Star Wars: Division

IceFire Dragon Alchemist73: Yes, I do wonder how Poe will react when he finds out Rey is carrying a flame for his rival... :)

onyxpass: Doing all right? Haha.

To all my readers: Enjoy!

Chapter Nineteen

The two women were locked in their seats, staring not angrily, or bitterly, but with a sternness of two friends who didn't like that their views were in opposition, knowing neither one of them would cave. It was a terrible silence, but Rey wasn't about to speak first. After all, she was the one on the defensive, so if she was going to be accused of something, she'd like to hear the accusations first, before scrambling to explain it away. They'd been sitting a good fifteen minutes, isolated in a remote conference room set off from the main hallway to the bridge. It had not escaped Rey's notice that she hadn't invited her to her private quarters, instead opting for a more business-like approach. Perhaps it was to maintain appearances for the crew, a choice to remain neutral in the whole situation, or perhaps she was really that worried about where Rey stood on the Light to Dark spectrum. She couldn't tell, just yet.

Finally, the older woman sighed and leaned forward, her elbows on the table. "What's going on, Rey," she asked simply.

Rey looked off at the far wall and folded her arms. Then she looked back. "Who knows about this?" It was best she understood just how widespread it had become that the Jedi hero was actually a traitor.

"You, me, Poe, Finn, and Rose, and that's as far as it goes," the woman answered heavily. "I told them to keep this to themselves. The other Resistance members can't hear about something like this. It'll crush morale."

Yes, crush morale. No concern to what it may do to Rey, though.

"I know you aren't a traitor, Rey. I know you've been thinking about how to save my son," her voice was shaky when she said 'son', and Rey's posture eased. Leia was being particularly composed, but perhaps it was all just a facade to keep herself from falling to pieces. She remembered their conversation about Kylo Ren, and how he hadn't been able to kill his mother when he'd so easily had the chance; how Leia had believed it was a side effect of Ben Solo continuing to exist within the dark folds of his alter-egos armor. "But this - ?" She made a hopeless gesture. "This Force connection, whatever it is, that you two have - it has to end."

Rey looked away, again, and fidgeted. Obviously, Leia's demand was expected, but it didn't mean she had to like hearing it.

"You need to pick a side, Rey."

"I have picked a side!" She suddenly burst out, unable to keep her temper in check. It was an insult to think the General she'd been serving for weeks didn't believe she'd chosen to stand at her side.

"No," Leia said, her voice firmer. "You are torn between your duties as a Jedi and the possibility of saving Kylo Ren just as his grandfather was saved. But it's a fantasy, it'll never happen! You need to let it go."

She wanted to ask, very defiantly and broodingly, "What if I don't?" But she knew that wouldn't help the situation she was in. The last thing she wanted to do was bait Leia and stoke a fire in her. If she wasn't at least slightly agreeable, then she worried Leia would relegate her to menial tasks, take her off big missions, omit her from meetings and battle strategy, or else push her away entirely, possibly out of the Resistance altogether. "I - " she sighed, and looked at the woman, frowned a little. "I'm trying," she lied smoothly, masking her deceit with the eyes of a hopeful fool. "But I want to believe he can change, and I - " again she cut herself off, bit down on her lip. "And this thing? This connection? I don't think either of us can control it. It's confusing, really, how it just started."

"When did it start?"

She pinched the bridge of her nose. "When I got to Ahch'To to find Luke."

Leia's eyebrows shot up. "That long ago?"

Rey nodded sadly. "I didn't understand it, at first. I was more focused on getting Luke back, and and - finding my place in all this," she gestured when appropriate, fueling her performance with the real emotions she had felt at the time; it had been confusing, and she had been desperate to bring back the Jedi Master Skywalker, so the short moments with Kylo Ren had felt intimate, but dream-like. Initially, she thought she'd been making it all up. "And then it just kept happening," she said barely above a whisper, "even after Crait, the Force just kept creating these moments between us. And I felt - "

"Alone?" Leia said softly.

Rey nodded. "Yeah. Having someone to talk to about the Force, about what was happening to me and my power, it was - Well, it was - "

"Nice," Leia answered simply, and she nodded. "I understand." Her voice was grave, but sympathetic, and when she looked up from the tabletop her eyes were kind as they rested on the younger woman's face. "It hasn't been easy for you, Rey, I know. My brother wasn't a great teacher, was he," she said half-humorous, half-sarcastic. "But it doesn't change the fact that this can't go on. It's dangerous," she urged. "The Dark Side has lured many a good-hearted Jedi who had high hopes and good intentions. And Kylo Ren hasn't been known for being deceitful, but a Sith will become whatever they have to to get their way. Don't be deceived."

Two standard days ago Kylo Ren had been on top of her in his bed, moaning her name as their bodies moved against each other, and she hadn't found anything remotely deceitful about the open, giving expression on his face, then.

"I'll sort it out," she said with a sigh. "I will. I can search the Jedi texts for a way to close it or something."

"And you'll face the truth about him? Just as I did," she pressed.

"Yes," Rey conceded. "I'll do my best to give up on the idea of saving him."

The General nodded, her mouth set in a thin line of somewhat satisfaction. "All right. That will do - for now." She stood and moved towards the exit, then thought of something and turned back. "Take a couple days to rest and relax. Meditate. Consult the Jedi texts. Find your center, before you go back out on a mission."

Rey swallowed, dissatisfied with that decision, but unable to do anything about it. So, she nodded instead, relenting. "Fine."

"We'll keep this from everyone else, so don't do something that makes it come to light to the crew."

"Fine," she said again.

"The Resistance needs you, Rey, like the Clone Wars and the Republic needed Anakin. Don't be tempted like he was."

Then she left.

She exhaled the heavy breath she'd been holding in. So, she was lying to Leia's face now, was she? She let her forehead hit the table and sat there for several minutes in an odd stupor of guilt and defiance. Part of her didn't like putting on a show because it went against who she was, which was honest and sincere and straightforward. And that's how her friends knew her - that's how everyone knew her - and it was how she wanted to be known. But there was a part of her that was rationalizing the lies, because if she told Leia the truth, they certainly wouldn't be sitting down to a chat to talk things out. If she thought Rey was jeopardizing the cause in any way - even though Rey had not passed a single bit of information to Kylo Ren and would never do that - she was sure the General would see her gone. The Resistance had gotten their footing, again; their numbers were increasing, the Republic forces were strengthening them, and other independent planets were coming to their aide, now convinced the First Order needed to be eliminated once and for all, before another Empire had the chance to take hold of power and strangle the Galaxy and its inhabitants. And while Rey was still seen as the Jedi hero, she was useful to Leia. If she gave the woman any reason to be suspicious, she'd be nothing.

No wonder Ben Solo had suffered as a child. Everything was business with his mother, everything was cut and dry. Even if she wanted to be a good mother and see her son, her duty to her planet, to the Republic, and to the Galaxy always superseded her son's needs and, judging from the state of their non-marriage, her husband's needs as well. And her own, Rey realized. Whatever desires she may have had to have a perfect family, and be a good wife and good mother, and to have an attentive husband and loving son, it would remain a dream, an impossible reality, because she was dedicated to her work as a politician, and the needs of others were always greater than the needs of personal relationships. And her husband was dedicated to his life as a rogue, and would never fully assimilate into the high society life of Coruscant politics. The thought made her snort. Yeah, Han Solo in a sky rise ballroom, cleaned up in a suit, sipping wine with his wife while they mingled at a social gathering. Impossible.

And between the two, the tragic existence of their son, who needed them, but also scared them, and who couldn't get their attention even as the successful, smart, powerful child he had been.

She rubbed her hand across her eyes, rubbing in frustration and exhaustion, and some other nameless feeling that was gnawing at her gut. The further she went with the Resistance, and with Kylo Ren, the more complicated things became, the more entangled and confusing and painful and wrong. She'd come from a simple life; harsh, yes, but simple. Wake up, scavenge, get rations, go home, and eat her meager meal and wait for the dawn to do it all over again. Sometimes she honestly felt like she was drowning, unable to keep her head above the muck and mire that were politics and the government and her personal feelings, and the destiny that had forced everything upon her in one fell swoop and wouldn't let go. Because like Leia, she wasn't able to turn away from her calling - not for anything. Even though jumping in an escape pod and hiding away on some remote planet in the Outer-Rim was oh so tempting, she'd never do it. If she did she wouldn't be able to live with herself. The cowardice of it would eat her alive.

How was she going to get through this?

Later:

"I'm glad to see you're well."

She smiled a little. "Thanks Master Skywalker. I've missed our lessons."

"Me too," he said with a quick gleam in his eye and a smile poking out through his gruff beard. "Have you been practicing your forms?"

She nodded confidently. "I have, but I'd like to run through them. Being out of commission for a week really puts a person out of practice."

Luke nodded in agreement. "Let's run through them. Begin with Form One, and move through the transitions like I showed you."

She picked up her lightsaber, took a deep breath, and began.

As was common during their practice sessions, she and Luke said little - only what needed to be said. She asked relevant questions, and he often gave cryptic answers, but she had learned a while ago that that was just the way of all Masters, to let their pupil come across the answers on their own, in order to better teach the lesson and promote self-growth. She was fine with that, really, as she already did almost everything independently.

That's why, after she'd gone through all the Forms several times and was sweating, she was surprised when Luke asked her, quietly, "Tell me about your relationship with Kylo Ren."

She froze a moment, ready to deny any relationship at all, but she sensed, suddenly, that that would be unwise, so she opted for a semblance of the truth. After all, Luke had seen them in the hut on Ahch'To. How could she even attempt to lie or deflect the issue?

Panting, with beads of sweat rolling down between her shoulder blades, she all but fell into her chair and relaxed against it. She put her lightsaber on the desk next to her and eyed the older man, in his oddly spectral form. "The Force is connecting us," she said heavily between breaths.

"Connecting you how?" He asked with a slightly quirked eyebrow.

"It - bridges us together, across space. We can see each other, communicate."

"Touch," he added pensively, no doubt thinking of that night on Ahch'To. "And your surroundings? Can you see where he is, and he you?"

She shook her head, "No. We see each other, and that's all."

"Hm," he said, thinking.

She watched him with some wariness, but also trepidation. What if she told Luke something that ended up getting back to Leia? They were siblings, after all. If he wanted to appear to Rey, it stood to reason he could appear to her, Force-sensitive as she was. Would Luke act as a spy for her? Were the two conspiring against her?

"And what do you talk about?"

Her mouth thinned. She didn't want to discuss any of their business with Luke.

He sensed her unease, and pressed the matter. "You must talk about something," he persisted, folding his hands in front of himself. "I can't imagine you two just sit and stare at each other."

She sighed, and grabbed a towel from the end of her bed. She began dabbing at the sweat lining her forehead and neck. "We talk about the Force, mostly."

"What about the Force?"

"The Light, and the Dark. Techniques, theory," she said vaguely, waving her hand around in the air in some off-handed gesture, trying to look nonchalant. "The same things I'd think Jedi Masters would talk about in the old Temple on Coruscant before it was blown up."

"Yes, the difference being," he said sternly, and drew closer, "they were Jedi discussing the Force. Kylo Ren is not a Jedi."

"Not anymore," she said with a bit of bite to her words, frowning up at the man.

"No," he said heavily, and relaxed pulled up from his leering posture over her. "Not anymore. And perhaps you can blame me for that, Rey, but it doesn't change what he is. Discussing the Force with a Dark Side user will lead you down a dark path."

"Why," she said defiantly. "Why can't I just speak with him to understand him? Isn't 'know thy enemy' one of the most important philosophies of battle? Is it so impossible to maintain communication with him and not be tempted by the Dark Side?"

"The Dark Side is nothing but temptation, Rey," Luke said gruffly, again advancing on her. His eyes were suddenly fierce, even as corporeal as they were. "Believe me. I have felt the pull of the Dark Side. The power, the easiness, ruling through anger and hatred and fear. Giving in to ideas of grandeur, of unlimited possibilities, and doing whatever is necessary to achieve that. My father," he said heavily, and he got the far off look of someone caught in the pain and nostalgia of reminiscence, "wanted me to join him, to rule as father and son and overthrow Palpatine. And I - " his voice caught. "And I almost said yes, Rey, because I imagined if I joined my father I could use my influence to turn him back to the Light, and we could be Jedi together, not Sith. We could rebuild the old Temple, rebuild the Order." His eyes cast down, filled with sorrow, "But he was too deep. It never would've worked."

"And yet," she said eagerly, licking her upper lip, "when the time came, he did what was right, and you turned him back to the Light in the end. You were stronger than his darkness."

"No, no I wasn't," he said sadly. "My father killed Palpatine to save his son's life. That was all. Though there remained slivers of Light in his soul, Darth Vader didn't believe in his redemption. He didn't believe he could be saved." His eyes lifted from the ground and he fixed her with a hard stare. "Neither does Kylo Ren. And if he doesn't believe, it won't matter how much you do."

She folded her arms; it was clearly not the answer she was looking for.

"Don't be stubborn, Rey. Don't be naive. He will use you same as my own father wanted to use me."

She kept her mouth clamped shut.

"Ask him what he wants. Sense his intentions through the Force. Don't be blinded, Rey. Find the truth." And with those last words, his Ghost form shimmered in the air, and disappeared.

She showered. While she did, his words continued to play in the back of her mind. Was she being naive for putting so much trust in Kylo Ren? Yes, she had sensed his emotions and thoughts - they were very real - but what if they were only memories? And he placed those memories in the forefront of his mind for her to find, to win her over, to distract her from the truth that lay buried even deeper below the surface. She roared and slammed her fist against the shower wall. It was becoming so difficult to navigate her own mind; just when she felt confident in this one thing, something came along to sow doubt. But they had - She swallowed at the memory. They had brought their emotional and mental connection to the physical world. Wasn't it real? Weren't his feelings for her real?

Perhaps because she had been thinking about him so much, but just as she was finished getting dressed in clean clothes, he was there, in her room, taking her in. And she had missed him, god dammit but she did, and seeing him standing there, with Luke's unfeeling, fiendish words in her head, all she wanted to do was hold him. Why did that have to be wrong? Why couldn't it just be right?

Because the Galaxy has never seen a relationship between a Jedi and a Sith, before. It's a love story with only one ending: tragedy. Death and pain.

His eyes were on her lightsaber, and the towel she'd been using to wipe herself down. "Practicing?"

She smiled a little. "I was," and she cleared off the towel and placed it in her dirty clothes hamper.

"So, your training with Luke goes well?" He said suddenly, a very unreadable, veiled tone to his voice. And underneath that - the makings of ill will and a threat.

This was the day every little thing she had been able to balance in her life decided to give her a wake up call and come falling down upon her, burying her underneath the weight and guilt and tangle of emotions. Her head snapped up. Her mouth opened to speak, but when it did he said lowly, "Don't try to lie. I know he's been training you."

So, it was that obvious? Well, she supposed it must be, considering she'd gone from a complete novice, to using proper Jedi forms and techniques with familiarity and ease. Plus, having been trained under Master Skywalker, it would be easy for him to recognize a fellow student. And she had been about to lie about it. Lying to Leia, lying to Luke, lying to Kylo - hell, she'd lied to her friends, too. When was she going to get this under control? How had things begun to tailspin so badly, when it had seemed so in hand a week ago? So under control? Then, she'd been back on Shu-Torun, fighting and rescuing and doing, like a real hero, risking her life and limb to join the fray, and it had been so uncomplicated, then, without the reminders of her afflictions between the two sides in the galactic war. Now she was lying more than she'd ever done in her life just to try and keep a grip on everything.

"Yes, she said stiffly, and slowly met his gaze.

There was something entirely different about him, something bordering on possessiveness, as he drew close to her and rested his dark, impenetrable eyes on her. "He'll try to take you from me." Hearing his voice was like hearing the warning howl of a wild animal.

She didn't back away from him, but she also didn't know what to say. His uncle was a sore spot for him, and no amount of coaxing on her part was going to smooth the issue over. "He's just training me," she finally said after a few moments worrying her bottom lip. "You know I need a teacher."

"Yes," he acquiesced, and then turned away from her, as if admitting that had stung him and he didn't want to look vulnerable.

Luke's words resurfaced. She hated that the older man - the dead man - had been able to get to her, but all the same, she needed to know, now, what exactly Kylo Ren had planned. "Tell me about your plans for the Galaxy," she said, and moved after him as he retreated. "Tell me about our partnership in all this." She wrapped her arms around him from behind.

He lifted her hand to his mouth and pressed a warm kiss to her palm. It tingled, and she smiled into his back, but then heard him say thickly, "No."

She withdrew immediately, the kiss on her palm more like a burn than a sign of affection. "So, you don't trust me?"

"It's not as if you haven't rejected me before," he said and she heard in his voice that the corners of his mouth were down turned.

"That - " she tried to rebuttal, but Kylo Ren turned and raised his hand to stop her.

"I'll tell you when you're ready, and not a moment before," he said lowly.

"And when will that be? When my basic training is complete? When I've finished reading the Jedi texts?" She huffed, angry at having the role of reject-ee turned around on her. "When Luke graduates me beyond a Padawan?"

He looked at her, not the least bit ruffled by her angry words, or the impotence she faced in her powerless position, unable to do anything about his willingness to reveal anything to her. He understood her frustration - he had been in her place many many times, first with his parents, then his uncle, and then with Snoke. Time and again, he'd been told he wouldn't understand, and he wasn't ready, and the time would come when all would be revealed. Of course, the difference being that he fully intended to reveal everything to Rey when the time was right, and everyone in his life had been lying to placate him, or control him. "You'll know," he said simply.

But that was unsatisfactory for the fiery, impatient woman, and he had never withheld anything from her, never denied her - except in the case of his father. Everything else, if she asked, and if she wanted, he'd tell her, he'd give, or else let her take. Like himself. He gave himself to her, to her mouth and her hands and her own body, and the memory of it made blood rush within her in a sudden peak of anticipation. His tongue, his teeth - his hips and her hips coming together over and over. And yet now, he was telling her she wasn't ready, and he was denying her, and it felt cold and lonely. How had she not proven herself to him? What more could he want? Maybe she was being unfair, especially as the one who'd instigated the situation, and yet her sense of self-righteousness didn't allow her to care much about her responsibility in the whole thing, and instead just left her stung.

Without a doubt, the shadow was creeping over her, like a spectre in a forest, hunting the pretty damsel in a fairytale, gliding through the trees and over the dirt pathway, reaching and reaching and reaching. A spot of darkness on her amazingly radiant soul. He'd like to think he was that spot, that lingering, malignant spot that wouldn't let her go. He didn't need to infect her and make her insides rot; he didn't need to spread and consume, no, that was not the point. Her strength and her courage and her Light must stay intact and wholesome. She must be Rey as only she could be. He didn't need to change her. All he need do was remind her he was there.

And she wasn't ready for what he'd been longing to tell her, what he had been so ready to divulge from that very first moment their eyes had met in his torture room. Because he had known - it was her. The girl from Luke's vision. It was her. And Snoke had been too blind to see it. Luke, he had thought, was the power in the Light that would rise up and rival him, and Kylo Ren had kept his mouth shut to protect her, even then, before ever having met her. He had bowed his head like a subservient apprentice and said not one word about who he knew to be the real power - the real Light. Because she was out there, somewhere, amongst the nebulae and white dwarves and icy moons - she was out there. And he'd believed she would come to him.

And now before him, here she was in all her glory. He hadn't expected -

But that was irrelevant. That didn't matter in the grand scheme of it all, though it certainly wasn't something he disliked.

"I was hasty when I tried to convince you on the Supremacy. I realize my mistake. You need to learn and grow, so that when I do tell you, you'll believe in it like I do. Not because I'm telling you to believe, but because your own experiences and knowledge lead you to the same conclusions. Only then will we be able to achieve our goals."

Her nostrils flared, her fists were clenched. The fire in her eyes was ablaze. And she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and thinking about Luke turning her against him, especially after tasting and learning her body, was keeping him awake at night as nothing had ever done before. He pulled her to him, into his arms, and was relieved when she didn't resist. They kissed, a warm, passionate kiss that helped them both vent their negative feelings, and instead indulge in something more luxurious. "The time will come," he said in her ear, and a shiver ran down her spine.

Late on a rainy night in Coruscant:

By then, it was common knowledge that General Armitage Hux and Senator Carise Sindian had gotten themselves into a bit of trouble with the Supreme Leader, and they were mildly disgraced. Though the Supreme Leader had not made a very large show of his disdain for either person, his demeanor when speaking - or referring - to either of them made it very clear he was, to say the very least, unhappy. The General had been put on a short leave - only a week - but that was enough for other First Order military personnel to begin to see the divide that was occurring, certainly the way Kylo Ren was trying to distance Hux from the apex of power within the Order. It was like he was slowly trying to wedge the red-haired man out, and people in high positions, with the qualifications to replace him as Lead General, had taken notice and then some. If Hux could be unseated, there would be an opening for a promotion, and everyone liked the idea of a promotion, working as the Supreme Leader's right-hand. It was alluring.

Then there was the matter of Carise, who was continuing her long streak of utter embarrassment, exiled from the Finalizer because the Supreme Leader didn't want her "dirtying his ship." That had been insult enough, and the Senator hadn't made contact with the ship, its crew, or anyone since then, though she had been a regular caller before. People knew a washed up political figure when they saw one. Sure, she still held her position, and she was still wealthy beyond compare, but the question of "how long" had certainly reached the lips of many a gossipers within the First Order, and the rumor mill was wild with speculation on just how her fall from grace would occur - when, where, why. It was fun chatter for lower ranking persons to speculate and fantasize about the downfalls of their superiors, especially when those superiors were heartless snakes.

And that is why, in a seedy bar, lounge, and pleasure club situated in the lowest levels of Coruscant, the two disgraced officials were having a covert meeting, beyond the prying eyes of their assistants and secretaries and rivals. If Kylo Ren got word they were meeting, surely both of their careers would come to an end, and that would be the least of it. Unfortunately, though they had worked hard to disguise themselves in the appropriate garb of the area and socioeconomic class, it was still obvious to anyone who watched with just a bit of a keen eye that the two did not belong in the dank, damp bar, with its usual patrons of bounty hunters and smugglers, and the workers who wore skimpy outfits and dance on table tops. Their posture was too rigid - their noses too high; they carried themselves with the air of the powerful and polished, even as they hid their faces with dirty capes and hoods and sat away from the main area at a small table.

But then again, even if they did stick out, the patrons of the establishment were used to keep their nose out of other people's business, not only because they valued their own privacy, but also because they didn't want to make trouble and get thrown out. It was one of the few remaining bars on Coruscant where they could congregate, and the owner had strict policies; she took no guff from anyone. More than a handful of times, she'd passed out permanent bans, and that was a death sentence for any smuggler or bounty hunter trying to get work on Coruscant. Being ostracized from the group was bad for business; no connections, no coin. That simple. So, once or twice, the shady characters of the place looked the other way and paid no mind.

"Your informant in the Resistance," Hux said in a frenzied whisper. "They're ready to begin cooperating?"

Carise leaned close to her confidante, a grin pulling her plum lips into two thin, wicked lines. "They are ready and willing."

"Excellent," he said in a rush of excitement. "Ren must be exposed before we're made fools of and demoted. This will be the way we do it. They've agreed to find evidence of the Jedi and him working together?"

"Yes, absolutely," she simpered, proud and preening from her ability to get an associate close to enough to the Resistance to recruit such an informant. Actually, the associate had made contact weeks ago, but at the time the informant had been unwilling, naive in their hope. They had had a sudden change of heart, and she was thrilled, especially as her ploy to get the Jedi assassinated had fallen through, and attempting it again was impossible because they no longer had her location. Having been reunited with the main Resistance fleet, they could be flying the Galaxy, or else bunkered down somewhere in a new headquarters.

Reports were that Republic forces were banding together with the Resistance, and they were rebuilding their numbers at an alarming rate. But, if they were going to continue to be a pain in the First Order's side, surely they could do so with Hux as Supreme Leader and Sindian as First Senator. Then, together, the two could finally squash the pests, and their vile messages of peace and hope, and the Galaxy could be shaped in their image.

"We'll need to be patient," Hux continued, thinking out loud more than anything. "We will need hard, definitive proof against him before we make a move. We cannot risk public humiliation again, or else if he did demote us the entire crew and Senate would agree, and raise no fuss. Something he can't weasel his way out of."

Sindian noticed his knuckles were white as he tightly gripped his glass. She placed a hand on his forearm to help ease the tension. "Don't worry, Armitage, we will do this. It's just as you said, we need to be patient and keep our heads down. The time will come." Her fingers curled around his forearm in a jolt of excitement. "Our time will come."

He raised his glass. "Our time."

She clinked her own against his, and grinned. "Our time."

They both downed their drinks and ordered a second round.