Flower No Flower
Flower no flower
mist no mist
arrives at midnight
and leaves at dawn
arrives like a spring dream – how many times
leaves like a morning cloud – nowhere to find
-Bai Juyi
X X X X
"Welcome, everyone, to my poetry recital," she said to her bedroom. Her audience consisted of Takeshi, Hayato, an annoyed Reborn, and some stuffed animals. "As you all know, my teacher has instructed me to have more hobbies, as I apparently 'do not have a life.' Therefore, I wrote this special poem about how cool and busy I am, because, while I cannot defy Reborn since I'm a pussy, I still want to prove him wrong. Please listen to my work 'Friends are nice, but they kind of fuck up everything.'" She breathed in.
Friends are nice but they kind of fuck up everything
Like, before this happened I could just relax in my room
And now I am constantly in life-or-death situations
And weirdly enough, people seem to want to kiss me now
I am honestly still in shock, guys
Hibari-senpai?!
I am very proud of myself for not vomiting blood
Because I am so stressed out
That is all
Thank you.
"Wow, Tsuna, that was very profound," she said, applauding herself. "I couldn't even tell you made it up as you went along. Yessss, very niiiiice. And was that freeform?" She clapped even louder to cover up the silence of the room, and imitated cheering fans. "Go Tsuna! Your future as a poet it really bright!" She stopped abruptly and turned to the silent room. Reborn was on his phone, bored, while Hayato and Takeshi seemed to be in shock. "Really? Was it that bad? My closest compatriots can't even give me feedback?"
"Hibari-senpai kissed you?!" the boys screeched at the same time. Reborn didn't even look up, because he was obviously omniscient and knew everything and was never surprised because he was an asshole.
"Really? No, 'Wow, Tsuna, you're my super wonderful best friend and I totally support your poetry career?' I mean, I get that Hibari-senpai was the main focus, but you guys are really acting unsupportive right now." She lifted her voice until it sounded like a haughty whine. To be honest, she was also freaking out and really wanted to talk about just went down. In fact, that was why she had gathered them all in this room and forced them to listen to on-the-spot freeform poetry.
"Sorry, Tenth-"
"Nevermind! I am panicking! Hibari-senpai, demon of Nami Chuu, kissed me!" She was pacing around the room and gesturing wildly with her hands. "I mean, it was fun to make him blush and all that but I never assumed he was — well, you know." Tsuna collapsed to the floor, curling up in fetal position and letting out a high keen.
"Tsuna-nee is ranked #504 out of 86,202 mafia members for being most nonchalant when receiving romantic attention, so you're acting really out of character right now," a boy said, peeking through the doorway.
"That's because it's Hibari-senpai, Fuuta-chan!" Her voice sounded like she was dying. Tsuna had perked up enough to look the kid in the eyes, and Hayato and Takeshi were staring between the two blankly. "Guys, this is Fuuta-chan. He's a pretty cool dude who can, like, talk to aliens or some shit. He lives here now."
Tsuna had actually met Fuuta in her house where he had been for some reason. Maybe she should make a sequel to Friends are nice, but they kind of fuck up everything? It would be called Maybe you need to start accepting that strangers are going to continue to show up in your house, Tsuna, you whiny bitch. That was a topnotch, god-tier, S-class fucking title, and that's why it needed to be so long. She was an artist, goddamnit!
X X X X
After many attempts of trying to ditch the boys, she finally made it to the bookstore. Alone. As she was perusing — and what a fucking nerd word that was — the tiles, a new arrival caught her eye. A special print of various H.P. Lovecraft works! The cover was so beautifully illustrated! She had to have it! But, just as she touched the book another's hand had reached it as well.
The ultimate cliche!
Hesitantly, she looked at the person she was bound to have a romantic interaction with and found a girl around the same age and height as her. Well, that was new. Not that Tsuna was complaining of course, since she liked girls just as much as she liked boys, and this girl in particular was crazy cute.
"E-eto, I'm so sorry, Stranger-san!" The girl squeaked and handed the book to her.
"Ah, no it's fine. You can have it. I'll just grab another…" Tsuna looked and paled in horror. That was the only copy! Fucking shit, man… "Ehhhhhh~" Her soul floated out of her body in misery, while the girl panicked and fussed about her. "It's fine. I'm fine," she wheezed with dying breath.
"No! I really insist you take it!" she held out the book to Tsuna more firmly, and Tsuna at least had the decency to pull herself of the floor then. Honestly, with the way people thought of her, they must assume she was some kind of monster with no manners. And while Tsuna was a monster, her Mama raised her right!
"Alright, alright," she sighed, and took the book from the girl. "How about I buy it, and after I'm done you can borrow it from me, yeah?" Inside, Tsuna smirked evilly. A key factor of this plan involved getting. those. digits. She was a master playa', ain't no lie.
"I-I suppose…" The girl quivered, before flushing with embarrassment. "Oh! I haven't even introduced myself…" She bowed slightly before straightening. "My name is Chrome; it's nice to meet you." Tsuna literally swooned. This girl was cute as hell and for some reason Tsuna felt like a dirty old pervert for even being near her. Was it weird to call the police on yourself?
"I'm Tsuna!" She smiled her very best smile, the one that didn't make her look crazy. Ha, as if she ever looked crazy. Tsuna was probably the most sane dame in the game, people just didn't know it. Still, Reborn had been making her practice expressions is the mirror because apparently she lacked "the basic skills of human interaction." Reborn was such a dick. And a liar! Obviously, so many boys — two, three if you counted Shamal which she did not — wouldn't want to kiss her if she wasn't a social beast. "Here, let me give you my number so I can text you when I'm finished!"
Chrome seemed nervous but pulled out an old mobile anyway. Luckily, Tsuna was very adept at the old way of texting. 8-7777-88-66-2 444-7777 2 44-666-8 22-444-8-222-44. See? Anyway, she put in her number and sent a basic text. Feeling her own phone ring in her pocket, she took it out and saw that it had worked! Unfortunately, she also had a text from Reborn~
Come to the hospital immediately or I will murder you.
The text made her pause slightly, though she was sure nothing serious happened. Just to be sure, she texted her mother who said she was safe at home. Breathing a sigh of relief, she said "Hey, Chrome-chan, do you want to grab some frozen yogurt with me? There's this place down the street that's pretty rockin'. It'll be my treat, of course." Tsuna was pretty sure that if you just ignored something, eventually it would calm down and everything would be fine. Besides, she couldn't just leave this poor girl hanging.
"I would love to, Tsuna-san!" Chrome was a fucking miracle girl, and Tsuna's heart seriously just imploded.
X X X X
"How is froyo so soft? Literally, it's like eating lotion if lotion was flavored like cheesecake!" As a person who had eaten lotion before, Tsuna knew that lotion was far, far less solid and appealing. She was basically an old person too, because she just fuckin loved her some soft foods. Instant mashed potatoes, Nutella, smoothies, you name it. Her favorite thing was not having to chew. Man, she couldn't wait for her dencher days.
"Y-yes, it is very good, Tsuna-chan," Chrome softly replied. Tsuna had used her wicked persuasion powers to beg Chrome to call her something less formal. Mostly she just said "Preeettttyyyyy Pleeeeeeassse" until Chrome got so uncomfortable she had to comply. Chrome had, of course, chosen to get dark chocolate flavor since she was a bad bitch, while Tsuna chose strawberry cheesecake since she was just a bitch, and a slightly basic one at that.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket.
You are the dancing queen~
Young and sweet~
Only seventeen~
Dancing queen~
She looked on the screen and saw a picture of Angry Reborn flashing. She looked at her unfinished cup and then at Chrome remorsefully.
"I should probably go, Chrome-chan," she sighed, pouting. "Call me if you ever want to meet up again~" She winked at the girl before she left and was delighted by her faint blush. Chrome waved shyly back.
"Sup?" she asked, balancing the phone between her shoulder and ear while scooping some delicious treat into her mouth. Let it never be said that Tsuna could not multitask.
"Sup? I texted you half an hour ago! Where are you?" Reborn seethed. Tsuna. Was. Shocked. Reborn was slightly less annoying when he showed actual emotion, and he was definitely raging right now.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm walking there now. Tell you the deets when I get there," she said and hung up abruptly. Tsuna's favorite part of not being a real human being was not having to say goodbye to people during phone calls. She literally always just hung up like she was the star of an action movie. Which she basically was, since this was an ACTION and not a ROMANCE, not matter what the plot was trying to pull!
Tsuna was going to be the star of a Shounen even if it killed her. She would join the ranks of the greatest Strong Boys of all time. Monkey D. Luffy, Naruto, Ichigo Kurosaki...maybe even Edward Elric~
"Helloooooow, I am looking for an angry man in a fedora, please~" She smiled as the woman at the desk gave her the room number. The hospital really should make it harder for just anyone to wander in. Tsuna had seen the shooter episode of Grey's Anatomy and found herself slightly concerned about how easily she had just walked in.
Just then, she received another text.
Sasagawa Ryohei is in the hospital. Hibari Kyoya and Fuuta are currently missing.
What the hell?! Why hadn't Reborn told her as soon and he knew? She supposed she should have been more worried when he mentioned the hospital, but so far the Daily Life Arc hadn't resulted in any serious situations, and she let herself grow complacent in peace. As she walked in the room, her heart contracted as she saw the white haired boy lying prone on the bed.
She should have gotten here earlier.
"Ryohei-kun's looking pretty rough, Sasagawa-chan," she observed while walking into the hospital room. Reborn was somewhere in hiding since he liked to make dramatic entrances whenever she was around while Kyoko clutched at Ryohei's limp, bandaged hand. Tsuna settled into the chair next to her while she hastily composed herself.
"Nii-san's gotten injured in fights before, but never as badly as this." Her other hand was trembling and Tsuna hesitantly laid her own over it gently. Kyoko turned hers so their palms met and threaded her fingers through Tsuna's. Tsuna stared at her pale face the entire time, but Kyoko's eyes remained focused on the floor. "I'm really worried, Tsuna-chan."
"From what I've heard, Ryohei-kun hasn't been the only one targeted," Tsuna said, uncharacteristically serious for once. "Reborn even told me that Hibari-senpai's gone missing."
"Hibari-senpai!" Kyoko exclaimed. "But-"
"I am thinking the same thing as you, Kyoko," she said comfortingly. "How will the world continue without his tight ass?" As she exclaimed that, something hard hit her head, causing her to collapse face first on the floor.
"This is a serious situation, Dame-Tsuna." Reborn's demon voice echoed. Tsuna looked up to see a being cloaked in black with glowing eyes staring down at her. I'm so sorry, Mama! I am actually going to be murdered! "Where were you for the last forty minutes?" Reborn's, like, kinda acting like my mom right now, which is pretty weird…
"Well, at first I was at the bookstore because obvi, and then I was looking at this new compilation of Lovecraft works, when I met this cutie who was also into H.P.'s works. I would call Lovecraft my homeboy, but he was a racissssssst. So, I gave her my digits and we went to grab some froyo," she explained. She had finished the froyo a while back, so she really didn't have anything to prove her story…
"I believe that you went and got frozen yogurt, Tsuna. That is not the problem here." Reborn sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "May I speak to you outside?" he said, glancing at Kyoko and the unconscious form of Ryohei.
From where she sat, Kyoko could hear the furious whisperings from behind the door.
"How could you be so irresponsible? Who just ignores a text about a hospital?!"
"Yeah, my bad, Reborn…"
The next two minutes consisted of Reborn's lecturing and Tsuna's glum acceptance.
Tsuna's Guide to Success
Eat bagels, but don't overdo it
Admit when you're wrong, even if it's embarrassing
Due to #2 on the list, Tsuna had to act like a real man and endure whatever Reborn dished out like he was her sexy lunch lady. Today, the menu item was a strange mystery meat meal that Tsuna was apprehensive about. Usually, there was at least mashed potatoes and corn on the side, but today there was only the earthy, cloying flavor of a block of unidentifiable carnage.
"I know that you're flippant about pretty much everything, but I thought you would at least recognize that one of your friends might be in danger." Reborn's eyes were flat and narrowed, his arms crossed stiffy across his chest. "I'm not just training you to be a mafia boss, I'm training you to be a better human being. Today, I can see that I've failed." The I'm not angry I'm just disappointed tactic had been used on Tsuna many times in her life, but never as devastatingly as now.
"I'm sorry," she said, looking away as tears blurred her vision. "I'm not used to having to worry over anyone but Mama. At the moment you texted me, she was the only one I could think of that could be hurt, and since she said that she was fine, I assumed that this was just another one of your plots. Even if it was, I should have come. You're my teacher and it was wrong of me to disobey you like that. I-I actually am really worried." She sniffled as a traitorous tear ran down her cheek. God, she was such a wimp.
Large, warm hands rested on her shoulders and guided her to a firm chest. She let her cheek rest against the rich fabric of an expensive suit as strong arms wrapped around her. The salt of her tears was overwhelmed by the scent of Italian espresso. Her hands gently clutched his jacket.
"I'm such an idiotic fuck-up. How can you deal with me all the time?" she asked weakly.
"You're more than that, Tsunami. Trust me."
X X X X
"Alright, team, gather around." Her "team" consisted of Takeshi, Hayato, Bianchi, Haru, and Kyoko. The last two weren't combatants, obviously, but it didn't hurt to have more ideas for strategy. Haru was invited because why not, and once she told Kyoko at the hospital that she was planning of avenging Ryohei, the girl had immediately wanted to help. Mama was currently upstairs entertaining the kids.
"We have basically no information besides that the location is Kokuyo Land and the suspect might be…" She looked at the smudged writing on her hand. "Bokuro Murkory? That doesn't sound right at all…" Tsuna thought that forgetting people's names was a juvenile way of making someone feel bad, so she tried to avoid it. Unfortunately, she also happened to be terrible with names.
"Rokudo Mukuro, you idiot," Reborn said from beside her.
"Yesssss, Rokudo Mukuro, not whatever I said." Tsuna willed the name into her mind. It would be awfully embarrassing is she forgot it again… "Anyways, as I was saying, we have no information whatsoever. If Reborn told us some things that he knows, that would be great," Tsuna threw a pointed look in his direction. "But I have a feeling he won't since this is some sort of 'honor trial' for me." Tsuna rolled her eyes and was cuffed in the head for her efforts. When she turned to him, her eyes watering, clutching her bruised scalp, she saw him standing unmoved. Still, it seemed like some sort of deadly aura radiated from his form...Tsuna shivered.
"Alright, you two," she pointed at Kyoko and Haru. "I know there's not a lot to do this time around, but Reborn has been kind enough to supply us with a covert communications network." She pointed to the tiny black device in her inner ear and handed some bulkier versions to the girls. "I'll fill you in on what's going on and if you have any input, all you have to do is press this button, speak, and I'll hear you." With the devices, they could already hear everything going on around her, anyway. Tsuna just hoped that she remembered to take out the comm after all this was said and done.
"Since you're on the team, even if you're non-fighters, you should still be able to defend yourself if something goes down." Tsuna handed Kyoko a small black pistol, since she seemed like the more responsible one. "You shouldn't need to do anything more than threaten, but shoot if it's necessary." She turned to Haru. "If you feel like your lives are in danger and Kyoko is hesitating, I'm going to need you to take over."
"If that's not okay, you can back out at any time."
"If this is what it takes, Tsuna-chan, then I'll do it." Kyoko's voice was firm and her gaze never wavered from Tsuna's. Haru nodded fiercely beside her. Both their eyes were filled with fire that left her eyes suspiciously wet.
"Then let's dynamize, y'all!"
"That's not how you use that word, Dame-Tsuna."
X X X X
"Is your lizard okay?" Tsuna poked Leon's fluctuating form with the tip of her finger before she was smacked away.
"Whenever Leon's in this state, something bad usually follows," Reborn stated, shading his eyes with the brim of his hat. "It's an omen."
"Listen, I get that you're a cool guy and all, but is the fedora really necessary?" Tsuna could straight up not focus on Reborn's suave moves when he was wearing one of those. "I mean, I get it. I really do. But fedoras are still the epitome of douchebaggery, you know?" The back of her head was hit so hard that she fell face-first into the dirt. "You really shouldn't injure me before I'm about to go into a big fight."
"If that injured you, then you haven't been a very good student." Reborn didn't even glance at her fallen form. "Besides, you know what happens when you disrespect your teacher."
Tsuna pouted, face still buried in the carpet.
Tsuna's Fight Highlight Reel! *。 ﾟ* ヾ( ゝз・)ノ
Hayato-kun defeats some guy with glasses, no problem! Victory!
Takeshi-kun defeats some animal dude maybe in the dark? Victory!
Bianchi is super badass and takes down a band nerd! It still fucking hurt my ears though. Victory!
Some old man and weird zombie people try to kill Kyoko and Haru or something? They don't shoot the zombie men but they get very close before Future!I-Pin and Regular!Shamal kick their asses. Just like in the actual series!
I defeat a man who has a pretty solid sob story, which is probably insensitive to say. Reborn uses a Dying Will Bullet, which he promised he would not do!
The lesson of this story is never to trust anyone because they're always lying.
This concludes Tsuna badly summarizing her own life events. Come back next time!
"Hellooooooo…" Tsuna whispered as she entered the Kokuyo building.
"Idiot, who are you trying greet? The enemy?" Reborn scolded, which Tsuna didn't think he had the right to do since he hadn't helped at all. Sure, that was his job but Tsuna didn't even want to do this!
"The ghosts? I don't know, maybe Fuuta-chan or Hibari-senpai are around here somewhere? Speaking of, should we, like, look for them?" Tsuna pondered, resting her finger on her chin. "The whole reason I came was to get them, after all."
"And to avenge Nii-san!" a voice in her ear reminded her.
"And to avenge Ryohei-kun, yes," Tsuna agreed. "But rescuing comes before vengeance. Right, Kyoko?" She made a sound of agreement. "After all, what kind of heroine would I be if I didn't look after some damsels in distress?"
"You're right, Tsuna-chan!" Kyoko giggled and Tsuna got the distinct impression that she was twirling a lock of her orange hair.
"Small animal...I will bite you to death." Tsuna flinched instinctively at the words before realizing the source. Hibari-senpai wasn't dead! She turned to look at the sound's direction and found Hibari leaning against the wall, looking a mess and definitely injured. Still, his eyes held a predatory gleam that could only be found when he was super pumped. Tsuna could only hope it wasn't directed at her.
"Hibari-senpai! I'm so glad you're not dead!" That was true for multiple reasons. 1.) She actually respected Hibari a lot as a person. 2.) He was damn sexy. 3.) He's always down to help her in a fight. Usually because the people she was fighting broke the laws of Namimori or something. "Don't you think you should be, like, sitting down? Or something?" At his blank stare, she said "Nevermind, continue with, uh, that."
"Sawada Tsunami! You have arrived!" a disembodied voice echoed.
"BRB, Hibari-senpai. I'm kinda in the middle of something right now but talk to you later! It's good to see you breathing!" Without waiting for a reply, she rushed off to wherever the voice was coming from. Right now, it seemed to be to the right. Looking at the stone walls around her, she thought 'This is not a good idea.'
Eventually she made it to a wide room, perfect for tournament-style dueling. It had taken her a while to get here. The first right, then two lefts, then another right, then straight, and it was just a whole complicated ordeal. She turned the wrong way once and the voice was very frustrated with her and heckled her about failing her school-mandated hearing tests. Which, like, was totally uncalled for.
"Which one of you is that bitch!" she called. Actually, there was only one guy in the room, besides Fuuta of course. Wait, Fuuta? "Fuutaaaa! You didn't betray me did you?" she wagged her finger.
"I'm staying with Mukuro now, Sawada-san," he replied very flatly.
"Well, that's disappointing but fine I guess. I'm not gonna hurt you but I probably will have to restrain you in some way if you interfere. Which you shouldn't! You're too young for this kind of business, kid. Let me tell you, when I was your age—"
"Vongola! Enough of your mindless, incessant stream of consciousness!" the other guy said. "Let's fight so I can end the line of succession in your famiglia. Then, your mafia and the other mafias connected to it will fall!" He rushed forward with his trident. In a split second, Tsuna's mind cleared in a way it never had before. She felt totally and completely calm.
"Thanks for the goal summary, man. But I think you're being a little-" she dodged a jab "-counterproductive here." She continued dodging at a rapid pace as her words only seemed to make Mukuro even angrier. "The Vongola is actually a pretty tame famiglia. They mainly work in the stock market and regulation of other families. And drugs, but, you know, it's the mafia. Anyway, there's a lot of corruption, but I would change that as a boss because I am the only person allowed to be morally corrupt." She smiled. "So who has two thumbs and shares a common goal with you?" She pointed at herself. "This guy."
"It's nice that you would say that, but all mafia scum are the same." The world shattered around her and her vision failed. In fact, all of her senses were gone. It was almost like being underwater again, except for one major difference: she had her intuition. When he struck again, she was still able to dodge.
"This is a pretty shitty illusion. 0/10 for creativity." she might have said. She still couldn't hear anything. Because of the state she was in, however, she was calm and confident about her every action.
"Oh? Let's try something else then."
A/N: He's here, baby!