Chapter 5: The Kiss of Death

James hesitated, his mouth a fraction of an inch above Lily's, and her lips curved into a hesitant smile as she tilted her face up to close the distance between them. She made a soft, satisfied sound as their lips met, and she snaked her arms around his shoulders. One of James' hands stayed on her cheek, but the other moved to her waist and pulled her even more firmly against him.

He meant to keep the kiss soft, gentle. But Lily grazed his bottom lip with her teeth and her tongue dipped into his mouth, first tentatively, almost a question, then more firmly when his lips parted eagerly, inviting her in. Their teeth clacked together as she deepened the kiss, and she tangled her fingers in his hair.

James loved that. With a slight growl, he picked her up and set her on the kitchen counter. Her skirt rode up, exposing her thighs, and she giggled into his mouth.

He broke the kiss for a moment, brushing his lips across her cheek, then her eyelid. His breath came in a pant as he asked, "Are you sure we should be doing this?"

Lily looked puzzled for a second, then she smiled. "You're not doing anything I don't want you to do," she assured him. "And I'd tell you if you were."

James grinned. "All right, then." He resumed kissing her, but now it was soft, wet, open-mouthed kisses along her jawline. She hummed softly, eyes closed, and arched into him with a motion like a cat stretching. Her hands slipped under the hem of James' shirt, and a shudder of pleasure ripped through him.

"Damn, I want you," he groaned, lips against her ear. He slid his hands up her thighs and squeezed gently. They were as thick and firm as he'd hoped, and he wanted – no, needed – them wrapped around his waist.

"I want you, too," Lily whispered. "So bad. It's crazy." She brushed her lips against his cheek, then began tracing a path over his jaw and down his neck.

James sighed and slid his hands farther under her skirt, his fingers brushing the edge of her panties. He let his thumbs rest at the crease between her thighs and her hips and took a deep breath, trying to slow himself down. "Is this okay?"

"Mmhmm," Lily murmured, still pressing kisses against his throat.

He wrapped his hands around her thighs and dragged her to the edge of the counter, spreading her legs and settling himself solidly between them. Lily whimpered. "Still okay?" he muttered.

"Yeah," she said breathlessly. "God, I've never done anything like this."

"Like what?" James said thickly. He kissed her desperately and rocked his hips against her, eliciting another soft moan. And then.

And. THEN.

He uttered possibly the stupidest words he'd uttered in his adult life:

"Cheat on your man on his kitchen counter?"

In the giddiness of the moment, Lily nearly laughed. "No, I—"

He felt the exact moment she processed what he'd said, because she froze under his hands. "Wait, what?" she gasped. She shoved him away from her hard, both hands flat against his chest. "You think—I'm not with Remus, you jackass! Are you insane?"

James hadn't thought so, but now he wasn't so sure.

"Well, nah, I just—you're not?" he stuttered. His hands were still hovering in the air, reaching towards Lily as if pulled by invisible strings. "I thought you—"

"You thought I was throwing myself at you in my boyfriend's kitchen. You thought I have no respect for my relationship, so why should you?" She hopped off the counter, tugging her skirt back into place, then jabbed an angry finger in his direction. "You thought I was the kind of girl who would let some guy she just met dry hump her on the counter while her boyfriend steps out to get wine!"

"No, I—" James' voice faltered.

He wanted to explain, to tell her that he didn't know what to think, that nothing about her had made sense to him from the moment he'd seen her crawling deeper into her burning apartment. That all he knew was that she'd felt perfect in his arms, and he might want to hold her forever. That he wanted to kiss her and touch her, yes, but also to get to know her, and how to make her smile. That he'd been basically devastated by the idea that she was with Remus. That when she kissed him anyway it was like a dream come true. That she was as much of a fantasy to him as she'd said he was to her.

He wanted to tell her so many things.

But he stood there, fumbling for the right words, and Lily took his silence as confirmation of the worst. She threw her head back, clenched her fists, and screamed her frustration at the ceiling.

"I'm such an idiot! Here I am, thinking we're having a moment, telling you my whole damn life story, and you're just over there thinking, 'Hmm, that one looks easy.' I bet you loved when I said I've been feeling helpless without you! Perfect opportunity for you, right?" She shook her head, her eyes meeting his for barely a second before she looked away. "I trusted you."

He heard the change in her tone, the unspoken implication behind her last sentence. He felt his heart seize with panic, the pain in his chest mirroring that on Lily's face.

He had to fix it. "No, no, no, Lily, it's not like that at all!" He reached for her again, his movements clumsy and desperate. "I wasn't tryna take advantage of you, I would never do that! And I don't think you're easy. I really like you."

Lily dodged his flailing hands, her arms wrapped tight around her waist like she was literally holding herself together. "Then why'd you wait 'til I was crying to make a move? And why would you kiss me if you thought I had a boyfriend? What were you expecting to get out of this?" She glared at him and huffed out a breath. "Maybe you like me, whatever that means. But you clearly don't respect me."

"No, no, listen—" James heard a key turn in the front door of the apartment, heard Remus' and Sirius' laughter as they entered, and he knew he was running out of time. "Lily, I'm so sorry. Please let me explain."

She turned and stormed from the kitchen without another word.

James hurried after her and saw that she was grabbing his coat off the back of Remus' couch. Jaw clenched, those heart-shaped lips pressed into a hard line, she marched past Remus and Sirius to the door they'd just shut and opened it again. Sirius, who had been shrugging out of his own jacket, watched her in confusion.

"James has to go now," Lily said evenly, but James could see that her hands were shaking.

Remus stared at her for a moment, then tilted his head and narrowed his eyes in James' direction.

He looks stupid, James thought irritably. Remus was wearing a beanie and at least two scarves and fingerless gloves, which James assumed was some sort of fashion thing, but what's even the point? Plus, he was tall, but very slim, sort of wiry, maybe, and pale. Like, consumptively pale. Not at all intimidating.

At least, that's what James told himself. And yet…in that moment, Remus' gaze was that of a predator sizing up his prey. Like he was considering just how much force it would take to snap James' neck, should he need to do so.

Instinctively, James squared his shoulders.

But just as quickly as the look had appeared on Remus' face, it was gone. He turned to Sirius with a tight-lipped smile. "You should go, too."

"Yeah," Sirius said, wincing. "We'll talk soon, though, right?"

"Right," Remus said curtly. He turned his glare back to James and folded his arms over his chest.

"Hold up. Lily, please, can I talk to you?" James asked, ignoring Remus. He sounded like he was begging, but he didn't care. He reached for Lily's hand.

She jerked away from him and shook her head mutely, her eyes shining. The realization that she was holding back tears hit James like a punch to the gut. "Thanks again for saving my life," she finally said. She shoved his jacket into his still outstretched hands. "Now goodbye."

...

AN: Manufactured drama, as promised! I worked hard to make it fit this story, so I hope it works. Thanks to everyone who's reading at reviewing, your comments fuel my spirit! Comments, questions, emojis, keyboard smashes, I love it all. xo