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"Mama! You slept with me!" Yuri's voice exclaimed early the next morning. A tiny finger stabbed itself into her closed eyelid, jolting Galina abruptly awake.
"Good morning, honey," Galina mumbled, with her eyes still closed tightly. Her hand reached up to clutch at the offending fingers that had poked her. Bringing Yuri's tiny hand to her mouth she kissed its base and then smiled.
"Mama, mama you got to wake up," Yuri commanded, shaking Galina's shoulder with his free hand. She shook her head in refusal which only caused her son to intensify his jostling. "Mama, mama, mama," he called, erupting into a fit of giggles. Galina groaned and rolled onto her back. Her hand reached up to brush her hair out of her face and she peered up at him.
"Someday, my boy, you're going to grow up to be a teenager and I promise I will never let you get an extra moment's rest in the morning," Galina informed him. Yuri just giggled and leaned over to kiss his mother's lips.
"It's not sleep time," he reminded her. "You have to make me breakfast."
"Beck-fest" a little voice called. Galina turned her head to see Maxim sitting up adorably in his bed, with his blankie clutched in his tiny fists.
"Oh, I have two boys awake," Galina murmured, opening her arm out to her youngest son with a smile. Maxim immediately scampered off of his own smaller bed and over to his mother's side.
"Good morning, Zoloto," Galina greeted him. With difficulty, she pushed herself up into a sitting position with her back against the headboard. Lifting Maxim, she settled him to her right as Yuri leaned his head against her shoulder from the other side.
"Mamochka, can I play outside?" Yuri asked, peering out the venetian blinds from which the tempting sunlight was already gleaming through.
"Well…" Galina hesitated. "I need to open up the store at ten so not for very long."
"You're too busy? You need to work?" asked Yuri sadly. Galina always felt crushed when her son asked her those questions, which he did almost daily. Clearly, they had been born out of her repeatedly telling him that she was busy or working. It wasn't a lie, she was very busy, and she did it while also minding her children, which meant that they both had rather remarkable abilities to play independently for long periods of time but also felt cheated of time with her. Galina wished that she could give her children more of her undivided attention but hoped it would at least benefit the boys to grow up seeing how hard their mother worked for them. She was doing her best.
"We'll go play for a little bit," Galina reassured him. "And then I promise we'll go outside again at lunch time." She always closed the shop for two hours at midday so that she could take the boys out for a little while. It wasn't fair to keep them cooped up inside all day while she worked, but they had grown up behind the counter of the family business and were used to it.
"Can I ride my bike?" Yuri asked eagerly.
"Yes," his mother replied, just as Maxim began ushering out a chorus of "bike, bike" excitedly. "We'll go for a ride around the block before we open," she promised him. "But we don't have a lot of time, so let's go hurry and eat breakfast."
She withdrew her arms from around her sons' shoulders and allowed them to scurry out of the room ahead of her. Sighing to herself, Galina gazed longingly at her pillow before standing up to follow. It was just then she felt the most precious of movements. Little flutters in her abdomen that brought her hands up around her stomach and a smile to her face.
"Hello, my little love," Galina whispered, rubbing her hand over the bump where her baby was. "Did you want to make sure that Mamochka didn't forget you were there? You must be wondering about those two crazy big brothers of yours. Not to worry...mama has lots of love for all three of you."
She chuckled happily to herself and with a hand still caressing her pregnant belly, Galina walked joyfully out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where her sons were opening the pantry and refrigerator while their father sat at the kitchen table with his head in his hands waiting to be fed.
"What are you making?" Dmitri asked, looking up at his wife's arrival.
"Kasha?" Galina suggested. Still dressed in her nightgown she walked over to the stove and set out her favourite pan. "Boys, sit at the table," she ordered, walking over to the fridge and giving Yuri a stern look as he poked his head out to grin at her. In his hands were a carton of strawberries they had picked up from the market on Sunday after they had closed for the day.
"Share with your brother," Galina told him, in response to the non-verbal question. Yuri went over to his usual chair and, like usual, Maxim copied his brother. He climbed onto his own chair at the table and held out a hand for a strawberry eagerly. While the rest of the family sat in wait, Galina poured the milk into her saucer and turned the stove on to bring it to a boil. Kasha was a typical breakfast for them. A Russian porridge that was quick to make and which Galina had grown up on. She bustled about her kitchen in more haste than was typical. She really wanted to get them out the door early enough to get in a full hour of playtime before the work day began.
"Careful, it's hot," Galina warned, as she set bowls down in front of Dmitri, Yuri, and Maxim. She handed each of them a spoon and then turned back to her fridge so that she could pour both of her sons a cup of juice.
"Will you get me some too?" Dmitri asked, before spooning up some of the Kasha into his mouth.
"You're capable of pouring yourself a glass," Galina replied saucily, but she nonetheless poured her husband a drink and then handed it to him respectfully.
While her family dug into the breakfast she had made them, Galina walked off into their bedroom which was just outside of the kitchen. She left the door open so she could hear what was going on still and stared helplessly at her small rack of clothing. Dressing in the morning had become a game of what still fit and considering her limited wardrobe, the answer was not very much. She wasn't even very far along in her pregnancy, but her abdomen had begun swelling before she had even gotten a positive pregnancy test. She was going to be huge this time. She supposed it was what happened when you had three babies close together.
"Have you been outside yet?" Galina called to her husband, as she slipped her nightgown up over her head. Her hands reached up to caress her breasts, which were sore and had gone up a full cup size already. None of her bras fit and her back was always aching. She'd picked up a second-hand bra a few weeks ago in a consignment shop when she had been shopping for shorts and t-shirts for the boys and had to wear it every single day.
"No," Dmitri called back, in answer to her question.
"Oh," Galina replied flatly. "I was just wondering about the weather today."
"Boiling hot," Dmitri replied dramatically. "I don't think living in hell would be any worse than what today is going to be like." Draining the last morsels from his bowl, Dmitri left his dishes where they were and went over to his wife in the bedroom. Galina had pulled on a lightweight cotton green sundress with cap sleeves. It was maternity and her mother had bought it for her as a gift before they'd left Russia, right after they'd found out that Galina was expecting Yuri. The fabric was thinning in some spots and the style was not typical of what one normally saw on the streets of New York, but it had been a favourite wear during all three of her pregnancies. It felt like Russia and she thought of her mother every time she slipped it on.
"I may as well be one of Satan's slaves shovelling coal in an inferno," Dmitri complained, as he sat down on the bed and stared at his wife. "Hauling crates in this heat all day...I'm not sure I can even do it."
"Well, be sure to drink plenty of water," Galina said distractedly, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling when her back was turned away from her husband. She picked up her tube of mascara and her Chapstick which was all she really bothered to apply on a typical day. Then she walked out of the room without giving Dmitri a backwards glance.
"How's it going?" Galina asked her boys as she passed them. Her eyes widened at the spill under Maxim's chair but she refrained from commenting. There was a reason why she always mopped the kitchen floor after meals.
Galina went into the bathroom and set her makeup on the counter before opening the cabinet to retrieve her toothbrush. She applied her toothpaste and had just stuck it in her mouth when Dmitri came around the corner and stood behind her.
"I'm leaving," Dmitri informed her, staring at her face's reflection in the mirror. Galina nodded her understanding, while continuing to brush her teeth. "Do you need any help before I go?" he asked.
Nodding, Galina pulled her toothbrush out of her mouth and leaned over to spit into the sink. When she straightened up, she brushed the back of her hand against her mouth. "You could dress the boys," she suggested.
Dmitri frowned. "Both of them?" he asked skeptically.
"Yes," Galina replied. "They both need to get dressed, and Maxim needs to be changed first." She turned on the faucet and stuck her toothbrush underneath the water flow.
"And what are you going to do?" Dmitri asked skeptically.
Galina raised her eyebrows. "I need to finish getting myself ready and then do something about the mess of the kitchen."
"Well, I'll just take care of the kitchen for you then," Dmitri said. "That will go faster. Alright?" At Galina's curt nod, he turned to sped out of the room. She tilted her head back to look out into the kitchen as Dmitri grabbed the bowls and cups from his sons and from his own seat and chucked them into the sink with a loud clang. Then, reaching for a wet rag he began to hastily wipe down the table top.
Staring at her reflection in the mirror, Galina grimaced as she returned her toothbrush to its holder and reached for her mascara. She didn't want to be ungrateful, but the way Dmitri cleaned her kitchen never ceased to annoy her. The counter surfaces would be wiped down dismissively and the floor would be swept, but she knew perfectly well that all the dishes would simply be piled in a heap in the sink. Dmitri wasn't helping her, he was actually creating more work in the step of needing to empty out the sink before she could begin the washing. And meanwhile, their two sons had clamoured down from their chairs and begun racing through the apartment with sticky hands held out in front of them. Galina would have preferred Dmitri not even bother with his half-hearted offer of help.
"I'll be late tonight," Dmitri said after a minute, tossing the rag into the sink atop the dirty dishes. Their sons' laughter was echoing in from the living room as Galina followed her husband over to the door with her arms folded.
"You told me," she reminded him, arching her back against the wall to relieve some of the pressure she was feeling.
"Oh," Dmitri said, pulling on a frayed pair of work boots. Galina's eyes glanced over them and her teeth clenched together. They were almost completely worn through and would soon need to be replaced. Another expense they couldn't exactly afford and Galina had been pinching pennies ever since she'd learned she was expecting again.
Dmitri finishing lacing up his boots and then took a couple steps over to her. He placed his hands on Galina's widened hips and looked down into her blue eyes. Her long red hair was still a bit frazzled looking as she hadn't yet had time to brush it. "Have a good day," he told her.
"Same to you," Galina replied, and she held her breath as her husband pressed his cool lips against hers. They were thin and quivery, while Galina's plump lips stayed firmly closed. Dmitri didn't seem to be troubled by anything amiss in his and his wife's goodbye, as he turned and disappeared out of the front door. Galina waited until he was gone to wipe his kiss off with her hand. She couldn't recall the last time she had enjoyed a kiss from him, but it hadn't been in years.
Dmitri had never given Galina butterflies and the prospect of forever with him had never particularly thrilled her, but to claim she didn't love her husband would be incorrect. It was complicated to explain, she did love him, but she also found almost everything about him to be infuriating, distasteful, and uninteresting. However, she'd made a choice to love him on the day that she'd accepted his proposal. Dmitri had been kind and decent during their courtship and though he'd never be the person of her dreams, she knew she could have done a lot worse.
Wearing her long sleeved white wedding dress with her face covered by her veil, Galina had walked down the aisle of her family's church almost five years ago with her eyes wide open. She'd known exactly what she was doing and nobody had made this decision for her. Galina had spoken her vows with the understanding that this wasn't the kind of marriage she had ever fantasized about growing up but she believed Dmitri was a good man and the promise of going to America had made it all feel worth it.
Five years ago, they had been conspirators and friends. Dmitri and Galina had been pioneers. The brave ones leaping into unchartered waters when all the former people of her old life had been afraid to change, afraid to question, and afraid to leave. Galina's parents had worried she was making a grave mistake and would be too far away for them to help her correct it. They'd warned her it was too risky to be turning your back on your whole life to sail off to a new country that might not be better than the home she was fleeing from, but Galina knew it would be a greater risk to stay. Whatever happened next, at least she would not be doomed to spend the rest of her life slaving away at her gruelling factory job that barely kept a roof over her head. She knew there had to be more out there, and though as a child, she might have dreamed about love and fantasized about passion, she had grown up and decided that there were much more important things that defined a life. Her feelings for Dmitri did not go much deeper than amicable companionship, but Galina was not prepared to spend her life searching for such things only to discover that they did not exist.
Things might have been okay if Dmitri didn't try and make more of their marriage than what it was. It had been a façade, Dmitri had said so himself when he'd proposed; but Galina should have known it was too good to hope that he would leave her to her own thing once the wedding vows had been said. Galina took care of him, as a good wife should; she kept a nice house, she gave him children, and she worked at least as hard as he did to financially support their family. It would never be enough for him, though. Dmitri had tried to make her fall in love with him once she was his wife, but he'd become more and more discouraged when his efforts went unreciprocated. Galina couldn't make herself be in love with him when it just wasn't there, and she knew Dmitri had never really forgiven her for that.
The tension between them had only intensified when their first son, Yuri, had been born, because it was upon his arrival that Dmitri got to see what Galina looked like when she loved somebody so completely. She had never looked at him, even remotely, the way she looked at their baby. It ashamed Dmitri to realize the jealousy the infant provoked in him, and Galina noticed it and never tried to hide her disgust. Feeling excluded and inferior, Dmitri never even bothered to try when their second, Maxim, was born, almost exactly two years later. Considering all this, Galina knew it would be a little difficult for anyone to comprehend why she had intentionally gotten pregnant a third time by this man. It wasn't that she expected her husband to be different. It was just that the hunger for another child to nurture had been stronger than her disdain for her marriage. Galina was meant to be a mother.
As if to confirm this, in the next instant her two bundles of energy had raced over to her by the door and wrapped themselves around each of her legs while they giggled badly. They didn't ask if Papa had already left because it was sadly the norm for him to just walk out of the house without saying goodbye to him.
"Come on, my two little Solnyshki," Galina smiled, as she reached her hands down to scratch the tops of their heads affectionately. "Let's get you dressed and then we can go outside to play."