Chapter 15

After agreeing to join the crew of the Normandy, I was given the privilege of having a room to myself. Of course, Thran insisted on it. Liara was happy that I would actually be sleeping in a bed—instead of a couch in the starboard observation deck. It had just enough room for a bed, a bookcase, and a table with three chairs. Completing it was a large window to see the stars. It was more than what I could have asked for. It was perfect.

However, even finally sleeping in a bed wouldn't stop me from having nightmares. This one, in particular, was about the first time I met a krogan battle master. He was the embodiment of what I feared. After what I experienced on Tuchanka, I was terrified of the krogan. Because of that, the fear I felt when I met this battle master left me nearly crippled with fear. This was also when I first noticed my biotic abilities. The battle master nearly killed me with his own biotic abilities.

Just as I see the krogan battle master make a move to hit me, I wake up gasping for air. As I sit up, I notice that I'm covered in sweat and out of breath. "Bad dream?" Liara asks as I notice her standing by the table.

"You could say that…" I say as I'm catching my breath. She walks to me as I sit on the edge of the bed.

"What were you dreaming about?" She asks and sits next to me.

"The first time I fought a krogan battle master." I say and sigh. "It was the first time I used my biotics to fight…"

"That must have been terrifying." She says and I feel a hand rub my back.

"It was." I say as I remember it. "I was barely fourteen…Thran stepped in and saved me." I say and give a small smile. "Then, he lectured me about getting into fights."

"He seems to care a lot about you." She says and I look at her.

"Before Serana left us on Omega, the last thing we talked about was…" I say and sigh as I look away.

"What is it?" She asks.

"She told Thran to protect me for her." I say as I remember it. She told me about her connection to me while I was in the tank on Tuchanka. "She told me that she felt...she said we shared a connection. She left to figure out what that meant for herself."

"Just how close were you?" She asks and I smile.

"She felt like family." I say and Liara grabs one of my hands.

"She was very important to you, wasn't she?" Liara asks and I nod. Serana was the only person I truly trusted from the very beginning.

"She was my first friend." I say as I think about a field trip she took me on. The point was to help me understand asari culture, because I viewed her as a scientist—nothing more. So, she took me to see Thessia. "It wasn't always that way, though. I used to see her as just a scientist, because she checked my vitals every day." I say as I remember Serana calling to me so that she could check my vitals. "She said that she cared for me, but I never understood what she meant. To me, she was a scientist obsessed with data."

"You were a child. You couldn't have known any better." She says and I put a hand on hers.

"She caught me looking into her data one day." I say as I remember the day we visited Thessia. "It was all numbers, and I couldn't understand any of it. But, there was a list of names—planets." I say as I remember how angry Serana was when she caught me. "Thessia was one of them."

"Why would she have that much data on planets?" Liara asks, curious.

"She was planning on showing me the planets. But, she knew we would only be able to visit one." Say as I remember Serana coming to me, asking me what planet I wanted to see. "Even though she was angry at me for finding her notes, she asked me where I wanted to go."

"So, you chose Thessia?" Liara asks and I look at her.

"She had pictures of Thessia all over her house. It was the only planet I knew, other than Tuchanka." I say as I remember when I first stepped out of the shuttle on Thessia. I remember the beautiful lush grass and flowers lining the walkways. "When we arrived on the planet, I saw every detail I could." I say as I remember the tour Serana took me on. We went to see the Goddess Athame, what was called the "inner circle", and the city. "I thought it was more beautiful in person. There's only so much a picture can show." I say and let go of her hand to stand up as I remember seeing a statue of a Reaper. "Before we left, I saw a statue." I say as I walk to the window, hoping that looking at the stars would calm me down. I notice Liara stand up and walk to me. "It was a Reaper."

"They left it there as a memorial to Commander Shepard." Liara says and I cross my arms, trying to stay calm. "She wasn't able to stop the Reaper invasion on Thessia. Millions of asari were killed in action."

"That was the first time I started having dreams of Commander Shepard." I say and feel a gentle hand on my back, moving in to hug me. "I was having trouble seeing Thessia as it is now…because I saw the destruction—the Reapers. Serana told me what she knew about the invasion, but she never saw it in person. She said that you did. She never mentioned the commander."

"She didn't?" Liara asks.

"No. Commander Shepard was an important person to her, but she never wanted to tell me about her." I say and Liara sighs. "She did have paintings of the commander in her house, though." I continue as I think about it. "Before leaving her house whenever we would go somewhere, she would look at one of the paintings of the commander." I say and smile. "She must have thought the best of the commander, though. I found her one night…talking to a painting of Commander Shepard." I say as I remember it. "She asked…Shepard to watch over you. That was the night she left me with Thran."

"She…did that?" Liara asks and I look into her eyes.

"She did…" I say and she smiles. "…over 16 years ago. And, again five months ago when she found Thran and I on Illium." I say and raise a gentle hand to her face. "When I told her that I met you…I saw her cry for the first time. She missed you, Liara." I say and feel a tear on my hand. "She wanted me to tell you that..." I say and drop my hand down from Liara's face to hug her. "…she's sorry."

"She was angry as a child…" Liara says. "When she turned 120, she left the Normandy because she wanted to know more about her father…about Shepard. I was still mourning Shepard's death."