Seeing the pain in Callie's face Arizona knew the answer. Callie wouldn't be coming home with her. It hurt. It hurt Arizona to see that pained expression on her wife's face. And to know she's the reason for it.
Callie opened her mouth to say something. Anything really but nothing would come out. Callie's eyes pleaded with Arizona to understand.
Arizona began to withdraw herself from Callie's embrace with an understanding nod but kept her head hanging low.
"I umm.. I'm going to just..." Arizona said gesturing to the door. Just as Arizona was almost out of Callie's arms, Callie tightened her hold on Arizona's hands.
"You know I can't let you leave until you're okay...and have had a shower and are wearing dry clothes." Callie said standing up helping Arizona to her feet but never letting go of Arizona's hands.
"I'm okay." Arizona tried pulling her hands free but Callie just kept her grip firm.
"Arizona please..." Callie tried but was cut off.
"Callie! What do you even care?!" Arizona argued.
"I care okay!" Callie argued back letting Arizona's hands fall from her own. "I can't not care! I've tried and it just...It isn't working! You hurt me so much!..." Callie yelled unable to hold back her emotions, letting the tears fall from her eyes. "I... Will you please just take a damn shower and put on some dry clothes!"
Callie walked away from Arizona to get her some warm pants and a hooded sweat shirt. Walking to where the dresser was, her gaze fell on their sleeping daughter. Sofia was unfazed by the shouting and looked to be in a blissful sleep. Taking a deep breath before opening the dresser to grab what she needed, she thought to herself. I can't believe she thought that I don't care.
Walking back to the bathroom, she heard the water running through the cracked door. She was thankful this particular shower did have a seat inside. She would have felt so bad making Arizona shower only to sit on the floor while she did.
Callie waited outside the door, gathering her barings. What if Arizona was getting undressed and she just walked in? The thought of a naked Arizona made her frustrated because she couldn't help but want her. She felt so confused because although she wanted Arizona, she couldn't bare the thought of Arizona touching her. She was unable to allow herself to vulnerable to her wife in that way just yet.
Callie was broken out of her thoughts once she heard the water being splashed around. She quietly entered the bathroom and set the clothes on top of the toilet without chancing a look at the steaming glass door.
She busied herself with the tv. Turning it on and immediately muting it. She tried to concentrate on the competitive cooking show and tried to come up with her own recipe for those secret ingredients. It worked for a while, but was immediately brought back once she heard the shower turn off. She wondered if Arizona would be okay getting out on her own. She listen carefully for any distress calls or thudding noises but was happy when she heard none.
Feeling the toddler next to her start to stir, she tried to wrap her blanket around her just a little bit tighter so she felt a secure hold around her but it was too late. Brown eyes were beginning to flutter open no matter how much she tried to sooth her, Sofia was awake.
Looking up at her mama she couldn't help but smile. Wiggling her arms free from the blanket she reached for Callie's hair.
"You need to go back to mimis." Sofia just shook her head with a toothy smile. Sitting up Sofia launched her body at Callie with a giggle. Callie couldn't help but smile at the little girl's antics. Trying to distract her with cuddles. Callie looked up at the tv and changed the channel. She put on some late night cartoons for her daughter and sat her up on the pillows. Callie couldn't take her eyes off her beautiful mini me, she was mesmerized. And then... the bathroom door opened. Arizona emerged with a slight limp.
Happy to see her mommy, Sofia quickly stood up and wobbled to Arizona. Not quite as gentle as she did Callie, Sofia launched her body towards Arizona. Barely able to keep her balance, Arizona carried the little girl and set her on the bed. "Hi big girl, what are you doing awake?"
"Momee flay?" Sofia asked with her fingers in her mouth. "No no baby. It's not play time. Come on. Lay down."
Sofia climbed up to the pillows and snuggled in her blanket. Without thinking, Arizona followed close behind and also laided down next to her daughter. Callie couldn't look away from the pair.
Arizona found Callie's eyes, "I'm sorry. I should go."
"No Momee! No go!!!!" Sofia pleaded and started to ball her little eyes out. She was so comfortable with having her moms around. She'd miss Arizona so much while she and her mama were in Miami.
"Um... Can you actually watch her while I take a shower? I won't take long."
"Of course." Arizona said and immediately tried to sooth the crying child as she tried to hold back tears, while Callie picked her clothes from the dresser. Arizona was hit again with a flood of emotions as she remembered her time here, in the hotel room with her wife and daughter were temporary. All her stuff, and the majority of their's were still in apartment 502 across the street from the hospital. Her wife's life was separate from her own.
Scratching Sofia's head always seemed to sooth them both. She loved the feel of Sofia's hair flowing through her fingers. She remembered when her virgin baby hairs had just reached her shoulders and had the cutest curls. Now her still virgin baby hair is flowing down her back in lose beach waves. She wondered when she and Callie would decide to cut it. Or.. rather Callie because she didn't think her wife would let her decide anything. Then again, maybe she would.
Arizona continued to stroke Sofia's head as she thought about what happened earlier. She hated when she was unable to express her emotions in a calm and controlled manner. She felt a little embarrassed at her panic attack. Though she knew it was definitely bound to happen sooner or later, she just hoped she was alone when it happened. But then, she remembered. She remembered what Callie said. She cared. Callie cared about her. That thought made her want to smile, but then she remembered how Callie said it. As if she didn't want to care about her anymore. And that thought made her heart sink.
Arizona was determined to show Callie how sorry she was for the mistake she made. She thought back to when they first met. How she'd told Callie she wouldn't go out with her because she was a new born only to try her best to woo her and convince Callie she should go on a second date with her. She also recalled the countless cups of coffee she'd sent to her via intern with cute drawings or notes written on the cup. Arizona wondered why she stopped doing that. It didn't matter though, she decided she was going to do a better job at not only telling Callie she loved her but she was going to show her anyway she could.
Arizona's mind wondered to every thoughtful thing she'd ever done for Callie, how her smile would spread so big her eyes would make the cutest squint. As Arizona's mind continued to recall these memories, her eyes began to flutter shut. Before she knew it, she'd fallen into a deep sleep, dreaming of her wife and happier times.
Emerging from the bathroom with drooping eyelids, Callie noticed the light snoring coming from Arizona. It was an emotional day for both of them but it definitely took a toll on Arizona. Callie stood at the doorway wondering if helping Arizona out of her leg would be overstepping. What if Arizona woke up and didn't want to stay. Then she would be caught in a weird position.
Loud thunder bringing her out of her thoughts, there was no was she was letting Arizona go anywhere tonight. Callie decided Arizona would be more comfortable letting her residual limb rest for the night, Callie removed her prosthetic as gently as possible. Just as Callie was crawling into the other side of the bed, Sofia flung her arms out and smacked Arizona in the face. Callie was surprised Arizona didn't wake up. Not wanting to risk any worse harm to Arizona because Sofia only got worse as the night progressed, Callie moved Sofia to her crib next to the bed. Callie hesitated for a second before getting in bed next to her wife. Taking a deep breath just before lifting the comforter and climbing in. She could do this was the last thing she told herself before falling into a deep sleep.