Her mother was here. She had broken out of prison and used her connection to the silver bracelet to find her daughter. She was thoroughly disgusted at her state, and she taunted her for her weakness with the muggles, she was angry that she wasn't strong enough to fight her previous guardian, that she had lost to a lowly muggle. She was furious that she had taken refuge at the Tonks residence. That she dared interact with a burned member of the family, with a blood traitor. She was an embarrassment to her mother, and she was going to be punished for it.
Bellatrix had to do it she said; Cassiopeia's actions practically forced her hand. She used the knife on her, slowly, exacting the maximum amount of pain from the shallowest of cuts. It was for her own good, Bellatrix said, she had to learn that she had done wrong. Cassiopeia tried to keep a straight face, tried to ignore the pain, to overcome it, but it didn't take long until she broke. She cried and screamed as her mother laughed, digging into her skin with her silver knife, whispering in her ear the whole time that it was her fault. It was always her fault. That she was a bad girl and had to be punished. She tried to fight to get out of her mothers grasp, but she was sitting on her now, using her weight to pin the girl down to the ground. Hot tears ran down her face and she was beginning to have trouble drawing breath between her cries, and the pain. The pain was intense, like fire burning across her skin.
"Cassiopeia," she heard her mother cry out, as she wrapped her arms around the crying girl, squeezing. She fought her mother, tried to get away.
"Cassiopeia, shhh, I've got you." She said, overpowering the girl.
Cassiopeia stiffened suddenly, feeling the beginnings of a very familiar curse start to overtake her. Fresh screams tore out of her throat, temporarily forgetting her fight with her mother as the pain overtook her world.
When she came back to herself she was sobbing, blubbering, "Please mother, please. I'll be good, I promise, I'll do whatever you want. Please, stop." She gasped in-between the pain.
"Oh Cassiopeia, I'm here, you're safe." Her mother crooned. She flinched, her whole body oversensitive from the Cruciatus and shivering uncontrollably, the room was dark and the arms wrapped around her were too tight, too restrictive.
She tried to fight, "Please, stop, leave me alone. Ill be good, I swear" her voice was hoarse, as she tried to gather her strength to pull away.
"Cassiopeia, you're safe, she's not here, I'm not her," her mother said, her voice strained.
Cassiopeia kept repeating her mantra of apologies and promises, hoping to appease her mother and to avoid more pain. She struggled in her grip, trying to get away.
"Andromeda," she heard distantly, a male voice this time. She shivered and tensed, hoping her punishment wouldn't continue.
"Let me try," she was confused as her mother reluctantly loosened her grip and let her go. She tried to put as much distance between herself and the woman when she let go, but was dismayed to find another take her place, a man she vaguely recognised.
"Cassiopeia, its Ted. You are having a bad dream. You are safe, you're mother is not here. She is in prison, and she will never hurt you again." The man said steadily, keeping a hand on her shoulder.
She shook her head, unwilling to believe him, a dream? She was in so much pain; she was in the Lestrange manor wasn't she? Her heart raced as the confusion turned into fear. The man kept repeating his words, telling her she was safe, to breath. She struggled, trying to follow his directions, but she found her throat was closed, that she couldn't draw in deep breaths causing a fresh wave of panic to overtake her. She looked around wildly, trying to see through the darkness to see her surroundings. She flinched away when she saw her mother, standing in the corner of her room, staring at her intently.
"Please don't hurt me." She whimpered, still trying to pull away from the man, but she was uncertain, half hearted in her attempts.
"You are safe Cassiopeia. I am Ted Tonks, and that is my wife, Andromeda, not your mother." He repeated firmly, confidently.
Cassiopeia finally stilled, her eyes adjusting to her surroundings, taking deep breaths to regain her sense of self. She was safe. She was in the Tonks house. That was Andromeda. Now that she looked, really looked, she could see the differences from her mother, she lacked the manic energy that defined her mother and she was wearing the most ridiculous pair of pyjamas that she had ever seen. She was having a nightmare, and she was safe. She was safe. She was safe.
She kept repeating this fact, trying to get her body under control, her fear turning into mortification as she took in the implications of her surroundings. She must've screamed, she woke them up, and she flushed with this realisation.
"I'm sorry Mr Tonks, Mrs Tonks." She murmured, pulling away from Ted and pushing herself into the corner of the room, pulling her legs up to her chest.
"I'm sorry I woke you. I-" she paused, closed her eyes and swallowed, "I promise it wont happen again." Her voice was small, hoarse, and her throat ached.
Andromeda approached her carefully, slowly, as if afraid she would set her off again. "Cassie, its OK, you don't need to apologise, we just want you to feel safe." She sounded worried.
Cassiopeia recoiled at the nickname, her heart rate rising again. It was too soon after the nightmare, too much like her mother. "Don't call me that." Her voice was sharp and caused Andromeda to pause briefly in surprise.
"I—Cassiopeia, please, we just want you to feel safe." Andromeda stuttered.
Cassiopeia nodded her head, and buried her face, "I'm sorry Mrs Tonks, its just, she used to call me that. You can go back to sleep, I'm fine now." Her voice was muffled, and she fought the tears that threatened to spill over as she remembered.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Ted asked, he was sitting on her bed with her, his hand hovered in the air between them, uncertain whether he should comfort her or not. She shook her head vigorously, and sniffed.
"If you're sure…" he trailed off, looking at his wife, she shrugged helplessly. She nodded, sniffing again, "we'll be just next door, if you need anything." Andromeda said softly, and together the couple left the room and left Cassiopeia alone.
When she heard her door click shut after them, she released a torrent of tears she had been desperately holding back. It had been years since she had a nightmare that intense, that real. She couldn't sleep for the rest of the night; instead she sat curled in the corner of her room, a stone sitting heavily in her stomach, mentally preparing herself for the inevitable in the morning. She had hoped that she could be fine at the Tonks house, but as always, she created problems everywhere she went. She sniffed again, wiping her nose carelessly on her arm; at least she hadn't unpacked her things the night before. She was ready for whatever came in the morning.
Xxx
Cassiopeia set her backpack against the door of the kitchen, packed and ready to go. She was silent through breakfast, her eyes downcast, mechanically eating and not tasting a single bite of the breakfast Ted Tonks had prepared for her. Andromeda was talking, not about anything important, just this and that, small talk to fill the room with noise. She didn't respond, barely listened, just counted down the moments to when they approached the subject of the previous night. She finished her food, drank her coffee, and folded her hands in her lap.
"If you're done eating we can head out whenever you want kiddo." It was Ted; he insisted she call him Ted the previous night. He was clearing up the plates, frowning at the coffee cup in front of her in mild disapproval but remained silent.
She took a deep breath, swallowing a lump in her throat and folded in on herself. At least it was a painless transition, she wondered if it would be painless when she returned to the group home.
Andromeda busied herself, gathering coats, fussing with her purse contents. Cassiopeia got up slowly, mechanically put on the coat Andromeda was handing her, and sniffed quietly. She would not cry. She had promised herself she would not cry this time. But she couldn't help the burning gathering behind her eyes, she had promised herself that she wouldn't get attached to this idea, that it was just temporary. She hated herself for her reaction, it was ridiculous, she had only known the Tonk's for just one day.
She hoped she could still visit the Weasleys' when she was back in the group home. Maybe they would come there, she could show Mr Weasley around the muggle town, he would like that. She swallowed thickly again, thinking about the funny image of Mr Weasley in her tiny muggle town cheered her up marginally.
"Cassiopeia, why are you bringing your bag?" It was Andromeda, she sounded perplexed.
Her head shot up and she eyed Mr and Mrs Tonks for the first time that morning. Ted had stilled by the door, his jacket half on, he was holding a large bag of coins, and also looked confused.
"I will need my things when I go back there." She gripped her bag tighter; they surely weren't going to take her things would they? She didn't think they were those sort of people, she hoped at least.
"Go back? Where do you think we are going?" It was Ted, he was studying her intently now and it made her want to squirm.
They were going to be like this? They were going to make her say it, make her own up to her own faults. They were making her explain her inadequacies; she did start crying now, bitterly. The fact she was crying made her want to cry more out of frustration, how dare they do this do her?
She wiped her nose angrily and stared at the floor now, "you're taking me back there, to the group home. Because I am worthless crying little girl who can't even sleep through the night." She ground out, hating them for making her say it. It was after all something her previous guardians had always told her. Just because it was the truth didn't mean she had to like it.
The room was silent for a beat, Ted and Andromeda looked shocked, speechless. Andromeda recovered first, reaching for the crying girl, ignoring the way she stiffened in her grip. "No—we would never, Merlin, is that what you thought?" she pressed the girls face into her shoulder and looked at Ted hopelessly.
"I—is that why you were so quiet at breakfast? I just thought I was a bad cook?" he tried to laugh at his joke, but it came out strained. "Cass, we are going to a muggle arcade. Remember, we spoke about it last night? Space invaders and Pac Man?" he held up a bag of coins weakly, "I pulled out muggle coins earlier this morning, when you were still sleeping."
She stilled in Andromeda's grip, no longer struggling as she took in his words. He was referring to her cast, Ted had noticed she had doodled her favourite game characters on it, being a muggle born wizard he had recognised the figures and had suggested the previous night over tea that they should try a local arcade. Of course she remembered, it was the first time she had felt any sort of optimism about this whole arrangement.
"But—" she pulled herself out of the older woman's grasp to look over at Ted, "last night, I woke you up, I attacked you." Her tears started to dry up as disbelief began to take over.
"Cass, you were having a nightmare," Andromeda pushed the girl's curls out of the way so she could make direct eye contact, it was important to her that the girl understood her next words. "We would never send you back to that place Cassiopeia, no matter what you do. And we especially wouldn't send you back for something as simple as minor as a nightmare. And you are not worthless, it's okay to cry."
Cassiopeia stared at the woman, turning her words over in her mind, examining them from all angles, looking for the loophole, the catch. So focussed on this she barely noticed Ted's hand coming to rest on her shoulders, "We're family Cassiopeia, it is something me and 'dromeda take very seriously. We'll be here for as long as you have us." He squeezed her shoulder gently to emphasise his words.
She stilled and her mind raced as she listened to their words, incredulous before she shook her head. "You cant feel that way," she murmured, pulling out of Ted's grasp and pushing her back against the wall. "You just met me yesterday, how can you feel all of that. You're just lying, to make me feel better." It had to be true, they couldn't possibly feel that way, and they didn't even know her. How could they?
Andromeda clasped her hands in front of her, as if praying and squeezed her eyes shut, seemingly holding back her own tears. "Cassiopeia, family means everything to me, to us," she grasped Ted's hand and smiled lovingly, sadly, at him. "I chose this family, over the Blacks. We have known about you for years, we waited for this moment for years, and now that you're finally here, we wouldn't dream of abandoning you. We will always be here for you, for as long as you have us." She was crying now, and Ted's eyes were shining.
Cassiopeia took a few breaths, thought about her aunt's words, and after thinking about it, analysing the true meaning, she finally understood. The Tonks were idealists she realised. They wanted a family, Andromeda wanted to reconcile with the family that burned her, wanted a part of that. She wanted what Cassiopeia represented, a symbol of her past.
She relaxed, finally understanding their motives. They didn't want her necessarily, who would? If they really knew her, their idealist image would be shattered. She bit her lip, thinking quickly. They said they would keep her for as long as she'd have them, and what choice did she have? They seemed mostly nice, they were clear they wouldn't abandon her after a bad nightmare, and they had shown no inclination towards violence so far. If she could hide her true self, the monster who tortured innocents with unforgivables and attacked people with knives, if she could behave, this would be an ideal place to wait out her temporary freedom. She knew it was temporary, she knew that one day her mother would come for her, and she'd be her pawn once again.
She nodded, happy that the world made sense again, and put her bag down. "You were serious about the arcade?" she asked, hesitantly, wondering if they were still leaving or not.
Andromeda looked relieved, and tried to quickly wipe her tears away, and Ted smiled brightly, patting his wife on the back and grabbed the bag of coins. "I play a mean game of Asteroids, but first I think we need some ice cream."
"What are asteroids?" Andromeda asked, straightening her hair, Ted grinned at her and winked at Cassiopeia, "It's my favourite game…" He continued to explain the game mechanics to his wife, who had very little experience with the muggle world and had never stepped into an arcade, she hadn't even understood the word when they discussed it the night previously.
Cassiopeia followed them, still quiet on the walk to the arcade, half listening to Ted's explanation and half thinking about her life, and how quickly it was changing again. She fingered her silver bracelet, it felt cool against her fingers, and thought about her mother's tracking charm. She wondered how long she had, and if it even mattered what she did to pass the time.
She thought about Hogwarts, about what the castle would be like, she wondered if she'd like her classes, how she would do in them. She wondered about the other children, and whether she'd get along with them. If she would get along with the Tonks' child, Nymphadora, who would be home visiting for Easter the following week. And she wondered about Charlie Weasley, the boy who had changed her life what felt like an eternity ago. She thought about all these things until her mind thankfully went blank as she focussed on beating her high score at Pac Man.
Xxx
Nymphadora Tonks was the nearly the exact opposite of Cassiopeia in every way, and Cassiopeia was finding her presence exhausting.
She was boisterous, dramatic, colourful, and friendly. She filled a room with her personality, she was always cheerful, had no concept of an inside voice, and everything she did was to draw attention to herself. Her hair varied wildly in colour moment to moment, as she experimented with the most outrageous looks, and she cared very deeply how she looked, and hid this fact behind a veil of feigned nonchalance.
Cassiopeia was quiet, small, and generally preferred to not draw attention to herself. She wouldn't say she had style, but if she did, miss 'don't call me Nymphadora' was cramping it. Andromeda took the pair out for a day in Diagon Alley, something Cassiopeia had been looking forward to anxiously since the plan was announced, because they were meeting up with the Weasleys' while there.
They were running late because Nymphadora loudly mused over which clothing combination she would wear, all the while listening to loud hideous noise that she called music over the wizarding wireless. Cassiopeia had been ready in minutes to go, having only a few items of clothing to choose from, she never much put stock in her appearances. The delay set her on edge, and she retreated into the living room, with a closed door to calm herself, and to distract herself with some better music from her tape deck. Her palms were sweaty and she felt nauseous, suddenly regretting eating breakfast with quite so much gusto, worried about what the Weasleys', more importantly what Charlie, would think of her.
"Nymphadora Tonks, you hurry up this instant!" Andromeda shouted up at the girl.
Cassiopeia barely repressed a flinch as the sudden outburst cut through her music.
She didn't cover it well enough because Ted Tonks, who was sitting a reclining chair next to her, caught it. He frowned at her a little, before glancing up at the ceiling where the sounds of objects being thrown around could be heard as the young girl emptied her wardrobe.
"Moooooooom!" she cried, "I never get to wear my normal clothes at school, and I want it to be perfect!" Cassiopeia rolled her eyes and turned up the volume.
After what seemed like an eternity the younger Tonks girl was ready to be seen in public, wearing a garish t-shirt with patchwork trousers and black boots she was a sight to behold. That wasn't taking into account her shocking orange hair.
"Wotcher Cass!" the girl said cheerfully, completely unaware of how ridiculous she looked.
Andromeda looked put out at her choice of clothing and hair, but had long since learned that if they didn't leave immediately, they would definitely be late. There was a time and place when she could pick these fights, and this was not one of them.
Cassiopeia didn't respond to the greeting, she just furrowed her brows. Nymphadora didn't seem to mind or even notice the girl didn't respond, already giving her father a dazzling smile.
"What do you think Daddy?" she did a twirl and laughed at the pained expression on Ted's face, "It's very, er… Bright Dora."
Cassiopeia stood up, carefully slipped her headphones off her head and turned off her music, looking around expectantly. Ted stood and held his hand out to Cassiopeia, "Come on now, we'll apparated since we are so late already. Dromeda will take Dora, and you can come with me Cass," she swallowed, looking at his offered hand, ignoring her new nickname. She had never agreed to it, but that didn't seem to matter too much to the Tonks family. She didn't dislike it anyways.
Carefully she grasped his hand, gripping hard enough that she was certain she wouldn't splinch, but not hard enough to betray her nerves. She couldn't do much about the other signs of her anxiety, particularly her sweaty palms, but Ted didn't mention it and she certainly wasn't going to bring it up.
Soon she found herself in a very busy pub, and Cassiopeia instinctually shrunk back behind Ted in the face of so many people, making herself as small as possible. Ted wrapped his arm reassuring around her shoulder, and she reluctantly found herself pushing close against him, trying to use him as a shield.
That was until she spotted a very familiar set of red heads, standing near the centre of the pub. It seemed the Weasleys spotted them at the same moment she did, and before she could process how it happened she was pulled out of Ted's arms and into a bone-crushing hug from Mrs Weasley. She stiffened in alarm at the sudden physical contact until a familiar smell of baked biscuits and fresh laundry invaded her nostrils. It wasn't long before she was clutching to Mrs Weasley just as fiercely as she was to her, her eyes burning a little. After a long moment Mrs Weasleys grip was replaced by Mr Weasleys, whom she hugged back just a fiercely. She sniffed as they finally pulled away, smiling at Mr Weasley particularly.
"Sorry about last time." She said quietly.
Mr Weasley looked mildly confused, "for running away," she looked meaningfully at Mrs Weasley, "and for the ministry" she looked at Mr Weasley now.
Molly quickly brushed a tear away, and Arthur hastily cleared his throat, "nonsense, I just wish we could have done more to help you." Molly said, giving her another quick hug to assert her meaning.
"Hello!" shouted Nymphadora, startling the trio, "Name's Tonks, you must be Charlie, I've seen you around Hogwarts. Gryffindor right?" Nymphadora smiled brightly at the Weasley family, and drawing Cassiopeia's attention away from the Weasley heads to the rest of the clan.
Bill, their eldest child, stood tall though looked mildly uncomfortable at the whole scene. He had never really spoken to Cassiopeia when she stayed with them, as she wouldn't go anywhere near him. Behind him was Percy, their third child. He had only been a toddler when she was last there. He held the hand of two small boys, the twins. She smiled at how big they had gotten. They were barely new-borns, now they were walking, talking, and trying to escape their brother's grasp. Then she saw him, Charlie, standing awkwardly aside from his parent, unsure of how to act around her.
Unconsciously she moved closer to him, as if to embrace the boy before she stilled, just outside of his reach, uncertain. She smiled at him shyly, before digging into her pocket for his present.
She held out a purple package with a smiling frog on it to him uncertainly, "it's my favourite sweet. You asked me once, what I liked." She shrugged, her face reddening, "this is it. It's from the muggle world, but that doesn't mean its bad."
He took it, and smiled brightly, "Brilliant! Thank you! What's it called? I brought some more Every Flavoured Beans for you to try too." He grinned, excitedly, pulling out a familiar box of sweets and handing it to her.
"Look dad, it's from the muggle world." He held out the small bar for his father to examine.
A giddy look overtook Arthurs face and Cassiopeia couldn't help the laugh that escaped her. She relaxed for the first time in a long time, at ease with the familiar family she thought she'd never see again.
"It's called a Freddo you say," he winked at his son, Fred who laughed at his name, "and its chocolate, in the shape of a frog? How do they do it? How marvellous and clever!" he gave the chocolate back to Charlie and Ted Tonks explained the process of chocolate making.
Once Mr Weasley realised Ted Tonks was muggle born he instantly peppered him with questions. Ted smiled, delighted and amused by the older mans questions. Andromeda and Nymphadora cooed over the latest Weasley addition, asking Molly questions about her youngest child, Ron who was three.
The rest of day passed, Charlie and Cassiopeia catching up, she regaled him with stories of arcades and her club house that she built in the muggle world, and he, being a second year, told her all about Hogwarts, the houses, and his classes. They didn't get much shopping done, being such a big group with so many young children, but they did manage to get ice cream, bought more sweets, and butterbeers and that was more than enough for her.
Andromeda, Molly, and Arthur sat together at the Leaky Cauldron, watching all the kids enjoy their respective drinks. Ted and Bill were in a deep conversation about quidditch and his upcoming O.W.L.S., Nymphadora was playing with the twins and Ron, keeping them entertained with her shape shifting hair and features. Percy was sitting quietly on his own, reading very seriously a book that did not have pictures he declared. Cassiopeia and Charlie had their heads together as they swapped Every Flavoured Beans, and whispered quietly.
"How is she doing?" Molly asked quietly.
Andromeda took a sip of her butterbeer, trying to order her thoughts. "I don't know exactly what's happened to her, she wont talk about anything to do with her past." Andromeda started, frowning. "She had nightmares, obviously about her," she scowled, "Ted has to console her, seeing me seems to upset her more." Her scowl turned back into a frown, and she looked mildly hurt by the circumstances.
"The house they had her in was filthy, and if you think she's skinny now you should have seen her when she arrived" Andromeda continued, a trace of her nobility coming through in her disgust of the circumstances before she softened slightly. "Honestly, this is the most we've seen her talk, and I don't think I've ever seen her look so relaxed." Andromeda sniffed, and smiled slightly, "She has a beautiful laugh, I don't think I've heard it before today."
The Weasleys took in this news quietly, nodding. "I saw her, after she ran away from us, at the Ministry. If I had a little more time, or—" he swallowed, "I could have saved her from some of this. She could've been with us much sooner." He sounded miserable.
Andromeda smiled sadly at him, "you would have died, you and your whole family if you had intervened." Arthur looked mildly shocked at the matter of fact tone Andromeda took.
"We knew the risks, we could have hid her." Molly straightened, defensive.
Andromeda shook her head, "my sister is deranged. But she is also unfortunately very clever, especially when it comes to creating spells. That silver bracelet on her wrist is one of her creations, a tracking spell that is connected to her. Both Ted and myself have examined it, but its complicated and we are not expert spell breakers. If you had taken her then, no amount of hiding would have been enough and she would have found you." She swallowed thickly, looking over at the scene in front of her, "you have a beautiful family, thank Merlin she never did find you." The Weasleys were silent with this new information, and mourned for Cassiopeia's past.
"We can't change what happened, but we can change her future. She will never be alone again, not while we are still alive." Molly said, steel determination entering her eyes. She clasped her husband's hand who nodded firmly in agreement and
Andromeda marvelled at the feelings Cassiopeia inspired inside the family. But she wasn't surprised; after all she had come to care deeply for the child, despite only knowing her for a little over a week.
Xxx
"Are you ready for that cast to come off Miss Smith." Her eye twitched as the doctor used her fake muggle name but let it slide. It was the name that was on her NHS record.
"Please," she said simply, eagerly hold out her cast.
Andromeda and Ted sat in chairs behind her against the wall. Andromeda looked pale and clutched at Ted, still reeling from the muggle doctor's explanation of her medical procedure. She had been particularly horrified when they explained they had to re set the bone and pin it together. It had been a fairly bad break initially, but the latest X-Rays showed it had healed very nicely. She'd always have a scar, but her arm was almost good as new.
"Now you may be wondering how we get those casts off Mildred, and well the short answer is we use a saw."
Cassiopeia's eye twitched again and she heard Andromeda's strangled choke as the doctor showed her a small tool with a circular saw head on top. She buzzed it a few times for effect and she swallowed, it was all worth it to get the blasted thing off her arm. She was practically salivating at the thought of giving her arm a proper scratch.
"Now it sounds much worse than it actually is. I promise I wont hurt you, and it wont take more than a few minutes. Are you ready?"
She swallowed again and nodded, trying to tune out the high pitch whir of the electric saw. True to her word, she made quick work of her cast, skilfully making two cuts on either side before pulling it off. She sighed loudly as she felt air make contact with her arm for the first time in over a month. It was wonderful.
"Do you want to keep the cast?" She couldn't help the snort that left her mouth,
"Burn it, please." She retorted. The Doctor laughed and set it aside.
"Now your arm is going to be weak for a few weeks, try to not overstress it or overwork it. Any pain come right back. If there is nothing else, then you are all done" She nodded, accepting a wet wipe from the doctor and wiped her positively ripe arm down.
"Ah—" she eyed the saw, an idea coming to mind. "I do have one other problem," she glanced nervously at the Tonks, her face reddening.
The Doctor caught the look and said gently, "your parents don't have to be here if you don't want them, but I do have to get their permission for some things." She said kindly.
"Er, they're not my parents…it's fine I guess, that they stay here. I have this bracelet, and I wondered how sharp that thing was?" she nodded towards the saw.
The Doctor raised her eyebrows in surprise, but examined the silver bracelet. "How long have you had this on?"
"Since I was a small child, my mother put it on, and now it's um, stuck."
The doctor nodded, "well I don't want to just cut it as a first resort, lets try a few other things first?"
It took the Doctor twenty minutes of trying to wriggle it off with lubricant before she gave up and acknowledged that cutting it off what the only way.
What happened next shouldn't have surprised Cassiopeia as much as it did. The Doctor tried with a few other cutting devices, explaining that silver wasn't too hard and a sturdy pair of what looked like side clippers should do the job.
Instead the Doctor bent two pairs of side clippers. Next she moved to a heavier duty set of clippers, meant for stronger metals, and was met with the same result. Dull and bent clippers. She called in a few colleagues, who each tried again with various smaller clippers, all finishing their life as bent and deformed.
Reluctantly they tried with the saw, after carefully wrapping her hand with padding and moving very slowly, they attempted the cut. Sparks flew immediately and the saw head was worn down to nothing.
It became a mission, another doctor had diamond tipped blades, and they explained nothing is harder than diamond; it should definitely make the cut. The diamond tip blade met the same fate, sparks and nearly instant dulling. She did feel the metal heat up a bit at that attempt, but the bracelet remained stubbornly on her wrist. Next they brought in a larger set of clippers, meant for cutting through security locks, to everyone shock and consternation these also bent perfectly out of shape, with a small rectangular indent in the profile of the bracelet was left on the cutting edge.
Three hours, five doctors, two technicians, and even the janitor all had a go breaking the bracelet before they each gave up. It took Cassiopeia all of thirty minutes to lose hope, but the hospital staff were particularly annoyed and were motivated by that annoyance. The end result was the same, they all declared defeat and suggested that she see the original jeweller to figure out what type of metal it was.
The house was quiet that night over dinner; Tonks had gone back to school the week previously, and for once Cassiopeia was missing her larger than life personality. She would have made an excellent distraction. As it was, she went up to her room early, tried unsuccessfully to distract herself by reading, before falling into a fitful sleep. She had another nightmare that night; her mother was equal parts enraged and mocking to her for even trying to break the bracelet with silly muggle technologies. She woke up in the early morning in a pool of sweat, shivering. Her throat was dry but not hoarse and she was alone, meaning she hadn't called out in her sleep. She was thankful for that, thankful for the privacy. She cried for the rest of the morning, hating her mother, and wishing with all her soul that she could burn the stupid bracelet off her wrist.
Xxx
Months passed at the Tonks household relatively peacefully, Cassiopeia continued to have her nightmares, but they became less vivid as she settled into her surroundings and routine. She rarely woke up the other inhabitants of the household in the middle of the night, which see saw as a great improvement.
She still shied from unexpected physical contact but she warmed to Andromeda and Ted, thankful that they seemed to be good people. But she wasn't necessarily comfortable; Andromeda especially could set her on edge when she entered her peripheral vision unexpectedly. She never told Andromeda about her reaction to her, but she suspected Andromeda had noticed her slight hitch in breathing.
The Tonks were very observant, something she found highly annoying. She was not used to such scrutiny from people, having gone most of her life relatively ignored. It wasn't long before the Tonks' could pick up on her subtle tells of discomfort or panic. They also noticed her extreme coffee intake and had slowly been trying to convert her to tea instead of the stronger liquid. She humoured them, but she woke up before either of the Tonks' and would have a few cups before they awoke. She also stayed up later than them, sipping coffee through the middle of the night.
Andromeda had taken her shopping a few times, to buy more clothes and room furnishings. Cassiopeia was shy at first, unused to having a choice in her clothing and surroundings. While at the Lestrange Manor servants provided all her clothing for her, she never got to choose her own robes. In the muggle world she wore school uniforms and whatever clothes fit her in the group home. She was overwhelmed by the sudden choice and uncertain of fashions. In the end she had only reluctantly picked out a few new sets of wizarding robes, and all ones that Andromeda had pointed out to her as viable options.
One morning Ted left early for work and Andromeda approached her with what looked like a family album and a very serious look on her face. Cassiopeia eyed her carefully, a knot forming in her stomach as she examined the older woman.
"Cassiopeia, I think its time you and I have a little chat about well many things." She spoke slowly, making sure the younger girl understood everything she was saying.
Cassiopeia reluctantly agreed, took a hasty sip of tea to wet her suddenly dry mouth and followed Andromeda into the sitting room. She placed the album on the coffee table heavily, and sighed.
"I started dating Ted in my sixth year, and I knew that I loved him in my last year at Hogwarts. I understood that my family was wrong about their prejudices, that I was wrong, and that muggleborns were just as good as everyone else. I knew I would be burned out of the family, and so I started to save things, to remember them by." She opened the book and showed Cassiopeia the contents. It was filled with magical pictures, of people that looked an awful lot like her and Andromeda.
"This is the Black family, we are one of the oldest and pure magical family lines in the country. I took all of these pictures from my childhood home; I wanted to show them to you so you could know where you come from. I don't see my sister telling you these things, she was not the sentimental type." She was sad as she looked at the photos of her past.
Cassiopeia shrugged, "my mother told me some things, about blood purity. About my blood purity specifically. But she never spoke of any other family," she scrunched up her face, trying to remember a time where Bellatrix spoke anything about family.
"I have an aunt, another one. I met her once, but I never saw her again." She shrugged again, feeling uncomfortable about the situation.
She spent most of her day trying to forget about her life, burying herself in books and television instead. This was doing the exact opposite. Andromeda nodded and flipped a few pages to a picture of three girls, smiling and waving at the camera.
"Narcissa, she's the youngest of the Black sisters. She married Lucius Malfoy." Cassiopeia examined the picture closely, recognising the name of her husband,
"Malfoy. I remember him, I saw him a few times with the Dark— With my parents." she stopped suddenly, her blood cooling as she realised her mistake, she gave Andromeda a sideways glance to see whether she had caught the mistake.
Andromeda had caught the mistake, but chose to ignore it for now. This was the most the child had ever spoken about her past, and she didn't want to scare her off yet.
"I was thirteen when they took this picture, it was on one of our summer holidays." Andromeda moved on, and tapped the girl in the middle; she was smiling and beaming up at her older sister. At Bellatrix. Cassiopeia stared at the picture of her mother, she looked softer somehow, happy and innocent. It was hard to reconcile this image with the one she held of her mother.
"We were best friends, I idolised her when we were younger. She was our big sister, our protector, and our leader. She wasn't always the way she is today; I wanted you to know that. To show you that."
They spent some time going through the photos together, Andromeda laughing as she told funny stories about the shenanigans that the three sisters had gotten up to in their youth. She seemed wistful, melancholic as she remembered and Cassiopeia was captivated by this lost past, only commenting when she recognised a name or a person's face. She reacted a bit too sharply when she saw a picture of Andromeda's cousin, Sirius Black, hissing with disapproval. Andromeda seemed surprised that she had known her cousin, but didn't ask for any details, something Cassiopeia was relieved by. She let out a long sigh when they reached the end of the photo album and they sat in silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts.
"Why did you show this to me?" Cassiopeia asked finally, trying and failing to understand. Looking at the album had stirred confusing emotions in her. Emotions she didn't want to analyse, emotions she rathered were not there. She struggled with the emotions, missing her usual numb emptiness that she cultivated.
"I wanted you to know your background before you make you next decision." She said softly, looking at the girl very seriously. "You have two choices to make right now, and both will define who you want to be, but these choices need to be made before you go to Hogwarts in a few months, before you are brought back fully into the greater wizarding world." Andromeda paused, trying to find the right words.
"You need a legal guardian Cass. I—we—Ted and I that is, want to make a formal request to adopt you. You can of course say no, but well, the courts try to keep families together as much as possible. With our request the courts will look for any other relatives who might contest the adoption. They will listen to you first, respect your choice. They always do, but just know that you do have more family out there." Cassiopeia listened numbly, a familiar overwhelming anxiety started to fill her as she processed her words.
"You mean, I can stay here, or go with the Malfoys."
Andromeda nodded, "you don't have to make your decision now, but it is something to think about. I'm sure they would love to get to know you as well," Andromeda swallowed thickly, forcing the next words out of her mouth reluctantly. "If you like, we can arrange a meeting. Narcissa wont see me, but I'm sure something can be sorted. If that's what you want."
Cassiopeia was silent, trying to remember her other aunt. Narcissa, she remembered her name now. She had visited the manor once, with her husband and had spoken to her kindly. She was the one who brought her the box of chocolates that her father had later lightly poisoned for his amusement.
She saw the man, her husband, more often. She remembered his eyes, cold as death and steely grey. He was there when she went out with her mother for her special training sessions. They didn't like each other she remembered, her mother and Malfoy. She had seen him kill people, ruthlessly and he had witnessed her crimes as well. He knew what type of monster hid inside Cassiopeia, he probably understood it, the dark feelings she experienced with her mother. He might even encourage them; she shuddered feeling suddenly nauseous as the memories threatened to overtake her. She could almost smell the smoke, could hear the sounds of breaking bones and screaming, she could remember the warmth of her mother, supportive. She loved those moments, and she hated herself for that.
Andromeda's arm snaked around the girl as she pulled her closer, sensing her distress. "I'm sorry, I know it's a bit much, you don't have to make any decisions now."
Cassiopeia let out a shuddering breath and closed her eyes, focussing on wrestling her emotions into submission. She took all the dark memories invading her mind and shoved them deep into a black hole in the back of her mind. It was where she kept all of her dark thoughts and feelings, a super massive black hole.
"You said I had a second decision to make." Her voice was thick, she had a lump in her throat and she struggled to keep her nausea at bay.
"Look, we don't have to talk about this now." Andromeda was backpedalling, a little alarmed at the emotions she saw flickering across the girls face. Revulsion, fear, hatred, and panic.
"Please. Andromeda, I don't want to have this conversation again." She was going to have to go somewhere far away to regain her centre this, she might as well get through it all.
"Your name Cass. Your parents are infamous for their crimes, and they hurt a lot of people during the war. Unfortunately people will judge you unfairly for their deeds. You have a choice; you can keep your name, your parents name and face their judgement head on. Or, and only if you want, Ted and I have discussed this at length, and we both would be honoured if you wanted to take our name. Become a Tonks." Andromeda was nervous, worried that she'd somehow offend the girl.
Cassiopeia was staring at Andromeda, her eyes wide, searching and disbelieving. "I'm sure the Malfoy's would offer the same choice as well." She added, feeling a little sick to her stomach. The girl jerked at the Malfoy name, terror and revulsion flickering across her face briefly.
"You would adopt me, and give me your name? Let me become a Tonks?" A new emotion swelled in her chest, and she felt her throat begin to close with it, her nose burned and her eyes watered. She wasn't sure what the feeling was, but it was nearly overwhelming.
"You cant want that, you don't want me sullying your name." it was hard to speak, the Tonks' had been nothing but good to her, but if they knew, really knew who she was, they wouldn't be offering this. She worried about the day when they did find out, when they saw the monster lurking within.
Andromeda looked shocked and mildly offended at the girl's declaration.
"Cassiopeia, of course you wont sully our name! We, collectively, even Dora, want you to live with us and be part of our family." She was vehement in her affirmation.
Cassiopeia shook her head, tears clouding her vision as she pulled away from the older woman. She didn't understand, and how could she? They were such bloody idealists, and so disgustingly friendly. The last few months had been the best in her short miserable existence, and it was all going so well. If they knew what really lurked inside her they wouldn't want her anywhere near them. But, the offer was tempting. She had kept her demons at bay the last few months, not feeling a single violent urge in all her time there, something that must have been a record. She could do this, she might never be someone to do the Tonks name proud, but she could at least try to be a decent person.
She nodded, not trusting her voice to speak, not trusting herself to not spill all of her darkest secrets. She was so close to, so close to telling Andromeda about the truth of her relationship with her mother, about the monster inside of her, but she selfishly tamped down that emotion and buried it in the black hole with the rest of her bad memories. Nobody had to know, she reasoned, and she would rather die than tell them the truth. It was her secret to hide, and taking their name gave her all the more motivation to keep that hidden.
Andromeda's face lit up with joy and excitement, "Are you certain? You don't have to make your decision now, you can have time to think about it." Cassiopeia nodded firmly, and tried to smile at the woman, swallowing her self revulsion thickly, "nothing would make me happier than living here, with your family. And becoming a Tonks."
Andromeda was full of energy for the rest of the day, immediately owling Ted and Dora with the good news. They went out to dinner and the arcade that evening, and for once Cassiopeia didn't mind the outpouring of affection from the couple.