AN: Sorry for the longer wait! We're almost to the finish line :-) This chapter's got a bit more swearing than others, and James is sooooo New York, which I know is not everyone's jam, but it's mine. Enjoy!

...

Chapter 6: Picking up the Pieces

As soon as the door shut behind their visitors, Remus turned his glare on Lily. "Okay. What did he do?"

She burst into tears, and Remus immediately wrapped her in a hug. But that only reminded her of crying against James' chest not twenty minutes ago. She jerked away and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"He kissed me." She avoided Remus' eyes, hoping to hide her hurt and confusion. How did something that started so sweet go so wrong?

Remus bent down to see her face, but he didn't touch her again. "Against your will?" He forced the quiet words through clenched teeth, and Lily could tell he was clinging to control for her sake.

"No!" She shook her head, remembering how careful James had been to make sure she was okay with everything they did. "It wasn't like that. He's not like that."

"Well, I don't know what he's like, do I?" Remus snorted, his brow furrowed and his usually bright eyes dark. "What I know is, he saved your life, and you became mildly obsessed with him. But not ten minutes alone with him, and you're crying and tossing him out. That's what I know. So. What. Happened?"

Lily shrugged one shoulder, the casual movement a mask for her pain. "He called me an amoral slut."

Remus' barely-caged control broke free with a roar. "He did what?" He lurched towards Lily, his body poised like he was prepared to go hunt for James right then, if she gave the word.

She lifted her hands to calm him. "I mean, he didn't say that," she hedged. "We were making out, and it was so hot. But then he accused me of cheating on you."

"Cheating on me?" Remus blinked. Then he groaned, his shoulders sagging. "Oh, no. What an absolute donkey."

"Yeah." Lily looked at the floor, again trying to hide her conflicting emotions. "And it just made me feel—I dunno. Cheap. Like he doesn't respect me." She lifted her chin. "Plus, you know I would never do that to someone I was with."

"Of course you wouldn't." Remus sighed. "He's a bloody idiot. But…I don't think meant to insult you, really. He was just confused."

"In what world is that not insulting?" Lily demanded. She pointed an accusatory finger at Remus and added, "And what did you say to him while I was on the phone? I thought you'd finish telling him the story of how we met, but obviously not."

"We were too busy lecturing him on his poor taste in movies!" Remus looked apologetic. "I'm so sorry, love. I knew you were interested, and he seemed so enamored, I just thought you two might enjoy a minute to yourselves. I didn't think he'd be so thick as to—"

"Question my morals and try to screw me at the same time? Not your fault," she muttered, somewhat calmed by Remus' sincerity. She sighed. "I should've known someone so beautiful had to be a dickhead."

Remus chuckled, but his expression was sheepish. "Right. Well, speaking of beautiful, I guess I should tell you now—" he winced before blurting out, "—I've got a date with Sirius."

...

"You're going out with Remus?" James threw his head back and groaned. "Bruh, what the fuck? It woulda been mad useful to know he was gay, like, twenty minutes ago."

"He's not gay, he's bi," Sirius corrected. "He and Lily did go on a date a couple years ago, but they decided they're better as friends. No sexual chemistry."

James grunted. "So they used to…" he trailed off. He had no right to be jealous. Besides – obsessing over Lily's relationship with Remus is what had gotten him in this mess in the first place.

Still, Sirius answered James' unasked question. "Nah, I got the impression it never even made it that far," he said. "Sounds like they spent their date talking about their cats. And desserts. Remus is big on dessert."

"Dammit." James wanted to know if Lily was big on dessert. He wished they could just go back to the moment when she'd been in his arms, opening up to him about her family. He'd kiss her tears away, and he wouldn't screw it up this time.

"Yeah, man, you blew it," Sirius said, once again reading James' thoughts. "I just hope Remus doesn't hold your stupidity against me." His handsome face twisted in confusion. "The hell is your problem, anyway? You've been talking about this girl non-stop for a week, and then when you're finally with her, you're too much of a punk to just ask her what's up?"

"I dunno what happened!" James tugged his hair in frustration. "I think I panicked. Shit got too real."

Sirius shook his head. "Insecurity is not a good look on you, man."

"Facts." James kicked at some trash on the sidewalk. Then he perked up. "You'll talk to Remus for me, right? Maybe he can get her to give me another chance."

"I'll try, but I'm not gonna sabotage my thing for you," Sirius warned. "I haven't been this interested in a guy in a long time."

James blew out a defeated breath. "I know the feeling."

...

With school finished for the semester, Lily took as many shifts as possible at the bar. She also took a part-time job at a department store, just for the holiday season, to help build her savings. She needed the extra cash if she was going to move out of Remus' after the new year. It was time to get back on her own two feet.

Unfortunately, three days before Christmas, she was literally flat on her back, having woken up with a vicious head cold that kept her confined to her bed – futon, really – in Remus' guest room.

She was lying there, her head feeling like a balloon ready to burst from the pressure, when Remus entered the closet-sized room bearing two cups of tea. He sat down by her feet with a reproachful look on his face. "I told you you needed to slow down."

"And I told you I couldn't," Lily snapped back, her stubborn tone comical through her stopped-up nose. "I can't live here forever, I need to find my own place."

"You know you can stay as long as you need. And you won't be going anywhere if you run yourself into the ground in the meantime."

Lily's lower lip jutted out, childishly defiant, and Remus laughed. "Anyway," he said, handing her a mug, "I don't believe you're working yourself to death so you can move out. At least, not only that." He gave her a pointed look. "You're trying not to think about James."

"No." Lily shook her head so emphatically that she sloshed tea over the edge of her cup. But she refused to meet Remus' eye. "It's not that at all. That was just another shitty moment in a shitty couple of weeks. I'm over it."

Remus raised his eyebrows skeptically, but the smile he gave Lily was sympathetic. "I doubt that, love. And from what I hear, he's not over it, either."

...

"You either gotta do something about it or get over it, man," Sirius said, his eyes challenging James from across the table. "You're boring when you're like this."

Mrs. Potter stopped in the midst of serving James some red beans and rice and looked at him with concern. "Do something about what, mijo?"

"Yes, do tell. We can't have Sirius bored," Mr. Potter said, giving Sirius a sly smirk as he cut into his roast chicken.

He and Sirius laughed, but James rolled his eyes.

"I'm fine, Mami," he said, ignoring his father and surrogate brother. He gave her a half-smile and hoped he sounded convincing.

Sirius wouldn't let it go so easily. "Uh-uh," he said, tone child-like, grin widening when James scowled at him. "Ma, there's this girl he likes. He calls her la leona. And he's been moping for days 'cause she won't talk to him."

"Oh, no," Mrs. Potter murmured. "What did you do to this young lady, amor?"

"Why'd you think I did somethin'?" James demanded. "It could be her fault."

As soon as the words were out, a wave of guilt crashed over him. He shoveled some beans into his mouth and avoided his mother's eyes.

Sirius made a disapproving sound. "Bro, you know this is on you."

"Snitch," James muttered. But he knew Sirius was right.

So, with a heavy sigh, James told his parents about the beautiful, brave girl he'd recused from an apartment fire, how he couldn't get her out of his mind, and how he'd blown his chance for something more by insulting her the minute they were alone together.

"Okay," Mrs. Potter said slowly, after he'd given her the highlights – and lowlights – of the story. "So how are you going to fix it?"

"I dunno, Mami. I told her I was sorry!" James didn't mean to whine, but his mother's tone brought out his more childish tendencies. "She didn't want to hear it."

"Well, it's going to take more than a simple apology, of course," Mrs. Potter said, frowning at him. "You're going to have to make a real effort."

"Cook her her favorite meal," Mr. Potter suggested. "That's what I used to do for Euphemia when I was in the dog house. Shows you've been paying attention, right Phemie?"

Mrs. Potter gave her husband an affectionate smile, but James continued pouting. "I don't know her favorite meal!" he said. "I barely know her at all."

To his surprise, his mother's lips curved into a smirk. "Oh, come on," she scoffed, her eyes alight with her smile. "As much as you've told me about her in just five minutes, I think you know her well enough. The question is, are you going to put in the effort or not?"

...

Lily and Remus were on the couch watching The Great British Baking Show when they heard a knock on the apartment door.

Lily glanced up in surprise. "Are you expecting anyone?"

"Might be." Remus shrugged, but his lips twitched with a suppressed smile. "Why don't you go have a look?"

There weren't that many people they both knew, and even fewer who knew Lily was staying with Remus. She pursed her lips in suspicion. "Okay…" she murmured. She walked over to the door and cracked it open with the chain still on.

"Yes?" she started to ask, but the word faded, replaced by a shriek of delight, as she recognized their guest.

"Mary!" Lily pulled the chain from the door and flung it wide, then threw her arms around her former college roommate.

"Surprise!" Mary Macdonald drawled, beaming. "It just doesn't feel like the holidays if I don't get to see you!"

It was true – for several years now, Lily had joined the Macdonalds in Texas for the holidays, a tradition that began the moment Mary learned that Lily and Petunia weren't close. But given the events of the last two weeks, Lily had spent Christmas with Remus this year, eating pie, watching Home Alone, and staging Instagram photos of the cats playing with holiday decorations.

It had been lovely, if a little lonelier than Lily had expected.

She fought back happy tears as she led Mary into the living room. "You're so sweet," she said thickly. "I can't believe you're here!"

"Yeah, well, you said you're fine, but I've known you for eight years. Something's up. So I texted Remus a few days ago and told him I was coming to see you." She placed a bottle of wine on the coffee table and commanded, with that steely charm some southerners manage so well, "Now tell mama what's going on."

Lily chuckled. "Let's open the wine first."

Mary's expression jumped from worried to gleeful to horrified as Lily relayed the story of her fairytale prince-turned-ogre. "Wow," she said, as Lily finished talking. "What a fool."

"Right?" Lily took a gulp of wine and rolled her eyes. "A super-hot guy saves my life and I, like, decide we're meant to be together. And of course he turns out to be a dick. I'm ridiculous."

Mary snorted. "Obviously, I didn't mean you're the fool, Lil. He is."

"Maybe." Lily shrugged. "But I should know better by now than to believe in fantasies."

Instead of the sympathy Lily expected, Mary slapped a hand to her own forehead. "Ohhh," she said, with far too much understanding for Lily's liking, "is that what this is about?"

"Told you," Remus sang, tilting his wine glass in Mary's direction.

His tone was even worse than Mary's. Lily narrowed her eyes. "Told her what?"

Mary took Lily's glass and set it on the coffee table, then took Lily's hands in hers. "Don't get me wrong, Lil, James was an asshole. But you shouldn't take this experience as proof you're meant to be alone."

Lily took a deep breath, preparing to deny she was doing any such thing. But she couldn't.

"Why wouldn't I, though?" she said instead. Her voice was strong, but her eyes watered. "I broke my pattern, followed my heart instead of my head, and look what happened. Maybe it's because of the fire that I wanted to believe there was some deep connection here, but there isn't. I'm alone, just like I've been since I was a kid."

"Oh, Lily," Mary said, and she sounded like her own heart was breaking. "You're not alone. Remus and I will always be there for you. And there are tons of other people who would love you, if you'd let them."

"And I don't think you imagined a connection with James," Remus added. "I know it's easier to think he was looking for a quick shag, but—"

"But what?" Lily snapped, angry at herself for being near tears. "Sirius says it wasn't like that?"

"This isn't about Sirius," Remus said firmly. "It's about how James chose to visit you at the hospital. How James took care of Buttercup like she was his own. And how James spent dinner looking at you like you're a bloody miracle."

Mary grinned. "He seems so impressed with you," she said, squeezing Lily's hand again. "He even gave you a nickname!"

A flush crept up Lily's cheeks. "That doesn't mean anything," she mumbled, but her protest was weak.

"It might, it might not," Mary conceded, shrugging. "But don't you want to find out?"

Lily felt something flutter in her chest.

Anxiety, mostly. But desire and longing, too.

Those feelings had only ever led her to heartache. She snorted, as if she could expel the emotions along with her breath.

"I'll think about it," she said finally. "But I'm not going to get my hopes up."

...

Lying in bed that evening, James felt a spark of hope thinking about his mother's words.

He was willing to put in the effort to make things right. And he did know plenty of things about Lily.

She was witty and beautiful and athletic. She liked him in glasses, and it seemed fair to call her a danger to herself and others in the kitchen. Her friends were her family – just like Sirius – and she'd protect her cat with her life. Literally.

She had darkness in her past, more than James could even imagine. She didn't trust easily. And yet, James had won her trust – and then promptly betrayed it.

He knew her sister's accusation that she was selfish haunted her, and he had basically cosigned it.

His hope faded.

He felt like shit.

James scrubbed one hand over his face, as if to wipe the feelings away, and with the other hand groped blindly for his phone. His flailing succeeded only in knocking over a glass of water on his bedside table.

"Dammit," he muttered, turning on a lamp to assess the damage.

The glass hadn't broken, but a small red envelope had fallen to the floor, its edges stained by the spreading puddle.

The dinner invitation from Lily.

He felt a rush of panic as he scrambled to pick it up, hoping the water hadn't seeped through the envelope to the card inside. Maybe it was silly, but the little handwritten note was important to him, because it was a piece of her. And he wasn't sure she'd ever willingly share a piece of herself with him again.

And just like that, James realized what he needed to do.

The next day, armed with a stack of blank Christmas cards from the clearance section of the nearest Walgreens, James sat down in front of his T.V. He had a movie to watch and a letter to write.