Notes: effects of ptsd (everyone remember it manifests differently for everyone), depression, transgender character (I assume this doesn't actually need a warning but I figure I should note one is there.), reminder there are non-human humanoid characters in this, possible other fic spoilers.

Chapter Five: There's a Person Underneath That Armor

"Do strong people always wonder if they're weak? Do the strong have a hard time smiling? I've always figured they do and smile anyway because if people don't smile, something is wrong. When gorillas smile, dad says, something is wrong. It must be the same with monsters too."

A commander's apartment should be spartan, decorative in the loyalty of their army, devoted to the cause. Sayo, having been to her commander's apartment way more times than was necessary, knew that was a lie. If her chief wanted to, it would be decorated like a proper Tamer Home, an island in the middle of these formerly expensive high-rises. However, the woman had once admitted she had lost her love for islands and seas in her adolescence, so she preferred an imaginary sort of normalcy.

Therefore, tired of talking, Sayo still wasn't surprised to open the woman's door and be greeted by six different cats and two litters of kittens.

She was mildly surprised to hear Hikari squeak behind her, cutting off the next question for at least a few seconds. Thankfully. She had enough questions for a textbook, and most of them were actually about things she knew about. Joy.

Darja shifted sleepily, causing Sayo to look down. The girl had left a gleeful wet spot of drool on the collar of her shirt not more than ten minutes ago. Now she looked for all the world like a tired toddler.

"Cute," Taiki said to her, waving at the cats. They all gave him their routine hissing noise at him and like a furry hive mind, scooted away from him. Sayo tried to glare at him, but only succeeding at looking embarrassed. He winked at her. "Well, I've successfully managed to get you home safely, stuff and all, so I think I'll head home. I'll come back tomorrow afternoon to help Yagami-san over here. Set up her own place and everything. Is it all right with you?" He looked at Hikari herself as he said this last part.

Hikari's face colored with concern. "I… I couldn't impose on her family like that!" It seemed that the realization of what was going on had just occurred to her.

"Impose away," Sayo replied with a small shrug. "You'd be better company than I am. Plus, a commander of our military force lives here. She could help you as well." Her eyes went to Tailmon, who lashed her tail right back. "Theoretically." She shrugged and hefted up Darja once more. "Make up your mind though, this little kid is heavy."

"She can't be that heavy," Taiki said with a laugh. "Does she eat cat and people food?"

"Probably," Sayo said, watching the girl's nose scrunch. "She knows we're talking about her."

"Self-assured too," Taiki said. He looked over at Hikari, who fidgeted awkwardly between the two of them. "There's a shelter a train ride away. I could take you there if it would make you feel better."

They both watched Hikari war with good manners and common sense. Sayo thought it would be cute if she didn't look genuinely upset by it. Then she exhaled. "I… If you don't mind having me."

"We don't." This response came from the opening door and slightly above Sayo's head.

Taiki saluted the woman with two fingers as she opened the door and Sayo nodded her head, still burdened with sleeping toddler. "Ello Chief."

"The one time the pair of you stand on ceremony," the woman said dryly, holding out her hands. With no small amount of relief, Sayo handed Darja to her mother, who whined at the loss until her face was buried into her parent's neck. The woman looked over to Hikari, who suddenly felt a pressing urge to duck.

"This is a delayed welcome, and possibly unwanted, but I welcome you to Digital CITY." Her voice took on a crisp, blunt tone. "I'm going to assume, Yagami Hikari, unlike our other recent entry, that you were not sent here by order of the government for something minor in the grand scheme of things."

Hikari blinked again, fingers resting on her jacket pocket. "I… I'm sorry?"

"Our Chief gets right to the point," Sayo supplied, removing her hat and beginning to take off her shoes despite still being outside. "She basically wants proof you didn't try to sneak up here, though why you would is up for debate."

Hikari moved to pet Tailmon, looking down at her dirty white shoes, basically grey in color. Now that Sayo was really looking, all of her clothes looked to be staying on her body out of sheer stubbornness. "That's… completely strange."

"I am strange," the chief replied, stepping back to let them in. "It makes me feel better. So, bluntly stated, what brings you here now, of all times?" She paused. "Go home, Kudo," she added with a snort. "Before I hear from your father we're overworking you."

Taiki's expression twisted with reluctance. He had been interested in the goings-on for a second there. However, he turned and waved good night, walking away. Hikari wanted to be angry about how quickly he was cowed, but the way Sayo watched the woman made her heart slow in her chest a little.

"Come on Julia." Her voice sounded exhausted. "She just got here. I mean, she's gotta be here for something important, but can we let her get a bed first?"

'Julia's' lips twitched. "Oh? Is my little ball of fury becoming aware?"

"Oh shove it." Sayo's olive cheeks darkened further, lips scrunching into an embarrassed pout. Hikari couldn't help but stare with fascination at the expressiveness there, unlike when she had first seen the other girl in- no, don't think of that- and encountered someone with such a blank face that it hurt. "She just got here like, three hours ago. She'll have to be interrogated by someone anyway. I don't think she's a mole in a plot to destroy the city. She'd have come through the door if so, right?"

Julia raised an eyebrow. "I suppose so, but she does need to understand the situation in full, as I presume she did not before now."

"I-" Hikari hesitated. She had been warned many, many times in battle to keep some cards close to your chest. And this was a battle of some kind wasn't it? Of willpower or something? But something had to give. "I know about this place. In the past, I've met people from here."

Julia smirked like the cat who had caught the canary. Tailmon bristled at the prospect. "So you see why this is so baffling to us, right? Your group has never been brought here before in any sense. So, if I may ask, why you?"

Hikari's face flickered through thoughts so fast Sayo was surprised her eyes didn't blur. Then, she looked Julia right in the eye and said, "I told the government officials trying to arrest me that if they went after my family and friends I would cause the world to end again, and that was a very bad idea."

For some reason, Sayo found herself grinning. Julia looked quite amused herself. "That, my dear, is an interesting answer." Her serious expression suddenly eased, particularly at the shifting Darja on her chest. "Now, let's get inside, Sayo can show you how to fill out the citizenship paperwork, considering she might as well start her own."

Sayo didn't even protest, barring a low grumble of, "I hate writing."

"So do I but the audio software still picks up our curse words."

Hikari giggled at the disgruntled look on Sayo's face. She couldn't help herself. It was so nice to see reactions from people, even if they weren't real.

Everyone was entitled to their secrets, including them.

Even as she walked inside, her free hand kept in her pocket, on the soft fake fur of her long-time companion. Tailmon brushed soothingly against her cheek, but Hikari did not relax. Not yet.

Hikari woke up in the middle of the night to screaming. Her fingers fastened around Jeanne's plush fur, she sprang out of bed. Natalia's ears were up as she caught her bearings in the dark. Crouched on the floor, Hikari listened for the telltale sounds of battle, for the screech of flame-

But the screaming only continued, until the sound of a child's cries joined it for a few moments of confusion. Right next to her, the screaming kept on until a door opened and then it was only muffled, held down by the whispers of adults and eventually, draining energy. The screaming turned to sobbing and cursing, spewed words of rage and pain and-

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I was too slow I'm sorry this is because of me because I got proud I killed you I'm so sorry, where are you this is a dream you aren't here this is a dream!"

-regret.

Hikari eased back to sit on the floor, heart thumping in her chest too loudly still but not enough to not hear it eventually grow quiet, not enough to not hear the sounds of hiccups of pain until they faded away into hitches of breath. They might fade away to sleep, but it would take time. Like it had taken her time. Like it always took away things rather than gave them to you.

She heard the adults pacing outside, Darja's sniffles clear despite the closed door.

"That was faster than I expected." Julia's voice, barely shaken. She envied that all of a sudden, envied that world-weariness that meant that even the pain of children no longer broke her down to hear. "You said it would take you longer."

Shinta's voice however, was trembling. "Yes well, the little one clinging to her shirt helped immensely, as much of a problem as that was..." He cleared his throat. "It's been a long time since I heard her scream like that."

She had to guess Julia's hand was on his shoulder. "Shinta, you've seen what's been done to these children. All of them scream." Her gentle voice wasn't the normal kind of soothing, not exactly, but there was a low churr to it that worked in its own inhuman way. "For different reasons, at different monsters."

"It's different when it's yours," he replied. He sounded insistent, desperately so.

"It is."

Hikari turned over and rested her fingers on the soft plush on her pillow.

"Jeanne," she whispered, desperate to tune them out. "Raccoon. Wide Area Scan."

The plush was still a moment, then it rolled over on her pillow. About the size of a baby's first stuffed animal, the dog plush seemed like an overactive child's toy. Then it let out a quiet wan sound of agreement, coaxing itself next to Tailmon in an attempt to hide the light washing from its frame. Natalia rolled her eyes at it but did not move.

It opened its mouth with another 'wan' sound. "No hostility detected. Threats have been managed."

Hikari rubbed Tailmon's head. "Thanks, Jeanne." She determinedly kept her voice low, trying to ignore the continued conversation outside. "Astrid search."

"Wan!" The search will take time.

Hikari didn't mind that. She had time. She had too much of it, now. She laid back down with Tailmon curled against her chest and tried to sleep.

When she opened her eyes again, a grayish light was streaming in through the curtains. Outside was cloudy, bunching up in preparation for rain. Last night, she had been told that all seasons here were artificial to give earth humans a sense of normalcy and a way to grow crops. Digital World crops, as far as she knew, didn't seem to care but it was better to be safe than sorry. She picked herself up from the bed, with Jeanne in her pajama pocket. Julia had helpfully offered her some old ones, without mentioning whose they had been or why they were so well-cared for. Hikari knew better than to ask.

When she arrived out in the living room however with Tailmon in her arms (was it polite to use a Digimon's name? She needed to find that out.) she found Sayo already awake with someone else, hat nowhere to be seen and therefore with her ears and her tail in full view of the occupants. They were facing opposite sides on the floor, a vaguely familiar board in between them. Even in the miserable morning light and with the pallor of her dark skin, Sayo somehow managed to look well, even with the sleeves of her clothes drooping over her fingers. She held a single black stone in one hand, not looking up.

The stranger did, however, smiling up at her through silver bangs that seemed unevenly cut. "Hello," they said, friendly enough. They were small, not in the same way Sayo was compact but more that they had been in some corner for too long and didn't know how to stretch their wings. "You must be Hikari-san."

"Does everyone know who she is but me?" Sayo muttered, placing a stone down. She, naturally, sounded exhausted. "Did I keep you up last night?"

Hikari felt her manners nearly throw her to the floor. "Oh! No, no, not really."

"Probably did." Sayo yawned. "Don't worry. You can be honest. Ryouma knows."

"I have to know," agreed the stranger and Hikari saw little Darja was actually peacefully in his lap. "Anything that keeps her quiet is a boon."

Sayo snorted. "Why did they hire you?"

"Hiring anyone else costs food." Ryouma laughed, pressing the lines of what appeared to be a weathered suit. "I can be paid in Bit and fabric." He smiled at Hikari once more. "Would you like to sit down? Shinta-san went out to get some more eggs. Because a carton isn't enough apparently."

"I think he's hiding something." Sayo placed another stone after he did. "He always tends to sneak out of the house when he's up to something. Probably doesn't want me to see the tutor he's hiring to correct my grammar."

Ryouma made a noise between a snigger and a giggle and Hikari felt her mouth twitch as she sat down beside them. "My grandmother tried to show me this game," she said after a moment, fishing for conversation.

Sayo glanced at her as Ryouma scanned the board. "Tried?"

Hikari made herself smile, trying not to shift at the feeling that gaze left on her, so wrong somehow. "I apparently threw up on the goban*."

Ryouma had to cover his mouth to not wake the toddler, he was laughing so hard. Darja, however, whined at the trembling in his shoulders and how he moved his legs. She made a pouting face and worked to crawl away. He placed his stone and picked her up. "No," he told her, quite firmly considering the grin on his face. "I will get Danger in here. Do you want to be licked until you can't breathe?"

"Nu!" She replied with a beaming grin of her own.

"That's what I thought." He set her back down. "Now just watch me beat your cousin."

Sayo looked up at him and Hikari saw the flicker in her eyes, the violet fire that would promise retribution. "Excuse you."

Ryouma snickered at that, clearly used to half-human. "If you can get back half your territory in six moves, you're a whole different kind of wonder."

She glared at him and proceeded to do just that.

It only made Ryouma laugh harder. Hikari had to giggle too, especially at the smug look of triumph on the other's face, cheeks flushed with victory.

"Noisy," a voice interrupted from the edge of the living room.

All of them looked up and Sayo smiled. It was a flimsy, cajoling look that reminded people this was a fragile child coming into the room and that all but one were probably of the same cloth. "Morning, Frisk."

Frisk squinted at them, literally. The poor thing likely needed glasses. They looked a bit like a drowned rat, too thin, but pleasantly washed and with a comb and brush having turned their hair to lay so flat it looked like wet pasta. They didn't look any better than they had the night before, except only cleaner, only with a real meal in their belly. They were disheveled, but a safer kind.

Hikari watched the child's mouth twitch, mouth words. "… Hello."

Darja squeaked at them and they flinched for a moment. Then they relaxed. "Breakfast?"

"Soon," Ryouma replied breezily. "Nice to meet you, Frisk." He began clearing the board.

Sayo hopped to her feet, coming over to him in near silent steps with a swish of her tail. Hikari watched Darja follow it in fascination. "How are you feeling buddy?"

"Tired." Go-to response. Hikari saw Sayo's face shutter for a moment, but then she smiled.

"I woke you up so that's natural." She reached out and slowly touched the child on the cheek. They quivered but did not move away. "Wanna watch me beat this guy in another game of Go?"

"You pulled a lucky break," Ryouma protested, raising an eyebrow so high it should have ended up in the atmosphere.

Sayo smirked at him and waggled a finger. "You dared me."

The look on his face in reply was positively demonic. He grabbed a fistful of stones. "Count."

Frisk, puzzled, went to sit next to Hikari. Hikari tried to pretend it wasn't weird. Then, the game was on.

By the time Shinta returned nearly an hour later with Julia in tow, Darja had managed to seat herself on Hikari. Not to mention that Sayo had fallen asleep sitting up. Ryouma reached over and swept a slender hand under her nose. She let out a snort and started awake, looking up at her family with likely the same bafflement that was currently fueling all of Hikari's existence.

"Morning."

Shinta's face went tight for a moment before it eased, stepping inside with bags in hand. "Good morning all of you. I didn't expect you here until ten, Ryouma-kun."

Ryouma smiled earnestly up at him. "Akari-kun woke us up rushing to get to work. We had to help her so by the time that was done, I was awake. And Sayo let me in. Taiki-san had morning class or he'd be around too."

Hikari saw Sayo raise an eyebrow and Hikari twitched, listening to her native language with some possibly undue fascination. There was so much social commentary in every word… and it was none of her business.

Sayo looked at her suddenly. "Are you having trouble understanding us?"

Hikari frowned. "Should I?"

Julia shut the door behind her, obedient to her daughter's squeaking toddle. As she scooped her up, she replied. "Digivices emit a translation wave the more data is around them. It works less well in the human world for example because there is less ambient data but here and the Digital World it's possible." She gave Darja a nose tweak and earned an irritable huff. "A good portion of people here are Japanese, but there's a mix of everyone who walks through these walls. A common language had to be formed to do so until the digivice picked up on what we were all saying. So that's what Sayo is referring to."

"Oh..." Hikari flushed. "Well, I haven't had any trouble so far." She brushed Tailmon's fur. Her flush darkened when her stomach grumbled.

Darja giggled at the sound until letting out a whine of hunger.

Shinta laughed, and the shadows lining his face faded away. "Then I suppose I'd better get started."

Hikari raised her hand. "I can help."

Sayo stretched. "Same. I know how to cook."

Shinta raised an eyebrow. "Yagami is a guest, and you, Sayo, are supposed to be taking it easy-"

"Cooking is easy-" Sayo interrupted.

"And finishing your paperwork." Shinta finished with a smirk.

Ryouma laughed at the look on her face. Hikari hid her smile under her hand.

"It's okay," she said, managing to smile at Sayo and mean it. "I need help with mine anyway."

Sayo stared at her for a moment. Then she shrugged as if the entire reason she had thought about helping had left her. "Sure. You're right. Let's do it before our hands cramp."

Hikari smiled it off.

"Tutor is supposed to be here at one," Shinta called as Sayo marched away. She made a face where he couldn't see.

Hikari frowned. "Will I need tutoring?" She hadn't even graduated middle school after all, and in Japan, that had been a legal requirement.

Sayo glanced at her and shrugged again. "Depends on how you do on the qualification test. I've never been to school so I can't say."

"Are the schools here… bad?" If she was going to be living here for the foreseeable future, she'd likely need to enroll.

Sayo chewed her lip. "My little sister went until recently. She liked them. They're pretty open-minded. You'll just be a celebrity."

"Oh..." She hadn't thought of that. Hikari was starting to regret letting Mirei manipulate her into something. Again.

They settled in the office room on the sofa. It was freshly cleaned and the cushions replaced. Sayo shut the door behind them and sat down. The pendant around her neck flashed in the blinds. She pressed her fingers to it and then looked at her.

"Pull it out."

Hikari blanched and Tailmon opened her eyes as if she had only been pretending to sleep. "I'm… sorry?"

Sayo tapped her pendant, which flashed on its own a pale blue. "You've got one, right? A weapon?"

Hikari stepped back towards the door. "I don't..."

"I don't remember you." Sayo kept her voice calm. "Everyone else knows who you are. But I remember someone with a powerful light, very far in the back of my mind. And last night, when I was falling asleep, I felt magic just like that. Are you that person, or aren't you? Why are you here?"

A/N: It's hereeeee~ Another Stars update and now is when I get to dance around Simple Math and its sequel spoilers. Whoops! Oh well, most of it doesn't pertain to Stars so we're fine. Also apparently for this story I have to write the first line, not touch it for months, and then write it for two days straight. That's absurd. Oh well, I guess. But anyway, we're here now! Enjoy and please leave a review! I don't write these 3k chapters for health reasons. Also if this gets another update, it's all Hacker's Memory's fault.