Chapter 1

Years had passed and the love of Katherine for her husband had not once faltered. Every breath she took and every beat of her heart was for him. By now she had been pregnant 7 times but sadly only one of her children survived. Mary was their miracle, though Henry still wanted a male heir, Katherine was sure that their daughter was meant to do extraordinary things. She was 9 years old now and Katherine absolutely adored her.

The queen of England was running after her little girl, past the pond, into the maze. She chased her daughter everywhere, the adorable giggles of the little princess were enough to make her laugh herself. She caught her and embraced her tightly 'mommy caught you my princess' she covered Mary's face in kisses and ignored the girls "protests". 'Mommy!' she giggled, 'stop!' Katherine chuckled 'and why would I do that my love?' Mary was about to answer when Wolsey walked up to them.

Katherine sighed lightly and put Mary down 'Go with your governess now love' she turned towards the cardinal. 'To what do I owe this pleasure?' She asked, kindly as always. Wolsey admired this woman, though he would never admit that 'His majesty's ambassador in Rome has been stabbed to death by the French.' Katherine immediately wanted to see her husband at this news. Her husband had been close to the man and she wanted to be there for him, but he probably would be with some harlot, she thought bitter. 'How did his majesty respond to the news?' She asked. Wolsey hesitated 'He wants to declare war to France.'

If she was honest to herself, Katherine thought that was a good idea, her family was France's traditional enemy after all. She saw that Wolsey wanted to say something but that he kept himself from doing so. She quirked her eyebrow 'Is there anything you want to say your grace?' The cardinal sighed 'I was hoping you might want to tell him that's not a good idea'. At this Katherine could barely hide her surprise 'And why would I do that?' Wolsey didn't really know how to reply to this 'Will you at least consider speaking to him about it?' Oh she would most definitely talk to Henry about this, only she would advise him not to listen to Wolsey. Everyone knew Wolsey always sided with the French anyway. 'I will speak to him about it' she said and bowed her head lightly, showing that their conversation was over and graciously dismissing him.

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At dinner she saw Henry again. She thought he looked handsome, but she always thought he did. Their conversation started with his usual questions about Mary 'How is Mary?' He asked like always and like always she answered with a smile 'She is fine, you will be proud' He smiled back at her 'I am proud of her, you must believe me if I say she's the most important thing in my life' To hear this warmed her heart, Mary and Henry were the most important persons in her life and that would never change.

For a moment they ate in silence but then Katherine spoke 'Wolsey told me what happened. I'm sorry for you Henry'. Henry hummed and Katherine continued 'He also told me that you want to declare war to France? He probably advised you against that.' She put a piece of meat in her mouth and waited for his answer 'He did' Henry said and Katherine inwardly rolled her eyes. That man was so predictable 'I think you should do it.' Henry frowned as he looked at her but nevertheless she continued 'Spain would support you and you can't let France get away with murder unpunished.'

She hoped she hadn't crossed a line, especially since she suspected that her husband didn't exactly like her nephew. 'Are you an ambassador now?' Henry pulled up his eyebrows and Katherine smiled lightly 'Well… I am my mother's daughter after all…'. Henry grabbed her wrist and she swallowed, her face dropping lightly. 'You are my wife, not one of my ambassadors' he said and only after Katherine nodded he let go of her wrist.

The rest of their meal was continued in silence and Katherine spent most of the time trying to ignore the gazes between Henry and one of her ladies. After all she knew he always tired of them but the bond she had with him was forever. When he got up to retire though, Katherine reached for his arm. 'Will you visit me tonight?' She asked but Henry didn't reply, he left the room without a word.

Katherine looked at her hands that were folded in her lap and she wondered what she did wrong. Why didn't he love her anymore like he used to? And how could she get him to pay attention to her again? She honestly didn't have any answers to this. She got up and walked to her bedchambers.

She let her ladies undress her in silence and waited in her shift until they brought her nightgown. 'This one or this one your majesty,' her lady held two nightgowns in her hands. One simple and another a bit more refined, she had made that one for Henry… She swallowed and pointed to the simple one 'That one please Jane' Her lady nodded and helped her in the gown. After that she helped her in a nightgown and Katherine went to her chapel for prayers.

She knelt down on the cold, stone floor and folded her hands. As always she prayed for her husband, her daughter and for a son. She shivered at the cool air in the chapel but nevertheless continued her prayers. She loved sitting in the chapel, it gave her time for herself. She wasn't always necessarily praying, sometimes she just sat there to think. The silence was familiar to her and she loved the feeling she had in chapels, cathedrals and churches. They always made her feel so humble, so small, they reminded her that she was lucky and that she was only a small part of something so much bigger. They also reminded her of home. Of course she had learned to embrace England but she missed Castile and Aragon. Maybe she just missed not feeling like an outsider, she missed having friends, she missed her family and she missed being surrounded by people she could trust. The person she missed most was her mother, but Isabella had died years ago. She loved England just as much as England loved her though.

For a long time she just sat there, in the middle of the chapel, praying and thinking. Then she kissed the stone floor and stood up. She walked back to her rooms and wasn't surprised to see that Henry wasn't there but it still hurt her. She sighed lightly and tried to stop her disappointment. How she wished she just could forget him. She would be happier if she could stop loving him but a heart is a treacherous thing. 'The king came to see you while you were at prayers' said her lady and Katherine's hearts fluttered. She shouldn't hope but she still did. 'I will go and see him now then.' She said but her lady gave her a worried look 'Milady… are you sure that's a good idea?'. She smiled affectionately at her favorite lady 'Why wouldn't it be?'. Both of them knew why it wouldn't but Jane let her mistress leave without a further word.

She wanted to knock on her husband's door but his guard gently stepped in front of her 'Your majesty… the king is busy right now'. She was about to ask with what when she heard a girlish giggle, followed by a moan. She swallowed 'I see' she backed away and rushed back to her room. Once she was there she dismissed all her ladies and sat down in front of the fireplace and let the tears escape.

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The next morning Katherine sat down at the breakfast table and pretended nothing was wrong, if only for Mary's sake. She smiled at her little girl who was telling her about a dream she had had that night 'I was flying mother!' Mary said and smiled brightly 'Were you love? That is a very special dream!'. Marry nodded but suddenly her face lighted up even more than before and Katherine turned to see what made her so happy. She was surprised to see Henry, he never joined them for breakfast. Mary flung herself in her father's arms 'Mind your manners Mary' Katherine said but Henry lifted the young princess 'I don't mind' he said. Katherine turned back to the table and waited until he was seated. Henry leaned towards her to kiss her forehead but she didn't let him.

He pulled up his eyebrows and sat down on a chair opposite to hers. She ignored him and looked anywhere but to him. The king of England quirked his eyebrows, what had gotten into his wife, he wondered. He looked at Katherine intently, studying her 'What is it with you this morning? Is it your time of the month?' he asked. Katherine couldn't believe her ears, was he serious? Agitated she looked at him 'What is it with me?! I am done with the constant humiliation you put me through and I'm done with my love being taken for granted!' Where this was suddenly coming from, that was a riddle for Henry 'What do you mean Katherine?' he gave her a questioning look. 'You know fully well what I mean! I visited your room last night!' Katherine got up and almost caused her chair to topple over 'This is not a conversation we should be having in front of Mary.'. She started leaving the room 'Why are you turning your back on me Katherine?' Henry asked and Katherine turned on her heels 'Excuse me husband but I'm going to get ready for today's festivities' She didn't wait for his answer, she just left.

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She knew who had been Henry's toy the past few years, Mary Boleyn. It was sure that he was slowly tiring of her but to make matters worse, Anne Boleyn was arriving back at court and rumour had it that she was even more beautiful than her sister. Katherine wanted to look good. She knew she shouldn't have vanity but she couldn't help it. She was sick of losing her husband and the only thing she could try right now was looking good enough so that she'd hold his attention. She looked herself up and down in the mirror. Her hair was curled and half pinned up on her head, she wore a flower crown and small earrings. Her crown matched the red dress she wore. She sighed lightly but decided that she looked fine.

The ballroom was packed with people and most eyes were on Anne Boleyn. Katherine sat on a chair in front of the fireplace next to her husband. She watched him close as he stared at the new lady at court. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Eustace Chapuys, the new ambassador of her nephew, coming closer to her. He bowed and took her hand, kissing it politely. 'Your majesty' he smiled and Katherine couldn't help but give him a warm smile in return. Something about Eustace made her feel comfortable. The orchestra started playing a Spanish song and Chapuys extended his hand 'I asked them to play something Spanish. Can I have this dance your majesty?'. Katherine hesitated, the last person she danced with was her husband. After a while she gently slipped her hand in his. He led her to the dancefloor and she immediately was able to follow the stream of the dancers. She lost herself completely in the music. Spanish music had something magic, the merry tones were mysterious and enchanting. With her flower crown, so lost in the music, she seemed like a nymph. Chapuys said something that made her laugh and the beautiful sound of her laugh filled the room. Her happiness seemed to make the room glow and the people even more happy.

Unknown by Katherine, Henry's look had shifted to her. The sound of her laugh made him happy and envious at the same time. He envied Chapuys because he couldn't make Katherine laugh like that anymore and he was happy because her laugh was a divine sound that he'd want to lock somewhere to hear it whenever he wanted to. Henry got up himself and started to dance with the lady Boleyn. He smiled at the beauty of this girl. She would be a good catch, he thought. As the dancing continued, Henry and Katherine suddenly found themselves in front of each other. Katherine tried to ignore how close he was even though she actually only wanted to pull him even closer. Her skin tingled where he touched her and Katherine swallowed. As soon as she could she left the dance floor. Henry followed her 'Katherine, where are you going? You don't mind dancing with another man but with me you can't flee soon enough.' Katherine shook her head and rubbed her temples 'I'm tired', she curtsied. She was tired indeed, tired of trying to keep him close but to ignore how much he hurt her every day again. 'May I retire?' She asked and Henry gave a brief nod before he walked off again. Katherine watched him walk away, straight to Anne Boleyn.

The way he looked at the dark-haired woman made her shiver, she remembered them all too well. It was the look he used to give her when they were younger and she hadn't failed him yet. She sighed and turned to walk to her chambers. She hurried through the halls and quickly shut the door behind her. She sat down at her vanity and looked in the mirror. Tears welled up in her eyes and she watched them roll down her cheeks. She had given Henry her heart but he kept breaking it into more and more pieces. She feared he'd kill her one day. Somehow she had the terrible feeling that Anne wouldn't be just another one of his toys. She feared she'd loose Henry and that terrified her to the core.

For some reason Anne Boleyn didn't seem that interested in Henry. No matter what he tried she stayed all sweet and polite but she didn't throw herself at him like the other girls mostly did. It enchanted him, made him want her even more. As the night came to an end, Henry laid awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling. In his mind he went through all the things he could do to win her heart. One thing was sure though, he was not planning on giving up. He needed Anne and he was going to get her too.