Chapter Twelve: My Home Away From Home
EPOV
I think I did something wrong.
Maybe I said something, who knows? For some reason I can't seem to figure out and, despite what she continually says, I know Bella's pulled away from me. It's unnoticeable if you don't go looking, but I see it. I feel it. Something's wrong with us, but I don't know what.
I reason it's because I mentioned Ohio. She's made it very clear to me that she wants to keep whatever happened in Ohio separate from her new life here in Seattle, and I'm just messing with that. I also made the executive decision I won't visit her family, because it clearly makes her uncomfortable, even though she won't say so.
I wish she would, though. I wish she was comfortable enough with me to tell me what we both know she wants to. This is why I'm wholly confused by her words when I see her for Biology on the Tuesday I'm supposed to be leaving for Columbus.
It's unlike her to get here later than I do but I guess there's a first time for everything. I already have my books out when she arrives, sporting a strange smile on her face. It's nothing I've seen before, and I have to ignore the vicious feeling at the mere thought that Jake put it there.
He didn't.
Technically, I didn't either, but I like to think I did.
"So," she says, resting her elbows on the tabletop. "When are you free?"
I frown. "Uh..."
"My gran makes the best pecan pie in the world," she tells me. "She says she's making a special one, just for you."
My frown deepens. "What?"
"Do you think you'll be free for dinner tomorrow night?"
It's the night before the start of the Championships. I don't think Kevin will be too keen on my spending it out and about - or eating pie, for that matter. "I think I can do lunch," I tell her, somewhat warily. I think I might have overstepped by just assuming I would meet her family. I don't want her to think I expect to meet her family. We're not even in a relationship.
But.
Still, Bella nods. "Lunch it is, then," she says, taking out her phone and sending a text to, I assume, her grandmother. "I'm also telling her you're allergic to peanuts. She loves peanuts, and I really don't want to get a call telling me my gran killed my best friend."
I can't help my grin. Her humor has eased the tension in my shoulders. Maybe I've been imagining things, and we're actually okay.
"Also," she says, turning back to look at me; "you're probably going to meet my aunts and uncles and cousins and, just, everyone... They can be a bit much. You might get overwhelmed at first, but they're really very sweet - just unable to curb their own excitement, which is going to be through the roof when they meet you."
I raise my eyebrows. "Uh, why is that?"
She rolls her eyes. "Jeez, Edward, are you fishing for a compliment or what?"
I must have lost her somewhere because I balk at her accusation. "What?"
Despite my alarm, she just grins. "Have you met yourself?"
"Why, yes, Swan, I have," I say. "I do believe I've known myself the longest, in fact."
She rolls her eyes again. She's really a master at it, I'm telling you. "All I'm saying is that you should probably expect to be a hit," she warns me. "And they'll ask a lot of questions about Seattle."
I look at her, sensing some of her discomfort. "I won't tell them anything you don't want me to."
She blinks. "That's not the part that's bothering me," she admits. "It's more what you may or may not find out while you're there."
I wait a beat before I hold up three fingers. "I won't go looking. Scout's Honor."
She gives me a quizzical look. "Were you even a Boy Scout?"
I shake my head. "Swimmer, remember," I say with a shrug. "But I think it could still apply. I'm just going to see the family that made part of who you are, and possibly find some embarrassing baby pictures to tease you about when I get back." I'm rewarded with a significant glare, and that's all our conversation amounts to as Mr. Banner calls for our attention.
We don't get to do much talking after that, and then, she's going to English, and I just watch her go. This feels like an important step in our friendship, though I can't quite pinpoint why that could be.
In French, I sit behind her and try to focus on what Madame Pince is saying. I was all for meeting her family, but now I'm nervous about it. I mean, what if they don't like me? What if I make a bad impression and they tell Bella, and she decides she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore?
It takes me a moment to recognize I'm being ridiculous. Of course, they're going to love me.
Hah.
When school lets out, I head straight home. I don't really have time for a session at the pool, which unsettles me, but Kevin did have to remind me I shouldn't push too hard before the races. I force myself to listen because I ended up passing out the last time I didn't.
Esme is bustling around the house, practically chasing after Peter as she tries to get him to put on his cleats. I can't help my laugh at the sight, and she comes to a stop in front of me, faking displeasure.
"And just what is so funny, young man?"
"Nothing," I say.
"That's what I thought," she says, smiling knowingly. "Are you all packed? Your father should be here in a half hour."
I nod. "Just a few final things," I tell her.
"Do those few final things include your homework?"
I grimace. "Of course," I say sweetly.
She reaches out to touch my cheek. "Hey," she coos; "just because I run around chasing after those two monsters all day; doesn't mean I won't chase after you."
I can tell it's said teasingly and I should just roll with it, but the little boy in me feels it. After all we've been through this year, the sentence feels monumental. Maybe she sees something in my face, because she's quick to pull me into a hug I wasn't so sure I wanted until her arms are wrapped around me.
"Oh, Edward," she whispers, just holding me in a way I can only describe as motherly.
When she lets go, she saves me from the horror of embarrassment at being caught being so darn emotional by sending me up to my room. I smile gratefully, reach up to peck her cheek and then sprint up the stairs to my room. My little suitcase is on my bed where I left it this morning, almost full. I pack up my toiletries and various electronics, change into something more comfortable, zip up and then drag everything back down the stairs.
I've just set my backpack down when my father walks through the front door.
"Mr. Cullen," he says, raising his eyebrows. "Fancy seeing you here."
I roll my eyes. He can be such a 'Dad' sometimes.
"Ready to go?" he asks.
I nod. "Just waiting for you."
He sets down his briefcase on the little table in the foyer. "Give me ten minutes."
"Ten is too long," I whine.
He smiles, his eyes wrinkling at the sides. It's the first sign he is getting older. "Nine, then."
I sigh dramatically. "I suppose that will have to do."
He bumps me with his shoulder as he walks past me. "Eat something before we leave," he says. "And make sure you use the toilet."
Does he think I'm four years old or something? Despite my apparent reluctance, I still do as he says and meet him back in the foyer fourteen minutes later. Esme is forcing him to take off his tie, but he's fighting her. Some things won't change.
Peter finally has his cleats on, and I imagine Liam is somewhere doing something productive with his time.
Esme sees us off, wishing her 'boys' luck. It's the first I've really considered what it must be like for her living in a house with just boys. I wonder if she misses the company of other women because, as far as I know, her circle of friends really consists of other mothers from the twins' school and colleagues from work. I can't help thinking about what her life was like before the twins were born; before she even came into our lives.
I'll have to ask her one of these days.
Felix is driving us to the airport, and so my father and I sit next to each other in the backseat. He's busy on his phone, probably making sure the offices don't burn to the ground in his absence. He works with good people, so I think it's in safe hands. I mean, Esme's still around.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I immediately reach for it. It's a message from Bella, and her words are enough to make my heart smile.
Beaufort: Okay, so I may have mentioned to my gran that you're a sucker for seafood pasta and since she's the OG, well, just... PREPARE YOURSELF! Also, have a safe flight and let me know when you arrive. I already miss you! X
If I thought that Bella was exaggerating when she warned me about her family; she wasn't.
Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins a plenty; I think my ears are bleeding. My father dropped me off at Bella's grandmother's house straight after morning training, and it's been non-stop ever since. I've had a headache for the past forty minutes, and it shows no sign of receding.
Marie Higginbotham is rather scary and intimidating at first, but she's really quite lovely after you peel back the layers. I think she had her reservations about me - some boy who's friends with her granddaughter - but I'm convinced I've won her over.
I've also eaten so much, I'm starting to get sleepy. If I thought Bella's mother's pasta was to die for; Marie's is to live for.
After the family exhausts themselves asking questions, Marie politely - not really - sends them to their respective homes. I didn't even know people could have so much family in one place. My father's family is spread out over two continents. And, well, so is Esme's. I don't think we've ever really all been in one place at any one time. I think I'd get a shock if that were ever to happen.
Just when I see the opportunity to mention it's probably time for me to leave, Marie shows me the mother-load of all mother-loads: the prized photo albums.
Oh, my God.
Well, well.
Bella Swan.
That kid was so adorable, my teeth even hurt. Marie even allows me to snap a few pictures with my phone and I add a pretty candid photo to the contact ID, Beaufort. Bella's pretty unrecognizable, but I just know she's going to kill me if she sees it.
We go through the years, Marie absently telling me little stories here and there. I learn things about Bella she never would have told me. Like, she first learned how to ride a bicycle when she was eight, and her oldest cousin on her mother's side, Frances, was the one to teach her how to tie her shoelaces. They're relatively unimportant things, but I love every one of them.
They're important to me.
They help me paint a truer, more complete, picture of Bella in my head.
When we get to the pictures of an older Bella, it's heartbreaking to see that her happy-go-lucky smile has faded. The pictures are fewer, and even I can tell something went wrong somewhere along the line.
"I don't know how much she's told you," Marie begins.
"Nothing," I'm quick to say, making sure she doesn't reveal anything. I don't want to betray Bella that way. "She's told me nothing."
"I suspected as much," she says sadly. "She had a rough time of it here, near the end," she tells me anyway. "I worry about her. I worry about all of them. They're my family, and they're just so far away. I worry."
I nod in understanding, even though I don't think I really do. It's probably because I've never felt connected to my own.
"But then, if my family has managed to find people like you, Edward; it makes me worry a little less."
I just stare at her.
"She's been through a lot," she says. "But I'd rather she be there, safe from all of this, than wish she were home with me."
I'm lost.
I'm so lost, but I still nod.
"She doesn't like to tell me how she's really doing," she explains. "I have to find out from her parents, but even they don't really know. If she hasn't told you, then I doubt you'd really know either."
I want to assure her that I do know all about how Bella's doing, but I'd be lying.
We're liars, you see; to each other and to ourselves.
"Just be there when she's ready," Marie says.
"Of course," I automatically say. "I'm not going anywhere."
Marie pats my arm softly. "My dear, don't you see, that could very well be the problem."
Before I can ask what that means, she's turned away and begun to dig in her bag for something. A moment later, she pulls out a phone. It always fascinates me when old people are proficient with their own phones, and I can just watch helplessly as she dials a number and puts the phone on speaker.
I don't have to ask to know whom she's calling.
"Hi, Grandma," I hear Bella answer a few rings later, and I automatically smile. It's odd how I always feel like she's talking to me, even when she isn't.
"My darling," her grandmother says, and her smile matches mine. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, and how are you?" Bella replies, and I wonder if she can hear the untruth in Bella's voice like I can. I once read that a person tells an average of four lies a day, with "I'm fine" being the most common. Bella's just used up one of hers. I wonder how many she'll tell when I talk to her. Or worse, how many I'll tell. I don't know what it is, but I feel as if all we've been doing is lying to each other.
About so many things.
More importantly, we've been lying about our feelings.
I'm still waiting for her to tell me the truth of what she feels about the fact I'm here in Ohio, with the family she left behind for whatever reason I told myself I would never ask about. I've toyed with the idea of actually doing it, but I eventually decided against it. Ohio is something that hangs over us, but we're ignoring it.
It's not healthy at all.
One of Bella's questions catches my attention. "So, you've met Edward then?"
"Oh, I did," Marie says enthusiastically. "He's lovely, Bella," she adds, risking a look at me. "So handsome, as well. Reminds me of your grandfather when he was younger. I think Natalie has a little crush on him."
"I don't blame her," Bella says, and I raise my eyebrows in surprise. What? "Most girls I know end up having crushes on him."
Oh.
She's talking about Angela.
Of course, she is.
"She didn't overwhelm him, did she?" Bella asks.
Marie glances at me. "He definitely handled himself very well," she says cryptically. "It's obvious his heart's already taken."
Bella is silent for the longest time, and I try to keep the alarm off my face. I made sure not to mention Kate, and I don't think I gave anything away during lunch.
Marie still looks a little mischievous. "I know you mentioned he was a gentleman, Bella, but you really are a very lucky girl."
Oh, shit.
Bella gasps. "Gran! I told you Edward and I aren't dating. He's just a friend."
Marie drops her gaze. "Are you sure about that?" she asks, and I realise this woman is full of spice. She wants to create drama, and I've come to the conclusion that she and Jane would definitely get along.
"I - " Bella starts and then stops, which makes me raise my eyebrows. "I'm sure," she eventually says.
Marie doesn't believe her and, frankly, I don't either.
"I'm sure," Bella says again. "We're just friends. Best friends."
I find myself nodding. Bella's right. She's totally right. We're friends. Just friends. Best friends.
Marie looks confused for the longest moment, and she looks at me a few times. "But - but, if you'd hear the way he talks about you; you'd think - "
"Gran," Bella cuts her off. Then: "Is - Jesus - is Edward still there? Oh my God, can he hear us?"
Marie winks at me. "Of course he's not, Sweetheart."
"Edward?" Bella calls out. "I swear to God, Edward, if you're there right now, I'm going to - "
"To what?" I ask, and Bella's answering shriek is so worth it. "What are you going to do, Bella?"
She squeaks this time, and I hear her mutter something incoherent before she hangs up and the line goes dead.
Marie looks at me, amusement in her features. "I'm really in trouble now."
I nod. "So am I."
Marie sets her phone down and gives me all of her attention. "Are you sure you're just friends?" she asks.
"She has a boyfriend," I say; "and I have a girlfriend."
Marie shakes her head, her eyes narrowing. "That is not an answer to my question."
I swallow nervously. "I - " I hesitate. Just like Bella. "I'm sure," I force out.
Her answering smile is terrifying.
Who's in trouble now?
I win one silver medal.
It's more than I thought I would claim, but it's still extremely disappointing. I had such a good Youth Olympic Games, just to receive one measly medal. I mean, sure, this is a senior competition, but it still hurts. It hurts, and it's something my family doesn't seem to understand. Neither does Kate, apparently. I actually won a medal, and that should mean something.
"At least you won a medal, Edward," Kate says.
I mean, the way she says it makes it sound so simple. My brain registers the logical side of it, but it's what I feel. Why isn't she being more understanding? Even a little sympathy would go a long way.
"Some of us made only one final," she adds a moment later, sounding somewhat bitter. I don't think it's anything to do with me, but more to do with disappointment in herself. I'm not going to remind her that we're some of the best swimmers in the country, because I wouldn't want to be reminded of that as if it's some kind of consolation either.
We're both swimmers.
These are feelings we understand.
"Okay," I say, huffing out a breath. "Enough talk about swimming. We have a decision to make. Are we going out for dinner or were you serious about wanting to eat me?"
She laughs gloriously, and my face splits into a grin.
We're good together.
I know we are.
"Decide, Miss Kincade, or I shall decide for you," I say.
Kate decides pretty quickly after that by leaning over to kiss me. Her mouth is hot and demanding, and there's something almost desperate about the way she tugs on my t-shirt, lifting it up and over my head. It's been a strange few days, but we survived it, and here we are. My studying for finals has been abandoned, and this girl has all my attention.
What feels like hours later, Kate pulls back and lets out a long, satisfied breath. She's as scantily dressed as I am, her hands just extricating themselves from inside my boxers.
"I have to tell you something," she says, rolling over onto her back and rewarding me with a lovely view.
"Okay...?"
"I sent out applications for college last week," she tells me.
I blink. "Oh?"
"They're all on the East Coast."
"Oh."
She turns her head to look at me. "I didn't tell you."
"No, you didn't."
She sighs. "Are you mad?"
"Why would I be mad?"
For the longest time, we just stare at each other. "I don't know, but are you? It would make sense if you were."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask. "I mean, I know it's your decision and all, but you didn't tell me, and you did that on purpose, didn't you? I don't understand why."
She reaches out to touch my chest. "I really like you, Edward, and I'm in this, I am. It's just, well, I was always going to stay on the East Coast, and I wasn't going to let any romantic relationship influence that."
I blink. I guess I can understand that, but I can't help feeling slighted. I should have been told anyway. Not necessarily consulted, but told.
"Are you mad?" she asks again, her fingers moving distractedly over my skin.
"No," I say. I'm not mad. How can I be?
I'm hurt, maybe, but I'm convinced I don't have any right to be.
"I know we said we were going to skip the whole Christmas presents thing this year," I tell Bella; "so I made you something."
Bella just stares at me for the longest time; it's as if I've just sprouted a second head. Maybe I have. I feel as if I have. My head is throbbing, and my left shoulder feels as if I ran into a brick wall.
"What?" Bella asks.
"I didn't actually buy anything," I reiterate. "I made it."
She rolls over to look at me and slowly sits up. She's in a bit of a mood because it's that time of the month, so I'm doing all I can not to piss her off or say anything that may or may not get me in trouble. I saw her fly off at Jake over the phone earlier, and I definitely don't want to be on the receiving end of one of those Bella Beatdowns.
We've also just finished writing our exams, and both my mind and body are exhausted.
"But," she starts; "I don't have anything for you."
"That's okay," I tell her; "I have everything I need. But I do want to give this to you. Just, you know, try not to laugh or whatever."
"What is it?"
"Toss me your phone," I tell her.
She hesitates for just a moment, before she chucks her phone at me, underarm. I just about manage to catch it, fumbling slightly and Bella awards me with an amused look.
"What?" I ask innocently. "I'm a swimmer. We don't need good hand-eye coordination."
She just shakes her head, and I turn away, plugging her phone into my computer. I'm relieved to find I'm actually able to add the playlist I made to her phone. It doesn't take long, and I feel a little embarrassed as I eject and unplug it. I don't throw it back at her because my throwing skills are probably worse than my catching ones. Instead, I stand, walk over to my bed and hand the phone to her, saying nothing, and then return to my desk to busy myself with nonsensical things.
"What did you do?" she asks, studying her phone.
I don't respond. I don't even turn to look at her, pretending as if I haven't heard her.
She recognizes that, I guess, because she doesn't ask again. I can hear her searching, checking for what foreign thing I must have done to her precious phone that she's dropped something like fifty times, just in the time I've known her. It's battered and bruised, but still functioning. Why would she ever need a new one?
"Oh," she finally says, clearly finding it. "Uh..."
I turn in my chair to look at her.
"Edward, did you make me a playlist?" she asks, her voice low and unassuming.
I swallow nervously. "I did."
She waits a beat before her eyes meet mine. "You made me a playlist." It's a statement, not a question. "That's so..."
"Lame?" I finish for her.
"Cute," she says. "You totally made me a mixtape. That's adorable."
I roll my eyes, ignoring her descriptions. "I guess I kind of want you to have something to remember me by when you're in Ohio," I tell her.
"It's doubtful I'll forget, Cullen," she lets me know, the fingers of her left hand absently moving to fiddle with the Nemo pendant at her neck. I automatically smile at the sight of it, feeling something warm spread through my chest. "But thank you, really - I definitely needed some new music."
I smile. "You're welcome," I say, before turning away again. As I resettle, I'm hit by an odd feeling. I gave her the necklace to remember me by, and now the playlist. I can't determine if I really did it for that, or if I'm somehow marking her in case - in case -
My face falls, and I don't know how she sees it.
"Edward? What's wrong?"
I'm not sure what to say. I don't even know if something is wrong.
"Edward?" she tries again, and I hear her get up off the bed and pad towards me in her socked feet. "What's wrong?" She places a hand on my shoulder, and I tense. "Edward?"
In case -
In case she leaves.
In case she goes and never comes back.
I turn to her sharply, and she flinches in surprise. "You're coming back, right?" I ask suddenly.
"What?"
"You're coming back from Ohio, right?"
"Of course," she says slowly, probably sensing that something is wrong. "I live here now, Edward. It's home, and I'm definitely coming back. As much as I complain about this stupid rain; this place has really grown on me. It's quite sad, really." Her hand moves from my shoulder to my hair, and I automatically lean into her touch.
She hugs me to her, and bends to kiss the top of my head. "I promise I'm coming back, Edward Cullen. You can't get rid of me that easily."
Honestly, I don't know if I believe her.
.
At the same time Bella goes to Ohio, I go to Toronto. I was reluctant, of course, because it interrupts my training schedule, but my father assured me there would be facilities for me to use when we arrive in Canada. I've always taken my training seriously, but I have a tangible goal now, and I'm not going to let something like the holidays get in the way of that.
It's not exactly something the members of my family fully understand, but they've conceded the argument. I have my ways, and that's that. I'm not ashamed of it. One day, I'll prove everyone wrong and right.
My family definitely isn't as loud and boisterous as Bella's. My father says we're relatively subdued people because we're Canadian. Well, they're Canadian, and they like to bring it up whenever I'm around. It's a topic of contention that I swim for the USA when the only thing that really ties me to the country is my non-existent mother. I wouldn't know how to explain myself if I tried.
Opportunities, maybe.
We do live in Seattle.
Which is wicked close to Canada, anyway.
Most of my extended family lives in Toronto. I haven't been back to Vancouver since the day my father picked me up from school and carted me across the country under the guise of a temporary holiday. He left me at my grandparents' house when he went looking for my mother, and I don't think I've ever really been able to forgive him for not allowing me to say goodbye to my childhood.
Anyway.
My father is the baby of the family, with an older brother and an even older sister. Aunt Makenna lives in Toronto as well, with her husband with whom she has two children. Ethan and Nicola are both already in college, with Ethan set to go to law school next Fall. We're really a family of lawyers, and it's only a matter of time before he joins the family business.
My father's brother lives in Prague with his family. It's a bit of a tradition for the two boys of the family to alternate Christmases in Toronto, and this year is Carlisle Cullen's turn. We haven't actually seen Uncle Alistair and his family in more than a year. I don't even know if we'll even see them before next summer, really. They're family I'm not close to. Not that I'm close to my other cousins.
My grandmother is old, though she doesn't seem it. She's pushing eighty and refuses to accept it. I mean, eighty is old, isn't it? My grandfather is one of the reasons I even considered the idea of becoming a swimmer. It was when I was here with them that fateful summer after I turned four years old that I learned all about the Olympics - it was one of the ways my grandfather tried to communicate with me. It didn't work back then, but it definitely sparked something.
I don't think even he knew what he was creating.
When I'm not swimming, I'm being interrogated. I know they love me - we're family, it's kind of a given - but they expect too much. I don't know them, and they don't know me. I guess, talking could help with that but I'm just not up for it.
I exist in a bit of a funk, really, either swimming or on the phone. I have holiday homework to do as well, which I use as a repeated excuse. The only people I make time for are my brothers and my grandparents. Esme isn't particularly settled in our family either. My grandfather adores her, sure, but my grandmother has always regarded her with suspicion. I reason it's because of the mixture of business and pleasure.
Also, the supposed love of my father's life had already left him.
I guess she's just as worried as I am. Get attached and then watch them leave. That part makes sense to me.
Christmas is a quiet affair, save for Peter and Liam, who run around like they've never left home before. It's freezing outside, so their playground is, unfortunately, inside the house. Esme gave up trying to control them.
New Year's is better, somehow. I spend most of the night on Skype talking to Kate. She's enjoying her holiday almost as much as I am. It's a constant string of 'I miss yous' and 'I wish you were heres.' I hate that it's like this, but she surprises me. She usually does.
"So," she says.
"So," I say.
"I've been nagging my parents all year about this," she tells me; "and I've finally convinced them to let me, uh - "
"Let you what?" I ask, leaning forward.
She grins widely. "Well, I was wondering what you're doing the first weekend of January."
I frown. "Uh, I don't know," I admit. "Probably recovering from this disaster of a visit home. Why?"
"Just wondering."
"Wondering what?" I press. What is she trying to tell me without actually telling me? "Katherine Kincade, will you just tell me what you're talking about?"
She raises her eyebrows. "Well, you see, I was wondering if you would mind if I visited my boyfriend that weekend?"
I frown. "What?"
She says nothing; just nods.
"No ways?" I ask, suddenly clicking. "Kate? Seriously? You're coming here? Well, Seattle, but yeah. Whoa."
"If you'll have me."
My eyes widen. "If I'll have you," I scoff, shifting to the end of my chair. "When do you arrive? Oh my God! You're coming to Seattle. Holy shit, you're actually coming! This is amazing. This is so awesome!" I realize, belatedly, that I sound like an excited child, but this is such a great Christmas present that I suddenly can't wait to get back to Seattle.
Well, I already couldn't wait, but now it's worse. Like, way worse. I miss her, and it'd be great to see her twice in, uh, six weeks.
What kind of relationship is that?
It doesn't escape me that it's probably the kind of relationship I want right now. With her right across the country, I'm able to focus on my swimming and on work and on my friends... and on Bella.
Kate.
I need to see Kate.
We need to see each other.
On the first Friday of the new year, I pick her up at the airport in the early afternoon. It's the last Friday before school starts, and I just about manage to convince myself she's the only person with whom I want to spend it.
We end up having one of those ridiculous and cliched reunion scenes when she emerges from the terminal and, wow, I've missed her. We take our sweet old time getting her bag, and then I drive us to Breaking Dawn. I have training, and I suspect she wants to see our fellow swimmers.
We do make out for a few minutes in the parking lot though. Really, how can we not?
"We should go," I say, pulling back to look at her. "Seth has been blowing up my phone since last night. He was very creative with what he would do to me if I hogged you."
"And we don't want that, do we?"
"No, we don't," I agree, before I get out of the car. I grab my gym bag from the trunk, and we head inside, holding hands.
"Kate!" Seth yells as soon as he spots us, and everyone turns to look at him. He doesn't even notice as he bounds towards us.
"Is he always this excitable?" she asks me, absently taking a step towards me.
"Yes," I say. "But he's excited to see you. He's made it very clear I'm not as exciting as you are."
"But you are just as pretty."
I grin at her. "I missed you."
Seth is upon us before she can reply, but I already know what she was going to say. She's made it very clear to me that she's missed me as well. I'm actually surprised I managed to get us here in one piece, given those wandering hands she has.
Kate isn't ready for the force of Seth's hug, and she stumbles backward, forcing me to steady them both.
"Easy," I say. "Seth, please don't kill my girlfriend. She just got here."
He ignores me in favor of dragging Kate towards the bleachers. Apparently, they have a lot to discuss - whatever that means. She's in our town now, and blah blah blah. Jane isn't as animated because she's generally not an animated person, but she is more present, which is a pleasant surprise. Something's different but I can't put my foot on it.
Whatever it is, I can't dwell on it because Kevin gets our attention. It's time to train. I kiss Kate's cheek and then head down to the weight room. I try not to focus on Kate watching me, but I can't help flexing a bit more, knowing that she can see. It's ridiculous, I know, but I can't help it.
Seth teases me about it, but I cream him in the pool.
I usually do.
When our session is over, we disappear into the changing rooms to shower and change for dinner. We're having a group dinner: Kate, Seth, Jane, Emmett, Rose and. Leah said no to dinner - I didn't ask for a reason - and Jared gets back to Seattle only on Sunday. I was not going to invite Alec.
Bella's a whole other story.
I'm relatively calm about it though. I want my friends to meet Kate, but I'm not sure I want Bella to. It'd be too weird; I just know it. So, I'm calm about the decision I've made... right until the moment Seth opens his big, stupid mouth.
"Is Bella coming?" he asks, and I shoot him such a dirty look that he actually cowers. "I guess that's a no then."
"It's just Rose and Emmett," I say, keeping my voice steady, even as Kate and Jane walk in front of us. I can't know if she heard him, but I don't rule it out.
As a result, I'm on edge for the entire dinner. Thankfully, though, Seth doesn't bring up Bella again. He should know better. I mean, he knows. He's supposed to be my guy, and then he goes and does this.
My friends talk circles around me. Rose is especially taken with Kate, which I try not to dwell on. Maybe Kate can convince her that dating Royce is a bad idea. Girls have their own language, don't they? But, then again, Rose is a champion at convincing people to see her way, so I'm not holding my breath. She'd wipe the floor with Kate.
But not Bella, I suspect.
I pay for dinner. Well, my father does, and everyone says a brief air-thank-you to Carlisle Cullen before we get up to leave. It was a pleasant evening, nothing too monumental and nothing too diabolical. I've been a little nervous about having her with me in Seattle, having her meet my friends and just be with me. But having her here now makes me feel silly for even worrying.
Kate's hand is cool in mine as we walk to my car after we've bid everyone goodbye. The temperature of her hand is a little odd, but it's part of her. I can't stop myself from thinking that Bella's hands are warm. I shake my head, ridding myself of the thought. I'm holding Kate's hand, and I automatically grip it tighter.
She glances at me, her expression equal parts apprehensive and happy.
"Everything okay?" I ask, my voice low.
She waits a beat before she nods. And then it comes.
I should have known.
"So, who's Bella?"
"Hmm?"
"Bella, Edward," she says. "Who is she? And why wasn't she invited to dinner?"
I'm going to kill Seth. "She's a friend from school," I tell her. "My lab partner in Biology, actually."
She looks thoughtful for a moment, before she asks the all important question. "Will I get to meet her?"
I take a breath. "I don't think so," I tell her, trying to keep my voice level. "As far as I know, she has a standing date night with her boyfriend on Saturdays."
She regards me for a moment. Then: "Oh, okay."
Maybe she needed to hear that Bella has a boyfriend. I definitely needed to say it. I need the reminder, and she needs the assurance.
This is so fucking messed up.
Kate and I spend the majority of Saturday alone. We go for brunch at a restaurant downtown before we ride the ferry four times. Apparently, she likes ferries, and kissing me on ferries. We visit a museum, make-out in an exhibit that's being renovated, and then make it back to my house in time to get ready for dinner out on the town, just the two of us. It's nothing fancy, but it's still something.
I like the idea that we're packing so many dates into this one weekend.
Things were a little weird after the whole college application thing, but I'm trying not to dwell. I put myself in her shoes, and I think I might have done the same thing. I mean, we haven't even been dating a full year. How can I expect her to make such big decisions about her future with me in mind when I doubt I would have done the same?
But we're fine now. In the Fall, she'll go somewhere, and I'll start my senior year of high school. She always tells me her friends tease her about being a cradle-robber, which is borderline hilarious. It's not something that bothers either one of us. At the moment, at least. I mean, she does turn eighteen before I turn seventeen.
After dinner, we take a walk. There's a bar Bella mentioned was quite nice, and I suggest checking it out. Kate's all for it; anything to extend this evening, I guess. It's called Reforget, which makes no sense to me, but hey. It seems pretty great even if its name isn't an actual word.
We're met by a waitress when we enter into a dimly lit room with smoke hanging in the air. "Table for two?"
Kate nods, and then kind of hangs back so I can both follow and lead, her hand in mind. She looks comfortable, her eyes taking in the odd decor. I decide I like this look on her and I'm just about to tell her when I spot -
Honestly, just, fuck my life.
Bella... and Jake.
They're sitting at a table just next to the table we're headed towards, and I just know this night isn't going to end well. Bella spots me at around the same time Jake does, and my mind spins with all the possible things that could happen. I watch Jake lean over and ask Bella a question. She shakes her head, before her eyes drift towards Kate and -
Just, fuck.
I swallow audibly, and Kate glances at me.
Keep it together, Cullen.
The waitress walks past Jake and Bella's table, and I reason I should walk past too. But wouldn't that be rude? What do we do? What are we supposed to do? I guess Jake takes the option away from us because he stands. I don't know why, because we don't even know each other.
But, then again, Jake probably knows Bella, and I are lab partners, so it'd be weird if we didn't acknowledge each other.
I come to a stop, almost automatically, and Kate stops too.
"Something wrong?" she asks.
Oh, yes, something is very wrong.
"No," I say anyway. "It's just that Bella's here," I tell her; "with her boyfriend."
She perks up almost immediately. "Oh yeah? So, I do get to meet her?"
"Apparently," I mutter under my breath.
Bella eventually stands as well, though she still looks somewhat shell-shocked. "Edward, hi," she says.
"Hey," I manage to say. "Date night?" I ask, somewhat unnecessarily.
"Indeed," Jake says.
There's a moment of silence, which alerts me to the fact I have to make the introductions now.
I clear my throat. "Kate, this is Bella, and Jake," I say, absently gesturing with my arm. "Uh," I stutter. "Jake, Bella, this is Kate, my girlfriend." I try not to cringe as I say the word. Jake gives Kate an appreciative look, before grinning knowingly at me. What a dog.
"Do you want to join us?" Jake asks, and my alarm registers at the same time Bella's does. Her eyes go wide, and I think she's going to say something, but Kate speaks first.
"We wouldn't want to interrupt," she says, as if she's actually considering it. No. Jesus Christ. Just, no.
"You wouldn't," Jake returns. "We were actually just discussing possibly going on a double date with two of Bella's friends, weren't we, babe?"
I cringe at the pet name, and Bella just looks like she's in shock. Yes, Bella, this shit is really happening.
"This'll be a trial run," Jake adds jokingly, before he pulls out a chair for Kate, who hesitates only a moment before sitting down. I apparently have no say in this, as I walk around the table and sit down opposite my girlfriend.
Oblivious to the calamity going on in Bella's head; Jake starts up a conversation, asking Kate what she does, where she's from and all the normal stuff. All the important questions only strangers ask. I glance nervously at Bella, but she's just staring at nothing; a nothing that must exist right in front of Kate's face. I think, until this point, Kate has been something that exists in another world to the ones Bella and I have created for ourselves.
But she's here now, and it's forcing us to stop kidding ourselves.
What we're doing is not okay.
"Should I get drinks?" Jake asks.
There's collective nodding, and he stands. He taps my shoulder, and we head to the bar together. Oh, fuck. What is happening right now? Jake makes small talk as we wait and I force myself not to look back at the table. What could the girls be talking about?
Jesus.
When we get back, Kate and Bella are talking about swimming. I'm surprised but also relieved they've chosen a safe topic. Jake joins in, and I try to pay attention. Bella sips at her Coke while we talk and I've got my Gatorade. Kate and Jake are drinking. They're older, I guess. I don't know.
At some point, two conversations occur: Jake and I, and Bella and Kate. It's odd, but I roll with it.
It's when Jake pushes the peanuts my way that Bella's eyes flick towards me, and when Kate suggests that Bella should definitely try out more vigorous sports, I glance her way. Our mouths open at the same time.
"He's allergic to peanuts," Bella says at the same time I say, "She has asthma."
We stare at each other for a moment, before we both let out nervous laughter. Jake gives her a curious look, and Kate's eyes never stray far from my face. I'm in so much shit once this night is over. I think it'd be okay if I'd actually told Kate that Bella existed, but the fact I've hidden her isn't playing in my favor.
It's awkward for a solid minute before I speak up.
"Do you want to dance?" I ask Kate.
She waits a beat before she nods. I stand immediately, and she follows. I want out of this situation right now. I have half a mind to lead her right out of this bar. I have a feeling I'm going to be making up for all of this in a big way when the night is over.
When we get to the dance floor, Kate's arms slip around my neck, and she hugs me to her. Her body is cool against mine, which is something I've always struggled to get used to. I wrap my own arms around her waist, and relax into her touch. I'm just glad she hasn't asked me anything more about Bella. I'll take this, I guess; this silence, this clinginess.
I don't notice Bella and Jake have joined us on the dance floor until I look up. They're a few feet away, their positions matching ours. Well, no. Jake's hands are somewhat inappropriately close to Bella's ass for out in public.
Not that I'm looking at her ass.
I drop my gaze, tightening my hold on Kate.
My girlfriend.
Who is here, to see me.
This is too much for me. Having Bella and Kate in the same place is confusing, and troubling. For so long, I've been able to keep them separate, but now they've been forced together, and my mind and body can't handle it.
And, when I look up again, my eyes searching for Bella; I'm not surprised to find that she's looking at me too.