Disclaimer: see part one.
Part Four
Why was it so hard to let him go?
This was the question that plagued Laurel in the weeks following Oliver and Felicity's joyous engagement. While Felicity struggled to adjust to her new limitations, the team helped Lyla and the Diggle brothers thwart an attempt to access Rubicon. Laurel kept her interactions with Oliver to a minimum, needing the distance.
She'd let him go and he'd left. Mentally, she'd accepted that he wasn't coming back to her. She'd thought her heart had made peace with the truth as well. They'd settled back into being friends and it had been enough; it had been good. Then he'd come under pressure with Felicity's injuries, blaming himself and reverting to old coping mechanisms. He'd brought up Nanda Parbat and forced Laurel to lie to keep his focus on what really mattered. She knew he didn't love her, not the way she would always love him, and she wouldn't let herself be used again. Nanda Parbat had been nothing but lies on his part, she knew that now. He may have loved her once, but she'd never been his strength, his dream.
That was Felicity's role and Laurel didn't begrudge her Oliver's affections. She'd lost her chance when she pushed him away after Tommy's death. Laurel accepted that and had learned to live with the disappointment.
Rather than let bitterness or ancient history come between them, Laurel had made a concentrated effort to befriend Felicity. It was slow going at first, when Felicity and Oliver returned from Ivy Town, but eventually they found common ground which paved the way for a beautiful friendship.
After Felicity's diagnosis, and her comeback, Laurel called her over for a well-deserved girls' night.
"Okay, I've got mint chocolate chip for Thea, Rocky Road for me, and strawberry shortcake for Felicity, and all the toppings you could ask for. Please tell me you've settled on a movie," Laurel carried three pints of ice cream, three spoons, and an armload of said toppings into her living room.
"We're between an action movie and a historical mystery," Felicity eagerly held out her hands for her pint.
"I'd say we see enough action in our regular lives, why not the whodunit?" Laurel made her pick.
"Fine, but if you two start talking midway through the movie, I'm switching out the DVDs," Thea let out a long-suffering sigh that the other women rolled their eyes at good-naturedly.
They lasted until the killer was painfully obvious, at which point Thea had also lost interest in the movie.
"I'm glad you're back as Overwatch, we missed having you there to watch our backs," Laurel said.
"Didn't you miss my witty side comments as well?" Felicity wagged her eyebrows. She'd been in a funk a few days ago when Laurel visited her at the loft, now the lawyer was glad to see that her friend was getting back to her old self. They laughed and shared a few jokes about some of Felicity's more memorable commentaries. Then Thea wanted to know:
"Heard you went back to work at Palmer Tech, how was that?"
"I'll admit, I had some serious doubts – it's not like the board respected me much before I lost my legs, but once I confronted my inner demons, I found this wealth of strength I didn't realize I had. I realized I don't need my legs to make a difference or live a fulfilling life, so long as I have my intelligence, I can conquer the world."
"Here, here," Thea toasted with a spoon full of ice cream.
"Now, enough about me. What have you two been up to?"
"I'm not as content," Laurel admitted after Thea described how much she was learning and enjoying her exposure to politics; "I became a lawyer to help people, but in a system as broken as ours, I don't feel like I'm accomplishing much. As Black Canary, I do, but sometimes I regret breaking the letter of the law to save the spirit. I guess I wish I could do more in the DA's office to make vigilantism unnecessary."
"Well, I'd miss the excitement, but for a safer city, I'd be willing to give up Overwatch. And if anyone is going to find a way to fix our system, I know it will be you," Felicity said confidently, completely serious. Laurel smiled in gratitude.
Felicity was a wonderful human being, simple as that. The kind of woman Oliver deserved.
She was glad he went back to Felicity. That he got over his fears and followed his heart.
She only wished she hadn't been lying when she said she'd moved on.
Thea's turn for the worse and Roy's albeit-short return distracted her from her internal drama long enough to remember what mattered more. She locked up her heartache and focused on taking care of those around her.
Then Nyssa arrived with the promise of a cure for Thea at the price of Malcolm Merlyn's life. Laurel's code of justice had never included murder, but with Thea's life in the balance, she was willing to put her little sister first – she only wished it didn't have to be Oliver's hand that struck the blow. She was proud of him for trying to find another way. A sign that he was still changing, for the better. She should've been less blood-thirsty, even if the man in question was Malcolm Merlyn. Laurel had been on her way to tell Oliver as much when she overheard his conversation with the locked-up Nyssa.
"I'm not here to plead Thea's case again. You know what she means to me, why I can't take Malcolm from her. What I want is for you to see me, the real me. I know I killed your father, and I'm sorry that I did, but I'm not that person any more. Al Sah-Him was who your father wanted me to be, what he wanted you to be, but I'm trying to be something better. To choose a path that inspires people to be better, and I can't do that if I resort to killing a man to save another."
"My father would say strength is more important than fleeting goals of betterment. He would be very disappointed in your aspirations, brother-in-law. He would want you to kill Malcolm Merlyn."
"Which is how I know it's the wrong call to make. I know where my strength comes from, and its in relationships your father never understood. My strengths beat him in the end."
There was a pause where Nyssa considered Oliver's words. What Laurel wouldn't give to see their expressions right now, to know what they were thinking. As it was, she felt slightly bad for overhearing this private conversation, but she didn't dare try to sneak away – they'd both hear her if she did. (She didn't realize they already knew she was there, of the words and understanding that passed between the two unsaid.)
"What would you have me do, brother-in-law?"
"Help me find a way for all of us to get what we want without either of us becoming your father in the process," Oliver implored.
In the end, Oliver challenged Malcolm to trial by combat. It was his right as the previous, true heir to the last Ra's al Ghul. Malcolm was cocky enough to accept the challenge and he lost. He wanted Oliver to kill him, but Oliver only took his hand. The Demon's Head ring was given to Nyssa, and to finally end her father's legacy, she disbanded the League and melted the ring. Laurel was proud of her blood-sister, even though she hated to see Nyssa leave so soon after – but Nyssa wanted to see more of the world as herself, not an assassin, and she wanted to keep an eye on Malcolm, because she still didn't trust him.
"Here's a question: Why do you keep calling Oliver brother-in-law?" John asked when the team plus Nyssa and Quentin were celebrating Thea's good health.
"Dinah is my sister, as Oliver is her husband under League law, that makes him my brother-in-law," Nyssa answered. The bland expression she wore told Laurel she knew very well the can of worms she was opening and yet she'd done it anyway.
Laurel handled explaining the situation to her dad, who nearly choked on his drink at the news. She let Ollie explain to Felicity and John why it didn't matter. Quentin wound up seeing right through her nonchalance act. She didn't cry, but it felt good to have her dad hold her as she mourned the loss of a future that she hadn't realized she still wanted, until it was already gone. Nyssa dropped in to say goodbye and offered Laurel a ceremonial divorce blade. "Thank you, but no. The marriage was never real, there's no point in dragging the drama out with a fake divorce."
Oliver had managed to appease Felicity before his mayoral debate with Ruve Adams. The team's attempt to track Ruve to her husband failed, but so did Darhk's attempt to kill Quentin and stop the debate. After the debate, Laurel could see something was troubling Thea, but the younger Queen didn't want to talk about it. Laurel gave Thea space on the issue, but John didn't give her any on the truth about Nanda Parbat.
"I thought we were friends, Laurel. Why didn't you tell me? You told Thea," Diggle cornered her alone.
Laurel defended her right to privacy and denied that a fake marriage was a real secret. John didn't believe her. Somehow, he knew it had meant more to Laurel and he acted like it had meant something to Oliver too.
"If you're worried about blind spots, don't be. Ollie's moved on and so have I. We haven't let it affect our performance on the team, you shouldn't either."
Yet John's actions did haunt her. Made her second guess some of her assumptions about Oliver. Was there a chance that part of him still loved her?
Having the complete picture, Thea followed Laurel and Oliver's lead and pretended the whole affair had never happened. Because, despite what had been said and done in Nanda Parbat, Oliver and Laurel had reached a peaceful compromise. They'd rebuilt their friendship and neither wanted to jeopardize that. Diggle watched both of them rather closely and Felicity gave Laurel the cold shoulder until she apologized for keeping the secret.
For a time, they returned to normal, but there were occasional bumps along the way. The last time anyone brought up Nanda Parbat was when they were tracking a couple holding-up convenience stores. It didn't take long for the team to uncover the couple's identities and discover their daughter's health condition which insurance wouldn't cover. Oliver wanted to confront the couple and convince them to find the money a better way, rather than separating them from their ill child.
"Yes, because that worked out so well with the Restons," Felicity pointed out.
"I'm not going to offer them a job or let them keep the money. Times have been tough, but I'm certain that if they'd known any other way to get their daughter the medical attention she needs, they would've taken it over becoming criminals."
"You gave the Restons a second chance, a good one, but they didn't take it because they found the criminal path easier. Felicity's right, you're not thinking this through," Diggle argued.
"Why do you want to help the Crockers so much?" Laurel asked Oliver.
"To remind them that they aren't alone. There are people out there who will help them in their hour of need. They've been trying to care for their daughter alone, either because they didn't know how to ask for help or who. We can change that for them and get them back on the right path. There is no justice in separating them from their daughter when she needs them now more than ever."
"Then I vote we try Oliver's way," Laurel was open to a team discussion before they made a final call, but she could already tell that Thea was leaning their way.
"Of course, you agree with him, because Oliver can do no wrong in your sight," Felicity huffed. Then muttered; "Not even in Nanda Parbat." The others chose to let that slide rather than rehash the old argument.
"This isn't about Ollie. I happen to believe in seeing the best in people and I admire Oliver's preference to give the Crockers a second chance. We've all made the wrong choice before and needed a wake-up call – and a second chance."
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He had a son.
The reality that Oliver had a son wasn't that surprising. As her dad pointed out, he used to get around a lot. It wouldn't have been surprising to learn he had more than one child. What stung was knowing his son had been conceived and born when he was with her. She'd figured it out the moment William's age had been mentioned, but what truly hurt was having to hear Samantha's apology first.
She'd forgiven Samantha for the same reason she'd forgiven Sara – because the old Ollie could charm his way in and out of trouble, which even Laurel hadn't been immune to. She could even forgive him for lying now, for brushing her off when she offered to listen. He kept his promise to Samantha because he wanted a chance to get to know his son – he wanted time with his own flesh and blood; a want she understood acutely. What she couldn't forget was how he forgot her feelings again, once the truth came out – William, and Felicity, even Samantha, were his priority.
"I'm sorry," Thea murmured as they got into position on the bike. With the aid of Vixen, Mari McCabe, they'd tracked the source of Darhk's magic. They were preparing to strike at him early rather than trust Damien to be true to his word; a decision Oliver had left in Laurel's hands because he thought she would be more objective, and for William's sake she hoped he was right. "I wanted to tell you about William when I found out, but Samantha had made her rules clear."
"It's all right, Thea," Laurel ditched codenames because they had had their mics off and they were alone on the road; "It wasn't your choice to make. You have nothing to be sorry for. This is on Ollie."
They rescued William, destroyed the source of Darhk's magic, and captured the man who'd been terrorizing their city for months in one fell swoop. Laurel should've felt happy at their accomplishments, instead all she felt was the bite of anger and pain. Hurt and irritation seemed to simmer in her more often than late, which wasn't like her, and made her wonder if Nyssa hadn't been wrong in her belief that the Pit still was affecting Laurel. She worked to cleanse the negativity from her system as she and Oliver said their goodbyes to Mari on the road back to Detroit. Mari gave Oliver some parting advice on William, then she was gone.
"You gonna tell me why you're mad at me now?" Oliver blocked her door on the car. (He wished she wouldn't do this. Keep everything bottled up until he pushed. Then she vented at him, because of him.)
"You really have to ask?"
"This is about William."
"No, it about you and how you handled the situation."
"I told you, Samantha made me promise."
"Three months ago, she made you promise three months ago. Your mom didn't write that check three months ago," Laurel pushed back the pain, but she couldn't suppress all the anger.
"She told me she lost the baby," Oliver's face rippled with remembered disappointment; the loss of something he'd feared but wanted. Laurel made certain to keep her expression blank.
"You didn't tell me about her, about the baby. I'd taken you back before, forgiven you, but you didn't tell me."
"It was different, then. I was different."
"Yeah, well, it's different for me now," she used to rationalize his actions. Forgive him and forget, because she thought he loved her as she loved him. It had taken the Gambit for her to realize how broken he'd left her. She used to think she didn't deserve to be loved the way she wanted. She'd felt like damaged goods, like there was something wrong with her and that was why he cheated. Tommy had been the one to show her she wasn't broken, that she was loved the way she'd hoped, and she'd lost him, choosing a foolish dream that crumbled to ash the night of the Undertaking; "I have to work in a few hours, Ollie. Can we please drop this and just go?"
"Do you hate me?" he asked as he drove towards her and Thea's apartment.
"Of course not, Ollie," she loved him with all her heart and trusted him with everything but her heart. She was done making that mistake. Done accepting a love less than what she gave. Maybe she'd fall in love with someone else down the road, maybe she wouldn't. At least now she knew what she wanted and wouldn't settle for anything else.
"What would you have done in my place?"
"I wouldn't have cheated," Laurel replied without missing a beat, but a glance at Oliver confirmed he wanted more; "I would've told the truth, back when you first knew about the baby, and accepted the consequences. I would've accepted the deal with Samantha, because I would've wanted a chance to know my child too."
"And now?"
"That decision is yours to make, Oliver. I'm not the one you should be asking for an opinion," Laurel choked back the pain that bloomed in her chest, half surprised she wasn't bleeding from how much this old wound hurt; "If William were my child, I'd do everything humanly possible to have him in my life, to be in his, but his safety, his happiness would be my first priority. Sometimes, the best way to show how much we love someone is to let them go."
They drove in silence the rest of the way. When Laurel went to get out, Oliver grabbed her hand. She looked back into the car and saw the sincerity in his eyes as he spoke. "I'm sorry, Laurel."
"For what?" she asked tiredly.
"For cheating on you when I should've been true. For lying and keeping secrets. For making you doubt that I see you as an equal – I always felt I was the one who was less, not you. I'm sorry for not telling you about Samantha, earlier. Mostly, I'm sorry for hurting you, every single way that I have."
Why did he have to make this so hard? Reminding her again and again, how he'd changed and was changing. It only made her love him more.
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Thea found him drinking on the patio. "Want to talk about what's bugging you?" she asked, eying his three empty beers and the fourth he was drinking. He didn't, not really, but he told her anyway.
His fiancé had walked out on him – literally, walked out, after weeks of being paralyzed – and he had no one to blame but himself. He knew that but part of him didn't regret his decision to make the call on his own. It was an ingrained response anymore. When he found himself in a tight spot and had a tough call to make, rather than put the pressure on anyone else's shoulders, he assumed the responsibility alone; to protect those he loved, but they never saw it that way.
"If I'm being honest with myself, I didn't want to hear Felicity's opinion, because I wasn't confident that she'd agree with my decision. I love William; he's my son. But to her, he's just a boy she knew nothing about until a couple days ago. A stranger she has no emotional attachment to and no reason to see things from my perspective. So, I locked her out and did what I do best."
"We're Queens. We tend to go to the extreme when protecting our family," Thea agreed.
"Not like that, Thea. I mean that I sabotaged my relationships. With Felicity, and with Laurel. Gah," Oliver scrubbed at his face, remembering the pain he'd seen in Laurel's eyes as she talked about William; "I messed up big time with Laurel again. I should've pulled her aside the moment Samantha came to me and apologized. Instead I was a coward, I didn't want to face the history of my mistakes with her, and not acknowledging it only hurt her worse."
Thea absorbed his words and didn't immediately reply. Oliver drowned his misery in another drink – he could kick himself for a few hours. After all, they'd stopped Darhk, even if it had cost him majority of his happiness in his personal life.
"I'm not sure how to help you with Felicity, but I can promise you that you haven't lost Laurel. Not yet, and probably not ever," Thea replied. Oliver gave her a disbelieving look and took another long draw from his beer.
"I keep hurting her without even trying. If she's smart, she'll cut me out of her life for good."
"You aren't hurting her. Yes, you hurt her in the past, but she's forgiven you. That's why I'm here. Laurel sent me to tell you, she's forgiven you, but she needs a little space. This has brought up some painful memories the two of you never properly addressed before. She wants to sort through her feelings, to get them under control, before you talk again, because she doesn't want to say anything in the heat of the moment that she'll regret."
"That does sound a little like Laurel," normally, she wasn't so thoughtful when her emotions got the best of her, but she was changing like the rest of them.
"Even if you didn't have her, you still have me," Thea reminded him. And Oliver set the beer bottle down and wrapped his little sister in a hug. Yes, he still had her, and he would work to repair the damage to his other relationships the best he could. He wasn't the same man he'd been when he returned from the island, or even from Ivy Town, and that was a good thing.
A/N: As I mentioned the first go-around, the point of this story is to give Oliver and Laurel a chance to address the messy history they had before the island, which I felt the show never properly did. They would've needed to if they'd ever tried to bring Laurel and Oliver together again, because he lied and cheated on her so often that had to have left scars and trust issues. (And yes, I'm aware Lauriver was never going to be endgame – which is why I don't watch the show anymore, but I write because it gives me a chance to better my skills and its cathartic. I hope that the Birds of Prey movie at last fulfills my dreams of a live-action BC/GA romance with a Green Arrow/Oliver Queen cameo.)