Day 5

Apollo's POV

I can feel pounding around me as Mom runs as fast as she can. I try to stay still, but it's hard I want to squirm around and help her, it's SO tight in here (move your feet out of my face sis), but if I move at all, it'll hurt her, and if she's too hurt too move…

I wish I could help. I can hear the thing chasing Mom even in here, the way it barrels through everything in its path. How hard she's breathing, how much strain she's under. I can't see sis, but I can feel her. I can tell that she agrees. When we get out of here, we're gonna make sure this can't happen again.

My surroundings change. I'm free from the womb, born just a few days ago. I quietly sneak out of the tent I've been sharing with Mom and sis, bow in hand. I WOULD get my revenge on that serpent, that MONSTER that tried to kill Mom. I can't wake up Mom or Artie. They'd try to stop me. I KNOW I'm ready. Sis might be the Goddess of the Hunt, charged with killing monsters, but this one is MINE. No one hurts Mom. NO ONE.

I'm by the cave now where Python resides - the beast that chased my mother. Then - fighting, dodging, firing arrows as he lunges at me. His foul breath fills the chamber, choking me on its noxious fumes. If I had been mortal, I would have been dead long ago. As it is, the poison in the air makes it difficult to see, difficult to even sense where he will strike from. I glow brighter and brighter, trying to illuminate the cavern, but he doesn't give me any chances to regain my bearings. He strikes, wrapping me in his coils, squeezing me until I'm sure that I'll explode. I'll never see Mom or sis again. Will they cry when I'm gone?

I remember sis's face, the first face I ever saw, the first person to hold me. And Mom! She ran around the world for months, trying to find somewhere safe to have us.

No.

I can't go away. My family would be devastated.

I will kill Python. I will live. For the sake of the people who care about me, I have to win!

Another change. This time I'm running, chasing, ducking through the trees, racing to catch up to my Love. I must catch her. She's the one for me, I know she is. If I can just catch her, I know she'll change her mind! I know she'll fall for me too. She has to!

A part of me seemed oddly distant, separated from the rest of me. This part of me thought 'If only. If only I had stopped now. If only I had let her go.' The rest of me took no heed. I couldn't change what happened here. It was in the past.

A sense of dread filled me. I felt like something terrible was going to happen - I knew something terrible was going to happen - and I would be forced to re-experience it.

With a jolt, my mind shifted back to the past, to what had been my present. Daphne's just ahead of me. I can almost reach out and grab her, when I notice a change in her. I catch glimpses of leaves on her fingertips, see her skin darkening, becoming rougher. She slows down, enough that I can finally catch up. But it was no good. I've won the race, but lost what really matters. A weight drops into my stomach as her skin turns to bark beneath my fingers, her face twisting, sinking, becoming wood. I just stand for a moment, stunned. Then reality crashes over me, and I sink to my knees and sob. Daphne had chosen to die, rather than be with me. Her death was on my head. She had made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with me, and yet, I had pursued her anyway. I had killed her. I hugged her tree and sobbed, apologizing, telling her how sorry I was. But no apologies would bring her back.

A sudden shift. I am in bliss, happily talking with the beautiful Hyacinthus. I've loved many since Daphne, but since her, no one has captured my heart fully - until I met HIM. His laugh as he we threw a disc back and forth, his gorgeous purple eyes dancing with mirth. I am completely enamored with him, at peace in a way that I haven't been in centuries.

A part of me looked on, knowing that something bad would happen. My self at this point had no clue, but I did. I watched with dread, knowing that Hyacinthus died that day.

Grinning with joy, I throw my discus, showing off a bit for him. I turned and grinned at him, taking my eyes off the disc. I knew I had thrown well - I was really good with projectiles, after all - and knew exactly how far and in what direction I had thrown. I didn't need to actually watch the disc. Besides, I'd rather watch Hyacinthus's face as he saw what a great throw I had made. He watches it for a minute, then turns to me, knowing that I have won. I focus totally on him, on his reaction - though I will take any excuse to stare at him. He opens his mouth, perhaps to joke with me, or to say that he can do better.

I never find out what he was going to say.

My disc collides with his head, impossibly far from its trajectory. That moment sears itself into my memory. The sickening crack as the disc - my disc - collides with his head, caving it in. The blood covering his face, leaking into his open purple eyes. The way he collapses into my arms as I rush to catch him, trying desperately to heal him. I'm the god of healing! If I can't save the people I care about, what good am I?

I'm not any good.

A second true love, and he dies because of me as well.

My disc had killed him.

Whenever I dedicate my whole heart to someone, they die.

Because of my stupid decisions.

First Daphne had died because I had chased her when she was clearly not interested. Or perhaps because I had decided to tease Cupid. Either way, her death was my fault.

Now Hyacinthus was dead too.

0-/O-0

l woke up crying. The dream - the nightmare - is already starting to fade from my mind. But glimpses of the memories remain. I had forgotten. I'd forgotten my lovers, their deaths, them dying because of my faults. What else had I forgotten? Who else had I forgotten?

Forgetting… what was I thinking of again?

Scenes flashed across my vision.

Pounding footsteps.

Slitted amber eyes, shot through with yellow flecks, staring at me in hatred.

Leaves growing from the end of a woman's fingertips.

A bloody discus on the ground, next to a red and purple flower.

I screamed. I had to remember. I HAD to! I owed it to them. I… I…

It was no use.

My baby brain couldn't hold the memories, not yet.

I screamed and cried, sobbing and sobbing because… why?

I just knew that I couldn't stop.

Mother and sis entered the room, Meg at their heels. All of them looked terrified. Artemis looked around, no doubt searching for the cause of my fit.

Mother reached down, picking me up out of the crib and stroking my hair comfortingly.

"Shhhh… shhhhhh… we won't let anything happen to you. Nothing bad will happen to us, either. We're here. We're safe."

I just clung to her and cried. I didn't even know why. Just that I had lost that which is irreplaceable. And I couldn't even remember what it was.

I calmed down after a while. But for the rest of the day, I was out of it. I played with sis and Meg. strummed my ukulele (though looking at it caused pain to well up in my chest, I still couldn't bear to part with it), and even chased Meg around a little. I stopped doing that after a minute.

Something told me that if I chased her, she would die.

Like Daphne died.

I refused to crawl for the rest of the day.