Notes: Written for Amber's Attic at Hogwarts' Writing Club. The prompt was Martian Manhunter: Write about a spy.Also written for Trope Bingo round 12. The prompt was Fake Relationship. WC = 650

"Honestly darling, you should visit my hairdresser sometime" said the woman who had become Natasha's neighbor the past few weeks. What was her name again? June. Yes, that was it. Natasha had to resist the urge to punch June in the face for calling her darling.

Instead, the redhead pasted on a smile and said "I'll keep that in mind." Then she pretended to check her watch. "Oh dear. I'm running late to meet my wife for lunch." As quickly as possible, she fled the scene.

When she arrived at the house where she was currently living, Natasha slammed the door. This caused Wanda to come and see what had happened. "What's wrong?" she asked the other woman. Although Natasha was usually good at hiding her emotions, Wanda had gotten better at reading them over the past couple weeks.

"The people in this town are such assholes" said Natasha. "I never thought suburban housewives would be the death of me, but it's starting to look that way."

Wanda chuckled. "Well, with any luck we'll be out of this place soon enough." They were closing in on their target, an elementary school principal who they suspected was secretly the leader of an organization preaching violence against superheroes.

Natasha sighed. "Honestly, I cannot get out of this place quick enough" she said. The suburbs weren't so bad; but the people who lived there were such passive-aggressive assholes. "June just implied that my hair looked bad."

Wanda frowned. "How dare she?" she said, closing the distance between herself and Natasha. "June looks likes she escaped from the set of Stepford Wives with that beehive of hers. She has no room to talk."

Natasha laughed. "You know, I didn't think women still wore their hair like that. Doesn't it hurt, having all that weight on your head?"

Wanda shook her head. "Not when you don't have a brain" she deadpanned. "Which she clearly doesn't, to say such obnoxious things to your face."

Feeling a bit better at Wanda's words, Natasha said "Anyway, what's for lunch?" During their time in suburban exile, the redhead had learned her friend was a surprisingly good cook.

"I made us sesame chicken" said Wanda, heading towards the kitchen. Natasha followed after her. "Because I know you've been missing the takeout in New York." While it didn't taste exactly the same, Wanda thought it was a pretty close imitation.

"I'm sure it's great" said Natasha, sitting down at the kitchen table. "Even if it isn't, it'll still put the Chinese takeout in this town to shame." How did people in the suburbs survive without decent Chinese food? She took a bite of the sesame chicken and had to admit that it tasted pretty good. "I was right; this is great" she said after swallowing.

Wanda felt her face flush. "Thanks" she said, taking a bite.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, just enjoying each other's company. Then Wanda said "Are you ready for the rally tonight?" One of the neighbors had convinced the couple to come to a meeting at the local elementary school. It was supposed to be a meeting of the Neighborhood Watch. They suspected it was, in fact, a recruiting session.

"Am I ever" said Natasha. "As fun as pretending to be married to you has been, I want to get to my normal life."

Wanda snorted. "Yeah, our normal life of batting supervillains and saving the world" she said.

Natasha raised her eyebrows. "Don't tell me you want to stay here?" she said.

Wanda shook her head. "No, of course not." Living in the suburbs made her feel even more like an outsider than she usually did. "But it was nice to have what everybody else has, for once."

Natasha nodded slowly. "I can see the appeal of being married to you." She watched with pleasure as Wanda's face turned bright red again.