A/N: Alright, just a few things. One, I accidentally published the unedited version for the previous chapter, so sorry for all the errors and sloppy sentences. I will go and change it out as soon as I can.
WARNINGS: There is actually a warning in this chapter. Intimate scene between a male and female (not detailed) but they do have sex so, up to you if you want to read that. Hinted relations between two men, no details there either as I wasn't sure this story really needed those details.
POSTSCRIPT: I may write a couple one-shots regarding certain scenes I left out between Kyoya and Ranka and Tamaki and Haruhi. They would be M rated for adult content, let me know if anyone is interested and I will post them at some point.
Thank you for your reviews and support, glad you enjoyed the story!
Epilogue
The sky is a beautiful blue, the sun a shining beacon of hope and warmth. It's a resplendent day filled with promise, the air fresh and sweet.
Haruhi steps out of the limo, her father, Tamaki and Kyoya right behind her. The neighborhood around them is old, somehow feels forgotten, yet even here there are signs of life. Some worn down and tired, others bright and youthful, they may still have time to move up in the world, it brings the young girl a certain amount of hope.
Nothing is ever as bad as it seems, and things can change, they can always change…. I wish you were here with me mom. I hope heaven is treating you well.
The small group walks towards the secondary gate, already having passed beyond the first when they pulled in with the limo.
They walk inside the prison, all of them calm and silent save for Haruhi, her hand laced tightly with Tamaki's as they walk up to the front desk.
She's nervous but ready, having taken time to process what she needs to in order to ask the right questions.
They each get a visitors badge, but only Haruhi will speak with whom they came to see. Kyoya had contacted the prison, arranged for a special visit in one of their private rooms with a two way mirror.
It was the only way Ranka would allow her daughter to visit, he didn't have to be in the room, but he wanted to be able to watch, be able to know when he would need to step in, if at all.
It was a waiting game for nearly an hour but finally, they were called and the group was lead down several long halls until finally Tamaki, Kyoya and Ranka were ushered into one room and Haruhi was sent to the door just down the hall.
The warden looked on her kindly and said, "The Ootori Group has been very helpful over the years in making sure our prison and others are well equipped to take care of our inmates. Despite their many egregious mistakes in life, everyone here is still a human being and has the right to proper care. For their generous support we have allowed this special one on one meeting between you and Dr. Sato. If at anytime, you feel unsafe, overwhelmed or need to take a moment to collect yourself simply knock on the door and we will let you out. Have no fear of him, he will be cuffed to the table which is bolted to the floor. He only has a few feet to move, so he won't be able to touch you if you stay seated in your chair. Are you ready?"
"Yes, thank you." and the Warden slid his card through the magnetic lock and when the light turned green he opened the door and motioned for Haruhi to go through.
She saw Sato sitting at the table, head down, hands folded in his lap and her eyes scanned to the reflective mirror on the left side of the room. Behind that glass was her family, they would be able to see and hear everything.
Haruhi was alright with that, glad for it, she wasn't alone anymore, she was supported and safe.
"Dr. Sato?" she calls softly, her hands coming together before her as she stood there and waited.
Slowly the man moved, his head raising up and he suddenly stood, "Haruhi-" there was a loud clang of chains and Haruhi realized he couldn't stand up to his full height, the man not trying to fight against the taught chains he just stood there and stared at her with those wide green eyes.
"You….you came to….see me?"
"Yes." and she rubbed at her arm, eyes taking him in, his eyes, hair, face, lips and hands. Trying to embrace the memories that slowly started to surface from seeing him.
"I don't...understand. I thought you...hated me."
"I thought I did to." she said honestly.
This seemed to get the man's attention and he instantly started to talk, "Please, please sit and talk with me. I know I...I know I hurt you..your family and friends….I was lost….confused. I want to….make things right. Please-" and he trailed off, stared at her with sad eyes that spoke volumes of his regret.
"I have...questions." Haruhi said.
"Yes. Of course you would, yes, please sit, I will answer everything...honestly. No lies, no tricks or manipulations. You deserve that and...I want to….come clean."
Haruhi looked to the glass, hesitated and then moved forward, sitting slowly in the chair as she watched Sato sit as well, his face open and his smile gentle.
"It's so good to see you my little lam- uh, Haruhi...sorry….old habits."
"Where did that name come from? Why little Lamb?" Haruhi asked suddenly.
Sato laughed lightly, "When your father first brought you to see me, you carried a small stuffed lamb in your hand. Ranka claimed you weren't very attached to it, had only had it a few days, but that you held onto it because-"
"That's what children do." Haruhi said softly.
"You remember? His name was-"
"Momo." Haruhi says before she looks away, "That's why I came to see you. I read your journal, and then...I started to remember things."
Sato's eyes grew wide, cheeks red and he cleared his throat as he looked away, "I am sorry you had to do that. I wish you had come to me first, those entries are nothing but the writings of a mad man. My desperate attempts to talk myself out of all the wicked horrible things I was thinking."
There was silence a moment and then Haruhi asked, "I want to know what you did to me at the dojo. Why...everything is still foggy...why...I remember some things so clearly and other things are still just faded pictures. I see things, as if they had happened only yesterday, a clear picture in my mind, like it's etched into my brain-" she trailed off, not sure how else to clarify.
"You said you read my journal. You know what is going on, why some things are so clear, and others foggy. I was trying to clear away the fog at the dojo, help you remember everything by unlocking your eidetic memory."
"Unlocking it?"
"Having an eidetic memory is like having the ability to recall images from memory vividly after only a few seconds of exposure. It comes with a high precision for a brief time after exposure, without using a mnemonic device. And a mnemonic device can be anything from color coding to rhyming. People use them to remember things like, say, I before E except after C. You don't need a mnemonic device, you will simply remember things. It will very, as eidetic memory is considered the strongest by how quickly you can recall something you saw only once. Between that and your minor Hyperthymesia, your mind needed to be reconditioned so as not to retain so much information."
"Hyperthymesia? What's that?"
"It's a condition that leads people to be able to remember an abnormally large number of their life experiences in vivid detail. Haruhi, at just six years old, you were a walking talking video camera. At first I thought it was just an incredible memory, but the more I had you tell me things from your past, the way you remembered the exact temperatures, what socks you were wearing, the color of the suit your mother wore to work when you were three….you could remember things that-"
"So why can't I do that now?" Haruhi asked, "Why is everything so confusing, so blurry?"
"Haruhi, Hyperthymesia is an extraordinary gift, but it is also a curse. While you might remember what type of cake you had on your fourth birthday, you would have suffered in your day to day life. It can cause complications, make it hard to assimilate new information, your school work and social life would have been more difficult to maintain. Memories would have come unbidden, you would have been unable to focus often times and your stream of thought would have been a constant battle to control. I saw this, I watched it. Everything I did to you, it laced together, the more I loved you the more I wanted to help, the more I helped the less I wanted to lose you. In the end, it all became so twisted and conflicting….it had to explode. Had to end the way it did. There was no other option. I see this now."
"You still haven't answered my question. Why...how…..when did you…..I don't understand, I need answers!" she said firmly, suddenly standing and glaring down at the man.
"I can't remember most of it, sure, okay, I can make the choice to move on and let it go. But that night at the dojo, whatever you did….it changed something in me….I'm….I'm scared….all the time. I am terrified, like something awful is just around the corner. I don't want to be scared anymore, I don't like feeling this way!"
Sato stared at her, wide eyed, his lips parting in shock before he swallowed and looked down, "You were always scared." he said softly.
Haruhi's angry face melted into surprise and she waited patiently.
"I did a lot of things to your mind Haruhi, I was a doctor, and even though I loved you so...I saw an opportunity to….experiment. I….essentially…..I turned off your brain's ability to recall so much, then, I started compartmentalizing the feelings you had the most trouble with, fear...anxiety...depression and insecurity. Then….I started conditioning you to love me….all of it with the best intentions but with no real goal other than to give you what you wanted, and give me what I wanted as well."
"Some of the worst things in the world have been done because someone had the best of intentions. What made you think I would want any of that! I was six years old!"
"You...you asked me to." Sato said sadly.
Haruhi felt her stomach drop, eyes near pop from her head as her arms fell limp at her sides and she stared at him, a memory coming unbidden to the forefront of her mind.
I'm scared, I don't want to be scared anymore! Make me not scared, please Dr. Nick, please help me not be scared!
I promise, Haruhi, I will do everything I can to make you feel safe.
"I did it...didn't I...I asked you to change me." Haruhi said softly, her eyes still staring at the back wall just over Sato's right shoulder.
"We would talk, lay together on the floor, you'd play with toys and go on for hours about all the things you wanted to change, how you felt, I meant it….the real Haruhi….the one I know….she is still buried underneath. Riddled with fear, grief, trauma. Imagine it, a six year old who remembered in full clarity how her mother looked as she lay dying. How she looked in the coffin, everything about it terrified you. Death….you were obsessed with trying to forget your memories of her death, because you saw it all so clearly. The dreams you had, nothing but high resolution memories of how she looked when she died….do you remember that? You were in the room when she died…laying next to her on the hospital bed...it was storming out, thunder and lighting….you looked up and she was gone, you said her eyes looked so empty and cold. You ran for your father, told him something was wrong with her."
A flash, almost too quick to see, her mother's empty face, glazed eyes, a flash of lightning, so clear in her mind and she brought a hand to her mouth as she closed her eyes tight.
"I never….I never actually got a chance to help you work through your problems. I was so blinded by my love for you….I just….swept them under a rug….it's still all there...who you were before. I wanted to bring it all back, unblock it all so I could do it right, so we could be together."
"I'm never going to remember everything unless I let you finish what you started, am I." and Haruhi says it matter-of-factly, know the answer even before Sato bows his head.
"No. You will remain as you are now, over the next few months, the fear you are experiencing will fade back to its resting place in your subconscious and you will remain the Haruhi everyone has grown to know. The only way to meet your real self, the person who you were before I changed you, would be for me to remove the blocks."
Haruhi stood slowly, looking down at the man, not with hate, but with understanding, "You made it so I could be self-reliant, you made it so my true intelligence could come through. I was….going to face a life of difficulty. Anxiety, fear...depression...I would have been...handicapped. You gave me confidence, pulled forth the personality traits I wanted, the ones I needed to be a fully functional person."
"Yes." Sato said softly as he looked at the ground.
"What you did was wrong. The way you felt for me was wrong. You don't get to decide who a person will become, how they spend their life. You changed my future, changed who I was as a person. Who I was born to be…"
"I know. Haruhi, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"
"I became this person, not because I am actually brave, not because I am clever….it's because you made me this way."
"Yes." and she saw the tears streaming down his face, trying to avoid looking at her he sniffed towards his lap.
"I have one last question, Dr. Sato." and her stomach twisted, the worry filling her as she wrapped arms around herself.
"Alright." he says softly.
"Did you assault me?" her words are cold, the bravery she often relied on to see her through the tough times of her life shining bright her her eyes as she looked at him.
Sato's face snapped up, anger in his eyes and a frown on his face, "I would never! I was in love with you, twisted and rotten as it was, I was NOT a pedophile! I planned to wait until you were eighteen, with your consent! I never touched you other than hugs and appropriately placed kisses. Believe me to be anything you want, your monster, demon the shadows under your bed, a lowly bug, the mud under your shoe….but I never….ever…..touched you...not like that."
The silence was thick, Sato crying into his lap as that sudden spark of fire left him, Haruhi sitting there and staring at him, eyes calm as she let the man's sudden outburst digest and ruminate between them.
Finally, Haruhi stood, slowly walking around the table to come stand next to him as she looked down at his bowed head.
Her voice was soft, eyes gentle, "What you did to me and my father….it was wrong….what you did to Tamaki….was wrong. I don't know how...or when….if I can ever forgive you. But...I want to try."
A small gasp came from him, body going stiff at her words before he glanced up at her, "
"As horrible and sick as it was….I asked for it, I remember pleading with you to help me, change me, make me better. I was only a child but I knew what I wanted from you. I asked you to help me not be scared, I was practical enough even back then to know what I was requesting of you. So, for that….I can only give you a single thank you." and she leaned down, pressed a faint kiss to the top of his head and then headed for the door, "Good-bye, Doctor Sato."
Sato started to sob as he said in shuttering gasps, "Goodbye, my sweet little shojo….goodbye."
PAGE BREAK
Two months had passed in a whirlwind of classes, Host Club parties, exams and two rather intense sleep-overs.
Kyoya had stayed good to his promise, the first of every month, meeting at Haruhi's and discussing the club and ideas for the month ahead. The twins had also made good on their promise to spice things up, with bad movies, popcorn and scary stories.
By this time, Haruhi was finally starting to feel like her old self, having spent time talking to a phycologist who was able to help her process and digest the experiences she had recently been through, plus the memories that still came unbidden. It was a difficulty that came with Hyperthymesia, though, after some testing, (which cost little to nothing thanks to Kyoya) Haruhi was told her case was minor, and considering Sato had essentially created these "blocks" in her brain it would not be something that would cause her long term difficulty.
Haruhi found there was a lot of skepticism from the doctors she had to see on whether such a technique would actually work, and Haruhi had asked Kyoya to make sure those curious doctors did not get carried away with any type of research that could potentially cause such traumas as hers to anyone else.
The young man was quick to agree and promise to monitor the situation.
Things with Tamaki had been wonderful, the young man now fully recovered with nothing but two thin scars showing where he had been cut and then stabbed.
His prince charming looks had been returned to normal, having worn makeup the first few weeks after his brawl to diswayed the ladies who visited the club from worrying as well as starting a gossip mill.
He was back to his eccentric self, coming up with excessive ideas, plans that would not work if kyoya wasn't there to smooth them out.
Through it all, Haruhi had thanked each member of the club for helping to protect her, for helping her father, for going above and beyond the call of duty that friendship often required.
Her shock at their willingness to help having turned into a warm and blooming affection for each of them.
She was back, her life was normal (as normal as a young girl pretending to be a young man could be anyway) and she felt good. Her relationship with Tamaki was fresh, safe and happy. Her friends were loyal, solid and true. Her father was giving her more space and allowing her to grow into the adult she would soon be, and her memories of Sato, well, they just didn't scare her anymore.
PAGEBREAK
One night, while her father was at work, she had asked Tamaki to come over. The young man being the gentleman he was, keeping things relaxed and calm, his intentions clear.
"Would you like some tea?" Haruhi asked as Tamaki sat at the table, a smile on his face and a game of Sudoku on the table before him, ready to try and solve the thing with Haruhi's much needed help.
"Yes. That would be lovely, thank you." the young man said softly, though his eyes left the game and looked out the window, the darkness outside lighting up with a clear ripple of lightning. The thunder that came was far away but he heard the crash of a mug on the floor only seconds later.
He didn't overreact, did not go running into the kitchen. He stood calmly, walking through the doorway to find Haruhi staring at the mug which has shattered on the floor as she shook badly.
Coming up behind her, Tamaki placed his hands on her shoulders and pressed his lips to the back of her head, "It will get easier, overtime. Dr. Ko said that-"
"I know what she said. But it's still different. I know why I am so scared of thunderstorms, I see her face now, everytime lighting flashes, when the thunder rumbles I her being buried. It's so clear...so...vivid."
"You just need more time." Tamaki promises gently, his hands gently sliding down her arms only to take her hands in his.
"Senpai-"
"Yes, Haruhi?"
"I need you to do something for me." and her hair still hung before her as she looked down, eyes locked onto that shattered teacup as her body still trembled, though not near as badly as before.
"Anything you want, I will do."
"I want you to help me make a new memory. One that will be a positive association."
Tamaki smiled against her head, "Alright. Just tell me what to do, I will be happy to-"
"Take me to bed." she says softly, delicately and Tamaki seems to still behind her, the quiet of the house near deafening.
"Are you sure?" he asks just as soft, his hold on her hands tightening just that fraction of a bit more.
"I don't want to see...I don't want to remember her...not like that... and unless I change something, try to make new memories….better ones….it could be like this for the rest of my life. From now on, when a thunderstorm comes, I want to think of you….and me….of us together, being together. I don't think I will be so scared if...the memories I see….are good ones."
"If...that's what you want-"
"I do." and she turns to look up into his eyes, sees the worry in them at her sudden request but she knows what she wants, what she is asking of him. This time she knows she is right, not simply doing things based on irrational fears.
"I….love you." she says softly, her voice calm and even.
Tamaki brings one of her hands to his lips before he wraps it around his neck and then gently picks her up. Walking towards her bedroom slowly as Haruhi leans her head against this chest.
PAGE BREAK
As the lighting flashes and the thunder rumbles, rain pelts at the windows. But in the darkness, Haruhi doesn't notice. Her body stopped shaking thirty minutes ago when Tamaki took root between her thighs.
Slow and gentle, his hands explore, his lips never leaving hers as he helps her to create memories of love, warmth and connection.
It lasted well into the night, through the storm. Gentle exploring, feelings of pure want and expressions of devotion.
Her father would be home soon but she didn't want him to go, as they lay naked, wrapped together in each others arms, she wished he could stay until morning.
She recalls the look in his eyes, the sound of his soft voice in her ears, hands on her skin and hips moving so carefully. Haruhi knew, as it had begun, during and after that Tamaki was more than devoted to her. He loved her, worshipped her and she knew she felt the same.
Her phone rang, and she saw it was her father calling. She had sat up instantly, flipping her phone open as Tamaki sat up beside her.
"Dad? Is everything okay? Why are you calling so late?"
"Hello sweetheart, I wasn't sure if you'd still be awake. I wanted to check on you and make sure you are doing alright, what with the storm. I know how much they bother you."
"Oh. Thanks. Yeah, I'm alright-" she says as she looks at Tamaki and smiles, pulling the sheet up to cover her chest.
"Are you on your way home?"
"Actually, I may go stay with a friend tonight. We have some things to discuss and I just wanted to make sure you would be alright if-"
"Yes. I'll be alright. It's good for you to go spend time with friends. Will you be home in the morning?"
"Yes...maybe...I will be home. Not sure when…but I promise we will have dinner together. Alright?"
"Sounds good. Have fun." and Haruhi hung up her phone, looking to Tamaki as her eyes shined, "Looks like we get to spend more time together." Tamaki mused softly.
"Yeah." Haruhi said and then Tamaki was leaning forward, kissing her as his hand cupped her face and he was pressing her back down, Haruhi opening herself up to him again, ready to make tonight count, ready to use the time they have just been given to engulf herself in his love.
PAGE BREAK
Kyoya stood in the doorway of the back room, the curtain having closed behind him. The bar was closed, only Ranka remained.
They stared at each other, neither moving, and slowly Ranka pulled out his phone. She dialed his daughters number and waited.
"Hello sweetheart, I wasn't sure if you'd still be awake. I wanted to check on you and make sure you are doing alright, what with the storm. I know how much they bother you….. actually, I may go stay with a friend tonight-" his eyes looking to Kyoya carefully as he continued, "We have some things to discuss and I just wanted to make sure you would be alright if…..yes...maybe...I will be home. Not sure when…but I promise we will have dinner together. Alright?"
Ranka's eyes never left Kyoya's as he hung up his phone and tucked it back into his purse, "So, you actually showed."
Kyoya smirked softly, "We had a deal. You gave me two months, here I am. In five minutes, I will be eighteen. I thought you might like to celebrate with me."
"Oh. I see. And just how were you planning to celebrate?"
Kyoya held Ranka's gaze, but his hands slowly rose to undo his tie and remove his suit jacket.
"I have a few ideas. But it's really up to you." he slowly walked over and stood before Ranka as he said softly, "Three minutes."
Ranka sighed and said in his normal voice, "You're not going to drop this are you." it was a statement and Kyoya raised a hand to cup his face, "No. Not unless you can tell me right now that you don't have feelings for me. That everything we've done and shared the last two months was all a lie. Of course, I wouldn't believe a word of it." he said the last part so softly and Ranka felt his heart beat a bit faster.
"Two minutes." the young man near whispered.
"So, if I say no, that I'm not interest and don't want anything to do with you, you'll leave?"
"Yes." and Kyoya's tone was dark, a little too dark, his eyes narrowing, before he said almost desperately, "But, I would really like for you to be honest, and not just do what you think is best for me...one minute left."
Ranka glared at him, the older man raising his hand to cup Kyoya's face, "Your handsome, pure evil and used to getting whatever you want. If I say yes, I'm just another stepping stone for you on your way to something better."
"Ranka-" he warns.
"If I say no, you may choose to either walk away or continue this foolish game of pursuit. I don't see a future here, I don't see us living together happily in the end. And I know you know it too. So, it doesn't really matter what is good for you at this point. Only one of us has something to gain out of this, and honestly, it's me."
"Ten seconds." Kyoya says as he leans closer, pressing Ranka against the wall as his hands glide up the man's throat to cup his jaw.
"Alright, Kyoya Ootori, you win. I'm willing to play, but if you want to be a real man, you have to accept all the heartache that comes with it. And when this inevitably ends, when this game of yours burns to the ground, I don't want to hear you bitch or moan-"
"Never." and he leans in and kisses Ranka swiftly, his hand sliding down the man's body as he hooks a hand under the man's thigh and pulls his leg up and away.
"Let's dance." Kyoya says softly and then all is quiet.
PAGE BREAK
You've done so well. My beautiful little girl, now a woman. I'm so proud of you.
Mom? Where are you? I can't see-
You always find a way to rise above the hardships life brings to you. You are going to be a very amazing young woman. And, I hope you are so very happy.
Mom! Wait, I love you! I miss you, please, let me see you!
I'm here darling, come to me, let me hold you before I go.
Mom? Mom!
The embrace is everything she has ever wanted, her heart near exploding with a content happiness.
I miss you, so much, I miss you…..
I miss you too, but you've created quite the family for yourself.
She sees her friends standing across the way, smiling faces, kind eyes, her father next to them waving happily.
You are an extraordinary young woman, Haruhi. I am so proud.
Please don't go.
Nothing that dies is ever really gone, you know this, I'm always here. Just look for me in your happiness and I will be there smiling back.
I love you.
I love you too, Haruhi. Now go, live your life, and be at peace.
PAGE BREAK
Haruhi ran down the sidewalk, bag on her shoulder, breaths panting.
"Hey! Commoner! You were supposed to wait outside!" she stops and looks to see Hikaru with his head out of the sun roof of the twin's limo.
"You were late. I thought you forgot!" and she turned and headed for the door that Kaoru pressed open.
"Naw, couldn't forget you, Mr. Glutton here just wanted an extra serving of breakfast."
"Shut up Kaoru, I was hungry. Wasn't my fault we were up running around all night, if you hadn't drank all those energy drinks-"
"Moving on." Kaoru said suddenly as the limo pulled away and headed for the school.
Upon arrival they got out and saw the rest of the Host Club waiting by the gate, yet another new ritual they hard started. The group walking in together, a strong united front that seemed to make everyone's day better.
Tamaki ran to her, scooping her up in his arms, "Hello, my most beautiful princess!" he chirped happily and Haruhi muscled her way free, "Knock it off, Senpai. People will see and I don't want to become nothing more than your gay lover."
Tamaki laughed, "Would it be so bad?"
Haruhi smirked, "I suppose not, but then you wouldn't be the princely type anymore, we'd have to compete for the twins spot as-"
"Come on Haru-chan! The bells about to ring!"
Tamaki glanced around, before leaning in and giving Haruhi a soft kiss, "Come on, the day awaits!" and he took her hand and led her over to the group.
Their smiling faces and happy demeanor reminding Haruhi of the dream she had last night, a peaceful sense of belonging and happiness falling over her. And as she joined the group and walked with them inside, she knew, no matter what happened in the future she was going to be just fine.
A/N: And that is a wrap! Hope you guys enjoyed it! Keep your eyes peeled for more short stories, one-shots and other little adventures as I may post some in the future. READ AND REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT!