I roll over and reach for Donna, but her side of the bed is empty and the sheets are cold. I bold upright, feeling my heart start to pound. First,I glance toward the bathroom, but the light is off. She's not there. Then I peer through the doorway into the kitchen and beyond. Where the hell is she?

I throw the covers back, and climb out of bed. Geez! It's cold in here. Taking just a moment, I grab my boxers and t-shirt off the floor and throw them on while trying to convince myself that everything is fine. She's got to be here in the apartment somewhere.

I feel a little silly getting all worked up. But, it's been a crazy week with the polling, and the FEC. It feels like we haven't spend much time together. She was already asleep when I got home tonight, which was unusual. Typically she doesn't leave work before I do. Even though I always offer her the opportunity whenever I can spare her, it's rare that she leaves without me. But tonight, she was gone before my post-oval office meeting with Leo was finished. I hope she's feeling okay. She's been a little off this week. I hope she's not coming down with something. Maybe I should give her tomorrow off and let her get some extra rest?

My heart rate slows down a little when I finally find my missing wife sitting on the couch in the den. I'm glad to see her wrapped in a blanket. It really is cold in here. I don't want her to get a chill.

I can't really tell what she's doing. Is she reading? That lamp isn't very bright. She's going to strain her eyes.

As I get closer, I see that she's not looking at a book. She's holding a picture frame. A picture frame containing the photo of the best moment of my life.

Looking at it, no one would know it's our wedding photo. Our only wedding photo. We're standing against a blank wall. Arms around each other. Grinning at the camera. We're stone-cold sober.

When people think about quick elopements, they think about drunks getting married by Elvis in Vegas. But Connecticut doesn't have any waiting period either.

And when the campaign gives you a week off because your father just died, and you don't know how you're going to make it, and suddenly an angel shows up to help you get through it, and your Mom watches the two of you with knowing eyes, but is too crushed to do her normal matchmaking. And when on the day before you have to go back and face the real world, you finally realize that the only way, the only way, you're willing to go on is if you never have to worry about being alone again, well, sometimes you make a sudden decision.

And when your father was friends with the county judge, it's pretty easy to get in, get a license, and get married in under an hour.

And sometimes, you get lucky, because it's the best decision you've ever made.

I could just stare at her all night, and think about how I'm the luckiest man alive, but Donna's voice startles me from my reminiscing.

"You're falling for Joey Lucas."

Her voice isn't teasing, it's deadly serious, and I don't react well.

"That's a damn lie!" I respond vehemently, rounding the corner of the couch to tower over her.

She seems to shrink a little. "Mandy thinks so." She responds softly. "She told me about how the two of you were flirting in the oval office waiting for the poll numbers to come in. She said you'd make a nice couple. You wouldn't even need to get your towels re-monogrammed."

"I don't give a damn what Mandy thinks!" I shout but when Donna cringes, I lower my voice. What am I doing? We don't do this. I've shouted for her but I've never yelled at her. And I've never seen her look like this. Suddenly, I'm very anxious.

"Donna?" I ask softly, but she continues to study the photo. "What do you think?"

Finally, she looks up at me. Tears are swimming in her eyes. "I don't know."

My heart shatters into a million pieces and I drop onto the couch next to her.

She doesn't know? She doesn't know that she's the only one I want. That I have to fight back the urge to shout it from the rooftops? That every time someone makes a comment about us, I feel like I have to double down on this game that we are playing to try to avoid suspicion? That two years of this is starting to wear on me.

Is it even worth it? Whatever it is that we are trying to avoid? Leo's wrath? The President's disappointment? Is avoiding it worth it if my wife is sitting on the couch looking at our lone wedding photo dejectedly? Crying to herself and wondering if I'm in love with someone else?

I scrub my head and try to figure out what to say. I can't deny that I've been flirting with Joey all week. But I can't believe that Donna thought it meant anything.

I glance over at her. She looks so small. Her arms are wrapped around her body like she's trying to hold herself together.

"Hey, c'mere. . . . please." I ask gently opening my arms. The tears haven't stopped but she scoots over and leans into me so I wrap them tightly around her.

"I love you. I didn't mean to hurt you by flirting with Joey. I'm not falling for her. She's a nice lady but you're the one I want to spend my days with. You're the one I want to come home with. You're the one I want in my bed at night."

"It hasn't felt like it this week." Donna confesses and I start to realize that I may have done some serious damage here.

"Oh god, Donna, I'm sorry."

"Joey is beautiful and smart. She's your equal. I'm just . . ." a soft sob escapes as Donna trails off.

"Oh my god. Donna." I feel like she just stabbed me in the chest. "You're everything. No one compares."

She doesn't know this? I suck. I'm just a horrible husband.

Then a terrible thought strikes me. Maybe she wants out. Maybe she's sick of me. I'll do anything. I can't lose her.

I pull her into my lap and hang on for dear life while she cries softly into my neck. 760 word score isn't doing me any good right now. I'm at a loss.

"I love you, baby. Only you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I know I'm babbling, crooning words that I hope she hears. That I hope she believes.

Eventually she stops crying. She doesn't move, just keeps her face buried in my shoulder while I rub her back.

I'm exhausted but every fiber is on edge. I have to do something. I can't let my marriage end like this. I have to know there's still hope for us. So I ask the only thing that matters to me at the moment.

"Do you still love me?"

I don't know what I'll do if she says no. But I have to know how big of a mess I've made. I have to figure out how to fix this.

"Yes, of course. I still love you." She answers quickly. But then quietly adds, "If I didn't, this wouldn't hurt so much."

"I'm sorry. I was stupid. I didn't even realize. I didn't think I was treating Joey any differently than anyone else. I flirt with everyone."

"I know." She starts to slide off my lap, but I don't let her go.

"Please, stay with me."

"Josh. I was just going to sit next to you. This can't be comfortable for you."

"It's perfect. You belong in my arms."

"I want to be able to look at you while we're talking."

Reluctantly, I shift a little, letting her slide over but keeping her legs on my lap and turning so that we are facing each other. She takes a deep breath.

"Maybe you weren't actually acting all that different with Joey. But it really bothered me. I could see the two of you together. You probably would make a good couple."

"NO. We wouldn't. Donna, you're the only one for me. I don't want anyone else. I want you. I've never regretted getting married. Not once."

"But the way you responded to Joey- you made it sound like marriage was a trap to be avoided at all costs." Her voice goes up, "I didn't trap you!" And then goes soft again, "I thought you liked our life."

She sounds pitiful, like she really doesn't know that she's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.

"I do! I was just covering our lie. I've never had someone come right out and say something about me getting married. I didn't handle it well."

I give her hand a squeeze. "Asking you to marry me was the smartest thing I've ever done. I love our life together."

She looks at me with a measure of uncertainty and it absolutely kills me. I don't want her to doubt my love. How can I convince her?

Maybe it's time to give this secret up. It's been over two years. Certainly we've proven that we can work together without it causing problems. Well, I mean other than this week, but it hasn't caused problems with our work.

"The only reason I wanted to keep this a secret is because I can't function without you. We've been over this. Leo gave me a lecture when you started working on the campaign. He told me at the first sign of impropriety he'd move you out of my office so fast my head would spin. He'll kill me if he knows that not only did I fall in love with you on the campaign, but that I married you too. But I'd rather be dead than have you doubt my love."

"Don't say things like that."

"It's true. You know how I feel about my job. But I'd give it up for you. If it's ever a choice between you and the job. I choose you. I need you to know that."

She gives me a small smile, and I feel hopeful for the first time since she started crying.

"I don't want you to give up your job for me. And I don't want to have to quit mine either. But I also don't want our marriage to end in divorce."

"It won't!"

"Josh. The District has the highest divorce rate in the country. 29.9% How many of those people said it wouldn't happen to them?"

"That's just a statistic. It won't be us. I simply won't permit it. I will fight for you and for this marriage with every ounce of my being. You think I'm Bartlet's bulldog? That's nothing compared to what I'll be for you."

"Donna's bulldog?" She grins at me and I see the melancholy slipping away.

"Hell yeah."

"Okay."

"So you want to stay married to me?" I give her my best puppy dog eyes, and follow it up with the dimples. She has a hard time resisting the dimples.

"Yes. But can you reign it in a little with Joey? I don't know why she makes me feel this way, but she does. And I just need to know that I'm the one you want."

"You're the one I want." I pull her back on to my lap. "I'll make an appointment to talk to Leo and the President. Maybe I can convince them to just move you over to communications or somewhere close by. And then maybe you can convince them that I didn't debauch you and force you into marriage and they won't kill me."

"No. Don't do that. Somehow we've made it two years without anyone finding out. I like being with you all day. You're the one I want to work with. I don't want a different job. Just a little bit longer and we'll be past the re-election, then no one will care."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, but I'd like you to promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"Someday you'll take me to Hawaii."