Rashpaw: YoyoYO! Furry cats out there, it's episode 5 of Warrior Cats Confession Shows! Hashtag Swag, yall!

Chip: Seriously, the world does not revolve around you and hashtags.

Rashpaw: Amg shut it everyone FOLLOW MY TWITTER I NEED MORE FOLLOWERS PLS

Chip: Todayyyyy, our fellow viewer Scarredshadow has asked us a few questions.

Rashpaw: Oh ok fine let's get down to business.

Chip: First up is RussetFURRRR!

Rashpaw: coughcough sounds like potatoes cough

Russetfur: (Walks in)

(canned applause)

Russetfur: Hi...?

Rashpaw: Hi! So Russetfur, how're you doing today? StarClan treating you well?

Russetfur: Very well, there's so much food, the frogs are tender, the rats are juicy...

Chip: Yeah ok no one cares. So, Russetfur, do you mind defying the Woman Code?

Russetfur: ...depends.

Rashpaw: Ok, Scarredshadow asks, Russetfur: How old were you when you died? 87?

Russetfur: Well I-well-laksjdfhdsjh

Chip: See I told you you'd she'd never spill.

Rashpaw: My bet's on 73.

Chip: Ten bucks says she's 85.

Rashpaw: You're on.

Russetfur: That is SO incredibly RUDE! You NEVER ask a woman how old she is! :/

Chip: C'mon, it's Warrior Cats Confession Show, time to get spilling the bean, grandma.

Russetfur: DON'T CALL ME GRANDMA FOR YOUR INFORMATION I DON'T HAVE CHILDREN I HATE THEM THEY'RE SO SQUIRMY HISSSS

Rashpaw: HEY! I HAPPEN TO BE QUITE MELLOW.

Chip: L OH L NO YOUR ARE NOT

Blackstar: WHY ARE WE YELLING?

Everyone but Blackstar: AHHHHEEEEE

Chip: How did you get here?!

Blackstar: Through that portal (points at door)

Rashpaw: Why are you named Blackstar if you're white?

Blackstar: Omg, look, kid, my name was BlackFOOT, see, my feet are BLACK, and then I became the leader and then my name had to change to STAR ok I am NOT black I am white but my feet are BLACK.

Chip: Wait if your feet are black how come you were BlackFOOT? Both your feet are black not just one...

Blackstar: Oh my goodness ok look kid, you're the one who's named after a Twoleg potato product.

Chip: Hey! I was named after a chip of ice you meanie!

Russetfur: Well your name is certainly better than Rashpaw I mean what, you got a infection on your paw? Need a ban-aid?

Rashpaw: AH-HA! According to , you are 61!

Russetfur: Actually it's dated, I'm turning 62 in a month-I mean- what no way!

Blackstar: Oh same here! Cool we have the same birthday!

Russetfur: Oh do you want to have a combo party?

Blackstar: Totes! Omg does moon bounces sound good?

Russetfur: AMG DEFS! Oh and ice cream am I right?

Blackstar: Gurl that's so obvi right!

Russetfur and Blackstar: LET'S GO TO THE MALL GURL!

Chip: Uh..next! Question! Thank you Russetfur and apparently Blackstar!

Rashpaw: Well then. Next victim-I mean quest star- IS

Chip: JAY-JAAAY!

Jayfeather: (stumbles in)

Rashpaw: So Jamie, can I call you that?

Jayfeather: No.

Rashpaw: Jamie, do you really love Halfmoon? Because it seems like you only liked her because she's literally the only cat that seems to like you.

Jayfeather: I LOVE her! She's the only cat that gets me, you know?

Chip: Really, dude? You meet her once through a dream and suddenly you got this romance blooming?

Jayfeather: Excuse me, it's not a dream, it's a memory? Recarnation, remember?

Rashpaw: What about Briarlight? She seems to really like you but NOoo, you gotta play hard to get.

Chip: Word.

Jayfeather: What oh her? Nothing but a cripple to me.

Rashpaw: Uh, rude.

Jayfeather: And can I just say that she always seems to have bad luck? Like almost being bitten by a snake? Yeah, and then suddenly her back legs just go PFFFFT-useless. Honeyfern might as well stay where she was, if she's just going to be useless anyways, am I right?

Chip: Well that's a negative way to put it.

Rashpaw: You do know that there's going to be a bunch of haters pounding on your door tonight, right?

Jayfeather: Whatever what they going to do to be? I'm a magical prophisized cat, One of the Three. Plus I'm blind they can't attack a blind cat I have my pity face on.

Chip: Wow you are one pissy cat.

Rashpaw: But he's still cool, right?

Chip: Well that concludes today's show. Stay tuned, viewers, for more War-Cats!