"Woman! I'm not finished with you," InuYasha bellowed. He stomped out of his hut, red-faced and angry at Kagome for walking away from him in the middle of an argument. Kagome, waddling some, but moving impressively fast for being eight-months pregnant shot a scathing look over her shoulder at InuYasha, and it almost—almost—stopped her husband in his tracks. Knowing she intended to take refuge in Sango's hut and wanting to finish what they started before she Ofuda-locked herself in and refused to leave until he forgot his reasons for being mad at her, he sped up.
"Oi! Slow down. Just turn around and talk to me!"
"Why?" Kagome stopped, shoving a finger in his face. "So you can keep yelling and throwing your ridiculous accusations at me some more? I don't think so."
She turned away, whipping him in the face with her long, ink-black hair. InuYasha's hands balled into fists. "How are they ridiculous?' he demanded. "I saw what I saw."
"And made a big deal out of nothing," Kagome shot over her shoulder.
"Didn't look like nothing to me."
"We were talking."
"His hands were all over you!"
"While he hugged me goodbye!" she screeched, turning back around to face him.
The Miko threw her hands up, frustrated. "You're impossible, and I don't know why I keep trying to explain myself to you. You're making my blood pressure go up and—"
"Your what?" InuYasha asked, looking puzzled. Kagome rolled her eyes, constantly forgetting whenever she used modern-day terms that her husband wouldn't know what she was talking about. Taking a deep breath, and silently praying for patience, Kagome said through grit teeth: "You're stressing me out."
"Fine," InuYasha said folding his arms across his chest and looking at Kagome in a way that made her immediately suspicious. "I'll stop."
"Fine," she said cautiously. "Thank you."
"...Just tell me what the hell you and that idiot wolf were talking about right before I walked in."
Kagome exploded. Of course InuYasha backing down from a fight was too good to be true. Of course. "No, you should trust me!"
Her husband snorted. "Please," he dismissed. "I ain't stupid."
Kagome looked at him, incredulous. "Really? You don't trust me? Even though I've never once given you any reason not to—"
She cut herself off abruptly, schooling her expression into the textbook definition of calm, cool, and collected. Without a word, Kagome turned on her heel and marched away from a confused InuYasha.
"Wait...wench? Where the hell do you think you're going?" InuYasha asked cautiously.
She didn't answer him, walking briskly away.
"Kagome? Oi, I'm not fini—iiugh," he shuddered when the look she shot him sent fear racing up and down his spine. Taking advantage of his momentary shock, Kagome sprinted the rest of the way to Miroku and Sango's hut, the mat covering the entrance slapping soundly behind her. InuYasha was livid.
"That's not playing fair at all!" He said, stomping over. "Oi! Come back out here and finish arguing with me, woman!"
He made to tear through the straw mat, but it zapped him. He cringed away from the hut, knowing his wife had slapped a demon-repelling ofuda on it, and though Sango and her family were inside there with her, Kagome was stubborn enough to lock them all in there for hours until one of them cooled off.
"Fine," he muttered. "Be like that."
He stomped away, looking back once and raising an eyebrow. "And don't think I don't know you were the one who taught her that trick, monk!" InuYasha snapped. Miroku ducked away from the window, but not before the hanyou caught his sheepish grin. "Traitor!"
. : .
When an hour passed with no sign of Kagome coming out of the ofuda-sealed hut, InuYasha got sick of menacing the unfortunate villagers he came across and pacing his empty hut. He decided to take his anger out on the one person who really did deserve it: Kouga. Just thinking about what the wolf did to set him off boiled his blood. He hated seeing him around and lately, all the mutt did was sniff around his Kagome. Though his wife never gave him any reason to doubt her before, the snippets of conversation he'd heard them having before he walked into his hut set him on edge.
"Oh, Kouga, I love it! Thank you so much. You're so sweet."
"Heh. Anything for you."
"Not what it looked like, my ass."
Finally, his anger and jealousy boiled to a point where he impulsively decided that, if Kagome wasn't going to speak to him, he'd beat the answers he wanted out of Kouga. Since the wolf had run off so fast, he hadn't gotten the chance to properly confront him, anyway.
The wolf wasn't too hard to find, as lately he and the members of his growing tribe had taken to camping outside of InuYasha's home village. Sure enough, he smelled wolf nearby and approached, plowing through his pitiful goons, Ginta and Hakkaku, to get to him. Kouga didn't seem surprised by his presence and looked up, bored.
"What were you and Kagome talking about behind my back?" InuYasha demanded.
Kouga folded his arms across his chest, a slow grin spreading across his face. Further enraging InuYasha, the wolf-demon was blushing. "None of your fucking business."
"Like hell it isn't," InuYasha raged. He felt about ready to kill the annoying wolf. "I don't like you sniffing around her when I'm not around. She's not your woman, wolf shit. She's mine, so back off."
Kouga raised an eyebrow, then began casually examining his nails. "Keep acting the way you do, and Kagome won't be your woman for much longer."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
InuYasha felt the vein on his temple twitch, but he waited for Kouga's response. The wolf enjoyed making him wait for it, opening his mouth as if he were about to say something and then closing it again. When finally, he leaning toward InuYasha as if he were telling him some big secret, Kouga smirked.
"You'll figure it out," he shrugged. "Hopefully."
InuYasha's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Bastard!" He lunged. "I will kill you. If you think you're ever going to take my place as Kagome's—aaargh!" he yelled, as Kouga cut him off with a hard bop on the noise and made his escape.
InuYasha glared hatefully at the wolf's retreating form, rubbing his hurt noise and not even bothering to try to catch up with the rival. It would have been pointless, because even without those damn shards in his legs, Kouga still ran fast enough to make him eat dirt.
. : .
Frustrated, tired, and drained of any fight he had left in him, InuYasha made his way back home, detouring through an unfamiliar forest to think up a way to make up with Kagome. Their fight, as always, was silly and stupid and he really didn't have it in him to push her away any further, sure that the stress he put on her most days wasn't good for their unborn pup.
"I'm an idiot," he muttered to himself, thinking back to her hurt expression when he implied that he didn't trust her. Of course he trusted her! The one he didn't trust was that damned annoying wolf.
Then again, when he really thought about it, Kagome had been right. Though Kouga had been around a lot lately, InuYasha couldn't recall the last time he'd heard him call Kagome his woman. While he still didn't completely trust the wolf, he knew that maybe he had jumped to conclusions.
Ultimately, it came down to his insecurities: he grew up not being able to trust anyone and sometimes felt that the life he led now could disappear at any moment. Waking up next to Kagome and feeling his pup kick into his hand always felt too good to be true. What had he done to deserve such a wonderful life? Such a wonderful woman?
InuYasha sighed and realized for the first time how drained of energy he felt. His legs felt heavier with every step he took until finally, he collapsed. When he laid a hand on the ground to try and lift himself up again, he noticed something strange:
His fingernails, blunted.
...but that only happened on the night of a new moon, and that had been days ago. Grabbing a handful of his own hair, he almost wasn't surprised to find the silver strands slowly turning black. It both surprised and confused him, until he registered his strange surroundings.
Thick clouds of pearly, opalescent smoke crept up and swirled around him. The scenario struck him as an oddly familiar one, but InuYasha was too dazed and confused to think clearly on what this meant other than that it had to be the work of some demon.
A demon he would have smelled had it not dulled his hanyou senses first.
"Damn it," he muttered, searching for any way out of this situation. The forest seemed to close in around him, dark and menacing. His head swam.
"W-what's going on?" he muttered. "Where the hell am I?"
His question had been rhetorical, but the forest answered anyway:
"You're where dreams go to die."
. : .
"...and where you will die," it hissed. "After I'm done playing with you of course."
Footsteps. Whatever was doing this he heard approaching slowly, each of it's steps calculated to leave him dreading it's appearance. Finally, a dark boot broke through the fog, mere feet in front of InuYasha. He traced the boot up to the tall, familiar looking demon.
"I've met you," he said, trying to place the blue and red-markings. Pale green hair slicked back into a ponytail. "Where?"
The demon smirked. "No," it said softly, it's head twitching to the side. InuYasha could barely move enough to avoid the silk strands that shot at him, wrapping tightly around his wrists and ankles. "We haven't met. Not formally."
"Then who the fuck are you?" InuYasha demanded. He struggled against the silk binds suspending him between two trees, which left him splayed open for the unfamiliar demon to do whatever it wanted to him. His trappings burned his wrists and ankles and the more he struggled, the tighter and more painful they got. "Why are you doing this?"
The demon walked up to him and ran a long, pointed fingernail down the side of his face, streaking red in it's wake. InuYasha tried not to show pain or fear, but it burned acidly.
"I'm someone whose been watching you for a very long time," it hissed. "Someone who's been waiting for you to fall into my trap."
"Why?"
"Because you killed my brothers, hanyou."
"Oh?" InuYasha thought hard about which demons he'd killed recently. None but a few lesser demons came to mind. The last powerful one had been Naraku, and as far as he knew (hoped, really), there weren't any more of him around. Baiting the demon with the hopes that doing so would get him to loosen his bindings, InuYasha spat: "I'm sure they deserved whatever they got."
"Filthy half-breed," the demon raged., belting him with a whip made of silk. "I'm going to enjoy killing you slowly. But first...allow me to show you what you deserve."
"What the hell are you—aaargh!"
It only hit him before the demon knocked him out that he knew where he was:
`Where dreams go to die,' InuYasha recalled bitterly.
`I'm in the forest of sorrows.'
. : .
. : .
Cautiously, he opened his eyes, then patted his body for any injuries. The demon that had tied him up was gone and there was someone approaching. Someone small and silver-haired, who he instantly and instinctively knew belonged to him. His suspicions were confirmed when the boy looked up at him, then through him with bright, golden eyes.
"Mommy," the little boy frowned. "Where's daddy?"
InuYasha gasped when Kagome appeared behind him. She looked older than what she should have been, considering their son only looked about four years old. Her sallow skin looked slightly gray-tinged and dark circles signaling lack of sleep scalloped her under-eyes. Sighing tiredly, the shadow of his beloved bent down to meet her son at eye-level, where dimmed blue gazed sadly into the boy's bright gold.
"He never came home, sweetie," she said softly, stroking his long dark hair. "We had a fight, and he just left us. Like we meant nothing to him."
"No. I didn't," InuYasha screamed, his fingers slipping through the boy when he tried reaching out. "I'm right here! I never left! I came back!"
The boy's face crumpled. He couldn't hear him. "Why? Did he find a new family? Did he stop loving us?"
"NEVER. I—"
The boy suddenly giggled as two arms wrapped around him from behind to toss him in the air. When he fell back down, it was into Kouga's arms. Everything about the scene brightened, including Kagome's saddened face. He watched her look on adoringly as Kouga ruffled his son's hair.
"Forget about him runt," the wolf smirked. "You've got me now. I'll be your Dad."
"Oh Kouga," Kagome crooned, sidling up to him. Her face became sharp-angled and grotesque. Malice didn't look natural shaping her usually kind features, and neither did the sickly sweet smile quirking her lips upward. She ran a hand down the wolf's broad chest and gazed up at him adoringly. "You're so good to us."
Her gaze then darted towards InuYasha, and looking directly at him in a way that told him she could see and hear him she purred, "You're a better husband to me than he ever was."
…
"No," InuYasha whispered, as his pup ran off, leaving the warped-looking Kagome and Kouga alone. His next, much louder protest Kagome drowned out with breathy moans as Kouga drew her up against him and began pawing at her, all out in the open and while the she still looked at InuYasha with ice cold eyes.
"Damn right I'm a better husband," Kouga grunted, and InuYasha's blood boiled when the wolf's claws tore at his wife's skirts in his rushed attempt to hike them up. Kagome giggled, and the sound felt like a knife-wound to the chest, sounding nothing like her usually melodious laughter. The two became his worst nightmare brought to life, Kagome urging Kouga to touch and kiss her harder and the wolf complying.
When she started sighing Kouga's name InuYasha finally lost it. "Get—your hands—off of her!" he roared, charging from his spot. He ran at Kouga, who at the last second shoved Kagome in front of him. Momentum prevented him from stopping, and InuYasha screamed when his no-longer human hand cut through her.
"Why, InuYasha?" Kagome whispered, only before him her face morphed into Kikyou's. Horrified, he withdrew his arm from her. He had claws again, and they should've been covered in blood, but they weren't.
"W-what?"
"I said, DIE InuYasha!"
Kikyou smirked, knocking back an arrow and aiming directly for his heart.
"And this time," she promised. "You won't wake up."
He resigned himself to the arrow, and was hit with a punch instead.
"-should have never been born," Sesshomaru snarled, swiping at him with his green-tipped claws. "Should have never received Father's legacy!"
"This is what you deserve," the demon from earlier echoed, and too weak to move, InuYasha fell forward. Kagome leaving him, Kikyou killing him, and Sesshomaru hating him...all of his nightmares and insecurities were being used as weapons against him and the demon that ensnared him was winning.
"Pathetic," Sesshomaru whispered, delivering a kick to his ribs that made his world go blissfully, beautifully black.
.:.
.:.
"He's not dead yet," InuYasha heard someone murmur. He groaned awake, his body sore and burning all over. A light, bright white and overwhelming lit the area around him, obscuring the face of whoever happened to be leaning over him, concerned and checking his vitals. Friend or foe, InuYasha found that he just didn't care anymore.
"C'mon," the vaguely familiar voice urged. "Get up, InuYasha. Fight!"
"Oh for Christ's sake," someone else growled. InuYasha squinted as another figure came into view, shoving the first guy aside. Then his eyes popped open completely and he barely contained a scream as the second person's foot slammed into his abdomen. Several times. Kicks punctuated the man's next couple of words. "Get—the fuck—up!"
"Easy! That's not how you—"
"It worked didn't it?"
"I must be fucking dead," InuYasha groaned. He looked up at the two males before him. One's features mirrored his own, save for the reddened pupils and purple, jagged lines striping his cheeks. The other was him but with darker hair and his mother's violet eyes.
"What are...how are...You two? But how—if you're...me?"
"Don't insult me," his demon doppelganger snarled. "This guy might share some of the pathetic parts of you that got you where you are now, but I am not you, and you'll never be me. Ever."
"I don't want to be you," he coughed, blood spackling the sleeve he'd used to cover his mouth. "Not anymore. I want to be—"
"Like him, then? Pathetic? Weak? Human?"
"No, but there's nothing wrong with him—me. I am who I want to be right now. A hanyou."
"Well, hanyou," the demon laughed. "You're not looking too good right now. A demon like me got to you and he's going to kill you."
'I'm already dying. I feel it.'
"Is that why we're here? Why I can see you right now?"
'Am I dead? Is this the end?'
His human self smirked at him. "I don't know, InuYasha. Is it?"
He balled his hands into fists. Tears pricked at his eyes as happier memories flashed through his mind. They weren't gray and dark and grotesque like the ones the forest demon had showed him, but colorful and filled with love and warmth.
"No," he protested weakly. "It can't be. I can't go. Not now. Not when I have a family who needs me. Kagome, the pup, my—"
Demon InuYasha charged at him, and before hanyou InuYasha's eyes opened to see that he'd been trapped in a silken cocoon the whole time, he heard the two halves of him yell:
"Then fucking fight back, you idiot!"
.:.
.:.
Miles away, in Kagome and InuYasha's still-empty hut, the Tessaiga flew out of it's scabbard.
.:.
.:.
With renewed energy and Tessaiga in his hands, InuYasha overcame the moth-demon and slammed him against a tree. Sword pressed into its throat, he glared angrily into it's eyes. He remembered now. Two older demons just like him entrapped him in this forest. Now their younger brother had grown and tried for vengeance.
"We can end this here," InuYasha said, gesturing at the ground where he would metaphorically throw his sword if the Demon chose to let things end peacefully. "Or we can end this here."
He flipped Tessaiga over so that the sharp edge pressed just painfully enough into the demon's throat.
The moth-demon squirmed.
"Your brothers didn't leave me any choice and I'm not sorry for killing them. They hurt innocent people, and tried to hurt my friends. Do you have people who you care about so much that you would kill for them if you had to?"
InuYasha thought about Kagome and his unborn child. He didn't want his son to someday fight this battle, to grow to hate someone as much as this demon hated him. The cycle of violence had to end somewhere or it would only beget more violence.
"T-two boys," the demon croaked weakly. "And a girl. I'm all they h-have."
"Then go home to them," InuYasha said, lightening the pressure of his sword against the demon's throat. "All I want right now is to go home to mine."
.:.
After rinsing off the day in a nearby hot spring, InuYasha's whole body melted into the warmth of his wife. At some point, she returned to their hut and had fallen asleep waiting for him. In the morning, he'd have to answer for the bruises on his body, and the cuts he'd received in the forest. But for now, he needed this. Needed her more than he ever needed anything.
'I almost didn't make it home to you. I would've died with you thinking I didn't trust you.'
Kagome, half-asleep, turned towards him.
"Where'd you go?" she mumbled. "You were gone all night."
He sighed, brushing a hand over her belly. Pride overwhelmed him when his son kicked into him and Kagome's lips stretched lazily into a smile. Her hand drifted down to cover his and he kissed her brow.
"I'm sorry. It's a really long story. I'll tell you later on."
"You okay?"
He hated that earlier, he had been the cause of the tears now dried on her cheeks. Hated that it happened all too often.
"Yes. Better now that I'm home."
"Yeah," she said softly. "I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?" He frowned. She snuggled into him.
"Or I forgive you. I don't know. I'm tired and I love you, dummy."
"But I keep messing up. I keep making you cry."
"InuYasha," her eyes popped open. They gazed adoringly at him, and he vowed to spend his whole trying to be worthy of that look. "When I came back here it was for all of you: the good, the bad, and the ugly. We fight—that's nothing new. Then, we make up. That's how this—" she squeezed the hand that rested over her stomach, "happened. What we have isn't perfect, but I'm perfectly happy that I'm with you. I regret nothing."
"Wench..."
"Yes, InuYasha?"
"I trust you. I want you to know that. And I love you, too."