Rashpaw: Welcome to another highly anticipated episode of Warrior Cats Confession Show!
Chip: We mean moderately anticipated...
Rashpaw: Today, we go to our roots.
Chip: Well, not mine, technically.
Rashpaw: Whatever. Today we are interviewing special guests...we are so thrilled to have the founders of our clans coming on the show tonight!
Chip: Coming up first is THUNDER! Don't drop that THUN-THUN-THUN, am I right!
Thunder: Wow am I glad I'm not an ancestor of you.
Chip: Just because I'm a rouge doesn't mean I can't be related to you. Don't disown me like that!
Rashpaw: Next is-
Chip: That is my line! Stop being a hoe! Anyways, next up is LIGHTNINGTAIL! Bzzzt!
Lightningtail: Actually, lightning does not make a noise, thunder does; lightning is merely a flash of light generated by electricity from water particles-
Rashpaw: Hey stop being a NERD.
Chip: Also with us today is the lovely VioletdAWWWWN!
Violetdawn: Hi, it's a pleasure to be with you here today!
Chip: Last but not least, StarflAOWWr! Certified hottie!
Starflower: *purrs* Hi, thanks for-
Thunder: Don't even ask-I got over her real quick.
Rashpaw: Alright...geez...that wasn't even one of our questions...anyways, let's get down to business.
Chip: So, Thunder, you and Lightningtail are really close pals, right?
Thunder: Of course! I trust him with my life. Even though I'm dead. Like if I were alive again I would trust him with it. He's my ride or die since day one. Literally, I was raised with his litter.
Lightningtail: Thanks bro! Love you no homo. Yeah, I mean we've been through so much together, and it's been such an honor to be his deputy.
Thunder: And you took over as leader so well, you were always such a good leader.
Lightningtail: Bro...thanks...I love you man no homo.
Rashpaw: So y'all's are really close friends, huh. Like, a man's man. Lightningtail, you're Thunder's right-paw man.
Lightningtail: Fo' sho.
Chip: So like...you mean it doesn't go beyond that?
Thunder: What do you mean?
Rashpaw: It seems as though you guys are a 15 on the friendship level scale, which only goes up to 10...
Violetdawn: What are you guys talking about?
Chip: It seems as though you're more than bros, and Violetdawn and Starflower were just fake hoes...
Thunder: W-w-what?
Rashpaw: It seems as though you're taking RIDE or die a little too seriously...
Lightningtail: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
Rashpaw: Y'all gay as FUCK!
Violetdawn: *gasps* THUNDER?
Starflower: HA! I knew it!
Thunder: You've got it wrong!
Lightningtail: We're just really close! Male-pals!
Rashpaw: Oh, PLEASE. First, when Thunder decided to leave Windrunner's clan, YOU, Lightningtail, decided to leave with him, leaving behind your sibling. Is that not true love or not?
Lightningtail: I-
Chip: How many times has Thunder told you how much you meant to him? I bet he's thought that a million times!
Lightningtail: I-
Rashpaw: How come when Thunder had like two boothangs, you've had none?
Chip: And you were like the worst wingman EVER, you tried to tag alone to River Ripple's clan when Violetdawn wanted to go alone with Thunder.
Rashpaw: Admit it, Lightningtail, you LIKED Thunder.
Lightningtail: NO I DON'T!
Rashpaw: SECURITY!
(A badger bursts in and pins Lightningtail)
Chip: SAY IT.
Lightningtail: I'M SO SUING YOU GUYS AFTER THIS.
Rashpaw: Not if you DIE first! SAY IT!
Starflower: Say it!
Audience: *chanting* SAY IT, SAY IT, SAY IT, SAY IT!
Lightningtail: *choking* ack... (hoarsly) OK...me and Thunder are more than bros...I like him...full homo...
Rashpaw: *claps*
(Badger lets go and lumbers off stage)
Thunder: Bro...I never knew you felt that way*tearing up*...dude...I love you too...full homo...
Violetdawn: WHAT THE HECK?
Starflower: I SO CALLED IT.
Chip: What do you mean, Starflower?
Starflower: I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAD CUTE, THUNDER. BUT THEN I SAW THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT LIGHTNINGTAIL, AND I KNEW, NUH-UH THIS BRUV MAD GAY.
Thunder: Is that why you chose Clearsky?
Starflower: Yeah he's like super straight. I know because he's had like 3 baby mamas.
Rashpaw: O tru dat cat was the original pimp... got every on of his hoes pregnant...respect...
Starflower: Wow, no wonder Clearsky rejected you as a kit...
Chip: Because he was gay?
Rashpaw: Yo that ain't cool. Love is love.
Chip: On the real though. Respect everyone.
Thunder: Thanks, love wins. Also, Starflower, don't go saying SHIT, when you LITERALLY HAD A THING WITH ME *AND* MY DAD. THAT'S LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. HOW IS YOU A COUGAR AND A GOLDDIGGER AT THE SAME TIME.
Rashpaw: Oh I forgot! That's so messed up.
Chip: What's even more messed up is that the dad got the girl...
Lightningtail: Yeah same, when I found out she chose Clearsky I was SHOOK.
Violetdawn: Thunder, we're over.
Thunder: What...babe!
Violetdawn: No it's fine...go with who you truly love...Lightningtail knows you the best, he's who you belong with.
Chip: True, considering you guys were like, let's have babies together! Like the second time you guys talked.
Thunder: Lightningtail...bro...will you be my bro...forever? Broever?
Lightningtail: *tearing up* Bro...I've been waiting so long...of course bro...love you full homo.
Thunder: Full homo.
Rashpaw: *wiping tear from eye* I'm so touched.
Chip: *whispering* I know...this moment is so pure...
Rashpaw: *blinking away tears* This concludes this episode...stay tuned for next week, viewers!