A PERFECT LOVE
A/N: SURPRISE! I've done another short K18 one-shot! This one focuses on Eighteen coming to terms with the reality that she has fallen for a certain someone. This was a pretty interesting topic to write about and I trust you will enjoy this short story.
Acceptance
Feelings are frustrating...
You can't fully trust them since they're intangible and don't present themselves with any sense of rationality. Yet, I've never encountered more powerful forces in my life. And it confuses the hell out of me.
I've often wondered if I had been made without the ability to feel emotions, would my life be significantly better? I brought such a thought to Krillin a little while ago, during one of our routine rooftop conversations. He simply chuckled at my suggestion, before adding with a discerning grin, "Well, then you wouldn't be human."
But isn't that kinda the point? I'm not human. I had my humanity ruthlessly torn away from me by that disgusting old man, whose name I refuse to even utter. Hell, I have no recollection as to who I was thanks to that monster coming along and recreating me into whatever kind of freak I am now. I feel so angry just at the thought of what he did to me and my brother, and that annoys me!
I frequently allow myself to enter this mental spiral of trying to work out my feelings and emotions, without any sense of closure or understanding. Confusion takes over as I figure out who I'm supposed to be or what I'm supposed to feel. In the end, I just get dizzy and irritated by the seemingly unnecessary burden of emotions. That's why I keep my distance from people. That's why I choose to act coldly. I find it's much easier to repress my emotions, rather than deal with them.
At least, that's what I previously believed.
It's only up until recently that I discovered there was one evident flaw with my logic. One infuriating exception. My attempts to repress it have ended in total failure and my icy exterior quickly melts away when confronting this particular emotion. This one exception is love.
There's this unexplainable warmth that flickers in my heart whenever I encounter it. I used to wish I could describe this feeling so I could perceive the best way to extinguish its burning flame. But the more I invited love's warmth to expand in my heart, all the mental gymnastics I had been previously putting myself through appeared all the more trivial. Love is the one emotion I don't wish to understand. For whatever reason, love just makes sense, even when it shouldn't.
I think back to Krillin's words he shared with me and I see his point. If I don't welcome my emotions, I'll be nothing more than a mere shell of existence. That's something I would have been more than content with before. But not anymore. Not since he's been in my life, that is.
It makes me a little sad and regretful as to how coldly I treated Krillin when I first moved into Kame House. I was needlessly mean-spirited towards him because I wrongly assumed that he looked at me the same way the rest of the world did; not human. Just an object to fawn over and then reject.
But no matter how cold I've been to him, Krillin has treated me with nothing but respect and dignity, even when I was far from deserving it. He's always made sure I've been comfortable with my unorthodox living arrangements and he's never overstepped his boundaries. I'll only ever admit to being wrong if I truly believe that I'm at fault and when it comes to Krillin, I admit that I misjudged him rather unfairly.
Granted, he does have an incredibly cheesy sense of humour and he does need to boost his self-esteem. But nevertheless, I've come to find that Krillin is a genuinely kind-hearted guy and any girl in the world would be lucky to have him. Except, I don't want anyone else to have him; I want him to be with me.
To be honest, I never thought I would ever need or even enjoy the feeling of love. I certainly never intended to become attracted to Krillin, let alone befriend him. I mean how absurd is it that I, a cyborg designed for destruction and terror, has fallen for a tiny monk without a nose? I guess that's just how love works.
I've finally come to accept that I'll never fully grasp the concept of my emotions. From time to time, I'll find myself getting aggravated by my feelings of aggravation. But one thing's for certain, I'm tired of fighting love. I welcome it. I treasure it. I am completely surrendered to it. I accept that I am in love with Krillin and I want him to be mine.
Now, I gotta go find Krillin before I talk myself out of this again.
THE END
A/N: I am aiming to be more consistent with my K18 writing this year. But I also want to be sure I'm writing stories that my readers are interested in. So please let me know if you are enjoying my content and what ideas you would like to see me write about in future K18 one-shots.
Anyway, if you enjoy my work as much as I enjoy writing it, feel free to follow and favourite this story so you can be up to date with my latest work. I hope you enjoyed my latest story and until the next one, peace.
:)