DISCLAIMER: All characters and story world belong to SM. All lyrical references and quotes are property of their original artist. No copyright infringement intended.

A/N: BlahBlahBlah, and OCDMess – Thank you! BlahBlahBlah is my amazing Beta, and she helps me catch so much shit I'm too dumb to realize. And OCDMess is my wife, and sometimes pre-reads things for me. Thanks to Zeraphim for pre-reading this chapter, and helping with the storyline in the future a bit. =)

Last chapter I asked what song had been played to death for you. My answer: Nine Inch Nails - Closer. I love NIN, but I hate closer. sigh. Thanks a lot, radio.

This chapter's music:

Hana Pestle - Need
Seether - Broken (featuring Amy Lee)

All of the chapter specific music: http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com/user/BeautifullySacred

This chapter is dedicated to Emilie, Mayra, and James. My three constants.

Chapter 20
BPOV
Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006

My pen flew across the page as words left my mind and solidified in ebony on ivory. The fingers on my left hand twitched as the melody in my head begged to be played. The silence was finally broken as I quietly sang the somber words on the paper.

"I'm not quite sure how to breathe, without you here. I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to say goodbye, to all we were. Be with me, stay with me, just for now. Let the time decide when i won't need you." The words came to me as easily as breathing. My head swayed back and forth as the emotions of the song flowed through me.

I took a shaky breath, inhaling the fresh morning air as the wind ruffled through the trees. I closed my eyes and hummed the melody, letting the next chain of words come to me, and quickly wrote them down. As the pen scratched against the paper, I heard faint footsteps in the distance. I reached out with my mind and protected Garrett as he drew nearer.

I continued to write lyrics as I listened to him walking at a human's pace. Before long, the scent of clove floated toward me and my lips turned up. I finished with the song and closed the notebook, resting it on my knees as I leaned back against the tree. "Have they packed and left already?"

"They were leaving when I came to get you. Carlisle said to let you know that he and Esme will be joining the others for the remainder of the tour."

"That won't cause complications at the hospital, will it?"

"Honestly, I don't think he was concerned about that. They'd be willing to move for you at the drop of a hat, Little-Bit."

I sighed and nodded, looking at him for the first time. He took a drag from his clove cigarette and smiled. He offered me his hand out of chivalry, and I took it. He flicked his cigarette to the side and leaned down to kiss the top of my hand. I smiled back at him, pulling my notebook to my chest tightly. He released my hand and slid his arm around my waist as we began to walk back to the hotel.

It had been four days since our second show. We had another concert scheduled tomorrow night in Grand Prairie, Alberta and I was feeling slightly nervous. Lyrics had been flowing out of me so easily the last few days that I'd filled up an entire notebook and part of another. I suppose my confusion and mixed feelings had a lot to do with it, but I wasn't one to complain about a good thing.

While I was a vampire and enjoyed the exhilaration of running, I still preferred moving at a human pace. Garrett walked beside me, my shoulder tucked against him and my thumb resting in his belt loop. We walked in harmony for a few miles before the hotel came into view. We made our way up the stairs and into our room. I grabbed the packed bag from the bed, turned off the light and followed Garrett back into the hallway. We put the luggage in the back of the SUV and made our way out of town.

I hummed and wrote, occasionally turning on the radio to fill the silence as Garrett drove. The twenty hour drive went by rather quickly and by sunrise, we had arrived at the new hotel. The next show was scheduled at a venue nine blocks away, and we were conveniently located right next to a forested area. Maurice had done his homework.

We carried our bags inside, checked into the hotel room and made our way to the suite. Once inside, I set the luggage down by the closet, walked to the window and curled up on the chair. Garrett quickly unpacked and kissed the top of my head before leaving the room. I felt him go out of range a few minutes later and assumed he was headed to the venue to help the others, or going for a hunt.

I sat in front of the window for hours, watching the sky shift colors and the world continue without me dozens of feet below. I was lost somewhere in the confines of my mind, behind the place that holds my memories and where I register my emotions. I remained motionless in the chair, letting the day pass me by. As the clouds filtered the light of the sunset, new words drifted into my mind. My fingers began to tap a rhythm against the armrest as my eyes closed. I could see the notes on paper and feel the keys under my fingertips as the song came to life in my head.

"Because I'm broken when I'm open and I don't feel like I am strong enough. Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome and I don't feel right when you're gone away." The words came out in a whisper, and I hummed the continuing rhythm echoing inside me.

"You've been somewhere faraway," a voice said from across the room.

I opened my eyes and saw Jasper leaning against a glass, floor-to-ceiling window with a faint smile on his lips. I nodded once, watching him closely. His hands were clasped behind his back loosely, and one leg was bent, crossing the other in a casual stance.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked in a hushed voice.

"About six hours. The others came back from the venue and realized you hadn't moved since you got here. You had everyone worried for a while."

I frowned and thought about the time I had spent sitting here. I was so lost in thought I honestly wasn't surprised that I hadn't noticed them come in. "I'm sorry I worried everyone," I mumbled.

Jasper pushed away from the glass gently and strode to the sofa across from me. He sat down and leaned forward, looking me directly in the eyes. "Are you alright, Bella?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Your emotions… they're… well, I'd really rather hear it from you, if you don't mind."

I frowned again and looked back out the window. "I'm just thinking."

"About?"

I sighed and closed my eyes, the town and sky slowly going black. I felt for other minds nearby but didn't sense any I recognized. "Edward."

"You can talk to me, you know. I may be Edward's brother, but I think of you as a sister. I've had years of experience keeping him out of my mind. Your thoughts will be safe with me."

I nodded and opened my eyes. "I'm just mixed with emotions: desires, fears. I've never done this, you know? Fallen in love… had my heart broken… died… found love again. I don't know how soon is too soon, and how long is too long."

"Where do you go when you're lost in thought like this? Your emotions are so faint, and you have this sense of serenity radiating around you."

"I retreat into my mind. I don't know how else to explain it."

"Try for me, please?" He scooted forward on the couch, barely sitting on the edge. He reached toward me, letting his hand hover in the air.

I reached out slowly and took his hand, letting the feeling of calm envelop me. "When Victoria bit me, I slipped into unconsciousness for a short time but woke up before Garrett got there. When I awoke, everything was like a dream; blurry around the edges and muffled. I could hear myself thinking. Not like normal, but like an overtone of myself thinking out loud in my own head. It was the strangest feeling. I quickly realized that when I focused on my thoughts, the burning wasn't as intense. I was able to hear Garrett as he spoke to me during the entire drive to Alaska. Well, until the pain got really bad, anyway. Once the venom started to burn my different organs, I really had to focus to keep the pain away." I dropped Jasper's hand and looked back out the window.

"When the venom reached my brain, it was like I was locked out of my own head. Every single memory, thought, and sensation flashed through me. I was forced to watch and feel my entire life as my mind was rebuilt. When the last of my blood burned away from my brain and the change moved to my heart, I was able to retreat to my mind again but couldn't block out the pain. The ache in my chest was worse than anything I had ever felt, and I heard the last few beats of my heart." I turned and looked into his golden eyes.

"Bella… that must have been excruciating. I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry."

"The rhythm to our opening song, Running up That Hill, is my heart beat just before I died. I wrote that song that day; after I nearly killed Garrett for not destroying me when I was first bitten."

Jasper pushed feelings of admiration and calm towards me. "So you can retreat deeper into your mind, losing yourself in thought and blocking everyone out? That's incredible."

"Nearly everyone. You said you still get subtle impressions of my feelings."

"I do… but they haven't made sense for the last few hours. You went back and forth between regret and longing. Occasionally you would go through a few minutes muddled emotions I couldn't decipher." Jasper leaned back against the couch, scooting over slightly to one side and patting the seat next to him.

I smiled and got up to join him. I sat with my feet underneath me and leaned against the armrest. "I was thinking about what to do, like I said earlier."

"About Edward," he clarified.

I nodded and looked down at my hands.

"Well, what does your heart tell you?" he asked.

"That I love him with every part of my being. It hurts to be away from him or see him in pain." I tugged at my lip ring and avoided Jasper's gaze.

"And your head?"

"To take it slow. He might hurt me again."

"Edward may be stubborn and a bit ignorant, but he isn't stupid. I think the only reason he has left your side since he found you again is because you wouldn't want him around twenty-four seven. He is consumed with guilt, regret and self-loathing; it nearly overpowers his love for you… but it doesn't. He's not going anywhere, Bella. The sooner you come to trust that, the sooner the two of you can move on."

"I know. I'm trying." I closed my eyes and thought about how this entire chain of events happened. I had been at the record store, broken-hearted and filled with sorrow. Then Garrett came into my life and helped distract me from that pain, but it was always there… in the back of my mind. When Victoria came back and I awoke as a vampire, I was filled with anger at Garrett for letting me complete the change. What would I had done if I had hurt him? Where would we be now if I hadn't let him talk me into playing our music? I felt Jasper's hand touch my knee and I opened my eyes quickly, confused.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'll leave." Jasper turned to get up but I held my hand out, tugging on his fingers.

"I'm sorry, stay. I'm not upset with you. I was just remembering when I was changed and everything that happened the week before and after. I didn't mean for you to get the wrong impression about my emotions. It didn't occur to me that you would think I was mad at you."

"Why were you angry when you awoke?"

"I never wanted this life if I couldn't have Edward by my side. I actually made Garrett swear he would kill me if anything ever happened to me. He broke that promise, and I was extremely emotional after the change."

"I can understand that. Newborns usually are. They often shift through fear, confidence, anger and excitement within seconds. Your change in emotions would be expected by anyone who had been around newborns before."

"Jasper… will you tell me what others go through when they change?" I asked after a moment of silence.

Jasper was quiet for a few minutes. "Do you remember what it was like at the Ballet Studio?"

"Yes, but James barely bit me then."

"Describe it for me."

"Alright… it felt like fire and ice running through my veins, waging a war. Like, if I closed my eyes for a few seconds I would lose all sense of who I was. I heard everyone speaking, but I couldn't tell who they were. I… I actually thought that Edward and Carlisle were angels. Just before I slipped into unconsciousness, I remember feeling my entire body tense at the sensation of pins and needles. Then everything went black."

"That blackness… it's all consuming. That fire and ice sensation continues for the duration of the change as it flows into different organs and takes control of your body. The human mind can't fathom something so extreme, so it's left to just process the pain. It's like a sensory overload. Time passes rather quickly because the pain blurs together. The person usually screams once the venom attacks the central nervous system, and continues until the first stage is complete. When the venom attacks the mind, the person is usually silent because they slip into a deep state of unconsciousness, balancing between life and death. At this point, the body begins to regenerate its strength before the venom goes for the heart. For the last twelve hours, the person is usually in a sleep-like state and completely unaware. When they wake, they're a vampire."

"Why do you think my change was so different?" I asked, staring into Jasper's eyes.

"I think it has to do with how your mind works. You're always so reserved, contemplative. Edward could never read your mind as a human – that's just proof that it has something to do with your mind. Then your talent on top of it all," Jasper said as he leaned in closer, taking my hand in his.

"So I really am broken," I mumbled, looking away with a sigh.

"You aren't broken, Bella. You're anything but, actually. You have an amazing mind. A vampire's talent manifests itself within the first hour of their change. If you slipped into unconsciousness and then woke up from it completely coherent, that was your talent taking over. For the duration of your change, you shielded yourself out of instinct. I think your shield has more possibilities than anyone realizes right now." Jasper squeezed my hand gently before standing and walking to the window.

I turned my torso so I could watch him. I shifted my feet from under me, and laid on my stomach, propping my arms up on the armrest. "What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Could you shield any of the people walking down there if you wanted to?" he asked calmly.

"Yes. Why do you ask?" I stood from the couch and joined him in front of the window. I didn't like shielding strangers; the presence of them in my mind didn't feel safe or comfortable.

"What do you physically do when you shield someone?"

"I feel for their mind and focus on protecting them, basically."

"No, I need more of an explanation than that."

"Wha—"

"For example, when I influence someone's emotions, I can project it specifically at them if I focus, but it's easier to just feel the emotion and let it overtake me as I push it out. It will affect anyone around me. If I'm taking in strong emotions, like sorrow or lust, it's hard to not project it out. The more intense the emotion, the harder it is to contain it. I can draw a person's feelings from them and replace it with something else, if I wish. That served particularly useful with newborns. But when I project onto a specific person, I have to reach out for the nuance, or as Garrett calls it, their core. I focus on that part of them and visualize a wave of energy flowing from me to them."

"I understand. It's similar for me. I can sense a person's mind, or core, and recognize the feeling of it. I can tell Garrett is around without hearing or smelling him at all. He puts off a specific energy that my mind recognizes. It's practically instinct to shield him now. I reach out for the familiarity and envision a barrier encasing their mind. I focus on protecting them, and then I adjust the strength of the barrier. I can always sense that energy in the back of my mind, and regulate how strong it is; the stronger the presence in my mind, the stronger the shield. It's like they are tied to me for protection."

Jasper nodded as he looked out the window at the city. "And what about your own shield? How does that work? You said the other night that you have two." He turned, leaning his shoulder against the glass, and watched me closely.

I nodded subtly and bit my lower lip. "It's similar, but different. When I was changing, I hid behind my shield to protect me from the physical pain. When I focus on physical pain, it weakens my shield; the weaker my protection, the stronger the pain. I've found that certain memories and emotions cause me this kind of pain…"

"Such as thinking of Edward, or when you were alone," Jasper finished for me.

I nodded and sighed, looking down at my feet. "Sometimes I can focus on my thoughts, pushing my emotions away until I'm numb. That's when I enter a trance-like state and stare off into space."

"Like this afternoon," he said. I nodded once again and looked back out the window. Jasper followed my gaze as he leaned against the glass. "What about focusing your thoughts on someone else? Not like when you shield them instinctively, but with your own shield. Would you be willing to try that with me?"

"What do you think will happen? I only know how to shift its strength, not its location." I turned and looked at him curiously. While that was the truth, it wasn't the whole truth. I didn't think admitting the fact that I had already done this once with Edward was the wisest thing to say. That moment on stage when Edward was finishing their set, I had brought Edward into my own shield and heard his thoughts. I didn't know if that meant I had tapped into his mind and used his power as well, or if that meant that having him in my head granted me access to his.

"I think you may be able to tap into their mind somehow or maybe the other way around. Of course, it would be best if tested with another mental ability, but we could practice until you feel comfortable letting Edward in."

I stared down at the people in the town, watching them cross the streets and enter stores. I would tell Jasper what had happened eventually, confirming his theories, but not now. I debated if I was ready to let anyone in or not, and what it could mean if I did. If Edward learned I had let his brother in but not him, how would he react? It was bad enough that he was jealous of Garrett, and I didn't want to divide his family just because I wasn't ready to let Edward in.

"You don't have to answer right now. I can sense your changing emotions. The others should be returning soon anyway, so we wouldn't be trying right away. Think about it and let me know when you make a decision, no matter the outcome." Jasper smiled at me and looked back down at the town.

In the distance I could see Alice and Edward walking along the sidewalk. I glanced at Jasper, concerned. "Should I shield you… with my secondary, I mean? I – I don't think I'm ready for Edward to know any of this."

"You can if you want. It might make him curious. I have experience with keeping him out. I think the only two people better at it than me are Alice and Carlisle. Never tell a secret to Emmett though unless you plan on shielding him for eternity," Jasper said with a grin.

I laughed for the first time in days and nodded. "Thanks for the advice." I reached out for Jasper's mind, pulling it into a protective shield and strengthening the connection in my mind. Jasper smiled and bowed his head, recognizing the sensation. "We can just say that I'm practicing shielding more than just Garrett constantly to see how long I can hold it."

"And the reason why you're shielding me in particular?"

"Because… it will allow you to keep an eye on my emotions when I lose focus of things around me."

"Sounds good enough for me." Jasper looked out the window, his eyes following his mate and his brother as they approached the hotel.

Edward looked up at the two of us and our eyes connected. I smiled faintly, watching as Alice chatted away to her brother. Edward smiled brightly and began walking faster. I chuckled softly, turned away from the window and walked toward to the bed. I leaned on the edge and watched Jasper at the window as his grin grew wider.

"Alice is excited about something, and Edward just shifted from annoyed to hopeful. Amazing what a smile can do, isn't it?" he said as he turned to glance at me.

I nodded and looked down at my feet. I felt Garrett's presence and immediately shielded him. "Where did everyone go?"

"Alice, Edward, Emmett, and Rose all went to the venue to check it out. Esme and Carlisle went hunting over an hour ago and should be back before midnight. I think Garrett went hunting as well, but I'm not certain. He didn't say anything to any of us."

"Hmm. And earlier? They couldn't have been at the venue for over six hours."

"No, earlier they went hunting and called Maurice when they first got here. Maurice wanted to know how the 'other band' was doing, since he hadn't heard from you or Garrett." Jasper glanced back out the window and smiled.

I could sense Alice and Edward close by, but I smelled Garrett. I turned to look at the door and waited. After nearly a minute, Garrett slipped in the door and paused. "What?" he asked.

"Where have you been all afternoon?" I asked playfully.

"I had to get you a new outfit, didn't I? I also figured you could use some more notebooks and pens, the way you've been writing lately." Garrett walked toward me, setting his shopping bags down on the bed, and smiled innocently.

I glanced at Jasper and arched an eyebrow. "I think we know why Alice is so excited; she probably saw that she has a new shopping partner."

Jasper chuckled and nodded. He walked toward Garrett and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Good luck. You'll need it."

The door opened again and Alice came bounding in with Edward behind her. "Hey! I resent that!" She stood up on her tip-toes to give Jasper a kiss and beamed. Edward rolled his eyes and nodded a hello to Garrett before looking at me and smiling.

"Hello," I said quietly.

"Hi," Edward replied.

Garrett, Alice and Jasper all exchanged looks before leaving the room quietly. I laughed at their attempt to be subtle and patted the edge of the bed. Edward looked at the spot then back up at me, uncertain.

"Are you sure you want to be around me?" he asked quietly.

"I wouldn't have asked you to stay if I wasn't."

Edward slowly took a seat on the edge of the bed beside me. There was at least a foot of space between us, but I could feel the electricity in the air sending a shiver down my spine.

"I can't hear Jasper's thoughts. Should I be concerned?" Edward asked.

"No. I decided I should try shielding more than just Garrett, build up a tolerance or something like that. He said it was hard for him to sense my emotions when I was zoned out earlier. Maybe this will make it easier for him so I don't cause everyone to worry," I explained, hoping he bought it.

Edward nodded slowly, looking down at his hands in his lap. "I understand, I guess."

"Not knowing what everyone is thinking bothers you, doesn't it?"

"Am I that transparent?" he asked, glancing in my direction.

I nodded once and smiled. He shrugged, looking back down. "I'm used to my family blocking me when they don't want me knowing something, but to be completely locked out of their minds is a little unsettling."

"Are you mad?" I asked.

"No. I understand, and it makes sense. We were all worried about you." Edward slowly looked at me, his concern evident in his eyes.

I reached out, slowly slipping my fingers between his and squeezing gently. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

Edward stared at our joined hands for a long moment before nodding. He squeezed back gently and smiled. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For this," he said, squeezing again. "And for letting someone in, even if it isn't me." He closed his eyes and rubbed his thumb over my knuckle as he held my hand. "May I ask you something?"

I nodded but realized he couldn't see me. "Yes," I answered.

"What happened earlier?"

I sighed, closing my eyes and tugging on my lip ring. I knew he would ask, but I still didn't know how to answer. After a long stretch of silence, Edward spoke again, "You don't have to tell me. I'm sorry for prying."

"No, it's not that. I just don't know what to say, really. I was basically lost in thought. I kind of lost touch with everything around me. I'm sorry it worried everyone. I'll try not to let it happen again. That's partially why I'm shielding Jasper, so he can possibly sense it happening next time."

"If you don't mind my asking… what were you thinking about?"

I swallowed and opened my eyes, turning to look at him. His amber eyes were glowing and his eyebrows were furrowed with concern.

"You," I whispered. I watched his face fall with sorrow as he looked down at our hands.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I know you hate hearing that, but I feel helpless not saying it whenever I can." He shook his head and sighed heavily.

"Hey," I whispered, placing a finger under his chin and lifting his face to look at me. "I didn't say I was thinking bad things," I said with a smile.

He stared at me, his lips slowly turning up.

"I've been thinking of how we have a second chance to make this work, and this time we're on an even playing field."

"What do you mean?"

"I always felt inadequate in our relationship when I was human. You had to protect me and make the sacrifices. I felt I couldn't compete with your world… but now we're the same. You don't have to protect me; we can just focus on our lives… together."

"Bella, I'm always going to want to protect you. That will never change. I can't lose you again."

"You can't walk around trying to keep me out of trouble, either. I'm not the clumsy, brown-eyed girl you remember. I've changed."

Edward sighed and tugged his hair with his free hand, resting his forehead against his palm. "I know that. I'm trying. I'm sorry. It's going to take some getting used to. Vampires aren't used to change."

I took a deep breath, focusing on my emotions and trying not to get angry with him. He was always overbearing and protective of me; it would take him awhile to get used to the fact that I could probably protect him more than he could me. I had been struggling all day with how quickly I wanted things to progress between Edward and me. I missed him, a lot, but I also didn't want to fall back into the way things were. I knew the worst was over, and that we could take things slowly… but a small part of me didn't want to. The teenage part of me wanted to hold him close, kiss away his pain, and never let him go.

"What are you thinking?" he asked softly, stroking the back of my hand again.

"The lyrics I wrote earlier, I suppose… amongst other things." I focused on his skin touching mine and the electric current humming through my body. We were both the same shade of alabaster now, and his touch felt warm instead of cold. I marveled at the sensation for a few moments before Edward spoke again.

"Do you think you would be willing to share them with me?" he asked quietly. He sounded shy and reserved. I glanced up at him. He looked nervous and uncertain.

"If you think you really want to," I mumbled.

"I would. Your lyrics are beautiful… painful, but beautiful. They give me insight into your thoughts and feelings, and I feel like I understand a little bit more after hearing them."

I let go of his hand and stood to retrieve my notebook. I flipped through the pages until I found the recent lyrics and realized I hadn't written down the words from earlier. I took the pen out of the metal spiral casing and scribbled the newest words on the next page. I crawled back onto the bed, crossing my legs under me and sitting beside Edward. He turned to face me, putting one leg underneath him and smiling at me. I handed him the notebook and bit my lip nervously. I watched eagerly as his eyes examined the pages quickly.

"Do you have a rhythm in mind for any of these?" he asked with his eyes still on the page.

"Yeah… most of them anyway. The last two specifically. I wrote those today and yesterday. The newest one is just the chorus though. I haven't figured out the verses yet."

"May I… hear it?" His voice was soft and smooth, but I could see the hesitation on his face.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Can I share myself this openly with him? I thought about it for a while, running through the different ways to back out of this situation, but eventually I realized that I had to take a step sooner or later. I held my breath as I searched for the song in the back of my mind.

I began hum the opening quietly and envisioned the flow of the verse that had yet to come to me. I swayed on the bed slightly and opened my eyes as I sang the chorus. "Because I'm broken when I'm open and I don't feel like I am strong enough. Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome and I don't feel right when you're gone away." I belted out the words, my eyes fixed on Edward's, and felt the weight on my heart lift.

Edward smiled as the last word left my lips. I stopped humming and stared at him curiously. "What?"

"Everyone's going crazy. They want to know what's going on," he said with amusement.

"What are they thinking?" I asked with a grin, quietly chuckling.

"Alice is frustrated that she can't get a vision very clearly since your shield keeps her from seeing anything involved with you at the time. Emmett is excited he gets to hear you singing again; he truly enjoyed your show the other night… we all did. Rose is… well, Rose; that's a story for another day. Esme and Carlisle are concerned, but excited that we're talking instead of shouting."

"Have they been able to hear us this whole time?" I asked, slightly embarrassed.

"No, you sang much louder than we've been talking. They're all curious, now. Oh, and Alice is irritated you're shielding Jasper. She can't see his future clearly."

I laughed loudly and grinned. My talent would definitely make surprising her easier. I went back to humming the song and smiled at the ideas running through my head, knowing she would never see them. I closed my eyes and the tickling feeling of words pushed at the back of my mind. I looped my humming back to the beginning and tapped out a gentle rhythm on my thighs. I could feel Edward's gaze on me but kept my eyes closed and focused on the emotions of the song.

"I wanted you to know, that I love the way you laugh. I want to hold you high, and steal your pain away…" Edward's smooth voice flowed from his lips perfectly and my breath caught. He was beating out a similar rhythm on his legs as he sang his own lyrics to my melody. He sang another line of the verse and I trembled at their meaning. I opened my eyes and stared into his passionately. He's singing to me.

"Because I'm broken, when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away." His voice was like silk, smooth and easy, and he sang with a passion and intensity that made my whole body feel weak. My hands stumbled over the rhythm and I swallowed, taking a deep breath as I let the words in the back of my mind flow out of me uncensored.

"The worst is over now, and we can breathe again. I want to hold you high; you steal my pain away. There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight. I want to hold you high and steal your pain." I stared deep into his eyes as they shifted from solid amber into liquid ebony. My voice carried and I could hear gasps from a few rooms over. I smiled as I watched him exhale with relief. I reached for his hands, stopping both of our rhythms, and squeezed tightly.

"Because I'm broken when I'm open, and I don't feel like I am strong enough. Because I'm broken, when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away," we sang in unison, our voices melding together in harmony; his low and powerful, mine high and uplifting.

He leaned forward and wrapped an arm around my shoulder to comfort me. The simple touch was all I needed to throw away any hesitations I had about being so near to him. I threw myself into his arms and sobbed quietly. His other arm wrapped around me and he was squeezing me tightly to his chest. "Shh… Bella. I'm here. Please, don't cry. I hate seeing you in pain," he whispered into my ear. His nose brushed against my earlobe and a shiver ran down my spine. I tugged on my lower lip to I stifle my whimpers.

"I'm not hurting, Edward… I'm anything but." I hugged him tighter, as if I could crawl inside of him. I fidgeted slightly as I pulled my legs closer. He moved his knees lower, allowing me to crawl into his lap. I wrapped my legs around his waist and sighed heavily, pressing my cheek to his. "I've missed you…"

The feeling of his breath against my neck was amazing and intense. I stifled another whimper as I felt him smile against my jaw. He nuzzled my chin and sighed softly. "I feel complete with you in my arms. I've missed you so much," he whispered. He stroked my back gently, running a hand along my spine while the other gripped my waist.

I slid one hand up to the back of his neck, letting my fingers tangle into his hair as I breathed in his scent. I closed my eyes and a moan escaped my lips. His skin was warm, soft, perfect, and his chest vibrated gently with his own moan of pleasure. I dug my fingers into his shoulder blade gently with my other hand, pressing myself against him.

"God, Bella…" he whimpered.

I smiled inwardly at his reaction and buried my face into his neck. He kissed my temple, letting his lips linger against my hair as he took in a deep breath. I giggled quietly at the giddy emotions that reminded me that I was still a teenage girl in love for the first time.

I felt his lips spread into a smile. "What?" he whispered against my temple.

"Nothing," I said amusedly.

He pulled back slightly, looking into my eyes and I groaned at the distance he had put between us.

"No, what? You never giggle."

"It's just still so surreal to me. Garrett and I get this gig less than thirty-six hours before we're scheduled to go on stage. He pushes me to do it, and I agree reluctantly. I find out after the show that the headlining band is my Vampire ex-boyfriend and his brother and sister. And then five days later, I'm in his arms again. It just feels like it's all a dream… or it's moving too fast for me to really put it all into perspective." I leaned forward and buried my face in his chest. He sat motionless with me pressed against him and I grew concerned I said something wrong.

"I can… not be so close if you'd prefer," he said very calmly, but somberly.

I looked up, studying his expression. "What do you mean?"

"You said that this was all moving too fast. I didn't mean to press you into something you aren't comfortable with. I'm sorry if I've been too forward." He swallowed and looked away.

"I threw myself in your arms, Edward, not the other way around. I do think we need to take this all slowly, and I'm sorry if I'm sending mixed signals right now, but I didn't mean it like that. I was referring to the whole chain of events this last week. I…" I paused, thinking before I spoke for once. I leaned forward, pressing my forehead against his, and waited for him to look at me. When our eyes connected I smiled slightly. "I want this, Edward. You just have to be patient with me."

He lifted his hand to my jaw, running a finger across my skin gently, and nodded. "I'll give you all the time you need. I'll never leave you again. I promise." He closed his eyes slowly and leaned in, pressing his lips to mine gently. Our skin touched and I parted my lips, allowing him further access. His tongue pressed against mine and he tasted sweet… delicious. I moaned quietly as I kissed him, wanting nothing more than to let him know how much I wanted him. I was afraid of him disappearing again, and a part of me wanted to cling to him, getting as much of him as I could before he left. My mind and heart battled as I lost all sense of myself, pressed against Edward Cullen and reveling in the taste of his lips.

A/N: OMG I'm ALIVE! I'm surprised you guys haven't killed me yet for dissapearing for so long. Alright, so I passed my finals. YAY! I have five classes left to take before I graduate with my Bachelors, and I have 3 weeks off. I plan on doing nothing but reading, writing, and sleeping! If you want teasers for the upcoming chapter, or just to see how the process is going, follow me on twitter at - Ailisraevyn

I also ramble a lot, a bullshit with OCDMess. We've been told we're highly amusing.

I love hearing from you guys, so feel free to leave me your thoughts, comments, questions, etc in a review or PM. I respond to everyone. Promise!

The next chapter may take over a week, as I have to get crackin at it, I have no chapters 'left in the bag' so to speak. I promise I won't disappear this long though!

All of the chapter specific music: http:/www (dot) youtube (dot) com/user/BeautifullySacred

Song question for the chapter: What song or band helped you to come to terms, or see something/someone in a new light? Really put everything into a different perspective for you?