Part XVII

When the bond open later that night Ben practically embraced the breath out of her, kissing frantically at the top of her head. "You're all right," his tone was laced with relief as he checked over her body for any sign of injury.

"I'm fine," she reassured and told him about the rest of the meeting she had with Poe and that before she left, she had read his mind, and the mind sweep held.

He sighed with relief again, but he was still upset, "That was very foolish of you to go off on him like that. To expose yourself. To expose our bond."

"I know," she said looking down as he still held her face in his hands. "I just got so angry. He suspected it was me all along. He didn't trust me, doesn't trust the Force." She looked up at her love, tears threatening to spill from her eyes, "This war has ruined him. There is hardly any light left in him."

Ben cradled her head to his chest, shushing her calmly and stroking her hair, "I think I'm starting to understand why the Force has insisted you stay with the Resistance. A General steeped in darkness and ruled only by anger and pride will continue to kill without conscious or consequence." He tilted her face back up towards his, "Poe has to be stopped, he has to be brought around, otherwise it will mean his death and the deaths of many others, most likely under his own orders…"

The words Ben didn't speak held with her as well. She knew that if Poe kept attacking the New Order, if he kept provoking Emperor Ren, that something would have to be done and Rey didn't want to think about when that day came. She was just thankful that Ben promised to allowed some of her friends passage to safety before any attack would be made.

"He trusts me now…we are going to be working together quite a bit in the upcoming weeks for the wedding."

"The wedding?" Ben asked, looking down slightly confused.

"Finn and Rose…I told you they were engaged."

"Yes…yes you did, I just figured they would be married by now."

Rey shrugged, "Rose said something about a traditional courting period that was accustomed to her home world of Hays Minor." She saw the concerning but also far off look on his face and stepped back into his space, wrapping her arms around his waist, "I'm okay Ben…really."

Looking down on her reassuring face, her safety was, embarrassingly, the furthest thing from his mind, but he shook the other thoughts from his head and decide to sigh, "I trust your powers and I trust your instincts, but I don't trust Dameron so if the Force tells you to run…"

"I know," she strokes his cheek, "Go to Mustafar and wait for you." She already had the coordinates memorized.

The bond was short that night, just enough to pacify Ben's anxiety and allow them a few long kisses.

Their connections over the next few weeks were quick, only a few bonds were held open long enough for them to come together. One night the bond had closed mid blowjob and Ben may have cut a droid in half with his saber that night.

But his favorite moment was when the bond opened and he had to stifle a laugh into his leather glove.

"Don't you dare," Rey hissed lowly.

Tucking his lips into his mouth and pressing his jaw tight, he held up his hands in surrender and again, tried to control the upturn of his cheeks. Rey stood before him in one of the most ridiculous dresses he had ever seen.

It was a blushing rose color, but not like the roses that grew in his grandmother's garden on Naboo, but it was the synthetic color of poorly made faux flowers from the lower levels of Coruscant. Ruffles seemed to criss-cross the dress with no discernible pattern and a high necked cape hooked around her bust line and flowed over her shoulders, but the material looked cheap as if it would crinkle under his touch.

For a moment he figured that either the designer or seamstress were blind for creating such a monstrosity, but then he also realized that Rey wouldn't be standing in the horrid thing if Rose had not picked it out and actually liked it for the wedding. His poor girl…he mused as he wished the bond could close so he could spare himself from having to look at the dress and also to spare Rey any further embarrassment.

"It's bad isn't it?" She tried to fluff at the cape and it did indeed make a sound of balled paper.

"It's…" Ben stopped, trying to think of the words that would least offend her, "…different."

Rey huffed as even his expression was uncomfortable when looking at the dress. She turned towards the mirror that was in the dressing room and she felt him come up behind her but didn't see his reflection. "It makes me itch," she said clawing at the tight collar of the cape as it cut into her neck each time she moved.

"Just be thankful that you only have to wear it for a few hours," he tried to get her to see the brighter side. "And then I will be more than pleased to rid you of it." Ben was thankful for his gloves as he ran his hands from her shoulders and down her arms, the cape feelings like the skin of a dead, sun-dried Hutt.

Rey wanted to be rid of the dress now as well, but she still had to go out and give a twirl for Rose, Kaydel, and a pilot named Nakari who had also been asked to join the bridal party. "You're not on Dantooine," he whispered as he pulled back her hair, wanting to kiss her neck but having to settle on her jaw.

"We're on Ord Mantell," she no longer felt threatened by him knowing where she was in the galaxy.

He hummed into the tender skin between her jaw and ear, "I'm on the Finalizer in Sector M8. I could be at your side in less than an hour." It almost pained him being so closer to her but not being able to completely be with her.

In his travels around the galaxy, he also learned that the closer they were to each other physically, the stronger he could feel her distinctive signature in the Force. This is how he knew she wasn't on the Resistance base and he had meditated on her signature enough to be able to almost estimate how many sectors separated them.

She finally turned to him, needing to see his face again, "We are having something called a girls weekend and Keydal has everything planned down to the minute."

Ben sighed, "But I miss you." He may have sounded like a spoiled child for just a moment.

Rey gave a soft laugh, "You see me all the time…" she fussed with his surcoat, knowing that she was teasing him.

"It's not the same," he protested.

Pushing at his chin to meet his downward gaze, Rey stretched up to peck his pouting lips, "I know." She bit at her lip, trying to consider if they had time for a quickie in the dressing room, but she heard Rose called her name and peered around Ben towards the closed door.

"You have to go, don't you?" He had felt her excitement through their bond and stated to think of all the ways he could wreck that Gods awful dress.

She just nodded and pulled him in for a more heated kiss before walking around him and opening the dressing room door.

"It's perfect!" Rose clapped and went to look at the dress for every angle.

Rey shot another look behind her, one of disbelief and dismay, and this time Ben outright laughed at her circumstance.

The wedding when off without a hitch. The day was cool and clear, hints of spring were on the budding trees and Rey wasn't sweating in her plasti-fiber dress. Everyone from the base had gathered out in the field that Rey usually used for saber practice and the mass of bodies formed an isle down the center.

Walking up to where another pilot named Tarash Cohmre stood, Rey just focused on not tripping over the long hem. Rose had tried to protest, but Rey proudly wore her saber at her back, noting that a Jedi should always be ready.

Poe stood across from her looking handsome in a pressed New Republic uniform. Being the highest ranking officer on the base, it would have been Poe to marry Finn and Rose, but he felt that being the best man was more important, so Captain Cohmre had been asked to perform the honor.

Needing Poe to be unaware that anything was awry between them after Rey had taken the memory of his hards wrapped around her throat for his mind, she had learned to relax her features and smile as if they were still just Poe and Rey who met on the Falcon over a year ago. The danger of his darkness was always at the forefront of her mind and she was always just skimming the intent of his thoughts.

Finn shifted nervously and Poe placed a friendly hand on his shoulder, whispered something in his ear and then shot a wink and smile in Rey's direction.

The wind blew overhead and everyone in attendance fell silent as Rose came upon the group. All heads turned and all eyes followed her sweeping steps up the isle. Her dress was white and made of slightly better martial, but it still makes a rubbing sound when each move.

Looking from Rose's face to Finn's, Rey mused that they could both be in gunny sacks and still be blissfully happy in this moment. Love pulsed thought the Force and it made her heart light. One day…some day she hoped to be able to tell Finn and Rose about Ben, surely two people who love each other the way that she loves Ben would understand.

Their vows are simple and even funny at one point, Finn promising to not steal the blankets and Rose pledging to never make him eat burra fish ever again. They spoke words of being lost and found, Rose repeating her words from Crait where she had saved him out of love.

Tears spilled from Rey's eyes at the sentiment. She thought about how much she had forfeited to be here and how it took Finn literally taking her hand and dragging her into this war for her to be awakened and made whole. For a slight moment she envied Finn and Rose, as they were announced as husband and wife and kissed to applause and catcalls. She would never have this and it made a piece of her ache.

It was day four hundred and thirty-one and they boarded her gray shuttle. "Are you guys excited?" Rey called from the cockpit, thankful to be out of the dress and back into simple black leggings and a cream tunic.

"So excited," Rose said from the cargo hold where she was strapping herself into a jump seat next to her new husband.

They had plans to honeymoon for a few days on Coruscant and Rey had, with no ulterior motives, offered to fly them there as it was on the way to her next 'supply pickup'.

None of the three had ever been to the city world and truthfully Rey was also very excited, mainly because she hadn't told Ben that she was coming. With the use of her datapad and a few secret communications with Arlan, Rey was set to surprise Ben, which with the bond she wasn't sure could happen.

For this trip, she actually tired something that, after first seeing Luke on Ahch-To, she swore she would never do, but Rey turned herself off to the Force. She knew that Ben could feel her coming and she also didn't want the bond to open and blow her cover. So after consulting her texts, she dimmed her light until it was closed behind a fortress in her mind.

Something she didn't expect about turning away from the Force was how much it hurt. She had staggered in the cockpit as they entered the Braxant Run hyperspace lane. Finn and Rose didn't notice that she writhed in pain, sucking in deep gulps of air as she wanted to claw at her heart. She didn't know how Luke had done it…even after about an hour the intense burn was gone, but she had never felt so empty.

Rey was thankful that the trip would only take them a few hours and once she was back in Ben's arms, she could open herself back up to the cosmic Force that by now felt like a second life's blood.

The world of Coruscant glowed as Rey started her approach. She couldn't feel the normal pulsing of life forms through the Force and she wondered if this is what everyone else felt like. Even though she was awed by the city that stretched across the entire planet, Rey wanted to see if through the Force.

She landed on a public tarmac and hugged both Finn and Rose, "I'll be back in four standard days and I'll pick you up right here."

Finn nodded and checked that his watch was synced to the time that the shuttle kept. "Are you sure that you'll be fine getting to Antar 4 by yourself?"

Rey waved them off, "I've done tons of runs alone and plus, who is going to mess with a Jedi?"

"The First Order," Finn said back with hate dripping from his tone.

"They haven't caught me yet," Rey said simply and playfully, wanting to get them on their way so she could make the twenty-minute flight to the center of Galactic City.

"Finn, she'll be okay," Rose reassured as she pulled at his arm, she was eager to start their honeymoon and secretly was still not thrilled with her husband's continued closeness with Rey.

"You better get used to listening to her Finn," Rey joked as she watched them walk down the ramp. "The first rule of marriage is that your wife is always right."

"Where did you hear that nonsense?" Finn called back from the tarmac with jest as Rose lightly backhand slapped him on the chest.

"Just some old man I met on a run once." The age difference between herself and Ben had never really bothered her, but any time she playfully called him 'old man' she knew he would prove her wrong by fucking her into reconsidering the label.

She was back in the air in under a minute and headed to the coordinates that Arlan had sent her. Her covertly coded ship would be able to land without any trouble and she found the landing area easily as Ben's Command Shuttle was proudly perched atop.

It was a strange feeling to be so close to him, but not really feel him, and Rey again wanted to race to him so that she could fling back open the doors to her connection to the Force. But a pit settled in her stomach when she exited the shuttle and Arlan was running towards her.

"You have to come quick," Arlan said, slightly out of breath.

Rey's eyes went wild, "What's wrong? Is it Ben?"

"Something happened…he won't tell us what is going on, but he is in a bad state." The elite trooper started to move towards a set of doors across the landing area and Rey followed behind, almost wanting to demand that they move faster.

Into the building and bypassing the elevator for a set of stairs, they went down two levels and then to another set of double doors. Rey's shoulders jumped when she heard the sound of something crashing against a wall from within followed by a crying yell that sounded like a wounded animal.

Arlan opened the doors and they both entered. If Rey had time, she would have noticed that they were standing in an elegant entry way that led down a few stairs to a living area with couches, tables, and plush carpet that was now littered with glass fragments from broken vases, flowers that once belonged in massive arrangements now wilted under the stomping boots of a very unstable Emperor Ren.

"Ben," Rey half called, half whispered across to him.

His gaze shot up to her, his Empress stood as if up on a dais, her eyes full of concern and fear and for a moment he thought the Force was mocking him, projecting her from the great beyond to further his suffering.

But then his guard reached out and touched Rey's shoulder, trying to assess if the Emperor intended her any harm, and as he saw that she was solid and true, he fell to is knees and wept.

"Leave us," Rey said with all of the authority of her title and Arlan bowed before exiting out of the same door they had entered.

Once they were alone, Rey moved quickly to where he had crumpled, standing before him and reaching out to run her hands through his hair as he hung his head. In a quick motion, Ben reached out, grasping her around the waist, balling his hands in the fabric that fell at her hips, and buried his face into her middle.

"What happened?" Rey asked quietly.

He wiped his face into her tunic before looking up her body at her concerned expression, "You disappeared."

"I'm right here…"

"No," he sniffed. "Your signature was just gone. I couldn't feel you in the galaxy…in the Force. The bond was no more. It felt like some one punched into my chest and took my heart…" More fat tears ran down his cheeks as he remembered the pain that he had felt. "I thought you were dead…"

Rey hadn't thought about what it would feel like for Ben when she closed off to the Force and her girlish desire to surprise him had turned into a horror. "I'm right here," she said again as she cupped his face in her hands and she opened herself back up to the Force.

Ben's tense body relaxed as if he had just been shown all the answers to the universe. A tidal wave of her light washed over him and his body was once again made whole. He gripped at her left wrist and planted kisses into her palm, to feel her warm and alive was more gratifying than tapping into any other great power within the Force.

The pain he felt through the Force when Han died…at Luke's sacrifice…when he mother drew last breath…all of that pain combined could not compare to what it felt like to sense Rey's light fading. "What did you do?" He asked, more concerned than accusing.

Now tears were spilling down Rey's cheeks. When she was opened back up to the Force she also was flooded with their bond and she felt all of his terror and the helpless void that he had been in and her heart broke. "I just wanted to surprise you…I knew you would sense me coming…I shut out the Force…I'm so sorry," she stuttered and hiccuped through her ramble.

"You sweet but naive girl…" Ben lovingly scolded as he stood and collected her up in his arms, now kissing at her face and neck, wanting to have contact with ever inch of her and bath in her light.

The next time Rey blinked they were in a darkened room and Ben was setting her back down her feet and his hands went to work on her clothing as he continued the assault with his lips, "Don't ever do that again Rey."

"I won't…" Even in the dark, she met the intense and pleading gaze of his eyes.

"Don't ever close yourself off from the Force…don't ever close yourself off from me."

"I promise…" she breathed out as he picked her up again by the rear and thighs, resting her back on something soft…a bed she guessed.

Ben was pushing into her within seconds, going almost as slow as their first time, wanting to savor the physical, emotional, and spiritual connection that they shared. He rested his forehead against hers and she opened her mind to him and he groaned seeing the pain that she had put herself through for the sake of spontaneity.

In turn, she got the full brunt of his suffering through their opened bond and her body shook not only with pleasure but also with tears. He had fallen so quickly to the dark when he thought she was dead…that his star had faded…that his home was gone…he had sunk into an abyss and he was still steeped in dark energy that cloaked over them both as his thrusts became rougher and more urgent.

"I'm sorry," Rey wasn't sure if her words were spoken aloud or through the bond, but she vowed to never put either of them through this agony ever again.