Chapter 13

Edward was still reeling from the taste of her pussy in his mouth, on his tongue. Jesus, she was so fucking tight and wet and hot, and everything a woman was supposed to be and more.

He'd never experienced anything like it. It wasn't just the way she trusted him, which, in itself, was the most amazing goddamn gift he'd ever received. Even if he wasn't entirely certain he deserved it. But it was the way she'd let go while he was touching her and kissing her. He wasn't even sure she was aware of her response.

But Edward was.

He'd heard every whimper, every moan, every single fucking time she'd cried his name. He knew she was close when she pressed herself against his mouth like she couldn't get close enough, the way she clenched around his finger, pulling it deeper inside her, and all he could think about was the way she was going to feel around his cock.

Her body was tightly strung like a goddamn wire ready to be tripped. And Edward needed to make her come, needed to show her that he'd meant it when he told her to trust him because he'd take care of her.

And then it happened.

She cried out, low and desperate. Her pussy spasmed, coating his hand, and flooding his mouth. And Edward knew nothing in the world had ever been more gorgeous than the sight of Bella, naked and coming with complete abandon.

He licked her softly, hoping to bring her down as gently as possible. When he was certain he'd wrung out every ounce of pleasure he could give her, he slid up the couch, taking her limp and trembling body into his arms, and he held her.

He held her so close, whispering how beautiful she was, how grateful he was that she'd allowed him to do that. Because he was. He was so fucking grateful to be the only man to ever witness her uninhibited beauty in that way.

Edward had never been an eloquent man, but in those quiet moments, he realized his words were fucking useless. Not just his words, but all words. He didn't know if he could ever fully express what it had meant to him.

What she meant to him.

He slowly became aware that what he thought were trembles, were actually full-bodied shudders. She was crying, he realized. Not just crying, but sobbing. Tears flooded her face as her body racked with sobs.

Panicked, he asked, "Bella, Bella, what's wrong?

She turned into his chest, pressing her face against his shirt, as if she was trying to muffle the sounds. And Edward lay there, holding her, impotent in his ability to offer any sort of comfort or help.

He'd been a fool, of course. There he was, thinking of how beautiful it had all been – and to him, it was – when all the while, he'd actually done exactly what he swore he wouldn't do. He'd pushed her too far, and she couldn't handle it.

And then an equal fear took root. Had he actually hurt her? He'd never been with a sexually inexperienced woman in his life. And she'd been so tight, even around his finger. What if he'd ripped and torn her flesh? What if the whole while he thought he'd been pleasuring her, he'd actually been causing her pain?

"Please, Bella," he said urgently, trying to get her to look at him so he could make sure she was okay. "Please don't cry, please…"

She wouldn't look at him, and he didn't know what do to do, so he covered her naked body with a throw from the back of her couch, and just held her. All the while, her tears steadily fell.

After several moments of whispered apologies and refusing to let her go, her cries quieted. Her body settled with each deep and shuddering breath she took. He noticed that the whole time they'd been there she hadn't tried to move away from him. Not only that, but her hands gripped his shirt in tight fists like she didn't want to let him go. It didn't make sense, especially if he'd hurt her.

"How badly are you hurt, Bella?" he asked, gently lifting her face so he could look at her. Her face was all red, her eyes swollen. And even then, Edward thought she was beautiful. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs. "The truth – don't try to downplay it."

"I'm not hurt, Edward," she said, blowing out a deep breath. "I'm…I just…"

"What?" he asked, his voice pleading.

"Overwhelmed."

She looked down, hiding her face from him again, and he hated it. Hated that what they'd done together caused her pain. Even if it wasn't physical. Emotional pain was just as bad, maybe worse, depending on the situation.

She'd trusted him.

He told her to trust him.

And he should have known he'd fuck this up.

"I'm…so sorry, Bella," he whispered. "I knew better than this. I shouldn't have…"

"Edward, stop," she urged him. "I was overwhelmed because what happened…what you just did…I didn't know that it could be like that. I didn't know that I could…feel the things you made me feel. And it was…"

It sounded a whole lot like she was saying it was good, but anything good wouldn't have rendered her to a sobbing mess.

Would it?

Could that actually be what she was saying?

"Too much?" he asked.

"Edward," she said, reaching up and taking his face in her hands before kissing him tenderly. "It was amazing."

"But you cried."

"Haven't you ever cried because something made you happy?"

Edward tried and failed to think of anything happy that would have made him cry. Hell, he didn't even cry over the sad things in his life. But he didn't want to tell her that. "Maybe?"

"Well, that's what it was like for me," she said quietly. "Only multiply it by, like, a million. I didn't mean to…I'm sorry if I–"

"Hey," he said gently, cutting her off. "You don't ever have to apologize for that, not for the way you feel, not ever."

"I made everything awkward," she mumbled.

Edward pulled her closer, his relief palpable.

"Nothing about this is awkward," he said, breathing in her scent, and reveling in the feeling of her in his arms. "Not a single fucking thing."

They stayed like that for a long time. He stroked her hair as she nuzzled against his chest. Little by little, she settled against him until he thought that maybe she'd fallen asleep.

"Edward?" her soft voice filled the space between them. "What we did…I mean, earlier when you…"

"Yeah?"

"I didn't know. I mean, I never thought…that it could be like that."

His heart clenched, almost painfully. But it was a good hurt, the kind of hurt that made him realize just how empty his life had been for some time.

Until her.

"I never knew it could be like that, either," he said gruffly.

"But we didn't…." she paused, and he felt her pulse kick up. "I mean…what about you?"

She turned her face up to his, her expression inquisitive and searching.

"Don't worry about me," he told her. He kissed her then, gentle and deep. "We have all the time in the world, Bella. I can wait."

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Bella wasn't sure what time it was when she woke up. She only knew it was early. It was still dark in her room, which was unusual because she normally left the door to her bathroom cracked with the light on.

Several other realizations hit her all at once.

She was naked under her sheets, and Bella never slept naked.

Her pillow was much harder than usual, and it also had a heartbeat.

Bella wasn't alone.

She shot up quickly before remembering she was naked. She grabbed her duvet, and brought it up to her chest, covering her breasts.

"Bella, shhh…"Edward's voice broke through her panic. "It's just me."

"You stayed?" she asked, the pitch of her voice was higher than usual, even if it was filled with sleep.

"You fell asleep on the couch," he said, gently rubbing her back. It was a strange sensation – unfamiliar yet comforting – to wake up with someone else. She didn't quite know what to make of it. "And I didn't want to leave you alone after…you know, everything. So, I brought you in here and put you in bed. You were tired."

"What about you?" she asked, her heartbeat settling down.

"I was tired, too," he said.

He gently tugged on her hand, pulling her back over him. She went, somewhat reluctantly. It's not that she minded Edward staying, especially after everything that happened the night before. But Bella didn't deal well with changes in her routine. She'd always been very structured, and that structure helped to keep her centered and calm.

"Are you upset?" he asked, his voice concerned.

"Not…upset," she told him honestly. "I just…I was surprised."

She was, she realized. She was surprised she was actually able to sleep with someone else. She'd only ever slept alone.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked.

"I slept fine. More than fine," he murmured. His hands were warm against her back, as he gently stroked up and down. "But not as well as you."

"Oh, no," she groaned, heat flooding her face. "Did I snore or something? Oh, god. Please tell me I didn't snore."

She buried her face in his chest, puzzling over the fact that all of this felt so easy, so comfortable. Even in the midst of her possible mortification. His laugh was easy and warm.

"No, you didn't snore. I promise."

"Then what did you mean by that sleeping-better-than-you comment?"

She was actually talking with him, and there was no panic. She was naked with him, and still, there was no panic.

"Well…" he said slowly. Too slowly. "You do…"

"What?" she asked. "What did I do?"

"You talk."

"Oh my god," she groaned. "I didn't."

"Don't be embarrassed, Bella," he said.

But she wasn't really listening to him because all she could imagine were the embarrassing things she might have said while she was sleeping. Like everything She'd done up to this point wasn't embarrassing enough. Did she really have to talk in her sleep, too?

"What did I say?" she asked.

"Nothing much," he assured me. "It was mostly nonsensical. A few words here and there."

"You're not telling me something," she said.

"I like watching you sleep," he said softly. "You said my name."

Mortified, Bella attempted to pull the covers over her head, but Edward stopped her. He rolled to his side, still holding her close.

"Don't be self-conscious," he whispered in her ear. "If I talked in my sleep at all, I would talk about you. And I'm not ashamed of it."

He kissed her then, slowly, languidly, like he had all the time in the world. She was breathless when he finally pulled back.

"I hate to do this, but I have to leave," he said, kissing her again, soft and quick.

Bella felt a pang of sadness in her chest at his words.

"Why?" she asked. "It's still so early."

"I know, and trust me, I'd rather stay here with you. But I need to go home, so I can get ready for work. It's already after four, and I need to be back by six."

Her heart felt achy at the thought of him leaving, and she silently chastised herself for even thinking that way. He obviously had to go. He didn't have a uniform here, and it wasn't as if she wouldn't see him in just a couple hours anyway.

"Okay," she finally said. "You should go. I don't want you to be late because of me."

He kissed her one last time before slipping from her bed. When he got to the door, he turned back and said, "I only work Tuesday thru Friday." She knew this, of course, because she'd memorized his schedule when she first moved in. "So, uh, I guess what I'm trying to say is that, for the next three days, I'm yours if you want."

"Oh," Bella said, turning his words over in her head. Something about them bothered her, only, she didn't know why. "That's um…good to know."

"Shit," he said, turning back and walking over to her bed. He leaned over, looking down at her. "That came out wrong. I only meant that I'm completely free for the next three days, but Bella, you have to know by now, I'm yours for as long as you want me."

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A/N

I know, I know. No update yesterday. But believe me, I would rather have been updating than being ridiculously overwhelmed at work. Which is where I've been, tbh.

These two. I love them. I wish I could tell you just how much I loved writing them. Thank you for loving them, too.

I'm gonna try to update tomorrow. Marvar has edited the next chapter, but we'll see if I have time to make her changes.

Speaking of Marvar, I adore her more than she could ever know.

Reviews are love.