Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-Bangs
With no other recourse, Umbridge gave Siria detention— to be continued for "as long as it takes." Each resulted in Siria silently writing "I must not tell lies" while Umbridge told her "I know you're up to something," and "I see you still haven't learned your lesson." Mostly the nightly lessons cut into Siria's ability to do homework. Nearly half her assignments were incomplete and not much could be said for the ones that were.
Classes moved onto review for the O.W.L.s fifth years would take in June. Then, in the last week of May, it happened. At first, Siria thought she misread the Daily Prophet headline. Somehow, it still didn't make sense.
Even with the anxious chatter throughout the Great Hall from those that subscribed after the Azkaban breakout, she thought it had to be wrong. The unease that radiated from the staff table drew Siria's eyes. There was the proof.
In the middle chair of the staff table, in Dumbledore's chair, which he occupied for all Siria's memory of Hogwarts outside the brief period in their second year when Malfoy's father had Dumbledore removed… sat the revolting pink cardigan, disgusting alice band, clumpy pink lipstick, and bulging toad eyes of Umbridge. The same Umbridge from the photo beneath the haunting headline:
Dolores Jane Umbridge replaces Albus Dumbledore as Head of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
"But… how?" Siria finally asked. She and Ron looked to Hermione.
"I don't know yet," Hermione said as she continued to scan the article. "It's only the Prophet's version, but it says Dumbledore was tried by the Wizengamot and found guilty for conspiracy against the Ministry." Her brow knitted together, as she tried to find the truth between the lies. "Obviously, it was rigged… he's on the run, at least, but…" and Hermione sighed and scanned up to the staff table.
"But how are we going to fix the points?" Ron asked. Hermione and Siria turned to the large hourglasses that held the House points. Siria sighed at the hundred or so points that remained in the Gryffindor hourglass.
"I don't even want to think about points," she said and took another slice of toast, as Fred and George sat down.
"So," said Fred as he shoveled eggs on his plate.
"You've seen the news," George said while he shook his head.
"What did you do?" Siria asked. Fred and George looked innocently at her, too innocently. The twins shared a grin.
"Montague tried to docks a hundred fifty more points," said Fred.
"What do you mean 'tried'?" Hermione asked over the top of her Prophet. George's grin widened.
"You remember that vanishing cabinet?" George asked.
"The one Nick got Peeves to break?" Siria asked.
"Is there another?" Fred asked. She shrugged. "Well,"
"We pushed him in," said George.
"Before he could finish getting the words out," finished Fred. [B5, 637]
Hermione gasped. She shut her Daily Prophet. "But we don't know where it goes, and it's broken— you could have killed him," she said.
"He shouldn't have tried to take away all those points," said Ron.
"Hermione," Siria sighed, "if it means that much to you, I'll fish him out… eventually."
"Oh?" Hermione asked. "And how do you plan on 'fishing' him out?" Siria shrugged again. She poked Hermione's paper.
"Like there's something we can't figure out if we put all our heads together," Siria said. "Think about the D.A. list— more importantly," Siria turned her attention back to the twins. "What are you planning?"
Fred and George grinned at each other then Siria. "Well, with Dumbledore gone," said Fred.(B5, 627)
"We reckon a bit of mayhem," said George. (B5, 627)
"Is exactly what our dear new Head deserves," said Fred. (B5, 627)
"You could be expelled!" Hermione said. (B5, 627)
"You don't get it, Hermione, do you?" Fred asked with a smile. (B5, 627) "We don't care about staying. We'd walk out now if we weren't determined to do our bit for Dumbledore first. So anyway," he checked his watch, "phase one is about to begin. Make sure you stay in the Hall, like good kiddos." (B5, 627)
"See you," George smiled, as he grabbed a few more slices of bacon and left with Fred.
"What do you suppose they're planning?" Hermione asked Ron and Siria. Ron shrugged and took another slice of toast.
"Less we know, the better," Ron said. Siria nodded in agreement. Across the Great Hall, she caught Alice Travers's eye. Alice pointed behind Siria. Siria turned and slid into Neville as she gasped.
"You startled me," Siria said. She glared up at the hunched figure of Argus Filch, who grinned as grotesquely as Umbridge.
"The Headmistress would like to see you, Potter," he leered (B5, 628).
"You must be looking for 'Porter'," Siria said, "She's in Ravenclaw."
"No," said Filch, "Potter."
"It's Potter-Black!" Siria shouted, as she slapped the table and rose to her feet. Professor McGonagall gave Siria a speaking glance from the staff table. "If the Headmistress is calling students, she ought to be getting their name right," Siria said in the carrying voice she used for D.A. meetings.
"But I'll pay the new Head this kindness," Siria said with a mock bow for Filch to lead the way. He did so as he hummed under his breath, occasionally saying that "things are changing". Siria sighed as they headed to Umbridge's office. She wondered if there were ways to boobytrap the castle's secret passages in ways that wouldn't stop her or the twins. Filch bragged that Umbridge asked the Minister for an order to remove Peeves. If Filch was on Umbridge's side, Siria would have to make it an inconvenience for them… somehow. [B5, 628-629]
Filch was more than happy to turn "the Potter girl" over to Umbridge. He bowed, genuinely, as he stepped out. The only difference to Umbridge's office was a small wooden block on the her desk, which read "HEADMISTRESS" in lovely rose gold letters. [B5, 629]
Umbridge ordered Siria to sit (B5, 629). Siria thought of her Occlumency practice sessions with Hermione, which weren't as fruitful as either girl wanted. Despite herself, Siria mirrored Umbridge's smile; it felt reflexive.
"Well now," Umbridge forced a smile so wide her eyes squinted at Siria. "What would you like to drink?" She asked as she surveyed Siria (B5, 629). Siria took a breath, which she held for a moment.
"I'm fine, thank you," Siria said.
"Nonsense," Umbridge said. She widened her smile at Siria, who realized they were playing 'the Game'. Umbridge waved her wand as she offered Siria tea, coffee, and pumpkin juice, a cup of each appearing on Umbridge's desk (B5, 629).
Siria's heart beat in her ears. Chloe and Aunt Petunia were masters at 'The Game' as Sirius called it. A play of smiles and sweetness, to cover backhanded compliments or else provide exaggerated compliments all for small manipulations to get what they wanted from someone.
"That's very sweet of you," Siria said with the best smile she could manage, "but I've just started a cleanse."
"A what?" Umbridge asked through the same, wide smile.
"Oh, a cleanse," said Siria. "Surely someone with such good skin as yourself knows about them," Siria gave a small wave of her hand in Umbridge's direction as she'd seen Aunt Petunia do to Mrs. Nosey Number Three. "You know, Headmistress," Siria said and pulled her chair forward some, "I have been meaning to ask, what moisturizer do you use?" Umbridge touched her cheek despite herself.
Mentally, Siria nodded to herself. Umbridge, however, caught the glint of one of her rings in the cup of tea. She looked Siria square in the eye. Her smile stretched her toad mouth.
"I wish to have a drink with you, Ms. Potter," Umbridge said. "Surely you can't refuse your Headmistress."[B5,630] Siria kept her smile in place.
"Since you went through the trouble of having these prepared," Siria said and reached for the coffee, but Umbridge swept the cup up. She rose up with it.
"Sugar, milk, cream?" Umbridge asked with her back turned to Siria.
"I'd like it black," Siria said. She always wanted to try coffee the way Remus drank it, instead of how Sirius prepared it for her, with all that honey and cream. Umbridge smiled over her shoulder at Siria, as she stirred the cup.
"Nonsense," Umbridge said. "Sugar and spice are what little girls are made of, like the two of us," and she handed Siria the cup.
"Can I?" Siria wondered at the cup. She spent enough time. There couldn't be anything that Umbridge could ask her that could cause Siria to say something she shouldn't. Siria smiled and, as she brought the cup to her lips, wondered if she could summon an antidote if Umbridge was just poisoning her.
Siria tipped the cup and shuddered a little. "A little too sweet for me," Siria said with her best smile, as she placed the cup back down on Umbridge's desk. Umbridge gave a little, very girlish giggle. She raised a cup to Siria, who lifted her cup and tapped it into Umbridge's. They both took a sip. Siria placed her cup back down.
"Now then," said Umbridge with the same stretched smile. "Where is Albus Dumbledore?" [B5, 630]
"Somewhere," said Siria. "I imagine he didn't just vanish into thin air.," she laughed.
"Drink up," Umbridge said and pushed the cup closer to Siria. Siria repressed rolling her eyes. Whatever was in her cup, wasn't Veritaserum. She felt the effects of truth serum right away, so Siria finished her cup with another shiver.
"I'm never having cream for the rest of my life," Siria thought. Her stomach gave a little turn. "I can't tell if it's from the sugar or if I've been poisoned," Siria forced a smile as she kept her thoughts back.
"Where is Albus Dumbledore?" Umbridge repeated.
"Your guess would be much better informed than mine," Siria said.
"Very well," Umbridge said. She scrunched up her nose and glared at Siria's empty cup. "Who are the members of the Order of the Phoenix?" Siria wondered if she had been interrogated enough over summer to accurately mirror the symptoms. She let her head fall a little and her eyes fluttered.
In a clear, but disconnected voice, Siria said "The Order of the Phoenix is no longer active." The most difficult part was probably keeping her face flat as Umbridge perked up in excitement.
"Where is Sirius Black? What is he up to?" Umbridge asked.
"So, the Ministry knows he's away," Siria thought.
"Work. He is working," Siria said.
"Where? Where is he working?" Umbridge asked.
"His company."
Umbridge slammed her tiny fist on her desk. "Of course, if that's what he feeds you," Umbridge grumbled to herself. "Is Clifford Bennett really a squib?" Umbridge asked.
"I don't know Clifford Bennett," said Siria, actually honestly.
"He calls himself—"
BOOM! (B5, 631)
It took all of Siria's self control to keep her composure. She gripped the arms of the chair, for just the fraction of a second. They were released by the time Umbridge asked "What was that?"
"Maybe a canon," Siria said, as unhelpful as she could manage to be, while thinking of Dudley.
Another loud BOOM made the plates on the walls shake. People screamed below. Umbridge hopped to her feet and dashed away. Siria listened until she couldn't hear Umbridge's footsteps anymore. [B5, 631]
Siria turned the star dial on her school bag, then opened it. Inside were several small, cloth bags, tied with string. Siria picked two, a pink one with little watermelons on it and a red one with ladybug spots. She scanned around the room.
In one of Umbridge's vases of dead flowers, Siria sprinkled a little of the green powder from the watermelon bag. She put a pinch into the small container of Floo Powder on the fireplace mantel. Then Siria pulled a few red balls from the spotted bag. She put one in a cabinet and one in a drawer. Siria put the bags away then stuck her whole arm into her school bag. She groped around the bottom for what looked like a silver Sickle. Siria eyed the room with the coin in hand before deciding on placing it under Umbridge's desk. She closed her bag, then hurried out of the room and toward another BOOM!
Color exploded in the corridor. Siria crammed her earplugs in as another explosion vibrated the floor. Monumental chains of emerald cased a hissing silver bodied serpent of sparks. It tangled with a crimson griffin that sent slow moving red-orange stars with each flap of its mighty wings. The stars broke into small willow fireworks, which changed colors as they fell.
Badgers of black with shimmering red-orange patterns climbed up the walls. The tracks they left behind glowed. Occasionally, a badger would explode into a shower of sparks, only to reform as two badgers, half the size.
Bronze eagles swept up the smaller badgers in their talons. They burst the badgers into palm sized versions that rained down. Any blue feathers that fell from the eagles' wings shot off streams of sapphire smoke, which mixed with the rainbow of fountain fireworks that was almost blinding with everything else.
There were shocking pink Catherine wheels at least five feet tall that ripped like lethal frisbees. Dragons of green-and-gold sparks soared in the mix of it all, and caused a thunderous boom each time they opened their mouths. Rockets with tails of stars ricocheted from nowhere. Sparklers swore and blooming flowers actually bloomed sizzling flowers. [B5, 632]
Filch chased a Catherine wheel with a broom. Umbridge shot a red beam at a rocket, which, rather than stopping, exploded into a smoking purple bat. The bat zoomed toward Umbridge. She shrieked and fired another red jet, which missed. Inches from her, the bat burst into a splatter of bronze that painted Umbridge and the surrounding floor. [B5, 633] "Don't stun them, Filch!" Umbridge shouted like Filch, a Squib, suggested it (B5, 633).
Siria laughed as she dashed down the hall, to a door, concealed behind a tapestry. It was close enough to hear Umbridge shouting more pointless instruction and Filch agreeing. She squeezed in with Fred and George, who had tears in their eyes. [B5, 633]
"Even Hermione'll be impressed," Siria said with an honest smile. "I almost feel sorry for Dr. Filibuster." [B5, 633]
"Cheers," George whispered as he wiped away tears. "Hope she tries to Vanish them next… they multiply by ten every time you try…" [B5, 633]
"Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-Bangs," Fred said with pride (B5, 634). "Just wait until she tries to Silence them," he winked at Siria. "You'll want to keep your earplugs in."
"You know…" Siria paused. "I liked your color selection." Fred looked to George with a glance that spoke enough. "You can at least make the badgers and griffins gold."
"We weren't sure," said Fred with a small side-to-side bob of his head.
"If it'd be like the noise," said George with the same, synced bob. Without naming the kitchen incident.
"We made silent ones," said Fred with a nod as George did the same.
"But needed something to really get Umbridge," said George.
"You made silent fireworks?" Siria asked. George shrugged.
"You ought to be able to enjoy fireworks as much as anyone else."
Fireworks continued through the rest of the day. For as much as they were disruptive, none of the teachers seemed bothered. If anything, they seemed amused. Professor McGonagall sent Lavender Brown to get Umbridge when a dragon wandered into Transfiguration. Professor Flitwick called Umbridge to remove the swearing sparklers because, though he could have gotten rid of them, "I wasn't sure whether I had the authority…" [B5, 634]
The fact Umbridge spent her first day as Headmistress rushing around the castle to chase away fires was the last highlight of May.