Chapter Six: You Can't Always Get What You Want
EPOV
She makes it weird.
I guess we make it through the rest of dinner easily enough. Conversation does slow slightly, but I don't see a reason to be worried. I must miss the signs because, when she leaves my house, I don't see or hear from her for days. It's not for lack of trying, mind you. She just doesn't reply, and I can't be sure I blame her. I don't know how I would react if it were the other way around.
I give Jane an earful, but she's convinced that she did me a favor. I can't imagine anything being more complicated than girls. I can't. Like, seriously... do they live for creating unnecessary drama?
I am, however, forced to push that all aside as I get ready for my trip to California for the USA Swimming Championships. Despite my placement on Team USA for the Youth Olympic Games, I still have to perform if I'm going to remain in contention for further selection beyond the Games.
I travel with Esme and the boys, as opposed to my Club. Kevin's a little miffed about it, but there's nothing he can do.
Esme and my father flipped a coin on who's going where this August. They can't leave the firm at the same time, so Esme's here with me now, and my father will accompany me to Singapore. It's not lost on me that they won't be together for their wedding anniversary, but my father says he'll make it up to her another time. Work would have prohibited a celebration anyway.
I pretend I believe him.
As far as the swimming goes, I do well. For a sixteen-year-old, that is. I make the semi-finals of two events, which is mind-blowing, seeing as I'm swimming against some of my heroes. Seriously. It's unreal.
I narrowly miss out on the first final, but make it into the 200 m backstroke final, which Kevin believes is going to be my ticket to the big leagues. I'm the youngest swimmer of the eight, and it's a little daunting.
I kind of wish Bella was talking to me.
Esme tries, but it's not the same. She's my parent; so it's kind of expected that she be supportive. No, that's not true. Esme's here because she wants to be. I didn't ask her to be here, but she is. She chose it, just like my biological mother chose not to.
She's encouraging and understanding, and I think I surprise us both when I hug her before I head for the penultimate race. I wonder if I would have done it if Bella and I were talking. I like to think yes, but I can't be too sure. Maybe this break is what we need; what I need. To get over the feelings.
It's nothing intense. I can handle it, so I don't really understand why she's making such a big deal about it.
I don't place in my final, but I do come in fifth, clocking a personal best and breaking the Championship's Junior Record. All in all, it's a good day at the office.
I get toasted by Kevin, and Esme squeezes the life out of me. Things have been a little strange between us since Bella found out that we're not actually blood-related, but I'm really glad she's here. I needed my mom.
And she's here.
I travel back with Esme and the boys, and the post-championship glow disappears almost immediately when I remember Bella still isn't talking to me and it's damn annoying. Like, I mean, I didn't actually do anything wrong. Did I? It's not my fault I started to like her, and it's not my fault she even found out. Why is she taking it out on me?
On Monday, I return to training.
On Tuesday, I drive by Bella's house.
On Wednesday, I go shopping for the essentials.
And, on Thursday, I finish packing. I'm flying out in the evening.
It's also the day that Bella decides to show up at my house. I'm in my room, finalizing my packing when I hear her voice for the first time in just under two weeks. I almost forgot what it sounds like.
"Hi," she says, standing in my doorway and looking oddly sheepish.
"Hi back," I say, my body automatically turning to face her. I've missed her, though I won't say so.
She does, though. "I missed you," she says, and I take an automatic step towards her. "I'm also sorry that I've been so weird lately."
"I told you not to make it weird," I tell her.
"I know," she says with a sigh. "I couldn't help it."
I take another step forward. "It's nothing, Bella," I assure her. "I promise it's nothing. I guess I just like having a friend like you, and I'm just getting confused because of all the attention you give me, but I promise it's nothing. I'll get over it."
Her eyes don't stray from my face. "Edward?"
"It's nothing," I say again, and I mean it. "I would know if it wasn't, because then it would be a problem. But it's not. I promise it's not."
She blinks. "Okay."
"Okay."
"Okay."
I sigh. "What are you doing here, Bella?"
"Esme told me you're leaving tonight," she says, as she steps into the room. "I asked if Felix could pick me up because I needed to see you before you left."
I just nod. What am I supposed to say? Maybe I should be more alarmed by the fact that she and Esme actually talk, but my mind tries to ignore it.
"How are you feeling?" she asks.
"Confused," I reply.
She smiles gently. "No nerves?"
"No," I say. Then: "Okay, maybe a little."
She steps towards me again, and again, until she's walking right into my waiting arms. It's the first time I remember us actually hugging, and I wrap my arms around her and don't let go.
It doesn't help with the feelings I'm trying to suppress. Not really. But I'm not complaining. How can I?
She releases me first. "You look very handsome, by the way," she says, eyeing my USA tracksuit. "The ladies are going to eat you alive."
I don't reply.
"I brought you something."
"A present?"
"Sort of, yes," she says, stepping back and digging in the pocket of her jeans. "It's nothing special."
"It's from you, so it must be," I say.
She's grinning when she hands me a keychain. It's rectangular-shaped, ocean blue in color, and says 'Nemo' in bright-orange block letters.
I laugh. "This is amazing. Thank you."
"Do you even have keys?" she asks, because she knows that my car is keyless.
"I'll find keys, if needs be," I tell her. "Or I'll use it on my locker key next year."
"Don't we use combinations?"
"We'll be juniors, Bella," I remind her. "The junior lockers use keys."
"I don't know anything about our school," she says. "Like, really, nothing. It's just a place I go to every day, and try not to get hit in the face during Phys. Ed."
I laugh, but it tapers off really quickly.
She sighs heavily, recognizing my hesitance. "Edward, are we okay?" she asks.
"I don't know, Bella," I say; "are we?"
She takes a deep breath. "Look, I'll just see you when you get back, okay?" she says. "I wanted to say good luck, and that I'll be pulling for you."
I nod.
"I want you to know that you're very important to me, Edward," she continues. "I don't want anything to be weird between us."
"That's up to you, Bella," I tell her. "It's just a thing that is, and it'll go away if it hasn't already."
She looks like she wants to say something; something she'll probably regret, but she doesn't say anything at all.
I almost want her to.
"I'll see you when I get back," I say, though it comes out as more of a question, with an inflection at the end.
"Of course, you will," she says, and I get another hug out of it. Maybe she's been as lost as I've been these past two weeks because she holds on for longer than normal. Maybe something happened in these past two weeks; something she hasn't been able to tell me because she made it weird. There;s something on the tip of her tongue, I can tell, but she's probably holding it back until after I get back.
"When do you leave for Ohio?" I ask her.
"Sunday," she says, her breath warm against my neck, and it sends a shiver straight down my spine.
"Are you looking forward to it?" I ask, and I feel her shiver in my arms.
"I can't wait to see my family, but the actual going back to Ohio part is a little daunting," she admits. "It's doubtful the people have forgotten why we left in the first place."
I don't remind her that I still don't know what she's talking about. It seems to be a big deal for her so I won't push. I also don't release her. That is something I definitely don't want to do.
Really, if I had my way, I would hold on to her for as long as possible.
For forever.
Jesus.
It's the sound of running feet that eventually forces us to let go, and I step back, blushing like mad. Maybe I do need to leave the country to get over all of this.
Peter appears in my bedroom doorway. "Daddy says it's time to go," he says.
"Sure," I say; "we'll be right down."
When he's gone, I finish up with my suitcase, zip it up, and then take it off my bed.
"That's quite a small bag," she says, eyeing my luggage dubiously. "Does everything fit in there?"
"Pretty much," I tell her, suddenly wary.
"Including your Speedo?"
I glare at her. "How many times do I have to tell you that I don't wear a Speedo?"
"Oh, I see," she says. "So, you wear the tights then?"
I groan. "Shorts, Bella. They are swimming shorts."
"Oh, is that what they call them then?"
I ignore her teasing as I zip up my tracksuit top, slip my backpack onto my back, and then look at her.
"Did I mention that you look handsome?" she asks.
I blush. "Maybe."
She steps forward and touches my cheek with her right hand. "You're going to do great," she says.
"I know."
"Modest much."
"You know me so well."
Her fingers brush my cheek again, and then over my ear before she turns on her heel and leads the way out of my bedroom.
I follow in silence.
My family is waiting downstairs. It's better that Bella and I say goodbye in front of them, I reckon. She wishes me luck, bids me farewell, and then leaves. As I watch her go, I feel unexpectedly hollow, and it takes my father prompting me forward to get moving. We clamber into the car and head to the airport.
I'm traveling with the team, but my father and the boys are going to meet me in Singapore. There's quite the sending-off at the airport, with the press out to watch us leave. We are the inaugural team for the first edition of the Youth Olympic Games after all. The press is really trying to increase the coverage of the Games, but I'm not holding my breath. We'll see what happens.
There are at least fifty athletes making the trip, as well as additional coaches, trainers, physiotherapists, doctors, and all other personnel and officials.
There are four male swimmers and four female, forming two relay teams. I'm lucky, really, because Seth is here as well. We're going to be roommates, which is something he's been looking forward to since we made the cut for Team USA.
On the plane, we get a shout-out from the pilot.
Abraham Walters is in charge of the junior swimming team, and he makes sure that we're keeping hydrated. He wants us to get some sleep, but he has to know it's near impossible. I'm not the only one who's too wired; too excited about what's to come.
I don't really know the other members of the team because we come from all over the country, so we spend a while just trying to get to know each other.
There's a girl.
Out of New York City.
I'd heard of her because she's fast. Kate Kincade. Cute too. I'm looking, and it isn't lost on me that she's looking too. Maybe she likes what she sees.
I'm also not the only one who notices.
"She totally wants you," Seth says, probably loud enough for Kate to hear. She says nothing, which means that she probably does.
I guess it's something to think about. I'm here, halfway across the world, where Bella isn't. It's a good thing too, I think. I can get over whatever misplaced crush I seem to have on her, and everything can go back to the way it was before I decided to involve feelings.
Who knew catching feelings could be so detrimental?
The flight takes a lot out of me. Besides the nearly constant hydration and the attempted sleep, I'm completely exhausted by the time we touch down in Singapore. I'm just relieved I'm not the only one.
We shuffle through Customs, before we retrieve our bags and meet up with our designated country hostess, emerging from the terminal that I could have sworn had a forest. Huh? Our hostess is a petite woman with a wide smile. I don't catch her name, which is a shame, but I'm too tired to do anything about it.
We get carted into two buses and get taken to the Olympic Village, which is essentially a university campus. There are residences for athletes, and then residences for non-athletes, which makes some of the athletes smile a little too wide. No supervision.
Before we can even think about getting some sleep, we go through registration and collect our arrival packs and our identity cards, which are supposed to be on our person at all times. It will give us access to our residence, the Shuttle system, the cafeteria and the various venues.
Seth and I clamber up to our room, and I pretty much flop down on my bed face-first.
"We have a nice view," Seth says, moving to stand by the window. We're on the third floor, much like the rest of the swimmers, which does give us a neat view of the courtyard behind the building.
The room is modern and neat, themed to match the colors of the Games, which are purple and white. My bed is simple, if not comfortable. Single-sized, with white linen. I doubt we'll be spending much time other than sleeping in here anyway. Seth is an explorer, and I'm sure I'll be at the training pool more often than not.
"What's that?" Seth asks, moving towards his own bed.
I open one eye to spy him opening the residence pack propped against his pillows.
"Hmm," he sounds; "we've got maps of the competing venues, the town, and the Village. A cap, water bottle, two YOG t-shirts." He pulls one out, and it's purple. "Hey, look, it's got my name and country on the back."
I grin at him. Really, it's the little things.
"There's also a shuttle timetable," he says, his eyes drifting over to me. "Are you really tired, or are you faking it, because I want to go exploring!"
I groan. "I'm tired."
"Liar." He moves towards me and pokes my cheek. "Come on. Let's go. Don't you want to see Kate?"
My eyes fly open.
"Hah!"
"Shut up," I say, as I move to sit up. "You heard what Abe said. Rest."
"But we just got here," he presses. "Fine, we won't leave the Village, but can we at least take a look around?"
I concede because I was always going to concede. I do take out my phone first though, and text my father to find out if they've arrived safely.
I text Bella out of habit.
Let's see if she replies.
I thought I knew what a lot of people looks like, but I don't. Not at all.
The Opening Ceremony is utter chaos. There are people everywhere, and, if Seth wasn't holding on to my sleeve, I think I'd get lost in the crowd.
Abe wants us back in our rooms by ten o'clock, because the swimmers are first up in the morning heats. My first event is the 4 x 100 m Freestyle Mixed Relay, which I'm swimming with Garrett, Kate, and another girl named Carmen Fisher from Nebraska.
We call her Fish because, well, come on.
At exactly ten o'clock, Sasha Rose, another female swimmer from Florida, rounds us up and we head back to the Olympic Village. Of course, we put up a fight, but we were always going to listen. As much fun as this all this, it is a competition.
Seth practically falls into bed, but I take my time. I have a bit of a routine when it comes to racing, and I never put it off. Call me superstitious but I need all the luck I can get. I lay out my tracksuit, and my costume. I set my shoes out, and search for socks. The entire thing takes over fifteen minutes, before I feel settled enough to get ready for bed.
I have several messages that I read through once I climb into bed.
Dad: Hey, Son. We caught you on TV - Liam couldn't handle the stadium today. Esme says you looked very handsome, like your father, apparently ;) See you tomorrow. We love you!
Oh, little Liam.
Really, I'm just glad they're here at all.
I type out a quick reply, before I move on to a few from Emmett and Rose. There's also one from Bella.
Beaufort: I'm no expert, but eight events sound rather intense to me. How are you feeling? You should know that I've planned my entire life around watching you swim. I'm kind of bummed I don't get to boast about being friends with you.
I don't really know what to say, so my reply is awful and awkward. Everything is still so weird, and I don't know how to fix it. I told her I'd turn the feelings off, and I reckon I'm doing a good job of it. She doesn't have to try to help.
I don't wait for a reply, as I set my phone aside and promptly fall asleep.
The first few days of the competition fly by. On Day One, we come in fourth in the 4 × 100 m Freestyle Mixed Relay, which is particularly disappointing.
On Day Two, I take Gold in the Boys' 100 m Backstroke. I make the final of the Boys' 200 m Freestyle but don't place. My Boys' 200 m Individual Medley goes much better, and I take Silver, narrowly losing to a Chinese swimmer.
Without my backstroke to give me a significant lead, I doubt I would have placed at all. Abe and I both make a note to work on my other strokes more thoroughly when we get back to give me a better chance of placing in the future.
On Day Three, we swim the Boys' 4 × 100 m Freestyle final and come in second. Garrett swims the anchor, but it isn't enough for first place in the end.
On Day Four, our bid for Boys' 4 × 100 m Medley glory is successful, and I claim my second gold of The Games.
It calls for a celebration, really, but Abe shuts us down almost immediately, which isn't a surprise at all. The best we can come up with is probably over-indulging in the cafeteria, which is what we decide to do. I'm up for some cake or some ice-cream. Both.
There's a shuttle that can take us, but we opt to walk the short distance. We're probably too jacked up off our win, and there's a bounce in our steps. On our way there, I receive a phone call.
From Bella.
"Hello," I answer.
"Hey, you," she says, and she still sounds off, almost a week later.
I'm just glad she called, even if it's a bad time. I press the phone closer to my ear, and wave my friends on as I slow my pace to talk to her in private. I'll meet them in the cafeteria when I'm done. "How are you?" I ask.
"Better now," she says, "you?"
"Same."
"I miss you."
I glance over my shoulder out of habit before I reply. "I miss you too, Bella," I say, almost automatically. "And, really, I think I was starting to forget what your voice sounded like."
"Ouch," she says. "That's insulting."
"Just saying."
"How are things?" she asks.
"They're good," I tell her because it's the truth. They are. "It's Day Four, and we just swam the Boys' 4 x 100 m Medley Relay. We came in first."
"I saw," she says. "It was amazing."
"Thank you."
"Are you going to celebrate?"
I laugh. "I wouldn't say that, no," I tell her. "Abe would probably kill us if we stepped out of line. I'm actually on my way to dinner."
"Oh," she sounds; "do you want to talk later?"
"No," I rush to say. "I want to talk to you now."
She sighs. "It's going to get better, right?"
"What?"
"This awkwardness."
"God, I hope so."
She laughs. "So, what are you planning on having for dinner?"
I take in a breath because I have a lot to say. "The food here is amazing, Bella. Like, insanely good. The cafeteria is literally two stories, and they have everything you'd ever want. Like, everything. The choices are driving me a little crazy, if I'm being honest. They also have these little fridges set up in the corridors of the residences, and we can just pop out of our rooms to get water and energy drinks."
"The famous Gatorade?"
I sigh. "Unfortunately, no," I tell her. "I don't think it's as international as we like to think."
"It's a travesty."
I laugh, because it is. It really is.
"How's Seth?" she asks after a moment.
"Oh, he's good," I tell her. "I've always been convinced that he has a thing for Jane, but he's definitely enjoying the attention of many of the foreign girls."
"Oh my," she says. "And you?"
"There are girls," I tell her. "They're all so foreign, and they're all so very pretty."
She's quiet for a moment. "Is there a particular one you have your eye on?"
It shouldn't be so difficult to talk about this, and I realize that we're just going to have to push through it until we can get over it. "Maybe," I confess. "But, right now, I'm more focused on swimming."
Again, it takes her a moment to reply. "And you're doing well, Mister," she says. "What is it? Two Golds already!"
"I'm just lucky."
"It has nothing to do with luck, Edward," she says seriously. "It's all your hard work. It's paying off, and that means something."
Boy have I missed her. I want to tell her, but I don't want to make it weird again.
"So, Bella?" I say.
"Hmm?"
"They actually have this nightclub here, I kid you not," I tell her.
"No way?"
"It's literally a single room with a table for the DJ, and that's pretty much it. Seth can't wait to check it out when we're done."
"When are you done?"
"This weekend. Next week's mainly the Athletics, and then diving at the pool," I inform her. "We're going to party hard."
"As expected."
I laugh. "You know me."
"You definitely are a party animal."
"Takes one to know one."
It's silly, really, and we both burst out laughing at how absurd we're being. This is the easy part of being Bella's friend. It's also the hardest part, really. She makes it too easy to like her. She's too good at it, and it'd be too easy to lose myself in her.
"How's Ohio?" I ask, which is a mistake, I quickly realize.
"Fine," she says a little stiffly. "It's been a lot of family time. I missed them, of course, but it's been quite overwhelming. They can be a little much from time to time."
"Do you have a loud family?"
"Oh yes," she says. "My immediate family is relatively quiet. I mean, sure, my mom can talk a lot, but she doesn't talk loudly. I swear my aunts think it's some kind of competition or something."
I laugh. "Who's winning?"
"It's a toss-up between two of my mom's sisters, Vanessa and Joanna. I'll keep you posted about that though, because my cousin may or may not be staking a claim."
"Are you visiting your old stomping grounds?" I ask, which is another mistake.
"Sure."
I can hear something in her voice that unsettles me. "Did something happen, Bella?"
"It's nothing," she says quickly. Too quickly.
"Bella?" I question.
She sighs. "Some people aren't very nice, are they?"
"No they aren't, no," I tell her. "But some are."
"Some are," she echoes. Then: "How can you tell?"
"You can't."
"Then how do you pick who's worth your time?"
"I wouldn't know," I confess, because I haven't yet figured it out. "How did you make your decision about me?"
She waits a beat. "I haven't yet."
I let out a laugh. "Oh, well, that's a relief, I guess."
She's silent for a long moment, and it fills me with worry. "I miss you, Edward."
Again, my reply is automatic. "I miss you too."
We talk a bit more, and I worry so much. I can't help it. She bids me farewell, and tells me to make sure I eat all my calories, which should make me chuckle, but I don't. She hangs up first, and I just stare at my screen for an obscene amount of time.
Something feels broken between us. Cracked. Disjointed, and I blame Jane for it. Seth wouldn't have said anything to Bella, but Jane's always been an instigator. I love her, I do, but it's really annoying.
I turn when I hear a group of people approaching, and try to school my features into something passable as less than heartbreak. It doesn't work. Maybe my eyes are shining with concern, and maybe my face is red with worry. Who knows?
"Are you okay?"
There's a group of girls looking at me curiously.
Over the past few days, I've met lots of people and had conversations with countless more. But I haven't said a word about Bella. To anyone. Least of all to Seth, who knows that Bella's boyfriend is Jacob Black. Really, it's surprising that Jane doesn't know. Or she does, and she just wanted to create drama. Teenage girls, I tell you.
I sigh. "Umm."
One of the girls steps towards me. "That bad, huh?"
I clear my throat. "Tell me about it."
The four of them smile collectively.
"It's either your parents," one of them says. She's tall, with brown hair and a nice tan.
"Or a girl," another one says. She's more petite. Small. Really, she's tiny.
"Or a boy."
I can't help my laugh at the blonde-haired girl. She looks a mixture between serious and playful, and it throws me slightly.
"So, which one is it?" the first one asks.
"A girl," I say, and this girl isn't even my girlfriend. "Why are you all so complicated?"
They all laugh this time, because I suspect they don't know either.
"It's part of our genetic make-up," the petite one says, and I just nod. "You're Edward Cullen, aren't you?"
"I am," I say, nodding again. "Hi." I wave awkwardly. "Where are you from?"
"South Africa."
"USA," I say, probably unnecessarily. I smile at them. "I'm a swimmer. Who are you and what are you all here for?"
"I'm Juliet," the first one says; "Rowing."
"Rosalie," the petite one says; "Diving."
"Hey," I say; "that's so cool - my best friend's name is Rosalie too."
She smiles at me, before the next one speaks.
"I'm Tracy, and I play tennis."
"Cool," I say.
"I'm Emma," the last one - the blonde - says, smiling softly. "I'm a runner."
"Long distance?"
"Sprinter, actually."
I smile at them all. "Pretty hardcore, I won't lie," I tell them.
"Thanks," Rosalie says. "So, back to your girl trouble."
"Is it here with you?" Juliet asks.
"Partly," I admit, because it followed me here. I wasn't able to leave it behind. I should have known better than to try.
"Want to talk about it?"
I'll admit that I'm tempted. It'd be easy to pile my problems on other people, just to get some advice, because I clearly don't know what I'm doing. I'm only sixteen years old. I'm too young for this, really.
I end up telling them everything.
It's almost comical the way they react to the fact I like a girl with a boyfriend. It basically reaffirms that it was always going to be a bad idea. What was I thinking?
"No, Edward, no," Tracy says, shaking her head. "Bad move. Major bad move."
"And she knows?" Rose asks.
"My one friend kind of told her," I say with a headshake of my own.
"Oh, boy."
"It doesn't matter that you don't like her boyfriend; you don't go after another boy's girl."
"But I'm not," I counter immediately, raising my hands in innocence. "I never intended to, I swear." I don't mention The Lizard Room, because that was something else entirely. I wouldn't even know where to begin with that because I still don't know what to make of it.
We were going to kiss. I know we were.
"But you like her," Emma says.
It's like a therapy session, really, with these four South African bombshells, and I'm talking. I can't seem to stop.
"I do," I say; "I mean, I did."
"So you don't like her anymore?"
"I - "
"Oh, Edward," Juliet says, shaking her head. "You're in deep, aren't you?"
"No," I say. "I'm fine, really. It's fine." I brace myself to tell them about Kate. There isn't much to tell though. There's just the possibility of something, and I feel slightly relieved as I finally air it.
"And this one doesn't have a boyfriend?"
"Uh..."
"Oh Edward," Rosalie says, rolling her eyes. "You're completely hopeless."
"I am, I really am," I say; "but you're all just so complicated."
"What can we say?" Juliet says with a shrug.
"Yeah, yeah, it's the genes," Emma adds.
I shrug as well. "Were you guys headed to the cafeteria?"
"We are."
"Do I have the honor of accompanying you?"
Juliet nods, smiling. "By all means, yes."
For the rest of the night, I'm able to forget about my problems. It's not the easiest, but the win celebrations and our new friends really help. It isn't until later that night that it all comes back to me. Sure, I have my own problems, and Bella has hers, but it hurts that I can't help with whatever is bothering her.
I can't get to sleep, so I decide on a walk. I don't really make it very far, just downstairs and out to the front of the building where I locate a bench and sit down to think. I'm worried about Bella being in Ohio. She told me they left for a reason, and it bothers me that that reason hasn't seemed to have disappeared. So I worry. Desperately.
"Edward?"
I turn my head sharply to spy Kate walking towards me. She's dressed in her tracksuit, but I can see her pajama top poking out through the collar.
"What are you doing out here?" she asks.
I shrug. "Can't sleep," I admit. "You?"
"Same," she says, moving to sit down next to me.
"I don't even know why."
"Neither do I."
It doesn't make sense, because neither of us is even swimming tomorrow. But maybe it does. I'm thinking about Bella when I really shouldn't be.
I can't stop.
Then I reason that it wouldn't hurt to start thinking about someone else. I won't ask anything of Bella, for reasons. I wouldn't anyway, because I know this will pass. I'm convinced my crush stems from the fact that Bella pays attention to me. That isn't a base to start anything, particularly in a school like ours.
"Say, Kate?" I ask.
She turns her head to look at me. "Hmm?"
"This is probably a personal question, but, umm, you don't have a boyfriend, do you?"
She smiles softly at me, which I take to be a good sign. She doesn't answer me straight away. Actually, she doesn't answer me at all. Instead, she leans in and kisses me, gentle and quick. Just a press of her lips against mine.
"What do you think?" she asks before she stands up and walks away.
I'm left rooted to the spot, in shock.
I smile.
What do I think?
On Day Five, I have a day off from swimming, but I still go to the pool to support the others.
Day Six is the big one though. I swim in three events, which is exhausting: The Boys' 200 m Backstroke, the Boys' 100 m Freestyle and the 4 × 100 m Medley Mix. I'm a busy boy, really.
I don't place in the Freestyle, but I take gold and set a new World Junior Record in the 200 m Backstroke. It's a big moment for me. One of the biggest, really, because this is my stake. Backstroke is my way in, and it all seems so worth it.
My father's there, and my brothers. And Seth.
And Kate.
I'm oddly emotional, because it's all so much, and I kind of wish Esme was here as well.
"Edward, we'll celebrate later," Abe says, clapping me on the back. "Put your tracksuit back on. Get warm. There's one more race."
There always will be, won't there?
I sit with my father while I wait, and Esme calls his phone so I can talk to her. She screams in my ear and tells me congratulations. She says she's proud of me.
She's proud of me.
I can't find the words to tell her what it all means to me. Even if I could; I doubt I'd be able to say them because I'm too embarrassed by my own reaction.
"Thank you, Esme," I tell her. It's been more than ten years, and I've never called her anything other than Esme. She's never said anything to me about it, but I suspect it hurts her sometimes. And now, after the non-fight we had; it probably hurts her more.
"Thank you, Mom," I say, and I can't mistake her gasp. "I'll talk to you later, okay? There's another race coming up."
"Oh, okay, Sweetheart," she says, her voice catching. "Good luck."
"Thank you," I say again, and end the call.
My father is grinning at me when I hand him back his phone.
"What?" I ask.
"Nothing," he says, taking his phone and dropping it into his jacket pocket. "Just, thank you."
I don't reply.
Moments later, Abe comes to get me. It's time.
Peter and Liam scream good luck, and then I head down to wait with my teammates. I'm swimming the Backstroke leg, Carmen the Butterfly, Kate the Breaststroke and Garrett the Freestyle.
It isn't a surprise that we do well, though we finish behind the Chinese and the Russians.
Overall, on a personal level, my medal haul is noteworthy, and the press coverage is significant. They keep saying that Edward Cullen is the one to watch for the future, and I'm ready for it. I am so very ready.
That night, we do celebrate.
Big time.
I say that because of what happens with Kate. Maybe it's the high of my success, or something else entirely - possibly a drink or two - but my openness to the idea of her surprises us both. Which is why, by the end of the night, which is really the early morning, Kate is mine. We dance and we flirt and, when I drop her off at her room door, it's almost inevitable.
She falls silent first.
I follow, my movements stilling.
She looks me in the eye.
I try not to think of Bella.
She licks her lips.
I fail.
She raises an eyebrow, almost daring me to make a move.
I do.
I step towards her, cupping her cheek with one hand, and sliding the other around her waist.
She's warm, and she's soft and smiling.
I want this. I'm sure I do.
I lean in.
This time, I'm not caught off guard. This time, it isn't one of those soft, gentle kisses that are hesitant and testing. It's more. And, as we kiss, it becomes increasingly apparent that Kate has more experience than I do.
Also, it just doesn't feel the way that it should. I don't know what it should feel like, but it's not this. I don't know if it's me, or if it's her, but I'm the one to pull away first.
She's smiling, so maybe I'm a better actor than I thought.
We kiss again.
I try desperately not to think about a certain brunette.
Again, I fail.
The second week of the Games is an eventful one.
Because of Kate. Because of my new South African friends. Because of Seth. Because I'm done competing, and now I can just enjoy myself.
Because of Bella.
I don't tell her about Kate, because I can't bring myself to. Bella made it weird, and now I feel as if I can't tell her things.
I don't know if I want to tell her though. I suspect I'll have to at some point, but now isn't the time. We talk on the phone a few times, but the way I'm avoiding talking about Kate is kind of the same way she's avoiding talking about Ohio.
Sure, she gushes about her little cousins, and we have in-depth conversations about whether Harry Potter really should have been in Gryffindor or Slytherin. It isn't a debate or anything. Just a discussion, and I absently wonder if we've reached the point in our friendship where I can reveal just how Harry-obsessed I actually am.
Maybe she'll get freaked out.
"We're leaving early tomorrow," my father says, getting my attention.
I look up from my phone. I don't know what I feel about the fact that he and my brothers are heading home without me. My father wants to spend the weekend at home, allowing himself to get over his jet lag before he has to be at work on Monday.
I don't know a time when my father wasn't working, but it seems as if he's working on something bigger now. I absently wonder if it has something to do with Bella's father, though I doubt I'll ever ask. It may be a family business, but I've always been separate from it - by design, I suspect.
I think it's because of my interest in swimming. It's doubtful that I'll go into the family business until I've exhausted all I can to reach my dream of Olympic glory, and maintain it. And the thing is it's a dream I can realize. I mean, it's one thing to want to achieve something, but a person has to have some of the talent to back it up for success.
Abe, our coach, claims that I was born to be a swimmer.
I like to think I was born to be something more, but maybe all I'll be is a swimmer. Time will tell, I guess. There are worse things to be.
"Esme's asking what you want as your first dinner back," he says. "To celebrate. Unless you want to go out?"
We don't usually eat out. My brothers don't really like it, and I can't exactly eat half a kilogram of pasta in public, now can I?
"Surprise me," I say.
He grins, and his amusement seems to shine in his eyes.
"I'm going to have to meet with Rebecca when we get back," I tell him.
He nods. "I had a chat with Abe," he says. "He and Kevin will liaise, and your training will change, of course."
I also nod.
His features soften. "We're all very proud of you, Edward," he says, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "You've worked so hard, and you've accomplished so much."
"It doesn't stop here, Dad," I say.
"I know," he returns. "I just - I want you to know that we see you, and we're proud of you. Enjoy this accomplishment, Son. Savor it."
I set my phone aside and get to my feet.
He looks a little confused, but that disappears when I hug him. My father and I aren't huggers. Esme is sort of a hugger. She hugs Peter and Liam daily, and me on special occasions. But my father and I are too similar.
But we hug, and I feel the comfort of it for the first time.
He's proud of me.
He's proud.
Screw Olympic glory - this is what I wanted.
Okay, not entirely true.
But still.
He's proud of me, and it means the world to me.