Motherhood Jitters: A Star Wars fanfiction

Chapter two: trauma

Leia was carefully guided through the door of her apartment as Han guided her hoverchair with his arms, the twins swaddled up in a little hoversled perambulator the hospital had lent them for easy transport. She heard her humungous diaper crinkling slightly from her movement as C-3PO followed them in, with R2 wheeling up behind them. Try as she might, she couldn't hold down the shame of wearing diapers, her mind had been traumatized too much by the last time she had even touched one, years ago as Jabba's sex slave. Leia closed her eyes as her son fed himself from her breasts, feeling motherly and relaxed.

"You just sit here and rest, I'll make sure the kids are tucked in." Han said, looking tired as he carefully picked up Jaina and placed her into a crib, picking up Jacen as Leia kissed him gently. "They're both tired out and I think we're all a little worse for wear here."

The near-naked Princess tried to feel euphoric, sitting naked but for a hospital gown, a nursing bra and…the other garment…but that…other garment…sapped any joy from her mind. The icy diaper felt heavy on her postpartum body, the frigid ice inside reminding her of the cold golden groin plate she wore as Jabba's slave girl. At least this garment didn't display a uterus, ovaries, endometrium and fallopian tubes…Leia felt exhausted as her belly sagged a little from the stretched skin, jiggling like jelly.

"Sleep well, my darlings." Leia said, reaching into the crib and gently stroking her babies and kissing them as they drifted off to sleep, having been fed on her milk and some formula from the medical bay.

She felt a wave of shame washing over her as Han stood next to her, carefully helping her out of the hoverchair. She could feel the huge diaper she was wearing shifting around her crotch, feel the padded garment pressing against her strained female parts which were undoubtedly bleeding right now, feel the frigid ice pack pressed against her swollen vulva, knew she had to be checked and changed like the babies she had birthed hours earlier…

"Han…" Leia choked out as she sat down on the bed, feeling uncomfortable.

"Honey? What is it?" Han asked, holding his wife around the waist. "Are you hurt?"

"No, just…" Leia said, pausing for a moment. "…just a little uncomfortable."

"I know, I mean, having an ice pack pressed against your delicate parts can't be that comfortable." He joked, smirking to try and bring some levity as she stroked his wife's sore back muscles. "I've been there."

Leia smirked as she moaned and leaned into his hands.

"Oh, and have you pushed two babies out of your birthing canal?" she said, mostly joking with a bitter undertone.

"No, but I did land crotch-first on a traffic light first time I wiped out on a swoop bike." Han said as he gently rubbed his wife's bare shoulders. "I know what it feels like to have ice down there."

Leia giggled, appreciating her husband's attempt to lighten her mood. It wasn't helping much, but she appreciated it.

"But in all seriousness, I know you're feeling upset." Han said as he squeezed Leia's back, making her gasp at the massage he was giving her. "So come on honey, what's wrong?"

Leia sighed, shifting slightly as she realized her diaper was not only freezing cold, but also soggy and swollen. She sat on her own waste, blushing in shame.

"It's…time for me to be changed." She said, trying to change the subject since her diaper was full of solid waste.

Apparently, her incontinence meant she had soiled herself without realizing it. The strain must have been her body expelling her solid waste into the giant diaper she wore.

"Okay dear, hold on." Han said as he carefully spread his wife's legs, carefully laying her on her back.

He then unfastened the filthy, frozen diaper and quickly wrapped it up in a wad, throwing it into a disposal chute and cleaning his wife with a chemical rub. It was then that he noticed how bad she looked. She was still bleeding slightly, and her vulva was red and swollen from the strain of birthing. There was also a measure of lochia present, a bright red discharge inside of the diaper, and Han could tell she was uncomfortable due to the stretching of her vagina since the skin was all wrinkled and red. Leia's vaginal lips were strained with blood vessels visible, and they looked almost pale blue from overexertion during birthing twins. No wonder she needed a frozen diaper. Leia shuddered at the feeling of another ice-filled diaper being strapped over her crotch as Han tightened it to avoid leaks.

"There you go, honey." Han said as he kissed her gently on the lips and shut the lid on the diaper freezer. "Do you need anything else?"

"Right now, just a little rest." Leia said as she curled next to him, holding her husband as he removed his clothing to prepare to sleep.

She was feeling the same shame she had felt when she was stripped of her diaper in public and her skimpy golden bikini placed back onto her body, the crowd jeering and laughing as the infantile Princess dressed herself in clothing fit only for a whore. Leia shuddered as she hugged Han tightly, her diaper crinkling as she did so.

"Okay, this time I know you're scared." Han said as he spooned into his postpartum wife from behind, feeling her shuddering. "What's wrong? You can tell me."

Leia turned around, her diaper crinkling loudly as she looked at Han with teary eyes. She threw her arms around him and started sobbing, burying her face in her husband's chest.

"I-It's this d-diaper!" she sobbed into Han's bare chest. "It f-feels just like t-the one Jabba f-forced me to wear when-when…"

Han squeezed his wife closer as she muffled her sobs against his chest, her icy diaper crinkling again. Jacen and Jaina were also stirring in their crib, awakened by their mother's crying.

"When I w-was his s-slave girl." Leia choked out as she leaned into her naked husband.

She wrapped her arms around Han as he pulled her closer to him, her bare breasts pressing against his chest as he tousled her messy hair and kissed her.

"Honey, I'm so sorry." Han said as he held Leia around the waist, his near-naked wife sobbing. "I didn't even realize…"

Leia had told him about what she had gone through in Jabba's palace while she was a sex slave to the bloated Hutt. Among the many torments she had gone through, one of them included diapers very much like this one, with the only exception being that this time, Leia would actually be given some measure of privacy while being checked and changed.

"It-It's not your f-fault." Leia said as she wiped her eyes. "I just feel so…disgusted. And to think, I'm overreacting over wearing a diaper after all I've been through…"

"You are not overreacting." Han said as he stroked Leia's hair. "After what you told me you went through in Jabba's Palace, I'm surprised you didn't refuse to wear the diaper right when the doctor told us you had to."

Leia sighed, feeling her icy diaper again as it crinkled and shifted again, the sound triggering memories of Jabba and his perverted courtiers jeering and laughing at her as she crawled like an infant.

"It's for the sake of my health, and the wellbeing of our babies." She said, leaning back in exhaustion. "I wouldn't have refused even if I could. Even if it means wearing what feels like a pair of frozen meals inside a garbage bag around my body."

Han hugged Leia close as she sobbed slightly, Jacen and Jaina crying in their crib.

"Sssh, don't cry." Leia said, wiping the tears from her eyes and standing up, naked but for her humungous, frozen diaper. "Mommy's here, mommy's got you."

She waddled (because with the gigantic diaper over her crotch, that's all she could really do) over to the twins and opened the crib, picking up Jacen and Jaina and feeding them her milk one at a time. Leia then sat down at a little changing table and unwrapped Jacen's diaper, cleaning him and then replacing it with a fresh one.

"There you go, all clean and fresh, my lovelies." Leia said, her hormones shifting into overdrive as she felt overly emotional towards the children they had created. "Sleep well."

She tucked in the two babies and gently rocked the crib, making the twins relax and drift off to sleep as she hummed an old Alderaan song to them. Leia remembered her father singing and rocking her to sleep when she was a baby, and loved the idea of passing the care on to her children. She leaned over and gently kissed both of them as they drifted off to sleep, her eyelids heavy with sleep.

"Okay honey, time for you to sleep too." Han said as he took Leia's hand and guided his wife towards the bed. "You can't take care of them if you're too sleepy."

Leia stood up and waddled over to their bed, the huge, padded diaper full of ice feeling heavy and absolutely frigid on her most sensitive regions. She lay down on the bed and tried hard to relax as her postpartum body adjusted to the bed. She was lying there almost naked, exhausted, and feeling intense shame at her current predicament due to the remembrance of Jabba's humiliation of her. She couldn't help but remember Boba Fett forcing her to kneel and suck the barrel of his rifle like a phallus, changing her like an infant and leading her into the court in nothing but the diaper on her leash…

"Leia, you're shaking." Han said as he kissed his wife's face over and over again. "Tell me what you're feeling."

"Disgust and shame, for one." Leia said as she stretched out on the bed, Han snuggling into her and kissing her exposed breasts. "These diapers…they just make me feel like…like I'm right back there. Like I'm being shown off for all to see, being reduced to that infantile position they…he…forced me into."

She looked over at the crib, her mind worrying about her babies as part of the motherly instincts that come with birth hormones.

"They'll be fine, don't worry." Han said as he hugged Leia close. "I'll be up if they start crying or need changing."

"And…and if I need changing?" Leia asked, feeling a wave of shame wash over her.

"Then I'll change you too." Han said as he kissed his wife's ears, making her squirm. "Don't worry, just rest. You need it. You're a new mother, you know."

Leia smiled as she snuggled closer, the bags under her eyes feeling heavy as she rested against her husband's bare chest.

"You know, I never knew I would be leaving the hospital in diapers, too." She said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. "I wasn't exactly…prepared for this."

Han patted his wife's gigantic, frozen diaper, the ice inside making her shiver.

"You'll be fine, and don't ever think you're not prepared." Han said as he kissed her gently. "I don't think anyone would be prepared for this."

He snuggled her closer as Leia sighed in relief, her breasts feeling a little drained of milk as she yawned.

"I think I just need to rest." She said as she leaned over Han, hugging him tightly like a teddy bear. "I'll keep the bra on in case I leak."

"Of course, dear." Han said as he gently massaged his wife's back. "Here, the doctors told me this would help your stress."

She groaned as he squeezed her shoulder blades and rubbed her spine, making all the stress leave her body as he moved downwards and continued on down her thighs. Han kneaded and rubbed Leia's legs and feet, kissing her bare feet as she giggled at the ticklish sensation. He then pressed his body against his half-naked, diapered wife, her postpartum body practically glowing in the dim moonlight.

"Han?" Leia said, looking up at her husband.

"Yes, your worship?" he said, using the comical pet name he knew she loved.

"Thank you, for everything. But above all, for being the father of our children." Leia said as she kissed him, her eyes closing as she drifted off to sleep.

Han pulled the covers over his worn-out wife, picking up a comlink and dialing a number. There was a mini-symphony of beeps as it dialed the recipient.

"Hello?" a female voice said on the other end of the line.

"Hello, this is Han Solo." He said, thinking back on their wedding when they had invited her. "I might need to ask a favor, since I know my wife is a friend of yours from a few years back."

"Oh, I heard you two had twins on the way!" the voice said with an excited squeal. "Congratulations!"

"Actually, they've just been born." Han said, stretching out a little. "She's all worn out from postpartum bleeding and I thought maybe you might like to see her. She's been feeling really upset and emotional because of…the diapers."

There was a gasp on the other line.

"Oh god…how is she?"

"A little distant." Han said. "She keeps remembering the time Boba Fett forced them on her and the time on Jabba's barge. I thought she could use your help."

"Okay, I'll be right there." the voice said. "Hopefully, I can be there by morning. Just hang tight, you two."

There was the sound of smacking lips against the receiver as the comlink was hung up, leaving Han to return to the bed with his diapered wife.

"Let's see if this helps, honey." He thought as he kissed Leia on the neck, making her groan and shudder in her sleep. "Let's see if this can get you back to your usual, fiery self."

Han snuggled up next to his wife as their babies slept in the crib next to them, a physical product of their love. He loved Leia even more than before, if he had ever thought that possible. His last few thoughts were of his wife, practically glowing in her humungous diapers, showing her strength to wear them during her postpartum bleeding despite the post-traumatic fears she still held inside of her...could she be any stronger?

"Sleep tight, Mrs. Solo." He whispered, making the topless Leia groan and turn over in her gigantic, padded diaper. "Tomorrow is going to bring a surprise."

Ooh, cliffhangers! (Not.) The identity of the woman on the other line will be revealed next chapter!