I'd like to express my gratitude to all those who have given this story a chance, thanks for your likes, comments, kudos and reblogs. It means the world to me.

Thanks, as always, to my beta, Amy, for doing her magic and to my artist, Kate. Don't forget to visit her blog and enjoy her amazing art. There is no specific art for this chapter but the photo from Emma's Instagram account will be part of the fan art that Kate has created for an upcoming chapter.

Sara, thank you for everything.

Things get a bit complicated… Emma talks to Mary Margaret, Mary Margaret talks to David, David talks to Killian… And the Nolans make a decision but, before carrying it out, they have to celebrate Killian's birthday.

CHAPTER 9

My dearest Emma,

It's happening! We got the news a few days ago, but I still have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. No, this time it's real. You, my dear daughter, found us, or rather you found your way back home.

I still can not believe that I'll have the possibility of delivering these letters to you in person in a few months. I would have taken the first flight back home, but there are some things that we need to take care of first. We must convince Killian that he should travel with us. We can not leave him here alone, buried under layers of misery, so we will do our best to continue helping him move forward, and if he has to cross the ocean in search of a new beginning, so be it.

You can not imagine the joy we felt when we saw you for the first time in photos, when we were able to finally put a face on our beautiful daughter. You got your chin and eyes from your mother, but the blond in your hair comes from me. You are the perfect mix, the product of our deep love.

I'm aware that the road will not be easy from now on, that there is a possibility that you don't want to know anything about us. And we will understand and accept it, but now that you are so close, or at least you will be when we arrive at Storybrooke, I will settle for knowing that at least you are happy, even without us.

I want to know everything about you. What experiences you have lived, what cities you have visited, your hobbies, your aspirations, your fears, your desires. Will you let us, Emma, be part of your life?

Just a few more months and we can reunite as a family forever. Until then, be happy, Emma on this new journey you have undertaken,

Your father who loves you and never forgets you,

David.

Emma Swan. Storybrooke - February 21, 2018

Emma arrived at her apartment that afternoon with a strange sensation in her gut, as if a bad omen had begun to haunt her. She dropped down on the couch, letting her thoughts run free instead of bottling them inside. Maybe it was not the most appropriate way of acting, but she felt that if she kept blocking everything that disturbed her, sooner or later, everything would end up exploding.

It was the first time in a long time that she felt that recurring uneasiness tightening her stomach into knots and what hurt her most was that everything had happened just when she had finally got enough courage to bare her soul and reveal to Killian her ghosts of the past.

There was something that confused her. Everything had gone well. He had offered her security and confidence, although perhaps his choice of words hadn't been the most reassuring — she didn't miss the deliberate use of the verb try — but the softness of his lips, the tenderness of his kisses and caresses and his proximity had acted as a balm.

Everything had gone to hell suddenly, when he had pulled away from her abruptly, muttering an excuse that hadn't been convincing at all. Until then, she had blamed those sudden changes of attitude to his own demons that kept harassing him. But that had never happened when they were in the middle of an intimate moment.

Maybe she had read it all wrong. Maybe Killian's feelings towards her were not as deep as she thought or maybe he was having second thoughts... Stop! Emma took a deep breath and let it out slowly in an effort to calm down enough to think more clearly. She wasn't going to be carried away by her insecurities now. Instead, she should act and find the answers she needed.

And what better way to get those answers than by asking the people closest to Killian? The Nolans might offer her some light regarding his strange behavior. Emma grabbed her phone with determination and started typing.

Hey! How are you doing? Are you free to see me today? - ES

Hi Emma! Is everything alright? - MM Nolan

Yeah, but I'd like to talk to you about something. - ES

Sure, meet me at Granny's in 20? - MM Nolan

On my way. Thanks :) - ES

Mary Margaret was already waiting for her, sitting in one of the booths when she arrived a little later at Granny's. She waved at her while her lips drew a warm smile to which Emma responded with one on her own.

She liked Killian's friend. She exuded a halo of composure with that always sweet expression and her soft voice. But there was also something intimidating in her attitude, although Emma hadn't yet managed to discern exactly what it was. Maybe it was the fact that she belonged to a different generation, or maybe she was the closest thing to a family Killian had, and that made her always feel somewhat under scrutiny, as if they were assessing whether she was worthy enough.

Emma shook her head in an attempt to make those inopportune thoughts disappear. Instead, she sat in front of Mary Margaret trying to muster enough determination to bring up the issue that worried her.

"Hi, Emma!" The way Mary Margaret addressed her, all joy as if she were really glad to see her, was something she still had to get used to.

"Hi, thanks for coming."

"Of course. Are you sure everything is alright?" Mary Margaret asked gently, although Emma could detect how her cordial expression morphed to one of slight concern at the edges.

"Yeah, I guess."

Before she could offer any explanation, Ruby approached the table, placing a cup of cocoa with whipped cream and cinnamon in front of her. A warm sensation hummed under her skin, spreading to her heart. Emma still found it hard to believe that this was her life now, with friends who remembered her favorite drink or with people she had only known for two months who were willing to meet her no matter the reason. Emma's lips curled upward, sending a grateful smile to her friend.

"You know?" Mary Margaret's chin pointed to her cup, while she held her own in her hands. "This's one of the things that I missed the most in London, the closeness, the small details, like a waitress remembering your favorite order without needing to mention it." Her gaze took on a nostalgic glow, but she recovered quickly, focusing again on Emma. "Anyway, the important thing is that we're back. And now tell me, what can I do for you?"

Emma swallowed as she stirred her cocoa, gathering her thoughts in an attempt to find the best way to expose the subject. "It's about Killian." She finally snapped, maybe a bit sharper than she intended.

Mary Margaret's brows furrowed with concern. "What's wrong? Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine, Well, I hope so." The wrinkles on Mary Margaret's forehead became more pronounced, causing Emma to groan inwardly. She definitely had to improve her social skills. "I mean, there's something that worries me about him." She wasn't sure that would ease the worry, at least that which was indicated in Mary Margaret's expression, seemingly far from relieved.

"Maybe it would be helpful if you were a little more specific, Emma." Mary Margaret suggested tentatively, the corners of her lips rising slightly, drawing a smile of encouragement.

Emma cleared her throat and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves. She was probably being ridiculous and imagining things, but it was better if she expelled the thoughts that disturbed her. Only then would she be able to loosen the knot in her stomach. "It's just that... Killian sometimes acts in a strange way. Sometimes he seems fine, but suddenly his attitude changes and he goes into a kind of silence, as if he were shutting himself up."

"I see..." Mary Margaret looked thoughtful for a moment, but then continued. "I'm not sure how much Killian has revealed to you from his past, but I guess you already know that he has not exactly had it easy."

"Yes, I know. I've always thought that the reason was precisely that - the struggle he was still carrying out against his own demons, but there's something else." Emma paused for a moment. God! Keeping a conversation about her intimacies was proving to be more difficult than she would have thought. "We were kissing today... you know." Her voice trailed off, as she averted her gaze, feeling her cheeks flush. "And suddenly he pulled away from me, as if I was burning him or something." Emma glanced at Mary Margaret, holding her breath as she waited for her reaction.

"Oh." It was everything she said for a moment, her cheeks tinged with a slight pink hue, probably matching her own.

"There's this other stuff..." Emma exhaled deeply while trusting her voice to sound carefree enough. "We... we haven't slept together, yet."

"Oh." Mary Margaret repeated as her eyes widened slightly, her cheeks now tinged a furious red. Emma realized later that this conversation should be equally mortifying to both of them because it was as if Mary Margaret was hearing about sex —or the absence of it, to be exact— practiced by her little brother or something.

"It's not that I really care about not having... well yes, I mean, I want to, at some point... but..." Emma was aware that she was rambling, but she was unable to stop herself. "What really worries me is what might be the reason for that attitude. Maybe it's because of me? Am I understanding everything in the wrong way? Maybe he doesn't feel the same about me?" As she expressed her concerns aloud her voice became weaker until it sounded only as a soft murmur.

"Oh, Emma." She dared to cast a sidelong glance at Mary Margaret. To her surprise, she found a sad expression while a shadow of what looked like regret crossed her gaze. Mary Margaret reached out and placed her hand on hers, giving her an affectionate squeeze. "Whatever is going through Killian's mind at this moment, it has nothing to do with the depth of his feelings towards you, I can assure you."

"Do you really think so?" Emma hated how vulnerable her voice sounded. That was one of the reasons why she had protected her heart for so long, to prevent these kinds of sensations from taking control over her.

"Believe me, sweetheart, I've never seen Killian as happy or as excited about something as he is with you, not even with photography, which has been his only refuge for a long time." Her emotions were evident both in her voice and in her expression. Emma could not keep her heart from fluttering as she silently thanked the couple for taking care of Killian all these years.

She let out a sigh of relief as she leaned her back on her seat. "I... I just have this need to help him, but I'm not sure how to do it." She recognized, while her lips drew a small smile.

Mary Margaret gave her hand another squeeze. "I'm sure if we all work on it, everything will be solved eventually. Meanwhile, the best thing you can do is support each other. That's what David and I did when we went through our worst moments." The sparkle of nostalgia returned to Mary Margaret's eyes as Emma wondered what painful experiences this couple — the perfect representation of true love— would have experienced.

"Thank you, really. I'll do my best to help him, he... I also care about him a lot." It was there, at that precise moment and in that random place, when her feelings decided to leave their prison inside her heart and come to the surface. She could not deny it any longer. She was falling hopelessly in love with Killian. That certainty hit her hard, causing her to suppress a gasp as she shut her eyes closed for a moment in an attempt to regain her composure. That gripping sensation didn't leave her, though. She felt about to be pushed into the void without the security that there was a net to cushion her fall.

"I know, Emma, I know." There was something in Mary Margaret's intense gaze that made Emma's heart tighten in her chest, as a strange sensation overwhelmed her, as if she could read beyond her facade and reach deep into her very soul.

David Nolan. Storybrooke - February 21, 2018

Don't you think it's about time for Emma to know the truth? - Regina

Honestly, it's none of your business, madam mayor. - David

Well, when it comes to my employee, it is. How do you think she will react when she finds out? - Regina

That's one of the reasons why we are not revealing the truth yet. - David

I see... but that doesn't stop you from involving your friend in this dangerous game, even though he is now your daughter's boyfriend. A very smart movement, David... - Regina

I don't have time for your sarcasm. I have a newspaper to run and you a town to govern. Good evening, Regina. - David

David locked the screen of his phone while taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm the feeling of annoyance that Regina had caused him. The woman had always been characterized by trying to control everything, but this time he wasn't going to allow her to interfere. In an attempt to forget the irritable mayor, he focused on Killian, though he assumed that his friend's unexpected visit was also related to Emma.

He watched as Killian paced up and down his office, stopping now and then to look out the window, or paying attention to any random objects on the shelves. There was something that was worrying him, clearly, and David suspected what it might be, but he waited until his friend was ready to share whatever was troubling him, while pretending to be busy typing on his computer.

After a couple more minutes, Killian seemed to gain enough courage and sat in the chair in front of the desk. Still reluctant, he rubbed his hand over the scruff of his chin until finally, he decided to speak. "So, have you guys already thought about when are you going to tell Emma the truth?"

Never? David pressed his lips together, trying to keep his composure, but the fact that in an interval of just a few minutes two different people had asked him the same question was beginning to take its toll. He had expected Killian's question, though, at least since they discovered that Killian had feelings for Emma and that they seemed to be reciprocated.

If the circumstances had been different, David would have settled for this connection they had made with Emma. It was not enough, it never would be, but at least it served to keep her close, to know about her life, to support her in bad times. If he could not be a father to her, he would be a friend.

But neither he nor Mary Margaret had expected that there would be other feelings involved. Their somewhat selfish and desperate actions might hurt deeply, and irreparably, the most important people in their lives.

"I... I don't know." He breathed while rubbing his eyes with one hand, racking his brains in an attempt to find a magical solution. There wasn't any, of course. In fact, they should not have even considered embarking on this path of lies in the first place.

"I'm not sure I can do this much longer, Dave." Killian's desperate tone caused his heart to constrict with regret. David gave him a sidelong glance and what he saw did not help at all to mitigate that gripping sensation. Killian looked devastated, on the edge of the precipice, a crease of concern between his brows, his shoulders tense, a twitching muscle in his jaw betraying his tension.

He took a shuddering breath. "I know, Killian." A wave of guilt curled around his gut when, for the first time, he fully realized the implications of their rash plan. If Killian was already in a precarious position, he had taken advantage in some way of his vulnerability to get his help. He could not forgive himself if Killian ended up even more broken after this.

His friend had not even dared to confess his feelings towards Emma. He could only imagine the storm that Killian was suffering, feeling the pressure on both sides. What kind of person was he, using his dear friend for his own interests?

"She trusts me, Dave, she has opened up to me, confessing her worst experiences of the past." Killian continued, each of his words acting like a dart of guilt piercing his heart. "When she told me about Neal, I just wanted to strangle him with my own hands, well hand…" He raised his prosthesis in a gesture of contempt, " If I had him in front of me..., or punch the other bloke, Walsh, in the face. She trusted those two assholes and they took advantage of her, lying and betraying her in the most atrocious way. But then, I realized that I was acting the same bloody awful way."

"It's not the same, Killian." David replied weakly, feeling the hole in his stomach deepen when he saw his friend in such a state.

"Are you sure, mate? Because as I see it, I've taken advantage of her with the aim of bringing her closer to you and I've been lying to her all this time."

"You love her, don't you?"

Killian pressed his lips together before answering, while squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. "I do." He confessed through a shaky whisper.

David almost had to repress a gasp at the irony. If they had been in other circumstances, he would have been the happiest person in the world to know that his daughter had found the best possible companion, a devoted, loyal, honorable person. And yet now, due to his own selfishness, two people who were meant to be together might have their future endangered.

"I'm going to talk to Mary Margaret. We'll find a way to fix this, Killian. I promise." He assured, his lips drawing a smile that he hoped would be reassuring enough, though he was actually dying inside, wondering how the hell they were going to get out of this.

Killian had left just ten minutes ago when David received another visitor in his office. Mary Margaret hurried inside, taking the chair Killian had left free. The moment his gaze met his wife's, he noticed her creased forehead, her face pale, her eyes lacking their usual brightness. "What's wrong, darling?"

David held his breath, his stomach tightening into knots. He was not sure he could handle a new addition to his problems. Before answering, Mary Margaret twisted her ring while biting her lower lip. "We have made a terrible mistake, David."

He massaged his temples, letting out a deep exhale. He suspected what Mary Margaret was referring to, but that did not make it any easier, not after his previous conversation with Killian. She must have understood his silence as an invitation to continue, since, without waiting for a reply, she spoke again.

"I met with Emma today. She texted asking me to see her." David's heart skipped a beat. This was the first time that Emma took the initiative to see one of them alone, without Killian being present.

"That's a good thing, isn't it?" He tentatively suggested, still reluctant to hear that such a meeting might be the cause of the state of uneasiness in his wife.

"Yes, it was good. She trusted me, David." Her voice came with a hint of emotion, while her eyes regained some of that spark of hope so characteristic in her. "I'm so glad that she opened up to us. We got a brilliant daughter, brave, small, caring."

"But..."

"But... she was so worried about Killian's attitude. She thought that his sudden mood swings could be her fault..." Her voice trailed off as she ran her hands down her cheeks. "They are so in love and we're ruining everything, David." Mary Margaret's eyes filled with tears, though she blinked a couple of times, holding them back.

His chest constricted in agony. He couldn't bear to see his wife cry. From that day when he had had to say goodbye to his newborn daughter and then found Mary Margaret crying silently for her lost daughter, lonely, and desperate in a hospital room, he had sworn to himself that he would do everything in his power to ease her sorrows and keep suffering away from her. It was evident that he had done a poor job because the tribulations had not stopped hitting them in one way or another.

He got up and reached for her, kneeling by her side as he held her hands in his. "She told you that? That she was in love with Killian?" He asked in a soft voice, feeling his heart pound against his ribcage.

She shook her head, her lips drawing a tiny smile. "Not with words, but anyone who sees them together can deduce it."

"Killian was here a moment ago, he did recognize that he was in love with Emma. He's about to break up, sweetheart." David confessed, looking for his wife's gaze, in an attempt to find refuge and comfort in the serenity of her eyes. He could only see Emma's eyes reflected in her mother's, causing the tug of guilt to tighten his grip on his stomach.

"We must confess the truth, David." Her tone was urgent, but also determined. "Who knows? Maybe there's a way to expose the reality that doesn't make her run away. We should also try to reduce Killian's participation to the minimum possible."

Although Mary Margaret was right, the possibility that they had already lived through their last moments of happiness with Emma caused a gripping sensation to crawl to his heart, squeezing hard. No, he needed one last chance to treasure a handful more of memories with his daughter. "You're right, we'll do it after Killian's birthday." They were not going to ruin Killian's day even more. This gave them three more days to figure out how to approach the subject to Emma in the best possible way.

Mary Margaret accepted with a small nod of her head while the corners of his lips raised forming a tiny smile of resignation.

He consoled himself with the idea that they would still have three more calm days before the storm. Because if he was sure of something, it was that there would be a storm the moment in which the truth was revealed, either in the form of a light wind, leaving small damages in its wake, or possibly like a tsunami with the capacity to devastate everything around.

Killian Jones. Storybrooke - February 25, 2018

Killian had not celebrated his birthday for ten years, since that day was a constant reminder that he was able to add one more year to his marker while others, who perhaps deserved it more, hadn't been so lucky.

David and Mary Margaret had accepted it at first, the loss of his brother and their friend still too fresh in everyone's memories, but gradually, they had tried to go back to the old habits of making a special event for each of their birthdays. He had appreciated the gesture, he really had, but his birthday would never be the same without his brother by his side.

During the first twenty-two years of his life, but especially after the death of their mother and the abandonment of their father, Liam had been responsible for making that day something special, a unique event. He just could not bear the thought of never having him next to him on that day, so he had chosen to ignore it, which meant no gifts, no birthday cake and, obviously, no happy birthday song.

Even with Milah, he hadn't recovered enough strength to start celebrating his birthday again. Moreover, when that mortal accident ripped her out of his arms forever, his resentment towards that date only increased.

Still, his friends always managed to be with him on that day, even they had traveled once to Spain where he was covering a news event. " We have never been to Madrid ." It had been their excuse, which he had accepted because, deep down, he had always been grateful for those little gestures of affection that reminded him that he was still important to someone.

Today was different, though. His uneasiness still lingered, accompanied also by the weight of guilt and regret. But that did not prevent him, for the first time, from feeling some eagerness for spending the day with his friends and, of course, with Emma.

He had spent the morning making arrangements to start a new course and he had not even mentioned to Emma that today was his birthday, but he would meet her and the Nolans later, for dinner at Granny's. Those were his thoughts - spending a nice evening surrounded by the people he cared for - while he walked to his apartment to take a quick shower and then meet them. What he saw when he opened the door though, caused his heart to drop into his stomach, any excitement for the celebration suddenly vanished.

The image of a perfect family was in front of him, a happy daughter surrounded by her caring parents while all of them watched a family photo album full of memories, all peppered with loving comments.

The reality was slightly different, though. For Emma and the rest of the world, they were no more than three acquaintances, waiting for him to arrive. And this photo album did not keep shared memories, rather his own memories of the past.

There was another element present in that image that, under other circumstances, would have been idyllic, a secret hovering over them, extending its invisible tentacles with the threat that that scene might never happen.

Killian was not entirely sure why the scene had affected him so much, almost to the point of getting sick. They were there for him after all, to accompany him on his special day. And most importantly, they seemed happy, so engaged in both the photos and the conversation that they did not even realize at first that he had already arrived.

But he couldn't bear the thought of Emma losing her parents when she had just found them — even if she did not know it yet — or they losing their beloved daughter they had always longed for. He felt responsible for maintaining that opportunity they deserved so much.

He was already on edge, unable to control his inner turmoil, experiencing an ongoing roller coaster of emotions that left him exhausted and frustrated, all his energy and strength drained from his body. He was the real threat here. Maybe the best thing for everyone would be for him to disappear for a while...

"Killian! We didn't hear you arrive!" Mary Margaret's excited voice brought him back to reality.

"Hey!" The moment Emma realized his presence, it was as if his entire living room lit up thanks to her bright smile and the flash of her eyes. He just needed a brief glimpse of her emerald gaze so that his heart would calm down, such was the power she had over him.

She got up then, walking towards him, causing his skin to tingle, craving for her touch.

She made him feel alive, making him rediscover feelings that he thought were long buried, challenging him constantly, both with her talent and with the promise of a future - with the possibility that not everything was lost for him. She managed that at least during the instant their eyes met, everything else would no longer matter.

"I hope you don't mind..." She offered him a small tentative smile before continuing. "We thought it was better if we waited for you here, since today... well, you know." She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. His heart shrank a little as he realized that he was the cause of her nervousness. David and Mary Margaret might have warned her beforehand and she was acting cautiously for him.

He cast a sidelong glance at his friends, who had decided to stay in the background, still sitting on the couch. David shrugged while the corners of Mary Margaret's lips rose slightly in encouragement.

"You can say the word, love." He offered her a reassuring smile as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her toward him, his eyes never leaving hers.

She tilted her head and studied him from underneath her lashes. "I just... I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"With you? Never." He could not resist it anymore, and closed the distance between them, burying his head in the gap between her shoulder and her neck in a hug so tight that he feared he might hurt her. She did not complain though and returned the embrace with the same enthusiasm.

It was at times like this that he would have given everything to keep his left hand, such was his need to feel her on all levels. He sought refuge in her arms, letting her scent intoxicate him, the warmth of her body against his acting as a balm for his poor soul.

"Happy birthday, Killian." She whispered into his ear, her warm breath sending electric shocks up his spine, causing him to tighten the hug even more.

He swallowed the lump growing in his dry throat before muttering in a broken voice, "Thank you, love."

It was like this, in the middle of his living room, with his friends as witnesses while he clung to Emma for dear life, when he realized that he could not continue like this. He could not force his friends to confess. They were the ones who should tell the truth to their daughter when they thought the time had come, not because of fear that he would explode. He was interfering with the whole process, becoming a real threat.

No, he had to make a getaway as soon as possible, take distance and figure out a way to solve all this without the need for too much collateral damage. Maybe it would only take a couple of days, he tried to convince himself, although he was aware that he was not going to find any magic formula. Still, perhaps the distance allowed him to recover enough strength to face everything that was to come.

He'd look for the first flight to London tomorrow, and would only tell his friends about his improvised trip at the last moment, to prevent them from trying to change his mind. Even so, the idea of separating from Emma dug a hole in his heart so deep that he did not know if he would be strong enough to take that flight.

TheLadySwan: There is something exciting when you give away a blank photo album. You are not only delivering a material object, a handful of blank pages bound in leather. You are actually offering a promise in the form of trusting that the person who receives it will be able to live experiences that deserve to be immortalized, filling in this way, those pages of memories that will last forever. There is also something a little more selfish in the act, that is, the hope that your image occupies a place between those pages since that would mean that you too will be part of those memories ... Happy birthday.

I'm sorry... Thanks for reading. Let me know what did you all think :)

What to expect from the next chapter? Will Killian be able to go to London to give the Nolans more time? We'll find out next week...