Happy Thanksgiving for all those who celebrate! I'd like to take advantage of this festivity to thank all the captainswanbigbang mods for doing an amazing job organizing this event. I'd also like to express my gratitude to all those who have given this story a chance, thanks for your likes, comments, kudos and reblogs. It means the world to me.
I'd like to express my gratitude, as always, to my beta, Amy. I'm aware that you have had to deal with a monster of more than 100k words and English is not my mother tongue, so I value your effort even more.
Go visit Kate's blog and enjoy her amazing art. There is no specific art for this chapter, but the picset of the previous chapter also serves for this. In addition, the photo from Emma's Instagram account will be part of the fan art that Kate has created for an upcoming chapter.
Sara, thank you for everything.
CHAPTER 7
My dearest Emma,
I don't know how to start this letter... but I'll do my best. I don't even know if your adoptive parents have kept the name your mother chose for you. The social worker assured us that they had accepted, but I guess we'll always have that uncertainty. Anyway, for us, you will always be our Emma.
Today is a special day, your first birthday. I would like to send you my best wishes for this first celebration, the first of many, if only in the form of this letter, with the hope that perhaps one day, these words will come to you in one way or another.
Maybe we can establish a new tradition in our lives from now on, what do you think? Maybe we can take advantage of this special day to contact you through these little missives, to express how we feel in your absence, to convey that no matter how much time passes, you will always have a place in our hearts, Emma.
It's only been a year, but we've probably missed many of your most important milestones: your first smile, your first steps, maybe your first words. I hope your parents were able to immortalize those moments in some way. And maybe one day, you can help us to remember them through those images.
I would like to talk to you a little about us now. Your mother has already turned eighteen and has finally been able to leave the house of that evil woman, the person who managed to separate us from you. Now, she is living with us and nothing and nobody will be able to separate us - ever - despite all the obstacles that get in our way.
It's hard, though, to be separated from you and have no certainty of how you are, if you are growing up happy. I truly hope so and that with our act, we have managed to offer you a future. And maybe, in a few years, we will be part of that future as well.
Until then, I can only wish you a happy and full life.
Your father who loves you and never forgets you,
David.
Emma Swan. Storybrooke - December 9, 2017
The moment Killian came through the door to the classroom the following Saturday Emma knew something was wrong. As in the last class, the first thing he did was to look for her until their eyes met and he offered her a smile, but this time, his smile not only did not reach his eyes but it seemed forced.
Emma turned her gaze to the window on her left, and let her eyes roam the streets of Storybrooke, while a strange sensation settled in the pit of her stomach.
The images of their two shared kisses, those that she herself initiated, jumped into her mind at that moment as a reminder, or rather as a warning. Their dangerous game had begun at the moment when she, in a defiant and impulsive movement, had pulled him into a searing kiss, with the capacity of shaking her up and down both metaphorically and literally.
She had fled after throwing the " a one-time-thing " statement while cursing herself for letting her feelings, or rather, her physical impulses, cloud her reason.
She could not risk everything she had gotten when she decided to stay in Storybrooke, she should not let anything or anyone get too close to her heart since that would pose a threat, a possibility that it would be broken again.
But that damned Killian had gotten under her skin in such a way that she could not think of anything other than the softness of his lips against hers, his wrecked expression, his intense gaze bored into hers. She did not even need him to be in her presence, just a simple text sent by him or the memory of some of his explanations in his melodious voice were enough to make her body betray her, humming with a craving for more.
It was as if Storybrooke had weakened all her principles, causing the walls around her heart to begin to crack, as she had succumbed again to the temptation of his lips. And although she tried to convince herself, assuring herself that it was no more than a simple physical attraction, deep down she was aware that she was totally seduced by Killian.
Their second kiss had also been caused by an impulse. She could not bear to see the suffering reflected in his face, so she had acted in an almost desperate attempt to alleviate that suffering or at least make him forget for a moment.
Even though they had seen each other again after the kiss and his behavior had been the usual, perhaps he had understood her reluctance in the wrong way, or perhaps, even though she had not yet revealed much of herself, he had come to the conclusion that she was not worth the effort, maybe…
"Emma?"
The sound of a voice brought her back to reality. She straightened in her seat as her head turned in the direction of the sound, meeting Elsa and Anna and their inquiring looks, with a hint of concern in Elsa's eyes and one of amusement in her sister's.
"Are you okay?" Elsa asked quietly.
"Yeah, I got distracted." She mumbled a poor excuse, feeling a bit uncomfortable at their scrutiny.
"I bet I know the cause of your distraction." Anna said, tilting her head slightly in Killian's direction, her lips curled upward in a conspiratorial smile, as if they were sharing a secret, but to Emma, it meant that her sensation of uneasiness increased.
"Anna!" Elsa muttered under her breath, scolding her sister. Then she addressed Emma back. "Don't listen to her. We just wanted to know if you would like to join us to practice."
"To practice..." Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion as her gaze roamed around the classroom. In fact, the rest of the students had split up into teams and were beginning to manipulate their devices. Emma shifted uncomfortably in her seat wondering how long she had been lost in thought.
"We're practicing white balance." Elsa came to her rescue while giving her a soft smile.
Her sister, however, did not seem so diplomatic. "Wow, you were really distracted." She grinned at her as she cast a sidelong glance at Killian.
Was she really that obvious? She had to find out. "What do you mean?"
Anna rolled her eyes as she deliberately ignored her sister's warning look. "Do you remember that our ice cream parlor is in front of Granny's? We were witnesses of an intimate moment between you two on Sunday."
Emma felt a flush of embarrassment burning her cheeks as she wished to merge with her seat and disappear. She recovered rapidly though. No way was she going to show any hint of vulnerability to two people she barely knew. "It was just a kiss." She muttered in a dismissive tone while shrugging her shoulders. "And we'd better start practicing." She added in an attempt to change the subject.
Elsa nodded and grabbed her camera, but Anna did not seem to take the hint, much to her disgrace.
"Just a kiss?" She snorted, getting some heads to turn in her direction. "Are you kidding me? You two were making out." Emma opened her mouth to interrupt her, but Anna continued with her speech. "And it's not that I was stalking you, or anything like that. I was just waiting for Kristoff, but you two were giving quite the show out there." Emma's cheeks began to burn again as her desire to fade or run away increased. At least Anna was wise enough to mumble her words, but after a small pause to take a breath, she continued. "Isn't it the coolest thing? The teacher and the student sharing a romantic moment?"
"Anna - enough! Don't you see that you're making her feel uncomfortable?" Elsa hissed, coming to her rescue again. But Emma's relief was short-lived. After giving one last warning glance to her sister, Elsa turned to her, her lips drawing a shy smile. "I know it's none of my business, but you two make a beautiful couple, Emma."
"Ahem, ladies, I wouldn't like to interrupt your deep conversation, but it may be more convenient if you leave it for the end of the class. We have work to do now." This time it was Killian who came to her rescue, although his intervention did nothing to mitigate her embarrassment. In fact, it was quite the contrary, as Emma felt like a child receiving a reprimand after committing mischief.
At least his attention call got her teammates to finally leave her alone. It was almost comical to see how their contrite expressions matched as they both turned their eyes to their respective cameras.
Emma cast a sidelong glance at Killian, anxious and fearful of what she might find. When their eyes met, he cocked his head slightly and arched one of his eyebrows, as if he wanted to make sure she was okay.
She nodded silently, curling her lips into a small smile. To her relief, Killian returned a genuine smile, while his eyes remained locked with her own, causing a warm sensation to spread to her heart, making the previous tension and uncertainty fade away.
The rest of the class continued smoothly. Once the two sisters decided to leave behind their gossip and focus on photography, Emma found herself enjoying the practice. Both, Elsa and Anna, were pleasant company and seemed to have a genuine interest in learning. She was grateful to feel included in a group, to be part of something, contrary to what happened in the first class.
The class came to an end without Emma hardly noticing. Reluctant to leave so soon, she took her time collecting her belongings as she watched the others leave the classroom.
The last ones to leave were the two sisters and Emma tensed instantly, fearing that they would try to hook her into an embarrassing conversation again. That did not happen though, since Elsa practically dragged her sister towards the exit. Before leaving, both turned and waved, while Anna pointed her head in a non-subtle gesture towards Killian. After Elsa's last gentle pull, both finally disappeared from her sight.
Killian didn't seem to be in a hurry to leave either, since he remained in his seat, his gaze focusing on some files on his desk. After taking a deep breath, Emma slung the camera bag over one shoulder and approached him.
"I'm sorry for what happened before," she commented, pointing to her seat as she looked at him from under her lashes.
When Killian looked up and met her gaze, she swallowed and licked her lips instinctively, cursing inwardly at the power he had over her. Only an intense look on his part was enough for her to get lost in his stormy blue eyes. But if he also smiled at her the way he was smiling now, she lost all ability to function properly. Bastard.
"It's okay, lass." He replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. "The only reason I interrupted the conversation was because you didn't seem especially comfortable."
"Thank you… I guess."
They remained silent for a few seconds, while Killian got up and began to gather his belongings. Emma stood there, hesitating whether to leave or wait for him, but then she caught a shadow darkening his expression, just as at the beginning of the class.
It was then that she remembered something. Killian had told her that he would talk to his friends to clear things up. Maybe that conversation hadn't gone well?
"Are you... Are you okay? You seem a little off."
Killian's face softened instantly. "Everything is fine, love. A little tired, that's all." Killian assured her in a tone that seemed convincing, but that did not quite reassure her, not when his smile did not reach his eyes.
"You managed to fix things with your friends?" Emma insisted, because that was what friends were supposed to do, right? Try to comfort each other. Although she was not sure that this was the most appropriate way to bring up the subject. She needed practice in the friendship thing, a concept still so new to her.
"Aye, we did." Killian hurried to answer, his lips twisted in an attempt at a smile as he reached behind his ear to scratch. "It was a long time ago, I was just a child, that's why they didn't tell me, but everything is fine now."
There was more than that. Emma could tell by the way he turned his gaze away slightly as if he felt uncomfortable in some way. But she would not push, it was not her business, after all. "I'm glad to hear that." She said simply.
She did not want to leave, but she did not have any excuse to stay either. For that reason, she started walking towards the exit door. "I better go. See you on Tuesday?"
"Wait, I'm leaving, too." Killian grabbed the backpack and started walking in her direction. "In fact, I'm hungry. Do you mind accompanying me to Granny's to get a bite?"
Killian dropped the invitation in a nonchalant tone, as if it had just occurred to him, but the glint in his eyes and that damn smile of his indicated something different. So, even at the risk of continuing to fall into his clutches, she accepted. "Yeah, I'm starving."
It was the moment they arrived at the diner and Ruby received them with a smirk while she arched her eyebrows meaningfully when Emma realized that this encounter was the closest thing to a date she had had in years. This time, the photography lessons had not acted as an excuse, nor was there a need to vent. Emma ignored both Ruby and those thoughts and instead dragged Killian to one of the more distant booths.
Emma had been honest with Killian when she assured him she wanted them to know each other. But the walls around her heart had been up for so long that it was difficult for her to find a crack that would allow her to open up. And this improvised meal would allow just that, a small step on the way to open, a means to share more moments with Killian.
So, she left all her worries behind and focused on Killian. It was not a complicated task, honestly, especially when both shared the same passion for photography. Inevitably, the conversation ended up leading to that topic, although she did not mind in the least, especially when that meant listening completely enthralled as Killian told her some of his experiences as a war reporter.
She was aware that Killian's experiences were far from the fantasy of a movie, that he had witnessed traumatic events and had had to immortalize the terror of other people. Perhaps thanks to his expressiveness or the cadence he endowed his voice with, or perhaps thanks to the content of his experiences - a mix of adventure, risk, and action, his explanations allowed her mind to travel with him to get an idea of what it would be like to live on the edge and feel the adrenaline running continuously through her veins. It was a way to add some emotion to her monotonous life, even if it was through someone else's experience.
He was in the middle of one of his stories when something seemed to catch his attention, causing him to fall into silence suddenly while his body tensed and his gaze traveled to the entrance.
She turned in the same direction, looking for what could have produced that sudden change in him. What she found left her somewhat confused. Killian's friends, the Nolans, had just entered the premises and after waving their hands in greeting, they went straight to their booth, their faces adorned with warm smiles.
"Hey, guys, what a surprise to see you here!" Mary Margaret said in an enthusiastic tone, as soon as they got to where they were sat, while her smile grew wider.
"Hi!" Emma responded by offering a tentative smile, not quite sure how to act, since, although she knew the couple by sight, they had never been introduced before.
There was a small, awkward moment while they remained standing there, their smiles not disappearing from their faces as they glanced at Killian, who seemed lost for a second until finally, he reacted.
After clearing his throat and scratching behind his ear, he made the appropriate introductions. It was evident that the tension had not disappeared from his body, but Emma did not have time to evaluate his strange behavior since, without hardly noticing, she was surrounded by Mary Margaret's arms in an unexpected embrace.
Emma was slow to react, stiffening at first, surprised by so much effusiveness for a stranger, not yet accustomed to so much physical contact.
"It's a pleasure to be able to meet you properly at last, Emma." Mary Margaret did not seem to notice her stiffness, because the hug persisted a couple of seconds more as Emma patted her back tentatively.
Luckily, she did not have to repeat the same action with her husband. David simply offered her his hand while giving her a gentle smile. "It's a pleasure for me too, Emma."
Killian interrupted them then, "We're in the middle of lunch. Would you like to join us?" His voice trailed off, while he directed his gaze to her, "Do you mind if...?
"Sure, it's not a problem at all." Emma assured as she moved to make room for Mary Margaret. David chose to sit next to his friend.
All of them remained silent for a few seconds, only broken by Ruby, who came over to take note of their orders. Before leaving in the direction of the kitchen, Ruby gave her another meaningful look, which she deliberately ignored. She would have time for explanations later.
"How was the class today?" Mary Margaret was the first to break the ice, her gaze traveling from Emma to Killian. After listening more carefully, Emma realized something curious. Despite being American, there was a slight hint of a British accent in Mary Margaret's voice, acquired after so many years living in London.
"Killian has told us a lot about you and your talent." David added, not giving her time to answer his wife's question.
A soft blush crawled up her cheeks, while Emma tossed uncomfortably in her seat. "Killian has also told me about you both. It's good to be able to meet you at last."
She was not accustomed to receiving compliments and even less to others talking among themselves to praise her. It was such a new feeling that she did not really know how to react. "And as for my supposed talent, it's not a big deal, I just push the button and sometimes I'm lucky to capture a good image." She shrugged as she glanced at Killian.
To her surprise, Killian rolled his eyes, the corners of his lips rising slightly. "Since it seems you don't believe in an expert's word, let's see what another expert in the field has to say." Killian teased as he grabbed her camera. "May I?"
She nodded as she held her breath. Of course, David would also be an expert in photography, how could she have forgotten? He was the director of the local newspaper, for God's sake. Her stomach tightened in knots of anticipation, feeling nervous about what David might think.
"We've practiced the white balance today." Killian explained to his friend as he showed him the photos she had taken a while before. David frowned professionally as he studied the photos intently, causing her nerves to increase.
"They could spend hours observing or taking photographs." Mary Margaret muttered to her side as she offered her a knowing smile. "But I don't need to see your photographs to be certain of your talent. Killian has that special ability to discover hidden potentials, so if he's sure, so am I."
There was something about Mary Margaret - maybe her soft voice, or her kind expression. Whatever it was, Emma felt enveloped in a sense of reliability and security. Emma smiled back in gratitude, feeling comfortable enough to trust them. "According to Killian, now I just have to learn to use that talent."
"And he's right." David confirmed, still holding a professional expression, though his eyes showed a glimpse of something deeper than Emma could not identify. "There are good pictures there and that was just a practice. If you really like photography, you should continue practicing and learning. And listen to the professionals." Despite the content, his last words did not sound like a reprimand, but rather as a joke - at least she interpreted it as so by his casual tone and the wide smile that he directed at her, leaving behind his professional attitude.
Still, that did not stop her cheeks from blushing again. Fortunately, Ruby arrived at that moment bringing the dishes ordered by the Nolans. When Ruby left, everyone seemed to forget about her and her damned talent, focusing instead on food.
The food acted as a catalyst though, and after a brief pause, a new conversation about Storybrooke and the few places that offered food began.
With the passing of the minutes, Emma felt more and more comfortable with the Nolans, and even Killian seemed more relaxed surrounded by his friends. She did not miss the effort they put into making her feel included in the conversation. The affection and familiarity they felt for Killian and he for them was evident, but the trust between them, far from making her feel excluded, caused her curiosity about these two most important people for Killian to increase. It was as if, knowing as much as possible about the Nolans brought her even closer to Killian.
Maybe that's why she made an effort to improve her social skills by being open and participative.
"So, after so many years living far away, what made you return to Storybrooke?"
Suddenly, Killian started coughing repeatedly. Emma narrowed her eyes in confusion, noting how his cheeks had turned a reddish color, his eyes watering. David was gently tapping his back while Mary Margaret watched him with a worried expression.
"Are you okay?" Emma asked, unable to hide the concern in her voice, as she reached for his hand instinctively.
"Aye, love." Killian managed to respond in a hoarse voice between coughs, while trying to catch his breath. "I just choked because of the bloody beer."
After a few seconds, Killian seemed to recover enough though the tension had returned to his shoulders, making the suspicions that something was wrong to increase.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked again, her eyes never leaving his face.
"Aye, lass, just a little tired, that's all." He assured through a weak smile that once again did not reach his eyes.
"You should rest, which means that the time has come to leave." Mary Margaret gestured to David for him to get up, then she turned to Emma. "It has been a real pleasure to chat with you, Emma. I hope we can repeat it soon." Her soft expression and voice seemed to indicate a genuine interest in knowing her, which had the ability to warm her heart.
David also offered a gentle smile before addressing his friend. "Go home and rest, I'll call you later."
Only when they disappeared through the door did Emma realize that they had not answered her question. Something told her, however, that she would have a new opportunity soon. Suddenly, the possibility of adding two more friends to her, rather short list, did not seem bad at all.
Storybrooke woke up the following Saturday covered by a thick white blanket. Emma chose her favorite place in her apartment, a small bench under the window that opened in the kitchen, to contemplate the first major snowfall of the season, while holding a cup of steaming coffee in her hands, wrapped in her favorite blanket. It was kind of perfect.
She could sit for hours watching the inexorable fall of the snowflakes. It was almost magical, and also calming, to see how the landscape transformed into a huge white canvas.
Suddenly, the need to immortalize that magical landscape took hold of her, so Emma placed the cup on the kitchen countertop and grabbed the camera. After making the adjustments that she believed were necessary, she began to shoot.
The calm did not last long, though. The moment she realized the time, she jumped as she hurried to her bedroom. She had been so absorbed in the snow that she had lost track of time. If she didn't hurry, she would be late for the photography class.
The little peace that still remained completely disappeared at the moment when she went out and discovered that her bug was covered by a thick layer of snow.
She huffed in annoyance while raising her eyes to the sky. But she was not willing to let anything, not even the inclemency of the weather, make her mood worse, so, after she armed herself with a little patience and resigned to being late, she began to work to unearth her vehicle.
Twenty minutes later, Emma hurried into the classroom, trying to catch her breath, while noticing how a flush spread through her body from the exercise. "I'm sorry... the snow." She muttered an excuse, not bothering to look at Killian, walking to her seat as she began to remove her beanie and other outerwear.
"It isn't necessary for you to take off your coat, lass. In fact, you don't even need to sit down. We're leaving right now."
Emma stopped short, turning around to, this time, look at Killian, unable to hide the confusion on her face. "What?"
"Given that it's indispensable for a photographer to use the resources available or to be able to work in unfavorable circumstances, I thought we could practice taking pictures of the snow." Killian explained in that particular tone of his, with the ability to enrapture anyone who was listening to him. "In addition, we're lucky that I have found a spot in the nearby park which hasn't yet been altered. The white blanket remains intact, or at least it was ten minutes ago, so we better get going, before it's too late and someone ruins our work material."
All the others hummed in agreement, as they picked up their belongings, got up and started heading towards the exit. Emma, however, remained standing awkwardly, still recovering from the race to get to class on time.
"And remember guys, we must take special care with our devices in adverse weather conditions. We don't want our cameras to suffer any damage, do we?" Killian warned his students, earning some nods in response before everyone left the classroom, only she and him remained.
"Sorry, my car was buried by the snow." Emma made a new attempt at apology the moment they were left alone, while Killian approached her, causing the butterflies in her stomach to begin fluttering.
"It's okay, Swan, I figured it." His lips twisted upwards, drawing a frank smile, to her relief. All the weirdness of the previous Saturday seemed to have vanished from his features. Everything had gone well also in Tuesday's practice, his strange previous behavior seemed therefore to be an isolated event.
"There's another thing." He added as if he had just remembered it. "I have decided to invite the students, and you too, of course, to have a drink at Granny's this evening as compensation for my absence a few weeks ago, and also in celebration, since this is the last class of the year."
Emma realized at that moment, that the Christmas break meant they would not see each other and therefore, wouldn't continue with practices for three weeks. Her heart tightened a bit at that prospect, which did nothing to improve her dislike for this particular holiday. "You mean like a pre-Christmas party or something?" She asked, unable to prevent a hint of slight disappointment from slipping into her voice.
Clearly, he had noticed her discomfort since he did not respond immediately. Instead, he cocked his head and stared at her, as if he were studying her. "Look at it this way, it will be like an extra class since we will practice social photos." Killian offered through a half smile, his eyes never leaving her own.
He was so close that she could almost touch him. In other circumstances, or with another person, she would have been immediately intimidated by the invasion of her personal space. With Killian however, she had to repress the impulse to pull him closer to her. She was no longer sure if that need to feel him that close came from the momentary intimacy they were in, from the possibility that they were to be separated for three weeks, or simply from her undeniable attraction to him. But she had learned that lesson and had decided not to act impulsively again. Now it was up to him when he would decide to make the next move.
Fortunately, Killian had brought up their lifeline, photography, so she clung to that. She rolled her eyes in an attempt to hide how she was affected by his mere proximity. "You always have photography in mind, don't you?" She continued before he could reply. "And no, don't come with the excuse of sleep, because I'm sure you also dream of cameras and photos."
The way he chuckled caused tiny wrinkles to appear in the corners of his eyes, while his dimples deepened in a way too adorable for his own good or hers, given the matter.
"Well, lass," his tongue darted out to lick his lips once the laughter subsided. "I can assure you my dreams are plagued in most occasions by other activities even more pleasurable." His silky voice, almost purring, caused a liquid heat to travel to her very core while her mind decided to act on her own, imagining the content of those possible wild dreams.
The bastard knew the effect he was having on her. His lips drew a wide smirk while he reached out his hand, his fingers barely brushing her cheek. She held her breath, her skin tingling in anticipation, her gaze lost in the blue depth of his eyes. "Have I ever told you that I find particularly endearing the way your cheeks blush?"
His touch was as light as a feather, only a faint pressure of his fingertips touching her skin, but that was enough for a chill to run through her body, while her heart threatened to come out of her chest. A furious flush crawled down her neck to her cheeks, as Killian's touch became more intense, causing her instinctively to tilt her head so that it rested on his hand.
The sound of approaching footsteps broke the moment, causing both to jump while Killian withdrew his hand from her face as if it was burning.
"Oh, sorry, guys." It was Elsa the one to blame for the interruption. The poor girl seemed a little embarrassed when she entered the classroom, not daring to look at them. "I... I haven't seen anything, I just forgot my beanie." She muttered as she grabbed the garment and made her way back to the exit. Before leaving though, Elsa looked at her and gave her a soft smile of, she supposed, approval.
The small interruption allowed her to regain some composure. "At least it's not the worst she's seen of us." Now it was her turn to be smirking at him. Two could play the same game. She stuffed her hands in the back pockets of her jeans as she closed the distance between them.
She noticed his Adam's apple bobbing, while his brows knitted together in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Her ice cream parlor is right in front of Granny's and she may have witnessed our little dalliance." She shrugged as she chewed on her bottom lip in a mischievous way. His gaze immediately strayed from her eyes to her lips while his pupils dilated. "And now, maybe it would be better if we leave, in case someone else comes looking for the professor." She wrapped the last word around her tongue making it sound almost indecent.
After offering him one last tempting smile, she turned around in the direction of the door. While walking, she heard a soft groan followed by a broken " bloody hell " making her grin to widen. She was playing a dangerous game, she was aware of it, but for the first time in a long time, she wasn't afraid of the flames of the game burning her, or rather, she didn't mind being consumed by the fire that she was sure Killian Jones kept inside.
The walk to the park took only a few minutes. When they reached the spot chosen by Killian, Emma couldn't prevent a soft gasp from sliding between her lips, pleasantly surprised to observe the landscape they had before them. A long, white blanket covered the entire surface of the park while the branches of nearby trees also appeared laden with snow. Despite the cold, there was a kind of calm around them, as if time had frozen in the course of the snowfall, drawing a picture that seemed taken from a fairy tale.
She turned her head around to check the reaction of the rest of the students. They seemed equally dazed by the sight of it, all of them gazing silently with wide eyes and slightly open mouths.
It was funny, because Emma was sure that, in other circumstances, this landscape would have gone totally unnoticed by most of them, all too engaged in their daily routine to pay much attention to what was happening around them. But now that they had begun to observe the world through a lens and through Killian's eyes, an infinite number of possibilities opened up before them, allowing them to find beauty in something as dull as a town park.
"Well, guys, I see that the landscape has really left you a little impressed, that's good." Killian addressed them in that professional yet close tone that had Emma completely mesmerized. "Inspiration is the first step to getting good photographs, but remember, we're dealing with snow. The beauty of a snowy landscape is undeniable, but it can also be an added difficulty for us, the photographers."
"Because of the light." Aurora offered tentatively.
"Very good, lass." Killian gave her his most charming smile, causing the girl's cheeks to blush slightly. It was evident that most of the students had fallen under the spell of Killian since, where before there was hardly any interest, now there was a real desire to learn. "Indeed, snow is a great reflector of light, so if we want to achieve the desired effect, we must, amongst other factors, apply the correct exposure compensation."
Killian continued explaining, walking among them to make sure everyone was able to get the correct parameters before starting to take pictures.
Leroy, though, seemed to be losing patience since, a few minutes later, he snapped, "Come on - we're talking about white snow... it can't really be that hard to get a decent picture."
Killian stopped, turning to him as he tilted his head slightly and crossed his arms over his chest. His face seemed unperturbed, but she could feel his tension in the way the muscle in his jaw twitched slightly. "Go ahead - show us." He replied with an even voice while holding his hand out as if to emphasize his words.
Leroy seemed intimidated, both by the challenge that had fallen on him and by the scrutiny he was being subjected to by the others. Emma could not deny that she was enjoying the scene, since Leroy would show himself up the moment he took a photo in automatic mode.
He grabbed his camera and, after casting a defiant look at Killian, shifted his eyes to the viewer without bothering to touch the controls. He took a couple of shots and then observed the results on the screen.
"Well?" Killian asked, a slight hint of annoyance in his voice.
Leroy kept his eyes on the screen for a few more seconds until, finally, he rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of defeat. "The snow is gray." He admitted reluctantly.
"See? This is a clear example that we should never rely on automatic mode, not when we have so many resources at our disposal. Why should not we use them?" To his credit, Killian not only did not kick the guy when he was down, but he channeled what happened to continue teaching them. Her admiration for him grew at times.
The moment Killian gave the go-ahead, they started taking pictures. Although it might be contradictory, the action of pressing the button and immortalizing the moment was always relaxing for her. It was as if she lost track of time when her eyesight remained fixed on her camera's viewfinder. Today was not going to be an exception either since, almost without her noticing, Killian began to evaluate their results.
Emma watched as he dedicated the same time to all his students, offering smiles of encouragement as he praised them well for their effort, or for the good result obtained. She also observed how Tink, the only other single girl in the group along with Elsa and herself, lingered during her interactions with Killian, while maintaining an attitude that was perhaps too close, a wide smile and a fluttering of lashes included.
A strange sensation, which she did not dare to name, settled in the pit of her stomach while she did not miss any of their movements. That pull faded though when his eyes fell on Emma, his lips drawing that special smile, just for her.
"Excellent job, lass, as usual." He commented after contemplating her photographs. He held her gaze for a few more seconds, causing the flutter in her stomach to become more intense until finally, he cleared his throat and addressed the others. "And now, guys, I know you're looking forward to it. You can go play in the snow." Indeed, it seemed that all of them had been waiting for the words because, at that moment, they started running as if they were little children who had discovered the snow for the first time.
"And don't forget to protect your cameras!" He shouted at them in warning before they got too far away.
A laugh bubbled in the back of Emma's throat at the surreal scene, the landscape no longer intact, but full of life now. She was about to make a comment about it to Killian when both Elsa and Anna hooked each of one of her arms. Before being dragged, literally, by the two sisters, Emma offered Killian one last look and an apologetic smile, to which he replied with a smile on his own and a nod of his head.
Emma let herself be carried away by the enthusiasm of the others, participating in group photos, making selfies and even she decided to also collaborate in the construction of a snowman whom Elsa, who loved the snow, decided to name Olaf . Even Leroy had left behind his permanent state of grumpiness and Archie, usually serious and the voice of reason, let himself loose a little by joining the others in their games.
She enjoyed more than she imagined, sharing laughs, jokes and knowing glances. She felt lighter, as if she had let part of her baggage escape, while the sense of belonging that had appeared the moment she arrived at Storybrooke became more intense.
Emma was so entertained that didn't realize at first that Killian hadn't joined their improvised snow party. It was Elsa who pointed at him, "What is he doing?" she asked, gesturing towards somewhere behind Emma's back. She turned to follow the direction of her gaze and found Killian, camera in hand, leaning slightly forward while he seemed to try to focus something.
Her eyes narrowed in confusion first and then widened in surprise when Emma realized what he was trying to do. The lens he was using, a macro if she was correct, was the one that gave her the clue.
"He's trying to make a photo of a snowflake." Emma commented almost in awe, unable to hide the pride she felt. She did not need to see the picture to know that it would be perfect.
"Wow, really?" It seemed that she was not the only one affected by Killian's talent, if the hint of admiration in Elsa's voice was indicative.
The fact that he was using his left arm and his prosthesis as if it were something natural in him warmed her heart. His initial reluctance to use the prosthesis seemed completely forgotten. She was not an expert on the subject but Emma sensed that one of the first steps to recovery after a traumatic event was adaptation and acceptance, and Killian seemed to be on the right track.
Almost without realizing it, she was holding the camera and pointing it towards him, immortalizing the way he was working. That was when Killian noticed her, looking away from the viewfinder, searching her eyes.
"Will you show me the result?" Emma asked as she approached him.
"Uh... I think it's better if we wait to see it on a larger screen, and I should also edit the image..."
Emma rolled her eyes at Killian's sudden reluctance. "Let me see if I've understood correctly. You're telling me you just made a picture of a snowflake and you're not going to let me see it. Seriously?" She rushed towards him in an attempt to grab the camera, but he was faster. Before she reached him, he raised the arm that held the device, leaving it out of her reach.
"Oh, come on!" She scoffed while pursing her lips. "I need practical examples if I want to learn how to make these kinds of photos." She did not give up, moving even closer to him, only inches away.
"Uh, maybe this was all I wanted." He leaned and whispered into her ear, his breath caressing her skin and causing a chill to run down her body. "It's freezing here, Swan. I needed a source of heat."
"You don't need to use a poor excuse for that, you know." She suggested, shooting him a provocative look from under her lashes. Indeed, it was as if the temperature had risen several degrees in the last seconds. "Could you show me the picture, please?" Her voice slipped between her lips in a soft murmur, causing the blue color to almost disappear from his eyes as his tongue peeked out of the corner of his mouth in an almost indecent way.
For a moment, Emma forgot where they were, but the background noise of the other students brought them back to reality. Killian cleared his throat and, without separating from her, lowered his hand. "If you ask me that way..." He grinned at her before handing her the camera. Any chance of retort died on her lips the moment her eyes fell on the picture, leaving her speechless. Emma was amazed to see the small details and the defined geometric shape that had been captured in the image. It was like contemplating a tiny gem that nature offered them. "I want to learn how to take pictures like that." She muttered under her breath, unable to look away from the screen.
"The lens does practically all the work, actually. You wanna try?" Killian offered in a soft voice.
Of course she wanted to try. But before she had time to look through the viewfinder to locate a snowflake, Killian suddenly wrapped his arms around her and turned her, standing just behind her. "What the hell?" The moment she heard the impact of a snowball against Killian's coat, she realized what was happening.
Killian turned around again, keeping her behind him. "What did I say, guys? Be careful with the cameras!" He yelled, clearly annoyed.
"Sorry, Mr. Jones, it was not my intention." Emma recognized Robin's voice in that sincere apology.
"Your aim is just awful, mate!"
"Oh, shut up, Will!" Emma stuck her head out from behind Killian to see what was happening, it seemed like they all were involved in a snowball fight. Her heart skipped a beat since that was one of the activities she longed for the most as a child when winter came. Unfortunately, there were not many children willing to play with her in those years, so she always had ended up frustrated. But that was not going to happen today, Emma thought with determination.
She left the shelter offered by Killian, standing in front of him and helping to put their respective cameras in the protective bags, placing them on a nearby bench, far enough from where the rest were playing. "Thank you for your act of gentlemanliness. Now, it's time for a revenge. You wanna join me?"
"Actually I was protecting my camera." He admitted while scratching behind his ear. "But I am always a gentleman." He hastened to add, his lips drawing a smirk. "Even so, I would prefer not to be included in the snowball fight. I'm at a bit of a disadvantage here." The light tone in his voice and the half smirk on his face seemed to indicate that he was joking, but Emma also detected a certain truth in his eyes.
"Please, that's the worst excuse I've ever heard." Emma rolled her eyes, while bending down quickly and grabbing a handful of snow, squeezing it lightly with one hand to give it consistency. Then, without giving him time to react, she threw the snowball hitting him in the chest. "See?"
She knew that she had acted correctly when he gave her a wild look while muttering, "You just started a dangerous game, Swan." This time it was she who received the impact on one shoulder. The war had begun.
And what a war! During the following minutes, they became fully involved in the game, sometimes as allies and other times as opponents, throwing snowballs, or receiving hits, running to protect themselves or to reach their target faster. Such was the intensity that they were depositing in the game that the poor Olaf, who stood in the middle of the battlefield suffered the consequences, being knocked down when Robin fell on it in an attempt to protect himself from an impact.
She did not remember having so much fun in her life, to the point that her stomach ached from laughing so much.
Killian also seemed to have the time of his life, if the perpetual smile on his lips, the brighter than ever sparkle in his eyes, and his cheeks flushed as much by the exercise as by the cold were indicative enough. If he was already very handsome, now he was irresistible. For that reason, she tried to stay away from him, since he did not trust herself.
In the end, everyone ended up exhausted, their clothes soaked and Emma was sure that the next day all her muscles would ache and she would have marks of different impacts all over her body, but it would have been worth it, without a doubt. The adrenaline rush had allowed her to release tensions and the game had made her feel even closer to the rest of the students. In fact, after the sad fate of Olaf, they decided to rebuild it, all of them working as a team while she was the person designated to take pictures of the action.
They were engaged in the task when she heard footsteps approaching. She turned to see who had dared to go for a walk despite the cold and snow. Her eyes widened in surprise when she met the Nolans right in front of her, holding hands.
"Oh, what a surprise! What are you doing here, guys?" Mary Margaret asked politely, her lips drawing a soft smile.
"Hi! Killian thought it was a good idea to go out and take pictures of the snowy landscape. Let's say we got carried away a bit by the circumstances." She commented, her smile matching hers, as she turned her head, looking for Killian.
Her smile faltered a little when she realized that Killian's previously relaxed features had now subtly darkened and his shoulders seemed tense. Emma frowned, surprised at the change in his attitude, but calmed down at once when the corners of his lips lifted up drawing a smile while he waved at them.
Maybe it was just a figment of her imagination since she was over-analyzing all his reactions, fearing the possibility that the shoe would drop at some point. Emma shook her head slightly, burying those thoughts in some hidden corner of her brain and instead focused on Mary Margaret and David.
"I can see that. You're doing an excellent job with that snowman." David chuckled softly and, after giving her a warm smile, went to greet Killian and help them in the construction.
"So, have you gone for a walk?" Emma asked Mary Margaret, genuinely interested.
"Yeah, in fact, despite the cold, the mornings after an intense snowfall are the days when I prefer to go for a walk. It's as if everything is calm, as if time had suddenly frozen. It's overwhelming and beautiful at the same time, something I missed back in London where life moves much faster than here." The longing was evident in Mary Margaret's voice and Emma could also detect a spark of sadness in her eyes. But what surprised her most, to the point of a warm sensation spreading through her body, was the fact that the two of them had the same thought about the snowy landscapes. She felt an instant connection to that woman she barely knew.
"I was thinking the same thing when Killian brought us to this place. It's like magic, really." Emma confirmed offering a smile of understanding.
They kept a light chat for a bit while Mary Margaret watched the others work and Emma took pictures. At some point, almost without realizing it, Emma looked away from the viewfinder and instead focused on Killian and all his movements. He, on the other hand, looked at her from time to time, offering her his most captivating smile every time their eyes met, causing the butterflies in her stomach to flutter hard.
Out of the corner of her eye, Emma noticed how Mary Margaret's sight traveled from her to Killian, while she kept a thoughtful expression until her eyes widened suddenly, as if she had just realized something.
"Oh my god! You like Killian! And he likes you!" Mary Margaret almost screamed with excitement, causing Emma's heart to nearly stop at that very moment.
"What?" It was the only thing she managed to say before her throat went dry and a furious blush crept from her neck to her cheeks.
"Sorry, I didn't..." Mary Margaret's voice trailed off, while she seemed clearly embarrassed. "I mean... I had never seen Killian so happy, and you have that expression on your face as if..." Mary Margaret paused again, as if trying to find the right word. Emma held her breath, not entirely sure she wanted to continue listening to her. "... as if there were no one else around."
Emma looked away immediately as her cheeks burned even more and she wanted a hole to open beneath her feet and carry her away. She felt like a teenager who had been caught with her first crush. She was really that obvious? She schooled her features so as not to betray any more of her feelings.
But there was something else in Mary Margaret's words, something that on one hand warmed her heart, but on the other, caused a pull of fear to settle in her stomach. The fact that Killian's happiness could depend on her was a great responsibility, something she was not sure she could carry properly.
"We're just getting to know each other." She muttered, not daring to look at Mary Margaret.
"That's good."
They remained silent for a few seconds while she raised the camera again, using it as an excuse to keep busy.
"So, the meetings on Tuesdays are not merely academic, are they? Are they also a way to get to know each other better?" Mary Margaret asked tentatively, not willing to leave the topic of conversation just yet. Sensing her discomfort, she added. "I'm sorry, really. It's not my intention to make you feel uncomfortable, it's just that... this is what we've always wanted for him, that he can finally move on, and it seems that this time he's on his way to achieving it."
"It's okay..." Emma shrugged, as a wave of gratitude washed over her, at the way she seemed to care about Killian. Emma wondered how he had any inkling of doubt about their affection for him. "It seems that we have a lot in common and we understand each other."
When Emma looked at Mary Margaret, she found an unexpected emotion in her features and a special glow in her eyes which she could not identify, but it was as if she was looking at her with tenderness and understanding, making her feel a little overwhelmed, but at the same time also safe, offering a feeling that she could trust these people.
Emma offered her a half smile and then turned her gaze back to Killian. When their eyes met, her heart skipped a beat. She did not care if it was destiny or just coincidence, but she could not be more grateful to have crossed paths with Killian and for once, she allowed herself to dream and trust that maybe this time her heart was not going to be affected, at least not in the wrong way.
Theladyswan Sometimes, a simple snowfall can offer you much more than a white blanket covering everything. Sometimes it means flushed cheeks, bright eyes and traveling to the past, becoming a child again. Sometimes it means a snow fight or working as a team to create our new friend, Olaf. Sometimes a simple snowflake may contain more beauty than the most precious jewel. Thank you for helping me discover all this and appreciate the small details.
"I kissed him. Twice." Emma snapped, not taking the time to assess the consequences of her confession. She had arrived at Granny's early, intending to talk to Ruby. After the brief talk with Mary Margaret, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about Killian and a possible relationship with him, but all this was so new to her that she found herself in need of venting with someone and the most appropriate option was her friend.
"You did what?" Ruby asked, wide eyes.
"Who did you kiss?" Another voice asked almost in unison - Graham, arriving at the most inopportune moment.
Emma bit back a groan and suppressed the urge to bury her head in her arms. This wasn't how she had thought the conversation would unfold. Graham took the stool next to her, implying that he wasn't planning to leave anytime soon. They both stared at her, one with an amused expression and the other with a slight frown.
Since she couldn't swallow back her words, she had no choice but to give an explanation, so, after letting out a long sigh of resignation, she continued speaking.
"I kissed Killian."
"That's my girl!" Ruby's face split into a giant grin as she lifted her hand for a high five. "I want all the details."
"Wait, wait, wait ... You mean the instructor?" Graham's eyebrows knitted together as he gave her an inquisitive look.
In response, Emma shrugged and wrinkled her nose.
"Oh" It was all Graham said at first. Then he brought his hands to his heart, while his features twisted in an overdramatic gesture. "You wound me, Emma. What does that guy have that I don't?" Although it was evident that he was feigning his annoyance, Emma could detect a hint of disappointment in his voice. Fortunately, she did not have to answer since Ruby came immediately to her rescue.
"Oh, come on, as if you didn't have eyes for another blonde who sells ice cream." Ruby smirked at him as she arched one of her eyebrows, causing Graham's cheeks to turn pink while his eyes cast down to the floor.
This was new... "You mean Elsa? Is that why you switched coffee for frozen yogurt?" Ruby chuckled as she lifted her hand for a new high five. Emma, instead, pressed her lips together, suppressing the laughter that threatened to escape. Graham looked truly mortified, as if he wanted to vanish right then, or flee away.
A pull of affection for him washed over her. It was quite adorable to see how the responsible and impassive sheriff lost his composure revealing how much that crush affected him.
"I believe we were talking about you, not me." He grunted as he pursed his lips, adding even more cuteness to the scene.
"He's right." Ruby agreed, of course. "So, two kisses and nothing else? What from now on?"
Emma shrugged, taking a deep breath. "I don't know... It's complicated." She admitted reluctantly.
"Complicated... You like him, he likes you. I don't see any complications there." The way Ruby put it made it really simple, but something else caught her attention.
"So, do you think he likes me?" She bit her lower lip, hating the vulnerability reflected in her voice.
"Oh, come on, Emma, everyone can see it." Ruby rolled her eyes and then looked at Graham for confirmation. He nodded, his lips drawing a small smile. "You just have to see the way he looks at you, honey." Ruby's features softened, as she reached out and squeezed her arm gently. "Listen, we know that you're a reserved person, and even though you don't talk much about your past, it's obvious that you've got a broken heart, but also, you've told us more than once that getting to Storybrooke changed your life. Now is the time to give your heart a chance to heal, don't you think?"
A warm feeling traveled directly to her heart, while she was extremely grateful for Ruby's words. She couldn't help to wonder how she had been so lucky to finally find two true friends who cared so much about her. She blinked a couple of times holding back the tears that threatened to spill.
"Speaking of the devil..." Graham whispered, his head pointing subtly towards the door. "Go get your chance, Emma." He winked at her, his lips curled into a smile of encouragement.
Emma turned her head to look for Killian. His face lit up at the moment their eyes met, his bright smile acting like a dart straight at her heart. She was so fucked up...
Before going to meet him, Emma sent a smile of gratitude to her friends, approaching Graham and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, guys, you're the best. By the way, maybe a blonde who sells ice cream will appear around here soon." The last thing she saw before getting up and going to meet Killian was how Graham's cheeks blushed again, while Ruby smirked at both of them, clearly enjoying the scene.
Emma couldn't deny that Killian had had a great idea in bringing everyone together to celebrate a pre-Christmas party. She decided to ignore the mixed feelings that these festivities entailed for her and instead, let herself get carried away, enjoying the company of Killian and her friends. Even Henry was there, flitting from one group to another, his smile never disappearing from his face.
The affection she had for the boy was undeniable. Her heart tightened in her chest every time she remembered that he had been the initial reason why she had decided to stay in town. She was watching as Henry showed one of his favorite storybooks to Ariel and Tink when an unexpected whispered voice into her ear made her flinch.
"I have some terrible doubts..." She hadn't even seen Anna come when she was suddenly right by her side, an expectant gaze and a wide grin on her face.
Emma didn't even have time to reply. At the moment when Anna was certain that she had gotten her attention, she launched herself with one of her interminable speeches, so Emma let out a subtle sigh as she armed herself with patience.
"I can't decide which couple is the most adorable, apart from me and Kristoff, of course... first, my sister and Graham, with those shy expressions, and those dreamy looks, and then you and the professor, all passion and unresolved sexual tension."
Emma almost choked on her drink when she heard Anna, feeling the blush creeping up her cheeks again. "We're not a couple." She mumbled weakly, cursing inwardly for letting herself get involved in these kinds of conversation.
"Neither are Graham and Elsa, not yet. But it's only a matter of time. Believe me, since I'm quite the expert here." Anna assured as she gave her a conspiratorial look.
Anna was right in something, though. Elsa and Graham made a super cute couple and it was evident that the feeling was not one-sided. And Anna and Kristoff seemed deeply in love, so she wasn't able to decide if it was a good or bad thing that Anna had compared them to those two powerful couples.
Fortunately, Anna soon found another target, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She looked for Killian, who had spent half the time at her side and the other half taking pictures of everything and everyone.
He was in his element, no doubt, involving different people and convincing them with his charm to pose for him. From time to time, he looked for her and even on occasion he took a picture of her from a distance.
"I still can't believe it." Emma winced again, hearing another voice, this time from David, right next to her. She realized that he was looking at Killian, an expression of disbelief on his face.
"What do you mean?"
"Just a few months ago, that scene - Killian taking photos so naturally, would have been inconceivable, and yet look at him now, as if nothing had happened." David commented, his voice revealing a mixture of relief and pride towards his friend.
"He has also used the darkroom that you prepared for him." For some reason, Emma found it important to let David know. It had been his idea, after all.
David then stared at Emma tilting his head slightly, as if he were studying her. He seemed to hesitate for a moment but then nodded subtly, as if he had convinced himself. "I'd like to express my gratitude towards you, Emma, since all this progress has been thanks to you."
What was happening today? Had everyone agreed to make her feel overwhelmed by emotions? Emma swallowed the lump formed in her throat as she shook her head. "I may have contributed at the beginning, but it was all Killian's work, actually. He was the one who saw the potential in me and decided to exploit it. But I can't be happier to have helped him, even indirectly, to regain the self-confidence he so badly needed."
David directed her that questioning look again, but to her surprise, she didn't feel intimidated, but curious to know what was going through his head. "I guess from your expression and attitude that you already know at least part of his past." Emma nodded as her lips drew a half smile. "He has been through a lot." David continued, without taking his gaze from her. "And, I hope you don't get offended, but your eyes tell me that your life hasn't been easy either, so I'm so glad that you found each other."
So do I... she thought, not daring to say it out loud. After offering him one last smile of gratitude, Emma turned her gaze back to Killian. She couldn't deny it anymore, he had crawled under her skin in such a way that he had made all her walls wobble. But this time, she wasn't afraid of her walls falling apart. Quite the contrary, she couldn't wait for the last brick to fall. Although something told her that they'd still have to work on the shield that protected Killian's heart, she could wait. She wasn't going anywhere.
Thanks for reading. Let me know what did you all think :)
Christmas has come to Storybrooke! After witnessing some resolutions of the new year, we will advance a little in time, until we reach the end of the course. We will also discover how Killian deals with the burden of guilt and regret. Will he be able to handle it?