Star Wars: Division
I'm really floored by the response this story has gotten - 11 followers? Wow, that's just fantastic. Thanks for the follows, the favorites, and the review. To all my readers: please enjoy.
Chapter Three
"Do I haunt you in your dreams, Jedi? Standing before you now, am I a waking nightmare?"
Yes, she thought angrily. No, whispered her heart tragically. He haunted her - everything about him. His turn from the Light side because of one mistake from his Master, his ruthless reputation as the creature Kylo Ren, his lack of remorse for his patricide. But their conversations, his tells, his fears - they also haunted her. How he truly wanted peace for the Galaxy and balance in the Force. How he stared at her with such incredibly deep eyes. How his hand felt to touch. How he had never held a grudge against her for marring his face. How he seemed so open in their moments together in the Force. And yes, in her dream last night, when she relived the moment of seeing him bare chested, and -
"No," she lied. She kept her eyes fixed upon the Jedi text in her hand in feigned interest. He couldn't know her real thoughts. And standing before him, with his eyes boring down on her, she never would've been able to feign anything if she met his gaze.
"You haunt me."
Rey's hand froze mid air as she turned a page. She wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly.
"I will find you," he continued, his voice like the incantation for some dark, lustrous ritual.
Still frozen in place, dumbfounded by this black, obsessive-colored honesty, she shot back barely above a whisper, "I can't let you do that."
"Rey - " he pressed his forehead against hers, hands gripping her upper arms firmly.
The book fell from her hold.
"Ben, I - " she paused. Why did something feel so very out of place within him? "What's the matter?"
She looked up. The link between them had closed. But she still felt the press of his body against hers, his fingers curled around her flesh.
Dazed, she bent forward to retrieve the ancient book and closed it, then turned to set it back on the pile. One moment she'd been pacing the cargo hold, re-reading a page on Jedi meditation that was escaping her understanding, and the next she'd nearly walked into him as the Force suddenly placed them together, across time and space. He'd seemed so volatile, so dangerous. She'd wondered what had happened to set him on edge. Had she asked? She couldn't even remember. It was as if his touch had completely burned away their conversation, and only that moment of their skin touching remained. What had he been about to do?
She sat on the edge of her cot and puzzled over what had passed between them as she slipped on her boots. There was a meeting being held in the common area, and it seemed like Leia was going to give them very important - very good - news.
As it usually occurred, she was the last to arrive, though no one said anything. They merely smiled as she came in and stood next to Finn.
Leia had a small smile on her face; a rarity. "Good news, everyone. I've managed to broker a deal with an old friend who sympathizes with our plight. He's going to supply us with a TL-1200 transport ship, ten X-Wings, and a handful of recruits that want to join our rebel band, some with experience."
The faces of everyone around the cramped room lit up with first disbelief, then hope, and then came to rest on joy. It really was good news. And it was exactly the sort of thing they needed to hear in order for them to continue on fighting in this war. Morale had shrunk to near nonexistence after the Battle of Crait. Even though they'd escaped with their lives, some in the room had been contemplating fleeing the remaining Resistance group. Rey had heard their thoughts even though she had not wanted or tried to. Their anxiety and despair made their thoughts ever so present in the Force. It was a relief to her, personally, to see the faces of those members at ease in the Resistance's collective moment of happiness.
"In one standard cycle, we will be rendezvousing with him on the planet of Batuu, at an old outpost called Blackspire. We're going to make the transfer there, and also take some time to refuel, restock, and recharge. Our group will be split between the Falcon and the TL which should give everyone their own personal space. I'll be dividing everyone up in a couple hours and assigning posts."
It would certainly be a welcome change from what they'd all been suffering from due to the limited space of the Falcon. Rey was looking forward to having a proper bed and not being surrounded by freight boxes.
"This is just the first step," Leia said as she looked into each of their faces. "This is the start of our comeback. It has been hard the past week, but we survived. And now, we'll return stronger than ever."
Everyone assembled gave a loud cheer, fists pumped into the air.
The General smiled. "That's all for now, everyone. Dismissed."
A hum of excited conversation filled the room. Rose and Finn had embraced in a burst of emotion, jumping up and down while they both grinned from ear to ear. Next to Poe, BB-8's lights were flashing as the droid whirred with the same level of jubilation as his human counterparts. "Exciting stuff," Poe said next to her. "I can't wait to get back into the seat of an X-Wing."
Rey smiled, showing all her teeth. "Who's Poe Dameron without a fighter to call his own?"
He laughed. "Exactly! We all know I'm not good for anything else." When Rose and Finn separated from their hug and turned towards their two friends, Poe continued. "As soon as we land and get to that outpost, drinks are on me 'cause this calls for a celebration!"
The responsibility that she'd been carrying on her shoulders suddenly fell away in the face of good news and the happiness all around her. Between her lack of sleep, poor eating habits, and the random trysts with the enemy whenever the Force sought fit to see them connected, she was an exhausted, frayed, bundle of mess. Plagued by bad dreams, unable to fix her lightsaber, and forever confused about the man called Kylo Ren, it was a wonder she had not lost her mind completely. To finally have this piece of good news meant more to her than it could possibly mean to anyone else on that ship at that moment. Everyone had suffered, but none suffered like her. It was the curse of being who she was, a curse that was also a blessing. She was beginning to understand why Luke had run away all those years ago after he'd failed as a Master and his star pupil was lost. To be the lone figure everyone relied on, looked up to, expected to always be the hero and to always succeed, was a difficult burden to bear, but was especially overwhelming when failure presented itself. Luke had felt like a failure to his sister, his friend - to everyone. To the entire Jedi Order. And in his shame, he fled, unable to face that fact.
Rey had, after his passing, stepped into that very same role. Now The Last Jedi, her name was being spread across the Galaxy in conjunction with the stories of Supreme Leader Snoke's death, and the death of her Master, the great Luke Skywalker. Destiny was upon her; she was no longer the naive, but persistent and hopeful scavenger girl from Jakku. She was becoming a figure of power and strength for those wishing to fight the First Order to rally around and believe in. She didn't want to let any of these people down - she wanted to be the hero everyone was already whispering she was. But she couldn't even fix her lightsaber. The pressure had been mounting for so long, her need to perform some task in order to continue to prove to everyone she was exactly what they thought she was had begun to drown her. Before Leia's announcement, she was all they had had.
It was a reprieve to hear everyone laughing and see everyone energetic. The members of the Resistance were reborn, including her. She could do this. The Resistance could do this. It was no longer impossible.
He watched his Commander take the same walk he'd taken so many times when Snoke had summoned him to the throne room. Though the Commander was projecting calm austerity, with his hands clasped behind his back in the same fashion Hux did, his Supreme Leader sensed his underlying terror. It permeated his very being - and it should.
When he reached the end of the walk way he stood at attention, his heels clicking together sharply. "Supreme Leader," he said with puffed up dignity.
"Commander," he replied. He regarded the man in the same way Snoke had always regarded him from his black, soulless throne - like a squirming, pathetic weakling. Kylo Ren sat the throne, now. It was his own personal luxury to turn that kind of gaze upon someone else, after suffering under it for so long himself.
Silence filled the room. Kylo Ren wanted to give his officer ample time to soak in the appearance of his new leader, and the room he commanded with its bleeding red walls, and black hole-like floors. The colors of the Dark Side - colors of a Sith.
The fear poured off the man in waves.
"Remind me, Commander," he said into the oppressive silence, "when did I give you authority of the Knights of Ren?"
Sweat lined his forehead. "You did not, Supreme Leader."
"Yet," Kylo Ren continued coldly, "I received a report from one of my Knights that you'd administered orders during the incursion of the mining planet. Is this true?"
The worm shifted from foot to foot nervously. "Y-y-yes, Supreme Leader."
Kylo Ren rose. "Are you planning on taking my place, then, Commander? Wanted to get a taste for what it would feel like to command them - as I do?"
The Commander bowed his head. "Of course not, Supreme Leader."
Deferential fool. Looking at him so cowed and weak reminded him of his own behavior as he had knelt before Snoke all those times he made mistakes. How pathetic he must have looked; the same way this man looked. Humiliation and resentment came up from the depths of his memories, and pushed him deeper into hatred. Hatred of himself, hatred of how sad he had been, hatred of this idiot of a man who was all too painfully reminding him of what he'd endured because he hadn't been strong enough to do anything.
With a tight grip, he lifted the Commander off the floor by his throat. Ignoring the man's choking, he proclaimed, "They are my assassins, Commander. Only I give them orders. If you ever attempt to assume my role again, I will execute you without hesitation for treason. Am I clear?" he roared. It's inhuman quality suffused the room.
All the Commander could do was croak to death on his own tongue.
With a sneer, Kylo Ren released him, and watched him fall to the floor, grasping at his throat, doubled over like a four-legged animal. Had he ever appeared so useless? That thought alone made him want to make good on his words and execute the man right then and there. It'd be nice to feel his saber immolate its way through yielding, soft flesh.
He turned and made to return to his throne.
"It was - " the man coughed, saliva dripping from his purpled lips. "Hux. It was Hux," he cried out.
Kylo Ren paused. "Explain."
There was more coughing, more heaving, but eventually the Commander was able to regain enough composure to hoarsely spew the sentence, "When the miners revolted, I asked Hux to relay that information to you. I asked for permission to lead the Knights through the encounter in your absence."
It was the first Kylo Ren was hearing this. "Go on."
"He said you couldn't be disturbed, but to do so in order to quell the miners as quickly as possible."
So, without actually asking for the Supreme Leader's permission - or indeed, without even passing along the information of the Commander's request - Hux had advised him to use the Knights knowing full well the Commander would be in trouble once they returned to their true leader and informed him. Why would Hux want the Commander in trouble?
"Tell me, Commander. Do you and the General get along?"
"Not," a quick cough. "Not usually, no."
"That will be all, Commander. Return to your ship."
He picked himself up off the floor and left.
The Commander's words festered in his mind like bacteria on a corpse. Why would Hux pass along a false order to the Commander, except to throw him at the mercy of Kylo Ren's wrath? Did he want the Commander dead? It was certainly not a surprise that Hux should be plotting something, and that this could be a piece of his grand scheme, but why else would he want the Commander gone except that the Commander would not side with him in his plans to overthrow their Supreme Leader? So, the plot was to weed out all the loyalists and have them disposed of, opening the way for Hux and his backers to murder him.
The problem was, Hux had to know the Commander would say exactly what he said, and he would never inadvertently implicate himself in the plot of a coup. He was a rabid dog, yes, but a very sly, deceptive one. That's why Snoke had liked him so much, even as he clashed with his apprentice. It just didn't sound like Hux - too sloppy. Were they working together, then? Was this a smokescreen for something else?
Kylo Ren slammed his fist upon his table, safe behind doors in the comfort of his personal suite. Treachery ran amok of the Finalizer, and he needed to get to the bottom of it or risk falling victim to his subordinates just as Snoke had. He'd be damned if he'd be the arrogant fool Snoke was, and let someone kill him right under his nose.
For hours, his thoughts went in circles, trying to puzzle out exactly what was going on, but always coming to the same conclusion that he didn't have enough information to do so. Along the way, the horrifying prospect that Hux had gotten to his Knights and turned them against him had flashed across his mind - could they be turned against him? His own Uncle had, so why not them? Was no one on his side?
No, of course they were loyal to him. Of course they were.
But the seed had been planted. It had taken root in his mind.
Alone. Still dreadfully alone in the ink of outer space.
He needed to see her. He had to. The idea that everyone aboard his ship was trying to kill him drove him to momentary insanity, paired with all the symptoms of clinical paranoia. But though he needed it, the Force did not connect them. Not for a very long time. Too long.
When it finally did, she was at ease, in stark contrast to the plague that fogged his mind. She was doing nothing nefarious, as he feared every crew member on the Finalizer was. She was just reading from the ancient Jedi texts he'd seen Luke studying in the temple. Just the sight of her -
"Do I haunt you in your dreams, Jedi?" he heard himself asking, his mind in a dark place, in a place that needed to hear of the darkness of others to feed off of it like a parasite. "Standing before you now, am I a waking nightmare?" He felt like one. He felt wretched. Tainted. Not good for her.
But I need her. He couldn't give her up.
"No," she said coolly.
Should that word tear him apart, or put him back together?
"You haunt me," he divulged.
A shiver ran down her spine.
He growled. "I will find you."
As adept as ever at driving him crazy with her strength of will, she said lowly, "I can't let you do that."
The fire that burned within her - if he stepped into it, would it purify his soul?
What little gap had been between them, he closed in a flash and grabbed her, grabbed her as fiercely has he had wanted to do so many times before. Every time she defied him, every time she looked at him. "Rey - " he allowed himself that intimate chance to speak her name as he touched his forehead to hers.
"Ben, I - What's the matter?" Her voice was so tender. He couldn't remember the last time such a fond tone had reached his ears, and so full of concern. Why did such a strong warrior have to sound so delicate with longing when he was doing everything in his power not to crush her in his hands and consume her?
The Force couldn't keep the connection alive; the intensity of emotion between them overwhelmed It.