Oh my god it's been so long. Hi, hello, how are you guys?
I came back from Korea and actually just moved to LA. Now I'm attending university here. It's hectic and I'm so busy, but I've just been so inspired and motivated to write, so I managed to get this done. I'm actually settling down now and starting to get used to life.
Sorry if there are a bunch of typos... I was so excited to post that I didn't even proofread haha.
I hope I can update more things very soon! I'm beginning to juggle all my courses and clubs and whatnot with writing and having fun, so we'll see how long this goes before I crash. But for now, I'm back! Yay!
Holding one hand over her belly and reaching the other out in case anything new on the forest floor caused her to trip, Soo walked with purpose. Her eyes adjusted to the black of night and she barely registered the soft fluff of moss beneath her hand as she touched each familiar tree to guide her way back. All she knew was her desperation to get out.
"Just a bit further, darling. Mama will get you to safety," Soo whispered, stepping over a gnarled root and letting her slipper dip against the softly packed dirt. The scent of wet earth and the chirping bugs made her head buzz, but Soo kept her head on straight and remembered the route So had showed her out during her first few weeks in the forest.
"This is the way out. If you go that way for two hundred paces, your town will appear. Do you want to leave today?"
"Now that I know the way out, I can leave when I want to. But today, I don't think the weather is right enough for me to go back. Let's return to your home so I can finish my sewing."
Lightning bugs illuminated her way and Soo breathed deeply, pausing to catch her breath. She remembered the way her mother had tired easily when pregnant, and feeling the same exhaustion for the first time, Soo paused to gather herself. She leaned against a tree and sighed, holding her chest and wiping the sweat from her brow.
Trepidation flowed into her as she thought about her old family, the one she'd lived with before she had found her place beside So. Whenever So went into her old town, he brought news of how they were faring and often informed her of little things he knew she would care about. Her younger sister had married, her younger brother also taking a wife. The family had scrounged up enough to build a new fence.
Giving her belly a gentle rub through her rough dress, Soo thought of the verbal abuse she would endure once she returned. Gone for a year and then back with a baby in her belly. Her own parents would call her a whore and a beggar, but anything was better than losing her child to the cruel mind that lurked within the forest.
"We should get going. It'll be dawn soon, and Papa will search for us when the sun rises."
As she stood from the tree, she heard a soft but unmistakable rustle. Purposeful, but masked thuds lightly hammered into the dirt around her, alerting her to a new, foreign presence.
No animal could replicate the sound of boots pressing into dirt, the quiet march of someone unwelcome in the forest trekking towards her.
Eyes opened all around her, white and gleaming in the dark. Their soft breaths curled into the air, clawing fear into Soo's heart as she clutched her belly and looked for any way to run. They were close to the edge of the forest, and if she could gather enough stamina to sprint to the edge…
No, these were men. Men that held gleaming weapons in their massive hands. Their teeth shone, blunt and smiling, their eyes betraying their bloodlust. Shades of black and gray masked them into the dark, leaving only their pale faces and hands for Soo to discern.
Her heart stopped beating, her hands clawing into her dress to protect her belly. Sweat dripped from her forehead and dread pooled in her belly, locking her in place as four men crept towards her, cutting off all exits.
"I'm not a threat to you!" Soo cried out, pleading to the four men that entrapped her. Their hoarse chuckles echoed off the tree trunks and faded into the void.
Heh heh heh heh heh
There was no humor in their voices, just pure, sadistic cruelty. Soo's entire body quaked as prickles of sheer terror lanced over her body, locking her in place and forcing her to clutch her belly tightly.
She panted softly, air suddenly hard to come by. Even at peak condition, Soo had trouble keeping up with So's running pace, and she knew that in the dead of night, and pregnant, she would never make it far from the men that surrounded her.
"Try not to hurt her yet…" crooned a familiar voice. Soo looked up with ice sliding down her spine and fire igniting in her belly. "She needs to be alive if you want even the slightest bit of weakness from the Beast."
"You," she uttered, pure malice tingeing her voice as her hands curled into her dress.
Shin Myung stepped around one of the men, the sound of her shifting dress muffled over the soft dirt. "Did you really think I would let you leave before I did?"
"He's your son!" Soo shrieked, tears building up in her eyes. This woman and the mythology of the Beast were the reasons why she would never be able to raise her child in the forest. "You want them to murder your son!"
Soo expected a sharp rebuke or even a look of anguish, but it seemed all humanity had left the wizened woman. Crazed eyes flitted about the tree-filled area, darting between each one in search of something. Shin Myung merely shook her head. "No son would condemn his own mother. How would you feel if that whelp in your belly was born so hideous you could never show its face? If it dragged you into the forest and chained you to it for all eternity?! He was never a child! He was never my son! The gods damned me with him!"
Remaining silent, Soo glared at So's mother, refusing to believe the madness the horrible woman spewed. The men around her kept her locked in place against the tree, and Soo knew any false movement might result in her own injury, so she stayed put, glowering and hoping to all the gods that So would not search for her, and that she would be able to escape.
As the men drew forward, further pinning her to the tree her back pressed against, Soo realized what had occurred. So had heard her scream during his pursuit of these men, and he had left them in order to find and protect her. And then he had stayed to protect her.
Tears dripped down Soo's cheeks as each man gave her sordid glances, their piggish eyes gleaming and their blades pointed menacingly towards her. "The old woman says we can have you once the Beast is dead…"
Soo whimpered when the gentle and horrible touch of a knife lightly grazed over the hand she covered her belly with. "When he comes, you're going to watch us tear him apart."
"Or he'll tear you apart," Soo challenged, anger rushing from her mouth in a wave of regrettable words. "I've seen him fight! He cut a man in half to protect me. What makes you think he won't do the same to you?!"
Her voice wavered and Soo hardly felt better, but knowing So would protect her kept her from losing her wits completely. He had taken on fiercer opponents before.
"Well, I look forward to proving you wrong."
"I'm bored, make her scream. That'll attract the Beast. He may be a monster but even monsters protect their young. He'll come for her."
Soo clamped her mouth shut as one of the men approached her, leering at her he crouched. Shaggy black hair tied back with a leather tie draped over his armored shoulders and his rank breath blew over her face, forcing Soo to fight the urge to vomit. Her hands curled into her belly as his knife touched her knuckles.
"I'm not calling for help. You can all burn in he-ah!" Soo muffled her shriek when the man grasped her wrist and tore it away from her belly, holding it until her bones felt like they would shatter under his gloved hand. Soo whimpered at the crushing pain, keeping her mouth shut even as her eyes bled tears.
"No sounds yet? Well."
She could not stop the scream that burst from her lips when fire lanced over her wrist, a sudden dribble of blood washing over the slice the man left on her forearm. The sharp pain left her crying out before she remembered to keep her mouth shut, but the damage was done. Soo knew she had failed in preventing So from arriving, and she clamped a hand over her bloody wrist to stop the flow that slowly trickled into her sleeve. It was not a deep cut, judging by how little she bled, which meant killing her had not been the motive.
"He'll come," Shin Myung said with glee. "I will finally watch the Beast vanquished in his very home. What a splendid night this is. You, move away, I want to be the one holding his whelp hostage."
Soo hardly heard what came next, but she groaned at the throbbing pain that emanated from her skin. The man standing over her slid to the right, making room for the woman that crouched beside her and pressed a hand to her belly.
Soo stopped breathing, fury engulfing her veins at the sight of the wrinkled hand that gently stroked the place where Wang So's child resided. Her hands quaked, having forgotten the wound on her wrist. Instead, all of her focus went to the vile woman before her.
"Take your hand off of me." Soo's voice grew still and calm, a resolve appearing where there had once been none. "Don't touch me."
She met eyes with Shin Myung, who slipped her hand away before swiftly pressing a knife blade to Soo's throat. Soo gasped at the sudden cold that appeared against her skin, her head leaning backwards to meet the tree she leaned against. The knife remained unmoved, but the threat was clear.
Soo begged So to come. He could protect their child even if she could not. She regretted her actions. Leaving So had been a mistake and now there was no way for her to protect herself or her baby. She had left safety and had made herself vulnerable.
They waited in the dark, the sound of muffled breathing and hissing laughter the only noises around them. Even the animals had gone silent.
"Where is it? Where is the Beast?"
"Make her scream again and he'll come."
Eyes wide, Soo pulled her knees to her chest and clutched her hands close, trying her best to be as small and hide any places that were easily accessible for injury.
"Curling up and being a baby won't save you, pretty girl," said one of the men. Soo ignored him and pressed her face into her knees, unwilling to listen. Their lewd words and greedy eyes did not exist when she closed her eyes and ears to them.
"I think I'll make her my wife after we kill the beast. She's young, pretty, and I can train the her whelp to guard my house when it's born-"
A loud shout rang out from the men as something toppled to the ground. Soo flinched as the still night filled with violence, and when she glanced upward, she glimpsed the black shadow of a man.
"Hae Soo, keep your eyes closed." So shouted at her, but Soo could not comply.
He was too fast for her to comprehend, and in the darkness of the forest at night, there was little her tired eyes could truly make out. But, Soo could feel So. She could hear his voice as he fought, and she finally saw why they had given him the epithet of Beast.
It was fitting… and it was heartwarming.
The very ground shook with So's footsteps, the clang of his sword against others followed by sparks of light flashing from the force behind his strikes. Wang So was the greatest fighter to inhabit the forest, and Soo saw with her very eyes the promise he had made to her.
I can protect you both.
Her fears melted away, and though So told her to avert her eyes, Soo did not. Instead, she kept her eyes on the father of her child. Soft rays of dawn peeked through the dense foliage above, bathing moments of horror in warm light. So's eyes shone gold in the sun.
And then, the forest grew still once more. The only sounds that accompanied the quiet was the sound of Wang So's harried breathing, and his foot kicking one of the corpses that littered the ground.
Soo held her skirt to her nose to keep from inhaling the metallic stench that emanated from the shredded men that had kept her captive. She kept her gaze away from the ground and instead focused on her lover. So's clothes were spattered with gore, his hair loose around his shoulders, and his mouth open in rasping pants.
"Where are you, Mother?!" demanded So. He swiped his sword once, flicking blood off the soiled blade. "Come out and see me! I have a proposition!"
With her her back to the tree, Soo waited and watched. She was safe with So by her side, and Soo already felt relief making her legs weak. Seeing So again made her heart stammer an urgent message of regret. Soo wished for nothing more than to stay by his side forever.
Too lost in thought, Soo did not anticipate the hand that snaked around her throat and pulled her upward. Too caught in her own relief, Soo could not even scream as she was forced up and held close. Soo lost hold of her skirt, opening her to the full effects of the battle scene before her.
Her whimper brought So's attention to her just as Shin Myung placed the blade of her knife to Soo's throat. "Let me go or I'll kill her." Shin Myung's voice was ice and steel, and Soo quailed. Death was out of the question; she could not leave So without hope.
The smell of raw meat made her head spin and the sight of the dead men and their disemboweled corpses made her fight to stay upright. Averting her gaze from the bodies and moving back to So, Soo exhaled in worry at the murderous expression on his face. There was nothing in his eyes but pure malice, and he refused to look at her. Instead, his gaze remained fixated on his mother.
Soo's throat prickled as the knife in Shin Myung's hand ever-so-slightly grazed her skin. A fresh wave of fear emanated from where the knife made itself known, and Soo shivered.
"Fine," So ground out without a moment's hesitation, "I'll let you leave. Get out of my sight, you horrid bitch."
Shin Myung made an offended noise in the back of her throat and Soo gulped, worried that So's mother would retaliate against So for his description of her. "I'm glad you came to your senses. I guess since I have your permission, I'll go… but I don't trust you not to hunt me down like you did those idiots." She motioned to the corpses with her knife, but Soo did not follow with her eyes. Instead, she remained still, holding her gaze on So and no one else. So did not let his sight move away from his mother. "So I think I'll give you something to do while I flee. I think it's only right for a grandmother to deliver her grandchild, isn't it?"
Soo's eyes widened and So moved forward as the knife shifted. Her body jolted in sheer terror as the knife descended to where Soo held her belly.
"What are you doing?!" roared So, his sword already pulled back in preparation for a lethal thrust.
"Stop!" Soo shrieked at him, already calculating that even with his accuracy, if she moved, he would kill her as well. So flinched for a moment, and that was enough.
Suddenly, everything moved slowly, and Soo's mind went blank, her eyes dropping to register nothing but the sound of her pulse as it melded with her baby's… and the weapon that sought to end the gentle pattering that harmonized with her heartbeat. Reaching forward, she grasped the blade that made to cut her belly open. Solid metal cleaved through rough flesh as the knife tore into her fingers and ground against her bones. Rivulets of dark red scorched across her dress and Soo felt each grinding motion that fought to free the knife from her bones. But she held fast, unable to register the pain, and only focused on protecting Wang So's baby.
Using her grip on the knife to pull Shin Myung in, Soo twisted herself and extricated herself from the woman's grasp.
Numb even as the blade left her hands soaked in blood, she looked Shin Myung dead in the eye, registering the shock and sudden fear that emanated from the woman before her. Soo wondered why the monster had anything to fear.
"Don't touch my baby," she heard herself utter as her arms shot forward. Stumbling with the momentum from her action, Soo collapsed onto Shin Myung as the knife split the woman's throat. Shin Myung screeched at first, her hands clawing at the knife in her throat and her hatred-filled eyes gleaming with fury at Soo.
"You!" So's mother uttered, her agonized howl ceasing long enough for her to accuse Soo. Before Soo could act, she flew in the air, a pair of strong arms pulling her by the waist and letting her collide into a strong chest. Too dizzy to fight back, Soo let her head loll, her eyes shifting at unheard of speeds from the woman she had just stabbed to her hands that rained blood.
Soo stared numbly, suddenly safe and comfortable in So's embrace. But then, he moved and she longed for his touch once more. He silently wrapped cloth around her palms, using a stick to twist and twist and twist the cloth until her hands stopped bleeding and her fingers turned purple.
The bloody rain that dotted the grass in red stopped, and Soo stood still as So wrapped her fingers in torn pieces of his clothing, his hands gentle. Soo pined to see her lover's face and to look into his lovely eyes, yet he never looked at her. He never spoke. Instead, all Soo receives was the heavy breathing that left his shoulders rising and falling over and over again.
Her hands were wrapped in gray silk, but So did not release the tourniquets.
"Mother, you are immobilized. Stay still and do not remove the knife or you will die. I will return to tend to you." So's voice was metal grating on stone. The harshness in his tone was nothing Soo had ever heard, and her own heart trembled in fear as she wondered if he was speaking to her. Her mouth was too parched for her to ask, and her head spun in a million circles much too quickly for her to comprehend whatever he said next.
All she could feel was the weightlessness that followed as So lifted her into his arms as easily as she had once carried a stuffed doll around. Soo looked up at the tree-covered ceiling, leaning her head against So and slowly blinking back tears as the canopy opened up every few steps to let her glimpse a star or two.
Soo regained consciousness in excruciating pain. Her arms felt locked by her side, her hands almost numb with the pain that emanated from them. Her legs throbbed, her stomach lurched with every movement, and each breath she inhaled made her head pound.
Her first thought was to reach for her belly and protect the baby she carried - if she was even pregnant anymore. Terror clutched at her heart as she wondered if her baby was alive, if So's baby was still inside her.
Writhing as her hands and body quaked with never ending waves of torture, Soo fought to open her eyes and gain her bearings. She needed to know.
"Lay still." A harsh voice commanded her, but a gentle hand pressed against her forehead, peeling away the compress that covered her eyes. Soo followed So's orders, laying back even though her body protested. "I'll give you medicine… just… lay still."
She fell against soft pillows, and felt as So pulled their rabbit blanket higher over her shoulders. The soft fur tickled beneath her chin and Soo finally let her eyes open. Immediately, she was greeted with a blurry haze of mixed shades and bright light. Blinking slowly, she waited for her vision to clear.
When she could finally see, Soo absorbed her surroundings with ease. Familiar clay walls surrounded her and the wooden beams of her home that she and So had once spent a day repainting in red and black to ward away spirits greeted her warmly.
Unfortunately, her lover did not.
So's expression was hard as he crouched by her side. His eyebrows knitted together and his mouth pressed into a thin line as he measured out an amount of water into a fine powder that must have come from their medicine stores. In silence, Soo wallowed in pain as So mixed her medicine. He never acknowledged her, and Soo knew that if she opened her mouth to speak, she might scream.
His hands were gentle and kind when he held her head up and touched the bowl of murky anesthetic to her lips. Soo drank the bitter substance without complaint, closing her eyes as the medicine slid down her throat and threatened to upset her already aching stomach even further.
When she finished drinking, So laid her head back onto the pillows, his glare never retreating as he set the bowl aside. He sat by her side, stoic and still. Crossing his legs, So pressed his palms to his knees in a position taken by nobles and lords. His narrow eyes never left her, and Soo refused to look away from him.
"Ba… by," she whispered, unwilling to wait for the medicine to begin working its magic. "Our baby…"
So averted his gaze and Soo's heart sank. Her eyes prickled with tears as So reached a shaking hand forward and touched her belly over the blanket. His wide, callused palm lovingly caressed her stomach and Soo begged with her eyes.
"You're still pregnant." His reply was curt, but Soo could hear the relief and adoration that bled through his anger. Audibly gasping in relief, she attempted to move her hands to hold her belly or to hold So's hand, but her wrists were weighed down, and So shook his head. "I told you not to move. I had to cauterize your fingers."
Fingers. Soo suddenly recalled why So had to burn her hands, and her eyes widened as she shifted in bed as best as she could to go against So's orders and hold his hand. Her hand was so thickly wrapped in bandages and medicine that when she did free it from her blanket, Soo could only bump against him.
So jerked his hand away, pushing his chin toward the door and turning his shoulder to her. Soo started in surprise, her heart beginning to ache as her injuries faded to the back of her mind. Once again, Soo found herself lying in wait, looking up at So as she convalesced. But this time, he was angry. A palpable tension emanated from his very body and Soo fought to allow him his own time.
She understood that this was all her fault. She had put their baby at risk when she left, and that was bound to anger So.
His shoulders shook as her turned back to her, his glare fierce and his rage mounting. He never shouted at her, never touched her unkindly. This time was no different. So asked in a barely controlled voice if she wanted water and Soo declined.
"Then rest. I'll be outside."
"Stay," Soo pleaded. She could not reach out to hold her lover, but she begged with everything she could. Finally finding her voice, she attempted to call out to him, but So turned a deaf ear to her. "Please don't leave me alone."
Standing, So trudged away from her, his footsteps pounding like thunder. "You seemed to have no trouble leaving me alone the other day." His voice was soft, cracking as he uttered words that stabbed like needles.
Laying back in defeat, Soo let his words leave wounds in her heart. The door shut behind So as he left, and Soo stared up at the ceiling, blinking back tears as they burned their way down her face and lost their way in her unbound hair. She wept as the sheer loneliness swept in, wrapping itself around her throat and choking her.
As the pain in her body faded, the ache in her heart doubled. Soo called So's name but he did not respond. Instead, she watched his shadow fade from the door. She required nothing but him by her side.
Exhaustion seeped into her body and Soo closed her eyes, whispering So's name as she fell to her weakness and allowed sleep to overcome her.
Soo dreamt of screams and the glint of a knife in the moonlight. So many sounds and so many lights blinded and deafened her to the point that she craved darkness and silence in order to think. She walked toward the tiniest, sweetest baby. The infant was swaddled in the soft blanket she had worked so hard on and its eyes were closed in a deep, safe slumber. And with her own hands, Soo stabbed the child in its sleep.
She woke with a start, jolting upward and panting heavily. Her chest rose and fell with labored breaths as sweat made her hair and clothes cling to her body. Her throat burned and her stomach lurched as she lunged forward and attempted to crawl away from the bed. She wheezed and gagged, sounding like a struck animal as she hurried. Soft blankets hardly masked the excruciating pain that emanated from her unbandaged hands, but Soo made it to the floor before she heard a scrape and So slid a pot beneath her chin.
In the dark, he held her hair as she vomited and sobbed. She did not remember rinsing her mouth or chewing on the mint leaf So had procured out of thin air.
Once she was done, he set the pot outside and Soo collapsed against So as he shut the door to their home. Soo had not realized he was sleeping beside her, but his presence made her fears float away. She could not hold him the way she wanted to, but she could lean against him. His heart beat through where she pressed her head to his chest.
Soo whimpered and tried to muffle her anguish as So wiped the tears from her eyes, his free arm wrapping around her waist. "Our baby," she uttered. So's heart sped up and his hands tightened around her. "I dreamt… I dreamt I killed it. I had a knife… My own hands… our baby."
The blankets shifted as So's grip tightened. Soo finally felt safe as he pulled her into his lap and nuzzled his face into the crook of her shoulder. Soo curled into a ball against her lover as he cradled her in his arms. "I'm sorry," Soo whispered. "I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I… I left you alone. We should always be together… I'm sorry."
So did not move and Soo bit her bottom lip, suddenly worried about her words of apology when So gently laid her back onto their bed. Her head rested against a pillow and her body lay flat as So joined her beneath the covers.
Even in her tired state, a million questions arose in Soo's mind and she cursed her inability to touch anything without feeling the pain of her actions in her hands. So laid with his back to her, and Soo inched as close to him as she could, wishing he would speak to her.
Swallowing back her pain, Soo placed her hand against So's spine, feeling his bare back and whimpering as she pressed her forehead to his shoulder blade. She remained awake with So, neither willing to fall asleep first. Keeping herself as close to her lover as possible, Soo found comfort in the warmth of his body and the even breaths that made his shoulders shift in a rhythmic pattern.
Eventually, Soo slept first. Her eyes closed to exhaustion and her hand fell away from So's back as she succumbed.
When Soo woke, she did so in So's arms. Their blanket was wrapped securely around her body, and instead of a pillow, she laid her head against So's arm, cradled in his embrace and safely nestled against his chest.
She remained still and silent, closing her eyes and nuzzling just a bit closer to the man she loved. In sleep, So no longer glared at her or look at her in pain. Instead, he rested peacefully, his expression neutral, and his embrace on her sweet.
Soo knew immediately when So woke.
His arms stiffened and the chin he pressed into the crown of her head pulled away as he regarded their proximity with narrowed eyes and a cross look on his face. He tried to move away but Soo rushed closer, unable to hold him with her hands.
"Please," she desperately whispered. "Please stay. Please. "
So froze in place and Soo relished the seconds when he merely laid beside her, his bare chest providing shelter for her to creep beside and lean against. So's hand cradled the back of her head and Soo inhaled a shuddering breath when his lips touched her forehead. The gesture was sweet and Soo immediately took comfort in the gentle caress that sedated the worries in her heart.
Soo closed her eyes when So kissed her. Their lips met and though Soo felt like her body had been beaten, she still reciprocated through the intense exhaustion. Happiness overcame her as So finally returned to her.
"So, I'm… I don't…" Soo flinched when he yanked the ribbon on her shirt open, his mouth dragging wet kisses down her chin and throat. Loose silk fell away and Soo winced in pain as So grasped her hip the way he did when he wanted to lay above her when they made love. "That hurts…"
Her bare chest met the cold air and Soo shivered as So groped her sensitive body, his tongue dragging lazy swirls over her skin. Suddenly, happiness and love became worry and panic, and Soo forced her hands to touch So's stubbled face as he took her all too sensitive nipple in his mouth.
"Stop!" Soo cried out. She jerked her hands away from the needles that stabbed into her wounds.
He pulled back instantly, his eyes injured and his hands falling away from her skin. Soo panted and stared at her lover with the same, betrayed expression he wore. "Why did you do that?" she demanded, her voice a harried whisper.
So did not move from his position above her. He stared down at her from atop with an agonized expression that Soo could not place. "I don't… know." Finally, she heard his voice again, but Soo was too hurt to feel anything but sadness. "I'm sorry. My heart… hurts. I'm sorry. I don't understand why when I look at you I feel so angry. I love you, but why does my chest hurt when I look at you?"
He shifted backwards to sit up and Soo gulped, her eyes welling with tears. She hated how much she cried while pregnant, but So's words stabbed into her heart and straight through. His hand lightly flattened against her belly, his touch so much gentler than before. So touched her womb as Soo tried to understand why he was acting so strangely.
"I love you so much… and you're the- the mother of my child…"
"So, what happened while I was unconscious?" Sitting up, Soo closed the front of her shirt around So's hand, letting him continue to caress the tiny bump in her belly. So's breathing hitched and his expression darkened. On her knees, Soo tried to lean forward, attempting to understand why So was acting so strangely.
"I shouldn't have forced you… you're injured and you told me to stop. I'm sorry." His words were clipped, his actions stiff. He tried to shift away from her, but Soo shook her head, using her wrists to hold the hand he tried to pull away from her stomach.
"So, wait."
"I'll let you rest. I'm sorry."
"Please tell me why you're angry with me." The question felt stupid. Soo knew why he was angry with her - and he had every right to be cross. She had left in the dead of night, jeopardized the future of their relationship, put herself at risk. But worst of all, she had taken So's child away from him. She had taken the only blood-relative that would never look at him like he was a monster.
"It's not you." So's voice was curt, and suddenly, he looked so much older - so much more tired. His shoulders carried a new weight. Blinking in confusion, Soo remained silent to will more words out of her lover. "I returned to my mother after tending to your wounds. I went to her and… and I wanted to help her. She's my mother… but I thought of our baby. I thought of you. If she stayed, she'd… she'd jeopardize both your safety."
Soo's heart sank as she realized what So meant. Her hands clenched into the blankets and she exhaled softly as So's eyes welled with tears. A clear film overtook his usually bright, brown eyes, and Soo opened her arms to her lover. So leaned into her embrace and he wept softly, burying his face into her shoulder. His hands lightly draped over her hips and Soo held the love of her life as close as she could, using her forearms to pull at So's bare back.
"She hated me. I hated her. We kept each other captive and… and I shouldn't cry!" His voice broke and So fisted her shirt as he wet it with his tears. His body shuddered as it racked with pent sobs.
"You can cry," Soo replied. Her voice was soft and she nudged her cheek against So's head, stroking his back and kissing his ear. "You can cry. She was your mother. You knew her your entire life. You can blame me. I was the one that first… first stabbed her."
The words stung in her mouth as she spoke, but Soo tried anything she could to placate her despondent lover. So shook his head. His broken sobs subsided as he breathed deeply and rested his head against Soo's shoulder.
"She was alive when I reached her. I could have saved her, but… but I thought about why you'd left. Why you wanted to leave."
Soo blinked with uncertainty as So leaned back and addressed her with red-rimmed eyes. His hands gripped her shoulders as he bowed his head. His long hair fell to cover his face, and Soo wished she could touch him, brush his hair aside. But the white and pink scar tissue that had yet to even completely cover her fingers said otherwise.
"I'm sorry for leaving." Soo's voice was little and thin. "We… we belong together. We can stay here. She's gone now, so we can be safe here, right?"
So wiped his eyes on the back of his hand, the scar on his eye shifting and pulling as he did. "Even if my mother is dead, we won't be absolutely safe here. They'll still send men in to flush me out, and I can't lose you or my child."
When he lifted his gaze again, Soo saw resolution in his eyes, and her heart clenched. Tears welled in Soo's eyes and she sniffled as So blinked back his remaining tears. She regretted leaving even more. To think that she had once thought that leaving would have solved their problems made her want to go back and shout at herself.
"Let's leave," continued So. "Let's go. We'll go to town, buy a house. We can- can start over. Just us. Our family. We're free now."
"But you'll be shunned. You'll be uncomfortable." Soo inched closer to So until their knees touched and she could gently lay her hands on his thighs. "I don't want you to endure misery just because of me and the baby."
They peered at each other in silence, trying to come up with the right words to say in a situation that felt so wrong.
So's arms reached around her body and Soo leaned in as he pulled her into his chest. She shifted easily, turning and sitting in his lap as he adjusted their positions until she sat across him.
He laid a hand on her belly as she laid her head against his shoulder.
"You won't deliver for a long time. We can go at it slowly. I know that some places see me as less of an aberration, so we can both go and find a house. We can have our baby and start again."
The offer was enticing. It was everything she wanted. To make her own home, to start her own family, to do it all with the person she chose. But Soo ached when So called himself an aberration. She wished for a world where he would not be judged by the way his face looked, but that was wishful thinking on her part.
"We can stay, So. We can…"
"You don't have to lie." He gave her a sad smile and Soo bit her bottom lip as So patted her head. "And I know that I have to leave now. Eleven years in this forest has been enough for me. I've endured too much in this forest. It's time to start anew. Be free."
Moving her hands to hold So's on her belly, Soo nodded her head, relief overcoming her emotions.
Free. Free to be with So. Free to raise their baby. Free to leave.
The worries and agonies she had lost so much sleep over and left her only family over suddenly disappeared. Now, they were the only ones in the forest. There was no monster to watch them, no horrid presence that would have torn them apart.
So's warm hand rubbed her stomach as Soo used what little strength she had in her hand to tilt his chin down. Her wrist met his stubbled face and she slowly blinked up at the man that had captured her heart in less than a year and given her unimaginable happiness and sorrow at once.
Finally, they had nothing to worry about. After a year of making the forest their home, they would leave and begin another, scary adventure into the unknown. Soo thought of how terrified she had been entering the forest, fearing for her life and begging to be let out. Her family had shunned her and her life had been in shambles, leaving her with little recourse. She almost fondly thought back to that day, never wanting to wonder what would have happened if she had just run away.
Now, she would leave the place she called home to search for a new one; this time with her own family. She had met the man she loved and with each passing day, their baby grew more and more.
With so much to look forward to, Soo could not hide the smile that overcame her sadness and sorrow. She held her lover's cheek and kissed him as the sun drifted in through the cracks in the tiny home that would no longer fit them anymore.
They left the forest five months later. Loading all of their belongings onto a cart pulled by their new horse, they took everything to a town that welcomed So as the traveler that had arrived to settle down. Though their possessions were meager, the funds So had stored bought them a nice cottage on the outskirts of town as well as the horse they used to carry all of their belongings as well as travel to collect all their necessities.
A garden wrapped around the new house, where So planted berry bushes and herbs from the forest in their garden. They kept part of the harvest for themselves while selling the rest for a tidy profit. Their home was happy, and Soo thanked the gods every day for the bliss she had found.
And it was in that happy home, in the middle of winter, that Soo birthed her and So's first child. The process was long and arduous, but after two days of pain, their firstborn arrived, her loud voice screaming to the heavens.
A year later, they named her after the clear blue sky she was born beneath., and Wang So and Hae Soo added Wang Seol as the third name on their new family tree.
And they lived happily ever after.
Thank you so much for reading and following me through this massive journey of a fic. I love you guys so much!