Hey, i decided to continue as i realky do love this story and can realky feel myself getring to know these characters. I just wasn't feeling the love for this story. Thank you so much for your reviews and support. I will most likely coninue based in demand. Hope you enjoy. Reviews pleade! Mwah!

The sunlight pried his eyes open, forcing him back to the cold reality of the world. He didn't bother moving just rubbing his eyes gently with a sigh. His bare chest rising and falling as he stared up at the blankness of the ceiling letting it consume him.

He didn't dare move, not ready to face the world,

His father, his mother not after he'd just left her there. He'd have to explain tell her all that had happened that her husband well ex-husband abused their son. That he would beat him until his breath was almost non-existent then he'd cry with guilt and force a needle into his broken son's body, claiming to take the pain away.

He hated it, he hated that his father had forced an addiction upon him that. That he'd forced his business into his life as well.

He was always a smart kid, top of his class growing up even after the move. He didn't like

to call it a separation, it wasn't mutual. Not two sides pulling apart from each other it was more like his mother pushing asking them to leave.

He knew deep down it wasn't that simple, not on his mother's side but he couldn't get her words out of his mind even in his drug hazed state, the words that made him feel as though he deserved it. They haunted him with his every breath.

"Take your son with you Stephen, take your fucking son and get the hell away from me, I will never love you again and I sure as hell will never love him, not with your blood in his veins."

The words burned through him choking up his system.

His mother, his own fucking mother didn't love him.

She never loved his father either, not that Jace could remember, but damn did his father love her.

He had a strange relationship with his father, some days they'd laugh especially when he was younger. It wasn't until things started going down hill in the business that his father turned, he started like a stereotypical single dad, laughing a joking, probably teaching things a mother would not approve of.

But he got angry and angrier, the stress of the business led to the alcohol and that led to the drugs, and even more of the crime. He needed a away to vent.

His body suddenly felt stiff and sore as though he'd just woken from a drug hazed beating, he could smell the blood now. Believing it was his memory overreacting after last night's phone call but lifting his hand to his nose he could feel the blood dripping down, it was warm but it was a relief after it all.

It was like he was taking control like it was his choice, his choice to bleed not forced by his father's hand or the knife or gun of an unsatisfied client.

Feeling the blood flow quicken he meant his head down, squashing the bottom of his nose between his fingers. He'd dealt with these a thousand times before but they always seemed to worry other people, even those that didn't care.

He made his way to the bathroom in a casual strut. He walked almost straight into his mother, her eyes filled with concern at his current predicament.

"Jace oh gosh are you okay, do these happen often, do you need to go to a doctor?"

He brushed past her with a scoff,

Mumbling an,"I'm fine, it's nothing that hasn't happened before."

Her eyes watered looking at him following him into the bathroom.

He leaned over the sink basin putting a tissue to his nose to clean away the blood. He shook his head, reaching for the mouthwash to rise a way the metallic taste.

"Jace honey what happened last night can we please talk, please honey please."

He was ready to snap at his mother's words anger raising in his veins.

He turned his head to the side his golden eyes capturing her pale green ones. He couldn't t help but compare them to clary's unsure why, her eyes were like a meadow they were pale unlike Clary's vibrant emerald eyes her were like looking through a portal into a fantasy land, like you could get lost in them forever slowly losing your mind but completely content anyway.

His mood softened at the thought of the girl next door,.

He nodded his head slowly.

His mother's eyes widened clearly expecting him to refuse her, a small tear escaped her eyes.

"I'll make some tea."

"I prefer coffee." His face filled with his usual smirk and strangely a small chuckle escaped his lips.

Maybe this would be better if he gave her a chance, he could ignore it not forget but ignore, make her happy allowing him to at least take a little pleasure in his life. Even if he were just civil it would be better ham the constant hostility hanging over him.

He slipped back into his room he decided if he was going to talk to his mother, really talk then he should probably get dressed.

A few minutes later he trudged down the stairs some of the money from Jocelyn he'd been unable to give her after last nights distraction.

He slowly peered his head around the door of the kitchen seeing his mother seated at the table a cup of tea in her hand and a mug of coffee sat opposite her.

He pulled his chair out the screech it gave against the tiled floor building the tension in the room.

He sat down slowly pulling the chair in beneath him looking up to face his mother. The tension becoming too much, he reached across to grab his coffee taking a large swig not caring as it burned down his throat, glad for the distraction.

"Jace, before I explain please tell me, tell me what happens with your father why are you here not with him?"

He felt his body tense and his heart stopped. It was all real he he was in front of his mother, his mother it had all happened before he would stop himself a tear slid down his cheek. Just one he didn't cry, not ever. Not when his father hit him for the first time. Not when she left. Never.

He cried one tear, he knew how to avoid pain he'd learnt the best way, through experience. He avoided emotions at all costs settling behind a mask of amusement and indifference and he was known for it, that was why his father's boss had taken to him so much, called him son. He could be cruel, shut out the emotions just seeing clear as glass wrong and right.

Though sometimes that glass was coloured red by his anger.

"It was absolutely fan- fucking- tastic, hows that?"

"Come on Jace, please."

He squeezed his eyes shut swallowing, "just remember it was you who asked."

"It was great you know at first we went on a sort of road trip, he was like one of those fun movie dads, telling jokes, buying ice cream slipping the odd swear."

His mother's eye lightened a little letting out a small chuckle, he gave her a pointed look before continuing.

" and then he had to start work again obviously at the time I didn't know," his mother frowned at this,

"I had no idea I was living in a blissful ignorance, school as great top of the class. I started in the junior football about a month after we arrived, I was still playing up until I left, played QB/ Captain. I mean there was no problem in school or with the ladies." He let out a little smirk one igniting in his mother's face as she rolled her eyes but also savoured the moment she was sharing with her son.

"But he.. he struggled a bit with work sometimes, he got angrier and angrier. He missed you so damn much, so damn much. He started drinking, it started with him staying out longer with he gus a few extra drinks here and there then he brought the liquor home and shit sorta hit the fan from there,"

"He used to tell me he loved me every morning when he was sober enough. It was better than here there was no fighting no screaming, i was happier."

"He made a little time for me, around his job. He taught me about the job, that was my first weekend job, compare that to other kids."

His mother's eyes widened in shock as she moved her hand to her mouth with a choked gasp.

"You know then what he does."

She nodded, "before you and him moved he was never physically involved, he… he did it all online he just did the number for them but he had to meet them them one day. I don't know their names or what it was about i just knew it was important. He was so stressed that day and so angry."

"He even snapped at you, you must have been about five or six he. He came in slamming the door threading his hands through his hair. He walked straight up the stairs you followed after him begging to know what was wrong. You pulled on his jacket and he shook you off, you fell to the floor and he just grabbed you. You looked terrified until he crushed you to his chest. He held you so damn tight and then i knew that no matter what happened he loved you and i'd always love him for that, even if my loved died for him i could never take that love from your life."

"Loved me oh my god you're having a fucking laugh," she raised her eyebrow at this.

"Maybe he used to but not any more. It wasn't the business i actually quite enjoyed that, at first he made sure i was safe. But his bosses seemed to take a liking to me, they give me bigger jobs at his point dad he was a wreck he was on drugs and he was so damn angry."

He looked his mother in the eye looking for confirmation to continue.

"He.. uh he didn't start hitting me until after i reached my double digits, he just used to hit me at first. It got bad when i started the job i was about fourteen when he beat me, he had this rubber mallet and boy would he use it. He would kick me punch, cut, hit me knock me until i was holding my last breath."

"For some sick reason he'd feel bad he'd get angry at himself and scream tear apart the apartment every night then he'd claim to want to take my pain away. He would inject me with a needle, drugs usually heroine."

Tears were pouring down her face she began sobbing for her "poor boy". He was frozen still stuck in the memory.

"The best thing that man ever did for me was pay his taxes, he always made sure i was covered with insurance. That must've cost him a bit with my job and all."

"Did he leave scars on you? jace"

He nodded silently standing , lifting his shirt to show his torso covered in scars, she gasped.

His golden skin was ridden with scars. Slivering silver lines winding their ways across his body.

"He shot you!" Her eyes were filled with rage.

"No, that wasn't him." He pushed his shirt down, looking up at his mother, his mother.

He stretched out his arms to her pulling her to his chest.

"How did you live like that, how are you doing it now?"

"Anghofais sut i deimlo.

wnes i anwybyddu, nid colli cyfeiriad."

Her eyes lit up at him, "you remembered, Dwi'n caru ti Jace, os ti'n caru fi neu beidio."

"Dwi yn."

Her arms hugged him tighter.

"No more tonight jace we'll talk another day."

"Okay."

He hadn't forgiven but damn he could forget. He could have his mother back. She wanted him, and that would let him forget at least for a while.

Translations:

Anghofais sut i deimlo.

wnes i anwybyddu, nid colli cyfeiriad -

I forgot how to feel.

I ignored, not losing direction

Dwi'n caru ti Jace, os ti'n caru fi neu beidio. -

I love you Jace, whether you love me or not.

Dwi yn. - i do.