Paula, Donna, and Harvey - Take Two
Chapter 3 - Hear Ye, Hear Ye
Harvey began his trip to Paula's having done his and Donna's new ritual before court. It was more fun than the can opener/thumb tack routine they used to do. This ritual involved a dice and a few new shows of affection. If either one of them rolled "snake eyes" and Harvey won they had to celebrate by having sex somewhere in the office. If Harvey lost than Donna won a theater show or a nice dinner or a new handbag. Lately Harvey had had a rash of wins but no snake eyes in the ritual, so the payoff celebration was an early afternoon out or just a moment of conversation between themselves with no firm business between them. In either way, they made sure they celebrated in one way or another.
This day was not going well anyhow as Harvey had one of his rare losses in court. The client was upset, but Harvey was already working on an appeal or a countersuit. Unfortunately, this meant his meeting with Paula would be a little earlier than expected. After the uncomfortable dinner party a few weeks ago which was icing on the cake after Paula's attempted suicide, Harvey could not imagine what Paula had to tell him since Louis was her lawyer.
He knocked on her house door.
"Harvey," said Paula when she opened the door and saw him standing on her doorstep. "It's so good to see you. You're a tad early. That's wonderful."
Paula's eyes watched him as he entered the room. He always looked so handsome in a three piece suit. The dark ones especially. He was also especially hot without his suit as Paula's memories of their late mornings or early evenings flooded her brain.
Harvey walked into Paula's house and they went into the living room. He also noticed how pretty she looked and how seemingly cheerful she was. Considering how she behaved only a few weeks ago when Donna saved Paula from committing suicide by acting swiftly, Paula seemed to have recovered that British reserve. She actually had color in her usual pale complexion. He hoped it was nothing serious for which she wanted to see him. Harvey was a bit wary as Donna was not with him. Harvey had told Donna beforehand where he was going after court. He did not want Donna to unnecessarily wait for him to come home to his place.
"Be careful, Harvey," Donna had said to him before he left the office after their ritual.
"Why do you say that? She's harmless."
Donna had sniffed then and threw her head up. "About as harmless as a poison snake."
Harvey thought Donna was being overly cruel, so he told her that she thought she was being unkind toward her. Harvey thought it might be from latent insecurity concerning their own relationship.
"Harvey, I'm a woman..." Donna said.
"I know..." Harvey said coming over to take Donna in his arms.
"Haarveeee," Donna trailed in a soft voice kissing him. "I just meant that women know women especially those who are now in a love affair with their former lover."
Harvey had then stepped back in their embrace and looked into Donna's eyes.
"You're serious."
"As a heart attack."
"Ok. I trust you, so I will be careful." Harvey then kissed her and said he would see her at his place later.
"Harvey, I love you. Please remember that," Donna said as he turned to go out the door.
"As if I could ever forget," Harvey said sweetly instead of sarcastically. He gave her his famous smile and a wink as he had turned and walked out her office door.
"Would you like a drink or coffee?" Paula asked politely.
"No thank you. I still have a load of work at the office, so if you could just tell me what I can do for you I would appreciate it," Harvey said hoping he did not sound too belligerent. He realized he had hurt her enough by not choosing her over Donna so driving Paula to a second suicide attempt was not his intention in answering her call.
"Oh, well then," Paula said taking a seat across from him in her usual "therapist" chair. Harvey sat on her couch much like he used to sit when he was a "patient". In the corner with his arms spread one on the arm of the sofa and the other thrown on top.
"The reason I wanted to see you, Harvey, as nothing to do with the suit I have against Eddie. He's been harrassing my patients and slurring my name claiming I can't help myself let alone help anyone else."
"Well, as I said, I can't help you with that. Louis is great. He'll make sure Eddie gets what is coming to him with the slander/libel suit. Now what is it that you wanted to tell me."
"I'm pregnant," Paula blurted.
"What?" Harvey said quietly knowing he heard her but thinking he had not heard her correctly.
"I'm pregnant and I know its yours," Paula repeated and emphasized. She had come to sit beside him and placed her hand in the one that had come from off the back of the couch to sitting on his thigh.
He turned to see Paula smiling from ear to ear. She stopped when she saw his reaction. His brown eyes huge and his mouth open in a silent "O".
"Oh, I can see I've shocked you. Well, it was bound to happen," Paula said smiling again.
"No it wasn't bound to happen, Paula. I thought you were on the pill. You said we didn't need anything else as protection because you were on the pill," Harvey said reeling from the shock. Donna warned me. She knew something was afoot.
"Well, I know it's a shock, for me, too, but I wanted to let you know. I'm hoping we can share this experience together."
Harvey stood up. "What the hell does that mean? I've already told you. I am with Donna. Last night I asked her to marry me and we are getting married, Paula. I will be a part of this child's life because it is mine. I want you to understand two things first."
He could see he had hurt her again. Her smile faded and her tears began to trickle from from light blue eyes. She was wearing a white blouse with three-quarter sleeves so the self-inflicted wound scars were prevalent dark pink and rising from her pale white skin. Harvey felt uncomfortable but he was especially uncomfortable seeing those scars left from the first time he had hurt Paula.
"What are those two things, Harvey?" Paula looked up innocently enough.
"I am in love with Donna and I want to marry her. I don't want to hurt her again, so if you think this baby will trap me into changing my plans you are sadly mistaken. The other thing and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I have to be sure."
"What's that?"
"I want a paternity test as soon as it is safe for the you and the baby."
At that remark, Paula jumped up and fired back, "I didn't get pregnant on purpose. It happened. I'm surprised it didn't happen before with one of your other women! I'm not a teenager, Harvey! I am perfectly capable of supporting our child on my own. I just thought I owed you the knowledge that you will have a son or daughter in the world in a few months!"
"How far along are you? Harvey asked curious. How could an embryo survive with the severe blood loss she suffered when she slit her wrists?"
"You don't believe me. What is it? You don't believe I'm pregnant or you don't believe it's yours? For your information, I'm about eight weeks along. So the timing is perfect right before Donna kissed you and you decided you couldn't live without her."
Harvey stood there still in disbelief. He was concerned because this was more than likely his child because Paula was not with another man for a long time and especially when they were together. Harvey had abhorred what Donna had done in kissing him when he was still with Paula; however, if Donna had not acted "selfishly" he would be marrying a woman whom he did not love but with whom he was expecting a child.
"What was the second condition, Harvey?," Paula asked standing there with her arms crossed and tears coming down her face. Every so often, Paula would swipe at her eyes to dry those ghastly female items from her face. I thought it would go so differently for some strange reason. I knew all along that Harvey did not love me. I was a transferred substitute for the real love of his life-Donna. Well, we did have a fun time together and we did enjoy each other's company in and out of bed, but once his real love, Donna, had decided to act desperately to maintain that hold she has on him. I realized I wasn't going to win the fight for Harvey's heart.
"How and when did you discover you were having a baby?" Harvey asked still standing there in front of her mantel. He was not far from the door and soon he was feeling that old panic attack suffocation starting to happen. Ironically this was where he had run when they started the first time after Donna left him.
"I thought I would never see you again until, miraculously, a couple of weeks after I was released from the hospital, my gynecologist called me and gave me this wonderful news."
"I am guessing that they took a pregnancy test because of the legalities when you attempted your suicide as suicide is not technically against the law. I know there is still red tape."
"Yes, Harvey, I am familiar with suidice and attempted suicide. Did you forget that mental health is my specialty."
"I guess I did. I am sorry," Harvey said with a sniff. "I just want you to know that I will support and love this child to the best of my heart but it doesn't mean that I am going to stop my plans by marrying you and not marrying Donna. As you said you don't need my financial support but this baby will need a father and I will gladly take on that role. So, in saying that, I do not want any overtures to me or connotating that we will be together. We will have this child and I will be a good father, but we will not be "together". I do not want your mind to conclude that that will happen because it won't. I will lend you support as a friend and the baby's father but nothing farther. Between ourselves we know this was not supposed to happen, but I never want our child to think that it was a mistake.
"How are you planning to support me and jointly raise this child now that you're with Donna? She's not going to want to share you with anybody."
"Donna has always put me first much to the neglect of her own wants and dreams. We would have been together many years ago if I had not been so emotionaly inept. I am not breaking her heart again. Donna will accept this child because its mine. You don't know Donna as well you think."
"No, Harvey, I do know. She saved my life, both our lives, the baby and mine despite knowing that she had encouraged your anger at her actions. I'm not ignorant of her decency and kindness, but this is different. This child will be a constant reminder of what she could not give you. We shall be connected forever with the existence of this child, Harvey."
"Just because Donna never got pregnant doesn't mean she can't bear a child. She's always been on the pill. She's never been promiscuous but she's had other serious relationships. Children just never seem to come up in any conversation."
"I realize that. I never thought I would have a child either especially after what happened with Eddie. However, I will abide by what you say and maintain only a friend's view of you. Just the knowledge that our child will have its father is good to know."
"You know about my abandonment issues, Paula. Do you honestly think that I would abandon my own child?" Harvey placated. He did want to assure Paula that he would emotionally support her or financially support her while she was pregnant and the child afterward. How am I going to tell, Donna?
"Are you going to tell Donna about us?" Paula sniffed.
"Paula there is no us. There is our child and that is what I am going to tell Donna. She needs to know."
"I hate to say this, Harvey, but I think she may not want to marry you after learning this."
"You let me worry about that."
Still in shock but not wanting to hurt Paula, he said in a softer tone.
" Now are you feeling ok? Is there anything you need? Could not your sister stay with you?"
Paula smiled at Harvey's concern. He was truly a good man and no one better could she have picked for having his child.
"Harvey, thank you for the concern, but I am perfectly fine. Luckily I have had no morning sickness, so I can continue to work. When I need a companion, yes, my sister has agreed to come over from England. My brother, also, if needed."
Harvey smiled in relief. "In the meantime, if you do need something, please call me."
"Of course. Now you'd better go or Donna may wonder where you are," Paula remarked generously. She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.
"Thank you, Harvey."
When Harvey returned to the office, most of the support staff was filling the elevators to begin their journey home. He walked onto the 50th floor and started toward his office. He walked slowly and then swiftly. He walked like he was in a daze. He could hardly believe it. He had never been that careless with anyone except Donna. Speaking of the his financee, he first had to pass by her office on the way to his. What am I going to do? How do I tell her that the woman with whom she fought and then saved her life is expecting her fiancee's child? Why did this have to happen? He passed her office and noticed she had her back turned toward the window on the phone again. From the sound of things she was conducting another phone screen for a secretary probably for Katrina as she had just been made a senior partner. He walked swiftly by.
He had made it to his office. He tried to sit for a minute and then felt restless so he put his hands in his pockets and rose. He stood in front of the window behind his desk with his hands remaining in his pockets and just stared out of the window.
"Hey."
Harvey jumped a mile as he heard Donna's voice behind him.
"Harvey, are you ok?" Donna frowned when she saw that he startled him. She softly came into the room and immediately came up beside him and he outstretched his hand wherein she placed her hand in his. She intertwined their fingers and looked out the window with him. It was a beautiful sunny day. The sun glinted off the glass of the buildings as sunset was soon to begin. Deceptively earlier it was so sunny that it looked like a summer day; however, when one ventured outside the air was definitely that of Februrary. Donna squeezed Harvey's hand and looked up at him. His response was squeezing of her fingers and a mild smile to her as he turned alerted Donna to something amiss. It did not take a mind reader to know that he must have seen Paula on the way back and something was disturbing him.
"What happened, Harvey? Paula make a pass at you?" She tried to diffuse the intensity in the air by bantering with him. It normally worked to bring him out of his more somber thoughts.
Harvey turned from the window and still holding Donna's hand in his and taking her other one. He sighed heavily.
"Look, I don't know how to say this, so I am just going to say it..."
"Oh my God, she's pregnant, isn't she?" Donna let go of his hands and stepped back and shook her head.
"Yes, she's pregnant. She says it's mine and...I believe her." Harvey let out a breath he did not realize he had been holding and looked at Donna to see her beautiful uplifting smile deteriorate and her bottom lip begin to quiver.
"Ok..." Donna said softly and tearfully as she stepped back and began to remove her engagement ring. Wordlessly she left the ring on Harvey's desk and ran from his office.
"Donna!" Harvey called following behind her. Some employees were still preparing to leave and their heads turning to look as they heard THE Harvey Specter calling out to stop his fiancee from running out of the building.
"What are you looking at?" Harvey remarked angrily as he noted the stares he was getting from those of the support staff which had stopped preparing for home when they heard him call for Donna.
Donna jumped into the elevator. She had just knew that once Harvey and she had finally found each other and admitted what they wanted something would be in the cards to prevent it. Paula...Paula. She was the last person I thought would be a roadblock for us. I always thought it would be Scottie. Yet for all the times they were sleeping together, Scottie never got pregnant. The last thing ever on Scottie's mind was a baby. She was too ambitious for her career and to get her name on a wall of a firm whether it was theirs or someone else's.
Donna watched the doors almost close before Harvey breathing a little fast for the exercise of trying to catch up to her jumped into the car holding her engagement ring in his fingers. Luckily they were the only two in the elevator.
"I think you forgot something..." Harvey tried to hand Donna back her ring.
"No, Harvey, we can't get married after this. Paula is having your child. You belong with her."
"No, I belong with you. I told Paula that I would support her as a friend and I would, of course, support the child. I told her that I would not break your heart again. Besides I love you and I couldn't live without you." Harvey said as he took a step and placed the ring again on Donna's finger. Donna was about to pull it off again but stopped when Harvey took that hand in both of his. The elevator was descending so Harvey hit the floor with the snack bar on it and decided maybe they could sit at a table away from their respective offices and importuning eyes and discuss this issue.
They found a small table in the corner of the room and ordered two coffees.
"Donna-"
"Harvey, are you sure it's yours?" Donna began the conversation.
"I asked her if she would mind taking a paternity test when it was safe for her and the baby. I don't want her to miscarry even if the child isn't really mine."
Donna lowered her eyes and bit her lip. She wanted to distrust Paula and think that she was tricking Harvey because she could not let go of him. Also Eddie, Paula's ex, had induced a slander/libel suit which if Louis could not settle out of court would for sure render her psychiatric career null and void. Although Donna was not fond of Paula after their last conversation a few weeks ago she would never want another woman's career to be over. After Malik's slanderous remarks about how Donna herself obtained her COO position, Donna knew all too well what slander did to one's dignity.
Donna looked up and realized that Harvey had been talking the whole time and she had missed what he had been saying.
"Donna? Have you been listening?" Harvey wondered. He had not really paid attention to see if Donna had his full attention he had just kept rambling trying to reassure her that he was going nowhere and without her he could not face this.
"Harvey, you say that we'll be together despite you having a baby with Paula, but I know what's going to happen. The further along her pregnancy is the more you're going to want to be there. Don't kid yourself. You could no more not be there than if your brother was sick again."
"Donna, please..."
"Look, Harvey, I'll keep the ring, but I'm not going to wear it until I feel that Paula and this baby won't come between us," Donna said removing the ring from her finger. "It's a good thing I didn't call anybody in my family yet. You?"
"Just mom...she encouraged me to "shit or get off the pot and ask you to marry me" as a matter of fact," Harvey said with a genuine smile. They drank their coffees and settled a little easier in one another's company. Harvey held tight to Donna's hand across the table and regretted his prior behavior. Harvey was not wont to regret when he looked back, but lately where his families were concerned he knew he had done those he loved wrong. The main one being this woman who had sacrificed for him simply because she had fallen in love with him. He would never forget at how stupid he was. They could have had their own children now instead of just coming together, but she would have left him professionally and he would never have turned into the lawyer he was now.
Donna squeezed Harvey's hand in return and looked into his eyes. God I love him. Please let us be together. Not that I wish anything bad for this child, but I finally have him and he's mine. I have to support him as I always have. He needs to know this but I have to face the fact that he may not wind up with me once this child comes.
"Harvey, if you're finished your coffee, I need to go back so I can go home. I have a couple of interviews tomorrow that I have to prepare for and I promised Robert a business plan before he took over."
"Sure, COO. I understand. I guess you wouldn't consider coming back to my place tonight?"
"I think we need some time away from each other so we can decide how we are going to be together through this. At least I need some time ok?"
"Sure," Harvey said quietly leaving some cash on the table with a generous tip for just coffees and taking Donna's hand walked back with her to the elevator.
They kissed and held each other tight. The elevator eventually pinged, and they were back up on the 50th floor. The door opened and people were standing ready to go home for the night.
They both turned and saw the on rushing crowd so they both stepped off. Harvey walked Donna slowly to her office since it was before his along the path.
"Can I come in?"
"Why ask now? You never have to ask, Harvey. You always do what you want."
"That's not fair, Donna. This is my child."
"So she says, but I understand how you feel."
Harvey bent forward and kissed Donna on the lips. A chaste kiss as most of them were in the elevator. Harvey also desperately held Donna tightly in his arms while they had been alone in the elevator. However, now, he kissed her as if he was no longer allowed to touch her in that way.
"I love you, Harvey," Donna said as he started to step away.
"I love you, too, Donna. Don't forget that please. Just call Ray and he'll drive you back to your apartment if you want."
"Sure. Thank you. Don't worry. You don't have to come pick me up in the morning. I'll take my car. I don't mind traversing the early morning streets of Manhattan. It actually helps me prepare for the day."
Harvey smiled and almost protested that she let him continue to pamper her like that. Lord knows, I haven't done it enough. I can never repay her for breaking her heart again.