckled weakly, "You know me far too well love but yes I promise I'll try and sleep." Elaine nodded and with a final kiss she lay down, waiting for Hugh to do the same before turning into his embrace, enjoying the closeness after months of being impeded by her baby bump.
Hugh pressed a kiss to the top of her head, wondering for the millionth time what he'd ever done to deserve her. It was true that Elaine liked to sleep like this but he also knew she was fully aware that he slept better and was less likely to have a second nightmare when she was in his arms. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on her breathing and before he knew it he was asleep.