A/N: Some Bilbo's exposing himself
Fighting with goblin, falling down and then exchanging riddles with that creature was like a long night mare but Bilbo kept it together. He was alone in the belly of the mountain but he could find his way only if he stays calm. Like his mother said, anxiety is enemy of the mind, he just have to think clearly. Most things about Gollum were disturbing and frightening but he had to keep his mind in the game. Bargaining for the ring was his only leverage so he held it tightly. But through that grip something cold and strange crept up his spine but he described it to his surroundings and Gollum's voice. Riddles, he has to think clearly. Fear that Gollum wouldn't honour their game make his voice to tighten. It all seemed lost when Gollum lost sight of him and he discovered he was unseen.
World looked like it was dimmed behind a curtain and that curtain enveloped Bilbo keeping him out of sight. He hadn't thought of it much, he was too scared still, but he used it to get out.
As Gollum stood between him and the exit Bilbo thought he has to act, that he has to kill him to get out but then he looked at his big scary eyes and didn't see anger. He saw sorrow and pain and he couldn't bring himself to harm him. It had to be another way. Gollum was crouching to the ground so Bilbo took a chance to jump over him. Something a respectful Hobbit would never even try. But respectful Hobbit wouldn't ever caught himself wandering in dangerous passages of the mountain full of goblins. Respectful Hobbit was far behind him he thought as he ran over Gollum's head and after running dwarves that ran too quickly to catch up with.
When he finally got to them they had already caught their breath and started to worry about him. He almost took his ring off without second thought when Thorin spoke up. His voice made him hide behind a tree. Although he know it's unwisely to listen what someone talks while you're away he couldn't help himself. He remembered the night before and how Thorin scorned him. He was about to get back, wasn't he.
Bilbo looked behind thinking about leaving without goodbye listening to Thorin's angry voice but then, unseen he could finally hear what was hidden below the anger. Bilbo could hear the pain, disappointment that went beyond Bilbo himself and was directed towards the world itself.
"He thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since he first stepped out of his door" Thorin said and Bilbo thought about it. Thorin was wrong, he thought to himself, he had thought of them often but he thought of dwarves and their troubles also. And he thought of Thorin and his anger, his disapproval of Bilbo. If he leaves now this is what will stay in Thorin's mind about him. He'll be remembered as a soft quitter that cared of no one. But he cared about them, he cared about Thorin. He wanted to see them safe. That's why he took of his ring, put it in his pocket and stood before them.
Dwarves asked him how did he get passed the goblins and after a brief hesitation he discovered that he wasn't willing to share his new find with them. Maybe there was something of a burglar in him. Luckily they didn't persisted, but Thorin did. Although Thorin didn't wanted to know how but why. That answer Bilbo could give him and it was about the time to look him in the eye and tell him the truth. They travelled for weeks now one beside other, it was silly to pretend other one isn't there. So Bilbo looked him straight in the eye and admitted that he's homesick. He had a lot to miss, his books, garden, but they didn't have that luxury themselves and they were robbed of it. It was downright unfair and Bilbo didn't like it.
"And that's why I came back, cause you don't have one. A home. It was taken from you." As he said those words, as he admitted their loss, Bilbo could see how the steel withdraws from Thorin eyes and he looked at Bilbo without sting of disdain or anger. Bilbo felt like there was a pressure releasing somewhere inside of him. He hadn't realized that Thorin's disdain bothered him so deeply.
Thorin looked down when he stopped talking hiding his eyes and Bilbo looked away squirming a bit from discomfort. It wasn't easy just to expose himself like that in front of everybody.
He looked around at dwarves that seemed hopeful thinking how he grew fond of them when everything became frantic again.
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