A.N: Thanks to the reviewer who pointed out I had posted the same chapter three times! (I don't even know how I managed that.) Have a chapter early as a 'sorry' gift!
Alexander's health quickly deteriorated. Before two days had passed, he and his mother lay in bed together unable to move. None of them ate. They barely drank. There was nobody to look after them. Neither of them had any friends that would think to check on their absence.
They were alone.
Growing weaker and weaker by the day, his mother knew she'd have to explain to Alex that she wasn't going to last much longer. She would likely die within the day. Alex was weak, but much stronger than she was, she had faith that he would make it through this.
"Alex..." she rasped, "I... need you to... remember something..."
"Mother?" He prompted when she didn't elaborate.
"I... I love you so, so... much. I'm sorry I... couldn't provide you... a better life..."
"Mother-"
"I'm sorry about... James," she said the name as if it physically pained her, and it did. Every breath she took was full of hurt and fear. Not fear for herself, but for her child.
"No, that wasn't your fault," Alex said softly.
"It was. I shouldn't have... married him," she said before descending into the biggest coughing fit she had had in a while. Too weak to lift her hand to cover her mouth, the blood splattered the blanket. It scared Alex, as he realised she was saying goodbye.
"Mother, please..."
"No, Alex... Just... remember I love you. And... when I'm gone-"
"You won't-"
"When I'm gone," she repeated more forcefully, "You need to give this... to the man at the docks." She handed him a crumpled letter that she had written the night before. "Then... You do what he says... okay?"
"Yes, of course, but you're not-"
"I am, son," she interjects. "But that's... okay. I don't have long-" she coughed again as if to punctuate her point.
"Mother," Alex whispered, tears rolling down his sunken cheeks. "I love you..."
She stroked his cheek, using the last of her energy up to utter her last words. "My... son... Be brave..."
Alexander started sobbing, holding his mother close to his chest. how could she leave him!? He had no one else! His father left, now his mother was-
He choked out a heartbreaking sob. Why did everyone he loved leave!?
Everyone who loves me is gone.
Love only gets you hurt. Love was for romantic sissies with more hearts than brains.
With that new realisation, he broke.
So, the alter Carys was born. She lay in her dead mother's arms, and cried for her. Alex wouldn't accept love again. But Carys would.
A day and a half later, Alex came out again, and assumed he must have fallen asleep, although he still felt exhausted. He felt his mother's cold form and his tear-streaked cheeks. He felt oddly numb as he realised...
He couldn't move. Why should he? He had no reason to. He had no reason to do anything anymore.
'Be brave', his mother told him.
But he was scared. He was so scared.
There was nothing to get up for. Nothing to do. No one to speak to. Nobody would be there to cook for him, to hold him when he was upset, to read to him at night.
He couldn't be brave.
Oh, how he wished he was brave. He used to be. His father beat it out of him, though Alex didn't remember that. He had pushed bravery away, not even realising it. And at this moment, he needed it. He needed it so badly, that he ached for it. But he just couldn't muster up the courage to find it, telling himself that there was no point.
He unconsciously split his mind again, creating a personality that could be brave, that could handle the situation he was facing.
The new boy called himself Castiel, recognising it as the name of a powerful angel. For that was what he was there for. To be powerful and strong when Alexander couldn't be.
And right now, he had a letter to deliver.